Latest / Mindful You / Embracing Liberation: A Journey Towards Psychological Healing, Spiritual Awakening, And Soul Recollection With Nicole Kerr

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Embracing Liberation: A Journey Towards Psychological Healing, Spiritual Awakening, And Soul Recollection With Nicole Kerr · Mindful You

0:04
Alan Carroll: Welcome back to the mindful U podcast. My name
0:11
is Alan Carroll. And I'm your host, as we journey together,
0:18
meeting fellow travelers on the path on the path of building a
0:26
bridge between the egoic identity and the more mindful
0:34
identity of the of the being. And today's guest, Nicole Coker.
0:43
She has a, a an incredible, incredible story. She has
0:52
experienced the Near Death Experiences called nd e near
0:59
death experiences several times. And when she has passed over in
1:06
those near death experiences, which are recorded medically in
1:09
the hospital, she makes contact with guides and spirits who are
1:17
there and absolute love and support. And the incredible
1:24
crash that occurred when she was a late teenager at the United
1:29
States Air Force Academy, and the traumatic things that it did
1:35
to her body. And she wanted to leave. And every time she wanted
1:39
to leave the people on the other side said, Hey, no, it's not
1:42
your time. Gotta come back and, and be of service. He has
1:49
written a book. And the book title is you are deathless. So
1:58
death is like an illusion. There's something there beyond
2:02
death. She has a neuro emotional technique that she's going to
2:07
talk to us about, on how you can also make contact and connect
2:15
and relax your own body. And maybe even make contact with
2:20
that near death experience that you don't have to get near death
2:25
experience. But you can begin to taste what it's like to spend
2:29
more time in that mindful state of consciousness by tuning in to
2:34
your body and being present in this moment. So I'm just excited
2:40
to be able to share with you today, Nicole Kerr and have her
2:45
share her story with us. It's quite inspirational. So please
2:48
welcome the call to the mindful you podcast. Nicole, welcome to
2:59
the mindful you podcast. exciting to be see you today.
3:03
And I'm excited about our conversation about near death
3:07
experiences. And you're somebody who's had one of those. And, and
3:12
one of the questions that I I usually ask the guest is that
3:16
there's always a story, there's always an event, there's always
3:19
a moment in which you woke up and realize that what you were
3:23
thinking before or how you've structured things before is not
3:28
the truth. There's another reality. But most most people
3:32
are including myself, of course, we're stuck in a reality. And
3:36
we're trying to bang the door to figure out a way of opening it
3:38
up and say, oh, okay, there's enough. I know this place
3:42
existed. However, I was stuck down here. And it sounds like,
3:46
you know, in a more tragic way you penetrated through the door,
3:50
and you got to experience that. And boy, I'd love to hear that.
3:53
That's that story. So go take the mic. Have fun with it.
3:57
Nicole Kerr: I am delighted to be on your show. And I'm very
4:00
grateful to be on it and to share my story. And I hope it
4:03
helps your listeners, because I didn't think that I was going to
4:07
die at age 19. In fact, nobody does. And so your show mindful,
4:12
you know now mindful about death. And I know that sounds we
4:17
think of death as gloom and doom and morbid. But we are all going
4:22
to die. It is the only shared experience that everybody in
4:26
this planet is going to have used to be death and taxes. But
4:29
now we see people getting out of taxes. But this happened to me.
4:34
My sophomore year at the United States Air Force Academy, and I
4:38
was getting a ride back with we were at a squadron event and I
4:43
just asked to senior to have you know, can you take me back to
4:45
the academy? Everybody else's left and he's like Sure. And he
4:50
wanted to stop and have a couple of beers and I was raised in the
4:54
south the Bible Belt very conservative my dad I'd never
4:57
been on a date he did not believe in Dating. So now I go
5:01
to school with 4000 Guys and his his, his rules to me are no
5:05
smoking, no drinking and no dating and essence no fun at all
5:09
and okay. So on this particular ride home, he said, let's stop
5:16
and have a couple of beers. I was like, oh, okay, I'm gonna
5:19
have some fun in my life, you know, we want to have a
5:21
cigarette. Oh, sure, you know, and, and then he wanted to stop
5:26
and make out and I was like, Oh, we're getting into some
5:30
territory. I don't want to I don't know you. So we got back
5:33
up on the road again. And then that was the last thing I
5:37
remember is getting back on the road. And then I woke up in the
5:42
ICU at Penrose community hospital the next morning, and
5:46
my mind actually had amnesia I was, I blanked out from that
5:52
moment of getting back in the car, to waking up in the ICU.
5:57
For 19 years, my memory was only a bright, white light. And if
6:03
anybody knows anything about near death experiences, that is
6:07
the most common symptom or experience that people share, is
6:12
this tunnel, this bright white light that they see or go
6:16
through? And that's all I remembered. And I remembered
6:19
asking my surgeon was that the operating room lights? Did I
6:22
wake up? At some point? She said, No, you were totally
6:26
unconscious. I was pronounced dead at the scene of the
6:30
accident. And I know this is audio, but I'm going to send you
6:35
the picture. And maybe you can put it in the show notes.
6:39
Because the picture describes 1000 words. It's also on my
6:42
website. That was a 1965 Corvette convertible. That was
6:46
the passenger side. And as the trooper said, that is
6:51
unsurvivable. And for me, it was unsurvivable. For the driver, he
6:56
got out with the minor injuries turned out he was drunk. I did
7:00
not know that. And needless to say, I was pronounced dead at
7:05
the scene. The first responders got there between 10 and 13
7:09
minutes after a 911 call was made. This is out in Monument
7:14
Colorado, the Air Force Academy is in Colorado Springs. And so
7:18
when the first responder got there, they had a blanket
7:22
covering me up he took it off, could not get any vitals on me.
7:26
And the only thing left for him to do was something called a
7:30
sternal knuckle press, which is designed to elicit pain in the
7:34
body. So they go up your sternum with their knuckles, and it is
7:37
very painful. And the only sign of life they got out of me was
7:42
my right pupil dilated. You think about that? No, no pulse,
7:47
no nothing. And at that moment, my soul which had already left
7:53
my body, on impact, when I went through the windshield and went
7:57
up into the air, I later remembered my energy body
8:01
cracking open and my soul left and went to the other side.
8:06
Okay, I had a conversation on the other side, which I'll tell
8:10
you about. But then they told me I was coming back. So in order
8:14
for my soul to come back into my body, it came in through my
8:18
eyes. Have you ever heard of that saying our eyes are the
8:22
window to our souls? Yes, ma'am. I
8:25
Alan Carroll: certainly have. That is exactly
8:28
Unknown: what I'm talking about. Okay, so it came back in at that
8:33
moment, he was able to get a blood pressure on me of 60 over
8:36
zero now that's still almost death, but it's better than
8:40
nothing. They got me in the ambulance put these masked pants
8:44
on me which forced all the blood up to my organs because I had
8:49
lost so much blood that I was bleeding from the balloons at
8:53
that point. They did CPR on me the entire 20 minutes to get me
8:59
to the nearest Community Hospital. Okay, if you know
9:03
about CPR, CPR to be done for 20 minutes is a long time for a
9:08
person. Okay, so they got me into the AOR. And that night,
9:13
they just tried to stabilize me and it took them all night to do
9:16
that. I had massive injuries. I spent four months in the
9:21
hospital six major operations, I coded on the second operation.
9:28
They were going in for an emergency surgery. And on the
9:32
way to the operating room, they were having to do CPR, I was
9:35
already starting to leave again. And I got into the O R and my
9:42
heart just gave out and so they called the time of death. This
9:45
was two weeks after the accident. So I what I'm saying
9:48
here is I had multiple near death experiences. It wasn't
9:51
just the one with the accident. And in that one I tried to leave
9:57
again I wanted to go back to that white light that was Oh,
10:00
beautiful and just, you know, loving kindness, peace, no pain,
10:06
no suffering, no negativity, I was trying to get back there.
10:10
And my angel came back again and said, Nope, you're getting back
10:14
in this body. And I knew it was going to be painful and
10:17
suffering. And that's why I didn't want to keep coming back.
10:20
And so I did my heart. After they call time of death until my
10:26
parents I passed away. Two minutes later, my heart started
10:31
up again, on its own. So these are things like just like my
10:35
soul coming back in these are supernatural, mystical,
10:41
spiritual things that we have no medical, scientific reasons why
10:48
these things happened. And I know that the other side beyond
10:54
the veil, the spiritual side is real, and it works on our
10:59
behalf. And then I had one more near death experience in the
11:03
hospital from my lungs, filling up with fluid, and so I was
11:09
suffocating. And so once again, they couldn't kept draining my
11:13
lungs, they kept filling up, and I just was like, I'm out of
11:15
here. So I just left my body. And then they finally gave me a
11:20
diuretic, and I peed off three quarts of fluid. And my, it all
11:24
started, you know, coming back again. But it ain't but my
11:29
doctor who is at six years old now. And I just interviewed her,
11:33
she remembers that. And she just said, you know, you were always
11:39
in a life and death situation for the first seven weeks in
11:44
ICU, and then you started to stabilize and get better, but
11:47
you still had a couple of more scares. So it was a long
11:52
recovery for me. My mother did come out and stay with me. And
11:57
when the doctor told her I needed mental health help, she
12:00
looked at him and said, Jesus is our psychologist, Nicole is
12:04
going to be just fine. And I have to tell your audience, that
12:08
was not true. Okay, I needed help. I went through a massive
12:14
trauma. And Jesus never came down and sat at the sofa and
12:18
said, Nicole, let's talk about your PTSD, your depression, your
12:21
anxiety, your need to control things, all of these mental
12:25
health health symptoms that I was having. And so I will tell
12:31
you, as a result of not getting help, at the beginning, I
12:35
developed an eating disorder. Okay, compulsive eating is what
12:39
it was known back in the 80s. But now it's binge eating
12:42
disorder. So trauma, trauma, untreated, is going to develop
12:49
and a negative physical response in your body is going to try to
12:55
cope with it, but it's going to be in a negative way. And so it
12:59
took me 20 years to work through that eating disorder and get to
13:03
the root of the pain, and the self hate and everything that
13:06
was tied into it. And so it's not just when I look at my
13:13
crash, and going to the oversight to the other side, my
13:17
book talks about my journey of 40 years now that I have lived
13:24
with the having to go through all these different phases of
13:29
recovery, and the physical realm, and the mental realm and
13:34
the emotional realm. And now I have been in the spiritual
13:39
realm, really connecting to my soul to my guides to my angels.
13:46
And there is a thing that is real called soul loss. And that
13:53
is when your soul as a result of trauma fragments. And I didn't
13:59
know about this until 2019, when I went to see a shaman. And he
14:04
said, Nicole, we need to do what we call a soul retrieval and
14:07
bring these fragmented parts back together. Because every
14:12
time you get triggered and you get in fear, you have another
14:17
part of you that just flies away. So you're not staying
14:20
grounded. You don't want to be here. And so there is I can talk
14:25
a lot more about that. But it's a real thing. And unfortunately,
14:30
we have 22 veterans commit suicide each day in the United
14:35
States. And I think a big part of this is this soul loss park
14:40
that they go and they're trained to kill, they go over to the
14:43
theater and they get into you know, war and they kill people.
14:49
They see people kill they see their their mates killed, and
14:53
they don't know from a soul part, how to reconnect
14:57
themselves back and get an alliance Meant to heal that
15:02
wound it just like a flesh wound needs healing, a mental health
15:06
wound needs healing, a soul wound needs healing as well in
15:11
order for you to come back together in alignment.
15:16
Alan Carroll: Wow. That's quite a, that's quite a, a, an
15:23
adventure tale, a tale of adventure, a tragedy, a, an out
15:27
of the tragedy out of the mud comes the comes, the lotus
15:30
flower comes the blooming of the light. And now you have paid the
15:36
price for a lot of people who don't want to pay that price.
15:39
But you've paid that price psychologically, physically,
15:42
emotionally and spiritually in order to attain a level of
15:45
awareness that gives you credibility and trying to
15:50
support people. And Okay guys, here we are now, what can we
15:55
what can we do to reduce the psychological suffering that you
16:02
are experiencing, and only if you could connect to that space
16:07
of a divinity? Will you have the insight to realize the the Unity
16:15
rather than the separation that exists here, beyond the
16:20
illusion, so to speak of what you think is here. And so it's
16:25
wonderful, because you've gone, you've done a dance, you've done
16:29
a dance with the with the divinity and the physical, the
16:33
divinity and the physical, the divinity and the physical. And
16:37
that's a wonderful dance, to be able to teach people how to take
16:41
those to take those steps.
16:44
Unknown: That's why I say I went through from a near death
16:47
experience to spiritually transformative experience. And
16:51
when you undergo a transformation, it's not meant
16:55
to be easy, okay. And it's meant to be a time in your life, where
17:01
you're looking at limiting beliefs that are keeping you
17:05
stuck, and keeping you from being able to be the person that
17:10
you were born to be. We all are born with spiritual amnesia, we
17:14
have forgotten where we came from, and who we are, that we
17:19
are these infinite, powerful, limitless, radiant, glorious and
17:23
eternal beings, meaning that soul part of us goes on and on
17:29
and on upon death, yes, your physical body is going to decay,
17:35
but your soul is everlasting. It goes on, and when I remembered
17:41
my crash 19 years later, okay, so I just got on with life, and
17:48
went to work at the Centers for Disease Control, I got into
17:52
nutrition, thinking I could fix myself from my eating disorder.
17:56
Guess what I couldn't. And I think a lot of us get into
18:00
different fields of helping people because we're trying to
18:03
really help ourselves, you know, and you realize, wait a minute,
18:07
food isn't the issue. It's a psychological issue. It's a
18:12
emotionally based issue. And I just didn't know any of that
18:16
back then. And it's taken me a long journey to figure this out
18:20
pretty much on my own, and just going to different practitioners
18:23
and trying Eastern medicine modalities, and just all kinds
18:27
of different things. And the one modality that I found that
18:31
really helped me with the emotions was neuro emotional
18:35
technique, which is called any tea. It's a mind body stress
18:39
relief technique. And it's been out there for about 35 years or
18:43
so. But it really helps to get at the stuck patterns that we
18:50
get triggered with in the present that we are unaware of
18:53
this is all going on unconsciously. And we're
18:56
reacting to something like we did as a six year old or as a 20
18:59
year old because we never resolved it from an emotional
19:02
standpoint. back then. So we're playing it out present day, like
19:07
we were then instead of getting to the root issue of, oh my
19:11
gosh, why am I sabotaging myself, I know I need to eat
19:15
healthy, but I just got triggered because my husband
19:18
said something about my body image. And now meaning applying
19:21
a Ben and Jerry's as a coping mechanism, you know, and we all
19:25
do it. We all have unconscious suppressed emotions that we
19:29
never process. And so it'll come up from time to time and we need
19:34
to work through it instead of just putting ourselves in
19:38
another trance through eating or drinking or shopping or binging
19:42
Netflix, whatever, to not deal with life and not to explore and
19:47
to awaken to who you truly are and to get at those unconscious
19:53
limiting belief patterns that are sabotaging you. And one for
19:57
me, is like my idea. Kennedy is a people pleaser. I grew up that
20:02
way, I wanted to please everybody be the good girl. So I
20:05
would be loved and, you know, accepted. Well guess what, as an
20:09
adult, that doesn't quite work for you anymore. And it's a hard
20:15
one to let go of, because you don't want to I grew up, don't
20:18
hurt your Mother, don't make your mother angry, or it gets
20:22
your father angry, you know? And so what do you do with those
20:26
emotions, when you're feeling angry towards your mother, or
20:29
you feel like your mother hurt you, you just have to step on
20:32
them. Well, guess what the body remembers, there's a great book
20:36
out called the Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel, Vander
20:41
cough, and it's about trauma and how your body records
20:44
everything. So you need to be able to use your voice and speak
20:52
your truth, even if it hurts your mother, you know, and these
20:57
are some of the things that are really hard for us to do today.
21:00
But when you put it in a, I feel that when you did this, you
21:06
know, it's not blaming, it's owning your own feelings and
21:10
emotions, instead of always being defensive or not even
21:13
wanting to engage with them. Because they're, you know,
21:17
there's no sense in it, because they're going to feel hurt or
21:20
criticized or judged. So that's really, you know, an important
21:26
part of this is to start your own journey, if you haven't
21:30
already to start questioning these belief systems that were
21:34
handed down, usually, generationally. And religion is
21:38
one of the ones that I had to let go up organized religion,
21:41
because your concepts or beliefs about God shape your
21:46
relationship to death. Okay. And when I was 19, having been
21:50
raised Southern Baptist, that's my father, my mother was
21:54
Lutheran. Okay, we spent a lot of time in church, and both
22:00
churches had a dual concept of God, God was loving and
22:05
protective, and he was there for you. And if you prayed, you
22:07
would get what you wanted. But on the other hand, there are all
22:11
these rules, in addition to the 10 commandments, okay, each
22:15
religion had their own rules. And if you disobeyed those
22:21
rules, you are a sinner, you were bad, you are going to hell.
22:27
And when I people asked me today, Nikola, is there a hell I
22:30
go? Hell, no. Terry, L is on earth. Okay, the suffering and
22:35
the pain, and the misery that goes on in your earthly
22:39
existence, that is hell, there is no hell, when your soul
22:44
passes on, just like there is not going to be any judgment
22:48
that may be a new one for you or your audience. But there is no
22:51
judgment. On the other side. There's a life review, but
22:55
you're not going to be judged. So what I had to do was get out
23:00
of this concept that God was a vending machine. And instead
23:05
reconceptualized, God, after my memory came back, realizing my
23:10
experience with God, on the other side was love. Pure,
23:14
unfiltered, unconditional love. And being wrapped in that cocoon
23:19
of light was like floating in outer space as an outer
23:24
astronaut, you know, it was just soothing. It was comforting. And
23:29
it was just breathtaking, you know. And the beauty of it the
23:35
colors, there's more colors in the world than what they label
23:39
in the Crayola Color box, you know, or the Sherman Williams
23:43
paint colors. There's so many more colors in the world. And
23:46
the music, I mean, it is just
23:49
there's so many positive things about death and the other side.
23:54
And I think our society has done a great disservice by creating
24:00
this culture of death denial. And we don't want to think about
24:06
death. Because it just is like, oh, that just doesn't feel good.
24:11
It's not giving me a happy feeling. But if we can shift the
24:16
worldview and our vibration, and maybe our cultural
24:21
misunderstandings surrounding death, we can get to a place of
24:26
peace, and not fear death. And so many people do fear death.
24:31
unconsciously. They don't, they may say, Oh, I'm not afraid to
24:35
die. But when the time comes, they really are because they're
24:38
stuck. And that an old concept, maybe they were raised in with a
24:42
religion, that if they did something wrong, they were going
24:45
to be eternally separated from their loved ones. And growing up
24:49
with that level of fear does so much to harm a child throughout
24:54
the rest of their life because you are now programming your
24:59
nervous system. I'm in a fear, activation and worry. And when
25:06
you're filled with fear and worry, you are not going to have
25:10
clarity, you are not going to be able to make decisions for
25:14
yourself that are for your highest and greatest good,
25:18
because your decisions are coming out of this fight flight
25:21
freeze part of your brain called the amygdala, instead of your
25:25
prefrontal cortex, which is the executive decision making part
25:30
of your brain that can sort out everything and make a logical
25:33
decision. And that's your parasympathetic says, system
25:38
coming on board. But when you're in your sympathetic, you're
25:42
just, you know, reactive all the time. And so many people are in
25:46
so much fear in this country right now. And it is a low
25:51
vibration and around the subject of death, it needs to be
25:56
addressed and brought out and talked about, and that is what I
25:59
was told on the other side. I call him Casper the Friendly
26:04
Ghost in my book, because I could get that he was male, I
26:07
knew that he was young. But I didn't have an identity with
26:11
him. until a year ago, August, right after my book was
26:15
released. And then my grandfather, on my father's side
26:19
came to me and said, I'm your angel. I'm Casper, the Friendly
26:23
Ghost, it was actually me that came down and lifted you up and
26:26
took you to the other side. And I was just blown away. Because
26:31
I, I never, I had heard that a lot of people with nd ease,
26:36
actually recalled seeing deceased loved ones. But I had
26:40
never been able to connect anybody on the other side until
26:44
my grandfather came to me. In August of the year, year passed.
26:48
And that's the time that he passed away at 58 years old from
26:52
a massive heart attack. And here I was 58 years old. And right
26:57
around the time of his death, and he I smelled cigar smoke.
27:00
And I was going where am I smelling this? No one in our
27:03
house, smoked cigars. And then I heard my name, and I'm going,
27:08
okay, you know, what is this? Exactly. And it's the Nicole,
27:14
this is your grandfather, James. And he said, I was Casper and I
27:19
have always been with you. I saw what was going on at the
27:22
Academy, I saw the abuse you were in, I saw how you were
27:25
struggling, I saw that you couldn't quit, because of the
27:29
shame of failing at something. And so I came down and saved
27:35
you. And there I will always be with you until you, you know,
27:40
pass on. So he has been with me ever since he showed up in the
27:45
OCR, he showed up, you know, every time I come close to
27:49
wanting to leave again, he's there reminding me that I came
27:53
back to tell people to not be afraid of death. And it seems
27:58
like a really simple message, Alan, but it's taken me 40
28:02
years. I mean, my crash was 40 years to unpack all the
28:06
different layers and unwind everything so that I wasn't
28:11
filled with fear and worry about being sick and or focusing on
28:18
being sick or identifying with that as my identity, you know.
28:23
And so it's been a long journey. And we're all here on a journey
28:30
for our souls evolution. And there is no perfect journey that
28:36
just in theory, you know, it continues on, and I want people
28:42
to know that it hasn't been easy. But I finally have come to
28:48
peace, and that is and freedom. And when you let go of these
28:53
fears and worries, that's where the freedom comes in. And I am I
29:00
book, I'm just going to read it really quick because it really
29:03
illustrates the concept of God,
29:05
Alan Carroll: you are deathless book. Yes.
29:08
Unknown: And it is talking about I do something called neuro
29:11
emotional technique. I'm certified in that because I
29:14
believed in it so much. It helped me so much. There was a
29:18
little six year old girl who was in a very fundamentalist church,
29:22
she was adopted, and she did something quite bad. And she
29:27
started wetting the bed and she was scared to death. She was
29:30
going to be separated from her now adopted parents. And so when
29:35
I talked to her, I said, Well, can you tell me how you see God?
29:39
And she eagerly told me, God is a blue spirit with colors and
29:44
balloons and all different colors, no head and can talk.
29:49
And now clearly, this little girl is still having a direct
29:53
experience with God no filters from other people. And you know
29:58
your own experience with God saw Whatever you want to call, you
30:01
know the author of our lives hear you, it will probably look
30:05
nothing like hers or mine, yet, I hope my story can help people,
30:11
to encourage them to continue on their journey on their path to
30:16
what really is their concept of God. Because in my opinion, if
30:21
there is a fear element associated with God, that is not
30:25
of God that is a man in order to control people.
30:31
Alan Carroll: I you talked about the the need to let go, and it
30:36
took you 40 years to let go of things. Well, can we figure out
30:42
a way of giving me the Cliff Notes of letting go so that we
30:48
can let go starting the process a lot quicker? What is it that
30:52
you let go of in order to, to release yourself from the
30:57
handcuffs, I had
30:59
Unknown: to let go of the image of God, the concept of God as
31:03
being dual and being a judgmental, critical, fear based
31:08
God, that that part doesn't exist of God and just see God is
31:12
love. And to me, I, I connect with that mostly in nature. I
31:17
see the love, feel the love, experience, the love in nature,
31:22
and the beauty that is just everywhere around me. I know
31:27
that for me, I had to let go. Be mindful that I came back
31:34
transformed, I was not the same person I was at 19. I have a lot
31:39
more sensibility, sensitivities to things. And I can't be around
31:43
toxic people. And most people don't need to be around toxic
31:47
people. Okay, so being mindful of people that are energy
31:50
vampires, as they're called, they zap your energy. Because
31:54
they're negative, they're critical. They're judgmental,
31:57
they're shaming. One thing on the other side is a lesson we
32:01
are not judged. If we could apply that to ourselves. Now,
32:06
instead of waiting, quit judging yourself, take the word should
32:11
out of your vocabulary. Don't shoot yourself, your children,
32:17
your grandchildren, or anybody you come into contact with. That
32:21
is a low vibration shaming word, when you tell somebody, they
32:26
should have done something that's insinuating that you know
32:29
better than them what they needed to do, and you are really
32:34
smashing them down in terms of who they are as a being. The
32:42
other thing, I had to do a lot of work emotionally because I
32:47
had separated my mind from my body. I never am but learn to
32:52
embody emotions, I can think them, I'm angry at the driver, I
32:57
can think that that's a realistic emotion to have. But I
33:00
never let it get through my throat all the way in my body
33:04
and actually feel it in my body. So that's the work with
33:10
emotional that you see going on now with people needing to
33:14
embody emotions, the emotional code out there, the tapping the
33:17
EMDR, the hypnosis, things like that, that are available to help
33:23
people connect the mind and the body. Because so many of us have
33:30
just chopped it off and operated from a mind perspective. So that
33:36
needs to get integrated. So find someone that can help you with
33:40
that. There's lots of modalities out there to do that. Even talk
33:45
therapy can work for some people. So that was important to
33:49
me to do. The other part was to connect with my soul. Okay, if
33:54
you feel and there's three symptoms about soul loss, if you
33:59
feel any of these or know anybody that feels these
34:03
symptoms, they probably need help bringing their fragmented
34:07
soul back together.
34:09
Alan Carroll: All right. So I'll write it down as you speak.
34:12
Number one, you
34:13
Unknown: don't want to be here. Do you know people that just
34:16
don't want to be here? Okay, I knew when my memory came back 19
34:23
years later, I did not want to come back to the body and the
34:26
life that I knew would be filled with pain and suffering. I
34:29
didn't want to, but I was told I was going to come back because I
34:33
had a message to tell people. The second thing is this low
34:37
level consistent feeling that something is missing. Okay, now,
34:42
it's interesting to note with this one, many compulsive
34:44
behaviors and addictions fall into this statement. And for me,
34:49
I can now clearly see the link between my binge eating disorder
34:54
and this feeling of emptiness that I had, because I didn't
34:58
believe in that God that I was raised. With any more, but I
35:01
didn't have a concept of what I did believe that. And I wasn't
35:05
connecting to the spiritual realm. During those 20 years, my
35:08
memory was gone, I was looking, I was going to different
35:12
churches, I was trying to find a connection, but it just nothing,
35:16
nothing. stuck to me nothing felt right. And then once I had
35:22
the soul retrieval that really helped me start connecting with
35:27
my spirit guides, my angels, my I mean, starting started taking
35:32
off because I was back in alignment, again, those parts
35:36
have been pulled back. The third one is, you can't get over it.
35:42
Okay, your mind just keeps looping and looping and looping.
35:46
And this can manifest in chronic or a wasting illness. You know,
35:54
feeling stuck with a health condition. And for me, I had
35:58
this hypervigilance, Alan that I hide to keep myself safe all the
36:02
time, this illusion that you refer to earlier, that if I
36:06
controlled my life, and my situations in life, nothing bad
36:10
like this could ever happen again, if I drove the car
36:14
everywhere, then it wouldn't happen again, instead of giving
36:17
it over to someone else to drive, right? You know, so I
36:21
would always be the one you guys can go out and drink, but I'm
36:23
staying sober and I'm driving, okay. But that's an illusion
36:28
that you can control all these different factors to your life.
36:32
And what that does is just heightens your stress response
36:36
system, thinking that you need to try and control all of this,
36:40
because in the end, it's not controllable, you know, so you
36:45
worry about things you're nervous the anxiety kicks in. So
36:51
I wish I had known earlier that through this trauma, that when I
36:58
neglected these hurt fragmented parts of my soul and just got on
37:01
with my life, that it led to other issues for me like
37:05
depression. And just like any other wound, like I said, we
37:11
have got to realize that soul retrieval is a powerful healing
37:16
tool that works. And what we're dealing with here is that
37:20
spiritual hidden realm, and I'm here to tell you, it's a very
37:24
real thing. And so you can see a shaman about it, you can see a
37:29
hypnotherapist about it, you can see your pastor about it, if
37:32
they believe in that, you can even call back the soul parts
37:36
yourself. So you can go look that up on Google soul loss,
37:41
Soul fragmentation. And you know, there's lots of videos out
37:45
there on that. So it's a necessary part of healing that
37:49
we have really never discussed in the wellness industry.
37:55
Alan Carroll: One of the psychological theories is psycho
37:59
synthesis. And psychosynthesis says that you have 12 basic
38:04
parts to you. There's the there's the liberal part,
38:08
there's the non liberal part, there's the judge, there's all
38:12
these different characters, and the conflicts that people have,
38:16
it's that you have a liberal part of yourself, and you have a
38:19
Conservative Party of yourself. And each of them had their own
38:22
needs, and their own desires, and they start to battle it
38:25
back. And but as you integrate it as you become conscious as
38:29
you can talk about it, because you talked about the sharing of
38:33
emotions with the person that you have emotional stuff with
38:38
going on, and the fear that's involved in that. And, and how
38:45
do you communicate things that are uncomfortable to
38:50
communicate, and, and not offend and upset the sensitivity of the
38:57
person you're talking to whose skin gets thinner and thinner as
39:01
we move forward, and 2023 and 2024, they're just people get
39:06
agitated very quickly. They've lost control of their mental
39:11
stability. And there's such an overwhelming bombardment of
39:16
stuff to cause agitation. So I'm wondering, could you give us a
39:20
couple of tips on how to how to say how to say things that are
39:24
sweet, but appropriate.
39:27
Unknown: Okay, I'll give you an example. Say, Alan, that you
39:30
hurt my feelings because you told me that I'm obese and I
39:36
need to lose weight. Okay. And I really love you and respect you.
39:41
And I know I'm obese. I know I'm overweight, but you point that
39:46
out to me, okay. And I can say, Alan, when you told me that I
39:51
was obese and overweight. I felt really hurt. I felt like you
39:57
really didn't have I understand that I've been dealing with this
40:03
my whole life, and you didn't seem to offer any compassion
40:07
with it, I heard it as more judgmental, and I need to do
40:11
something about it. Like, I haven't been doing something
40:14
about it all these years. And so I just needed to let you know
40:18
that that statement really did hurt my feelings. So I'm owning
40:23
it. Okay, what you're saying, Does that make sense?
40:27
Alan Carroll: So it's a very, very higher vibrational kind of
40:32
response. Yes, to do acknowledge that chi, a button has just been
40:39
pressed in my reality. And this stuff is getting stirred up. And
40:44
these emotions are happening and nothing to do with you. But boy,
40:49
something's going on over here versus you, Mother, you know, do
40:53
this. And so the the ownership of the, of what is happening in
40:58
your body as you being the source of that, rather than the
41:03
victim of someone pressing the button is a very high vibration.
41:07
Very, very high, because the ego is in the is in the preservation
41:12
and the defending business cannot in the giving you space
41:16
to be the way you are business and owning it yourself. That's
41:19
very, very, I use I'm using higher vibrational because you
41:27
you talked about the higher vibrational moves that you can
41:30
play in the game. Game of reduced Let's reduce the
41:34
psychological suffering, well, let's increase the vibration of
41:37
the people who are experienced and why do you do that? How do
41:40
you increase the vibration, but you just gave a great example.
41:43
Unknown: Well, here's another important thing, you have to be
41:46
mindful of what you're plugging your awareness into, okay?
41:51
Because everything has to start with awareness. If you're not
41:54
aware that you're doing something, you're gonna keep
41:56
repeating it. But once you're aware of it, it's hard to go
42:00
back and keep doing the same thing. But that's,
42:03
Alan Carroll: that's good. That's too good to only do one
42:05
time. Okay, go ahead. And then we'll slow it down a little bit.
42:10
Because that's one of the key, the key stones and mindfulness
42:14
is what you're talking about. Now. It deserves a little more
42:16
respect. That's that's, that is honored a little bit more with a
42:20
little more fluff around it.
42:24
Unknown: awareness is the key to understanding what is going on.
42:29
Alan Carroll: Okay, so awareness. So I'm holding up a
42:33
light in my hand right now. And if I can shine the flashlight on
42:38
what I'm looking at, I'm more aware of what I'm looking at.
42:41
But I need a light in order to shine on that. Is that true?
42:48
Unknown: Yes. And that's usually in your unconsciousness, because
42:52
we're running our lives with about 95 to 99%,
42:58
unconsciousness, everything that's come before us all of our
43:02
programming, from we little ones even in utero, okay, we are
43:07
picking up messages from our mother from our father. You
43:10
know, I'm a dietician by training. And we've known this
43:13
for years, what the mother eats is going to affect the child if
43:16
she's disposed to high fat, high salt, high sugar diet, eat a lot
43:21
of fast food, that child comes out predisposed to a higher
43:26
threshold of sugar, sweet, sugar, fat, and salt. So it's
43:32
the same thing with stress and with energy and with emotions,
43:37
if that mother is not, if she is stressed all the time, that is
43:42
affecting the child. So it's going to come out more nervous,
43:46
more anxiety ridden, and having a proclivity for that. So it
43:51
really is important that we remember that every one and
43:55
everything is connected, we at the root are all energy. And so
44:00
becoming conscious, and becoming awake to who you really are. And
44:07
this is important because one of the lessons is a life review at
44:11
the end of our lives. Okay, when we're on the other side, we will
44:15
have a life review. And we learn how everything that we said, Did
44:21
and thought, okay, during our physical life here on planet
44:26
Earth, impacted ourselves, others and the world. So if we
44:31
can become more mindful, and stop and not react, you know,
44:38
just like if you're saying the word should stop yourself
44:41
immediately because now you're aware that you're shaming
44:44
someone, pull it back, cancel, clear, delete, whatever you want
44:47
to do, and think about what are you really trying to say to this
44:51
person? Okay. And with death. It's interesting because we are
44:57
experiencing more death on this planet. now than we have in a
45:01
long time, and it's not just with people, it's not sudden
45:05
deaths or people that have are on the road to passing, or
45:10
suicides which have gone up dramatically. We're seeing
45:14
death. In systems, we're seeing death and climate change. And we
45:20
need to remember that we are all of us on a limited physical
45:25
journey, to bring us back to presence, okay, to the now, let
45:31
go of the past, that's easier said than done. But we never
45:36
know when our last day on earth is going to be. Like I said
45:39
earlier, I never thought that I could die at 19. I'm sure all of
45:44
those children massacred at Sandy Hook never thought and
45:47
their parents never thought that would be their last day here on
45:51
Earth. And if we actually lived with that awareness, getting
45:56
back to being aware, we would be more present and live in a
46:01
deeper way. And that is why I'm so passionate about people
46:06
addressing their fears of death, so they can truly live life.
46:11
Alan Carroll: I agree, I agree. The idea of the, the you see the
46:22
world now through the conditioning of the lens of the
46:27
past. And if you could figure out a way of putting the past in
46:31
the past, never to be remembered again. Then you'd have this
46:35
white blank canvas in front of you. And that you can then
46:41
control with with the paintbrush in your hand. What what do you
46:45
want to paint on this canvas? And well, why not paint,
46:50
absolute love, joy and compassion, with with what I at
46:54
least what I speak, combined may not have control of them
46:59
thoughts inside my head and all that. But can I become aware of
47:03
the of the energy form of the word, the vibrations that I
47:07
create as an energy form of either love, are of defending or
47:13
attacking. And that to me is is a key to this waking up that you
47:20
talk about and and we're moving closer to the end of our
47:24
conversation. And it's really a wonderful, rich conversation
47:29
that is endless. Yes, that's you're exploring an endless
47:33
empty space of nothingness. In which you discover that whatever
47:40
that energy they call consciousness, or God is here
47:44
now, he's always been here. I'm a spark from the log, you're a
47:48
spark from the log. And, and we're both divinity, creatures
47:54
of having fun as human beings laughing when we come back
47:57
again, and, and enjoying ourselves but really suffering
48:00
why we're here. But there's some cosmic joke here, that you have
48:07
been able to discover the joke of the illusion that you think
48:15
something. And as you begin to change the way you think, you
48:18
change the the illusion in front of you begins to change. And so
48:23
reality, definitely a change, a change agent for love and
48:28
compassion. And I want to thank you for being on the mindful you
48:33
podcast, sharing your adventures. And my wish is that
48:38
we able to continue this conversation at some point in
48:42
time in the future.
48:44
Unknown: That would be wonderful. Alan, I would love
48:45
that. Thank you so much. And I've enjoyed being on your show.
48:49
Alan Carroll: And I want to also let people know that the you are
48:53
deathless sounds like it's full of rich information about the
48:57
subjects that we're talking about, and would be a great
49:00
resource for folks who want to investigate further to see what
49:05
all these things we're talking about with this neuro emotional
49:09
technology and the spiritual body mind integration, hocus
49:14
pocus stuff and and I believe that the clarity of your
49:18
speaking now is probably reflected also in the clarity of
49:22
your words on paper. So
49:24
Unknown: it took me 13 years to write the book and it is
49:27
definitely from my heart. It's my authentic voice. It's also
49:31
now on Audible. I just narrated it myself, it came out in May of
49:35
this year. So for people that prefer that option, it's on
49:38
Kindle. It's on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and your independent
49:42
bookstore can order it for you. But I really do hope that it's
49:46
effective in helping you move forward and if you have a book
49:50
club, it is an excellent book to read together and discuss this
49:56
topic that will happen to us all and our loved ones. And to start
50:01
preparing for our report now, you know, because so many times
50:05
you get to a funeral, and it fractures families. And it
50:08
doesn't have to be that way. If people prepare ahead of time,
50:12
whether it's the wills or the wishes, or whatever it is,
50:17
Alan Carroll: oh, I you're talking, I have a, oh, a two
50:23
inch by four inch old old picture, back in the 1910 1920
50:32
timeframe of my father's brother and sister together when they
50:37
were just a small little beings in dressed in a little costume
50:41
somewhere in Upper New York State. And, and I look at that,
50:46
and I look at that picture of my father, who's all those people,
50:49
they're dead. Yeah. And I, I saw my desk. I see it every day. And
50:58
it reminds me of that I'm immortal. I'm not I'm not
51:01
immortal on morphine. And appreciate every moment of every
51:09
day. That drenched in love, appreciate it and be grateful
51:16
for it rather than, oh, something's missing in my life
51:19
right now that I'm not complete, and I'm not going to be complete
51:23
until I get those things, then I'll be complete. That that is
51:27
that that causes a lot of the suffering that we feel so I I
51:32
Unknown: agree. 100% Thank you, Alan.
51:35
Alan Carroll: Okay. Okay.