Latest / The Bigger Stage w/ Matt Stone / How Ubuntu Can Transform the Way We Lead and Work | Nobantu Mpotulo
Transcript
- BBR Show - Pre-Launch Convo - Nobantu Mpotulo === Matt Stone: [00:00:00] All right. Welcome to the Building Business Relationship Show. I'm Matt Stone, and before we officially launch in 2026, we're exploring what matters most when it comes to relationships in business. These early episodes are about testing ideas, learning from guests, and boy do we have a good one today, and hearing what you think belongs in the conversation. Please listen in or watch. Share your thoughts and help shape what this podcast becomes. And today, joining me is Nobantu who grew up in apartheid South Africa as an African woman not being seen or recognized, and this challenge was turned around to ensure that those that are at the. Bottom of the ladder are seen and heard. Nobantu holds the International Coaching Federation's Master certified Coach credential, a distinction earned by only 6% of coaches globally. She is a well sought out international speaker, [00:01:00] coach, coach trainer and organizational development specialist. Nobantu has developed an internationally recognized coach training program using the ancient African wisdom of Ubuntu. Ubuntu is about seeing and listening to all humanizing leadership interconnectedness and bringing in the heart and backbone to leading. The Ubuntu mantra she developed is see more, hear more, love more, illuminate more, be more for others to become and do less. The quotation she lives by is from Viktor Frankl. Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. Nobantu is a mindfulness teacher, Enneagram teacher, African and systemic constellation facilitator, process work facilitator, and peace circle [00:02:00] facilitator. Other than that, she's not up to anything at all. And Nobantu is just an amazing human being as well, that I have the privilege of knowing and calling my friend. And, uh, Nobantu, thank you for taking a few minutes with me today. Nobantu: Thank you, dearest Matt. It's good Matt Stone: I. Nobantu: connecting with you right now. Matt Stone: It's always, always special. I really appreciate it. And you know the topic, it's all about exploring relationships. I have a feeling there's a strong connection between Ubuntu and relationships, but we'll get into that in a minute. I wanna start, like, I'm starting with all of these pre-launch conversations because this is really about exploring. The topics and expanding our minds about what relationships mean in business. Is there really even a distinction between business relationships and relationships, things like that. [00:03:00] And what can we be thinking about differently in this age of digital and AI and all of this? What role do relationships play in us thriving and creating a better future for ourselves in business and elsewhere? Matt Stone: So let's start with a memory from your life and your career. Looking back, can you think of a business relationship or a relationship that came through business or went into business that had a major impact on your career and your life? Nobantu: Thank you for this question, Matt, and I'm finding myself smiling and my heart opening just thinking about that, uh, relationship. Uh, this is a relationship that happened 40 years ago when I started working. I was fortunate to finish my undergrad at the early age of 19, so [00:04:00] by 21 I had my post-grad, uh, qualifications. Nobantu: And at 22 I started working at a university as a student counselor. And I remember how daunting it was for me at the age of 22 going there to counsel students, and the university had a majority of part-time students who were even older than me, much older, some were even as old as my parents. And here I was at a tender age of 22, trying to show them the way. Nobantu: And here I met the director of the Center for Student Development, Cynthia Mpati. Amazingly, she looks at me and with such a smile and an [00:05:00] open heart. When I started, all she did was just to tell me what was expected of me and the question she asked me, you look this tiny, you are 22. How are you going to help these people who are even older than you? Nobantu: And my answer to that was, I always bring the heart to whatever I do, and I think my heart would be big enough for whatever age I had to work with. I saw her smiling and then she said, you're speaking my language. Because in this work that we do, bringing the heart and showing love is what make [00:06:00] people to thrive. Nobantu: And with dealing with, uh, a generation that was deprived of education because of the discrimination, the oppression of South Africa. So all we need is your heart. And then what Cynthia did for me was giving me a leeway to experiment because I had no work experience and she had so much confidence in me. And because of that, I found myself wanting to make sure that she doesn't regret her decision to appoint me. Nobantu: I remember a year into the role I organized, uh, a big careers week. [00:07:00] I was able to invite various professionals. I was able to invite students, high school students from remote areas in the eastern Cape. As I think about it, then even the infrastructure was not developed. Some of the students were studying under trees. Nobantu: There were no buildings no infrastructure. because she had so much confidence in me, I was able to pull this off. And as a result, I got noticed by the president of the institution. Professor Nkuhlu said she cannot remain here, she's got to be developed further. I got a British Council scholarship and I went to [00:08:00] further my studies in England. Nobantu: So for me, what this says as leaders, when we recognize potential in the people who are new at work, we make the people welcome. We see the people and we enable them to soar. We become the wind beneath their wings. People are able reach amazing heights. So, and as I'm saying this, Matt, I'm, I'm just feeling my chest filled with love and appreciation. Nobantu: And this, for me, from that age of early adulthood, made me to make sure that I will always lift [00:09:00] people as I rise and make sure that they get to experience the full potential. Matt Stone: I am sitting here thinking of follow-up questions and all the follow-up questions I'm thinking about you're answering as I just sit and listen because of course. This Cynthia, she lives inside of you. She, she's continues to live inside of you, in, in everything that you do. And, uh, it's the gift that keeps on giving. I mean, it's amazing when you pour yourself into somebody. It's a lifetime Matt Stone: gift. It's not a one-time gift. Nobantu: We all love to be seen. We all love to be heard. We all love to be loved. Hmm. And she just did that for me. Matt Stone: So many times when you say the word, relationship [00:10:00] people don't think of business first in a lot of cases they think, oh, it's your personal life or whatever. But how has this impacted other business relationships of yours? I mean, how does Cynthia show up in your business today? I know you've helped a lot of people and Matt Stone: continue to, how else does Cynthia, that experience with Cynthia power your business in a way? Nobantu: For me, uh, what Cynthia did was epitomizing the spirit of Ubuntu, which is ancient African wisdom. Ubuntu is about connectedness. It's about interrelatedness. It's about inter beingness, and when I say inter beingness, it's not just being compassionate to only human [00:11:00] beings or beings that are seen. It's about the compassion, the love, and ensuring the wellness of all beings. Nobantu: Those that are seen and those that are not seen. In this Ubuntu, this interconnectedness, we see ourselves in other beings, and then when we see ourselves in others, that means as I'm seeing you right now, Matt, you are an extension of me. And I wouldn't harm you because if I harm you, I will be harming myself. Nobantu: And then this, then enable us to be able to embrace [00:12:00] and acknowledge our shadows, for instance, something that, that sort of irks you in another person. So what I do, when I find that I pause and then I see what is it that is making me so reactive in the other and hold and behold. I find that what really triggers me in somebody else, it's something that I have not honored and embraced in me. Nobantu: So once I do that then seeing that I'm very much human, I'm infallible, I'm not, I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm also, you know, make mistakes and everything. I then have compassion for myself and then that builds the compassion for others. [00:13:00] So what then with that Ubuntu that I grew up with. With having experienced that with Cynthia, whoever I work with, I remember as a student counselor at the university, even up to now I meet people who are presidents of companies, and when they meet me, they would say, if you had not seen me, I wouldn't be occupying this role. Nobantu: You were able to give us that confidence that we can do it. And I'm first generation at university. No one in my family has gone beyond maybe grade four or five. No one has a high school diploma in my family. But because you saw me, then I saw myself, [00:14:00] I was able to be fully who I was destined to be. And not just stopping at that Matt. Nobantu: And then when I grew up a little bit in 2000, I find myself starting to coach. And then what I found in organization was that those who were mostly harsh, those who were results oriented, those who were driving profits were the ones who were recognized. And as they went up the ladder, there were people who were lying on the floor. Nobantu: So then I found that I needed to bring Ubuntu in coaching. Hence, I [00:15:00] developed the Ubuntu coaching program, humanizing leadership and helping leaders to lead with heart and backbone, because Ubuntu doesn't mean that we abdicate responsibility and we don't call for accountability. But it starts to encourage us to do that from the heart with compassion and with empathy. Nobantu: So I've found myself really doing that throughout my life, and the feedback I get wherever I go is, we can see your heart. It might be covered by bones and flesh. But your heart is truly, uh, palpable. Nobantu: There's nothing that will compromise that. And right now I am, uh, [00:16:00] mentoring a group of women from Palestine. Nobantu: And as we go through this two year program, we are looking at how can we, instead of using firearms. How can we fight with the heart? Nobantu: Love the people who persecute you. Matt Stone: Ooh, that is powerful. Um, listen, I really only have one other question for you 'cause this is a short conversation today, and I, I know we're, we'll pick up a longer conversation and hopefully have panels of people and I want you to be a part of it if you're willing to, when we launched the full show. But, um, what is it that we should be talking about that we're not talking about enough or not at all? What should we cover? Nobantu: I think for me is seeing each other. [00:17:00] Uh, when we greet here in this part of the world, we say, "Sawubona" I see you. How can we see each other in organizations? And how can we see with the eyes of the heart? We congregate in meetings. What's the top of the agenda? Have we met our targets? How much do you know about this person? Nobantu: Are you aware of what your colleagues are going through? Nobantu: And also how do we fully inhabit our beingness in organizations? And by being, how do we cultivate, how do we enhance our [00:18:00] presence through our beings? Being with what is happening in the here and now. Most of the time in organizations, we look back in the past. We haven't done this. Let's just rush, rush to the future. Nobantu: And improve on these results, and we miss the gift of the present. What's happening now? What can we harvest from the present? And what is it that we can tap to in the unknown that's waiting to reveal itself in the now? Nobantu: And how do we choose Matt Stone: Wow. Nobantu: right? Matt Stone: I was just thinking about redefining efficiency, you know, how inefficient is it to waste so many opportunities to [00:19:00] deepen our connection with one another so we can do more together when we're, you know, when we're trying to be productive and we're leaving bodies behind us, we're leaving souls behind us and disconnection just to get it done, but then it harms our ability to innovate in the future and to be all that we can be together, Matt Stone: um, by, Nobantu: that is right there in front of you. We look outside, we look at the support of consultants, and yet we have the mine here. Why don't we Matt Stone: right Nobantu: right here? Matt Stone: Why are we not mining right here where the gold is? We're going outside for it. Oh Matt Stone: my goodness. That is. Nobantu: it already? We've already paid for it. Matt Stone: Paying tons, paying tons of Matt Stone: money. Sorry, consultants. But you know, it's true. Um, and, and I just wanna say as we wrap up, you know, we need each other around the [00:20:00] world because you're such a great example of bringing different cultural, perspectives on it and spiritual, practices and traditions to this to be able to see it through different eyes. We're all human so we all experience the same emotional ranges, but you know, to bring it through the eyes and the lens of Ubuntu and your rich experience and your unfortunate, awful experience with apartheid. But what we can learn through your eyes and your experience, it applies directly to how we do business around the world with one another. Because business is just people Matt Stone: trying, trying to work together. So I'm just so grateful, you know, to get the, your perspective and your heart, which is always present with you. Always. Matt Stone: Thank you so. Nobantu: when you share it and open it. Matt Stone: Yeah, absolutely. Matt Stone: I'm gonna leave it there 'cause I promised you a short episode, so I'm gonna wrap it up [00:21:00] with a huge thank you, a heartfelt thank you. And I just want to thank everyone for listening to this pre-launch conversation with my friend Nobantu, uh, on the Building Business Relationships Show. Matt Stone: This pre-launch phase is all about discovery, so if something sparked your interest. We'd love to hear from you. Please share your thoughts, ideas, guest suggestions, and help us shape the conversations to come. And of course, subscribe. So you'll be the first to know when we officially launch. Thank you so much. Nobantu: Thank you.