Latest / No Latency / S2E81 - Skate Fast Turn Left

Transcript

S2E81 - Skate Fast Turn Left · No Latency

0:01
The last time on no latency. Did somebody say the Pug Bowl?
0:06
Fuck yeah, I said. The Pug Bowl.
0:07
Yeah, the trauma. Cyrus my my favorite.
0:09
I think Vendel will be just fine.
0:11
We know a bunch of players now. How do you do this?
0:14
I'll give you a hand. I thought, I thought I could
0:16
just do it. Team tag, but with blunt objects
0:19
as your tagging mechanism. We're.
0:21
Talking about cocaine in the workplace here, people.
0:24
Which means they're playing Vendel first.
0:26
Wink. All right, let's roll for
0:28
bureaucracy. Welcome.
0:30
To the first match. Gonna be in the power jab power
0:34
down. Oh, that don't look too good.
0:38
That is a lot of blood. Oh.
0:39
I think I won money, you're son. Of a.
0:41
Bitch, what'd you do to check? I told you that was a lot of
0:44
blood, Jack. This.
0:44
Might be serious. What'd you do to check?
0:47
Oh shit. Boo,
1:00
this is bullshit. Oh my.
1:03
This is fucking. Is that is that a fatality?
1:07
Do they get points for that? No, they don't get points for
1:10
the fatality. I thought it was they always
1:14
have to send the medic on the field.
1:16
What's what's what's happening now?
1:18
They don't. Where's the medic?
1:20
What? Your trauma team isn't doing
1:22
anything. They normally do.
1:24
They always do. Yeah, get chat out there.
1:31
Is there a is there a medic? None of the Is there a drama
1:35
team? Can you guys help?
1:37
I'm a doctor, I can help. OK, great, because the trauma
1:41
team guys are refusing to help another team.
1:44
That's that's that's BM. That's BM that matters.
1:50
I mean, I understand competition.
1:53
I can help, I'm a doctor. OK, great.
1:58
Cool, will you will you sign this NDA saying that you won't
2:03
hurt him because you you're wearing all trauma team merch?
2:09
I thought. NDA, you know what I mean?
2:11
Just like a. I'm not gonna.
2:12
I I've sworn the Hippocratic Oath, I will help people in need
2:17
when they need it. And he's recording me saying it.
2:20
Good enough? Click.
2:20
Cool, That's legally binding here.
2:23
Great. If you he's just down there,
2:25
I'll let the door open. If you could just head into the
2:28
the he's sorry, chick. The the the referee is over
2:31
there. He'll explain the situation.
2:34
Yes, yes, I'll make my way over. Well, that's going to need some
2:39
reconstruction, I think I. Hello chick, I'm a doctor and
2:46
I'm here to help, just can you show me a point to me where it
2:50
hurts the most? Chick is unconscious.
2:53
The referee stands over them as the rest of the team gathers
2:56
behind them. You tried.
2:58
It was worth talking to Chick, but she is completely
3:01
unconscious. All right.
3:04
Oh, man, Do we have any stretchers?
3:06
We're going to have to get them off the field.
3:08
This is bad. They're going to do it.
3:12
They're going to be out for the rest of the They're going to be
3:15
out for the rest of the tournament.
3:16
I'm sorry. If you can if you can fix her up
3:23
before the next match, that would be great.
3:25
I mean, I think it's going to be some head trauma generally.
3:30
Generally, you shouldn't really get back into physical activity
3:35
after. I appreciate your medical
3:37
opinion, but. All right, A.
3:41
Patient's decision. All right, you know what?
3:43
All right, But all right, give me a moment.
3:47
Let me just grab a. The referee helps you with the
3:51
stretcher and you roll onto this stretcher.
3:56
Blood is now starting to dry on her face.
3:59
She doesn't look that bad, got a tiny bit of a black eye slowly
4:03
developing. They've just obviously fallen on
4:05
their face and you carry them out of here.
4:08
Where are you carrying them? Basically just off the field to
4:12
the sidelines. If there's just like an area for
4:15
players, that's just. Yeah.
4:16
Do you want to take them to the the room that they have?
4:19
Yeah, I'll take them to the room.
4:21
Locker room. Yeah, locker room.
4:25
Are y'all going to be like hovering over me while I'm
4:27
trying to do this? What's?
4:28
Going on chick cock a doodle Doo wake up.
4:33
All right, I just everybody please just stand a couple of
4:36
feet back. Thank you.
4:37
I need I need space. Let let her breathe.
4:41
And you close the door on them and they're staying all outside.
4:44
Now it's just you and chick in this room.
4:46
All right, it's just us, isn't it?
4:52
Just kidding. I'm not going to do anything
4:54
nefarious. Let's take a look.
4:59
I'm just going to quickly check the vitals, do a little
5:03
disinfecting where the blood is so that they grab a like a
5:07
alcohol pad and just clean them off a little bit.
5:11
Great. And give them a health hypo.
5:15
Cool is what is in the health hypo What what kind of is?
5:19
What is its designation? Is it just for healing?
5:21
Does it give them? Does it have like?
5:24
Just for healing. OK, Yeah.
5:26
All right, roll me. 2D6 Yeah, let me roll.
5:33
Pretty good, yeah, great. They're not have full health,
5:36
but they're definitely a little better that you.
5:38
You start to hear as you're cleaning her up, snoring.
5:44
Snoring, man, were they like out, out, Ha, that's yeah, yes.
5:54
How are you examining her? Are you examining her
5:56
physically? Are you using your scanner?
5:58
What is happening? I will use.
6:01
I'm going to do both. So I'm going to 1st scan her and
6:04
then when I hear the snoring, I'm just going to also examine
6:07
it and see the rest of their body.
6:10
Yeah. Cool, so you rolled A-15 on
6:13
paramedic? The thing you notice is she has
6:15
a fractured nose. It's not that bad.
6:17
It's going to leave a little bum but it wouldn't be that hard to
6:20
cosmetic with a good insurance plan.
6:23
The scanner revealed you beat it.
6:25
That was the DV subject. Is unconscious broken nose
6:28
mighty loss of blood the subject, but it contains
6:31
tranquilizer. I had a feeling when I heard the
6:35
spring second compound detected a high.
6:41
What is it? An upper and a downer?
6:43
Not a good combo. Oh shit, do.
6:50
Wake patient, administer adrenaline, be careful not to
6:53
cause their bunch to explode. Okay?
6:57
I would like to look and examine and see if I could see where if
7:01
there was a trank dart or something maybe.
7:04
Okay. Thrown at them in the match.
7:07
Sure, let. Me examine.
7:09
Yeah, go for it. That requires another word.
7:12
You can roll perception, or I suppose human perception.
7:16
Yeah, let's see. 22 yes, you find just the needle in their
7:25
heel stuck right in the tendon. Achilles, the Achilles heel.
7:33
We're getting Greek up in this bitch.
7:35
And the thing you know about it going there is it would take a
7:39
second to get into their system from that location because it's
7:42
so far from the heart. When they were hit, it wasn't
7:45
just as they fell, it was a few moments before that, likely
7:49
during the 2nd loop. OK, seems like there's some
7:53
sabotage going on here for the Roosters.
7:58
Oh man, Retro's not going to be happy when he hears this.
8:06
Do you attempt to wake up? Yes, I am going to.
8:11
Let's see see, let me look through.
8:13
I do think I have some adrenaline cool that I that are
8:19
are my smelling salts, but I will do the adrenaline and.
8:24
Joint. Nice roll so you don't fuck this
8:28
up. Yeah, let's see.
8:30
Don't fuck this up, OK? Do not fuck this up.
8:35
Medical tech 20 yes, you dab it. You dab, you do a dab.
8:41
You do a dab. That's right, you do a dab
8:43
excited that you like I know my medical stuff.
8:46
I'm so cool and great. And then you stab this this
8:51
rabbit in the shot in the in the the thigh EpiPen like item as it
8:55
injects adrenaline into her body and chick takes a huge, huge
9:01
deep breath and bolts upright. Roll Evasion.
9:06
Oh yeah, that's insighting. 16 OK, so now let's see 10 right as
9:14
as chick bolts upright, they go to swing at you, so
9:18
disorientated by this moment, and you dodge effortlessly and
9:22
they're about to hit you again and then lower their fist a bit.
9:25
You're not a combat zone player. No, I'm not a player.
9:30
I am just a bystander fan and I'm here to.
9:35
I was here to help because nobody else was available.
9:41
I just felt like. A cold sensation over my whole
9:44
body and I just tried to keep skating, yeah.
9:47
You had a bit of a rough go out there.
9:55
Oh, that's broken, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
9:59
I look, I don't recommend you go back out there.
10:05
You do as you will, but I should probably inform you that I found
10:10
traces of tranquilizer in your blood system.
10:18
I also found traces of drugs, but you know you can.
10:21
This is I figured you know we're I'm of doctor patient
10:24
confidentiality. That's fine.
10:25
You do what you want in your free time, but I yeah, well, not
10:29
a great combo with tranquilizer. I don't do down as I, that's not
10:34
me, yeah. Well, somebody seemed to have
10:37
wanted to make you feel pretty shitty because I found a needle
10:44
in your shoe in your skate. All right, so.
10:53
I'm just telling you what I found.
10:56
I again don't recommend you go back out there, but you do as
11:00
you will. Other than my nose, do I have
11:02
anything broken? Is there anything else broken
11:05
besides the nose? No.
11:07
You have a bit of head trauma. But you know, glad everybody's
11:10
wearing helmets, safety ha ha. But other than that, no.
11:16
You, you should be OK. OK.
11:24
All right, well, next. Match is probably in what and
11:28
they look at. The clock on the wall. 10
11:31
minutes, yeah, and that one, but I'm in the third one.
11:34
I'm going to have some water and yeah.
11:37
I would I would try to take it easy.
11:40
All of your teammates are anxiously waiting outside.
11:43
They're outside cool. Yep, and.
11:45
They burst the door open and in the crowd behind them, including
11:52
retro cock a doodle doos. But down but we're not help.
12:00
Oh man, I took a beating. Do I look like shit?
12:04
You look. Beautiful Fuck yeah.
12:09
Hey Retro, can I talk to you for a SEC?
12:13
Yeah, sure. You go, chick, you go.
12:19
So did a little medical examination of chick, she's
12:24
going to be OK, just so you know, just a bloody nose and and
12:27
all that. But I did happen to find, well,
12:34
I found synth coke in her system.
12:36
But that's fine. You know, they're drugs, but I
12:39
mean. To be fair, I think, I think
12:41
everybody, yeah. Yeah, me.
12:44
'Cause Iona took mine, they took my coke.
12:49
Look, I know, I know it gets people going, especially, you
12:53
know, especially in roller Derby.
12:55
But I I also found a trank in their skates and yeah, they,
13:06
they were trained. Somebody trains them
13:08
deliberately. I think I misheard you.
13:13
Did you just say you found a trank in their skate?
13:17
Yeah, somebody tried to tranquilize them.
13:24
You found a trank in their skate.
13:30
Yes. I'm pleased retro don't take.
13:33
Retro is immediately going to find the first fan that is a
13:38
combat zone and tackle them. Retro.
13:43
Does anyone try and stop retro? Jesus Christ, Retro, what are
13:48
you doing? Not at all.
13:52
I'm not stopping, but I have. You know I'm going to watch, but
13:56
call me. Retro you try you go to attack
14:04
the 1st combat zone suit you see and you try and grab this guy
14:07
and as you pull he doesn't fucking move and you go at him.
14:12
You you like try and drag him and you try and pull and you're
14:16
getting really angry and everyone else is kind of
14:18
laughing at you and you don't really understand why but this
14:21
guy is not reacting he's just standing straight facing away
14:24
with you from you constantly not moving and you RIP his shirt off
14:28
and people start to really laugh at you.
14:31
And then VV you notice that Retro is fighting a mannequin.
14:36
Retro that's not even a person come back I'm.
14:39
Just going to keep stopping it, trying to just kick it.
14:43
All right. I need you to roll.
14:46
Can you roll evasion for me? Essentially this is a steel
14:49
mannequin and you just kicked it, so that might hurt you. 17
14:54
Yes, you go to kick it and miss, but the aglets is it aglets?
15:00
The the little things on the end of drawstrings.
15:02
Yes, yes. Yeah, the aglets on your shoe
15:04
clink across the bottom of the legs and you hear a hollow metal
15:08
noise. This is the moment when you
15:10
realize that you have been fighting a mannequin.
15:15
Retro. No.
15:19
Let him go, let him go. I'm going to slowly turn to
15:26
around to the crowd, sheepish for a second.
15:29
Of course they can't either. Their facial functions realizing
15:33
what has happened and immediately have a brain spark
15:38
and good look towards the rest of the coop and scream.
15:42
Combat zone trigger. Combat zone trig.
15:46
Combat zone trig. Go go, go.
15:51
Take them out. Take them out.
15:54
Right, sure. We don't even know if it is the
15:56
combat zone. This could be rigged from the
15:58
start. This could be somebody else.
16:00
We this, that's a that's a heavy accusation.
16:03
I mean, who else could have had the opportunity?
16:05
They're the ones. That were on the on the field,
16:07
unless you're saying one of those zebras did it.
16:09
Are you saying that the zebras did it?
16:10
No. But maybe somebody like on one
16:12
of the other teams did it before the game even started because
16:16
they want to sabotage in their in their skate like in their
16:20
anybody. Could have done that.
16:22
Yeah, I. Mean you.
16:23
You honestly, you know if you. If you.
16:27
If you want to do like an investigation, I mean, you're
16:30
convinced, I'll help you. Hi, everyone.
16:32
Yeah, I'm going to. Do an investigation and when we
16:34
find out hi. Fresh What are you doing here?
16:38
Watching? Don't worry about it, this is
16:44
some bullshit. This is bullshit so.
16:47
It's. Double elimination and besides,
16:50
I'll help you. Hi.
16:53
I've done already because someone should need it and you
16:55
guys. Came to the bug bowl.
16:57
I spent like half my money on the tickets.
17:00
Some guy. Outside he sold me tickets to
17:02
get Jim resignation for 1000 ready such a different.
17:05
Fresh what? Don't do that next time.
17:11
Oh. I know, I know, I.
17:14
Probably should have given. Him a tip like what, 500?
17:18
A tip 50% you. Sweet summer child.
17:22
Hi. Jen so.
17:27
Damn, that was crazy. That was a lot of blood, that
17:30
was. Bullshit, bullshit.
17:35
Retro retro, retro, retro. Listen to me.
17:39
Chick behind you just said that they're great and this fills you
17:43
with joy because Chick is fine. Except for a broken mouse, I
17:47
mean. I am excited.
17:48
That chick is fine, I just. Thought you'd have a reaction to
17:51
chick saying fuck yeah that kind of fuck I.
17:53
Mean I Oh yeah, no, I'm excited that but you can't you can't
17:56
think that I would not be mad then I just found someone just
17:58
fucking sabotaged our team and I'm going to get to the bottom
18:03
of this I will find who did this well.
18:08
There's 5 minutes till the next match.
18:10
Iona, you get a message on your tile from Vendel that just says
18:14
do I take drugs? Question, Luke.
18:17
I just replied yes. And then you get a meme of a
18:22
straw picking up snow. I show it.
18:26
Just show it to Remy. Remy, wait, do you get it?
18:30
Do you understand? Yeah, yeah, they're, they're
18:34
icing. They're icing themselves before
18:36
they go out, right? I just thought you would think
18:39
this was a funny Mimi. Oh, oh, OK, I get it, I get it.
18:45
They're blowing stuff. I get Where'd they get?
18:47
Where'd they get the the synth? I basically carry around the
18:51
pharmacy. Where did they get the Synco?
18:54
Oh. It was yours, not mine.
19:00
This was supposed to be. This was supposed.
19:01
To be the best day ever. My one tickets to the pug bowl.
19:07
My team was going to win and now I'm hearing another team
19:12
cheated. Almost took out our our star
19:14
player rabbit and and I can't even do anything about it and
19:19
and now my synth coke is gone. This is the worst your.
19:23
Synth coke was gone a while ago. But listen, Ronnie is there what
19:27
what can I do to make your day better?
19:31
Because I know you were very excited about this and I know
19:35
your team is going to lose and I'm very sorry for that.
19:38
So what can I do for you? And it's.
19:42
In this little moment as Retro starts to grumble at your little
19:46
stab there Iona that you hear over the the tanoi in this space
19:50
the next. Match will start in five.
19:57
Minutes. Yes, your best is only four
19:58
minutes to match. Who?
20:04
Is. In.
20:07
The next match, Biotechnica versus Roma TV.
20:08
Oh boy, here we go. So 2 All right, so two other
20:11
loser teams. I don't need to pay attention.
20:13
Yeah. What are the?
20:13
What are the odds on this? Trauma team favorite to win.
20:19
Yeah. Well it looks like Biotechnic is
20:23
at 2 point O and Trauma team's at 1.5.
20:27
I've I heard our team's not been doing very well lately, but
20:30
they've got new players. So that's that's Vendel's on the
20:34
team. What cool, they're blocking
20:38
right? Because of all the hard ass
20:39
stuff. No, there's a rabbit.
20:43
Oh fuck. Is there something wrong with
20:46
that? Well, I don't know if you
20:49
noticed, but rabbits get hurt a lot.
20:53
Well, have you seen Glendale? Glendale can take a hit.
20:57
Wow, Glendale's got robot legs. That's fair.
21:01
No, no, just. 1. Yeah, I feel more supported as
21:04
well. That's nice.
21:06
Good you should I here to serve you, I suppose.
21:14
I don't know why I said that fresh first.
21:16
Forget I said that. I'm your boss.
21:22
Are you all right? I don't know, I'm just in a very
21:25
giving mood today. Did somebody try to meet?
21:28
Yeah, what about that did you? Have some of that synth coat.
21:32
No God or wait. Did you take any MDMA?
21:37
Why would I take MDMA you guys have?
21:40
MDMA. Whoa, I mean.
21:42
I don't know what that is. I mean, I'm just saying you are
21:47
more friendly today than normal. Well.
21:51
If it if it makes a difference, I'm very, very worried about
21:57
Fendel and if we don't win this match, I don't know what is
22:01
going to happen. And so I'm trying to take care
22:04
of my people. Look.
22:07
I'm with you. I am torn because I also care
22:11
for Vendel as a member of the team, but do not put my love for
22:16
the El Dorado boosters above anything else.
22:20
I'm sorry, I already apologized. I think I've made my point.
22:24
All right, Fresh let's, we're going to go find it, but OK.
22:28
Do you want to do a bit for the OH?
22:30
Yes, yes, we fresh. Will you put in?
22:33
Will you put in? Let me check my to you.
22:38
No, I'm good. I don't bet on losers.
22:41
That's what you sound like, Remy I.
22:45
Mean that was pretty close, yeah.
22:47
Thank you. Will you you just?
22:49
Found out other people had a cheat to beat my.
22:51
Team, that's what you sound like.
22:55
There's the Iona we know and to tolerate.
22:58
I really. Want Trauma team to win?
23:01
Are you going to bet on trauma team?
23:04
No, I'm not going to get it. Then send dental.
23:06
No, you know what I am, I'm going to I'm going to put money
23:10
in both and so either way I'll win.
23:15
But all right, I don't want to see anything bad after the
23:20
Vendel. Just just keep an eye on the
23:23
field because if somebody is sabotaging the Roosters, there's
23:28
a chance that they could also be sabotaging one of these other
23:30
teams. So let's just keep an eye out
23:32
everybody and you're. Saying this as you put your
23:35
betting chip into the vending machine and you look at the
23:38
screen and you have 450 eddies because you won money on the
23:42
last match. Motive The.
23:47
Pen just exploded on my hand, all right.
23:50
Double motive it gets. Dirty here in the Pug Bowl so
23:55
you have 450 eddies on your chip without putting any more money
24:00
on it that you can deal with because the combats only won in
24:02
the last match. All right, well, Vivi, as much
24:08
as she wants her team to win, has a sneaking suspicion
24:12
Biotechnica may be behind. What what Iona said about
24:15
Biotechnica potentially, you know, wanting Vendel to win, I
24:20
feel like they might be rigging it.
24:22
So I'm going to put most of my money into Biotechnica
24:27
Biohazards. How much?
24:30
Let's do let's do 350 and then the other 100 I'll put in my
24:38
team, trauma team. Oh, you're.
24:39
Just you're, you're throwing all the money in.
24:41
All right, cool. Yeah, because if one get if, if
24:44
I win, maybe I'll get enough to get to the VIP.
24:46
Fair enough. Is there a reason you want to
24:50
get to the VIP? No.
24:55
All right. Cool.
24:56
Jeb, you're, you're looking, you're looking behind VV as they
25:00
do this bet and you notice that they've won some money.
25:03
They, they reallocate their cash.
25:05
The machine confirms the bet. And as you walk up to the
25:08
vending machine, you put your own chip in.
25:10
You bet 300 in the Roosters last time and it confirms that you
25:13
lost that 300. But because you bet 100 on the
25:16
combat zones, you now have 150 leftover on the chip because you
25:21
won 50 bucks on that bet. All right, well, what are the
25:26
odds on this next game? Trauma Team 1.5.
25:32
Biohazards 2 point O. OK.
25:36
So it's more likely that the, you know what, sometimes you got
25:42
to go bid, you know. So we're.
25:44
Going to put the rest of my money all 150 on biotech.
25:48
You're not. Putting any more money on the
25:49
chip? No, I got to hold.
25:52
I got to show some restraint. It's.
25:54
Very little money, Jeb, and you're quite rich, but that's
25:56
fine. I have a bad concept of money.
26:01
Well. No, Jeb.
26:02
Really does have a bad concept. Of money in general.
26:07
I I would like to bet as well all.
26:11
Right. Well, we can use this machine.
26:12
Iona. There you go.
26:15
All right. I put, I put a little chip in
26:17
and I put more money on it and then I, I'm betting 200 on
26:22
Biotechnica for this Round 2. 100 confirmed for Game 2.
26:27
Perfectly. Easier than I thought, yes.
26:29
It's. Really easy.
26:31
I love gambling. It's so addictive I'm going to
26:36
gamble 1000 on Biotechnica. That's.
26:41
The rest of your money A. 1000. Yeah, for.
26:45
Just this matter overall fresh what are you?
26:48
Fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, Fresh what?
26:50
Am I doing bad? You are being fiscally
26:54
irresponsible. I don't.
26:58
I've never really had money if you have to remember I'm like 3
27:01
years old. All right.
27:06
Well, we're just this to you. We are going to start giving you
27:10
an allowance, OK? So just so.
27:13
Just 700. Then just 700, yeah.
27:18
Spending 700. I will be taking over freshers
27:25
finances from this point forward.
27:31
Everyone else is busy and not paying attention.
27:34
Retro is going to go and also make bets.
27:38
OK, cool. I do want to know what is.
27:42
I can't remember if I made a bet or not for the whole thing
27:45
already for the Roosters to win. The computer starts to load on
27:50
you and you see that you currently have 500 on the
27:55
Roosters to win the whole event at 1.5.
27:58
This number for the overall has changed to 1.7 I'm.
28:04
Going to put 2000 on biotechnical.
28:11
Oh. To win that match, yes, OK.
28:14
Gambling with your friends is fun.
28:17
It. Sure is.
28:20
Oh well, I'm definitely getting a drink.
28:23
Yeah. On this.
28:24
Chip. I also I'll put a little bit
28:27
more in just so I can get a drink you.
28:29
Don't have to put money on the bedding chip to buy drinks, you
28:31
can just pay with regular money. The bedding chip is just a way
28:33
of holding your money in escrow until the event is over got.
28:36
It you actually. Can't pull money off the chip
28:39
until the event is over. No matter what, you win.
28:42
It's like how Venmo makes money. Exactly.
28:47
All right, so you go up to the vending machine if you want to
28:50
check for what's available in it.
28:52
Roller D10. OK.
28:54
If you want drinks though, I have a list.
28:56
Yeah, I'm going to. Like a list of the drinks go I'm
29:00
thirsty bowl you get. A can of smash for 15 get a
29:04
boost for 15, you get real water for 20, or you can get shine
29:09
which is the cheap shit. Shine has an effect like a drug
29:12
so be careful. Oh.
29:13
I'd love some shine. How much is that?
29:18
Shine is $5 right? 5 euro dollars that's.
29:22
Why they call it a 5 finger Eddie?
29:24
Yep. And.
29:27
You rolled. A9 Looking through the vending
29:28
machine and you see that it has a buddy pair of Smash available
29:32
for $25. That's $5 off the second can.
29:35
Damn straight I'm getting that. Cool.
29:38
You buy 2 cans of Smash at $5 off, so you spend 25 Jeb.
29:44
You grab the shine and it warns you that it has negative effects
29:47
after 15 minutes on the little label on the can.
29:50
What? Don't seem so bad.
29:55
Roll, resist, torture drugs. Oh, that burns on the way down.
30:01
It tastes just like your grandpa used to make, just like my.
30:05
Grandpa used to make Oh does. That mean you get advantage
30:08
because you're used to this. Fuck it.
30:10
Yeah, sure. You get advantage on your role
30:13
for Resist torture drugs. If you need it.
30:15
You don't need it. That's a crit success.
30:18
So you gain the benefits of Shine, which is packaged
30:22
moonshine. Yes, that's right.
30:24
Corporate moonshine. Gross.
30:25
But it still tastes just as good.
30:27
And there's part of you that kind of hates that Jeb.
30:30
But the effect of this stuff is that you get plus one to reflex
30:34
if you roll over the resist torture drugs.
30:37
If you fail that, you still get that bonus, but after 15 minutes
30:40
you get -1 to your reflex until you sleep.
30:45
A reflex of nine so. For for the for the rest of
30:50
this, for the next 15 minutes, Jeb has a reflex of plus one,
30:55
and if he wants to get that benefit again, he has to drink
30:57
more, shine and roll again. Are are you going to be a
31:03
rabbit? This.
31:04
Corporate shine is not so bad. Tastes just like the first time
31:08
I had it. Six years old, back, Grand
31:10
pappy. You know, I'm, I'm about one
31:13
more, you know, just to have it in the back pocket.
31:17
Yeah, you roll. You roll another one.
31:19
It clinks out of the machine and is dented and you love it.
31:22
Oh yeah. All right, I'm not sticking
31:33
around to watch this match. I'm going on an investigation.
31:39
You're not going to watch the game.
31:40
You're not going to watch Trauma Team.
31:44
You love heckling. Trauma Team.
31:48
I do love Heckling Trauma Team, do not get me wrong, that is a
31:52
love of mine, but my love for my rooster, my my lovely pair of
31:59
cocks is needed. It's.
32:04
Low. Hanging fruit, but it's tasting
32:05
nonetheless. I am a cocksmith if not anything
32:09
and I must support my team well go.
32:14
Support your cocks. Night City if you look at a map.
32:28
Of North America. Somewhere on the western edge
32:31
you'd see an inky black dot with fingers pressing into the side
32:34
of the continent. That's where you find Night
32:36
City. And somewhere in the middle of
32:38
that inky black dot is a giant smoking hole, like the universe
32:43
itself drew iron and shot straight through the city.
32:46
Radiation turned the sky red. But our story starts a little.
32:50
Further South in a. Dive bar the shortstop.
32:55
Welcome to Night City and welcome to Cyberpunk Edge of
32:58
Extinction. Infinite.
33:01
Sided Dice presents Cyberpunk Edge of Extinction, a Cyberpunk
33:05
Red actual play. Watch now at youtube.com slash
33:09
at Infinite Sided Dice catch you later chums.
33:25
Vendel. How?
33:26
How much of it did you take? The bag.
33:31
The whole. The whole bag.
33:34
And I don't know, we'll have to roll and find out.
33:37
Oh really? Can we find resist torture drugs
33:45
the. DV4 synth coke is 15.
33:48
Oh, thank goodness. One of the one of the guys in in
33:52
in the room, they show me how to do it.
33:54
You, you bump it like we do on the ring, we bump it.
33:57
That's why people like Coke so much when they do roller Derby,
34:00
because they also bump in the ring, don't they?
34:02
Don't they tunes. Isn't that right?
34:03
High fives everyone and you watch.
34:05
Bendale give everyone on high 5 in less in a second.
34:07
What? Yeah.
34:08
Oh. Yeah, you.
34:11
All right. So you did or did not do the
34:13
whole bag? No.
34:14
No I didn't do the whole bag. I have more if I need it for
34:16
later. Great, great.
34:18
Please don't do the whole bag in one sitting.
34:20
Drugs. Shush, sorry.
34:23
Drugs, that's. What you should be yelling or
34:26
even whispering? Somebody takes a clan of shine
34:30
and just makes it. This place is very interesting.
34:36
I know everyone's got so much energy.
34:37
I'm ready to do the pub. We've got like 30 seconds.
34:39
Here we go and. Watch those they.
34:41
Keep walking past you. Do you have anything else to say
34:43
to Vendor I? Do I was thinking and I I know
34:48
this is strange. I used to date and there was a a
34:53
partner that I had that was really into doing Derby BDS OK.
34:59
Cool. What the hell is that?
35:03
A brain dance, you know that? Oh.
35:04
BD Brain Dance. Got it, got it, got you.
35:08
Well, they they were always on about their their favorite move.
35:13
Have you Have you ever heard of the plane shave?
35:17
I think I saw a video once I've got the plane shave.
35:20
I've got a recording of one right here in my.
35:23
Oh. Show it to Bendel quickly.
35:26
We have we have like 29 seconds. Oh shit.
35:30
Roll interface. Interface 11.
35:33
Yeah, it's very simple to send the video file over to Bendel.
35:37
Bendel uses their inner Chiron to check it out and you watch
35:40
them kind of like think about. It well, it's a good thing I
35:45
have a shovel. I suppose it is cool.
35:49
Well. I don't really know when I
35:52
should do that, but if you think I should, you tell me.
35:56
I'll just stay connected. All right, great.
35:59
I don't know what it is, but I'll tell you when to do it.
36:03
Look at that. I got a special move.
36:05
I don't know if it'll be any good at it because fresh didn't
36:08
roll very well so I get no bonuses, but we'll see.
36:11
We'll see. I mean, I'm excited to see, to
36:13
be honest and. Mendell passes you and heads on
36:16
into the ring. The trauma team team walks by
36:20
and you see Chad in this group, Phoebe, and he's waving it.
36:25
You enthusiastic. Hey.
36:29
It's a club, it's my team. Go.
36:31
Chad. Oh God, that poor boy, she said.
36:33
Go. Chad.
36:34
Bye gosh, she said. Go, Chad.
36:35
Hey, that's me, mine Chad, that's me.
36:37
Haha AM. I am I leading him on Jeb I.
36:41
Mean honestly, it's, it's on him.
36:46
I, I, I don't see it. I think you're just being nice.
36:50
Yeah. Thank you.
36:51
Thank you. No problem.
36:52
She's not. Just being nice, man.
36:54
I. Think it's for.
36:55
Real. Oh, Chad.
36:58
Oh. Chad.
37:01
Poor boy, poor help. Was bad you?
37:06
Watch the team start to settle in on the track.
37:09
The door gets closed and you hear an announcement asking
37:12
everyone to take their places for the Pug Bowl.
37:17
The Pug Bowl will start in a few moments, so everyone get your
37:20
spaces and your drinks. This one's going to be pretty.
37:24
Red. This.
37:26
One's going to be Nova, the Trauma team towers, Siren.
37:32
Let's go, Mercy. Got biotechnical biohazards?
37:40
Go, go, go, go. You've got this.
37:44
Got a lot of money riding on you?
37:46
Go. Chad star player.
37:51
See, I told you man, CD, why are you?
37:54
Live. Wait a minute.
37:54
Hold on now. You might be.
37:56
Leading them on leading. Now you might be leading them
37:59
all just. I'm I'm having fun with it now.
38:05
I can't halt myself feels. Nice to be lacked.
38:11
Go Vendel. Vendel, you've got this.
38:14
And. The first slap commences.
38:17
The green light says go. And the first round begins and
38:22
as you all know, the first round there is no combat.
38:24
So we've got Vendel moving forward our.
38:28
First lap begins as the players create the deadly spread taking
38:34
the fall to the back. Their blockers are way behind.
38:37
Looks like Biohazards has an early lead taking the right
38:42
round there. Look at that round.
38:46
Looks like rabbit. Vendel really has some speed,
38:50
all right. It's super fast.
38:56
With the. Lead with Vendel themselves, the
38:58
new rabbit on the team. Watch them.
39:00
Kareem around the corner Take. The inside take the inside.
39:05
Makes their way around the inside, the teams behind them
39:10
start to get their first lap. Their rabbit does not do well on
39:16
that corner. A little a little bit of a slide
39:19
as they slow down and the trauma team's rabbit is closing in.
39:25
Chad passes by the VIPs and he rolls in 8 and manages to get
39:31
ahead of the biotechnical chairman.
39:33
Sirens, you watching making a decent position in this?
39:38
Question. I thought you said Chad was shit
39:43
at this. Apparently.
39:45
He's doing good. I'm so proud of my boy that.
39:49
Kind of makes him attractive, right?
39:52
Is that, is that what makes attraction?
39:55
Kind of yeah. But it's something a very
40:00
physical activity. Oh my gosh.
40:02
Lends its competence. Notions.
40:05
To another physical activity, but if he.
40:07
Actually does become like the starboard.
40:09
Maybe I actually will. Like, you know, let's not get
40:14
ahead of ourselves. Right he he rolls genuinely mid
40:20
after getting his lead and just manages to maintain it as the
40:26
first round begins and the danger has begun our.
40:32
First round has begun and it's a tight spread for this match, I
40:36
mean. Chad, I'm not there, but I feel
40:39
like Chad has just poured into that uniform.
40:43
One of the biohazard blockers is taking a fall, dragging
40:47
themselves back into the race, leaving it open for Trauma Team
40:51
to take a point. Yeah, that's kind of bad for
40:58
Biotechnica. Can they get back up?
41:02
What? What do we do?
41:04
I mean, don't ask me, I forgot how the game worked already.
41:07
Both rabbits are neck and neck, with blockers and jammers tight
41:10
behind them. Comment team's starting to do a
41:13
little bit of an extra move. They're doing a whip, rolling
41:16
A6, careening their jammer forward ahead of the
41:21
biotechnical blockers. It looks like Medic J is right
41:24
there near their rabbit, and they're going to have to roll an
41:27
invasion. That's.
41:28
My team, yes. Vendel has to roll an invasion.
41:31
Invasion. I mean, if they're neck and
41:34
neck, this is going to be a tight game because you need to
41:37
lap the other one, right? 19 evasion. 19 evasion and that
41:42
means this guy 12 misses Jammer. Two on the trauma team trying
41:48
his best, but unfortunately is completely taken over by blocker
41:51
#2 on the biotechnical biohazards.
41:55
Watch them smash them into the wall.
41:59
Yes, Smash. Hit the other ones, hit that
42:01
team. I like watching Iona get into
42:04
this. Because Tamer is out there on
42:10
the field rolling one of my new dice that I got from the Edge
42:13
Runner's kit. These dice are awesome.
42:15
That's an 8 and that's A tag on Derby.
42:18
Biotechnica is up one point and it's only the first contact
42:25
round. How many?
42:27
How many? Combat lines are there.
42:32
As many as it takes to get to 5. So this could be a long game.
42:35
This looks like it might be. This is not going to be as fast
42:38
as the last one. Blocker number one on the
42:46
Biohazards takes a ball. They're not doing well leaving
42:50
it open once again. Come on, Biotechnica.
42:57
Thank you. Thank you for rooting on your
42:58
friend of. Course a little cow.
43:01
Pulse specifically. For you.
43:04
Oh jabber #1 on the Trauma team has taken a crit fail and their
43:08
rabbit, causing a serious amount of distance between the two
43:12
rabbits. The new rabbit on the Biohazard
43:14
team has taken the back and one of their blockers on the Trauma
43:19
team has managed to deflect a hit, and it looks like we've got
43:22
a little bit of hope for the block here on the 1st corner of
43:26
this second round. That'll.
43:29
Lose. That'll lose.
43:32
They. Made their first horseshoe and
43:34
now. They're coming to the straight
43:38
back. That's a 70, that's a four.
43:41
That's not enough. Oh, and that's enough.
43:44
On the. Trauma teams rabbit really close
43:47
to this match. Really close still anyone's Game
43:50
2 to nothing? Come on.
43:52
Now it's. A second roll for this ring,
43:54
their new rabbit right there on the field leading the chase.
43:59
They roll at 13. Nice, nice.
44:01
Vendel keeping a good lead as Derby get.
44:05
Out of the. Maelstrom and get there, right
44:08
there out there away from everyone else.
44:10
Wow, I am bad at my job. Keep.
44:13
Moving. Keep moving your butt.
44:15
Like, like the announcement said, move your butt.
44:18
That's why the people came you. Watch Vendel start to shimmy and
44:22
like sway their ass like. This if it makes you go faster.
44:28
Drama Teams Rabbit takes the lead, coming around the inner
44:32
side as the rest of the Maelstrom of combat in the Pug
44:36
Bowl comes up behind Vendel. It doesn't look like Vendel's
44:40
going to be able to use distances.
44:41
Defense as one of the jammers takes a swing Roll Evasion.
44:45
Here we go this. Is the best Vendel's ever
44:49
rolled. Look at that job you watch.
44:53
Bendell just bend at the waist fully like matrix style as
44:57
someone swings this huge steel back across where they just
45:01
were. Whoa, that's some pro moves.
45:05
They're close enough, though, that it looks like this melee
45:07
attack hits twice. Gosh, that's.
45:10
Pro Moves. And Biotechnica.
45:25
And now it's 2 to one. The game's getting close.
45:28
Oh my gosh, going into our third lap this is getting hot 0.
45:33
Man, I don't know what to root for.
45:36
Vendel, obviously. Yeah, come on.
45:38
Now yes, go. Vendel has has.
45:41
Put a lot of money into these people.
45:43
We. We need some more morale for
45:45
this team. Vendel needs your love and
45:48
support looks. Like that jammer's going in for
45:50
another hit and, oh, look at that blocker.
45:53
Number one on the buyer has it slamming them into the wall.
45:56
That's to save giving Ben Dell time to get out to the front and
45:59
catch up with Derby. Yeah.
46:05
Go get them. Get out.
46:07
There up and at them up and at them up.
46:11
And at them. Oh trauma team, that's two crip
46:14
bales. One of the jammers form just
46:15
falls in the ground. Bullshit.
46:18
That's really. Funny.
46:19
I hope he can hug his nose like the last guy.
46:21
Holy shit. And the blocker trips up off
46:23
this fucking jam or fuck this shit.
46:26
Wow. But those two rabbits rolled the
46:28
same. Those 213 sticking around the
46:30
first band and all the way to the other side.
46:33
They've got one more roll for this lap.
46:34
Let's see how it goes. You ever?
46:37
Wonder why? You ever wonder how some
46:39
announcers get their jobs? I do, I don't know how.
46:42
This one does. I think this is.
46:44
The guy from that radio show, You know the 05?
46:47
Oh, so just nepotism? Oh, it's just that guy.
46:49
I just think. It's the same guy I hear he
46:51
gives out tickets to make himself more relevant makes.
46:54
Sense. Oh, look at that Bendel holding
46:58
a 15 all the way out in the front.
47:01
We've got some jammers coming up the back end for those
47:05
unfortunate points the Trauma team is going to have to give
47:07
away with this swing and you. Watch Chad try and stop this
47:13
this moment out in the field. He gets distracted though
47:16
because he's trying to wave at UVV.
47:23
Biotechnica rolling a crit success on that hit right there,
47:27
and that is yet another point for Biotechnica right here in
47:31
the third round. Holy shit, this match is really
47:34
something. We have one more point, match
47:36
point for Biotechnica. Match point.
47:40
Fred is close. It's probably all down to these
47:43
last rolls right here. God yeah, fuck you, trauma team.
47:51
You suck you. Suck is, there is.
47:53
There like any food next to in this VIP section there?
47:57
Is 1/2 glass of wine near you? Yes, on the bar that's waiting
48:01
for a guest. Well, I.
48:02
I take the glass of wine and I I throw it in Chad's face.
48:08
That he is in a glass bubble and you along with a lot of other
48:11
people are throwing shit and it this glass of wine shatters
48:14
across the top of this glass bubble.
48:16
And you, you watched Chad like wince as it comes towards him.
48:21
And from behind you you hear oh that.
48:23
Was mine. Oh, don't worry.
48:27
I'll give you another. Look at that, it's lovely to see
48:32
you get a screw. You drama team, Yes.
48:37
Screw you drama team, they all said drama team.
48:44
Looks like Derby has come up nice and close to Vendel.
48:48
They are neck and neck. They can't fight, but they're
48:50
going to try and you watch. Derby try and block Vendel off
48:54
from getting closer which gives them a -, 1 to their next move.
48:58
Behind them you can see Trauma Team and the Biotechnica
49:02
Biohazards try their best to win and dodge and and it's their
49:06
last role to see what happens. Trauma.
49:09
Team has to roll really, really well for this next round,
49:12
otherwise they're probably going to lose.
49:15
Oh, that's rabbit. That's not good, is it?
49:21
Bad Rabbit bad. Rabbit.
49:23
Bad Rabbit, that's. Trauma team with that bad rabbit
49:27
on this round. The last lap.
49:29
Oh look at that. Bendel takes a nice lead around
49:32
the first bend with a clean 14. Jammer 1 and Jammer 2 both
49:37
rolling at 15, smacking their team out of the way, leaving
49:40
space open for biohazards to come on by and roll out, rolling
49:45
on a their rabbit. This is the point that can make
49:47
the game. Look at that Jammer sail on
49:50
forward, take a hit, and here we go.
49:53
That is a crip fail. They fall to the ground.
49:58
I use. My inspiration.
50:00
I. Would like to use my inspiration
50:02
to have them reroll. Even though he had a crip fail,
50:06
some kind of inspiration is happening out here.
50:08
Holy shit. Inspiration for I don't know,
50:11
their rabbit. Tries to dodge no.
50:16
Oh no, that's the final hit. Hits the ground.
50:21
You can see the sadness. She's shaking her fist in the
50:25
air because she knows this game is.
50:31
Over. Wins.
50:34
A rescue and heads into the next match.
50:39
Yes. Yes, and I was really, really
50:41
pulling for them. And you know, I got to be
50:43
honest, I, I feel like I, I, I really should have trusted you
50:47
from the beginning there, Iona. And I don't know why I did.
50:52
You're not doubting me, you're doubting Vendel.
50:55
I. Was doubting myself I think wow
50:59
I really got I. Want money?
51:00
Gambling works this. Is.
51:06
How I you did? Oh well, yeah, same actually
51:12
the. Crowd is going crazy.
51:13
Vendel's doing that cool thing where skaters do the Figure 8
51:17
with their feet. They're going backwards around
51:19
the ring, just like shaking their hands in the air.
51:21
They just got a little bit of doubt on their face and they're
51:23
just like swinging the shovel around their hand, just like
51:27
twirling it. And the crowd's like clapping by
51:36
yo, technical by what should we? Call them Hot Wheels.
51:39
Oh, that's not dying. Hot Wheels.
51:40
Hot Wheels. Hot Wheels.
51:43
Wheels Hot, Wheels Hot. Wheels Hot Wheels.
51:45
Hot Wheels. I guess Chad's not that hot
51:54
anymore. Next time, Oh no Late.
52:07
Transpire has hired me and they wanted me to take a look at some
52:10
of the security footage. Vendel has to race all right.
52:15
Let's go. Oh.
52:16
Right. I want money too.
52:17
Ding Ding, Ding Ding, Ding. I am.
52:19
Both happy and but also now scared if we have to go up
52:23
against them, I thought. We were on a mission for a
52:25
moment there. Get that?
52:26
Weediness in you, no. No, no.
52:32
Oh, Jeb, why are? You just accusing wildly.
52:33
You know we have comms right? We'll.
52:34
See, I mean, and it's not looking good for the Roosters.
52:38
I got excited, no. I'm I'm sticking with it.
52:41
I'm sticking with my bet. I did.
52:43
Put money on trauma team by the way.
52:45
So first. Jeb had an existential crisis.
52:49
Now me. Son of a bitch I should have.
52:51
Known that the collector smoked King Midas's I'm going to.
52:53
Be honest, I kind of think you're leading the mom now.
52:56
I. Would like to yell out to Chad.
53:00
Oh my God, Retro. Thank you for joining us on our
53:37
adventure once again here at No Latency.
53:41
Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at No Latency Pod.
53:44
Check out our website at nolatencypodcast.com.
53:48
And if you'd like to support us further, we have a Patreon.
53:51
Get exclusive content, spin offs, bonus episodes of
53:54
bloopers, add free episodes and so much more with weekly content
53:58
to say thank you to our supporters and even spice up
54:01
your own Cyberpunk Red games at home.
54:04
No matter what level your support, thank you again so much
54:08
for listening. We literally couldn't do this
54:10
without you. And of course, we'll see you
54:13
next time in Night City. Thanks for listening, Jim.