Latest / ✨️Aligned and Thriving: For Teachers🌿 / 👩🏼‍🏫What Teachers Need to Hear… But Don’t Actually Believe

Transcript

👩🏼‍🏫What Teachers Need to Hear… But Don’t Actually Believe · ✨️Aligned and Thriving: For Teachers🌿

• 0:25
  Hello my darlings, and welcome back to another episode of
• 0:29
  London Thriving for Teachers. I am Mel, I am still a teacher,
• 0:33
  and I'm here to talk to you today about something that I
• 0:39
  think all teachers need to hear, but you probably don't actually
• 0:43
  believe it. Seriously, teachers are
• 0:45
  constantly told things like, and I know because I tell you at the
• 0:49
  end of most of my podcasts that you are doing enough.
• 0:52
  It's OK to have a bad day. Do you deserve a life outside of
• 0:56
  teaching? But if we're being honest, most
• 1:00
  of us don't actually believe that.
• 1:01
  We probably hear it and just nod or agree and be like, yeah, OK,
• 1:05
  thanks. We might even say it to someone
• 1:07
  else. Please don't quote me on on that
• 1:10
  after I just said you're doing enough.
• 1:13
  But some of us don't live like that's actually true.
• 1:17
  So let me start with this one. It is OK to have a bad day.
• 1:20
  Yes, we all say this. We all know this, but do you
• 1:26
  actually let yourself have one? Like have you?
• 1:30
  Or do you just replace, Replace. Replay everything in your head
• 1:35
  all night, overthink every decision you made that day, wake
• 1:39
  up the next day and think, oh, how could I fix that?
• 1:42
  Because I know I've done that many times.
• 1:47
  And here's the truth, it is completely OK to have days where
• 1:52
  things don't go well, where your lesson absolutely flopped, where
• 1:57
  behaviour was just hard and where you probably walked out of
• 2:01
  the end of the day thinking, wow, that was not it.
• 2:06
  It is OK. We've had weeks at school before
• 2:09
  where every day we've gone, Oh my gosh, is it a full moon?
• 2:12
  What's going on? Like the kids, they're all
• 2:15
  crazy. It's completely OK, We are all
• 2:18
  human. Not every day in your career is
• 2:21
  going to feel successful. And that does not make you a bad
• 2:25
  teacher. It just makes you a real one.
• 2:28
  It really does. So it's OK to have a bad day.
• 2:32
  You deserve a life outside of teaching.
• 2:36
  Now. This one everyone agrees with.
• 2:39
  Until it's actually time to do it.
• 2:42
  Until it's actually time to leave work on time, until it's
• 2:46
  time to not check your emails and until it's time to choose
• 2:49
  your family 1st and then suddenly you feel guilty.
• 2:53
  So let me say this again, you're allowed to set boundaries.
• 2:59
  Are you getting the picture that boundaries are like a big factor
• 3:02
  here? And not just say them like
• 3:05
  actually live them? Because here's something, we
• 3:09
  don't say enough. Without teachers, there's
• 3:13
  actually no other professions. Huh.
• 3:16
  Really. No way.
• 3:18
  Yes way. There's no lawyers, there's no
• 3:21
  doctors. There's just no anything because
• 3:23
  we are necessary. We are necessary.
• 3:27
  We still had to turn up during COVID.
• 3:31
  I think a lot of people were reminded of that.
• 3:34
  I know that there are a lot of parents that were reminded about
• 3:38
  how important teachers are during COVID when they were
• 3:42
  handing their children back to me saying I don't know how you
• 3:46
  put up with it all day. It did nothing, it doesn't
• 3:49
  listen, it doesn't do its work. Good luck to you.
• 3:53
  Well there you go. I thought lesson learnt, bit of
• 3:58
  respect came back, but I think a few years on we're sort of back
• 4:02
  to where we were before. But parents had that sort of
• 4:05
  reminder and just saw how much actually goes into teaching
• 4:10
  their child, OK, we are necessary, we are part of their
• 4:16
  foundational building blocks, OK, it's right there, plain as
• 4:21
  day. We're important.
• 4:23
  Get that through your heads. And the little moments, even on
• 4:30
  the hard days, there's always those little moments, you know,
• 4:35
  when that little student comes over and says, oh, miss, your
• 4:38
  dress looks really pretty today. I like your hair.
• 4:43
  Kids are really honest sometimes very honest.
• 4:49
  Like when they tried to tell you things that you didn't ask for,
• 4:52
  like about if you're pregnant because you're a bit bloated and
• 4:57
  all of those things. You get those comments too, but
• 5:00
  those moments, they are real, they are not lying, they really
• 5:06
  matter. And I absolutely treasure those
• 5:10
  times with those kids that are making those little comments
• 5:13
  because you just think, Oh, my gosh.
• 5:15
  I know in one of the schools I've worked out, we've had like
• 5:18
  a little book of things kids say, whether they are funny or
• 5:22
  whether they are really kind and beautiful.
• 5:24
  And just celebrating that at the end of the year and looking back
• 5:28
  and going, wow, it can be just so uplifting and just
• 5:33
  heartwarming about the things that kids can do and say.
• 5:38
  I know my son, bless his little heart.
• 5:41
  Yeah, he's got a lot going on in his brain.
• 5:43
  He's got a rainbow brain. He's pretty awesome.
• 5:45
  So is my daughter. Yes.
• 5:47
  I'm not gonna forget her, but my son has the biggest heart.
• 5:52
  If he's calm and regulated, like he will put everyone else first.
• 5:56
  But his beautiful thing is I think someone was giving out
• 5:58
  something. And he has this really good
• 6:01
  connection with one of our office ladies who he's friends
• 6:03
  with, we're friends with. And he got one of the things and
• 6:07
  he took it in and he's like, I got you one, Here you go.
• 6:10
  And she's just like, that is so special.
• 6:12
  Like, why did he think of me? I said, oh, because you're
• 6:14
  friends. And you give him his tablet
• 6:16
  every day. And he just has that in the back
• 6:19
  of his head. And it's those little moments
• 6:21
  where sometimes you've got the hard kid.
• 6:26
  My son can be one of them. You've got those hard moments
• 6:29
  and you're like, Oh my goodness, all I've done is this, this and
• 6:32
  this all day. And then they go and do that and
• 6:33
  you're like, oh, that's lovely. It's those little moments, those
• 6:38
  pockets that you look for in your day and they make your day
• 6:41
  special. They make it all worthwhile and
• 6:43
  they really matter. So remember those moments
• 6:46
  because they are important. The truth about teaching.
• 6:49
  Look at the end of the day, it is a job.
• 6:53
  Yes, IA 100% believe that teaching is a calling.
• 6:57
  How I got to where I am certainly leads me to believe
• 7:01
  that it was a calling because if you listen to my first episode,
• 7:04
  I was never going to be a teacher in the 1st place.
• 7:06
  I was going to do human resources.
• 7:07
  But I mean, what is teaching? It is literally human resources.
• 7:11
  Every day you're managing humans.
• 7:12
  It is what it is. Anyway, teaching is a calling
• 7:16
  and it it becomes a part of who you are, but it should not
• 7:20
  become all of you because you still have a life outside of
• 7:25
  teaching and it's OK to enjoy that life.
• 7:30
  Actually, I'm going to say it's necessary that you enjoy that
• 7:33
  life because separating your job from your life, it's not
• 7:37
  selfish. That's how you sustain this
• 7:42
  career and basically retain your sanity in this situation because
• 7:48
  that's what matters. So let me talk to you.
• 7:52
  I want to touch on basic human needs because this also matters
• 7:57
  because you and this is This is why this episode is called
• 8:00
  Things that teachers need to hear basic human needs.
• 8:03
  You are allowed to go to the toilet.
• 8:05
  You are allowed to have a lunch break and you are allowed to
• 8:08
  take sick day without feeling guilty, without feeling like
• 8:12
  you're letting people down. Because honestly, you should not
• 8:17
  have to train your bladder any more than what we already have
• 8:21
  to, to do this job. That's not normal.
• 8:24
  It's not OK. And I know this can be very hard
• 8:28
  because I used to be that person.
• 8:31
  I used to be the one who would go to work sick because it was
• 8:36
  easier than being away. I didn't want to let the kids
• 8:39
  down. I also didn't want to have to
• 8:41
  deal with the relief. I didn't want to have to deal
• 8:44
  with the kids the day after they had relief.
• 8:47
  But all that does is burn you out and also spread your germs
• 8:51
  to everyone else. And then it actually makes your
• 8:53
  life harder, especially when you were the relief coordinator at
• 8:57
  the time. So then you made more people
• 8:58
  sick. So you actually made your own
• 9:00
  job harder for yourself when you should have just stayed home for
• 9:03
  that day. Yeah.
• 9:05
  Learn from me, people. It takes a lot of time to
• 9:11
  unlearn that and to not feel. I still feel that guilt if I
• 9:15
  have to ring up sick, like I literally will be dying and I've
• 9:18
  rung up sick and I'm, I still feel guilty that whole day.
• 9:22
  And if my kids are sick, usually my husband will have the day off
• 9:26
  work because he's like, oh, it's just easier for me to stay home
• 9:28
  than it is for you to stay home. Or we sort of work out what
• 9:32
  we've got on. So if he's got a particular job
• 9:35
  on, he's like, oh, I really have to go to this job.
• 9:36
  I'm like, OK, well, I could swing these things with work and
• 9:39
  then I can stay home because obviously the kids come first
• 9:42
  too. But we always work that out
• 9:44
  between US. And we do have beautiful
• 9:46
  grandparents as well that are like, oh, we're home.
• 9:48
  We can have them. So we we work it out.
• 9:51
  But you do not need to feel guilty for that because you're
• 9:54
  protecting other people as well. Another thing you need to
• 9:58
  remember is that the kids are learning.
• 10:03
  We hear it all the time, but they are learning.
• 10:05
  And it's true because sometimes we forget what that actually
• 10:09
  means. Learning is messy, like it's
• 10:13
  slow, it's inconsistent. It doesn't always look like
• 10:15
  progress. But then you get those small
• 10:17
  little steps and they matter and you can feel like you're not
• 10:21
  doing enough, but you probably already are.
• 10:24
  You just can't always see it in the moment and you've got it.
• 10:27
  It takes that time. If you've ever taught prep, it's
• 10:30
  like, I don't know if it's a thing, but when I taught prep,
• 10:32
  it was like the boys always took that a little bit longer.
• 10:35
  I'm not trying to be gender stereotypical, but it was a
• 10:38
  thing where all my boys tended to take a long time and they got
• 10:41
  to term 3 and all of a sudden they overtook all the girls and
• 10:44
  that was just off. Like they were reading, they
• 10:46
  were writing, they were doing everything.
• 10:48
  It all takes time. So you may be sitting there
• 10:50
  looking at this kid and you're like, we've done this, we've
• 10:52
  done this. And then one day it clicks and
• 10:54
  it was all worthwhile. So they are learning.
• 10:57
  You're if you're teaching, they're learning.
• 11:00
  Another thing I know that you probably hear, but you don't
• 11:04
  take on is thank you. Now this one, I know you
• 11:11
  probably don't even hear it enough and I'm going to say it
• 11:13
  properly, but thank you. Thank you for showing up every
• 11:17
  day in the chaos, in the hard seasons when life is busy, when
• 11:23
  things feel heavy. Thank you for being a constant
• 11:27
  for your students, even when things in your own life may not
• 11:31
  feel steady. Because what you do, it matters
• 11:36
  way more than what you probably realise.
• 11:39
  Not just for those kids, but for the world that they're growing
• 11:43
  into. It matters.
• 11:45
  So thank you for everything that you do.
• 11:50
  So this is where I'll leave you. It's not that teachers haven't
• 11:54
  heard these things before. I know we've all heard them
• 11:56
  before. But it's that we don't allow
• 11:59
  ourselves to actually believe them.
• 12:03
  And at some point, you need to decide to.
• 12:07
  Maybe it's not about hearing the right advice.
• 12:10
  Maybe it's just actually letting yourself live like it's actually
• 12:13
  true. Because you can be an incredible
• 12:16
  teacher and still have a life and deserve both.
• 12:22
  So there you go. So in case you didn't hear those
• 12:25
  things, or you've heard those things and you haven't really
• 12:27
  taken them on, take them on board today.
• 12:31
  Remember those things. Remember that we are thanking
• 12:34
  you that the kids are learning, you have basic human needs that
• 12:38
  need to be met. That it is just a job, but you
• 12:42
  are doing an amazing job at it. Remember those little moments
• 12:46
  that make each day special, as random as they might be.
• 12:50
  Remember that you deserve a life outside of teaching.
• 12:53
  It is completely OK for you to have a bad day.
• 12:58
  Completely OK. And I have them.
• 13:01
  I still have them. I'll tell you what, they are
• 13:03
  very common, but it's what you do and how you move forward
• 13:07
  after. So think about which one of
• 13:12
  these do you actually struggle to believe?
• 13:15
  Because sometimes awareness is the first step, but action is
• 13:19
  what actually will change things.
• 13:21
  What action are you going to take?
• 13:23
  What are you going to do next? How are you going to make
• 13:26
  someone else's day better with listening to all of this
• 13:28
  information? Thank you again for listening to
• 13:34
  another episode. I hope this one has really
• 13:38
  gotten to you and that you've actually listened because that
• 13:41
  was the aim. Because these are the things
• 13:43
  that we're getting told, but we're not taking them on.
• 13:46
  So please make sure that you take them on, and I hope you do
• 13:49
  have the best day. I do wish that for you.
• 13:51
  I do wanna tell you that you're doing enough.
• 13:54
  I do wanna tell you that you're important and that you are
• 13:57
  loved. In Case No one told you that
• 13:59
  today, I'm telling you now, please make sure you give the
• 14:04
  podcast a bit of a like so a way you can do that.
• 14:08
  You can give it a review. You can write a comment
• 14:10
  underneath. Tell me what you loved.
• 14:11
  Tell me what you're going to work on.
• 14:13
  I love hearing from you. Jump over to my Instagram align
• 14:16
  Driving for teachers if you want to chat to me or if you want to
• 14:20
  get a little bit more inspo in that direction.
• 14:22
  And I hope you have the best day.
• 14:24
  Goodbye my loves.