Latest / The Lila Rose Show / E265: Debating Same-Sex Marriage w/ Perez Hilton and Carrie Prejean Boller | Lila Rose Show
Transcript
- 0:00I was called into the top five and I was ready to be Miss USA
- 0:03as I thought wow, here is such a controversial question.
- 0:07You went on that night and did a YouTube video stating that I
- 0:10gave. The worst answer in pageant
- 0:14history? Miss California lost because
- 0:16she's a dumb. It was intentionally cruel,
- 0:20which is one of the reasons why I fully believe that.
- 0:23I would really love to know your perspective why you asked me
- 0:26that question. Why did I ask that question?
- 0:28What I was expecting was a typical beauty pageant answer.
- 0:31Just that event, looking back on it, would you have changed
- 0:33anything at all? I knew better and I chose.
- 0:41Hey, everyone, welcome back to the Lila Rose Show.
- 0:44All right, today we're doing things a little differently.
- 0:45We're having a discussion here with Carrie Prejean Bowler as
- 0:49well as Perez Hilton, and we're going to have a conversation
- 0:53about their interactions in the past, which we'll get into.
- 0:56Some of you might be familiar from the great show we did with
- 0:58Carrie recently. And we're going to have a
- 1:00conversation, a candid conversation, respectfully,
- 1:02about the differences in worldview between Perez.
- 1:06Carrie. I'm going to contribute a little
- 1:07bit, but I'm going to avoid going too much.
- 1:10My perspective here. You all know where I stand on
- 1:12these issues, but I really wanted to have this be a
- 1:14conversation that Perez and Carrie could have and I will
- 1:17help moderate and maybe contribute a little bit as we
- 1:19go. Also, I want to ask you to
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- 1:53content as well as access to upcoming guests, head on over to
- 1:58patreon.com/lila Rose Show and be part of the growing community
- 2:02over there. But I'm super excited to have
- 2:04Perez join. Perez, welcome so much to the
- 2:06show. Thank you for joining.
- 2:08Thanks for having me. I, you know, it might surprise
- 2:13people, but I'm very conservative in a lot of ways.
- 2:18I, I, I consider myself a centrist.
- 2:21You know, many of us carry with us the, I wouldn't call it
- 2:26baggage, but you know, the upbringing that we had.
- 2:30And some people stay along the same path and some people
- 2:35deviate and find their own way or a different way or they go
- 2:38back to that path. I grew up in Miami, the son of
- 2:43two Cuban immigrants, and it was a very homogeneous upbringing.
- 2:47It was me in a Latino community and I went to an all boy Jesuit
- 2:52school. And I don't know if you're
- 2:55familiar, but most Cubans, and probably even more than Cubans,
- 3:00but most Latinos in Miami are Republicans.
- 3:04And I don't identify as a Republican.
- 3:06I identify as a centrist. I don't really like either side.
- 3:10But because I have that upbringing of being born and
- 3:14raised in a conservative community and because I'm
- 3:19Latino, I still love my family members that voted for Donald
- 3:25Trump. You know, I think it's a very, I
- 3:28might be stereotyping here, but it's it seems more common in
- 3:33Anglo America in non Latino communities to cut out family
- 3:40members or friends who supported Donald Trump and Latinos.
- 3:45We don't do that for the most part, you know, like, okay,
- 3:48you're my, you're my cousin, my aunt, my uncle, whomever.
- 3:51I'm not saying it's those people, but you're a family
- 3:53member of mine. You're still my family.
- 3:55I still love you. It doesn't matter who you voted
- 3:58for. And I'm not even going to talk
- 4:00politics with you because I'm not trying to change anyone's
- 4:04mind. I'm not a politician and I don't
- 4:08think anybody would probably change my mind about my views
- 4:11that I've gotten to either. So I just wanted to say all that
- 4:16to say that I'm really approaching this as a
- 4:20constructive conversation to hopefully get more conversations
- 4:25like this happening and to hopefully get more
- 4:30understanding. Maybe because I'm still me, I
- 4:37still like to be honest, and I am.
- 4:39How I express my opinions are different than before, but I'm
- 4:46not going to censor myself. Because of your audience, I'm
- 4:51not a fan of Donald. Trump, please don't do that.
- 4:53We don't want any self censorship here.
- 4:54I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan of Donald Trump
- 4:58and it saddens me that he has played a big role.
- 5:03In the what I call showbiz, showbiz showbizification of
- 5:09politics. I don't think that politics
- 5:13should be show business. You know, like, and it sucks
- 5:17that it's not all him not putting the blame on him.
- 5:20It's a lot of social medias fault as well, because social
- 5:25media really rewards rage bait and and you know, people will
- 5:30say crazy things because they want to get more views.
- 5:34And I, I know that first hand. I'm guilty of that in the past
- 5:38in many awful ways. Thank you, Perez.
- 5:42Well, thanks for sharing all of that.
- 5:43I'm going to introduce Carrie. Welcome back to the show,
- 5:45Carrie. So Carrie's here in studio and I
- 5:48know she's excited to have the conversation as well.
- 5:50And I appreciate kind of sharing where you're coming from a
- 5:52little bit. But Carrie, thanks for thanks
- 5:54for joining as well. Thank you so much for having me.
- 5:57So I think for starters, we can talk about, you know, just a
- 6:01little bit of the clearing the air between the two of you.
- 6:03I know you actually haven't met physically in person, like on to
- 6:06shake hands or give each other a hug.
- 6:07I think you were in person at the Miss USA pageant.
- 6:10What is it now 16 years ago, over 15 years ago.
- 6:13So let's just share maybe briefly how you both remember
- 6:17those events, what you would have changed now, if anything,
- 6:21and then any other thoughts you want to share with each other.
- 6:23And I will let you start. Carrie.
- 6:26OK. Hi, Perez.
- 6:27It's so good to see you. You look great.
- 6:29Too Thank. You yeah, the last time we kind
- 6:32of interacted was kind of during COVID a little bit, but prior to
- 6:35that was really the night of the pageant.
- 6:37I was called into the top five and I was ready to be Miss USA
- 6:41and representing the state of California.
- 6:45With all due respect, we, the girls had no idea who you were.
- 6:48We actually thought you were Paris Hilton.
- 6:51And we were all joking, like, is she going to bring her dog?
- 6:53And so when we saw you, we were like, oh, I wonder who that guy
- 6:57is? I mean, we didn't know anything
- 6:58about you. So you've obviously had a big
- 7:01career since then. But when I received your
- 7:04question, you know, Vermont recently became the 4th state to
- 7:07legalize same sex marriage. Do you believe other states
- 7:10should follow suit? Why or why not?
- 7:13To be honest with you, Perez, I I was taken aback because I
- 7:15thought, wow, here is such a controversial question.
- 7:19I wasn't sure if you were told to ask a controversial question
- 7:22or if that came from you. But as you know, representing
- 7:27California, I don't know if you're familiar with Prop 8, but
- 7:30Californians did not support the redefinition of marriage.
- 7:34We, we wanted marriage to be defined as one man and one
- 7:38woman. Majority of people in my state
- 7:40wanted that. And then on top of that, you
- 7:43know, you asking my personal opinion as a Christian, I gave
- 7:47you that answer and then the rest is history.
- 7:52So you went on that night and did a YouTube video stating that
- 7:55I gave the worst answer in pageant history, which I think
- 8:01it was actually the best answer in pageant history because it
- 8:04showed that I am just being true to myself.
- 8:06Like what you said earlier, you're always going to be
- 8:08honest. You're always going to be true
- 8:09to yourself. And even the crown of Miss USA
- 8:12wasn't worth, you know, losing myself and lying to the American
- 8:16people, especially for a temporary title as Miss USA.
- 8:20Perez, do you, what are your thoughts in terms of that event?
- 8:24Again, I know it's 15 plus years ago now, but I know recently you
- 8:27and Carrie have had a conversation about it.
- 8:29And do you have any thoughts about just that event looking
- 8:32back on it? Would you have changed anything
- 8:34at all? What's your perspective?
- 8:37Definitely. You know, I think I know that if
- 8:42I would have, well, actually I was a judge on Miss Universe a
- 8:48few years ago, so, so many years after Miss USA.
- 8:52And there was also controversy that night as well.
- 8:55I don't know. Controversy follows me in beauty
- 8:58pageants. That was the night that Steve
- 8:59Harvey crowned the wrong winner. And then, Oh my God, there was a
- 9:03mix up and then they gave it to the right winner.
- 9:06But I did a lot of talking after that mix up and I had opinions
- 9:15that I don't think that I expressed them in a way that was
- 9:20cruel, which is different from how I responded to Kerry's
- 9:25answer. It was cruel and it was cruel
- 9:30not even casually. It was intentionally cruel,
- 9:34which is one of the reasons why I fully believe that.
- 9:38Well, first of all, I, I, I, I'm sorry, I, I think I said that
- 9:41last time. So I, I would like to apologize
- 9:44again here in this platform sincerely.
- 9:47And I say this as a cautionary tale, you know, cliche, does it
- 9:53sound, but oftentimes. A first impression is a lasting
- 9:58impression and many people still think of me as that person from
- 10:0615 years ago. And even though I know that I've
- 10:11changed and I do things differently, I don't want to put
- 10:15a a number like I don't want to say the majority or a fair a
- 10:19good amount. A lot of people still want to
- 10:22keep me trapped in this prison cell of the past.
- 10:28But in a way that's freeing because I'm not trying for any
- 10:35redemption. I'm not trying for forgiveness.
- 10:40I'm just doing better and being better and making mistakes along
- 10:44the way. I'm not perfect, nobody is.
- 10:47But you know, I could have. I should have expressed my
- 10:52disappointment to the answer in a way that wasn't purposely
- 10:57cruel. You know, like my MO back in the
- 10:59day was. And This is why I actually, I
- 11:03don't even know if I I would forgive myself if I wasn't me.
- 11:07I don't know if I would if I was just like a general person in
- 11:10the public, like, oh, you know, people say, oh, you were so
- 11:13toxic, you were cruel, you were bad for society.
- 11:17If I wasn't me, I might agree with those people because I knew
- 11:23better and I chose not to do better.
- 11:28I was so selfish. All I cared about was the
- 11:32attention I was getting, and I wanted more attention.
- 11:35It was like a drug. It was.
- 11:36Some people don't like attention.
- 11:39I did. I still do.
- 11:41I'm still an attention addict. I have to work at these impulses
- 11:46and tendencies that if I'm not careful, can creep back up.
- 11:51And you know, I, I, I, I made a lot of mistakes in the past that
- 11:57are very public and I feel like I live life with this Scarlet P
- 12:03And the difference is, you know, everybody has baggage.
- 12:07It's just that most people can hide theirs.
- 12:09I can't hide from mine. I'm not trying to hide from
- 12:12mine. I'm just trying to, like I said,
- 12:15be better and do better. And I, and I, and I think, and I
- 12:19think I am and, and B, since like, oh God, it's crazy. 2025
- 12:24is just like the wildest year. I follow this creator and these
- 12:29people exist. I follow this creator on social
- 12:32media named Kara Cunningham. I don't know if your audience is
- 12:36familiar with her, but she's a transgender creator who achieved
- 12:42virality 1516 years ago. She used to go by the name.
- 12:47And she she's a conservative trans woman who voted for Donald
- 12:51Trump. So I don't think she would have
- 12:53issue with me revealing her old name because some trans people
- 12:57don't like that. Oh, that's the dead name and
- 12:59they don't want to. So she used to go by Chris
- 13:02Crocker, who made that iconic video from the early 2000s Leave
- 13:06Brittany alone. That's Kara Cunningham.
- 13:10And she lost over 100,000 followers on just Instagram
- 13:18because her audience did not like that she voted for Donald
- 13:22Trump. And even though I did not vote
- 13:25for Donald Trump, I'm not going to unfollow Cara Cunningham
- 13:30because of that. And I'm not going to say and
- 13:33actually I would a mistake that I made after.
- 13:37I think with, you know what, when you grow up, when you get
- 13:40older, hopefully you get wiser and more mature and hopefully
- 13:43more understanding and hopefully more compassionate.
- 13:47You know, in 2016, nine years ago, after Trump won, I was
- 13:51like, it's the end of the world. This is awful, you know, And
- 13:55like, now it's like, all right, these people voted differently
- 13:58than I did, but that doesn't mean they're bad people.
- 14:01There are bad people that voted for Donald Trump, but not
- 14:06everybody who voted for Donald Trump is a bad person.
- 14:08And, you know, I just try to approach my life from that place
- 14:12of understanding and compassion. Thank you, Perez.
- 14:17I think that's I very, very laudatory and I, I think I know
- 14:22Kerry has a take on this. I mean, every one of us,
- 14:26especially myself, I would put myself first in line, have done
- 14:30things both personally and publicly that are not perfect.
- 14:34I may regret. We make mistakes.
- 14:36So I think my goal here isn't so much to re litigate, you know,
- 14:40the past, but to talk about that as a foundation and then get to
- 14:44perspectives being different today and how we can kind of
- 14:46talk through those. But I know, Carrie, you had
- 14:48something to say here. So yeah.
- 14:50Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much, Prez.
- 14:53I know that when I had reached out to you during COVID, I was
- 14:57still kind of angry. You know, I kind of was a little
- 14:59bit bitter about the way things ended with us.
- 15:02And, you know, over the years, I, I've thought a lot about you.
- 15:06And now that I'm a mom and we never got to meet.
- 15:11And had we got to meet, I think that we would find common ground
- 15:17more than people think. And, and so I appreciate your
- 15:20sincere apology and I, I want you to know publicly that I do
- 15:24forgive you. And I'm sorry if I ever hurt
- 15:29you. Obviously, my feelings that
- 15:33night are still the feelings that I have.
- 15:36And so I just want the audience to know that I think it's a
- 15:39beautiful thing that we're here together.
- 15:41And thank you for coming on. And thank you for Lila, to Lila,
- 15:44for having both of us on. And I think the world wants us
- 15:47to hate each other. But, you know, we owe it to
- 15:51ourselves and to our fellow Americans to really come
- 15:55together and unite as Americans. And, and so thank you.
- 15:59And I, I want you to know I totally forgive you and I love
- 16:03you as a brother. So I I'm looking forward to this
- 16:05conversation. Oh, thank you.
- 16:09Yeah, I don't really. I don't hate anybody really.
- 16:12And you know, I almost actually what's, what's so funny is the
- 16:18older we get, at least for me, I start to become more and more
- 16:22like my mother and. Same, Perez.
- 16:26My mother is blissfully ignorant from everything politics.
- 16:33I'm like, maybe I should just detach, but I still care.
- 16:37Like I'm, I still follow what's going on, but I'm like, what
- 16:42would happen if I stopped following?
- 16:43Like, you know, like I might be happier.
- 16:47It's like the news and what's going on in the world and
- 16:51everything. It's because it's like, I don't
- 16:53know, I, I feel like, like, like Carrie said, I feel like at the
- 16:57end of the day, I like to believe that most people are
- 17:01good. And if you view people as mostly
- 17:05being good and flawed, but good people and your neighbor.
- 17:09Actually, I moved to Las Vegas since we spoke last, and Las
- 17:13Vegas is a much more real place than Los Angeles.
- 17:21It's a big city, but it's got a small town feel to it.
- 17:25And there's real community here that I never really got in Los
- 17:30Angeles. And I love community and I love
- 17:32that, you know, actually politics isn't a topic of
- 17:35regular conversation here. When I go out and I see my
- 17:38friends or we randomly run into each other somewhere, we just
- 17:42talk about our lives and we talk about things that we did
- 17:46recently. And I love that Vegas is a place
- 17:50where everybody can harmoniously coexist.
- 17:53And it's, you know, it's not like I'm a liberal or a
- 17:55conservative or a centrist and you're not, it's like we're just
- 17:58all Las Vegas residents and we're here and it's a small
- 18:01town. And actually, I think because
- 18:03it's a smaller city than Los Angeles, everybody feels like
- 18:06they have to play nice because everybody knows everybody.
- 18:09And it's a, and you don't want to burn bridges.
- 18:11And if if you approach living in big cities or any life like it's
- 18:16a small town, I think that might be a good way of living for
- 18:20everybody. I like that.
- 18:22I think that's a a good perspective.
- 18:24I think the bottom line is treating people with respect and
- 18:27love and kindness is going to make any society happen and
- 18:31civilization be able to sustain itself.
- 18:33There's also the question of the order for a society, the order
- 18:37for a culture, the political system and what are the rules,
- 18:40You know, what are the governing, you know, body of law
- 18:43that is going to help us know how to interact with each other.
- 18:46So we are going to get into the question of same sex marriage
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- 21:36You know what? Carrie had shared at the pageant
- 21:38was that marriage is between one man and one woman and she shares
- 21:41this as a Christian. But you know, my perspective is
- 21:43this is a 2000 year old, yes, Christian tradition, but it
- 21:47predates Christianity. For me, believing that marriage
- 21:51is between thinking that marriage is between one man and
- 21:54one woman is not a matter of religious belief.
- 21:56It's a matter of looking at the natural order, the way male is
- 21:59designed, females designed, how life comes into the world.
- 22:02So you can be, in my view, any religion or no religion and
- 22:05still think, OK, marriage, you know, should be largely between
- 22:08a man and a woman because that's how life comes into the world.
- 22:11They're made for each other. Children ideally have both a
- 22:14mother and a father. Sometimes that's not possible,
- 22:16but that's the ideal for their development.
- 22:19I'd love your take on this, Perez.
- 22:21And again, I want to again, appreciate you being willing to
- 22:24come and speak with us because I know we disagree and I think
- 22:26there's so much power in having this conversation.
- 22:28So I'd love your your take on that.
- 22:29Well, I think they're two different conversations.
- 22:32I think what you were talking about is religious marriage.
- 22:36I respect that. And then there is the legal
- 22:41protections, rights and privileges that come with
- 22:44marriage. For example, if I was dating
- 22:48somebody for 20 years and that person got in an awful accident,
- 22:53if I'm not legally their spouse, I would not be able to make
- 22:58medical decisions for that person.
- 23:00I think legal marriage is a totally separate thing from
- 23:04religious marriage. And I don't even care my
- 23:06thoughts on religious marriage. Who cares?
- 23:09Like I, I, I, I, I actually don't, you know, like if, if, if
- 23:14the Catholic Church says marriage is between a man or a
- 23:17woman, OK, great. I'm not trying to change the
- 23:19Catholic Church. That's what the Catholic Church
- 23:21can believe. So Carrie, do you have any
- 23:26thoughts on that? And I I'll, I might weigh in as
- 23:28well, but I'll let you take a first stab.
- 23:29Yeah. So I guess my question to you
- 23:31is, what do you believe defines marriage?
- 23:36Like who gets to define marriage in your opinion?
- 23:40I believe marriage is a contract between two people and religion
- 23:48can view it one way and the federal government can view it
- 23:51another way. I know and back in 2009 the
- 23:54whole love is love thing. Like do you stand by that where
- 23:57it's, you know, love is love and you can just marry whoever you
- 24:00love? Like is that still your stance
- 24:02of like if I love a man and I love a woman, can I can I marry
- 24:07both or is it just one and one? Like what is your standard?
- 24:14And just a quick note, there is there is polyamory happening
- 24:17enshrined in marital relationships now for adoption
- 24:20and fostering is my understanding.
- 24:22And I don't know if we're in the legal marriage place yet, but
- 24:24that has been a request made. So there's mean, you know, a
- 24:28throuple asking to marry and have the legal benefits of a
- 24:31couple as well as the benefit of adopting, fostering, surrogacy,
- 24:35etcetera. So that is a that's not just a
- 24:38no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a real kind of thing.
- 24:40Happening. I mean, you know, there's still
- 24:42a lot of Mormon folks who believe in polygamy.
- 24:46I honestly haven't put too much thought into if I believe that
- 24:51federal, federally recognized marriage should be for more than
- 24:56one person. I'm not a politician and I don't
- 24:59I don't also believe that everybody has to have a
- 25:01political opinion on every political issue.
- 25:06Is it a political opinion or would that just be a moral
- 25:10opinion? Like what?
- 25:11What is your? I guess what I'm trying to get
- 25:12at is I get my standard obviously from my Christian
- 25:16faith. So what is your standard?
- 25:19From my life experience, I would say you know from from making
- 25:25mistakes and learning along the way and paying attention to the
- 25:28lessons that life has taught me is where I personally get my
- 25:32morality. So should laws be based on
- 25:36people's, you know, experiences or?
- 25:39I believe that laws should not be based on religion.
- 25:42I think that's one of the founding principles of our
- 25:44country, the separation of church and state.
- 25:47Absolutely. Where?
- 25:50Where is the separation of church and state, do you know?
- 25:53I believe it's somewhere in the Constitution.
- 25:59It's nowhere in the Constitution Press.
- 26:02Hold on, let me look that up. Does the US Constitution.
- 26:12That's why I think in conversations like this are so
- 26:14important because there's so many things that can be said,
- 26:17you know, typing behind a keyboard.
- 26:20And that's what's so beautiful about these types of
- 26:23conversations is we can challenge each other in a loving
- 26:26way. I mean, the goal is to really
- 26:28just come to they don't and they.
- 26:30Don't use the exact term, but it does.
- 26:35According to this, you know, the concept of the separation of
- 26:39church and state is understood in the Constitution without
- 26:42actually saying that. This is what I'm reading.
- 26:46No, the United States Constitution does not explicitly
- 26:48use the phrase separation of church and state, but the
- 26:51concept is established in the 1st Amendment's Establishment
- 26:55Clause. That's the. 1st result have an
- 26:58established religion be of of the state, but it's also to keep
- 27:03the state out of religion. It's to keep the state out of
- 27:07the business of the church. That's really the way I.
- 27:09Believe in that also. And so from the beginning of
- 27:12time, Perez, you know this, we've always had marriage
- 27:15between one man and one woman. And So what I'm trying to get at
- 27:17is where is your standard? Do you get that?
- 27:20You can say, I think we should just redefine marriage.
- 27:23Because if, if I'm correct, I remember you did a video after
- 27:27saying that if you were Miss California and you were up on
- 27:30stage that you would have said that you would have left it,
- 27:33left it up to the states, correct?
- 27:35I don't remember, that was a while ago.
- 27:37So I pulled up a video this morning just refreshing my
- 27:39memory. And you did say that.
- 27:41You said that you should have let I I should have said that it
- 27:43should have been left up to the states.
- 27:45But we did do that. We did do that specifically here
- 27:48in California. As liberal as California is,
- 27:50Perez, most of the people here did not want gay marriage.
- 27:54You remember Prop 8? Yeah.
- 27:56So what do you say about that? The people spoke and they didn't
- 27:59want gay marriage. So how did we get gay marriage?
- 28:02I would say it's 2025 now and most people the now in this day
- 28:07and age, thankfully the overwhelming majority are in
- 28:10favor of same sex marriage. But you said to leave it up to
- 28:14the states, and we did that and they voted against it.
- 28:17So how did we get gay marriage? Do you know?
- 28:18I know, but do you know how we got gay marriage?
- 28:21Yeah, the United States Supreme Court.
- 28:24But prior to that, what happened in California after Prop 8?
- 28:28It was overturned and then it was.
- 28:31But who was it overturned by? The the people.
- 28:36The no, it wasn't overturned by the people.
- 28:38It was a judge that ruled so over, you know, was overriding
- 28:42the people's decision. You said leave it up to the
- 28:44people, right? The people should decide.
- 28:46And the people did decide that they did not want gay marriage
- 28:49in California, but one judge overruled that.
- 28:52And then now we have gay marriage for all.
- 28:56What I'm asking you is where is your standard?
- 28:59Like what is your where do you draw the line?
- 29:03Like is it just based on your life experience?
- 29:06Like what is your standard? I have my standard.
- 29:09I would love to know where you get your morality from.
- 29:13I, I answered that from my life experience, from the mistakes
- 29:16I've made from, from that, you know, I, I, I, I, I don't agree
- 29:22with a lot of the teachings of the Jesuit school that I went
- 29:28to, you know, like, for example, and you listen in this, I would
- 29:31love to hear your answer on this because I think I know how
- 29:35you're going to answer. You're all about being honest.
- 29:39There are a lot of religious people who believe like, let's
- 29:44are you a Catholic, Kerry? Yes.
- 29:46OK, yes. So I know a lot of Catholic
- 29:49people, because I was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic
- 29:52school, who believe that all Jewish people, all Muslim
- 29:57people, anybody actually, they believe that anybody who's not
- 30:01Catholic. So if you're Lutheran or
- 30:03Protestant or whatever, if you're not Catholic, I know
- 30:06this, they, they believe that those people who are not
- 30:09Catholic are going to hell. Do you believe it's true?
- 30:13You don't think that's true? Or do you believe that yourself?
- 30:17No, obviously our Catholic faith, we don't, we don't say
- 30:20anyone's going to hell. I would never say we don't know.
- 30:23Yeah, we don't know. And we don't say everyone's
- 30:26going to heaven. I just went to a recent Catholic
- 30:28funeral and it's very sad. And and everybody's wearing
- 30:32black and we would never get up there saying, oh, this person is
- 30:36in heaven today. We don't know.
- 30:38So my stance is, I don't know. So that's a that's a great
- 30:44question. I'd I'd love for us and we can
- 30:46keep going down that that approach.
- 30:49Perez, if you have more questions on the lines, I do
- 30:51want to make sure we get back to the question of public policy,
- 30:53because I think that's really because it's one thing to say,
- 30:56OK, you have personal opinions about sin or virtue, right?
- 30:59And Carrie may have opinions about sin or virtue.
- 31:02And then there's the question of what should the public policy
- 31:04be? And right now the public policy
- 31:07and Kerry kind of outlined the history a bit, you know, because
- 31:09of judicial, I would argue, activism, You might say, well,
- 31:11the judge was doing the right thing, but because of judges,
- 31:14not because of some democratic vote, we have homosexual, you
- 31:17know, same sex marriage enshrined now.
- 31:19I think culturally it's like an after play.
- 31:21More people are saying, yeah, I support same sex marriage
- 31:24because once the law changes, it does affect a lot of people's
- 31:27opinions. I think that also follows.
- 31:29And then there's now a shift though happening where people
- 31:31are saying, wait, is this the right path that we're on?
- 31:34So Perez, did you have a follow up?
- 31:37I know you asked the question about what Catholics believe
- 31:39about heaven and hell. Did you have a follow up there
- 31:41or can we or should we go back to public policy?
- 31:42I want to make sure I respect a direction you wanted to go
- 31:45there. I mean, I'm happy to do whatever
- 31:49you want. Like my whole like, to sum it up
- 31:53briefly, it's like I personally believe that public, public
- 31:57policy should not be influenced by religion.
- 32:01And I'll apply that to all stances, Yeah.
- 32:06Do you realize, Perez, that our country was founded on Christian
- 32:11principles? Like can you agree to that?
- 32:14I'm not a history expert. I don't know if I'll agree to
- 32:17that. There were a lot of things that
- 32:2160 years ago were acceptable, like segregation, and they're
- 32:26not acceptable now. And I think that moving forward
- 32:30and progressing and evolving is a good thing.
- 32:35Where do you draw the line though?
- 32:37At what point? Because now I have kids, you
- 32:39know, that are being invited to drag shows.
- 32:42Because if it's just whatever feels good and you know, let's
- 32:47just go based on life experiences, why not invite 5
- 32:50year olds to drag shows? I mean, do you see where I'm
- 32:53trying to get it? Like at what point do you say
- 32:56this is the line that I draw? The line that I draw is, and I
- 33:02think that Republicans and conservatives historically were
- 33:08all about this. The line that I draw is don't
- 33:11interfere with my life. Government should stay out of my
- 33:14business and I'll stay out of yours.
- 33:17That, to me, is what am I? You do realize that that's not
- 33:20happening? We have drag shows but.
- 33:23If if you have an issue with If you have an issue with a child
- 33:26going to a drag show, don't take your child to a drag show but.
- 33:30Do you, I, I, I know you have kids.
- 33:32So are your kids in public school or private school?
- 33:35They're in private school. OK.
- 33:38Is it a religious? I mean, not that it's any of my
- 33:40business, but I would love to know the context.
- 33:42OK, so you do realize in public school that there is an agenda
- 33:47to now. I think a lot of people were
- 33:49like, OK, gay marriage, do whatever you want in your
- 33:51bedroom as long as it doesn't affect me.
- 33:53You do you. And then what we're seeing,
- 33:55Perez and and tell me if you disagree, because I'd love to
- 33:57hear your your feedback on this is now what's going on in the
- 34:02bedroom is now being discussed in the classroom and it's now
- 34:05being pushed in the boardroom. And now this idea of equality is
- 34:09now it's not about equality, it's about complete domination.
- 34:13How did we go from you, do you, Perez, with what you want to do
- 34:16in the bedroom to now this being pushed in all the schools across
- 34:20the country, not just here in California?
- 34:23Where do we draw the line? I I don't, I don't, I can't
- 34:26speak for schools and I would not describe it as, I would
- 34:31describe it as letting children know they're accepted as they
- 34:36are. And what does?
- 34:41That mean can you elaborate on that?
- 34:43Like accept them as they. Are so the way that you, the way
- 34:48that you describe what you just did?
- 34:49It's like if I was a young closeted 12 year old I would
- 34:53feel bad about myself because you just said oh the ideal way
- 34:56is not to be gay or I may be paraphrasing incorrectly but
- 35:02well. Would you agree that it's a
- 35:03disorder? Like, would you agree that
- 35:05that's not really ideal for a thriving society?
- 35:09Like a thriving society would be one man, one woman, obviously
- 35:12mother and father. We've seen that in all of human
- 35:15history. Well, the my understanding is
- 35:19that the, you know, governing board of psychology used to view
- 35:23homosexuality as a disorder, but it's not viewed that way
- 35:26anymore. Morally, religiously, you might
- 35:30disagree, but you know, smart folks that are trained
- 35:35professionals in the field have come out with a different
- 35:39opinion. I have a quick question here at
- 35:43to jump in. So when you talk about, you
- 35:45know, the board of, you know, psychological experts and the
- 35:49change, and I know what you're referring to, the DSM being
- 35:51taken out of the DSM I think 3 or 4 decades ago now it's been
- 35:54several decades. The social data I think does
- 35:59bear out and I think in human experience, it bears out the
- 36:01unique value of a mother and a father and the human design of
- 36:04male and female come together and can bring life into the
- 36:06world. And that's where Carrie is
- 36:08speaking to this idea of natural marriage being not a religious
- 36:11ideal, some divine revelation, but it's written into our very
- 36:14bodies and in our in the natural order, so we can all perceive it
- 36:17regardless of our religion or lack of religion.
- 36:20And so I'm curious about your perspective on that.
- 36:24Do you think that it is ideal for children to have a mother
- 36:27and a father? And do you think there is a
- 36:29natural order that exists that indicates marriage being one
- 36:33between one man and one woman? I think what's ideal for
- 36:37children is to have a safe, loving home, period.
- 36:44And I think that, you know, the question you just asked, I, you
- 36:53know, I, it goes back to what I said, you know, religion and
- 36:57government are two different things in my mind.
- 36:59I don't care about religious thoughts on marriage.
- 37:02I just care about the rights, privileges and protections that
- 37:06come with government sanctioned marriage.
- 37:11And I think we agree about children needing a safe home.
- 37:14So I we're fully in agreement there.
- 37:16Let. Me, let me, let me, let me, let
- 37:18me ask a I'm interested on this. I'd love to hear both of your
- 37:21answers. Do you believe that two men and
- 37:27two women, let's not even use the word marriage.
- 37:31Let's say couples that have been together 30 years.
- 37:34You know it's 2, 2 gay men and two women that have been that
- 37:39are in their 50s and they've been together for 30 plus years.
- 37:42Do you believe that they should be allowed to adopt children?
- 37:48I, I would say no and, and I want to break down actually
- 37:51connected back to something you said earlier, because I was
- 37:53going to follow up about that. This idea.
- 37:55Well, we should have same sex marriage because what about
- 37:58hospital visiting privileges as an example?
- 38:00I think you use that at the beginning.
- 38:01No more than privileges, decision making abilities.
- 38:03Decision making, yeah. And I think we can adjust our
- 38:06legal system as needed to do guardianship or who's next in
- 38:10line to make a decision. If someone's alone in the world
- 38:12who gets to make those decisions?
- 38:14That's a very separate question than redefining marriage and
- 38:17deciding who is going to be adopting, fostering or creating
- 38:21children. Right?
- 38:22And only a man and a woman together can naturally create
- 38:24children. But because of reproductive
- 38:26technologies, there's now, you know, million, there's a million
- 38:29frozen embryos. There's all these children being
- 38:31created. People can just create life at
- 38:32will, regardless of their ability.
- 38:34Naturally, they can go and hire somebody.
- 38:36Right. Sorry to interrupt you, but I
- 38:37don't want to forget this thought.
- 38:40This is not the first time that marriage has been redefined.
- 38:43Marriage was redefined decades ago when our government said,
- 38:48OK, interracial marriages are legal.
- 38:52That was a redefinition of marriage.
- 38:54So would you be, shouldn't you be against that as well?
- 38:59Because that is objectively a redefining of marriage as it was
- 39:04known in the as it was known in the United States.
- 39:08That's a consequence of racism. So I think that's less about
- 39:11what is the nature of marriage. One man, one woman, that's more
- 39:13about we're racist. Or you could be, you know,
- 39:16against inter religious marrying.
- 39:18You could be against, you know, inter ethnic marrying like
- 39:21you're saying, or racial marrying.
- 39:22You could be against inter socio economic marrying.
- 39:24There's a caste system in India that, you know, historically has
- 39:27prevented, you know, inter caste marrying.
- 39:29So that's those are all questions that I think have to
- 39:32do with justice and prudence. Yeah, I don't think that's right
- 39:35at all to say two people can't freely marry a man in a woman.
- 39:38And actually, if we want to got religious for a minute, in the
- 39:41religious context, the Catholic Church is teaching is that two
- 39:44people free consenting adults, a man and a woman, have the right
- 39:48to marry. So no government can tell them
- 39:50not to marry. But speaking from the public
- 39:53policy context, I think that's also important there too to, you
- 39:57know, consenting adults who are free should have the right to
- 40:00marry. I don't consider that some
- 40:01religious Catholic ideal. I think that's a universal truth
- 40:04that no government should prevent to a man and a woman
- 40:07coming together freely with full consent from marrying each
- 40:10other, because they're actually have been policies recommended
- 40:13100 years ago by eugenicists like Margaret Sanger to prevent.
- 40:17Marriage and children from certain couples because of their
- 40:21disabilities or their socioeconomic status.
- 40:24So there's all been all kinds of weird stuff, you know,
- 40:26historically trying to prevent people from getting married in
- 40:29the 1st place. But in terms of the definition
- 40:32of marriage as one man, one woman, that's what we're
- 40:35speaking to right now. Well, that's the religious
- 40:37definition, yes. But it's not.
- 40:39But I think Carrie and I are saying, and, and I'd love your
- 40:42take on this, we're saying it's not a religious definition,
- 40:45although you can look at virtually every world religion
- 40:48and they speak to it. We see it as a universal truth
- 40:52that's written in nature and the human body, that when you want
- 40:55to procreate the human species, you need one man and one woman
- 40:58to do it. And that the best outcomes for
- 41:01children and I think for keeping relationships between the sexes
- 41:04healthy and strong is one woman, one man.
- 41:07And that's not some opinion that's borne out in the, you
- 41:10know, universal experience. Yes.
- 41:12I mean you talked about human experience, but it also social
- 41:14data and throughout human history.
- 41:17I I would disagree that isn't an opinion, but you know, we don't.
- 41:20I'm not trying to change your mind.
- 41:24Back to the question of children and parents, I think you asked
- 41:27about that Perez and I know you might have a follow up question
- 41:30or or thought on that too, Carrie, but I am curious your
- 41:34perspective there too. Do you think it is ideal for a
- 41:37child to have both a mother and a father?
- 41:40I already answered that. I think all that matters is that
- 41:43a child is in a safe loving environment.
- 41:48You know, is it ideal for a child to have four half siblings
- 41:54because the mom and dad each got married three times and had
- 41:58multiple kids with each parent with each spouse?
- 42:01You know, I would say that's not my opinion.
- 42:06Like the concept of ideal, it doesn't matter.
- 42:08Just because I don't agree, I may not agree with somebody
- 42:13doesn't mean that they're wrong. Like that's the place where I'm
- 42:17at in these these days. Like, you know, I may not agree
- 42:20with the way that person parents or the way that that person does
- 42:22this or that person does that, but that's their way.
- 42:25My way is my way. It doesn't mean that my way is
- 42:27right and they're wrong. I feel like a lot of people do
- 42:30believe my way is right and the world would be better if
- 42:34everybody agreed with me. Like I don't.
- 42:36I don't believe that personally. Sure.
- 42:39Well, I think we both agree there are certain rights and
- 42:41wrongs like don't murder, don't steal, don't rape.
- 42:44You could argue those are religious ideas, which they are
- 42:46in basically every world religion, but they're also moral
- 42:50truths and legal precepts, clearly that we all abide by or
- 42:54we all should be abiding by, of course.
- 42:57But you know, I think back to children and and parents.
- 43:00I know you're saying, well, there's children, you know,
- 43:01families with half siblings, etcetera.
- 43:03I think they're going to get drilled down into why that's
- 43:05happening. If a spouse dies and then
- 43:07remarries, right? There is a difference between a
- 43:10spouse cheats on their spouse, leaves them and then there's
- 43:12breaking the family that way. So there's kind of, is it a
- 43:15tragedy that happened or is it somebody willfully doing the
- 43:17wrong thing that happened, you know, in that family breakdown
- 43:20potentially or in that family change.
- 43:22But back to the child, you know, I, I, you mentioned your mother
- 43:26earlier, right? And I think that there is
- 43:29something unique about a mother and there's something unique
- 43:32about a father and that we all have a mother and a father, even
- 43:35a child made via IVF in a test tube.
- 43:38They have a biological mother and a father.
- 43:40And then many of these children end up having effectively an
- 43:42adopted mother or father and or father.
- 43:45And that matters to the child. I've never met a child that it
- 43:50doesn't matter to. And so I'm curious if your your
- 43:54thoughts on that. My thoughts on what
- 44:00specifically? Your thoughts on a child's
- 44:04natural right? I would consider it their
- 44:06natural right to have a mother and a father.
- 44:10And sometimes because of adoption or or disease or death
- 44:13or some other issue, they have to have an adopted.
- 44:16They'll have an adopted mother and father, but they still
- 44:19deserve to have that mother and father because naturally they
- 44:22do. Biologically, we all are wired
- 44:24for that and we all have that. I mean, I'm old enough to know
- 44:29that things happen in life. People, people die young, people
- 44:37get divorced. I think what, like I said, what
- 44:44matters is that a child lives in is lives in an environment of
- 44:49love and support. Can I ask you, Perez, just jump
- 44:54in real quick? What?
- 44:56How would you define love? How would I?
- 45:00I mean, I don't why does it matter?
- 45:03Like I don't understand why. Because you're using the words
- 45:06as long as a child is loved. I would love to know how you
- 45:09define a child. How I define that, You know,
- 45:14giving my children structure, routine, stability, support,
- 45:22words of encouragement, consequences, enrichment, piano
- 45:32classes, swimming, things like that.
- 45:38Take having quality one-on-one time with each of the three of
- 45:41them knowing that they're a priority, the priority in my
- 45:45life. I would define love through
- 45:51actions, not words, personally. I think that's, I think we agree
- 45:57on that, Kerry. We all agree on that.
- 45:59Yeah, I think that's good. I think there's still that
- 46:02foundational reality that you have a mother biologically,
- 46:06Perez. I have a mother, Kerry, as
- 46:07mother. We all biologically have a
- 46:09father, whether we are raised by our biological mother or father,
- 46:13we will have people in our lives who are like mothers or fathers
- 46:16to us. Or if we didn't have that,
- 46:18that's often a wound for people. But that's a reality for
- 46:21virtually every human being. And so that's where, you know,
- 46:25go reverse engineering this separate from the question of
- 46:27male female relationships, the fact I think men and women are
- 46:30designed together biologically. There's also the question of
- 46:33children and what they need. Sounds like you're saying
- 46:35children just need safety structure, you know, good strong
- 46:39relationship with whoever is their parental figure, right.
- 46:43But it doesn't need to be a mother and a father.
- 46:45That doesn't really matter. And I, I don't see how that can
- 46:49be true when you know it is the social data that shows mothers
- 46:53and father father in the home is incredibly important.
- 46:56A mother in home is incredibly important.
- 46:58When you don't have one or the other, you have a lot of
- 47:00negative disadvantages. You can look at social science
- 47:02all day long on it, but you can also look at the whole range of
- 47:05human experience. You talked about human
- 47:06experience. Do you think your mother as an
- 47:10example to see make it personal? Because I know you talk about
- 47:12you base your morality on your personal experience.
- 47:14Do you think your mother has a unique role in your life as a
- 47:17mother? Or do you think if she had been
- 47:19a father it would have been the same to you?
- 47:24I mean, I don't know. I don't know.
- 47:27My dad passed away when I was young, so I don't know if I can.
- 47:33I don't know how different it could have been or would have
- 47:35been. Are you, do you consider
- 47:38yourself a religious person? I guess I never really even
- 47:40asked you that. Like, what would you know?
- 47:42Do you believe in God? Do you believe that Jesus died
- 47:46and rose again? Like where do you, where do you
- 47:48stand on your faith 'cause you were raised Catholic, you said?
- 47:51Yeah, I, I don't believe in, I would say I'm agnostic.
- 47:57Like I'm not an atheist. I would say I'm open to the
- 48:00possibility of there being something bigger than us and
- 48:04something afterlife, but I I wouldn't.
- 48:08But yeah, an agnostic doesn't necessarily believe that.
- 48:11So I, I, that's how I would describe myself.
- 48:13I would I would like. To do you believe God created
- 48:15all things like you believe that we do have a creator, a
- 48:18designer? I don't know God.
- 48:20Of order. I don't, I don't, I don't really
- 48:22have an opinion. I don't, I don't, I don't really
- 48:24believe that I it it's possible. Do you hope you're wrong?
- 48:34Yeah, I would love to be wrong. I would love for there to be,
- 48:37you know, the concept of heaven. But then it goes back to, you
- 48:40know, like all there's so many religions in the world.
- 48:45You may not agree with this, but when I went to the Jesuit
- 48:47school, we were taught, I was taught that I went to a Jesuit
- 48:51school for seven years. It was from 6th to 12th grade.
- 48:55I was taught by those Jesuit priests that non Catholics were
- 48:58going to hell. And that really stuck with me
- 49:02because I'm like, that means all Jewish people or all Muslim
- 49:05people or all other non Catholics are going to hell like
- 49:08that. Just never.
- 49:10That never made sense to me. I think we can all focus on like
- 49:15the one thing that we were taught as a kid that sticks with
- 49:18us. And I'm so sorry that that was
- 49:19your experience, but did you learn anything in that Jesuit
- 49:24school that stuck with you, that where you still hold to this
- 49:27day? Like is there something still
- 49:29in? Yeah, absolutely.
- 49:31The incredible, not the religious aspect, but just the
- 49:35really strong work ethic. You know, I, I have those high
- 49:41expectations of my children, you know, like, I'm, that I'm like a
- 49:44lot like my mother was like, I don't, I don't want B's.
- 49:47I want all A's. And, you know, it's like
- 49:50homework everyday, bedtime at 8:30 and no later and all of all
- 49:55of those things. And, you know, and it's actually
- 49:57one of the reasons I left Los Angeles.
- 49:59Like, I really am a centrist and the school that we were at was a
- 50:05little too progressive for my liking.
- 50:07They didn't do grades, they didn't do homework.
- 50:11I'm like, kids need homework. They need to be prepared for the
- 50:14real we. Have a lot in common, Perez, We
- 50:16have a lot in common. Yes, but but at the end.
- 50:20That's where it's like anything goes, like we, we don't have a
- 50:23standard anymore. It's just like everybody.
- 50:25Did have a standard. No, that school did have a
- 50:28standard. It was their standard.
- 50:29And like I didn't, I originally signed up for it because they
- 50:34have a dual language Spanish immersion program and that was
- 50:37important for me. But after I got more familiar
- 50:40with the programs, like this isn't really working for my
- 50:43family, you know, like I like, I like trick or treating and old
- 50:49school things and. They ban.
- 50:54They ban trick or treating. Well, they wouldn't let you like
- 50:58celebrate birthdays and things like that.
- 51:00You couldn't take any treats, no cupcakes, no things like that.
- 51:03And like, you know, the school that my kids are at now, if it's
- 51:06their birthday, you can take, you know, little treats and
- 51:09things like that. Like there's nothing wrong with
- 51:12that personally, but you know, the every school can determine
- 51:16what's right for their school community and the school
- 51:18culture. And I understand not everybody
- 51:23has the ability to go to a different public school if you
- 51:25don't like how that public school is running.
- 51:29Do you hope that your kids grow up to to marry the opposite sex
- 51:33or do you do you want them to follow sort of in your
- 51:36footsteps? It's just a question that I have
- 51:38for you. Like what would you encourage
- 51:40for your kids? I wouldn't use the word
- 51:42encouragement. Just like I don't talk to my
- 51:45kids and they're older now, 1210, and my, well, my youngest
- 51:49is still a baby, kind of eight. She just turned 8.
- 51:52But I don't talk to them about crushes or boys or girls, just
- 51:58like I don't talk to them about jobs.
- 52:01I don't say, oh, what do you want to be when you're older?
- 52:05I, I, all I tell them is I don't care what you do when you're
- 52:08older, so long as the number one most important thing in life for
- 52:12me is family. So family is the most important
- 52:17thing. And the number 2 most important
- 52:19thing is you have to work very hard.
- 52:22And I'm not just talking about even work, you know, like work
- 52:25very hard when it comes to your health, work very hard when it
- 52:28comes to your relationships, work very hard and everything,
- 52:31because life has taught me, my experience as an old man now has
- 52:35taught me that the harder you work at things, you know, the
- 52:38the more reward, the more you will get back.
- 52:41Not always, but more often than not.
- 52:44So yeah, my hope for my kids is just that they're happy.
- 52:49They're happy. And whatever they do, because
- 52:51life is short, you know, like 17 years goes by in the blink of an
- 52:56eye. So you would say happiness is
- 53:00the ultimate goal for you, for your children?
- 53:03Yeah, definitely. So let me ask you a question and
- 53:07I've, I've always wanted to ask someone that has your beliefs
- 53:10this question. So if your daughter came home
- 53:13and said, Hey, dad, I and, and she's obviously very thin.
- 53:19I'm just using an example. She's very thin, underweight and
- 53:23came to you and said, hey, dad, it would make me really happy to
- 53:27get liposuction. I really think that I'm
- 53:29overweight and I just, I really want to get liposuction and I
- 53:33want to be on the treadmill every night losing more weight
- 53:36because it would make me really, really happy.
- 53:38What would you say to that child?
- 53:40Would you affirm that or would you say, hey, you're really not
- 53:45fat? Like let's let's maybe go seek
- 53:48someone that can maybe walk you through this before we jump into
- 53:51that. Yeah, I mean, I would say that,
- 53:54you know, same with like I'm, I'm very conservative in many
- 53:57ways. If my child wants it, I want to
- 53:59get a tattoo. No, you're not getting a tattoo.
- 54:02You you can get a tattoo when you're an adult and like, no,
- 54:06you're not gonna. And if if the issue of
- 54:09liposuction is is more extreme than a tattoo, for that I would.
- 54:13Definitely. Yeah, for that I would
- 54:15definitely be like, well, we need to, you know, talk to a
- 54:18professional about this because you're very healthy and, you
- 54:24know, I don't have all the answers.
- 54:26And I don't even know if a professional will have all the
- 54:28answers. But you're not going to do
- 54:30anything until you're at least 18.
- 54:32And until you're 18, I think it'd be helpful to talk to a
- 54:37trained counselor, therapist, professional.
- 54:41We agree on that. So then what do you say about
- 54:44this whole transgenderism where these young kids are being put
- 54:48on puberty blockers? You know, very young age,
- 54:51obviously your same standard would apply, right?
- 54:53Not wait until you're an adult. For me and my family, yes, I
- 55:00don't really have a strong opinion on it.
- 55:04I, I would not allow my minor children to have surgery or use
- 55:10hormones, but I don't know if I necessarily believe that there
- 55:14should be a law banning it because I, I, I, I'd have to, I
- 55:22haven't really formed an opinion.
- 55:23I, I, I, I'm sure that there are people who think that that would
- 55:26be child abuse, but then also there are religious people.
- 55:31I, I forget what religion, you know, the ones that maybe it's
- 55:34Jehovah's Witness who don't believe in blood transfusions
- 55:37and they would not allow their child to receive a blood
- 55:40transfusion if they needed one. So.
- 55:44I'm curious if the liposuction example pulled that back up
- 55:48here. If there was a parent and there
- 55:51is some crazy stuff that happens, you know, there's that
- 55:53proxy Munchusen, proxy mental illness that some people have
- 55:58where they have their child have problems that the child doesn't
- 56:01actually have and they do unnecessary medical
- 56:03interventions. In the extreme liposuction
- 56:06example, what if there was a parent and the child initiated
- 56:09it and said, I'm, I'm basically an anorexic, I want liposuction.
- 56:13And the parent was like, OK, sure.
- 56:14And let's say the medical system was like, let's do whatever the
- 56:17parent wants, whatever the kid wants.
- 56:18It's fully their consent. So they go in for it.
- 56:20And this obviously is like damaging to the child, could
- 56:23even kill the child eventually. Yeah, I guess it's back to the
- 56:27line drawn. Would you draw a line there, or
- 56:29would you say, yeah, that the parent and the child really want
- 56:31it together, we got to respect it, and there should be no laws,
- 56:35like God forbid the law gets involved here.
- 56:42I don't. I haven't really thought about
- 56:44it and this is a good opportunity for me to go and
- 56:48think about. It pretend this is a Miss USA
- 56:50question for us Hilton. Let's go.
- 56:51You got 30 seconds. Let's go for the crown.
- 56:53Win this crown, baby. I don't think that the
- 56:56government should be telling parents how to parent.
- 56:59Ever. But I mean there's, I mean,
- 57:01there's certainly. I mean there.
- 57:03Are certain standards like? There's certain standards like
- 57:06you, your child has to go to school.
- 57:08But you know, for example, something like, you know,
- 57:12doctors might all say that you know your, your child if they
- 57:18get more than 10 hours of sleep a night.
- 57:22That's ideal for a young child. But then a parent, there are
- 57:26parents out there, oh, we don't give our kids bedtime and we
- 57:29home school and they go to sleep whenever they want.
- 57:32Like I don't believe the government should say, well, no,
- 57:36you're all children should be in bed by a certain time because
- 57:39that's what the, you know, studies say is best for a child.
- 57:43You know, live and let live. What's right for me may not be
- 57:48right for you. What's right for you may not be
- 57:49right for me. I think you're right that
- 57:53there's a lot of grey area in the world of parenting for sure
- 57:56about preferences like Co sleeping and breastfeeding and
- 58:00you know, parent dental like there's a whole world.
- 58:02But then there are bright lines that are established, often
- 58:04having to do with fundamental rights of the child's, like the
- 58:07child's fundamental right to, you know, nutrition, shelter,
- 58:12you know, to be given an education, things like that,
- 58:15right. And then there's.
- 58:16Also, even something as small, even something as small as like
- 58:20some parents might let their child watch television 6 hours a
- 58:24day and there are some or 8 hours a day and then there's and
- 58:28play video games. And there are some parents who
- 58:30might judge those parents and think if you're letting your
- 58:32child watch TV and play video games for 8 hours a day, that's
- 58:36child abuse. No child should be playing video
- 58:38games and watching TV for 8 hours a day.
- 58:41And it just goes back to what I said.
- 58:43I don't do that with my kids. I don't let them have that much
- 58:46screen time. But I'm not going to try to like
- 58:49make it illegal for for another parent to do that, or or in any
- 58:53kind of. Way like that.
- 58:57Yeah, I think with medical interventions, there's there,
- 59:00there you can, by the way, you can get legally docked.
- 59:03You can get in legal trouble for child neglect.
- 59:06The standard for that obviously has a lot to do with food,
- 59:09shelter, nutrition. So it's an interesting question
- 59:12of, you know, if, if a child was, say, was physically plugged
- 59:15into a, you know, effectively plugged into a screen for 10
- 59:18hours a day, could you make a case over a period of time?
- 59:22And let's say, you know, this was done intentionally by the
- 59:24parent or even unintentionally, but could you make a case for
- 59:27that being an issue, a legal issue even?
- 59:30I think that's an interesting question, but there are clear
- 59:33parameters around, you know, parenting today where you can go
- 59:37to jail for child abuse or child neglect.
- 59:39You can be penalized for those things.
- 59:42And, you know, I think we're talking about the trans issue in
- 59:45that situation. You know, I, I had Chloe Cole on
- 59:48the show, people know doubled mastectomy at age 15.
- 59:51And she says her parents are not to blame.
- 59:54It's the medical system because they, they were told by the,
- 59:56the, the experts, you have to do this or she's going to die.
- 1:00:00So they were doing the best they could, right, with our crazy
- 1:00:02medical system. But she's furious.
- 1:00:05Because she doesn't have her breasts and that that those are
- 1:00:07removed from her body as a minor, right?
- 1:00:10So the conversation today is, is this okay to be allowing?
- 1:00:14Whether it's the parent or the doctors doesn't matter to be
- 1:00:17doing this to children, right? And then there's a foundational
- 1:00:20question we're exploring of do children deserve a mother and a
- 1:00:23father? Should the legal system be set
- 1:00:24up to honor those families? And if there are people in same
- 1:00:29sex relationships who want visiting privileges at a
- 1:00:31hospital or something like that, that's a is a separate question
- 1:00:34than involving the kids. Carrie, did you have a follow up
- 1:00:37question? And then Perez, do you have
- 1:00:39further questions? I have to be honest and it's sad
- 1:00:44that the bigger picture, you know, my interpretation is that
- 1:00:54a lot of people use religion to discriminate.
- 1:01:02And that just makes me sad personally.
- 1:01:09I, I, I, I wish that everybody naively, you know, the older
- 1:01:15I've gotten, the more I've truly, sincerely just want to
- 1:01:18live in peace with everybody and view my neighbor as my friend
- 1:01:23and not my enemy. And you know, like, like I said,
- 1:01:31if if you don't agree with somebody's choices, don't make
- 1:01:36those choices. Don't you think that there's
- 1:01:40laws put in place? I mean, obviously we have, you
- 1:01:43know, do not murder, do not steal.
- 1:01:44We have laws that are put in place for the betterment of
- 1:01:47society. Don't you think that there is
- 1:01:50certain laws that are in place that protect human life?
- 1:01:54I mean, don't you agree with that?
- 1:01:56I don't think that's a religious thing.
- 1:01:57I think that's just a societal norm that we have, which is a
- 1:02:01good thing. Don't you?
- 1:02:01Well. Actually, yes, but you know,
- 1:02:08there are some religious people who was that even even somebody
- 1:02:15affiliated with maybe that Project 2025 or I forget, but
- 1:02:20there are some, I'm trying to remember who it was.
- 1:02:22But there are some religious people who are against fertility
- 1:02:27treatments for, for heterosexual couples, IVF, you know, they're
- 1:02:31like, oh, if God did not want you to have a child, you should
- 1:02:34not have a child. I'm curious, what do you what do
- 1:02:37you both think about that? I think the the framing there is
- 1:02:40is incorrect and you're right that we are.
- 1:02:43And I think again it you can be Catholic, you could be Baptist.
- 1:02:47Both of them are opposed to certain reproductive
- 1:02:49technologies that violate a certain natural order that
- 1:02:52they're safeguarding both the child and society.
- 1:02:55And I can I'll explain that briefly in a second, but it can
- 1:02:58be anyone's view again, because this is certainly the teaching
- 1:03:02of the Catholic Church or the Baptist denomination or this
- 1:03:04maybe Evangelical church. But it's also something that you
- 1:03:07can discern separate from a religious divine revelation
- 1:03:10paradigm looking at the natural order.
- 1:03:12And the reality is with IVF, so in vitro fertilization, when you
- 1:03:17do IVF, you're taking lovemaking out of the equation, right?
- 1:03:20There's no longer one man and woman together, coming together
- 1:03:22and having sex, sexual intercourse.
- 1:03:24You're doing this test tube creation of a new life, right?
- 1:03:28And so automatically there you're breaking a natural order.
- 1:03:30But then it goes a step further where there's a high risk to the
- 1:03:34child because typically an IVF, you have to create maybe 10-12
- 1:03:39embryos. Usually only one or two are
- 1:03:41selected. They're graded.
- 1:03:43And these are new individual human lives.
- 1:03:45These aren't just like pieces of building blocks for human life.
- 1:03:47They're individual little boys and girls, tiny, right, And
- 1:03:51they're left to be frozen. There's a million frozen embryos
- 1:03:54right now in America. They're often destroyed.
- 1:03:56Oh, we don't want them. You can destroy them or we're
- 1:03:59going to donate them to research, which is destroying
- 1:04:01them. Let's manipulate them until they
- 1:04:02die for our research purposes. Or there's a high rate of
- 1:04:06miscarriage because they're implanted and then there's a
- 1:04:09high rate of miscarriage because this is a very dangerous for the
- 1:04:11child. So all things considered there,
- 1:04:13there's a there's a lot of danger to the child.
- 1:04:15I understood so because of that belief of yours, which I I My
- 1:04:21understanding is that belief is informed by your.
- 1:04:25I don't even care what it's informed by how you got to it.
- 1:04:27Well, it's a danger. It's not my belief that it's
- 1:04:30dangerous for the child. So my my question is, because
- 1:04:33you believe that, do you believe that IVF for heterosex for all
- 1:04:37people, gay couples, heterosexual couples, do you
- 1:04:39believe that it should be illegal?
- 1:04:41I think it should not be a practice.
- 1:04:42And yeah, I I don't think it should be legal to be creating
- 1:04:45life in test tubes. I think it's very dangerous and
- 1:04:48it and it's proven dangerous because a million children who
- 1:04:52have the right to live are being frozen right now and millions
- 1:04:56more, potentially more than are aborted via typical abortion are
- 1:04:59being killed via IVF. So it.
- 1:05:00Here's another. Completely damaging to the
- 1:05:02sanctity of that human life and the the rights of that human
- 1:05:05life. One more question, sorry, and
- 1:05:08then I do have to go. That was good.
- 1:05:10I had a. Flashback of something that I
- 1:05:12remembered in in Jesuit school for seven years, the Pope,
- 1:05:18Catholics, or at least you know, back in the 80s and 90s and
- 1:05:23early 2000, well 80s and 90's, the Catholic Church used to
- 1:05:26believe that the Pope would speak directly to God.
- 1:05:30And there's even like a name for it.
- 1:05:32Like basically if the Pope says that it's true, do you agree
- 1:05:36with? Cathedra.
- 1:05:37Is that? Is that what it's called?
- 1:05:38Talking the Pope, you're speaking about the Pope's
- 1:05:41ability as Pope to speak infallibly on matters of faith
- 1:05:45and morals. That's binding for the whole
- 1:05:47church, So it becomes part of the magisterium.
- 1:05:49This is not to be confused with the Pope just saying something
- 1:05:52because the Pope can do media interviews, have personal
- 1:05:54commentary, even give a homily. And that's not necessarily
- 1:05:57binding for the whole church because it's not a specific
- 1:06:01format that says this is this is like the magisterium.
- 1:06:04This is me speaking infallibly. So that's why you've had you've
- 1:06:07had popes who've been total screw ups.
- 1:06:10I mean, most of our popes have been really good.
- 1:06:11Thanks be to God. There have been some total screw
- 1:06:13ups in our history. That doesn't mean everything
- 1:06:15they say and do is infallible. It has to be in a specific
- 1:06:18format that the Holy Spirit is is given to the church to guide
- 1:06:21it. This Pope and I think the last
- 1:06:23Pope, both of the most 2 recent popes have been critical of
- 1:06:28Donald Trump's positions on on immigrants.
- 1:06:34As a Catholic, then, do you do you feel like you have to agree
- 1:06:39with the Pope or do you just or you disagree with the Pope?
- 1:06:42I'm curious about that. I mean, I'll, I'll share and
- 1:06:45then you may have a take on this.
- 1:06:46I think first of all, I have disagreements and I've been very
- 1:06:50vocal about them with many things that President Trump has
- 1:06:53said and done. So I don't know if you know
- 1:06:55this, but I was one of the people last year before the
- 1:06:57election who was my had my own version of being dragged online
- 1:07:01because I was outspoken about him not being as pro-life as he
- 1:07:05should in his public policy and him promoting IVF, in vitro
- 1:07:10fertilization. So that's been another concern
- 1:07:12that we've had to go back and forth on.
- 1:07:13So I personally do not stand by everything President Trump's has
- 1:07:16said or done. Think there's some good things.
- 1:07:17I think there's some bad things on immigration.
- 1:07:19It's very clear the church's teachings about the rights of
- 1:07:22immigrants to seek a better life, but also the rights of
- 1:07:25nations to have borders. So there's when there's two
- 1:07:27rights that might seem in conflict, that comes a question
- 1:07:29of identifying, OK, how are they in conflict?
- 1:07:32Where does, where does my right to a border exist?
- 1:07:35And then I can seek a good life as an immigrant, but I can't
- 1:07:37violate a nation's sovereign sovereignty.
- 1:07:40So there's all of these questions.
- 1:07:41I think what they're speaking to, if I'm understanding your,
- 1:07:44your, your point here correctly and, and what you're referring
- 1:07:47to, and I've seen the comments from Pope Leo, for example,
- 1:07:49about immigration, is even when you're enforcing immigration
- 1:07:52law, like a deportation, you still have to treat the person
- 1:07:56you're deporting or putting in prison, whatever it is with
- 1:07:58dignity. You, you don't have the right to
- 1:08:00treat them poorly. You don't have the right to
- 1:08:02treat them inhumanely. You have to treat them with
- 1:08:04dignity, even if you are deporting them.
- 1:08:06And so he's not saying you don't have the right to deport of the
- 1:08:09country. He's saying you have to do this
- 1:08:11with dignity and respect and rule of law.
- 1:08:13And that I agree with 100%. That would have been a perfect
- 1:08:18Miss USA answer. Gosh, what would you have voted
- 1:08:20her for that Perez 0? It no.
- 1:08:24It depends on who. It depends who the other
- 1:08:27contestants were at that time. I take judging seriously, but
- 1:08:32just I know. You do ASD was here.
- 1:08:34Would she win instead of me? Well, gorgeous, I appreciate you
- 1:08:39having me on and. Wait, I have one last question
- 1:08:42and then I'll let you go. Come on.
- 1:08:44Is that OK? OK.
- 1:08:45Will you publicly say that men should not be in women's sports
- 1:08:50'cause I know you have common sense?
- 1:08:51I've said that I would love to get that public.
- 1:08:54I've said that before, like I'm not afraid of speaking my
- 1:08:57thoughts, but I also said. Before.
- 1:09:00Yeah, but I also said what? Is your belief on that?
- 1:09:03I've said mostly that my, I'm very, I'm very consistent.
- 1:09:11What I've said repeatedly is personally, I don't believe that
- 1:09:16somebody who was born a male like that one college swimmer
- 1:09:19should be competing against people who were born female.
- 1:09:23However, I've I've said I believe that I keep my opinion
- 1:09:28out of it. It should really be up to the
- 1:09:29the athletes, like all of the athletic bodies should determine
- 1:09:33what they think is best for themselves.
- 1:09:35So if college swimmers think that that's acceptable, OK,
- 1:09:38that's what all the college swimmers decided, if you know, I
- 1:09:43guess. Would you want your daughter
- 1:09:44competing against some big dude? Tell the truth.
- 1:09:50If she had no problem with it, I don't care.
- 1:09:52It's not like I said. Like I'm always happy to lose.
- 1:09:56I know that's not your real answer, no.
- 1:09:58It is, I said. I think all the all the all the
- 1:10:01organizations should decide for themselves.
- 1:10:04If there's a bunch of the other people who are like, I don't
- 1:10:07want to look weird, yeah, sure, he can compete with us, the
- 1:10:10other gals. But there's the one gal who's
- 1:10:12like, it's not fair. Yeah, what should happen in that
- 1:10:14situation? They disagree.
- 1:10:19It sucks, but if that's what the majority of the other swimmers
- 1:10:21agree with, then you know that's the majority of the swimmers
- 1:10:25agreed I believe. That's what we had in California
- 1:10:29with gay marriage, but look what happened there.
- 1:10:32So your standard is not consistent.
- 1:10:34Thankfully, that only lasted for a couple of years and then
- 1:10:37eventually within a few years of 2008, same sex marriage was
- 1:10:41legalized in California. So, you know, like even the
- 1:10:46governor of California even recently, I pay attention to
- 1:10:50everything he. Said you like him.
- 1:10:53Not really. I don't like him.
- 1:10:55I don't. See, we have another thing in
- 1:10:56common. Yeah, he, he even recently on
- 1:11:00his podcast said that, you know, boys compete.
- 1:11:05Competing as boys should not be competing against girls or boys
- 1:11:11who were born boys should not be competing against girls.
- 1:11:14I'll just end it on this. Like I know with every fiber of
- 1:11:17my being that my children are happy and that I'm a great
- 1:11:22father. I am I the bar.
- 1:11:26One of the reasons I'm a great father is because I always feel
- 1:11:28like a failure every single day. Like I put the bar so high that
- 1:11:32I constantly am not achieving it.
- 1:11:35It's like, oh, I could have done this better or I could have done
- 1:11:37more of this. I whatever, but but I know that
- 1:11:41my kids are thriving. They are good.
- 1:11:45They're way better kids than I was, actually.
- 1:11:47And that's the goal, to create little humans who are better in
- 1:11:51every way than you were. And they are that.
- 1:11:54And yeah, you know, thanks for having me on.
- 1:12:01Thank you, Perez, I can't thank you enough for your willingness
- 1:12:03to come on and just go out, go out the discussion.
- 1:12:06Carrie, thank you. I think this was fun.
- 1:12:08I really appreciate everyone's time.
- 1:12:10We should do this again, but thanks again, Perez and Carrie.
- 1:12:12Thank you. Thanks so much everyone for
- 1:12:15listening to this episode with Perez and Carrie.
- 1:12:17I think I'm going to try to do more content like this to get
- 1:12:19different viewpoints on the show, to have a discussion, not
- 1:12:23some formal debate structure. I do love those as well.
- 1:12:25And we do those a lot on college campuses and things like that.
- 1:12:27But I think in this context, just having heart to hearts
- 1:12:29where people can ask each other questions and explore
- 1:12:32differences on these crucial moral, political, cultural
- 1:12:36issues, I think of so much value.
- 1:12:37I'm actually going to continue the conversation with Carrie and
- 1:12:40just do a little bit of a debrief together.
- 1:12:42We're going to do that over on Patreon.
- 1:12:44A huge thank you to everybody who's been supporting the show
- 1:12:46via Patreon. Every time you support Patreon,
- 1:12:49you help our show grow and reach more people, and I'm so grateful
- 1:12:52for that. You can go over and become a
- 1:12:54supporter at the link in the description.
- 1:12:56You'll get ad free episodes and bonus content, and also the
- 1:12:59opportunity to ask feature guests questions that we put in
- 1:13:02there. So we'll take Patreon questions.
- 1:13:04Thank you all so much and we'll see you next time.
- 1:13:06A huge thank you to our partner EWTN, the largest religious
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- 1:13:15You can watch new episodes of the Lila Rose Show 24 hours
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