Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Pastor John Gray lll Full Interview

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Pastor John Gray lll Full Interview · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

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  Speaker 1: heart or text I Heeart to five hundred, five hundred.
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  Speaker 1: My next guest has been on several tell those television shows,
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  Speaker 1: as well as a co host of Fox Networks talk
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  Speaker 1: show The Preachers, which I saw him All, which aired
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  Speaker 1: in the summer of He and his family are currently
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  Speaker 1: in the third season of their show The Book of
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  Speaker 1: John Gray, which airs on the Oprah Winfrey Network. We
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  Speaker 1: all knew that network. He was an Ebony Power one hundred,
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  Speaker 1: HONO read I want to be one of those one
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  Speaker 1: day and was inducted into the inaugural class of Oprah
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  Speaker 1: Winfrey's Super Soul one hundred. That's pretty powerful, that's pretty problem,
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  Speaker 1: that's pretty powerful. This young man's got it going home.
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  Speaker 1: He is on the show today to talk about his
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  Speaker 1: latest book, When I'm Within Again. He's on the show
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  Speaker 1: today to talk about his latest book, When from Within.
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  Speaker 1: He wants to help readers identify how best to handle
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  Speaker 1: the most difficult, challenging, and and yet necessary battles that
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  Speaker 1: we all face, our inner struggle to overcome the worst
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  Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. Jacob spent much of his life running
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  Speaker 1: and hiding from himself. At a certain point, we, like Jacob,
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  Speaker 1: cannot run from our true selves anymore. We must stop
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  Speaker 1: and face ourselves if we are to become great. His
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  Speaker 1: book When from Within helps It helps us now us
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  Speaker 1: conquer our inner darkness and overcome such hindrance as fear
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  Speaker 1: I talked about that earlier, shame and guilt he praised.
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  Speaker 1: You will find this powerfully biblical self help. God push
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  Speaker 1: you towards victory over your inner struggles. Please welcome to
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  Speaker 1: money making conversation. Some behind, I'm start on a long
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  Speaker 1: term rando to him in the airport a couple of
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  Speaker 1: a couple of months ago, Pastor John Gray the Third,
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  Speaker 1: be with you today, feeling good, feeling good man. You know, uh,
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  Speaker 1: actually the previous time I saw you was in Houston,
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  Speaker 1: on stage and and uh during the Super Bowl ceremony
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  Speaker 1: for BT it was the NFL A Croire celebration and
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  Speaker 1: Jolo Stings Church and you was crushing it man, he was,
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  Speaker 1: He's funny, you know that. Man. I was trying. They
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  Speaker 1: put me up there last minute. I was like, now,
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  Speaker 1: y'all got some other hosts. I won't have they checked.
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  Speaker 1: I just happened to be there. Oh my good you
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  Speaker 1: were you were there. But there's just been a journey man. Uh,
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  Speaker 1: you know the little side not about me and Pastor
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  Speaker 1: John graded Third Uh we met, Uh, just just I
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  Speaker 1: guess it was just one of those moments in life
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  Speaker 1: how you just meet people, and how my life has
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  Speaker 1: always been able to introduce people to their their course
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  Speaker 1: of life, their dream or or something they're trying to seek. Uh.
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  Speaker 1: Steve Harvey and I we were had a sold out
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  Speaker 1: show and uh at the New Jersey Pack so one
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  Speaker 1: of the best theaters in the country. And this young
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  Speaker 1: man came up to me. Didn't know him, didn't know him.
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  Speaker 1: And it was funny because Steve said, who is that?
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  Speaker 1: I said, he said, he's funny and he wants to
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  Speaker 1: go on stage. He said, what you're gonna do, I say, brother,
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  Speaker 1: everybody deserves a shot. And it was funny because you know,
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  Speaker 1: it's how life is. And he believe me, he was
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  Speaker 1: funny too. He was very funny. And just tell him
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  Speaker 1: to experience that. John Man. Uh, that was Rup Sack.
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  Speaker 1: I think it was a show for a hair care company. Absolutely,
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  Speaker 1: And and Darren said, John McGee, five minutes you know,
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  Speaker 1: to to open. And I'm sitting here and I'm looking
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  Speaker 1: at you. Already a legend. Steve Robber's back there, already
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  Speaker 1: a legend. And I'm sitting here and I got a
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  Speaker 1: one bad room apartment in South Jersey with a vote
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  Speaker 1: for a tourist in the back of n J pack
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  Speaker 1: And you know, it had to be two thousand two,
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  Speaker 1: maybe somewhere back then. I got up there and I
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  Speaker 1: did my piece. I came off stage. You should my said,
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  Speaker 1: a great job, great job, and he said, and Steve
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  Speaker 1: wants you to introduce him. And that was like the
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  Speaker 1: greatest honor to be able to stand amongst giants. And
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  Speaker 1: at that time I was a youth pastor that was
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  Speaker 1: doing like Christian comedy, family comedy. And we know, uncle Steve,
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  Speaker 1: he'll put some words together. They show um. But the
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  Speaker 1: fact that I was able to stand amongst the great, uh,
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  Speaker 1: and just to watch meant the world. The way you
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  Speaker 1: carried yourself, the suit you had on, the hat, the tie.
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  Speaker 1: I could go on and on. I remember those details
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  Speaker 1: because for me, and already I'm like getting emotional. But
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  Speaker 1: for me, when you don't have a father and don't
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  Speaker 1: have a father figure and don't have many of your life,
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  Speaker 1: you look to see what excellence looks like. And for me,
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  Speaker 1: my all I have is my heart. My heart is
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  Speaker 1: my commodity. As long as I keep my heart pure,
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  Speaker 1: I figured guy's gonna take me wherever he wants me
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  Speaker 1: to go. So on that day for you guys to
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  Speaker 1: accept me, we're saying, y'all see me right, that you
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  Speaker 1: guys find value in me, And that helped me. It
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  Speaker 1: propelled me, uh, and it gave me some confidence to
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  Speaker 1: keep going, push on through. And so I just had
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  Speaker 1: to say, you know how grateful I was for that experience.
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  Speaker 1: It was an eye opener, uh, and it was it
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  Speaker 1: was wonderful and just thank you, you know. And like
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  Speaker 1: I said, that's one of the blessings of my show
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  Speaker 1: that I started money making conversations that I hear these
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  Speaker 1: stories from from great individuals like you. And you're a
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  Speaker 1: great individual, believe me, my friend. And I feel I
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  Speaker 1: feel fortunate that I had a place in your life,
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  Speaker 1: a positive place in your life. But when he went
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  Speaker 1: on stage, it wasn't even a second thought about giving
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  Speaker 1: him that opportunity. And that's all. That's how my heart works.
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  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't believe that I give people opportunities
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  Speaker 1: to fail. I believe them giving the opportunities to win.
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  Speaker 1: And uh. And I think that's a great transition to
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  Speaker 1: what this book about is by when from what? In which?
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  Speaker 1: When I read the book, John, um, you know you
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  Speaker 1: kick it off. You know, you come right out with
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  Speaker 1: the truth about the wife and the kids walking out
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  Speaker 1: that door, you know, and and and but as you
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  Speaker 1: as you read this book, it's like he started at
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  Speaker 1: the end to get to the beginning, Am I correct? Right?
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  Speaker 1: That's right, that's right. I wanted to get people's attention.
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  Speaker 1: A lot of times when I read books, people start
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  Speaker 1: off all start off, all soft and tender, and you know,
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  Speaker 1: see the best about him. I wanted you to see
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  Speaker 1: I'm starting off as a mess, because to me, that's
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  Speaker 1: more relatable. I don't, I don't I don't believe necessarily
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  Speaker 1: in the concept of you know, this idea of self help,
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  Speaker 1: Like there's a ton of self help books in the bookstore.
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  Speaker 1: The thing is, if they worked, there wouldn't be a
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  Speaker 1: self help section as the first book you read with
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  Speaker 1: the word Instead of me saying, let me, let me
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  Speaker 1: help you with my expertise, let me help you with
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  Speaker 1: my broken this let me lead from my scars. And
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  Speaker 1: I feel like if I lead from my scars and
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  Speaker 1: lead from my wounds, then you immediately are disarmed because
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  Speaker 1: you don't have to be perfect to read this book.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, the more broken you are, the more hope
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  Speaker 1: you'll receive, you sir, And I believe that. Here's the
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  Speaker 1: thing that I really liked about the book was that
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  Speaker 1: because I have a quote always tell me that money
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  Speaker 1: is not happiness. Happiness is happiness. And he he coined
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  Speaker 1: that his own version. When he talks about winning, he said,
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  Speaker 1: winning is not tied to financial gains or physical success,
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  Speaker 1: when is tied to God. And I felt that that
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  Speaker 1: was really powerful when you stated that, because it slowed
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  Speaker 1: me down for a minute to understand this. When I
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  Speaker 1: look back at my life, like even that when I
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  Speaker 1: first met him, I was tied to how many tickets
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  Speaker 1: I sold, how Steve will be introduced, how look you know,
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  Speaker 1: because the focus was on image, the success and what
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  Speaker 1: he's saying. As I look back on it, and I
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  Speaker 1: tell you guys on my show all the time that
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  Speaker 1: I failed to understand a balanced life. And that's what
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  Speaker 1: his book is about. It's about that balanced life. That's
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  Speaker 1: why his wife and kids walked out that door, because
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  Speaker 1: he forgot about a balanced life. And winning two material
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  Speaker 1: things is not a balanced life, That's right. And I
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  Speaker 1: think for me, the idea of you know, financial success
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  Speaker 1: or material success comes from not having all the things
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  Speaker 1: I wanted when I was growing up. And so you work,
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  Speaker 1: you work, you work, and these things, but then you
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  Speaker 1: have the things that now you're empty. You're trying to
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  Speaker 1: figure out how come I'm not happy still? You know,
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  Speaker 1: I have the ability to pay my bills, you know,
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  Speaker 1: I'm living in a nice home, and I have these things,
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  Speaker 1: but there's something still here. And what what went from
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  Speaker 1: within highlights is that there's a god sized hole in
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  Speaker 1: every human being that only God can feel, and out
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  Speaker 1: of his love he will allow us to search everything
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  Speaker 1: else and then come to him to see He's what
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  Speaker 1: we needed entire That's what I'm talking about. That's what
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  Speaker 1: I'm talking on the phone, is uh, I want to
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  Speaker 1: come to a good friend. Pastor John Great Third, he's
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  Speaker 1: talking about his book When from Within. When we get back,
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  Speaker 1: I'm gonna asking the more questions. We're gonna talk about
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  Speaker 1: that stew The steward is no joke. And my weariness
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  Speaker 1: that he talks about being weary and how you feel weary.
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  Speaker 1: Money making conversation right back. I just ra Sean McDonald.
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  Speaker 1: You're listening to Money Making Conversation on the phone. We're
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: talking about his book When from Within, where he helps
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  Speaker 1: us conquer our inner darkness and overcomes such hindrance as fear, shame,
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  Speaker 1: and guilt. Um Pastor John Grater third, praise you will
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  Speaker 1: find this powerful biblical self help God push you towards
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: victory over your inner struggles. And when I when I
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  Speaker 1: when I was talking about inner struggles, it's it's amazing
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  Speaker 1: how people view people as who are successful is not
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: having problems. You know, people are successful don't have problems.
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  Speaker 1: Who don't have money problems? We don't you know, if
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  Speaker 1: you should have no social problems, always have the right
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  Speaker 1: female or male partner in your life. And that's really
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  Speaker 1: what you was talking about in this book is a
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  Speaker 1: lot of is a lot of blinders that have put
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  Speaker 1: on people when they're successful that can cause a huge
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  Speaker 1: detchment in their long and long term success emotionally with
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  Speaker 1: the people they love. Correct, that's right, that's right. I
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  Speaker 1: think the part of the book that that really speaks
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  Speaker 1: to me is not just the title, but the subtitle
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  Speaker 1: when from within finding yourself by facing yourself. And I
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  Speaker 1: think for me, there are so many things that I've
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  Speaker 1: run from. I've run from intimacy, I've run from responsibility
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  Speaker 1: at times in my life, I've run from accountability. I've
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  Speaker 1: run from identity. And it's because of the fear of
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  Speaker 1: being exposed, and not exposed in the sense of people,
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  Speaker 1: but being fully revealed what's there at the core of
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  Speaker 1: who I am. And I think that that's a challenge,
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  Speaker 1: particularly for men, uh that that we're searching for identity,
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  Speaker 1: I'm searching for purpose. And I paralleled my life with
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  Speaker 1: the life of Jacob from the Bible, who took his
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  Speaker 1: brother's birthright, but then he had to run for years
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  Speaker 1: because he truthfully didn't feel like he deserved it, and
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  Speaker 1: the only way he became who he was called to
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  Speaker 1: be is when he wrestled. And I think the great
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  Speaker 1: challenge of manhood is wrestling with those areas that we
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  Speaker 1: would much rather run from. And I think for me,
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  Speaker 1: whether I was looking for a validation in my marriage
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  Speaker 1: or as a father or as a preacher, none of
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  Speaker 1: those things could satisfy me until I began to love me,
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  Speaker 1: to me, at to be okay with my with my
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  Speaker 1: strengths and my limitations, you know. And we just started
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  Speaker 1: talking about weariness and I and I talked to my friends,
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  Speaker 1: I talked to my staff. Is that you know, I'm
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  Speaker 1: always pushing my body like today, you know, I was
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  Speaker 1: in Los Angeles, landed at five twenty. I'm still grinding
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  Speaker 1: right now and I probably won't go to bed at ten.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm that guy. I don't drink coffee. I just
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  Speaker 1: you know, I just take to what the strength and
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  Speaker 1: gifts that God gave me, and I just pushed through
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  Speaker 1: it in a very positive way. But I know that
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  Speaker 1: when I'm at this weariness stage in life, I eat
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  Speaker 1: the wrong things. That's when I eat crazy. I eat
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  Speaker 1: I just I just grabbed donuts or I just grabbed
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  Speaker 1: candy and I just will consume it. And I know
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  Speaker 1: that's not right, but that's the that's the part where
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  Speaker 1: weirdiness would bring you, is to take you to a
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  Speaker 1: state where you're doing things that are dysfunctional to the
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  Speaker 1: positive side of your life. And that's I'm telling you.
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  Speaker 1: Some man, I was reading your book, past just tell
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  Speaker 1: you you was in some notes for me, brother, I
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  Speaker 1: have I have this well, I have this uh. I
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  Speaker 1: have this uh in my back of my horse, I
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  Speaker 1: have this a rock right next to the lake. And
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  Speaker 1: you know when when every when times were always tough
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  Speaker 1: for me, I would not when it when it was
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  Speaker 1: when you know in life, you know this, Pastor John,
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  Speaker 1: is that sometimes only you can make that decision. You
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  Speaker 1: can you can see counseling, you can talk to friends,
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  Speaker 1: but that ultimate decision has to be made with you.
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  Speaker 1: And so when you're making a decision, it's only one
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  Speaker 1: person you're making that decision with. That's God. A lot
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  Speaker 1: of people don't understand that. And when I would go,
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  Speaker 1: when I go to that rock and sit down, that's
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  Speaker 1: all I'm talking about. That's what I'm looking at that water,
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  Speaker 1: I'm looking at God, I'm looking at that grass I'm
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  Speaker 1: looking at myself. I'm looking at I'm looking at my reflection.
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  Speaker 1: And so when you're talking about that weariness, man, that's
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  Speaker 1: what you're talking That's a very powerful statement that you're
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  Speaker 1: talking about. That they expound on that a little bit
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  Speaker 1: for is their pastor well this this idea of when
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: you talk about weary, people need to understand there's a
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  Speaker 1: difference between being tired, being sleepy being weary, because being
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  Speaker 1: tired means you need rest, means sleepy means you need
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  Speaker 1: sleep mean weary need means you need to have your
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  Speaker 1: soul replenish. Because when you're weary, you've actually taken from
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  Speaker 1: the substance of who you are and giving it to
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  Speaker 1: people and haven't received in return. When you do that,
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  Speaker 1: those are upside down transactions. And what happens is you
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  Speaker 1: will feed on things you talked about, natural food like donnuts, candy.
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  Speaker 1: You'll feed on empty calories that usually satisfy you. That's
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  Speaker 1: how David ended up with Bad sheepa he was weary. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: that's how Sampson ended up with Delilah. He was weary.
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  Speaker 1: Because when you get so weary that you don't see
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  Speaker 1: right from wrong, you start making bad decisions, and it's
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  Speaker 1: not because you want to fail. It's actually because you
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  Speaker 1: want to heal and don't know how to do it
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  Speaker 1: the right way. See, I'm tired of people bashing people
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  Speaker 1: because they make bad decisions. Nobody wakes up in the
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  Speaker 1: morning saying I can't wait to fail my family. We
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  Speaker 1: are all human and we have challenges, difficulties, and we
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  Speaker 1: make bad decisions, and many of them are because we're
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  Speaker 1: weary and we're trying to figure out how to get
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  Speaker 1: back to the place called balance, and balance is and
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  Speaker 1: and balances and illusion Rashan, let me just say this.
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  Speaker 1: When people are like, how do you find the balance
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  Speaker 1: between ministry and family, there is no such thing because
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  Speaker 1: balance means both things are equal. Ministry can never weigh
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  Speaker 1: more than my wife and kids, and it did. That's
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  Speaker 1: why my wife was like, I'm going to my mama's
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  Speaker 1: house because you're married to the church and you're dating
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  Speaker 1: your family. And so for me, I needed to re
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  Speaker 1: calibrate and say this family that God has blessed me with,
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  Speaker 1: these two children, that these blessed me with, even though
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  Speaker 1: I feel inadequate as a husband and as a father,
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  Speaker 1: because I never saw that I need to put my
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  Speaker 1: roots down and start building right here, because if I
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  Speaker 1: make decisions when I'm weary, I'm gonna lose it all.
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  Speaker 1: And nobody will know that what I did wasn't because
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  Speaker 1: I was in lust or in addiction, because I was weary.
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  Speaker 1: So I got some therapists and I and I got
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  Speaker 1: a Bible, and I got some prayer and I did
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  Speaker 1: all three of them. And I'm not ashamed to say it.
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  Speaker 1: Come on, and when when he talks about weariness with Samson,
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  Speaker 1: Samson total his strength was his hair. God bless him said,
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  Speaker 1: long as you don't put the razor to your hair,
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  Speaker 1: you would have strength. He's weariness. He gave the lie
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: of the truth. Now on David instead of going off
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: the war. He up there on top of his palace,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: looking around. He looked over as he but she obathing.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: He telling him to bring her to him, and they
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: have they make love or sex. You know what I'm saying.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: So that's the weariness he's talking about, because you you
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: make decisions that aren't right for yourself, but you do
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: them anyway, because guess what you weary. Come on, man,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: you're about to have me start preaching with you. Man,
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: I'm about to start preaching. Man, come on, now, come on, now,
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: they the beauty of That's what I said without reading
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: this book. Man, It's like, here's this is what I
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: wrote this out of the book. It says it's the stew.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: He said, the stew, and then he's gonna explain to
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: you what the stew is. The stew is no joke.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: It tastes good going down. It's a tasty death. It's
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: a tasty end. You dab the corners of your mouth
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: because it satisfies in that moment, in an instant though
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: everything that has changed, it's all gone. Talk about that,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Stu Pastor, I'm getting ready to go read my book again. Um.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: There was a moment in the lives of Jacob and Esaw.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: For those who may not be familiar with the biblical narrative,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Jacob and Saw were twin brothers. He Saw came out first.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Jacob grabbed his heel as he was coming out of
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: the womb. That the name Jacob means he'll grabb her
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: or replacement or supplanter. And it was the fulfillment of
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: a prophety that was given to the mother that said
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: two nations are in your womb and the older shall
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: serve the younger. And so Jacob was was basically his
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: whole life trying to up end his brother or outdo
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: his brother. But he didn't have his brother's strength, and
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: he didn't have his father's favor. And so at one
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: point Esau, who was very impetuous, and he moved in
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: the moment, came back from hunting, and he was exhausted
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: and he was hungry, and he said to his brother,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: fixed me some of that stew. Let me get a
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: bowl of that stew you've made. And Jacob said, I'll
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: give you some stew if you sell me your birthright. Now,
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: in ancient Hebrew times, selling your birthright was a kind
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: of dishonoring your parents, dishonoring God. It's dishonoring your identity.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Your birthright means you've got a double portion of a blessing.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: You've got favor for the rest of your life and
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: your kids. And so in a moment of temporary hunger,
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Esau made an eternal decision. And so the stew represents
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: anything that wants you to eat it right now without
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: understanding that it's gonna cost you for the rest of
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: your life. So stew for Esau. Actually it tasted good
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: while he ate it, but nothing was ever the same.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: He lost his birthright, he lost his identity, and he
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: lost his favor. For those who read the Bible, God
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: introduces himself to Moses as the god of Abraham, Isaac
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: and Jacob. It should have been Abraham, Isaac and Esau.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: But Esol shows to sell his birthright, and therefore he
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: gave up his identity and then got made and they
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: had to go run, had to run, fell on that
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: rock and went to sleep. That came an altard. This
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: for a book. I've had this for read because it's
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: like reading a Bible. I love it because like a
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: refresher course, you know, because of the fact that when
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: you're going through a well written book allows you to
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: experience something, also allows you to realize that this is
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: something that's important in your life. And then when you
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: read this book, you realize how important the Bible lives
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: in your life. Uh, pastor John Grade three, I really
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: want to appreciate you. I really want appreciate you coming
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: on the show man and uh allowing me to read
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: your book and it promote your book and sell the
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: values of your book, because it's important when you write
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: these books, and I know he does a lot of
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: these shows. Equal important. He knows that I've read his book,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: and I appreciate the value what he brought to the table. Amen,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: thank you for shining, for allowing me to be on
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: your platform. Thank you for being my in through these years.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Thank you for opening that door, and and and and
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: speaking likelyly all those years ago. Just to pray that
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: this book is a blessing to you and to all
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: of your listeners and supporters. I really do want them
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: to get it. It is a life changing read. I
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: believe that I appreciate your brother, Pastor John. Listening makes
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: us smarter, more connected people. It makes us better partners, parents,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: and leaders. And there's no better place to start listening
• 21:26
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• 21:30
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