Latest / No Latency / S2E80 - Roller Derby Rumble

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S2E80 - Roller Derby Rumble · No Latency

0:02
Last time on no latency. Give him that word.
0:06
Oh, Chrome. Chrome.
0:08
I'm about to shoot if that's all right with you.
0:10
You have to get some alcohol and you get you get the saliva.
0:14
It's a super Chrome sidearm. Chrome.
0:18
I'm kind of flashy with all this Chrome.
0:20
I'm wearing Chrome. Oracle Silent Nova Chrome.
0:23
Chrome, I've got the DNA all ready to go.
0:27
We don't know the order. Does the order matter?
0:29
Jeff, how's it going in there? Did you take out the turret?
0:31
Sloan likes the nice lady. It's going to be tight Chrome
0:34
all. Right watch.
0:35
Him go to Papa. You got it, boss.
0:37
Jane, did I introduce you to Vivian?
0:39
Audible gasp. When you see it, take out the
0:41
bot you got to jump in there and blast that fucker.
0:43
Are you close? Oh God.
0:44
Holy fuck, I think we pulled it off Jeff.
0:46
Appreciate that, I guess it's drinks are on.
1:00
Oh God, I'm so bored. There's nothing to do, it's
1:04
nothing on TVI want to watch just.
1:10
Hey Ping, can we turn the radio on please?
1:15
Yeah, sure. Awesome.
1:17
Just. Put into the IR sensor.
1:20
All right, just hit random. Welcome to radio Show where all
1:28
we do is talk like this here on Night City.
1:32
Hype on the old If you want to win tickets to tonight, right
1:38
now, right right now, go see the inversion.
1:42
Smell the sweat and smell the blood.
1:44
You feel the anxious action. Just say the secret phrase, the
1:50
secret phrase found on our garden site by clicking on
1:52
several ads and make sure that you listen to the old five.
1:55
The 10th winner to say the phrase wins.
2:01
Yeah. God, that guy is so.
2:03
Annoying. Oh shit, fuck the rugball
2:05
tickets though. I'm fucking.
2:07
I'm not as fast as I can. It's a fucking nightmare.
2:11
All right. Retro, are you going to call
2:15
this radio show I'm. Calling right now.
2:18
I think I got a busy signal the first time, calling back again.
2:23
What, you roll 21? Yeah, Well, that's nice.
2:26
That's a really good number. That's very high.
2:28
Oh, that's. High number high.
2:33
Whoa, OK retro, you just rolled a crit 23 + 5 and you get
2:38
through to the radio ship. Hello, test caller here on the
2:41
old 505. All the time you've won tickets
2:45
to the football and now from an advertiser from our sponsor, you
2:50
have won the 10th ever ticket. We give it away.
2:53
So we're also going to give you 500 Eddies on the betting ship
2:57
included. Hell yeah.
2:59
For legal reasons, it's called the betting key.
3:02
Hell yeah, and now there are more advertisements to hype you
3:05
up. Listener on the all 5 OK,
3:14
anyway, we're not going to deliver the ticket to you
3:16
because I don't want your personal information.
3:17
So it'll be in the left spending machine on the front of the
3:19
building of the hardball. It's in.
3:23
It's in you know, a few hours. It'll take you a minute to get
3:26
across nice city because of all of the traffic.
3:29
If you're not there by so make sure you leave fairly soon.
3:33
The code's going to be the O 555 and your name is.
3:37
It's retro. Retro ROTRO.
3:41
Yes. Cool, it'll be that big number.
3:43
Did you say ROTRO? Rotro.
3:48
He said yes. I'm too excited right now.
3:50
Shut up. I got tickets to the pub bowl.
3:53
Come on. The the what don't.
3:56
Shout at me. I shout all day long.
3:58
All right mate, I've got to get back to this, but I put it in
4:01
the system ROTRO and then 0555 before that.
4:07
The bedding key will also be in the same vending machine.
4:09
You are the VIP ticket. Just one.
4:11
Cool all. Right, I got to get back to.
4:14
Work. Get some tea and lemon out of a
4:21
prick. But hey, I got tickets to the
4:22
Pug Bowl. Yeah.
4:24
All right. Where's the wait, wait, wait,
4:26
where's the the pug bowl? Fuck yeah, the Pug Bowl, the
4:30
completely sold out fucking secret tournament Derby that
4:34
they have for fucking roller Derby here at Nice City, Fucking
4:37
El Coronado Russo. Cocka.
4:40
Doodle Doo OH tickets. Yeah, yeah, Cockatooodle Doo.
4:44
That's what was AP what was what is this sport?
4:50
It's roller Derby. Roller Derby.
4:55
Did somebody say the Pug Bowl? Fuck yeah, I said the Pug Bowl.
5:00
I got tickets. What you.
5:03
Got tickets? Wait a minute, I thought that
5:07
that was like a sold out. Like how did you get tickets?
5:11
Well, I did something that nobody ever does anymore and
5:13
listen to the radio and they were giving away free tickets on
5:17
there if you were the 10th caller.
5:18
And somehow I got in. I called like 17 times on my
5:23
tile and I, I got in and I got the tickets.
5:26
They misspelled my name, but I'm fine with that because I get to
5:30
I, I, I got tickets. I got tickets to Pug Bowl.
5:32
We're going to go to Pug Bowl. We're going to watch the
5:34
Roosters kick ass at the fucking Pug Bowl.
5:37
We're going to the. Pug bowl.
5:39
Yeah, Pug Pug Bowl. I love.
5:41
I love it. It's my favorite.
5:44
Yes, 011 moment. I'm getting a, I'm getting a
5:51
call on my agent. This is Phoebe.
5:57
Oh, hey, Phoebe. Hey, it's it's Chad.
6:02
How's it going? Oh.
6:04
Like I, I, I I got some like pretty.
6:08
This is Chad I I I got drafted into the trauma team roller
6:13
Derby team. No.
6:15
So. No, you did not.
6:18
So I look, I don't know if you're you're interested in
6:21
coming and maybe sporting me, but I, I got 2 tickets.
6:26
Do you want to go? Give me one moment please and I
6:30
press the mute button on my agent.
6:33
Oh my gosh retro retro. My ex-boyfriend Chad just called
6:38
me and he got drafted to the trauma team.
6:41
Tower Sirens. What?
6:43
Yeah, the the trauma sirens, my favorite.
6:46
Under the sirens. I can't believe this.
6:48
And he just invited me to go. But I you know what?
6:54
I have an idea. I, I unmute.
6:56
Hey, Chad. Well.
6:59
One second during this, Retro gets a confirmation that he has
7:02
one VIP ticket and one betting key, and that's.
7:07
It oh so he has 1 ticket for himself. 1 ticket.
7:13
One VIP ticket VIP tickets go for like $900.
7:18
I was getting more. So Chad, Congrats on getting
7:27
getting drafted into I the Tower Sirens are my favorite team, so
7:34
I will be cheering for you. I'm a big roller Derby fan.
7:39
You know what you saw in school? Like, and I was, I was all
7:42
about, you know, watching the tower Sirens and yeah, no.
7:45
I I saw the tattoo. Yeah, yes, I'm a big fan.
7:50
So I was wondering, I would love to come no.
7:55
Sorry, suck. Retro You failed your resist
8:00
torture drugs and couldn't help but say that Tyusone was stuck
8:02
in the background. Continue.
8:05
I would love to. I would love to come watch you
8:09
play. Maybe I could bring a couple of
8:13
friends as well. Maybe you could get us a couple
8:15
of tickets. I got 2 tickets, yeah. 2
8:17
tickets. Oh yeah.
8:19
Look how. You know about?
8:23
Singing with me. OK, yeah, but so those tickets,
8:31
I mean, I you are an actual player on the team, so I know
8:37
that you probably are able to get me like the VIP tickets,
8:40
right? That's what these are.
8:44
No. Oh, come on, Chad.
8:45
One of the one of the team members got jumped in like an
8:48
alley, so they needed a a a dude, I'm a big.
8:53
Dude, I'm. Big dude things.
8:56
Chad, I'm sure you can work your magic to get a couple of VIP
9:00
tickets for me and my friends so we can go support you, all
9:03
right? Did.
9:04
It. All we'll even come with, we'll
9:06
come with signs. Oh.
9:07
Sick. All right, OK, I'm going to try
9:11
and do that. The GM is going to roll some
9:13
shit so OK, go back. Thanks, Chad.
9:18
I hang up. All right, don't worry guys.
9:21
I'm going to get us tickets, VIP tickets to the Pug Bowl.
9:27
Holy sent. Yeah, since.
9:30
You're dating a player. Apparently.
9:32
Oh, no, no, no, we're not dating.
9:34
We're not dating. No, no, no, no.
9:38
I mean, this is going to be their first bout, right?
9:41
So this is going to be so you you're going to be dating a
9:43
cherry pop and daddy. A cherry pop and I'm sorry hold
9:47
on, I'm I'm getting a copy of it.
9:50
A notification? Yes please.
9:53
Everyone quiet while I look at my notification.
9:57
Hey, you know what? I'm, I'm too excited right now,
10:00
you know? I mean, I mean, me too, going,
10:03
going to the to the pug, the pug Bowl.
10:06
Yeah. That's one of my things that
10:08
I've wanted to do for a very, very long time.
10:11
And I'm very excited to experience this with my my best
10:16
friends. Hell yeah, Jeb.
10:18
I'm going to give Jeb a high 5. You have a high 5.
10:22
I'm going to say hell yeah. Escape fast.
10:24
Turn left. Escape fast.
10:25
That's that's what I always say about the sport that we're going
10:29
to go see. Retro it's it's it's turn right.
10:33
No, it's turn left. That's kind of the joke of it.
10:35
Escape, Escape fast. Turn left.
10:37
Oh, OK, they go counterclockwise.
10:40
Sure. Did you did you get this
10:44
notification? Well, it said I should just ask
10:47
you, so I just kept my mouth shut.
10:50
Well then, Vendell apparently has also been drafted for the
10:54
role of the Derby team tonight. What?
10:58
Yes. My Biotechnica team.
11:01
What Co team? You're a you're a rabbit of some
11:08
sort. I I know we have a team, but
11:09
I've never watched them play. So happy that you are going to
11:14
be performing tonight. Biohazards.
11:18
Biotechnical biohazards What? Yeah.
11:21
Wow, we we know a bunch of players now.
11:24
It's kind of cool. It's kind of sudden, frankly.
11:27
Yeah, I mean. Do you?
11:29
Do you the Dell? Do you know how to play roller
11:35
Derby? Well, it says here, it doesn't
11:38
say here what I'm playing, so. It's fast you're.
11:43
You're the the rabbit. I'm sorry, are you?
11:46
What? Vendel's the rabbit.
11:48
You're the rabbit, yeah. Oh fuck.
11:51
Oh my gosh. Is that bad?
11:54
Oh my, yeah, I mean. You had the I've.
11:56
Seen it better as a jammer but yeah.
11:59
What kind of insurance do you trauma team insurance do you
12:03
have? I have biotechnical insurance,
12:05
they pay 30%. OK, that's good then.
12:07
We're going to be just fine. It's only, you know, like the
12:11
deadliest, most intense sport in all of Night City.
12:16
Damn straight. Well all I really do is like
12:19
mess people up with like cool swords and stuff, so I think
12:24
I'll be OK. I think vendor will be just
12:27
fine. Says I need a a a blunt weapon.
12:32
I know someone. Looks at your baseball bat well.
12:40
This baseball bat is reserved for the Trauma Team Power Siren.
12:47
All right, OK, Friendly competition, I guess.
12:51
Well, at least there's like there's nothing like to happen
12:55
to me. So I guess if we it's just an
12:57
exhibition match, it's not as if failing anybody will have any
13:00
consequences or anything. No, no, no.
13:02
But nobody should, probably. Go get you something, something
13:05
good to hit people with. Now I feel bad.
13:09
Well, I mean, I can just borrow like the bat from under the bar,
13:12
hey. No, no, we need something better
13:14
than that. OK, like.
13:17
What? I'll pick up a stool.
13:20
Here you go. No one's going to ever think
13:21
about using a stool. I mean, could you use the combat
13:25
shovel I got right here? That's going to kill somebody.
13:28
Oh. Jeb, can I use your combat
13:30
shovel? I mean, absolutely.
13:32
This is exactly what I thought would be really good for you to
13:34
use as a dragger that in the sport.
13:39
A rabbit. That we're all excited for and
13:41
know how it works. All of us do.
13:45
Yeah, know that. Exactly, and if you don't, you
13:48
can look it up on the Artelsurian website.
13:50
It's one of the three DLCS. Right.
13:55
This podcast is not sponsored by Artelsorian.
13:58
So, Jeff, you're, you're going to come to cheer on the
14:02
Roosters, right? It says me and Iona get well I I
14:06
get in because I'm a player but it says I only get to VIP ticket
14:09
so that's nice. Oh, lovely.
14:11
I mean, yeah, I, I personally, my team is the one that's that
14:18
you said you lacked. The Biohouses.
14:23
That's the one. The Roosters, right?
14:24
No the. No, the towers and errands.
14:27
No, the Roosters. Retro you you crit fail on
14:31
persuasion and Jeb you do not have to go with him with on that
14:36
if you do not want to. No, the tower.
14:39
The Tower. Yes, towers.
14:41
No, listen, you should be rooting for your home.
14:45
Hold on. 01 moment. Hold on, I'm getting another
14:49
call. Hi, baby.
14:52
Hey, it's Chad again. Hi, Chad.
14:54
Do we have caller ID? I guess yeah.
14:58
So I I got 2 I got was 2 tickets.
15:04
VIP No, that's. A three no.
15:09
General admission tickets to the Pug Bowl chat look.
15:15
I, I tell you what, I'll I'll, I'll why are why are you like
15:19
300 eddies that way? Well, since you weren't able to
15:27
get me those VIP tickets, all right, but you definitely owe me
15:34
some VIP tickets for the next game.
15:37
Yeah, you know, they let me play again.
15:41
Probably have to win. So OK, I I'll be cheering for
15:45
you. Oh cool.
15:48
Hey, Chris, she's getting bullshit.
15:51
It's going bye. Oh my God.
15:54
I hang up. Chad only was able to get me
15:57
general admission tickets. Sucks the suck.
16:01
He got me two. So you have one VIP, you have
16:06
one VIP, but me and Jeb are going to have to sit in the the
16:11
the freaking Bleacher seats. Baby, it's funny.
16:15
I think it's funny that you you think that there are seats in
16:18
the regular area we're. Going to have to stand.
16:22
Oh, we're in the pit. Well, everything is so bad.
16:26
I've been, I've been in some pits before.
16:28
We're not going to. Be served food and wine.
16:32
We got to bring in our own snacks.
16:35
You have you never done this before?
16:37
You never been to a grimy old, old show, You know, had to bring
16:42
in your own snacks, your own drink.
16:44
Now, trust me, I I know all the secret places where to hide
16:47
things. Some of them, I'm going to be
16:50
honest, you're not going to want to know where they are.
16:52
But I don't mean that they don't still taste good or can still
16:55
get you drunk. I'll be honest, if you 2 are
16:59
wanting to get at least good spots, we're probably going to
17:03
want to go as fast as possible to get over there because you
17:06
know how the traffic yeah G you know, GA is first come first
17:11
served. So if you want to.
17:12
Get and Jeb will have to roll for decent parking.
17:15
Yeah, if you're going to want to get to the.
17:16
Hotel, I always do. So what's what's?
17:22
The. Hey, are you guys going to the
17:23
pot bowl? Yeah, are.
17:26
You going to the punk thing? OK, I can.
17:30
You all did a really great job getting the brain.
17:31
So Domino said I can give you all 1000 each because it's kind
17:33
of a mid. So take 1000, you know, bets and
17:36
money tonight. Why not?
17:38
Could one of you put because I got a tip off?
17:42
Could what do you put like 100 on the Roosters for me play Mac?
17:47
Yeah, of course, of course. Put 100 on the Roosters.
17:50
And then, baby, could you put it?
17:53
Yeah, could you put but 150 on drama team?
17:56
Thanks. Oh yeah, you got it.
17:59
All right guys, have fun. So.
18:05
You had nothing retro. I'm just, I'm just playing the
18:09
spread. So if we bet.
18:12
I own a IS 200 for Biotechnica. Fendale's fucking amazing.
18:16
They'll win if we bet. Can we like we get into the VIP
18:24
area somehow like we get I? I guess you'll have to work that
18:28
out for you. OK, OK, All right, All right,
18:31
Jeb, we got big money. We're going to make some good
18:33
bets and we're going to, we're going to work our way around the
18:37
the roller Derby, All right, We're going to, we're going to
18:40
figure this out. I mean, if you're not betting on
18:42
the Roosters, it's already a failed bet.
18:43
Just give me your money now. Right Retro.
18:47
I'm really not liking all of this negative talk.
18:50
We should be rooting for Vendel here.
18:53
If it was if my team was not playing, then yes of course.
18:57
I would agreed, Agreed. It's very hard to cheer for
19:00
somebody that isn't like I grew up with a tower siren.
19:03
It's like, well, it's going to be really hard.
19:07
When your team loses because Vendel's on the Biotechnica
19:11
Biohazards. And I'll give you, I'll give you
19:15
200 eddies now just to take a dive.
19:18
Hey. Wow.
19:21
If I'm going to, if I'm going to cheat, I'm going to cheat so
19:23
that we win. All right, I should probably
19:26
tell all of you this. What, they're going to do some
19:31
bad things if Biotechnica doesn't win?
19:34
What? Who's they?
19:35
Oh fuck, this is all. It's it's all rigged.
19:40
Ain't it Don't kill my dreams that everything about the roller
19:43
Derby is rigged and it's all the execs.
19:46
It's not rigged. It's not rigged.
19:49
They're just very adamant that Biotechnica should win.
19:54
You're. Going to be you're going to be
19:55
bad sports and you're going to what, just go a hooligan in
19:59
there. I'm not doing shit.
20:04
I'm going to set Vandell up for success, and Vendel, I believe
20:09
in you all. Right.
20:12
And if that doesn't work, I'll just take performance enhancing
20:15
drugs. Correct.
20:19
Vendel I'm going to say right now, I am so sorry because I am
20:24
one of the prominent cheerleaders of the Roosters.
20:28
I am part of the coop. I'm going to fuck your day up.
20:34
Am I going to have to get into a fistfight in the VIP section?
20:38
We. Don't mess around when it comes
20:41
to roller Derby. This is from where we came.
20:43
Well, if we don't want to mess around, we probably.
20:44
Should leave soon. Yes, it's going to.
20:45
We need to go. We need to get there.
20:47
Jeb, I need you to drive like you've never driven before.
20:50
I mean, we could take. Our time.
20:51
Really, Jeb, Get in there. Oh, guy, I'm getting in there.
20:57
Well, vendor, we need to stop somewhere and get you a weapon.
21:01
Oh. I thought they were using Jeb's.
21:05
Combat Shovel. Yeah, are.
21:08
We doing that I'm. OK, I think that'd be cool.
21:11
It's like a good luck champ. Wow all.
21:13
Right, I'm pretty. Support.
21:14
I like that. Yeah, I like it too.
21:17
The GM didn't find that and it's really sweet.
21:20
Can I Can I see it? Sure.
21:23
Bendel hands you Jeb's combat shovel.
21:26
I'm going to see if I can't attach a Taser to the end of it.
21:35
OK. Damn.
21:39
Sure, Remy is just starting to put on face paint and get their
21:44
coxcomb on. Cool.
21:46
What? I'm trying to figure out how to
21:48
do this. I have a Taser and I have a
21:50
combat shovel and I have zero other supplies.
21:54
Do you need help with that? How do you do this?
21:58
I'll give you a hand with that. I thought I could just do it.
22:01
Normally you have to roll for that sort of thing.
22:03
I I know, but I was looking at my skills and there was nothing
22:07
that I could argue. Ayona, do you need help with
22:11
that? Yes, I do.
22:13
I will give you a hand because Vendel's going to need all the
22:15
help they can. When Chick comes through,
22:17
they're going to whoop their ass.
22:19
I will help Ayona. Thank you.
22:21
But that's right. Secretly though, I'm going to
22:25
make it so it doesn't work though.
22:29
Electronics Security Tech 31 needs to roll Perception, and so
22:38
does Iona, Yeah. I bet you're sweet, patootie.
22:42
I'm rolling perception, all right?
22:47
You're a bitch. What did and Vendel rolls a 17
22:53
which is really high, but not high enough to see that the
22:57
Taser will not fire. It did however make it heavier,
23:02
which can be used to Bendel's advantage, and so even though it
23:06
won't fire, it does get plus one to hit there.
23:10
You go. Just be careful you it's not
23:13
insulated so if it goes off it might shock you.
23:17
OK, Make sure that you're wearing gloves like something
23:19
that like has rubber on it. Otherwise because you know,
23:23
since it's not a. Part of the uniform retro.
23:25
Good. Does it have rubber on it?
23:27
I mean, yeah, you have to do the skatey thing with your hand,
23:30
like an amount of mask. I'm just double checking.
23:33
All right, Jeb. Fresh meat.
23:35
Come on, hurry up. I'm excited.
23:37
Lily, I'm I'm ready to go. I'm in the.
23:41
Call the driving check. We're almost there.
23:42
Oh, OK. 27, yeah. And parking.
23:48
Can you believe it? I can't.
23:50
Just some some little old lady has gotten her groceries and
23:54
she's pulled out just as we're coming in.
23:58
So you're near sort of the edge of their combat zone and you
24:02
pile out to the vehicle and you're standing in front of the
24:05
Pug Punk roller Derby rink. It's this big wide building.
24:11
It's got a rink inside. It's not your big arena style
24:14
place, but a lot of matches happen here.
24:16
Anyway, outside the front there are two vending machines, one on
24:19
the left and one on the right, and an entrance A on the left
24:21
and an entrance B on the right. And in the middle there's a
24:24
glowing screen which can tell you more about the Pug Bowl if
24:26
you want to know. Oh my God, here's my training.
24:29
I am going to go over to the left vending machine.
24:34
As soon as I catch it, Sir, I'm going to head up to it and I'm
24:39
going to type in 0555 ROTRO. Yep, and you receive AVIP ticket
24:55
and a betting key with. Some money, 500 eddies.
25:03
Cool. That is adorable.
25:07
So listeners, hopefully you get to see the logo for this this
25:11
releases. I drew AI drew a pug.
25:13
It's awesome. He's so cute, I made him.
25:16
He's a pug I like. It so I don't typically when I
25:21
go to these, I go for fun. I don't typically bet.
25:26
Do you need one of these betting keys to bet on the games or can
25:31
anybody do it? You walk up to the vending
25:33
machine that retro's at. Now everybody's standing, at
25:36
least in view of this thing, and on the front of the vending
25:39
machine is this panel, and you can get things from the vending
25:42
machine. Every vending machine will give
25:43
you a betting key and you bet on this screen as well, which tells
25:46
you the flow of the tournament tonight.
25:48
Aha, So I guess we do need one of these.
25:50
All right, I'm going to get myself a betting key then.
25:55
The bedding key is 50 eddies and you get 15 eddies on it as part
26:00
of that price. 15 eddies on it. All right, I'll get one for me
26:05
and Jeb. There is no limit.
26:09
Hell yeah, we're betting all of it.
26:11
You can load money on and off it during the betting period, but
26:14
once a game has started you cannot bet or load money on or
26:18
pull money off. Betting closes one minute before
26:20
game starts and opens again where you can get your winnings
26:23
one minute after game finishes. All right, Jeb, these two, these
26:29
are our betting keys. This is our.
26:31
All right. Our lifeline to get into that
26:34
VIP area. Hopefully if we make some big
26:36
money, we might be able to bribe some people, figure something
26:39
out. So.
26:40
Bet big. OK, OK.
26:43
Is there a reason that we're that we're betting so high?
26:46
I mean, can't we just watch it, enjoy ourselves at this
26:51
sporting? No.
26:54
Event. No going big.
26:56
Oh, OK, I understand. I understand the assignment and
27:00
I'm there. What's do?
27:04
We do. We go inside here because this
27:06
this place does not look very nice.
27:10
You can hear a rowdy crowd inside.
27:14
There is the. I mean, looks like there's like
27:16
a little thing that explains what what roller Derby is.
27:20
Jeff, Maybe you should watch that.
27:22
No, I think I understand exactly.
27:25
I mean, I've been a huge fan of this probably as long as you
27:28
have. But if you want to go ahead and
27:31
go in, I'm just going to make a quick phone call out here.
27:37
So you know, you can just go ahead.
27:40
It's no big deal or nothing all. Right, I'll go in and save you a
27:44
spot. Great.
27:45
Yeah, appreciate that. Oh, look, the the call, it's
27:47
coming in right now. One moment.
27:48
And I Jeb, as soon as, as, as soon as VV is out of line of
27:54
sight, Jeb runs over to the to the instructional video that
27:59
finally tells him how this thing works, how the game works, how
28:03
roller, how roller Derby actually works.
28:07
Welcome to the pot bowl, young gentleman.
28:10
Here's the idea. If you've never played roller
28:13
Derby before, I'll explain the rules.
28:15
Quick, fast. Oh, thank God.
28:17
Each squad fields five players. Everybody needs to wear skates
28:20
and be equipped with skate seats.
28:22
Players can bring weapons on the fields, but only blunt ones.
28:25
The lead does require that all players wear roller Derby
28:28
padding. For the players, there are three
28:30
positions, your jammers, blockers and rabbits.
28:33
Jammers are the offensive power of the squad.
28:36
They. Escape to the opposing squad
28:37
offenses with the goal of tagging.
28:39
The Rabbit. Each squad gets 2 jammers.
28:42
Blockers are the defensive wall of a squad.
28:44
The blockers protect the rabbit against the jammers.
28:47
Each squad fields 2 blockers. The Rabbit.
28:50
Is a living. Target.
28:51
Each rabbit wears a sensor equipped target on their back.
28:55
When the target is struck, the arena scoreboard registers a
28:57
point scored, but every squad only has 1 rabbit.
29:03
There are no. Alternative players or
29:04
substitutes. If someone is incapacitated,
29:06
they are ejected from the jam and their squad must continue
29:09
with fewer players the only way to win a jam.
29:13
Unless it's the rabbit. Typically, a squad wins the jam
29:20
by scoring 10 points. However, in puckball we've cut
29:23
it to 5. They must win by the jammers
29:26
tagging the targets of the opposing squad rabbit, or if the
29:28
opposing squad surrender. A squad must surrender if it
29:31
cannot kill the rabbit. And at least.
29:33
One jammer or if you collect at least 10 penalties.
29:37
OK, so it's kind of like. So it's kind of like Team Tag,
29:43
but with blunt objects as your tagging mechanism.
29:49
Absolutely. Yeah.
29:50
Or your fist. Or your fist.
29:53
And it's double elimination look.
29:55
Oh hey Vandele, do you mind not telling anyone that I didn't
29:59
know how this game worked until just now?
30:00
I. Mean I I didn't know either
30:03
until I looked up on the garden. Right on, right on.
30:07
And I and I and I. I give them a fist bump.
30:09
They fist bump you back. Yeah.
30:12
Oh, that, that felt good. Appreciate that.
30:15
Alright Vandele, let's it's good in there.
30:26
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30:30
Roll to. Cast is the answer.
30:32
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far? Well.
30:36
We've done Cyberpunk 2020 pulp. Cathullo, Vampire.
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The Masquerade. The Witcher.
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That's roll to cast ROL. E Come discover a new world.
31:15
You're going to be OK, Vendel. That's OK.
31:19
You have a fully charged leg. Yes, yes I do.
31:24
And a new weapon. And a new weapon don't need
31:29
drugs. Do I have anything?
31:33
Let me see, can I roll to have a performance enhancing drug?
31:41
You can roll to know what performance enhancing drug would
31:43
work OK is. That performance?
31:46
Enhancing. Drugs.
31:50
I'm thinking, I'm thinking. I'm having a thought.
31:52
Doing some thinking here, doing some doing some thinking.
31:57
All right, Performance enhancing drugs.
31:59
We're talking about cocaine in the workplace here, people.
32:03
Let's let's roll for bureaucracy.
32:06
It's synth coke. You rolled 17.
32:09
Perfect, perfect. I I have been saving this, I
32:13
suppose, for an occasion just like this.
32:16
What I I pull out a little baggie of synth coke.
32:21
I own that synth. Coke.
32:23
I know, I know, I have a small pharmacy in my bag and I like to
32:31
be prepared. Wow, that fabrication cost you
32:35
50 eddies? That's incredible.
32:37
Hold on, I'd like to fight that GM.
32:39
Why? Because Iona took retro synth
32:45
coke. Oh, that's several times back.
32:48
That's right. You're right.
32:49
Oh, you're so sweet. Thank you for letting me steal
32:52
your synth coke. You did.
32:54
I didn't want you to steal it. You took it away because you
32:56
said I couldn't have any more synth coke.
33:00
Iona, that's retro synth coke. I know I've I've been holding on
33:04
to it for a special occasion. Oh.
33:08
And here you are, my special occasion do.
33:11
I take it now and set the front of this bar in the public.
33:15
I'm not I, I, I look around, there's not a lot of people out
33:20
there. It looks like there's more
33:20
people inside, but I bet that if you go into the bathroom of this
33:24
place. Oh.
33:24
Yeah, there's always a bathroom. That not only will you be able
33:27
to do it, there will be somebody there with more for you if you
33:32
need it. Yeah.
33:33
Because they're probably all on drugs, aren't they?
33:35
That's what I assume. Have you seen this place?
33:39
Right. No, absolutely, right.
33:41
Well, Biotechnic is through the entrance A, So I guess we're
33:45
going to go that way. All right, let's go.
33:48
OK. And Iona and Vendel head into
33:53
the Pug Pug Roller Derby. In case you need to reference
33:59
it, there is the bracket for this event.
34:03
I don't need it, Rooster, so I'll go all the way to the top.
34:05
Vivi is on a mission. Firstly, she's going to try to
34:14
aggressively, aggressively elbow and push her way through so she
34:20
can get closer. Like kind of a front row spot
34:27
and kind of just like go through the crowds aggressively.
34:30
Cool, do you take entrance A or entrance B?
34:36
Entrance Entrance a all. Right.
34:39
You can take entrance A, you flash your ticket at the
34:42
bodyguard who scans it with the barcode reader.
34:45
So I know those barcodes actually work and you step into
34:50
the north wing of the pug. Pug.
34:54
It's filled with people. There's so many people in here.
34:56
It's so busy. There's a bathroom to your N
34:59
marked on a door and to your S are two of these rooms where the
35:06
teams prep before they head into the rink themselves.
35:09
You pass by the Biotechnical 1 and the Trauma Team one.
35:15
I would look into the trauma team one.
35:16
I'm not going to like bother the players or anything, but if I'm
35:19
just going to take a peek and see if I spot Chad and and give
35:22
them a little wave. Sure.
35:25
So you step in front of the trauma team door, there's a
35:29
little LED screen on the front that has the trauma team logo in
35:34
blue. Is that the blue team?
35:37
And do you knock on the door? Yeah, you know what?
35:43
I will. Who is there?
35:49
VV here. Open.
35:55
The door, yeah. Open the door.
35:57
Hey, hi. Hi, Chad.
35:59
Hi, you're right there. Hi.
36:02
I'm in my jersey. I'm wearing my gloves.
36:04
Go my skeets. You look, get in, OK.
36:07
Yeah, yeah, you look ready to go.
36:10
I am, I am ready to go, ready to Derby.
36:14
Well, I just came to wish you good luck tonight and I will be
36:19
betting on you guys to win so. Sick.
36:21
Yeah, we're in game two. Yeah, we're up against
36:23
Biotechnica. We're going to fucking fuck him
36:25
up. Oh.
36:26
Shit. OK, No, you guys, you guys got
36:29
this. You.
36:29
Can bet on every game if you want to.
36:31
Yes, I probably will. I probably will.
36:35
Good luck Chad and team. Yeah.
36:38
Good to see he goes for a high 5B walk away.
36:40
Cool. He turns it into a wave.
36:41
But see you later. OK, she's making.
36:47
All right. There you are, VV.
36:50
Did you get the, did you get your, did we get a good spot, a
36:55
good, good area down there in the pit?
36:57
No, no, not yet. We have.
36:59
I just was wishing Chad good luck.
37:03
All right, They're playing. Oh, like, like, like wishing him
37:08
good luck. I see.
37:09
Yeah, I got you. Yeah.
37:10
Wink. All right.
37:11
Yeah. Yeah, no, I just, I, I was just
37:16
being nice. Look, being nice, I got you.
37:21
I got you Being nice. Trauma Team is playing
37:24
Biotechnica first, which means they're playing Vendel first,
37:28
which kind of sucks because I want Trauma team to go all the
37:31
way, but I. Who who we who we play some bets
37:37
on? I mean, that's.
37:38
I know. And something tells me based on
37:41
what Iona told us, I have a feeling Biotechnica might be the
37:46
winner. But I don't know.
37:48
I don't know, maybe we should like, you know, what we should
37:50
do. We should try to like, yes, yes,
37:55
we should. But we should also like, listen
37:58
around and see what people are talking about, like what the
38:02
odds are and like get get a vibe of what people think it's going
38:08
to be the winner. Yeah, yeah, I feel, I feel now,
38:11
now, now. First things first, though, And
38:14
Jim kind of turns his back towards Iona and like, hunches
38:17
over kind of awkwardly and then turns around and he's got a
38:21
flask in his hand. First things first, a drink to
38:29
just win it. We all conceal reveal object.
38:32
Oh no. Oh boy, that is in It's in
38:40
awareness. Oh no.
38:45
A bodyguard is right behind you. There's a bottle fee my dude.
38:50
It's 20 eddies. Oh well, that that's only if you
38:53
don't share, am I right? 20 eddies.
38:55
No no, you crit failed. Give me 20 eddies.
38:58
Shit. All right, God damn it.
39:02
And then he takes 2 steps, he takes, he walks about 10 feet
39:05
away from you and goes. Just kidding, but thanks for the
39:06
money. And walks out.
39:07
Oh. Shit.
39:09
And then I I just, I just turned.
39:11
Well, good thing I didn't catch the other things I got stashed
39:15
away in me on me. In me.
39:19
In me, in you. I'd be concerned, Jeb, that we
39:22
might have to do some procedures because look, I've seen, I've
39:31
seen some things in my time at the hospital.
39:34
So so much for you having the best places to conceal your
39:40
contraband. Well, to be fair, I didn't get
39:42
caught on the way in. I just got caught.
39:44
Now, when you know, I was a little hasty, perhaps.
39:50
Well, let's keep moving and let's try to, yeah, let's try to
39:53
get a good spot and just listen around to people are saying.
39:56
As you pass the vending machine, you notice that the screen is
40:00
the same as it was outside, and on it you can see the odds for
40:03
each game as it changes. What are the odds right now for
40:08
well, I guess for both games? Oh damn.
40:12
Biotechnica, of course, of course Biotechnica has the
40:15
highest odds. I'll.
40:18
Bet on them. That probably means that they
40:21
haven't been doing very well lately.
40:25
Yeah. Do you want to roll?
40:28
Do you want to? Do you want to roll streetwise
40:30
and see if you can? Find that?
40:32
Yeah, you know what? I rolled a 13 for my Streetwise.
40:37
You rolled a 13, so you know that Biotechnica have lost their
40:39
last four matches. Combat Zone are currently
40:43
undefeated and the Roosters and Trauma Team are kind of in the
40:47
mid. So Combat Zone has been doing
40:52
the best lately. Biotechnica, they've lost the
40:57
last four. That's probably why people are
41:02
betting on them. They're due for a win.
41:06
I mean, they would be the safe option to bet on.
41:11
This is why. This is why I never bet in
41:13
college, because I'm, I'm bad at, I'm bad at statistics, OK,
41:19
I'm bad at numbers. I'm a scientist.
41:22
I'm a doctor, all right? What do you think?
41:28
I mean, I think, I think we put we go 60% with Biotechnica and
41:34
40% on the other ones all. Right, let's do it.
41:38
So you can bet on each game or the whole event.
41:41
I mean, let's go game by game. That seems like the the safest
41:44
bet, you know? No pun intended.
41:47
Her perhaps a little bit intended.
41:49
OK, I think that makes sense. I think we should bet bet on
41:53
combat Zone. Combat zone has been winning a
41:57
lot. They might, but man retro.
42:02
What are the odds? There.
42:05
We do. We we got the Vegas odds on
42:06
these bad boys. Pretty evenly split could go
42:09
either way. All right, all right.
42:15
You know what? For retro, maybe we vote on the
42:17
Roosters. I think you're right.
42:20
He'd appreciate that. And then it looks like, it looks
42:24
like the Trauma team has better odds than the Biotechnica.
42:27
So they're the underdogs. Biotechnica is the underdogs,
42:30
yes. They are.
42:32
I mean, they've always been the underdogs, but yeah, sure.
42:35
Even though we got inside information that perhaps
42:38
they're, I think, playing this whole thing.
42:41
Yeah, right. Just going to pull up to them,
42:44
Yeah. You really think a bunch of
42:45
corpos are really going to be able to win this thing out?
42:47
You're out of your mind. I mean.
42:50
That's going to put 500 on the Roosters to win the whole thing,
42:53
right? 500 Jesus.
42:57
All right. Well, I guess.
42:59
Sorry 600, I forgot the 100 for pin.
43:05
I'm you know what? I'm putting 300 on the Roosters
43:08
game one I'll. Match that, Jeff.
43:12
I'll also put 300 on game one for the Roosters.
43:14
And I'll put 100 on combat zone. I'm going to put 300 on combat
43:27
zone. All right.
43:30
Something's telling me they might win.
43:32
You're feeling it, huh? Yeah, that's what I'm feeling.
43:36
I don't know, Retro's been telling me all about his birds
43:38
here and I'm inclined to take him up on it.
43:46
I think it's all talk. I give AI give a retro fisma.
43:50
Fist bump back. Yeah.
43:52
To say it's all the talk, but you know it's going to be the
43:55
rooster who walks walk away. The Roosters fans are
44:01
insufferable, so secretly I want them to lose.
44:05
But don't tell Retro that. All right, we've made our bets.
44:09
Now we have to find a good seat. And VV Jeb and Retro head out to
44:18
go and find their seats. I see that Jane and Vivienne are
44:23
here and I would love to talk to them.
44:25
Yes, yes, you are very astute. Well done.
44:28
You walk through the space and as you walk through entrance,
44:30
say Iona. You come to a table quite close
44:33
to the rink and there is Jane and Vivienne.
44:38
Do things look like they're going well?
44:41
Oh, they're having a smashing time.
44:44
Vivienne is very eccentric. Oh, I love this, I love this.
44:50
Hello, you too. Oh, hello, darling.
44:54
Iona kisses left, right and left.
44:57
Fabulous. It's.
44:58
So good to see you. I hear Danny hates you now,
45:01
love. It I know it's I, I feel like
45:04
I've made an arch nemesis in the city.
45:07
Got to have one every season. Every season.
45:11
Two more times a year for me, you know, because it's time.
45:15
Anyway, this is my assistant, Jane.
45:16
She says that she knows you, Janey.
45:18
Janey girly girl. Hi, Jane and I do know each
45:23
other, yes. I'm not on the clock right now.
45:27
I'm also wicked drunk because I wrote it to him.
45:32
I love that Jane. Did I?
45:33
Did I ever introduce you to Vendel my my assistant?
45:38
Oh, hello. Oh, hi.
45:40
That's very firm handshake. Thank you very much.
45:43
Thank you. It's it's the alcohol vendale.
45:46
Don't worry, apparently, well, I I'm just beyond ecstatic to see
45:52
you 2 working together. This is this is exactly what I
45:56
wanted. Taking Danny's last assistant.
45:59
I love it. Please.
46:01
Anyway, honey, did you do any bats?
46:05
Not yet. I was.
46:06
It was a little crowded near the vending machine.
46:08
So I mean, do you have an idea where the money should be
46:14
flowing well? Rumor is in the corpo, like you
46:19
know, what is it? What do they call it fantasy
46:21
Derby something something that like combat zone is going to
46:26
fucking floor it or whatever. But you know, who wants the
46:29
fucking riff raff to win? So I put like, you know, a few
46:33
hundreds an hour on them by 10 ago.
46:36
I think that that's a safe bet, actually.
46:39
Yeah, I love that these betting keys have no limit.
46:41
I heard one guy to like a million a day.
46:45
It's a problem. Gambling is an addiction.
46:50
Maybe watch yourself as well, Vivian.
46:52
We want to make sure that we all take care of ourselves and oh.
46:55
Please, I'll use the corporate card.
46:58
Who am I kidding? Wrong for bureaucracy.
47:03
You are too much. You are just too much sometimes.
47:07
So you here for the Biotechnica thing?
47:09
I hear they lost the rabbit. Are they going?
47:10
To play, I actually have the rabbit right here.
47:15
Oh, you. Oh.
47:16
Cyberleg. Oh, I'm so glad I paid.
47:19
I'm so glad I bet on you. I love cybernetics, I'm brave
47:24
enough to do it myself. Vendel Vendel is a powerful
47:29
player and we expect them to do their best and still forget to
47:34
do the drugs. And stuff.
47:39
What drugs do they do? Mostly coke, do you?
47:42
Want some I want to do right now.
47:44
And she just bumped some coke right in front of you.
47:48
I'm not giving Jane any because the last time I did, they just
47:50
kind of went a bit comatose. We have to build up our
47:54
tolerance, you know, new assistance.
47:57
She'll get there, but we we'll go place our bets and we, I
48:03
guess I'm heading over to my VIP seat and Bendel, I suppose you
48:07
need to go meet the team. Sure, we can meet the team.
48:13
I'll see you later, Ayanna. Good luck.
48:15
Good luck. Bye.
48:18
And Bendel goes over to the Biotechnica.
48:23
I mean, there's an announcement. Game one will begin in 5
48:27
minutes. I am going to bet that thousand
48:32
that we just got on Biotechnica and then whatever money Ping
48:37
gave me for Biotechnica as well, OK, just overall well.
48:41
That that was. Just to win, No, To fully win,
48:44
you can bet now you did that for Roosters.
48:49
And I can also continue to bet for each.
48:51
Game, Yeah, yeah. So if you wanted to bet on game
48:53
one, you can. Do you need the roster?
48:56
No, I it's trauma team. No no, it's combat zone and
48:59
Roosters. I am not going to bet on the
49:04
first game. Actually, I don't care.
49:07
Oh interesting you refrain from betting on the first game.
49:11
Correct. And you head to the other side
49:14
of the building where the VIP section is.
49:18
You can step up to the bar along with retro.
49:21
Do you go to the VIP section as well?
49:24
Yeah, I do go to the VIP section totally cheering on the rest of
49:30
the Roosters. Actually.
49:31
Can I see if other Roosters know me?
49:33
I did claim to be one of the top cheerleaders of the Roosters.
49:38
The Roosters are locked away in their room getting ready for the
49:42
match that is in 5 minutes. I meant I meant the coop, I
49:45
meant the the fans. Yes, roll for it.
49:48
Yes. For fans, Absolutely yes.
49:50
Roll for it. OK, Nope, not that.
49:58
I don't know where you are. I'm.
50:00
In control right now, that's where I am.
50:03
My owner in retro, as you're walking over to the VIP section,
50:07
a bunch of people are like. Yo Retro.
50:13
And you get high fives from a bunch of people as you walk into
50:15
the VIP and one guy called Tiny looks at you and says.
50:20
Dude, you got VIP. That's it.
50:22
I know, man. Hey, look, I'm sorry I can't be
50:24
with the coop tonight. I mean, I'm excited to even be
50:26
here, but hey, I'm still going to take the lead from the VIP
50:30
section. All right?
50:31
When I get ready to when I start, let's crow.
50:34
We all do. Let's crow, right?
50:36
Let's crow. I'm I'm going to wait till you
50:39
let me start it. When we when they start doing
50:41
the pace lap is when we're going.
50:42
To do it. And as you're having this
50:44
conversation, you notice through the bubble that the team have
50:47
begun to get into their spots. I don't know if this is going to
50:51
help out or not depending on how you run running this part of the
50:54
game. But for the first lap, as we all
50:57
know, there is kind of like the pace lap.
51:00
Is this everybody kind of getting warmed up and get
51:02
started during that point as top cheerleader that's here, Retro
51:07
is going to go ahead and start Let's crow for the Roosters,
51:10
which kind of goes like this. Roosters, let's go.
51:13
In the rain to the night, skating so fast.
51:15
Yeah, we're out of sight. Every block, every fight.
51:19
Renta Coronado, our team's dynamite.
51:23
Roosters, Roosters, let's go. Roosters, Roosters, let's go.
51:33
That is parody enough. You can get away with it.
51:36
Roosters, boosters. Let's go, let's go.
51:40
That was. That was.
51:41
You can use that if you want, or don't.
51:45
And the match begins. All right, Roosters, go Oscars.
51:48
Go Roosters. Let's go, Firehouse.
51:51
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, days and dens, welcome to
51:56
the Level. Match teams are at the start.
52:08
Line. And the green light says go
52:12
first lap chicks got an early. Lead.
52:15
All right, really sting fast and turning left and quickly getting
52:20
neck and neck with the CZC's. All right, no contacts just yet.
52:25
The first round is smooth as the teams create the deadly spread.
52:29
Deadly spread. All right, with the first round
52:32
complete, that was a fast one. The spread is pretty even, but
52:37
his weapons are good, and the chase begins.
52:40
It's so close. Combat Zone Jammer rips forward
52:43
to close the distance, narrowly missing that clothesline by the
52:47
water on the Roosters team. Oh no, that clothesline was a
52:52
member. Now we're seeing some combat Zoo
52:57
rolls a crit success on him and has closed the distance, really
53:01
giving it their all. And with that swing, the rabbits
53:04
got the blows. Rep says there's no foul play,
53:08
so we keep on rolling. Oh, wow.
53:12
All around the cell now, the rabbit's still wobbling, Lost
53:16
some speed there. The Roosters throw a backhand
53:20
hit and their second jammer clinches a hit on the combat
53:23
zone rabbit and we are one to one.
53:25
Isn't anyone's game. The crowd, the Roosters take a
53:33
little needle, the commotion, and now that rabbit has eight.
53:37
Look at that spin. You can get the crap.
53:42
Oh, no. Did she just drip and fall?
53:45
That's a lot of wood. She's back up the jammers hot on
53:49
her tail. She's got those hits.
53:52
No. Oh, oh, that's two hits and
53:56
she's gaining a little leap. Oh, she's really struggling to
54:00
get away. What are the Roosters blockers
54:03
doing? She's all on her own out there
54:05
at the front. No support.
54:08
Oh, that's two more, and that's five.
54:10
And here's. The football, that's the.
54:14
Game oh all right OK everyone the crowd goes wild this has
54:18
been an insane match over almost before the 3rd lap was even
54:23
finished that's quick that's fast that's we're trying to
54:26
cover this but there's the the chick the rabbit on the team for
54:32
the Roosters she's she's not getting up got a referee coming
54:38
down right now coming down from this observation platform and
54:42
whatever. That was a.
54:44
Lot of point. We know that people get hurt in
54:46
the ring, but this doesn't look good.
54:54
Sorry about that. That is automatic.
54:56
I did not mean to be insensitive.
54:58
I truly hope that Chic is OK. Hopefully, they'll be ready for
55:02
their next match in the losers bracket for Game 3.
55:07
This is bullshit. Oh, I think I won money.
55:10
Yeah, son of a bitch, God damn it.
55:15
Muse Bieber's. Blonde.
55:16
You can see the referee jumped down onto the track and the
55:18
rabbits not getting up. Oh.
55:22
Shit, Jeff, this might be serious.
55:26
Oh shit, what? Did you do to check?
55:30
What did you do to check? Boo.
55:43
Next time on no latency. Is that a fatality?
55:51
Do they get points for that? I understand competition, but
55:54
come on now. No, they don't get points for
55:56
the fatality. I'm a doctor, I can help.
55:58
Oh, that's going to need some reconstruction, I think.
56:01
Are you all going to be like hovering over me while I'm
56:03
trying to do this? You do you do a dab.
56:05
You look beautiful. Jesus Christ, Retro, what are
56:08
you doing? Retro.
56:09
That's not even a person come back.
56:11
Sometimes you got to go big, you know?
56:13
No, let it let. Let him go.
56:16
Let him do his thing. Think.
56:17
About we got to take out. We got to think.
56:18
About that's a That's a heavy accusation.
56:20
So we're going to put the rest of my money, all 150 of it.
56:23
On biotech put more money on it and then I I'm betting 200.
56:28
Go Chad, star player. Now you might be leading them
56:31
all. Whoa, Vendel, go.
56:33
You've got this. I don't know what.
56:34
To root for. Up and at them.
56:38
Bad Rabbit. Oh, that's a very unchecked
56:40
move. Apparently he's doing good.
57:10
Chrome, you're right. Thank you for joining us on our
57:15
adventure once again here at No Latency.
57:19
Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at No Latency Pod check
57:22
out our website at nolatencypodcast.com.
57:26
And if you'd like to support us further, we have a Patreon.
57:29
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add free episodes and so much more with weekly content to say
57:36
thank you to our supporters and even spice up your own Cyberpunk
57:40
Red games at home. No matter what level your
57:44
support, thank you again so much for listening.
57:47
We literally couldn't do this without you.
57:48
And of course, see you next time in Night City.
57:55
Thanks for listening, Jim.