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The Ghillie Suit (Chapter 2) · The Apocalypse Will Be Podcasted

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Hello, and this is the Apocalypse Will Be Podcasted.
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We are a married couple from Atlanta with boring
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day jobs. We have been together 12 years, and
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we usually create a lot of weird performance
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art to entertain people. But we are trying our
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hand at having a podcast because we have had
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an obsession lately, and that obsession is Dungeon
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Crawler Carl. This is a spoilers podcast, and
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we will be discussing plot points from all seven
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Dungeon Crawler Carl books. You should not start
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this podcast until you have finished book seven.
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We will not be discussing anything from Patreon
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or the Pineapple Cabaret. There are spoilers
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from this point forward. Be warned. Hello, and
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today we are talking about chapter two of This
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Inevitable Ruin, and this is going to be the
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sixth episode of the podcast for us. And I'm
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really excited about this episode because this
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chapter is a pretty typical So Mordecai, Donut,
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and Carl are in the safe room going over their
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new achievements and their loot boxes. And I
1:06
think it has a lot of great stuff that I'm excited
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to talk about today. I know. I'm really, really
1:11
happy to be doing this episode today, especially
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because we get to hear some of the fantastic
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descriptions of achievements from the system
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AI. Yeah, we got some unhinged shit happening
1:23
today. So let's get into it. We really do. So
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we're going to be starting out with some. sass
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from princess donut you know i hate tassels carl
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she absolutely does hate tassels we didn't know
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this before but it totally tracks for donut yeah
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and i'm sorry i know i promised i wouldn't try
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to do voices until we had a more established
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fan base but i cannot help myself yeah it's just
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gonna happen um no i love that with the ghillie
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suit she says that it looks like one of signet's
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tattoo people fell into a paper shredder that's
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amazing It is. But the ghillie suit is a really,
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really powerful item that does a lot later on
2:02
in the book, even though it probably does make
2:04
her look really ridiculous. She does have a legitimately
2:08
upsetting amount of items now. She does. I kind
2:11
of want to see a rendering of what she looks
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like with all of her gear on, maybe minus the
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ghillie suit, because that would cover everything
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up, like the crupper, the cloak, hat, tiara,
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glasses, everything. I don't know. I have had
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a lot of fun imagining my cats wearing ghillie
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suits, though. I think it would be very cute.
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It would be. So she gets that ghillie suit, which
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adds a lot of strength to her spells. She also
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gets the boonie hat, which she doesn't like beige
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color items as a rule, but... Extra floppy. Yeah,
2:42
extra floppy is very good. She literally says,
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I do like floppy, which I enjoyed a lot. Just
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a great sentence. The ghillie suit that she gets
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does... take up a jacket slot and it allows her
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to blend into the background and gives her the
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cone of silence benefit so it just makes her
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a lot stealthier the boonie hat gives her a targeting
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skill where she can zoom in and examine mobs
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from super far away it gives her increased range
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on her spells more than they already were buffed
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and then what if she combines the ghillie suit
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and the hat what happens then yeah it buffs the
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skills even more and it is interesting just because
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The way that some of these items are slotted,
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I wouldn't have expected. So she can just kind
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of keep adding stuff on. And I mean, it's also
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just funny because the way that Kat's anatomy
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is is different than human anatomy, where all
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this stuff is actually going on her back. Pretty
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much. Yeah, it's all just kind of sitting on
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her back. Thank God she's really strong. Otherwise,
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it might weigh her down. So with all these added
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range and everything to her spells, Carl makes
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the comment that she'd be able to snipe line
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of sight enemies from a mile away, which is kind
3:56
of terrifying. But he knows that the enemies
4:00
also have access to this kind of, you know, enhanced
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weaponry. They do. And that's important to keep
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in mind is that whatever they have is kind of
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scraps compared to what some of the hunters have.
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I mean, I think overall. The crawlers in a lot
4:16
of ways are a lot more powerful than a lot of
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the warlords and enemies that they're facing.
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Just, you know, usually in other seasons of faction
4:24
wars, the crawlers are just so outnumbered that
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even if they are really powerful individually,
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they don't have the combined strength as far
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as like numbers go. It's a huge benefit that
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they can work together as a team towards a common
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goal as opposed to in most seasons. I just don't
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see, besides maybe personally leveling up or
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this, you know, promise of maybe you can get
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a job somewhere where crawlers would be super
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motivated to be really successful in the Fraction
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Wars. They also get Quan's cloak from the end
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of the Eye of the Bedlam Bride, and they decide
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that Dona is going to wear that because it's
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going to be better for her and her kind of spell
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set that she has. That is going to be gone over
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in a lot more detail in the next chapter. They
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just kind of say that that's what's going to
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happen with the cloak. They also give some background
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information into what the cloak was like when
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Quan had it. The other great thing that she gets
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in this chapter is the flak anti -air spell.
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And when we were first going through this, we
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were like, does she ever end up using that spell?
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Like, I kind of feel like it's just mentioned
5:33
here and then never comes up again. but she does
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actually use it. It's just kind of more of a
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passive thing. When she's in the tower, she does
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kind of just have it activated and it ends up
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diverting a lot of the fire that's coming her
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way. Yeah, I was the same thing with the invisibility.
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When I was reading it, I wasn't sure if she ever
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used it, but once I looked it up, she definitely
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does. Yeah, some of these things are just kind
5:54
of passive spells to an extent that aren't playing
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like a super active role, but they are being
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used and utilized. I also think when you're reading,
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you're not like, she can be invisible. When is
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she going to go invisible? Like, it's not something
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that just, you know, is like super exciting.
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Like, oh, right. I've been waiting for her to
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use that since chapter two. You know what I mean?
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Oh, my God. The flax spell. It's happening. It's
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happening. It's finally happening. Now, I think
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the only spell that I was like. Okay, and like
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really waiting for them to use was the Run Gunter
6:28
Run, which we are going to talk about so much
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later on. Oh my god, Gunter, little Gunter. Also,
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Wall of Fire. Something I want to talk about
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here is the kind of concept of power creep, which
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happens in a lot of MMOs and video games that
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have been along for a very long time, where they
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add more and more powerful items to kind of keep
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the game interesting as it goes on longer. And
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at a certain point, it can kind of make things
6:52
too easy. That's not necessarily what's going
6:55
to happen in the dungeon because the floors do
6:57
get harder and harder and harder as they go on.
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But like with the invisibility spell that donut
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gets here, it's just kind of like, oh, yeah,
7:05
OK, cool. Whereas, you know, went back when she
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got hover, it was like, oh, my God, look, guys,
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I can hover now. You want to see me hover? I'm
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going to do it over here. I'm going to do it
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over there. And at this point, they're just becoming
7:15
so powerful that even when they get some like
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really, really insanely powerful items, it's
7:20
just kind of like, oh, cool, that's going to
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be helpful. I think they also have some trauma
7:23
response of there's so many other things going
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on and they've seen so many horrible things lately.
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And like Carl is saying at the beginning of the
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chapter, they're just so happy that the pulling
7:35
up into the sky maneuvers work at the end of
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the episode that I just don't think they have
7:40
the brain space to be excited about a lot of
7:41
this stuff. Yeah, I think that's definitely a
7:44
component of it as well. Before we go into this
7:47
section, we want to be clear that we love. Canadians
7:51
absolutely we go to hostels internationally a
7:54
lot and we love meeting up with Canadians and
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going on adventures with them it's one of our
7:59
favorite pastimes with that said when we find
8:02
out that Mordecai is Canadian and Donut and Carl
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lose their mind over this and just crack up laughing
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at him the description that the AI gives of Mordecai
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is pretty funny I think that it wouldn't have
8:16
been nearly so bad if they had not given him
8:19
a raccoon skin cap. Definitely. So it gives the
8:23
long description about him talking about how
8:26
if they say a boot, they will be really offended
8:29
if you call them out on it. Which I do have a
8:32
funny story about that. So I used to work in
8:35
a call center that was only for the U .S., but
8:37
sometimes we would accidentally get Canadians
8:40
transferred over. And I did know if I was talking
8:44
to a Canadian, if they said a boot. And we would
8:47
just be talking and they're like, hi, I'm calling
8:49
a boot, my credit card processing machine. And
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I'd be like, oh, I'm sorry. I think you actually
8:53
need to get transferred to the Canadian line.
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And they'd be like, well, how'd you know? And
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I'd be like, you said a boot. Or that if they
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were really, really, really nice compared to
9:04
all the other people that would call into the
9:05
center, that was another giveaway for you. Yeah,
9:08
but that would make me. suspected and like maybe
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i'd ask i wouldn't just assume that the super
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nice people were from canada sometimes they were
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also from minnesota minnesota as well so his
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relative was trampled to death by a moose and
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brie also has a great story about that i do have
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a story about that where i actually have a cousin
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who was killed by a cow and i am very much the
9:33
city cousin in my family But I joke around sometimes
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that my family is I have a cousin who got killed
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by a cow type of country. Absolutely. All right.
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So Mordecai is obsessed with potions and he has
9:49
the new upgrade where he can actually examine
9:53
potions and see how they're made, which is a
9:55
great skill for him to have. This is going to
9:58
help them out so much. Yeah, he geeks out over
10:02
it really hard and is like, I'll be right back.
10:05
I have to go look at this right now. Basically
10:08
the equivalent of I'll be in my bunk. It was
10:11
a very I'll be in my bunk moment. Absolutely.
10:14
There's a glitter potion now. They talk about,
10:17
again, the different ways that the ceasefire
10:19
can end. They give a couple of other scenarios
10:23
that are on top of what Cascadia announces in
10:27
chapter one. And this is, I think, just more
10:30
foreshadowing, waving a big flag around. Yeah,
10:33
they are definitely hammering this point home.
10:35
Absolutely. We find out that poor Mongo, his
10:40
wing is still missing and he's hurt. He's going
10:43
around waving his one good wing. And I think
10:45
he's taking it really well. He's taking it better
10:48
than Carl is. And better than Donut is. He seems
10:52
to not mind too much, but they're going to give
10:54
him a potion that's going to heal that. And they
10:57
mentioned that there is a heal severe injury
10:59
potion that they get. And Mordecai's like, yeah,
11:02
normally you need 33 fine healing potions to
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make this. And Carl says that he, you know, when
11:08
he was in the Shemaria state that he just kind
11:10
of combined three together. And he's going to
11:13
look and see if he can find out how he did that.
11:16
I'm not sure that he. Does? I don't know if that
11:20
comes back up later. Well, he was too busy to
11:23
read his notifications, so I think it's fair
11:25
to say that he's too busy to look into the potions
11:27
recipes. Right. They mention again that it seems
11:31
like Mordecai might like potions more than them.
11:34
Oh no. Oh no. They also say that they got too
11:39
many boxes and too much stuff to list it all
11:42
out, which I think is for the best. But there
11:45
are some really awesome achievements and we want
11:47
to go. through pretty much all of them. The first
11:51
one that was quite amusing to me was the stretching
11:55
achievement for Carl putting a bunch of stuff
11:59
into Samantha's Nussie. That's quite a voice
12:02
you did there. Okay, new achievement, Lord of
12:05
the Flies, which I will be the first to admit
12:07
I have not read Lord of the Flies since high
12:09
school and I don't really have any burning desire
12:12
to ever read it again. But the AI says social
12:15
structures are breaking down. People are starting
12:17
to fight. The next thing you know, someone is
12:19
going to nickname you Piggy and bring you to
12:22
death with a rock. And this is because of the
12:25
trap Carl set for another player to teleport
12:28
away from the capital. The box that Carl gets
12:30
for this is the I have the conch box. And I think
12:34
that might be a reference to a SpongeBob episode
12:37
where they have a magic conch and they're basically
12:40
saying. I have the magic conch. I have the magic
12:43
conch. I don't know if that's a reference. No,
12:46
no, no. It's from Lord of the Flies. I think
12:49
they get a conch in the Lord of the Flies and
12:52
that makes them like the ruler of the island.
12:53
Well, maybe that's what the Spongebob episode
12:57
is referencing then, which if so, it's interesting.
13:00
I just think that Spongebob is not as deep as
13:03
people think it is. I'm sorry. That's my hot
13:05
take as a millennial. Boo. I know. The next achievement
13:10
that Carl gets is the demons hate this one trick,
13:13
which happened from teleporting all of the demons
13:15
from the beach. And the fantastic award that
13:19
he gets is the option for all of his food boxes
13:22
to have the pea soup upgraded to them. Which
13:27
that is an exorcist reference. The food box upgrades.
13:31
He's going to get a couple more of these. He
13:33
gets one more in this chapter and then another
13:35
one later in the series. We find out that these
13:38
food box upgrade options are not actually optional.
13:41
And by the end of the book, the food that's coming
13:44
out is terrible. Just absolutely terrible. But
13:49
he has to eat the food from his food box because
13:51
it gives him buffs. It's so gross that Katya
13:54
uses it to be fake intestines, I believe. So
13:57
we've got a chicken shit exploit and this has
13:59
a fantastic description where they talk about
14:02
that guy at Dungeons and Dragons who... It's
14:05
pedantic about all of the rules. I just love
14:09
the end. And he's like, well, this guy is not
14:11
you. That guy hates you. If you were a product,
14:14
he'd be giving you a nerd rage induced one star
14:16
review right now. And the image that I have in
14:19
my head is the gamer guy from the World of Warcraft
14:22
episode of South Park. He gets this achievement
14:26
for breaking a very carefully built game system.
14:30
So the AI says, I cast some doubt on that description.
14:34
Yeah, the entire game system of the eighth floor
14:38
is very confusing and maybe has some inconsistencies.
14:42
I wouldn't say it's very confusing. I would just
14:45
say that the AI is definitely not meticulously
14:49
crafting things. And I think even the AI knows
14:53
that. So this is a little bit bullshit. But the
14:55
AI is not the one who designed the floor. Someone
14:57
else designed it. Someone else does design the
15:00
floor, but the AI makes the rules, and the rules
15:02
are definitely not as carefully crafted as the
15:04
AI is implying here. The AI is an unreliable
15:07
narrator. He is. He claims to be a stickler for
15:10
the rules, but also likes to bend the rules so
15:14
that they're entertaining. That's actually, I
15:16
think, what the AI likes about Carl. All right,
15:18
he does, because Carl is a very entertaining
15:20
person and likes to break things. The loot box
15:24
that he gets from this is the... Sarindalgore
15:27
box, which is just kind of a dick move. And that
15:32
chapter made me cry quite a lot. I was sobbing.
15:36
Sobbing in the middle of a camping festival with
15:38
a lot of people watching while you were listening
15:40
to it in the car. Fine. It's fine. The next achievement
15:45
he gets is for picking up celestial loot off
15:47
the ground. He gets a punch card with one punch
15:50
and he gets something cool when he does it four
15:53
more times. I really want to know what that is.
15:56
What's the next point? I will say, as someone
15:59
who owns several rescue cats, that this unhinged
16:04
rant by the AI is the most upsetting things in
16:08
the book, and I am not engaging with or discussing
16:10
it. That is totally fair. There are a couple
16:14
of things that I want to discuss from it without
16:15
getting into what he was actually saying. So
16:18
he mentions, he's like, I really need to stop
16:20
watching these memory recordings. It's interesting
16:23
to think about, you know, that he's got this
16:26
spare time to go and just like look at random
16:29
memory recordings, which is interesting. But
16:32
like he can do a million different things at
16:34
once. That kind of makes sense. He also makes
16:38
the comment that his feelings on this matter
16:40
are very confusing, especially when said pets
16:42
are delicious or squishable. Is the AI eating
16:46
pets? We do know that he likes to give Carl things
16:49
to squish, though. And Carl is like, you know,
16:52
normally the AI has some kind of coherent point,
16:56
even when he's just kind of rambling and being
16:59
crazy. And this one just kind of didn't go anywhere.
17:03
But Carl knows to not comment on that out loud.
17:07
Yeah, but he says it's extra unhinged. It is.
17:10
And where my mind goes right now is I kind of
17:13
want to know what are the achievement and descriptions
17:17
that other crawlers are getting like? Are they
17:20
on this kind of same level of unhinged as what
17:23
Carl gets? Or is he getting these special descriptions
17:27
and announcements and stuff because the AI is
17:30
so obsessed with him? Agreed. I would love to
17:32
hear other people's. I would love to hear Ellie's.
17:34
I would love to hear Donut's. I would love to
17:36
hear Imani's. But unfortunately, we haven't gotten
17:38
that yet. Yeah. And like Donut will sometimes
17:40
be like, well, I just got a very rude achievement,
17:43
but I want to know what it actually says. Yeah,
17:45
definitely. Interestingly, there was also a warning
17:49
about sentient weapons, and that will come back
17:53
later. It is. They mentioned that there's only
17:56
two crawlers in the top 50 that use sentient
17:59
weapons. It's hypothesized by Mordecai that Florin's
18:04
shotgun might be sentient, and this will definitely
18:07
come up later in the books, I'm sure. And maybe
18:10
that's going to be explored in the graphic novel
18:12
that's coming out about Florin. I am excited
18:16
for that. Yeah, very excited. We ordered it.
18:18
It's going to be getting here soon. It may be
18:21
about two years. Actually, I think we are expected
18:23
to receive that in about two years. Oh, I see.
18:26
Don't worry. We will cover it when we get there.
18:28
Absolutely. This is going to go on for 10, 15,
18:32
maybe 20 years, I would expect. Oh, gosh, that's
18:34
a lot. We do have new books and TV shows coming,
18:37
which I do want to say we do have a date now
18:41
for book eight. Unless we start doing several
18:43
chapters of book seven at once, we are not going
18:46
to be done with seven by the time that we reach
18:49
eight. But we will either switch over to recording
18:53
episodes on book eight or we will be doing chapters
18:57
on seven and eight simultaneously. Let's see
19:01
how good we get at podcasting. Yeah. And with
19:03
the existing content throughout all the books,
19:06
we did the math and there was about six years
19:08
of content doing one chapter per week. So this
19:12
can just kind of keep going and going. So Carl
19:15
gets his celestial box here and the achievement
19:18
is for Touched by a Demon. And it's because he's
19:21
the only person who has ever been touched by
19:23
a Prince of Sheol and lived to tell the tale.
19:25
Yeah, absolutely. And I love how many things
19:29
happen in these book series. for the first time
19:33
in the entire history of Faction Wars, which
19:36
is just kind of crazy to fathom because Faction
19:39
Wars has been going on for thousands and thousands
19:42
of years. The next achievement he gets is crab
19:46
chowder. You jerked off a crab. You need therapy.
19:50
And Carl's just like, what? I didn't do that.
19:53
And this is yet another food box upgrade he gets
19:56
for all this food to come out chowder style.
19:58
And all these food box upgrades. end up not being
20:02
optional. Not being upgrades. Not being upgrades
20:05
at all. I do absolutely love this achievement
20:09
because all of the hardback books underneath
20:12
the paper cover have special little messages
20:15
on them. And when I was going through reading
20:16
all of them, I opened it up for Eye of the Bedlam
20:19
Bride and it just says, I need a baby seal. I
20:23
started just laughing uncontrollably for a couple
20:26
minutes. And there's also some great merch available.
20:29
Bree got me. Yeah. So because of that, I did
20:33
get you the I Need a Baby Seal shirt, which has
20:35
a adorable little seal on it. And I just want
20:38
to plug you should buy the Penguin books and
20:42
you should also get some official merch. I love
20:44
wearing that shirt around because it just has
20:46
this little cute baby seal on it. And I love
20:49
the idea of people being like, oh, yeah, baby
20:51
seals are so cute. And I'm like, mwahaha, you
20:53
do not know the meaning of this shirt. So far,
20:56
no one's questioned you. So far, nobody has commented
20:58
on it, which is. setting comment on my shirt
21:02
okay so on to the unbirthing achievement you
21:04
want to talk about it or you want me to talk
21:06
about it i think you should talk about it okay
21:08
so he gets the unbirthing achievement for teleporting
21:11
into samantha's neck hole and i'm not going to
21:15
talk about the unbirthing that the ai mentions
21:19
don't google it but the ai is like i really like
21:23
that you are in fucking trouble. And that gives
21:26
a lot of concern. Carl's not really happy to
21:29
hear that. And I am. I don't know if I'd say
21:33
I'm looking forward to, but I'm curious to see
21:36
how that's going to come back around to bite
21:38
Carl in the ass later. I am sympathetic to Carl's
21:41
sentiments. Yeah. Poor Carl. Poor Carl being
21:45
plagued by the dungeon's fetishes and kinks.
21:49
Anyhow, what's going on with the Embrace quest?
21:53
So Embrace gives Carl the quest of finding out
21:57
who killed his son. And this is a fun quest.
22:00
And I look forward to talking about how it plays
22:03
out. Yeah, so Carl's told that he needs to go
22:06
into Club Vanquisher and talk to the High Cleric
22:07
to break the truth so that Embrace can kill Amayon's
22:11
three brothers. With this quest update, Carl
22:14
is very relieved to know that he is not personally
22:18
being tasked with killing Amayon's three brothers.
22:21
But this quest does go very much so off the rails
22:25
at the end of the book. One of my favorite parts.
22:28
It is definitely kind of screws up their plans
22:30
for how the floor is going to end. So this episode
22:33
was a bit shorter than we thought it was going
22:36
to be. But we look forward to having you join
22:38
us next week where we learn all about Donut's
22:42
awesome items she gets in her loot boxes. And
22:45
that episode is about twice the length of this
22:48
one. Have a good one. New achievement. You've
22:51
listened to another episode of The Apocalypse
22:53
Will Be Podcasted. We release new episodes every
22:56
Sunday. Visit us on our website to find all our
22:59
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