Latest / ✨️Aligned and Thriving: For Teachers🌿 / 💆‍♀️Self-Care Series: Behaviour Burnout 😩

Transcript

💆‍♀️Self-Care Series: Behaviour Burnout 😩 · ✨️Aligned and Thriving: For Teachers🌿

• 0:05
  Hey, hey, and welcome back to another episode of Aligned and
• 0:09
  Thriving for Teachers, the podcasts where we remind you
• 0:12
  that you are doing enough, you're not alone.
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  And yes, it's totally normal to question all of your life
• 0:20
  choices after that grade 4 meltdown in your second lesson
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  of the day. I'm Mel, and today we're diving
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  into another big one, and this is about behaviour management
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  burnout. Now, if you've ever ended your
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  school day emotionally drained, with your jaw clenched, your
• 0:37
  heart racing and wondering why your entire job feels like your
• 0:41
  crisis control, this episode is for you.
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  Because let's be real, it is not the Lesson plan that breaks you.
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  It's the constant managing of behaviour.
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  From calling out to meltdowns, disrespect, refusal, power
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  struggles and just the constant vigilance.
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  It's a lot. So today we're going to unpack
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  it, validate it and give you some mindset and practical tools
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  to help reclaim your calm. So let's just say it's straight,
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  ignoring the bashing in the background.
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  I allowed my husband to take out some doors and somehow I've
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  ended up with walls missing now too.
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  So yeah, we made renovations. So please excuse the hammering
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  or loud noises if you can hear them in the background of
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  today's podcast. You just get to experience my
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  life. I'm hiding away in my little
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  space of calm, also known as my office space.
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  And we will see how we go. But I really wanted to record
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  this message for you today so that we don't miss out on things
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  because I believe this, this is really important and this is a
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  message I want to share. So let's start with the
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  emotional cost of behaviour management.
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  We're not trained psychologists. OK, Well, you might be, but I'm
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  not. We're not trauma therapists.
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  Again, you might know about trauma informed practise, but we
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  are expected to handle intense behaviours with patients,
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  empathy and our own perfect regulation and often with very
• 2:16
  little backup. The behaviours that teachers are
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  saying right now are not just kids being cheeky, we're talking
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  about severe dysregulation, verbal and sometimes physical
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  aggression, kids masking, neurodivergence until they
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  explode. I'm actually a parent to one of
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  those children living through trauma, neglect, chaos, and
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  guess who? They get to unleash it all on
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  you. What joy.
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  So why does it hit so hard? Because it's not just about
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  managing the moment. It's about all the emotional
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  aftermath, the guilt you feel for yelling back, the
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  overthinking on your drive home, the what else could I have done
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  spiral feeling like nothing you do actually works.
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  It chips away at your confidence, your patience, and
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  your love for the job. And it's not you.
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  Let me just say it out loud. You are not a bad teacher if
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  your class is struggling. You are not failing because you
• 3:20
  cried in the car. You are not weak for asking for
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  help. You are navigating complete
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  complex behaviours with very limited tools in a system that
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  just isn't built for it. And yet you're still showing up.
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  And that's what matters. It's important.
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  So let's focus on a little less fixing and more containing.
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  You're not here to fix every child.
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  You're here to hold space, set boundaries and model regulation.
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  What that might look like is saying I can't let you speak to
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  me like that and walking away. It might be offering two calm
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  choices. Sit at your desk or take a break
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  outside. Or you might have some other
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  options within your school framework.
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  Protecting the rest of your class while managing 1
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  dysregulated student might be staying neutral when everything
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  in you wants to just yell. You are not responsible for
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  every reaction, but you are responsible for your response.
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  So what are some micro practises to help you decompress during
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  the day because you can't just hold your breath until 3:30.
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  You might try some of these. A grounding mantra like I am
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  safe, I am calm, I don't need to absorb this energy.
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  You could shake it off, bring some Tay Tay into the world, go
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  into the bathroom and literally shake your arms.
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  Jump up side out, give yourself a whole body jiggle.
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  Sorry I jiggled when I did that. You can put cold water on your
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  wrists, that will help reset naturally your nervous system.
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  Or you might just step outside for a minute during recess, even
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  if it is just to breathe in fresh air.
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  You need these micro mini recovery moments throughout your
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  day, not just at the end of term.
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  So what about some quick wins to help you feel a little bit more
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  like you're in control of your classroom?
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  You might use visual reminders like rules or expectations that
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  you've written with your class. You might have a calming corner
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  or a calming space. You might use brain breaks.
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  I know I love a good brain break and I love to actually join in
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  with the kids too. Who doesn't love daddy go guys?
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  I mean come on, secretly you all love it.
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  It really brings out those old ex nightclub girl dancing vibes.
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  Or am I just speaking from my own life experience here?
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  Maybe you might need to document only what's really necessary.
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  So don't fall into that trap of over reporting, but just doing
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  what you need to do. You might ask for support, so
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  from leadership or your TA or just getting a colleague to step
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  in if you need to tap out. It's the same thing.
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  And I'm talking from a parent perspective that when you're
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  parenting a child and you have literally buttered head to head
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  with your child and you just can't do it anymore and then you
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  step out and the next parent steps in and it changes
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  everything. It just breaks that circuit.
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  You might need to do that with a colleague within the classroom
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  space too. You might use a reward system
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  that's really simple but consistent.
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  I mean guys, Teamu, way to go. So easy.
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  And you might have a reset routine after a really hard
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  lesson. You might play music, you might
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  tidy up, you might do some breathing.
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  But there's lots of different strategies and I'm sure every
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  school has their own policy around maybe positive behaviour
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  management and that you can adapt and change to use within
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  your classroom space too. But you need to have some
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  compassion for yourself too. So this job takes heart.
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  It takes courage for you to walk back into a room when things
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  went absolutely sideways yesterday, but you keep turning
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  up. It takes love to keep trying
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  with that kid who told you yesterday that they hated you.
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  I mean, I experienced this with our own child.
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  His go to message for certain things is I hate you.
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  We know that he doesn't mean those words and he does
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  apologise for them later, but that's the go to because he
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  knows that words hurt. And at that point in time, he's
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  so heightened and dysregulated that he can't really control
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  what's going on. And so his function is, I'm just
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  going to say this because you'll go away, you'll leave me alone
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  or I'll get what I want. It's all of those things.
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  What, what is the child actually asking for in that moment?
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  And that's what you've got to step back and disconnect from
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  and try and make those connections of no, no, no, do
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  not take that to heart on you. That's not on you.
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  They don't hate you just need, they just need that chance to
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  regulate their emotions and things.
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  So don't take that on. It takes strength to regulate
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  when your brain is screaming. So please don't take all of that
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  on. Let me say this to you again,
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  like you are doing so much better than you think,
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  especially if you are turning up again the next day, hitting the
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  reset button, ready to go again. But behaviour management
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  burnout, it's real, it's emotional and you're not failing
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  like you're navigating a job with some really unrealistic
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  expectations sort of given to you by, I don't know, I don't
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  want to say it's given to us by a department or policies,
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  procedures, all of those things that may be out of touch with
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  what's actually going on within a classroom space.
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  So sometimes it feels really, really difficult.
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  But you're allowed to feel, you are allowed to take breaks and
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  you're allowed to set limits. Those little micro practises
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  that I talk about in all of these little episodes, they
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  matter. So choose something and start
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  doing it. Even if it is taking 3 deep
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  breaths before you walk into your classroom every day,
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  setting an affirmation for your class every day.
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  Go back and listen to the Manifesting a Better Term and
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  see if that helps you work within your classroom space.
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  But the compassion for your students, it all starts with
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  compassion for yourself. OK, I've talked about this
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  nearly every single episode that it all starts with you.
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  You need to fill your cup and be overflowing so you can step into
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  that classroom with those challenging kids and you can
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  tackle that behaviour and you can start making an actual real
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  difference. So if you're getting to that
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  point where you are feeling utterly burnt out, then stop and
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  focus on you. Start putting some of those
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  micro practises into place. Do yourself care and then you
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  can actually start making these amazing changes within your
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  classroom space. It's just going to be so good
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  because you are going to be aligned with yourself and then
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  you can thrive in your environment.
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  That's why I called this podcast Aligned and Thriving or Teachers
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  for Educators. But yeah, pretty much anyone can
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  listen to this and apply it to your life too.
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  Because no matter what, everyone needs to focus on themselves 1st
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  and their self care and then moving from there.
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  You can just move mountains really once you've looked after
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  yourself and done all the things that you need to do.
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  So if this episode resonated with you, make sure you
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  screenshot, share it with someone who you think needs to
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  hear it. It's only a short little
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  episode, just takes a couple of minutes out of your day.
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  And it could make the world a difference to somebody because
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  it might just be the thing that they need to hear.
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  So let's normalise this conversation and until next
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  time, let's keep aligned, keep thriving, go and focus on some
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  of those self care rituals that I talk about in all of these
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  episodes and I will talk to you again next time.
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  Bye, guys.