Latest / HAIstoric Phonograph — irreverent dispatches from a history that never quite happened
Get Fucked, Odin: A World Where Vikings Couldn't Find a Fjord in a Foggy Tits-Up
Send us Fan MailThe Norsemen were masters of the sea, alright. Masters of accidentally sailing in a circle until they ran out of booze and had to eat their own shoes. So get this: it's 793 AD. A longboat packed to the gills with horned-helmeted—no, they didn't have horns, you absolute walnut, pay attention—*Scandinavians* is floundering off the coast of bumfuck-nowhere. This crew of magnificent, mead-swilling bastards was *supposed* to be on its way to Lindisfarne, a monastery so famously loaded with gold and, let's be honest, probably some seriously repressed monks, it was basically begging…
The skinny
The skinny isn't ready yet — notes appear once the transcript is processed.