Latest / The Lila Rose Show / E293: The Reality of 7 Kids: Chaos, Conversion, and the "Body Horror" Myth | Lila Rose Show

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E293: The Reality of 7 Kids: Chaos, Conversion, and the "Body Horror" Myth | Lila Rose Show · The Lila Rose Show

• 0:00
  People will comment, oh why do you hate yourself so much?
• 0:03
  Because you're pregnant for the 7th time.
• 0:05
  There's going to come a time in your life where your hug, your
• 0:07
  kiss, your words aren't going to do anything for your kid.
• 0:09
  Well, when they're this young. Just soak it in while you can.
• 0:12
  You know you. Feel fear going into preparing
• 0:15
  for birth? Honestly, if I'm going to be
• 0:17
  totally candid, my husband and I have a solid marriage.
• 0:20
  We are best friends. I love him but put a real
• 0:23
  tension in our relationship. OK, really quick thumbs up or
• 0:25
  down in Botox? My philosophy with this stuff is
• 0:30
  so funny, but anyways. Hey everyone, welcome back to
• 0:35
  the Lila Rose Show. A huge thank you to everybody
• 0:37
  who has been subscribing to the show.
• 0:39
  I'm so grateful for the community that we are building
• 0:41
  here. If you're not already
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  subscribed, make sure to hit that subscribe button and leave
• 0:45
  this video a like if you enjoy this episode.
• 0:47
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• 0:52
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  Your pick. I hope that you enjoy.
• 1:15
  Chrissy Horton, welcome back to the podcast.
• 1:17
  Thanks so much for having me, I love being here and getting to
• 1:19
  chat with you. Here we were already like
• 1:21
  talking about all the things and I was like, wait, stop.
• 1:23
  We. Have to start the podcast.
• 1:25
  You have to be rolling before we talk about these things.
• 1:27
  We've already started the podcast, guys.
• 1:28
  We're going to catch up, but thanks for coming back.
• 1:30
  I just love being here and we have.
• 1:32
  Another human on set today. We don't have a name though, but
• 1:35
  we know that he's a boy. I'm going to cry.
• 1:38
  There's. Going to be tears as far as I've
• 1:41
  just been so emotional pregnant lately crying over everything.
• 1:45
  25 weeks, right? Probably more.
• 1:48
  Wow, when you're 7th kid you just you just.
• 1:51
  You just get pregnant you. Depend on those doctor visits to
• 1:53
  tell you where you're at. You're more than halfway
• 1:57
  through, though. Yes, yeah, I'm due in May.
• 2:00
  So where are we at February? Do your babies usually come on
• 2:04
  time? No.
• 2:05
  They come like 2 weeks late. Oh my God.
• 2:08
  And then I have like 1011 LB babies and we wonder why.
• 2:11
  My goodness. Yeah.
• 2:14
  No gestational diabetes either. I just for huge.
• 2:17
  They're just. Huge.
• 2:17
  Are they all 10 lbs. My the runt of our family is was
• 2:22
  8 lbs at birth. Were you big as a?
• 2:27
  Baby, I was big, my husband was big, my dad was big.
• 2:30
  And so I think I don't have any science on this, but I think
• 2:33
  it's genetics. Like my kids aren't like they're
• 2:35
  very tall, they're very tall, but other than that.
• 2:38
  Like and you and you and Tim are tall, but you're not like super.
• 2:41
  Tall, 61. I'm 58.
• 2:44
  Not like no basketball players, you know what I'm saying?
• 2:47
  But. So how are you feeling?
• 2:49
  Good. Yeah, I mean a little more tired
• 2:52
  and some people ask, oh, is it because of the age?
• 2:55
  And I'm like, I don't think so, truly.
• 2:57
  I don't think so. I think it's more of like just
• 2:59
  having more children to rear while you're.
• 3:01
  Age, meaning you're 27 1/2 and so.
• 3:04
  No, like, well, because you know, compared to like when I
• 3:06
  first got pregnant, Yeah, exactly when I was 27 and then
• 3:09
  when I you're. 27 now Oh yeah, I know yeah, the. 80s was only 20
• 3:12
  years ago. Oh gosh. 20 years.
• 3:16
  Yeah, that's the math and that's what we're singing too.
• 3:19
  But yeah, you know, I'm in my late 30s now, I guess.
• 3:22
  And so and so people are like, oh, is it harder because you're
• 3:28
  older? And I'm like, I don't, I don't
• 3:29
  know. I, I have a hard time comparing
• 3:31
  because I don't, I don't think so.
• 3:34
  Honestly. I think it's just more
• 3:36
  demanding. I'm more tired based on the fact
• 3:38
  that there's just more responsibility.
• 3:40
  You have six other kids. Yeah, and they're young.
• 3:42
  Yeah, they're young. So I mean, I feel once I get to
• 3:47
  the second trimester, the first trimester, I'm just, I'm
• 3:51
  useless. What is what is that?
• 3:52
  You get nausea? What is the Yeah, what is it
• 3:54
  always with all the babies? It's been all of them, Yeah, but
• 3:58
  I haven't had what's the, what's the one with, like severe
• 4:00
  nausea? It's like each.
• 4:02
  I know what you're talking about.
• 4:03
  Your yeah. I don't have that.
• 4:04
  I don't have that. That's good.
• 4:05
  How do you do that when you've got 5-6 kids at?
• 4:08
  Home. God bless these women.
• 4:09
  I know. Who is it?
• 4:10
  That's Princess. Kate, right, Princess Kate?
• 4:12
  I think she did. But St.
• 4:13
  Gianna, I think, had it. Really, I think Gianna's so
• 4:17
  fascinating because she was a doctor.
• 4:19
  She was obviously a very, you know, loving wife.
• 4:22
  And then she has these three kids, right?
• 4:24
  And #4 was the, was it #4? Yeah #4 She's amazing.
• 4:29
  And she she is someone I think of when it comes to sacrifice,
• 4:34
  you know, especially in uncomfortable just when you're
• 4:36
  pregnant. It's like, how many more times
• 4:37
  do I need to do this? But it's, I mean, my pregnancy
• 4:41
  is my pregnant brain. This is going to be an
• 4:45
  interesting. This is a great podcast.
• 4:47
  We're just talking, OK? You know, they're not, they're,
• 4:51
  I guess there's always someone suffering more than you.
• 4:53
  Obviously, you know what I mean. And so I try to be very mindful
• 4:56
  of I, I, I, I guess in comparison, my pregnancies, I
• 5:02
  guess are easy. But someone said something like
• 5:04
  your, your pain is your pain. Like, you know, it's just, if
• 5:08
  you're uncomfortable, you're uncomfortable.
• 5:09
  And so sometimes when I am uncomfortable, you know, it's
• 5:12
  hard. It's like, oh, I'm doing this
• 5:13
  for the 7th time. Like, Can you believe this?
• 5:15
  Like how many more times? But then you have your babies
• 5:18
  and you look at them and I, I mean, especially this pregnancy,
• 5:21
  I've been so emotional. But I was just seeing like my 6
• 5:23
  kids, they're really into Star Wars right now.
• 5:25
  So they're like with their lightsabers, all of them playing
• 5:27
  like even the one year old getting in on it, you know, and
• 5:29
  they just all have this amazing bond and it's just.
• 5:33
  It's beautiful. It's like a party every day.
• 5:35
  Well, what I think what is what I like though about what you're
• 5:38
  sharing is that I think some people say, well, my pregnancies
• 5:41
  are really hard, so I'm only going to have, you know, 1234
• 5:45
  maybe Max kids. And so people that I think the,
• 5:49
  there's a sort of maybe assumption that, well, if
• 5:51
  someone is having a lot of children, like you're on #7 how
• 5:55
  old's your oldest again? Only 10.
• 5:57
  Yeah, you're a 7 under 10 and 10 and under.
• 6:00
  And so there's this assumption that, well, then you must have
• 6:03
  easy pregnancies. Everything's easy.
• 6:05
  And I think the point is like, no, like you were telling me
• 6:08
  earlier, you've got, you know, obviously the nausea you've got
• 6:10
  when I say 2 hernias, I. Don't really talk about them as
• 6:13
  much, but yeah, you'll be, you're probably going to see it
• 6:16
  throughout the show like. But it's not.
• 6:17
  Like. It's not easy breezy as my
• 6:19
  point. Now, obviously every like you
• 6:20
  said, it's a it's a spectrum. Everybody has a different
• 6:22
  experience. But one thing we talked about
• 6:25
  when you first came on the show was just openness to life and
• 6:28
  how you and Tim had your huge conversion.
• 6:29
  And now, you know, before this was when you had six.
• 6:32
  So this is the new news. Yes.
• 6:34
  So we're not announcing it because you've already announced
• 6:36
  it on social media. But but yeah, it's just
• 6:39
  beautiful. Thank you for being an example
• 6:41
  to other families. It's just your your yes to life.
• 6:44
  You're just realness about what it takes in a family and how
• 6:48
  that your family life goes. I think it's very encouraging
• 6:50
  for people. It's encouraging for me, it's
• 6:52
  encouraging for. A lot of people that means a
• 6:53
  lot. I, I truly, I mean, it's not on
• 6:56
  your own, it's not on your own. And that's the thing.
• 6:58
  I think a lot of people will look at this and they'll say
• 7:01
  like, how, how are you doing it? I'm like, well, I'm not doing it
• 7:03
  by myself. You know, my husband and I are a
• 7:05
  team and all the families I know these big families with I'm I'm
• 7:10
  talking like 11 plus kids. Like they have the most
• 7:13
  beautiful marriage. And that's probably why she
• 7:15
  keeps getting pregnant. Like there's just so much love
• 7:18
  there. And there seems to be this
• 7:22
  narrative of like oppression when you have.
• 7:25
  A lot of kids. No, it's true.
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  And I think something's wrong with you or the marriage.
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  Or like you're just submitting your body to your husband and
• 7:32
  just like a handmaid essentially to your husband.
• 7:34
  I think the operating principle is that women don't want like,
• 7:37
  it's unnatural for women to have a lot of children somehow, and
• 7:40
  it's against her interest. And that's like a very real
• 7:43
  cultural trend. It's like somehow it's not for
• 7:45
  the woman to have a lot of kids. It's not a good thing.
• 7:48
  Which is interesting when our bodies, there's lots of women
• 7:50
  who do and our bodies can do it. You know, I have a friend who's
• 7:52
  49 and pregnant. Naturally, she thought she was
• 7:55
  going through pre menopause. And because she's, she looked,
• 7:58
  she said I was just like you. I have a kid that, you know,
• 8:00
  like every two years, every 18 months or whatever, every 16
• 8:03
  months. And then she had her 10th.
• 8:07
  Amazing. And you know, then he turned 3
• 8:10
  and she still wasn't pregnant, turned 4, still wasn't pregnant,
• 8:12
  turned 5. And she's like, OK, like I'm in
• 8:14
  my mid 40s. Wait, she had her 10th at like
• 8:16
  40 or 41 or something? Maybe, yeah, maybe like early
• 8:18
  40s. Wow, yeah.
• 8:21
  Because he's 6 now. And so so, you know, if you're
• 8:25
  so used to that, right, like you get, you're pregnant and then
• 8:27
  you're like, OK, it's been three years.
• 8:28
  Oh, it's been four years. Oh, it's been five years.
• 8:30
  We're done. Gone by our own.
• 8:32
  Choice but. But it must have been God's
• 8:33
  will. Like I'm in my mid 40s.
• 8:34
  This makes sense. 49 she finds all she's she think, I think she
• 8:39
  thinks she's going through pre menopause, right?
• 8:41
  And then she's like, oh, I'm, I'm pregnant, like, you know,
• 8:43
  and a part of me wondered. And then she's not the only one
• 8:47
  I know who's pregnant at this age and I know she's like, I
• 8:51
  feel like a freak show walking around and I go, that's such a
• 8:55
  shame that this is like what it's come to because clearly
• 8:58
  like this was all natural. There was like no hormones
• 9:00
  involved. You know what I mean?
• 9:01
  Like, and a part of me wonders is this kind of how it was
• 9:05
  always been like is that what's actually, I don't want to say
• 9:08
  like normal, but women like her son just got married, right?
• 9:12
  And so and so she's like, they could potentially be having
• 9:16
  babies at the same time and automatically be like, that's so
• 9:19
  weird, right? But I'm like, I don't know, our
• 9:21
  bodies are doing it. It's not supposed to be weird.
• 9:24
  That's what I'm saying. We.
• 9:25
  Are the weird ones I think in modern times.
• 9:28
  But like a woman's fertility window is 20 plus years
• 9:31
  typically and that's beautiful. And to say like that's bad or
• 9:36
  weird or like, you know, and I, I think about other women I know
• 9:39
  like Rachel Campbell's Duffy, I don't know if you've seen her,
• 9:41
  she's like a Fox News host. She's a friend of mine.
• 9:43
  She's amazing, beautiful family. They have 9 kids.
• 9:47
  She had her last. She was either 48 or 49
• 9:49
  naturally. Everything just, you know, she's
• 9:51
  just like you're just. Open to God's will, you're not
• 9:53
  like you were. Just love each other a lot,
• 9:54
  love, love the kids a lot. And they're this beautiful
• 9:57
  family. But that's I think that should
• 9:59
  be more normalized as opposed to this idea that even only only
• 10:03
  like the, I think the geriatric, geriatric pregnancy like
• 10:07
  slanderous title, like you're 35.
• 10:10
  I mean, yeah. Because if I get pregnant, I
• 10:11
  mean, you know, we'd love to get pregnant again soon.
• 10:14
  You're pregnant. We're both 35 plus we're
• 10:16
  geriatrics. We're geriatrics now.
• 10:18
  And it's and it's just, I mean, it's fine.
• 10:20
  I don't care about the medical term, but I think the the, the
• 10:22
  message a lot of women get is there's something wrong if you
• 10:26
  have babies later in life, there's some kind of a problem
• 10:29
  for the baby or for you. And the reality is it's just
• 10:32
  part of God's design that you're able to.
• 10:34
  I'm I'm sure there are more risk, obviously, like there's a
• 10:37
  reason why they have that, that title, right.
• 10:39
  But yeah, to give me, I was like, maybe this is how it's
• 10:42
  kind of was supposed to be. Not, not for everyone,
• 10:44
  obviously. I mean, there are people who
• 10:46
  just naturally stop having kids in their mid 40s as well, But it
• 10:49
  just, it was so eye opening to me.
• 10:51
  And Oh my gosh, if I learned about my friend before my
• 10:55
  conviction, I would the religious weirdos, religious
• 10:59
  weirdos, you know, like I would have just totally written it
• 11:01
  off. And, and I, and now I look back,
• 11:03
  I was like, why? Like I'm kind of deconstructing
• 11:05
  this like worldly view I had, right, of why, why was it so
• 11:09
  weird? And it's, I mean, I guess you're
• 11:11
  just a product of your environment, right?
• 11:15
  But yeah. And it's like, it's just
• 11:16
  exciting. It's so exciting for them.
• 11:18
  Like they thought like, I don't know, like they're going to have
• 11:21
  this new baby. And she, oh, she said the
• 11:22
  greatest, the greatest thing. She goes, I'm going to be able
• 11:25
  to experience like the first time mom, but with all my
• 11:28
  knowledge, how sweet isn't that like, yeah, she's like she's
• 11:31
  going to be able to like take it in and like it's just.
• 11:34
  And so IA big argument people will have like this is really
• 11:36
  bad for the child because you're going to you're going to die
• 11:39
  like when they're early on and stuff and it's like, you know,
• 11:42
  hopefully all goes well. They'll still be adults.
• 11:44
  And two, it's like they're going to have these amazing older
• 11:46
  siblings. They have so much family.
• 11:48
  Usually when this happens, it's not like there's usually a lot
• 11:52
  of kids involved when you're having kids that late, you know,
• 11:55
  usually. Well, and they're going to
• 11:56
  exist. So you'd rather not exist then?
• 11:59
  Oh, my mother will be on the older side.
• 12:01
  It does. And none of it make it doesn't
• 12:02
  make sense. And yeah.
• 12:04
  And so, but they just, they're, and this kind of goes into like,
• 12:07
  oh, how can you give enough kids attention?
• 12:09
  Because there seems to be this thing of like, you need like,
• 12:11
  oh, you're going to be too old of a mom or whatever.
• 12:14
  It's like, well, they have all these siblings too.
• 12:15
  They have this huge, amazing family That's it's, it's the
• 12:19
  village, it's the village. All this moms cry over like
• 12:22
  that. We want, you know, and so I just
• 12:25
  think it's just a really beautiful thing.
• 12:27
  But Oh my gosh, if you talk to me like 5 years ago, I would
• 12:31
  have been oh. Even five years.
• 12:32
  Ago. How old is my Yeah, my cousin?
• 12:35
  4th. The 4th was that was a
• 12:36
  conversation. Yeah.
• 12:37
  And he's 4, so, you know, probably five years ago.
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  you heard about Cozy Earth right here.
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  That's cozyearth.com code Lila and that was because you were at
• 14:15
  church and you started to see all these big families.
• 14:18
  And so if we want to recap it just a little bit.
• 14:23
  So I was very typical, like all, you know, very typical American
• 14:28
  College experience, right? Like fortunately I was with my
• 14:30
  husband at 19. So I don't have that
• 14:33
  promiscuous. So I don't I don't know the
• 14:34
  politically correct term. I'm not trying to offend anyone,
• 14:37
  but I because when I say party, people tend to take a lot of
• 14:42
  notion with that. But I was with my husband.
• 14:44
  So anyways, I did I did drink. I'd have a lot of girls nights
• 14:47
  go to the clubs and like, you know, just like very and just I
• 14:50
  like we like to dance. I had.
• 14:52
  I was. Like 2 culturally American.
• 14:54
  Yeah, it was 2010 club culture, which like, nothing beats it.
• 14:58
  Like the music was so good. ANYWAYS, none of this.
• 15:01
  I've always liked to dance. So like, I would go out and not
• 15:03
  drink, you know, and I would be the driver.
• 15:05
  Like I just love to like dance and stuff.
• 15:07
  But ANYWAYS, but very. Yeah.
• 15:08
  Like what you would see in like the movies and like the parties,
• 15:11
  the college, the house parties, that whole thing.
• 15:13
  And and so and, and my husband, my husband and I would go to
• 15:17
  Vegas with our friends and, you know, all these things.
• 15:19
  Nothing, nothing too out of the ordinary.
• 15:22
  But we were also the leaders of our youth church choir and so we
• 15:27
  would you know, he'd play guitar, I'd sing and we just
• 15:30
  weren't catechized very well, not by our parents.
• 15:33
  Like despite our parents best efforts.
• 15:35
  It was just, I, I, I don't know if it's called like cultural
• 15:38
  Catholic, but it's just like part of you.
• 15:41
  You get your Communion, you get, you get confirmation like you
• 15:43
  just go through the motions and you go to Mass.
• 15:45
  Well, I've noticed there's like the cultural Catholic, because I
• 15:47
  wasn't raised Catholic. I became Catholic later on.
• 15:50
  But I'm noticing as I talked to a lot of people raised Catholic,
• 15:52
  there's ones that are raised Catholic that they just like,
• 15:54
  got it. They're so locked and they love
• 15:56
  our Lord. They're just passionate about
• 15:57
  their faith. Then there's those who are
• 15:59
  raised Catholic that it's more cultural.
• 16:00
  Yeah, despite even, like you said, best efforts of parents.
• 16:03
  And then there's those who raised Catholic where they had
• 16:05
  some experience where they like rejected what they believe was
• 16:09
  the teachings of the faith and then they would like become born
• 16:12
  again later and they believe now they're really a Christian.
• 16:14
  Yes, and I think they're all very fascinating to understand
• 16:17
  those different experiences. But anyways, yeah I know yours
• 16:20
  was more the cultural. Mine was mine was cultural like
• 16:23
  just that's what you did you, you, you got, you did your
• 16:26
  confirmation. And then my friends who got
• 16:28
  confirmed, they were the same way.
• 16:29
  Like we would talk about the party we just went to in high
• 16:31
  school at our confirmation classes, you know, like, and it
• 16:34
  just didn't register that we were sitting, I guess.
• 16:38
  You know, nothing crazy. I didn't like do drugs or
• 16:40
  anything, but I did enjoy going out in the nightlife and stuff
• 16:43
  with my husband and we always we did want a big family though,
• 16:48
  like and big family being 4 kids and because that's that's the
• 16:51
  American big family today have. 4 kids.
• 16:53
  You are a big family. Yeah, it's.
• 16:54
  Like, whoa, you guys are crazy. And I was like, No 4 is
• 16:57
  manageable because we have one for each hand.
• 17:00
  Like, you know, two kids per parent.
• 17:01
  Like, that's the perfect number. And I wanted a boy.
• 17:04
  I wanted two boys and two girls, right?
• 17:05
  Like had all these all these plans.
• 17:08
  And so that was kind of our life.
• 17:10
  And again, we went through the motions.
• 17:13
  We were still, he was still the guitar player.
• 17:14
  I was still the lead Cantor for this mask that we would do.
• 17:18
  And I think having kids obviously helps you.
• 17:20
  Like we would do more family prayers.
• 17:22
  You know, we start doing that thing.
• 17:24
  But I still wasn't really familiar with the church
• 17:26
  teaching and I contracepted in our marriage until like the
• 17:31
  honestly, I only got off of it because the concept of like turn
• 17:33
  on me. Like I felt like I was just a
• 17:35
  different person. Was it birth control?
• 17:37
  Pills. Yeah, it was just it was just
• 17:38
  the pill and it was like a low dosage one too, but.
• 17:42
  By the way, when you were taking the pill and you're still like
• 17:44
  going to church on Sundays, was there any dissonance there of
• 17:47
  like, this is wrong, This is the church teaches why this is
• 17:50
  wrong? It was more just like, Oh yeah,
• 17:52
  of course everyone does this. This is totally.
• 17:53
  Normal. Well, and a little back story
• 17:55
  for me was the guy before my husband was LDS and they would
• 18:01
  get married very young, like 19, right?
• 18:04
  And you know, I would go visit him at BYU and there and like
• 18:08
  I'd go sometimes go to class with him or go to the events.
• 18:10
  Like someone was always getting engaged and they were just
• 18:12
  really young. And it was like always someone
• 18:13
  getting engaged. And so being immersed in that
• 18:17
  and, you know, loving this guy at the time, I was like, oh, OK,
• 18:21
  but I go what about kids? So you guys are really young and
• 18:23
  like you're still in college and I think, I don't know their
• 18:26
  official church's teaching, but I seen you under depression from
• 18:30
  the the students I talked to that they would contracept.
• 18:34
  Yeah, I think it's not a forbidden and and Mormon.
• 18:36
  Yeah, until they're ready. So it's like they want you can
• 18:38
  get married young, but you don't have to like have kids or well,
• 18:41
  you don't have to have kids right away and anything.
• 18:42
  But it's just, it was like, not like the Catholic teaching words
• 18:47
  like, oh, but I didn't even know that was the Catholic teaching.
• 18:49
  So I thought it was just super normal to like, I mean, you're
• 18:52
  kind of brought up. We're kind of brought up in this
• 18:54
  world where it's like the responsible thing to do, you
• 18:56
  know, and so. And, and I think in a lot of
• 18:59
  like Christian circles today, certainly a lot of evangelical
• 19:03
  spaces, etcetera, using contraception, maybe not the
• 19:06
  birth control pill because I think there's more of an
• 19:08
  awareness of this can act as an abortifacient.
• 19:10
  It can weaken the lining of your uterus.
• 19:12
  So the birth control pill can actually lead to early term
• 19:15
  abortions. Even if you read the insert on
• 19:17
  it, it says it can weaken the lining of your uterus.
• 19:19
  So you can be conceiving a baby with the baby can't implant.
• 19:22
  So a lot of, I think non Catholic Christians who are
• 19:27
  trying to be devout and follow God, they learn about that and
• 19:30
  they say, well, we're not going to use the birth control pill,
• 19:32
  so we'll use other methods. And, you know, and then
• 19:35
  unfortunately there's a lot of Catholics who are not even
• 19:36
  catechized. They were raised Catholic, but
• 19:38
  they never really learned this. And so they're like, oh, it's
• 19:39
  not a big deal. Well what's interesting is I I
• 19:42
  don't even remember NFP being brought up in my confirmation
• 19:45
  classes. Maybe it was and I just wasn't
• 19:47
  paying it. Briefly it was brought up.
• 19:49
  That's the thing, Like, how do you, I think sharing these
• 19:52
  things in a way that makes them relatable and real to people
• 19:55
  instead of just sounding like another line of theology, right
• 19:57
  for in terms of teaching, because it has to be lived.
• 20:00
  If you don't see it lived. That's the thing.
• 20:01
  Because what ended up moving you and Tim was you saw it lived.
• 20:05
  You went to a parish and you saw these massive families and
• 20:07
  you're like, what is going on? And then you had a conversation
• 20:10
  with some of the moms and I'm, I'm kind of jumping on your
• 20:12
  story right now, but. Because I'll just not shut up.
• 20:14
  But it I know I love you. You're here to talk, Chrissy, so
• 20:17
  don't shut up. Please keep talking.
• 20:21
  Get to the good stuff like aging and Botox.
• 20:24
  We're going to get there, guys. So there's lots to talk about.
• 20:26
  But but I just love when you share that story of like talking
• 20:29
  to the moms, yeah, who have the big families and seeing it real
• 20:34
  Incarnate. And they weren't like an idea.
• 20:36
  Weird cold outfits like I thought they would be, you know
• 20:39
  what I mean? They weren't like, yeah.
• 20:40
  It was like, oh, wow, you seem, I mean, lack of a better term.
• 20:43
  I was like, you seem normal. What do you mean you have 12
• 20:46
  kids? Like you seem totally normal.
• 20:49
  And the big one is, but you don't look like you've had 12
• 20:51
  kids and no one's, you know, the saying is like, well, what does
• 20:54
  that look like? Like, do you know someone with
• 20:55
  12 kids? But I think what it is, it's the
• 20:58
  sensationalism of it. And what happened was, you know,
• 21:01
  you had shows on TLC like kind of showing these big families
• 21:06
  and they just represented, I don't even know what they
• 21:08
  represented that their own entity, you know what I mean?
• 21:11
  And so, and you see it now, like, or if you'll look on
• 21:13
  YouTube and it's like usually big families who are happy are,
• 21:17
  are living ordinary lives. They're not.
• 21:19
  They're not. They don't look different in
• 21:22
  terms of and I think that's true.
• 21:23
  Like there have been TV shows that feature big families, but
• 21:26
  they kind of make them out to be very hard line.
• 21:29
  Like they look, they can look to the person that's fundamentalist
• 21:33
  when in the Catholic world, like you have these beautiful big
• 21:35
  families that are practicing NFP and they're welcoming life.
• 21:38
  They're open to life. They may use space or avoid
• 21:41
  pregnancy if there's like a serious reason.
• 21:42
  But typically like the whole posture is we're open to life.
• 21:45
  We don't contracept. And then you see it lived in
• 21:47
  this very normal, natural way. And I think that is really
• 21:52
  surprising to people. But you don't really see that on
• 21:54
  ATV show today, right? You rarely even see that on
• 21:56
  Instagram, which is why your social media is so special.
• 21:59
  Seriously, Chrissy, it's so special.
• 22:01
  I can't tell you enough. Like I what I, I believe and
• 22:03
  what you're, you're doing with your platform, but but you just
• 22:06
  don't see a lot of it. Well, that means a lot that you
• 22:08
  say that because that's something I debate.
• 22:09
  I debate every day doing this honestly, because you do get the
• 22:13
  people being like they say, I, I exploit my children.
• 22:17
  You don't even use show them. I don't show them.
• 22:19
  Well, I show them in Group. Setting Yeah, that and this is
• 22:21
  something in my I really let my husband guide me on this.
• 22:25
  He doesn't have social media and he's very grounded and I try you
• 22:29
  know, I don't share any of their names It's like you won't you
• 22:32
  know, you'll never like the public public.
• 22:34
  I don't know whoever watches won't know their names.
• 22:36
  I don't show their names or any personal details, right?
• 22:39
  So it's like, it's not like, oh, so and so had this today and so
• 22:42
  and so had this. And you know, it's very much
• 22:45
  follows the mom and dad's journey.
• 22:48
  And obviously if you want authenticity, like you're going
• 22:51
  to see the kids like in and out of the shop.
• 22:52
  But I really do do my best to, you know, cameras far away.
• 22:55
  I'm not like closing in on them. You won't see like still
• 22:58
  pictures of. Them, the creators I know that
• 23:00
  share kids, you do it in a very tasteful, restrained way where
• 23:04
  you're protecting them. You're not showing extremely
• 23:07
  vulnerable moments. I think that's I don't.
• 23:09
  The tantrums. I think every now and then
• 23:10
  you'll hear a scream in the back, but I think I get not.
• 23:13
  To say it's always wrong to ever show a tantrum or a very
• 23:17
  intimate moment again, I wouldn't take even that hard of
• 23:19
  a line. But generally speaking, the
• 23:21
  posture should be, I think not, you know, having a whole online
• 23:25
  audience create a pair of social relationship with the
• 23:27
  individual. Child, I agree.
• 23:28
  And that's unfortunately what happens very regularly on social
• 23:32
  media. I think you've taken this, you
• 23:34
  know, more conservative, but not so conservative.
• 23:37
  You don't show them Rd. where you share your family as a
• 23:39
  family unit, but you're not, you know, you having individual
• 23:43
  children basically perform. Right.
• 23:44
  And my whole philosophy is like, if you need your kids to provide
• 23:47
  content, that's. It's a bad Rd.
• 23:50
  Yeah, it's a bad road to go down.
• 23:52
  Yeah, it's and so I mean, if you go through my Instagram, you'll
• 23:55
  see a lot of me just me talking like, you know, me happening
• 23:58
  about whatever, but I so this is something I've sat down with my
• 24:02
  husband about. Actually the the women's, I know
• 24:05
  the ones with like 12 kids, I just, they're so wise.
• 24:07
  They know so much. I love them so much.
• 24:09
  And a lot of them are on social media And I think that's just oh
• 24:13
  man, if you're not on social media, don't start today, guys.
• 24:16
  It's I just, I feel like I if social media went away tomorrow,
• 24:20
  I'd be like awesome. But so a lot of people say,
• 24:23
  well, just get off of it. I'm like but then then who?
• 24:26
  Who? It feels like a calling.
• 24:27
  Yeah, it really does. It really does.
• 24:29
  Because honestly, it would be so much easier not to do it.
• 24:32
  And I do love my community and stuff, don't get me wrong.
• 24:34
  Like I love and especially when I get to meet the moms.
• 24:37
  Oh my gosh, I love it so much, I really do.
• 24:40
  But there is just such a dark underbelly to it.
• 24:42
  I don't even know how you do it. Like you are so much bigger than
• 24:45
  me. Obviously you're a public
• 24:47
  figure. I just have this random channel
• 24:49
  and I usually doesn't get to me. I don't know if it's the
• 24:53
  pregnancy, but lately it's just like, I feel like I just
• 24:55
  disappoint people on every single side of the spectrum and
• 24:59
  it's just like, what am I doing? Why am I even doing?
• 25:03
  Well, let me guess. For every negative comment
• 25:06
  you're getting, this is this is the way it works.
• 25:07
  This is because we're human. This is the way.
• 25:09
  This is why social media is so innately anti human in many
• 25:13
  ways. It's not every way but many
• 25:14
  ways. You get 1 bad comment.
• 25:17
  You had 10 good comments you don't really like.
• 25:20
  Let those like land the bad comment Lance.
• 25:24
  You're like scouring for it and then you're like, Oh my gosh.
• 25:27
  And then you just like you can spot it.
• 25:29
  You can lead to the spiral, right?
• 25:31
  Especially if there's like, because there's always a seed of
• 25:33
  truth and even the greatest lies, the greatest lies are so
• 25:36
  powerful because there's a seed of truth.
• 25:38
  Satan, I think when he not to say the comments are Satan, but
• 25:41
  like when Satan tries to discourage someone or try to let
• 25:46
  make them not trust in God's goodness or make them like just
• 25:48
  live in a, in a spiral of shame instead of like being forgiven
• 25:52
  by God for their sin. He will use a seed of truth and
• 25:56
  then he'll like exaggerate something and make this like you
• 25:59
  did this. Well, yeah, maybe you did do
• 26:00
  that. Or maybe like, like, are you and
• 26:02
  I, do you and I have vanity? Of course.
• 26:04
  We are women. We are human women.
• 26:06
  We're daughters of Eve now we're also daughters of Mary.
• 26:08
  So like we have graces that operate in our life, thanks be
• 26:11
  to God, right? But we're daughters of Eve.
• 26:13
  So are we ever vain? Yes.
• 26:16
  Do we ever like focus on the wrong thing?
• 26:17
  Yes. Do we ever get, I mean, I
• 26:18
  shouldn't speak for yourself. I speak for me.
• 26:20
  Do I ever get distracted? Whatever.
• 26:22
  Like close. We're the same.
• 26:23
  I know we're like, this was not planned, guys.
• 26:25
  This is like. But yeah.
• 26:26
  Do I ever spiral about something that I shouldn't?
• 26:28
  Yes. Do I ever get an emotional
• 26:31
  response to something that's more than it should be?
• 26:33
  Yes. Do I ever get frustrated with
• 26:35
  someone that I shouldn't be? Yes.
• 26:36
  Like, so you know, it's so, but then you have the comment saying
• 26:40
  you're just doing this because of or, you know, you were
• 26:43
  telling me earlier about what these comments look like for you
• 26:45
  lately. Yeah.
• 26:46
  And well, and it's interesting because it's like, you want an
• 26:47
  authentic experience, especially in this world of AI where now
• 26:49
  you have AI influencers, right? So it's like, I want an
• 26:52
  authentic experience. And then it's like, oh, but as a
• 26:55
  Catholic, you shouldn't be doing that.
• 26:57
  I'm like. What are they criticizing?
• 26:58
  Can you share? There's there's a few things,
• 27:00
  but really quickly just to wrap that point up, it's like I, I'm
• 27:03
  an, I'm a person and I'm a Sinner.
• 27:05
  And so you're going to see all of it, and I hope you see
• 27:08
  yourself in some of this. I hope this is relatable because
• 27:11
  yeah, if I was just this perfect, did everything by the
• 27:13
  book like I thought I want to make you feel good watching this
• 27:16
  content. You know, it'd make you feel a
• 27:18
  bit inferior if I was just like this perfect, picture perfect.
• 27:20
  I only showed the perfect moment.
• 27:22
  So. But yeah, I get some of the
• 27:23
  comments I get. But sorry, to be fair to you,
• 27:26
  it's not like you are filming what is objectively sinful and
• 27:30
  being like, ha ha, I'm creating content out of it.
• 27:31
  You don't do that at all. So the things that people have
• 27:34
  accused you of recently, which we can talk about.
• 27:36
  And again, these people were talking about the one comment
• 27:38
  among 10, right? Yeah.
• 27:40
  But I think they're all Gray areas.
• 27:43
  Totally. So one recently was I, we're
• 27:47
  getting older, right? And so this is a, this is the
• 27:50
  first time in our life, in my life where I feel like I am
• 27:54
  seeing the physical signs of aging, right?
• 27:57
  Like it was like up until like, I want to say like, I don't
• 27:59
  know, 33 or 34, it was like kind of the same.
• 28:02
  And also because I've just been pregnant or breastfeeding or
• 28:05
  postpartum, I was like, well, I don't really know what I look
• 28:07
  like. And then this is one of our
• 28:08
  bigger age gaps, like a whop in 22 months.
• 28:13
  So there was a period where I was like, OK, so this is what I
• 28:15
  look like. And, and, and it was like, kind
• 28:20
  of, I don't know, every woman's going to go through this.
• 28:23
  Every woman's going to go through this where it's like,
• 28:25
  oh, I'm no longer 23, you know, and it's, and it doesn't happen
• 28:28
  when you turn 30. It doesn't happen when you turn
• 28:31
  32. I just think there's this point
• 28:33
  where you're like, you look in the mirror one day and you're
• 28:34
  like, oh, that's different. And I think it's, I don't know.
• 28:38
  I think that's hard to come. It's hard sometimes.
• 28:41
  And we try not to be vain, but I, I, it's such a broad term,
• 28:46
  you know, and it, what does that cover?
• 28:47
  What does that mean? Like we're supposed to steward
• 28:49
  our bodies. We're supposed to, you know,
• 28:52
  take care of ourselves. So where's the line?
• 28:54
  And so what's happening is instead of us using like
• 28:57
  personal discernment and prayer about this, we're just getting
• 29:01
  on each other online and we're projecting online and causes a
• 29:05
  lot of noise and a lot of doubt and it, and it clouds your
• 29:09
  ability, I think, to hear how to discern about it.
• 29:11
  Right. And so, so I, I got, I got a
• 29:15
  micro needling facial when I wasn't pregnant.
• 29:17
  And micro needling is they draw some your own blood and they put
• 29:23
  it in this, I don't know, they put it in some machine and it
• 29:26
  takes like the rich plasma cells from it and then they put it on
• 29:30
  your face. So it's not blood.
• 29:31
  It's not like they're smearing blood on your face.
• 29:33
  It's the plasma. And then they take micro needles
• 29:39
  and it just supposed to like rejuvenate, like create more
• 29:41
  collagen. So it's like it's a controlled
• 29:45
  trauma to the skin. So you produce more collagen to
• 29:48
  repair it, and so do. You feel like it worked like
• 29:50
  afterwards I. Thought my skin looked good like
• 29:53
  yeah and it was and you know, I'm in this space where I like
• 29:55
  talk to a lot of women and to. Just trying it.
• 29:57
  And I was like, OK, like research.
• 29:59
  Would you recommend it now that you've tried it?
• 30:01
  Yeah, I, I liked it. I thought it's I feel like
• 30:04
  that's a more natural approach too, like if it's using your
• 30:07
  own, you know, like if you're producing just more collagen or
• 30:09
  something. But and then I got pregnant, so
• 30:12
  I had to, I had to stop doing it.
• 30:15
  So, but I was like, Oh, let me show you what it's like.
• 30:16
  If you've been curious about this treatment and people are
• 30:19
  like, this is so far beyond a normal facial.
• 30:21
  Like you're, you know, listen, people are like, that's satanic
• 30:26
  to use the blood. And I'm like, OK, whoa, I'm not
• 30:28
  using someone else's like it's mine.
• 30:30
  And it's also not like, again, it's not like smearing on the
• 30:34
  he's like, and so I was red because you know, they're like
• 30:37
  pricking your they're pricking you.
• 30:39
  But I wasn't it wasn't anyways. So that one was like, I had a
• 30:43
  lot of like, not a lot of women. See.
• 30:46
  It feels like a lot. Yeah, how many?
• 30:47
  Come on, how many total comments?
• 30:49
  Were negative. They were in all the comments.
• 30:51
  Yes, they made their. They made their voice heard.
• 30:54
  Yes, and it wasn't like just they left a comment, it was like
• 30:56
  they reply to other people. 'S comments.
• 30:58
  And here's the thing, they might be right for themselves.
• 31:00
  It might be simple for them to do it because of this, like the
• 31:03
  motivations in their heart. And it might be a problem for
• 31:06
  other people. It could even become a problem,
• 31:08
  you know, for you or for someone if depending on like all of the
• 31:11
  prudence factors. But it's also not an objectively
• 31:14
  wrong thing. Like that is a fact.
• 31:15
  So to say that it's objectively wrong.
• 31:17
  And it's also not objectively wrong to share that either.
• 31:19
  Like you made the decision. This is part of your platform to
• 31:22
  talk about aging and beauty and like how you manage that.
• 31:25
  And I, I think, I think it's actually really good and healthy
• 31:29
  with the whole world of cosmetics, plastic surgery,
• 31:34
  treatments for aging and just for general health for there to
• 31:38
  be women talking about what they're doing and what they're
• 31:40
  not doing and why. I do feel like, yeah, we're in a
• 31:43
  world where it's very plastic surgery, plastic surgeon
• 31:48
  emphasis. And I, I really don't have any
• 31:51
  judgment or comment on what other women do.
• 31:53
  True, truly, like I don't, but there is a my I mean it's really
• 32:00
  getting pushed on young young girls, which I do think is an
• 32:03
  issue. But anyways, in this world of
• 32:06
  like, oh, just nip and tuck, nip and tuck.
• 32:08
  It's like, OK, well can. I thought micro needing it was
• 32:11
  like a nice way to show other routes, right?
• 32:14
  Like there's just so many things in this space.
• 32:16
  Doing Michael needing kneeling instead of something like
• 32:19
  fillers. Yeah, maybe.
• 32:20
  Yeah. And not that I'm, like,
• 32:21
  inherently against filler, you know, I just, I've never had it.
• 32:24
  I mean, I'm always pregnant and breastfeeding, so I haven't done
• 32:26
  any of that stuff quite yet. Isn't it funny, however?
• 32:28
  Well. Children help keep us from our
• 32:30
  worst potential excesses. My husband was they make.
• 32:33
  You focus on what matters, which is other human beings, I.
• 32:35
  Was OK, so interesting point to that was so my whole life I've
• 32:41
  been the same weight, just just thin, thin and tall, right.
• 32:45
  And you know, I, I was really good about working out too.
• 32:49
  As I got older, like in my when I say older, like my 20s and
• 32:51
  stuff, like I just loved it. I loved working out.
• 32:54
  I loved the classes I would go to and I would go like five days
• 32:58
  a week. Not an obsessive way.
• 33:00
  I just, it was just, I went to an all women's gym.
• 33:02
  Like it was just like, it was just nice And I got pregnant and
• 33:05
  I kept up with that routine snap back.
• 33:09
  I hate that term so much. But like went right back to it.
• 33:11
  Also, I was in my 20s. How my second kid went right
• 33:14
  back to it. How my third kid went right back
• 33:16
  to it. How long would it take for going
• 33:18
  from pre pregnancy weight to? A few months because I also
• 33:21
  think it's just genetics too. I really just think it was
• 33:24
  genetics. Like my mom was really, my mom's
• 33:26
  been the same weight her whole life, like since her adult life.
• 33:29
  Like my grandmother was the same way.
• 33:31
  So there's just a lot of genetics involved by baby #4 I
• 33:34
  think I got a little cocky and I was like, I can afford to
• 33:38
  indulge in this. What is that?
• 33:40
  Yeah, I was gonna say, what did that look like?
• 33:41
  Ice cream at night. Oh, no, You know what?
• 33:43
  It was so good. It was a tortilla with cream
• 33:47
  cheese, and I got the tortillas that you had to like.
• 33:50
  You had to make like they made, but you had to keep them up on
• 33:52
  this one, Yes. Those, by the way, quick shout
• 33:55
  out to these tortillas because I know what you're talking about.
• 33:58
  They're at Costco. Basically all the tortillas use
• 34:01
  the Yucca app or not Sponsored by the way guys.
• 34:03
  And it's free. So well, it's also you want
• 34:06
  healthy tortillas, but a lot of the tortillas are completely
• 34:09
  toxic, like just garbage. But these are these ones,
• 34:11
  they're a little more expensive, but if you can do them, they're
• 34:14
  at they're frozen like uncooked basically or half baked or
• 34:17
  something tortillas from the frozen section at Costco.
• 34:20
  They're organic. Anyways, they're like 80 out of
• 34:23
  100, which is very high for a tortilla on the Yucca app.
• 34:25
  They're so so I would heat those up to 2 and I think 1's like 1's
• 34:31
  like 120 calories. So I did two of those and then I
• 34:34
  would do like a big thing of cream cheese and then chocolate
• 34:37
  chips. And then I would microwave and I
• 34:40
  would have like. The evening snack?
• 34:42
  Yes, ice cream on top. No ice cream.
• 34:44
  Sometimes I would it'd be either or, but anyways, I got a little
• 34:47
  indulgent which whatever, whatever.
• 34:50
  Like we have seasons in life. We're not going to be on our A
• 34:52
  game like. And this was the 4th baby. 4th
• 34:55
  baby at 3, under three, I can make all the, all the excuses in
• 34:58
  the world. But anyways, I shouldn't even
• 34:59
  say excuses. I'm, I was whatever.
• 35:02
  And so I indulge a little bit more.
• 35:03
  But also at that same time my social media started taking off.
• 35:06
  So when I had baby #4 I'm like homeschooling, but the kids are
• 35:09
  really, really young at this point that it's not like.
• 35:12
  How old was the oldest three of three?
• 35:14
  Three or 40 when the 4th was born, he must have been.
• 35:19
  Four. Yeah, 'cause you had four.
• 35:20
  Yeah, 4. 445 yeah. And so it's wasn't like this
• 35:24
  strict, but you know, I would still do school with them and
• 35:29
  but my social media really started taking off.
• 35:30
  But my husband was still working a lot.
• 35:33
  So social media really had to be more of like whenever I could.
• 35:36
  And so whenever I had time, I wasn't taking care of myself.
• 35:40
  I wouldn't go to the gym the way I would.
• 35:42
  I wouldn't do my workout classes.
• 35:43
  I would be on social media. And this was before this is in
• 35:46
  the beginning of it. So I didn't really know how to
• 35:48
  navigate it. So I would like doom scroll a
• 35:50
  lot like thinking I was researching.
• 35:52
  So it was just like, it was kind of like a not a good time in my.
• 35:55
  Life for research. Yeah, cuz you know, you're a new
• 35:57
  content creator and you're like. And I told my husband I'm
• 36:01
  scrolling and like I'm researching.
• 36:03
  It's like. I know, I know, I'm not.
• 36:05
  I'm more creative when I don't scroll and.
• 36:06
  Put the phone away. I don't need to be on my phone
• 36:09
  right now. And so, but it was that's when I
• 36:11
  kind of started taking off because it was during my 4th
• 36:13
  pregnancy. I just started and this I didn't
• 36:16
  show my kids at all at this point too.
• 36:18
  I would just I would set up my ring light and my camera and I
• 36:20
  would just like here's things I'm preparing from this 4th
• 36:23
  pregnancy and I think people have 4 kids.
• 36:24
  That's crazy. Well, because it's. 4 under 4
• 36:28
  too. Like that's also I think people
• 36:30
  were responding too because you're just and you'd seen like
• 36:33
  this normal, lovely mom, but then you're having this journey
• 36:36
  of being open to life and that's so like no one's really very few
• 36:40
  people are sharing that journey on that right.
• 36:42
  And I think this. Was before that though, so I
• 36:44
  thought we were like going to be.
• 36:45
  Done. This was before you had even.
• 36:46
  Started OK yes that was before so my social media is taking
• 36:49
  off. I'm not really taking care of
• 36:50
  myself at this point because my time just looked more limited so
• 36:53
  if I had time I wasn't going to the gym.
• 36:55
  So anyways, I ended up gaining like 60 lbs in that pregnancy.
• 36:58
  What do you usually gain? I think I was gaining like 30
• 37:02
  lbs before, so that one I gained like 60, which is insane.
• 37:07
  No, it was 50. It was 50I gained 50.
• 37:09
  That's what it was. And then I didn't obtain my
• 37:14
  healthy habits, and so the weight kind of stayed on,
• 37:17
  obviously. And I'm not one of those people
• 37:20
  who loses weight when they breastfeed.
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  subscription order that's goodranchers.com and use the
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  code Lila. I've heard I've heard mother a
• 39:10
  lot of like one of my best friends she's like she has to
• 39:12
  stop breastfeeding or lose weight.
• 39:14
  Yeah, absolutely. After she weans, then she can.
• 39:16
  So you have women who. Will want to not breastfeed for
• 39:20
  some of those reasons and like why women chooses to breastfeed
• 39:22
  or not breastfeed that that is none of my business or anything
• 39:24
  but if that's the sole purpose I really would encourage be like
• 39:28
  hey you have your whole life to be thin and fit like this is a
• 39:33
  very I promise you in the grand scheme of life this is such a
• 39:35
  short window where you're giving your body you know think of
• 39:40
  Jesus like sacrificing your body and.
• 39:43
  It means so much of the baby. Yeah, it.
• 39:45
  Does for baby if you can do it. If you can do it, yeah.
• 39:47
  It's so good for baby. Yeah, if you can do mentally,
• 39:49
  physically. You need to be healthy and you
• 39:51
  know, yes and. Baby, I have no judgments like
• 39:53
  on how, but I just I would my only thing is if it's just for
• 39:57
  like weight wise, if that's the only reason I would just I would
• 40:00
  discourage that because it is a short, short period you.
• 40:05
  You're it's it's OK to like not be on your A game 20. 47 But
• 40:10
  that's like the toxicity of our culture today.
• 40:12
  And it's always been an issue. But like, that's vanity when
• 40:15
  it's, it's actively be pernicious, right?
• 40:18
  In the society where if you're not hitting a certain standard
• 40:21
  postpartum or whatever it is that you would potentially cut
• 40:25
  breastfeeding short for the sake of looking a certain way, right?
• 40:29
  And I, I was one of those moms. I well, but I'm just saying
• 40:32
  that's, that's the society we live in, right?
• 40:34
  So just to be aware of that and then counteract those sort of
• 40:37
  temptation exactly actively. Yeah, before, you know, like I
• 40:40
  said before, I like I didn't become more devout till, you
• 40:42
  know, I was pretty deep into like my kids.
• 40:44
  So my first 2 was like we had a trip coming up and he was a
• 40:48
  year. But I was like, oh, I'm going to
• 40:50
  wean him so I can go on my trip and like be like, I don't know.
• 40:53
  I just look back. I'm like, oh, like I made a
• 40:56
  decision to wean not because like I was ready or he was
• 40:59
  ready, but because we had like, and a wine tasting trip coming
• 41:03
  up. But you were going to go without
• 41:05
  him or why can't you without the Oh, I see.
• 41:07
  So you. This is what?
• 41:08
  We we only had and you. Didn't want to pump.
• 41:10
  Yeah, I didn't want to pump. I wanted him to be able to sleep
• 41:13
  better through the night and like not wake up.
• 41:14
  So it was more of like, it wasn't all just like, I just
• 41:17
  want to be just getting on my trip.
• 41:18
  It was like, oh, like whoever's watching him, I want to be able
• 41:20
  to sleep and not nurse in the middle of the night.
• 41:21
  And so I waited till he was one, but I was, I just look back and
• 41:25
  I'm like, oh, like my reasoning, I don't know.
• 41:28
  I don't know that this is very personal.
• 41:30
  Like maybe other people have that same reasoning and I don't
• 41:32
  know their journey. So I have no judgments towards
• 41:34
  that. But for me it was like, that's
• 41:35
  not how I really operate now. So when I look back on that, I
• 41:38
  was like, like, I didn't really do it for the most wholesome.
• 41:43
  I don't know. I don't know what reason.
• 41:44
  So I, I, when I look back, I personally feel like my decision
• 41:48
  in that was a little bit more selfish.
• 41:51
  It's very beautiful view to share and I'm sure people
• 41:55
  listening. I'm, I'm thinking about our
• 41:56
  situation right now because my daughter is going to be two and
• 41:59
  two months, our daughter and she's still breastfeeding.
• 42:03
  And yeah, there have been times where it's like it's
• 42:05
  inconvenient. She's keeping me.
• 42:07
  I mean literally she's like nursing like a baby.
• 42:09
  Sometimes mine. That's mine too, so.
• 42:11
  So I think you know, another prudent voice could say, Lily,
• 42:14
  you need good sleep, Your husband needs good sleep, baby
• 42:16
  needs good sleep like you should.
• 42:17
  Weaner. She's almost 2, but there's
• 42:20
  still ways to achieve good sleep with her still breastfeeding.
• 42:23
  She's still really enjoying breastfeeding.
• 42:25
  I enjoy breastfeeding. Yeah, if it's not.
• 42:27
  I'm sorry. I love, I love feeding her.
• 42:30
  She it's she's my baby. Yeah.
• 42:31
  If it's not. Taking a toll on you too,
• 42:33
  because. I mean, it does take a little
• 42:34
  bit of a toll, especially at night 'cause I don't sleep as
• 42:37
  well as I could. But I've just made the decision
• 42:39
  the way that I want to parent within reason.
• 42:41
  Because again, this is not prescriptive to everybody
• 42:43
  listening to do it this way, but more that my preference will
• 42:47
  always slide towards what is the more natural bonding activity
• 42:52
  for me and our kids, especially because I, I do work.
• 42:55
  I'm not like home all hours everyday, you know,
• 42:58
  homeschooling. They're kind of too little to
• 43:00
  homeschool anyways. But you know, I'm not, I'm not,
• 43:02
  that's not the way our lifestyle is set up like I do here.
• 43:05
  I am filming this podcast, My kids aren't with me and I'm
• 43:08
  working, you know, I do a lot of different work activities.
• 43:10
  Some of them are very flexible, which is great.
• 43:12
  But the point is, I there are more on the side of I want to
• 43:15
  allow breastfeeding, close sleeping, like all of these
• 43:18
  things, even though they're like inconvenient or they have
• 43:21
  demands, you know, other demands.
• 43:23
  But they're so beautiful for bonding for their childhood and
• 43:27
  they aren't like you just said, they're only little one time.
• 43:29
  So. And I think, yeah.
• 43:31
  And I think, yeah, that's, and it's what you want ultimately,
• 43:35
  right? Like maybe in that moment,
• 43:36
  you're like, this is really hard.
• 43:37
  But like, you have you have a, you've seen a bigger perspective
• 43:40
  with it. I know for me, when I got
• 43:42
  pregnant, I was still breastfeeding my last baby and
• 43:45
  it was becoming very, very challenging.
• 43:47
  And I was done. I was like, you are painful.
• 43:50
  Yeah, it was painful. I was getting angry a lot.
• 43:53
  Like she'd be on it and then she'd RIP off or whatever.
• 43:57
  And I would, I would scream. I'd throw an F bomb down.
• 44:02
  She was fighting. It was painful.
• 44:03
  Because she's, you know, she's still, they're still mobile at
• 44:05
  that point. How?
• 44:06
  Old was she too like? No, no, she's probably like when
• 44:09
  did I stop breastfeeding? I just stopped breastfeeding a
• 44:11
  few months ago. A.
• 44:14
  Year and a half. Basically, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 44:15
  yeah. She was definitely about a year
• 44:17
  and a half. And so I was, but I was not
• 44:19
  enjoying it at all. And I don't even know if she's
• 44:21
  enjoying it with the way I would just react to her.
• 44:23
  And so, yeah, but if it, and I'm being pregnant too, it was just
• 44:28
  like, I'm doing enough, my body's doing enough, you know?
• 44:31
  And so but I, but I like what you're saying though, too.
• 44:34
  It's like every mother has their own, yes, their own journey with
• 44:37
  it, right? And so this is your journey.
• 44:39
  And like ultimately, if you're like, I still enjoy nursing,
• 44:42
  then I'm like, heck yeah, go for it.
• 44:44
  You know what I mean? Because it is, yeah.
• 44:47
  But if, but if, I think if you're in a position where it's
• 44:49
  just. Well, yeah, and if you get
• 44:51
  pregnant, I mean, my so I, our first, I weaned, he weaned
• 44:56
  himself. He was just not interested.
• 44:57
  Like most of my kids did too. But my second one, he loved
• 45:01
  nursing. And then I got pregnant with our
• 45:03
  third and he was still nursing. And it was painful, yeah.
• 45:07
  And he was very demanding, but he loved it so much.
• 45:10
  And so. But I, you know, friends and
• 45:12
  people in my life were like, just get where he's like a
• 45:15
  teenager ran him off. I mean, he's on a teenager.
• 45:16
  He was like almost 2, hardly 2. And they're like, he's, you
• 45:20
  know, he's done, he can be done. And so I was like, OK, got to do
• 45:23
  cold Turkey, at least for this feed.
• 45:25
  And so we just kind of did the hardcore.
• 45:26
  We're going to wean him and he got really upset.
• 45:29
  This was for like a week's time that we tried to do this, like,
• 45:31
  forceful weaning process. And, you know, I actually look
• 45:35
  back on that and I regret how I did that.
• 45:37
  I wish I had, like, extended it out.
• 45:39
  And yeah, I would have been uncomfortable and painful.
• 45:40
  Probably would have been inconvenient, yes.
• 45:42
  But I feel like for his sake, I would have done it differently.
• 45:46
  Now, again, hindsight's 2020. This is not judging moms who
• 45:49
  would do it more forcefully. Like every situation is so
• 45:52
  personal. But I think in that situation, I
• 45:55
  was more thinking about like, oh, I should do it this way
• 45:57
  because people are telling me that I trust do it this way.
• 46:00
  My instinct was telling me don't do it, but I overrided my
• 46:04
  instinct by listening to other voices, good voices, by the way,
• 46:07
  people that are very wise that give me great advice so not to
• 46:09
  throw them under the bus like they're wonderful.
• 46:12
  But I didn't listen to my own instinct as a mother because I'm
• 46:15
  his only mother. He's I'm it.
• 46:18
  I'm the mother. And I kind of had the sense I
• 46:20
  was. It was too hardcore for him and
• 46:22
  afterwards I was like, yeah, it was too hard for him the way we
• 46:24
  did that weaning process. And that's what it really all
• 46:26
  comes down to. And that's my issue with social
• 46:28
  media and all these things. It's just you have so many
• 46:30
  voices. A big thing I say on my channels
• 46:32
  is block out the noise because it's really affecting how we're
• 46:36
  mothering our kids. And there's always been noise,
• 46:38
  right? You got your village, you got
• 46:39
  your in laws, you got your mom, you got your whatever.
• 46:41
  And but I think it's just so much more now because even if
• 46:44
  it's not direct comments to you, it's the content you're engaging
• 46:47
  in with too, where it's saying your kids should be doing this
• 46:50
  or you should be doing this or you should be doing this as a
• 46:52
  mom. And so it really because each,
• 46:55
  like we said, each situation is so different, you know, as what
• 46:59
  your child needs compared to what this child needs over here.
• 47:01
  They're you're not their mom. So yeah, I think it's really
• 47:04
  important to just that intuition and take the input.
• 47:08
  But filter it and also at the end of the day, like listen to
• 47:11
  your God-given instinct as a mother, because it is one of the
• 47:14
  most powerful and beautiful forces in the world.
• 47:17
  And that's where I was with like this trip, it was like, well,
• 47:20
  it's good for our marriage if we go off and do this.
• 47:23
  And it was just I let so many of these voices that maybe it is
• 47:28
  good advice, but it didn't pertain to me in that point in
• 47:30
  my life, right. And I took it though, like,
• 47:33
  well, OK, we need to go on this trip because that's what we're
• 47:35
  supposed to do. Like we still need a the kids
• 47:37
  one years old. Like we need to still make sure
• 47:39
  that this is how we're fostering our marriage.
• 47:41
  And I'm all for still fostering your marriage, but I I am
• 47:43
  learning that that can come in many different ways.
• 47:46
  Some people really do need to take a vacation.
• 47:48
  They have crazy work schedules or husbands away And like it's
• 47:51
  the only way they get quality time together.
• 47:53
  Absolutely. But my husband and I are
• 47:54
  together all the time and we're and realizing like we don't need
• 47:57
  to like go on a trip to do that. We don't need like specific date
• 48:02
  nights every week. And again, there's nothing wrong
• 48:04
  with those things. I think they're really great if
• 48:06
  you can make them work. But it's not a prescription for
• 48:08
  every marriage. And so in this instance, I was
• 48:11
  like, well, I got to weenum. I got to do this because I was
• 48:14
  just taking like we got to go. On our honeymoon trip.
• 48:17
  It's like, I just got to taking this this marital advice, like
• 48:20
  trying to do the right thing and you know, you don't want to lose
• 48:23
  yourself to motherhood or whatever, you know, And it's
• 48:25
  just, I look back, I'm like, oh, some of these decisions were
• 48:27
  like kind of rooted in just like more of a selfish attitude for
• 48:29
  me, for me. I have a quick question about
• 48:33
  that was Tim, because I found in my situation, I mean in my
• 48:36
  marriage, my husband is very much a good, you know,
• 48:40
  counterbalance. He's this very prudent voice.
• 48:42
  He's very steady. And so like with the situation
• 48:44
  with our middle son, he's like, it's going to be fine.
• 48:46
  He's OK. Like, you know, basically like
• 48:49
  walking me off ledges and helping just balance things out.
• 48:52
  But was Tim in that situation with that trip?
• 48:54
  Was he saying, yeah, we should totally do this trip, like, you
• 48:56
  know, weed him? Or was he more like, it's up to
• 48:57
  you, Chrissy, like. Always up to me.
• 48:59
  Yeah, he's very. And this was also before his
• 49:01
  conviction too. Like we again, like we're always
• 49:03
  like Catholic and like went to church and stuff, but like
• 49:05
  before our deep deeper conviction.
• 49:07
  So he's always been, I mean, I'm a strong force.
• 49:12
  And so he knows that. And so he's he knows just how
• 49:16
  to, I don't know. I don't say like manage me, but
• 49:18
  he knows like when to manage. Yeah, I don't know.
• 49:20
  I think when it comes to like fragments of the wife, it's a
• 49:22
  breastfeeding. It's like that's I'm just here
• 49:25
  to support you, babe, you know. And so, but you know, as we've
• 49:28
  had more kids and he's obviously more experienced as a father,
• 49:33
  there was one night where our daughter, we didn't know what
• 49:36
  was wrong with her. She was just crying and crying.
• 49:39
  I was like, what's wrong with her?
• 49:40
  Like I'm so done. I'm pregnant, I can't
• 49:41
  breastfeed, I can't do this, like I'm not sleeping.
• 49:44
  And he just like calmly was like, you're her comfort, like
• 49:48
  she needs you. I was like, OK.
• 49:50
  And it just really took me outside of my own because that's
• 49:53
  what motherhood is. It's tons of self sacrificing.
• 49:55
  And I'm not saying to sacrifice to the point where you like
• 49:57
  wither away, but it was like, OK, I was having a moment of
• 50:01
  weakness and it was valid. I was valid in feeling these
• 50:05
  things, but he was that voice of like, you can do this, you know,
• 50:11
  and you're her comfort. And that's something I always
• 50:12
  say too. It's like there's going to come
• 50:14
  a time in your life where your hug, your kiss, your words
• 50:19
  aren't going to do anything for your kid.
• 50:21
  It's not going to bring them comfort.
• 50:22
  It's not going to do anything. They're going to go through the
• 50:24
  hard thing. There's nothing you can do about
• 50:26
  it. But when they're this young, you
• 50:29
  can throw everything about it. So just soak it in while you
• 50:33
  can, you know, because it's like, so I'm like, you know
• 50:36
  what? And that's what gets me through
• 50:37
  those hard nights. You know, we we Co sleep, we
• 50:41
  all, all the things and and I'm not even necessarily against
• 50:45
  like sleep training and stuff. I think every family has, I
• 50:48
  think, I think it's so I really don't like when people blanket
• 50:51
  things like this is inherently bad and this is bad.
• 50:52
  It's like we haven't you need to walk a mile in everyone's shoes,
• 50:56
  you know, to even know to even have an idea.
• 50:59
  So, but for us like Co sleeping, just like the way to go, It's
• 51:02
  like the only way we got sleep and you know, and there's nights
• 51:05
  where it's really hard, right? And they're crying and they need
• 51:09
  you. And it's like, I just want, I
• 51:10
  don't, I haven't had an uninterrupted sleep in a decade,
• 51:13
  you know? And but I'm like, there you have
• 51:18
  your whole life to know your kids as adults.
• 51:20
  Like, you only get this little window of knowing them as kids.
• 51:24
  So that keeps me going at night a lot.
• 51:27
  I have to remind myself that, you know, there's definitely
• 51:29
  times where I scream in my pillow.
• 51:30
  Don't get me wrong. It's not all, like, literally
• 51:32
  butter blow. Yeah, literally.
• 51:35
  Because you feel so tired. Oh yeah, you're just so
• 51:37
  exhausted. But I have gotten better with
• 51:39
  the sleep as you have more. I think I have a lot more
• 51:42
  perspective too. When I was in that stage of like
• 51:45
  my first, the two under 2, the three under 3, you know, like I
• 51:49
  didn't have any older kids to like understand the the light at
• 51:53
  the end. So you just think this is it.
• 51:55
  This is my new normal. I'm never going to sleep again.
• 51:57
  I can never do this again. And This is why like, you know,
• 52:02
  I have my own family journey and I really do my best to be like,
• 52:06
  I'm not going to tell anyone else how to plan their family.
• 52:08
  I'm just going to share my story and if it inspires you, great.
• 52:12
  But I would, my big advice to so many parents is, I know it's
• 52:17
  hard, especially when you're sleep deprived and you're in
• 52:19
  that toddler stage and you don't have older kids yet to see like,
• 52:22
  OK, this really is small in the grand scheme of life.
• 52:27
  Make permanent decisions about your family planning during that
• 52:30
  stage. I just think it's, I, I, I would
• 52:35
  advise against it. I'm not going to tell people
• 52:36
  what to do by any means, but it's hard because I, I
• 52:40
  understand how hard it is. I've been there, you know, I've
• 52:42
  been there and it's like, and I look back and I thank God, like
• 52:45
  praise Jesus, like in the midst of that, my husband wasn't like.
• 52:50
  I'm going to go. I'm getting snipped.
• 52:51
  I'm getting snipped. Like I can't do this which a lot
• 52:53
  of. People do after 4.
• 52:54
  Yeah, and it's normal today. Or even, you know, Yeah, three
• 52:58
  kicked my butt. I don't even know.
• 52:59
  Like I think. There were 33 and under, right?
• 53:01
  That's. I think about yeah, 3, three.
• 53:03
  I think about just was three. Yeah.
• 53:04
  And it just, it just kicked my butt and I was like, there's
• 53:07
  just no way. Keep doing this.
• 53:09
  And Tim was really not as available.
• 53:11
  He was. Working.
• 53:12
  Yeah. Some people, you know, they'll
• 53:14
  get my comments like, well, her husband's always home.
• 53:17
  And it's like, yeah, now he is. But that was not that was not
• 53:20
  the case when I first started having kids.
• 53:23
  Yeah, we're figuring this out right now in our house because
• 53:27
  we only have the three. Right, Not only there's a lot.
• 53:33
  But at least two of them are up most nights at least once.
• 53:37
  Yeah. And there's usually like 1 bed
• 53:38
  wedding episode of some kind or just a diaper change.
• 53:41
  So. And then Gigi does want a nurse.
• 53:43
  Like a lot in the night. How are you functioning?
• 53:46
  You do so much. But this is what I was thinking.
• 53:48
  You take drugs? No, I don't.
• 53:49
  Take drugs, I drink coffee. But but but I think, but I, but
• 53:53
  I also don't like say I'm going to be up at 5:00 AM and say an
• 53:56
  hour of prayer. Like, yeah, I didn't, you know,
• 53:58
  sometimes like I should, I should actually get up earlier
• 54:01
  to pray. But sometimes I'm like my my
• 54:03
  prayer today in part is going to be sleep.
• 54:05
  Now, that doesn't mean I don't also try to make time to like
• 54:07
  listen to the readings. If I don't go to Mass, try to
• 54:09
  like steal 10 minutes of, you know, quiet time or before bed
• 54:12
  10 minutes of quiet time. So you want to put prayer first
• 54:14
  because God is everything. God is everything.
• 54:17
  He is the source of all inspiration.
• 54:19
  He's our most intimate friend. He's like Jesus is is my life
• 54:22
  without Jesus. Nothing.
• 54:23
  None of this even makes sense. None of it's possible.
• 54:26
  But at the same time, you know, I don't have a newborn.
• 54:29
  She's not a newborn, but she's kind of acting a little bit like
• 54:31
  a newborn in the night. She kind of did this in the last
• 54:34
  few months. And I just think in terms of I
• 54:36
  only have this season one time and I, you know, I remember my
• 54:40
  oldest was like, cuddle me, cuddle me Mama.
• 54:42
  He just turned 6. He's still asking to be cuddled.
• 54:45
  And he's like, cuddle me Mama. And I was exhausted.
• 54:48
  Bedtime had extended till 9:00 PM at this point, you know, I if
• 54:51
  I go up into his bunk bed to cuddle him, it makes noise.
• 54:54
  It could wake up Gigi, all of this stuff, right?
• 54:55
  So I'm like, like, oh, I'm going to let me rub your back.
• 54:57
  And then I'm like run out of there because I'm going to go do
• 54:59
  some more work, you know, because I have like all my work
• 55:01
  at night like I do and I actually really enjoy my work.
• 55:03
  It's like a beautiful joy to do my work anyways.
• 55:07
  But then so I said, no, this was like a month, couple months ago.
• 55:10
  And then I just felt really convicted.
• 55:12
  Like you had the opportunity to snuggle like that little boy
• 55:15
  Will might stop asking to be snuggle snuggled in like a
• 55:18
  month. You don't know how long your
• 55:19
  window is, and you don't even know how long your time with him
• 55:23
  is. Like, I might not be here
• 55:24
  tomorrow. Like, our kids are not
• 55:25
  guaranteed. Like, there's some people who
• 55:27
  literally beg God for a baby and they never get one.
• 55:30
  Like, so I was just like, I just had this realization.
• 55:32
  I was like, what a blessing. He wants to.
• 55:36
  He wants me to cuddle him. So I'm going to start crying
• 55:38
  thinking about it. But so, so now.
• 55:40
  So sometimes, yeah, in the moment, it doesn't feel
• 55:42
  convenient. And again, other moms listening
• 55:45
  are like, Lila, I have 8:00 kids, and if they don't all go
• 55:47
  to bed by 9, our household is in shambles or by by 7:30.
• 55:51
  So I'm not going to be cuddling them individually all night.
• 55:53
  Like, people have to do what works for their family, right?
• 55:56
  But for our family, it's like, OK.
• 55:58
  That's the season. You want to cuddle I'm and then
• 56:00
  I do what do I do? I fall asleep.
• 56:03
  You know it's I wake up, it's like I disoriented.
• 56:05
  It's 10 PMI have work still to do that.
• 56:08
  I snuggled my my guy and and I'm and I'm like I that is what was
• 56:13
  most important for me to be doing at that time when I made
• 56:16
  that choice and right, thank God.
• 56:18
  What do they say? It's like our children are our
• 56:20
  most important work. Yes, you know, and.
• 56:23
  Exactly. Yeah, it's and he has one
• 56:25
  childhood Exactly. And I want his memories to be of
• 56:28
  his mother snuggling him, his father and his mother putting
• 56:33
  him first and loving on him and not rushing off to the next
• 56:37
  thing because they're always so busy.
• 56:39
  And that's a big yeah. So I mean, this can segue easily
• 56:42
  into like the whole how do you give them enough attention with
• 56:45
  a big family, right? That a nice talking point.
• 56:47
  Busy. That's.
• 56:48
  A good one. No, it's great.
• 56:50
  I just think it's a good like a nice segue.
• 56:51
  Talking about Botox yet, but I'm sure.
• 56:53
  We keep getting back, yeah, the body image.
• 56:55
  I think we covered some of it, but.
• 56:58
  She's kicking like crazy. He's like, I'm here, guys, he's
• 57:01
  talking crazy. Yeah.
• 57:03
  I can't wait to meet him. Oh, yeah.
• 57:07
  Oh, yeah. I feel like I just saw.
• 57:08
  Yeah. You can like see him moving.
• 57:11
  That's so amazing. He's.
• 57:12
  Gonna like not perform. It's truly amazing.
• 57:14
  We have a baby on set. It's just, it's, it's crazy.
• 57:19
  The human body, what what God is assigned a woman's body to be
• 57:23
  able to do is completely miraculous.
• 57:25
  Oh yeah, I want to talk about that.
• 57:27
  Do you know one of the new horrible things?
• 57:30
  Like I don't want it so it's trending, but they call it body
• 57:34
  horror. Like horror, like HORRO.
• 57:36
  Do I spell it right? Like, like pregnancy is body
• 57:39
  horror. And like that mean like.
• 57:44
  It's horror. Horror.
• 57:46
  Not like horror like, yeah, horror.
• 57:49
  I'm like. You're from New Jersey.
• 57:50
  I know. Everywhere I know you see like
• 57:51
  that, Italian like. That is hilarious horror.
• 57:55
  Body horror wait but body who are mean meaning pregnancy is.
• 58:00
  Yeah, like how could you do that to yourself?
• 58:02
  Oh gosh. I know I have a talking point,
• 58:04
  the new celebrity talking, the new celebrity thing.
• 58:06
  I might have gestational diabetes or I, you know, I had a
• 58:10
  difficult birth experience. Not to underplay how difficult
• 58:13
  births some births can be and traumatic, but so I'm going to
• 58:16
  hire a surrogate, another woman to birth my baby, which is a
• 58:20
  trend that's very pop like becoming more popular as today.
• 58:23
  But they're saying that birth is well, birth is kind of insane.
• 58:27
  It is and pregnancy it insane in the sense that it's so crazy how
• 58:31
  it happens, but it's beautiful. I don't know about tell us about
• 58:35
  it. I actually haven't seen this
• 58:36
  trend. Oh, I have.
• 58:37
  And oh, people will comment to me too, like, oh, why do you
• 58:41
  hate yourself so much? Yeah, Chrissy.
• 58:45
  Because you're pregnant for the 7th time.
• 58:48
  How misogynistic is that though? It's like shaming women for
• 58:51
  periods honestly, because whether or not you.
• 58:54
  Choose to have kids. You hate what the female body
• 58:57
  was. Defined exactly what?
• 58:58
  Whether you choose to have kids. We are biologically made to do
• 59:02
  this. So yeah.
• 59:06
  So I think it's just like a deeply misogynistic comment.
• 59:08
  Like, how can you say that you're for women, but you
• 59:11
  condemn women for being pregnant when that's literally what
• 59:15
  they're designed to do? Whether or not everyone does
• 59:17
  that is different, but that is what the female body is designed
• 59:20
  to do. Instead of looking at this stuff
• 59:23
  as like disgusting or horrible, like shouldn't we be looking at
• 59:26
  like that's insane but in awe? Yes, it's so beautiful rather.
• 59:30
  Than, you know, like it's like, wow, you go through all that and
• 59:37
  and then you do it again, like, you know what?
• 59:38
  That's, that's an, that's a testament right there.
• 59:40
  Like, why are we, why do we keep doing it?
• 59:42
  Obviously it's very much worth it.
• 59:43
  You see your babies. And I mean, it's something like
• 59:45
  I, I didn't come up with this, but I heard it and it was like,
• 59:48
  sacrifice isn't bad. It's giving something up of
• 59:50
  comfort now for something so much greater in the future.
• 59:52
  And we live in such this. What is it?
• 59:55
  The comfort crisis? That's what it's called, where
• 59:57
  we're just the thought of being uncomfortable will make us just
• 1:00:00
  not do anything. When it there's, so yeah,
• 1:00:03
  there's a sacrifice involved that yeah, you're sacrificing
• 1:00:05
  your comfort. But I mean the rewards are just
• 1:00:10
  tenfold. Like I mean.
• 1:00:11
  So it's a trend on social media where they're saying it's
• 1:00:15
  horrible. Like it's, it's horrible.
• 1:00:17
  It's a. Form of self harm.
• 1:00:18
  To be pregnant. I mean, that's that's like
• 1:00:21
  abortion propaganda that it's. Well, it's, yeah, it's all my
• 1:00:26
  body, my choice until you want to have the babies, right?
• 1:00:29
  That's the thing that upsets me the most.
• 1:00:30
  I'm like the same people screaming that are like mad at
• 1:00:33
  me for having babies when I like.
• 1:00:35
  It's my choice to have. The baby, right, Why?
• 1:00:38
  I think it's, yeah, the choice. It's very dehumanizing because
• 1:00:41
  it's basically that's the way we all entered the world was
• 1:00:43
  through birth. And to say that it's horrible or
• 1:00:47
  that. Self harm.
• 1:00:48
  Yeah, that's very. And yeah, I think it's just
• 1:00:51
  rooted in misogyny. Like it's like shaming women for
• 1:00:53
  having periods. I think the conversation about
• 1:00:58
  epidurals and birthing, I think we should go there because I
• 1:01:02
  have seen, I have seen all these trends, which I'm sure you've
• 1:01:06
  seen about how to be pregnant, how to give birth.
• 1:01:12
  And there's a lot of extremes, I feel.
• 1:01:15
  And I think the truth is always somewhere in the middle.
• 1:01:17
  Yes. But if somebody feels called to
• 1:01:19
  an extreme, as long as they're not hurting themselves or other
• 1:01:21
  people and it's not like immoral, then maybe that's a
• 1:01:23
  beautiful path for them. So, you know, that sounds super
• 1:01:27
  nuancey, but I think it is nuancey.
• 1:01:29
  I mean, my first, I gave birth without an epidural.
• 1:01:33
  It was the most physically intense thing I've ever done.
• 1:01:35
  It was 24 hours. The labor started at midnight.
• 1:01:38
  I hadn't slept all day. My water broke.
• 1:01:40
  And then it went a full day. So I would have been awake for
• 1:01:42
  like, what is that 48? Not 48 hours, but like almost 40
• 1:01:45
  hours. And then I had neural epidural
• 1:01:48
  and then I was, you know, the pushing was almost 4 hours.
• 1:01:51
  So it was a very intense birth experience, but I'm glad I did
• 1:01:55
  it because it was, it was incredible.
• 1:01:57
  I mean, it was, it was extraordinarily intense and
• 1:02:00
  arduous, but it was incredible. My second one, I started to
• 1:02:04
  panic when we got to the hospital because I, they masked
• 1:02:06
  us up. I had no mother, no birth doula.
• 1:02:09
  There was just me and my husband.
• 1:02:10
  My husband. It's great, but they didn't let
• 1:02:12
  us have like they wanted me to. They were swabbing my nose for
• 1:02:15
  COVID while I'm in labor. Which?
• 1:02:18
  Was more insulting than anything else of that experience.
• 1:02:20
  They're like, it's because I'm alone in the room with my
• 1:02:23
  husband anyway, it's the whole thing I thought was just silly,
• 1:02:26
  right And then I was after and I was already thinking maybe I'll
• 1:02:29
  get an epidural with this one because I've tried it this way
• 1:02:32
  and it kind of was just curious like what's it going to be like?
• 1:02:34
  So we did an epidural for the second.
• 1:02:36
  So anyways, I all that just say I think either way.
• 1:02:40
  Oh, you pick. We're.
• 1:02:42
  Bringing babies in the world, that's what matters the most.
• 1:02:46
  Yeah, I and one's not better or worse than the other.
• 1:02:48
  There's disadvantages and disadvantages.
• 1:02:50
  Yeah, home births are amazing. I am home birth nerd.
• 1:02:53
  I will like watch the videos. Have you done one?
• 1:02:55
  No, I found an epidural every time.
• 1:02:58
  But you imagine the home birthday.
• 1:03:00
  Yeah. And and so I've talked.
• 1:03:02
  About this and you and Timmy get a big tub get all the kids in
• 1:03:04
  there I. Have huge babies and it just
• 1:03:06
  freaks me out and I I don't know, maybe it's the propaganda.
• 1:03:08
  I don't know. I don't know.
• 1:03:11
  I just just put up. They feel more comfortable.
• 1:03:14
  I've I've I just know what I know at this point.
• 1:03:17
  But my girlfriend, she had seven in the hospital and then on hers
• 1:03:20
  I was like, oh, it was on her 7th.
• 1:03:21
  She's like, I'm going to do home birth.
• 1:03:22
  And I was like by 7, like I'm like Nope, old dog, new tricks
• 1:03:26
  ain't now. Like I know what I know.
• 1:03:30
  Did she do it? Yeah, now.
• 1:03:31
  Now they're all. She's on her 11th.
• 1:03:32
  They're all home birth after that.
• 1:03:34
  What made her switch? I oh, it was COVID.
• 1:03:38
  Oh, yeah. And so she freaked out.
• 1:03:39
  Yeah. And she's like, understandable.
• 1:03:41
  Yeah. And that just and it was a great
• 1:03:44
  experience and so. So do you do epidural every
• 1:03:48
  time? Every single time.
• 1:03:50
  So my first 3 but my first three were inductions because I was
• 1:03:55
  hitting like the 42 week mark and babies already.
• 1:03:58
  I mean, I have £10 babies and so you know there is risk to that,
• 1:04:02
  right? So some people are like, no,
• 1:04:03
  just your baby will come when your baby will come.
• 1:04:04
  And I'm like. Hey, six weeks baby will
• 1:04:06
  finally. Come, I'm like, I'm all for, you
• 1:04:08
  know, hey, but there are still risk.
• 1:04:10
  And to me I was like, I know the risk and this is what you do as
• 1:04:13
  a parent for everything you do, you assess the risk and you make
• 1:04:16
  your choice. And so to me, I was like,
• 1:04:19
  they're already really big. I'm hitting 42 weeks.
• 1:04:23
  I'm going it's my first baby. Like I'm doing what the doctor
• 1:04:25
  says, you know, and so I had to get induced.
• 1:04:27
  And when they give you Pitocin, it's so intense.
• 1:04:30
  I was like, and I was trying not to have an epidural, of course,
• 1:04:33
  you know, And I knew of people who were, so they had pitocin or
• 1:04:39
  labor was so intense that by the time it came to push, their body
• 1:04:42
  couldn't do it because of the exhaustion of just insane labor.
• 1:04:46
  And they had to get an emergency C-section.
• 1:04:48
  And so I was like, I'll do the epidural, I guess, because the
• 1:04:52
  nurses were like, do we have something for you?
• 1:04:54
  And I was like, OK. And I was like throwing up the
• 1:04:56
  nurses and I. Was like, let us just give you
• 1:04:58
  the. Epidural and they weren't pushy.
• 1:05:00
  It was just like, and you know, my husband's watching me in
• 1:05:03
  rhythm, in pain. And it's like, and maybe, you
• 1:05:06
  know, there could be the argument like, oh, you just need
• 1:05:08
  the right tools and it's a mental thing.
• 1:05:10
  OK, Well, I didn't, I didn't have it.
• 1:05:11
  I wasn't planning on doing home birth or anything like that.
• 1:05:13
  So, so, so the first three were epidurals because I had to get
• 1:05:17
  induced for them because again, hitting 42 weeks, I assess the
• 1:05:21
  wrist 10 LB babies and I, you know, I was able to like
• 1:05:26
  vaginally birth all of them though.
• 1:05:27
  And so by my 4th baby, I was able, I swear by this.
• 1:05:32
  Obviously it's totally anecdotal, but I get on those
• 1:05:35
  big like yoga balls and I just like do these moves to get baby
• 1:05:38
  in position. But I will be on that all day.
• 1:05:40
  Like I'll be like set up the kids with the coloring books,
• 1:05:43
  put the movie on and I will just be on that ball all day and like
• 1:05:47
  the baby will come the next day. So, but I, I always do it at
• 1:05:51
  like the 41 week mark is when I start to do that.
• 1:05:53
  So baby, who knows? Maybe it was already like, yeah,
• 1:05:56
  but so I just don't want to get induced again.
• 1:05:58
  I hate, I hate getting pitocin. But so I went in naturally and I
• 1:06:03
  was like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to be able to do this
• 1:06:05
  without an epidural and then those contractions.
• 1:06:08
  And I was like, no, give me that.
• 1:06:10
  Give it to me, please, I beg of you and.
• 1:06:12
  Then with my fifth baby, I was like, I'm going to labor at
• 1:06:15
  home, so it's just not even an option.
• 1:06:18
  So I. Why?
• 1:06:18
  I'm just curious, why were you thinking?
• 1:06:20
  I really just want to do it with that?
• 1:06:22
  Did you just want to prove it to yourself like I can?
• 1:06:24
  Do this like, it's so magical, like I don't know.
• 1:06:26
  And then? You want to have the experience
• 1:06:27
  well. And there's risk.
• 1:06:28
  Of. Feeling there's risk involved
• 1:06:30
  with that the girl you know there are risk and even though
• 1:06:34
  there are risk, it is extremely study OK and it's you know, it's
• 1:06:39
  for the most part it is deemed safe, right.
• 1:06:42
  And you can get headaches, even paralysis worst case scenario.
• 1:06:45
  Yeah. And there's risk and there's
• 1:06:46
  risk to the baby, right. And there's risk to bonding and
• 1:06:50
  to breastfeeding. I have not experienced those
• 1:06:52
  risk. I've been able to bond,
• 1:06:54
  breastfeed immediately with each kid, but with each kid it's,
• 1:06:57
  it's different. So I just, I don't know, with my
• 1:07:00
  fifth baby, I was like, let's try to do it without it.
• 1:07:04
  Everyone's telling me I should, you know, here we go again,
• 1:07:07
  where I'm not like deserting myself, but I'm listening to
• 1:07:09
  everyone else. And it was so painful.
• 1:07:11
  And again, I didn't have like a doula.
• 1:07:13
  I didn't have any tools, so I don't want to discourage women
• 1:07:17
  from this because again, I think it's I think it's awesome.
• 1:07:19
  How do you choose to birth? Like I think it's just awesome.
• 1:07:21
  But. I think that's actually a really
• 1:07:22
  good point. Like you didn't like you're
• 1:07:23
  saying you didn't have a doula, you didn't have tools.
• 1:07:25
  I do think one of the things I'm really grateful for with my
• 1:07:28
  first birth is that I had a birthing class personalized with
• 1:07:32
  this amazing doula. Shout out to Talitha.
• 1:07:34
  But I I, you know, had this beautiful experience.
• 1:07:36
  She came to our home like we did birthing classes.
• 1:07:38
  She was there at the birth. And so I felt very prepared to
• 1:07:42
  know what to expect. I really studied what is birth
• 1:07:44
  like, talk to whether women, I went into it with eyes wide
• 1:07:47
  open. I do think it is a problem today
• 1:07:50
  for women to not talk about birth, to not understand what
• 1:07:54
  birth is like, to not pass that on in their community, to not
• 1:07:56
  have birth helpers and assistants.
• 1:07:58
  Like if you hypermedicalized birthright instead of making it
• 1:08:02
  this normal, natural, beautiful thing.
• 1:08:03
  I do think there's disadvantages.
• 1:08:04
  So from all those reasons I understand, especially the
• 1:08:07
  people who are like on their high horse about no epidurals
• 1:08:09
  because they're trying to help women understand actually your
• 1:08:11
  body can do this without an epidural and it doesn't have to
• 1:08:14
  be disastrous like the way you might fear.
• 1:08:16
  Like it's actually really beautiful.
• 1:08:18
  And of course, there are those risks to epidurals as well.
• 1:08:20
  Yeah, so I I totally understand both sides of the argument, like
• 1:08:23
  completely. But I think my issue comes when
• 1:08:25
  the shaming happens and it's like, and I think the women
• 1:08:28
  they're and I'll get it in my comments too.
• 1:08:30
  We can go over it. I mean, I have a whole YouTube
• 1:08:32
  video coming out about this that goes way more in depth, but it
• 1:08:35
  was kind of like, you aren't sacrificing your body enough and
• 1:08:39
  you need to think of God the way he sacrificed his suffering and
• 1:08:42
  you need to give that suffering up to God.
• 1:08:43
  And I'm like, I agree with you, but the way you're going about
• 1:08:46
  this and having to be the epidural, like I don't agree
• 1:08:50
  with that sentiment. It's kind of the notion like
• 1:08:52
  this one decision you make as a mother, like you're not, you're
• 1:08:56
  not giving it up to God enough. And I'm like, well, there's the
• 1:08:58
  whole pregnancy. I mean, that's not a cakewalk.
• 1:09:02
  There's the birth itself, even with an epidural, like it's not
• 1:09:04
  as if it's just sometimes I've had really good epidurals where
• 1:09:07
  it has been like a pain free birth.
• 1:09:09
  But a lot of times you most of the time you feel a lot going
• 1:09:12
  on, right? And so the site notion that like
• 1:09:16
  this decision, this one decision you make is determined of how
• 1:09:22
  much suffering you're giving to God.
• 1:09:23
  I don't really. I reject that notion and it
• 1:09:26
  doesn't the. Quality of how you suffer
• 1:09:28
  because you can suffer well and you can suffer badly.
• 1:09:32
  Like I don't want to suffer right now.
• 1:09:33
  I'm so mad at God. I'm so upset with everybody like
• 1:09:35
  well, Lord, Ioffer the suffering up and it could the suffering
• 1:09:38
  could be like impatience while you're driving, but you offer
• 1:09:40
  for the good of souls or, you know, inconvenience during the
• 1:09:43
  day. So yes, you can OfferUp the you
• 1:09:46
  can OfferUp birth and you should OfferUp birth.
• 1:09:47
  You can have all your intentions, but every day the
• 1:09:50
  Lord will give you an offer opportunity to offer something
• 1:09:52
  up right. That's the nature of.
• 1:09:54
  And you know, I have women straight up be like, well, we
• 1:09:56
  just care more about our babies than you and.
• 1:10:00
  Aren't these comments Christy? I know I have.
• 1:10:03
  People actually say that? I had someone, it wasn't, I
• 1:10:06
  guess I shouldn't say you, I think she said.
• 1:10:08
  Well, we might. There's risk involved and so we
• 1:10:10
  don't think it was. Something about that you.
• 1:10:12
  You're yeah. And why would you do that to
• 1:10:14
  your baby? We just what is the risk for?
• 1:10:16
  The baby of epithet I really. I'm not, I'm not.
• 1:10:19
  I'm going to ask for. All that I'm going to ask Doctor
• 1:10:21
  Sears about their risk of. But there is a hindrance with
• 1:10:25
  there could be again and I haven't experienced those too.
• 1:10:28
  So risk aren't necessarily what's exactly going to happen.
• 1:10:30
  They're the risk, right, I think, and that's important to
• 1:10:34
  remember. OK, epidurals are a common
• 1:10:36
  choice for pain relief. It's important to consider their
• 1:10:39
  potential effects on the baby. Number one medication transfer.
• 1:10:42
  The medications used in epidurals can cross the placenta
• 1:10:44
  and enter the baby's circulatory system.
• 1:10:46
  They typically reach about 70% of the concentration found in
• 1:10:49
  the mother's butt blood. Well, this is generally
• 1:10:51
  considered faith. It can affect the baby's
• 1:10:54
  alertness and initial responsiveness after birth.
• 1:10:57
  Fetal heart rate, it can drop to drop in the mother's blood
• 1:11:00
  pressure which may lead to changes in the baby's heart
• 1:11:02
  rate. So continue to, if you're going
• 1:11:04
  to do the epidural, that's why they continue monitor and then
• 1:11:07
  breastfeeding. So there's not significant risk
• 1:11:09
  for baby. Then there's the breastfeeding
• 1:11:11
  and bonding. They can be less significantly.
• 1:11:13
  The baby can be less alert initially, which could affect
• 1:11:17
  early breastfeeding success. But I mean, again, I'm not
• 1:11:20
  people are like fly like you're so pro epidural.
• 1:11:22
  I'm actually very much pro for what you know.
• 1:11:25
  What what works? For what works for women and,
• 1:11:27
  and that they be educated, I do think it's good to, I think
• 1:11:31
  there's a beauty to experience birth without an epidural, if
• 1:11:33
  you can. I do think there's A and, and
• 1:11:35
  some women choose not to have any epidurals and I think that
• 1:11:37
  can be very beautiful. But the the truth is though,
• 1:11:40
  there's not, according to some of the experts anyways, it's not
• 1:11:42
  like there's significant risks to the baby.
• 1:11:44
  If there were, then I would not, right?
• 1:11:46
  And that's the thing, and that's my other thing too.
• 1:11:47
  It's, I do think again, everything gets so
• 1:11:49
  sensationalized, you know, and so I, that's my other thing too.
• 1:11:53
  I said, OK, I understand there are risks, but at the same time,
• 1:11:56
  like it has been extremely tested, extremely tested and it
• 1:12:00
  is deemed safe. And again, this just goes being
• 1:12:02
  a parent, you assess your risk. And I, I, it's just, I don't
• 1:12:06
  like using this term because I think it's used in other ways,
• 1:12:09
  but it's another way of like policing women's bodies in a
• 1:12:12
  sense that I'm just like, I don't know, people go, how will
• 1:12:16
  they do it before? And I'm like, I asked my OB
• 1:12:18
  this. I go, how did they do it before?
• 1:12:20
  Like am I just weak? Am I just weak?
• 1:12:23
  No, they would get People have always been trying to manage the
• 1:12:27
  pain during birth. Always Why didn't they like
• 1:12:28
  drink? Drink a ton of alcohol, black
• 1:12:31
  out, which isn't good. Some would yeah, not everyone
• 1:12:34
  obviously, but you, you it kind of just it was like at what
• 1:12:37
  point? OK, give yourself rain to God,
• 1:12:39
  but OK. It's like if you break an arm
• 1:12:41
  like you're, they're not going to even let you be awake for
• 1:12:44
  that operation. You know what?
• 1:12:45
  So I just, I get it. This is the shaming.
• 1:12:48
  It's the shaming. If it's not for you, that's
• 1:12:50
  great. But the shaming of and, and, and
• 1:12:52
  the audacity to kind of be like it's, it's not as holy.
• 1:12:56
  That's what really gets me. And I'm and also, by the way,
• 1:12:59
  there's nothing in the catechism.
• 1:13:01
  There's nothing in any of this. And also there are Catholic
• 1:13:04
  hospitals that they all offer that but.
• 1:13:06
  No, I, I am. And now that we're though to
• 1:13:08
  play devil's advocate, now that we're talking about this, I
• 1:13:10
  think I am a the fact that or realizing the fact that our
• 1:13:14
  C-section rate's really high in America.
• 1:13:15
  OK, yeah, it's way higher than it should be.
• 1:13:18
  My sister who's very crunchy and she like births at home and it's
• 1:13:21
  all about, you know, no epidurals, everything else like
• 1:13:24
  she's, you know, shared and and you can look this up that there
• 1:13:27
  is a cascading effective interventions.
• 1:13:29
  And sometimes an epidural can help start that, depending on
• 1:13:32
  the pregnancy, especially if it's your first, I think because
• 1:13:35
  if you're, you know, the first delivery is usually the toughest
• 1:13:39
  for a lot of women, not always, but often.
• 1:13:41
  And if you have that first delivery as a, as AC section, it
• 1:13:44
  can be harder obviously to have vaginal deliveries later.
• 1:13:47
  And I do think one of you could argue one of the contributing
• 1:13:51
  factors, this might be a stretch to the low birth rate in America
• 1:13:54
  and women not wanting to go through pregnancy and birth
• 1:13:56
  multiple times and having less kids could be that we see birth
• 1:14:01
  through this medical intervention lens.
• 1:14:03
  And there's so many interventions and it has become
• 1:14:06
  like a surgery that you actually physically, it's not good to go
• 1:14:09
  through AC section surgery so many times.
• 1:14:11
  So women feel like, OK, I'm not going to have more than one or
• 1:14:15
  two kids. Well, I do think that's very
• 1:14:17
  real. And you could argue that the
• 1:14:19
  dural has a role in all of. That so I totally agree that
• 1:14:22
  that birth has been whatever over medicalized.
• 1:14:24
  I don't know the right term for it.
• 1:14:25
  I totally agree. That's why I love home births.
• 1:14:27
  I do love them even as someone who takes an epidural and has a
• 1:14:30
  hospital birth. I think this notion of like you,
• 1:14:33
  you are built for this. So that's my whole thing.
• 1:14:35
  I'm like you I I don't think women women who do home birth
• 1:14:40
  some of the will get shamed by other women and I don't we
• 1:14:43
  shouldn't My my whole thing is I don't really care how you birth.
• 1:14:46
  I don't think anyone should be shamed and yeah, so I agree.
• 1:14:51
  I do think there is this like over medicalization and in this
• 1:14:54
  I think it I mean, you want to get into it.
• 1:14:56
  Let's like follow the money like get these people out of the
• 1:14:58
  beds, get more people in the beds, you know, and it's like
• 1:15:01
  you can have a much faster delivery if you just do AC
• 1:15:03
  section. And so I'm, I don't know, I.
• 1:15:06
  Think they make more money? I think it's more so they get to
• 1:15:09
  bill for more money if it's AC. Section I do resent this notion
• 1:15:12
  that all O BS are just super surgeon happy and.
• 1:15:15
  They're all in it for the money. Yeah, I hate that.
• 1:15:17
  I've worked with amazing OB's I've had, you know, I'm on my
• 1:15:20
  7th kid. They love the ones I work with,
• 1:15:23
  love their jobs. They were like, how do you want
• 1:15:26
  to do this? You want to get on your side.
• 1:15:28
  You want the ball, like, what do you want to do?
• 1:15:30
  You want to get on all fours And they're like, hey, you know,
• 1:15:34
  like let's when they're trying to induce the labor, it wasn't
• 1:15:36
  even like go straight to the pit.
• 1:15:38
  It was which toasted. It was like, let's do this.
• 1:15:40
  Let's soften the cervix. Let's do this.
• 1:15:42
  So it's like I reject this notion that they're all just
• 1:15:45
  like, don't care. I want to cut you open and they
• 1:15:49
  they got into this because when I've the ones I've had the
• 1:15:53
  pleasure of, you know, working with, I guess we've been they
• 1:15:56
  love their moms and their babies like they're not.
• 1:16:00
  I know that's why they got into this.
• 1:16:02
  My first OB was in North LA area and he was so patient he
• 1:16:08
  literally he could have done things to like speed up the
• 1:16:10
  because my first delivery in labor was 2524 hours and the
• 1:16:14
  pushing was over 3 hours. So he could have done a lot of
• 1:16:16
  things but he didn't push because he knew my my wishes.
• 1:16:19
  He literally just sat there. That was that was my first 3.
• 1:16:22
  Hours in the IT was night. It was almost midnight by the
• 1:16:25
  time little little boy was bored and he was not trying to.
• 1:16:28
  I mean he could have been, I'm sure 1000 other places.
• 1:16:31
  Right, so that was my dream too. I had my my OB, She was awesome.
• 1:16:35
  And she actually worked a full 12 hour and I was still in labor
• 1:16:39
  because it was an induction. So she made sure she was there
• 1:16:41
  and she's like, oh, and she could have easily been like,
• 1:16:43
  well, I'm getting off the clock here.
• 1:16:44
  Let's just do the C-section. She didn't push it at all.
• 1:16:47
  And then so I ended up getting other OB and it was it was a
• 1:16:49
  male and he was so cool because my husband is his first baby and
• 1:16:54
  he was so into it. My husband like Tim, he was just
• 1:16:56
  like, this is the coolest thing. Like you're bringing life into
• 1:17:00
  the world. And so it was a male obese.
• 1:17:02
  So he loved, I think, seeing this another husband, like a
• 1:17:05
  husband just be so into it. And so he's like, come on down
• 1:17:09
  here. You want to see in terms like,
• 1:17:10
  yeah, it was like, and my husband, you know, he's a
• 1:17:14
  computer programmer, but he was like, I want to be an OB.
• 1:17:16
  And I'm like, you're seeing, you know, yeah.
• 1:17:18
  It was just, he thought it was just so cool seeing like
• 1:17:21
  bringing life into the world. Like you're helping bringing
• 1:17:23
  life into the world. Yeah.
• 1:17:25
  And so, yeah, my husband was like, all of us.
• 1:17:29
  But the doctor made it really cool for him.
• 1:17:32
  And he was so patient. He too could have been like, all
• 1:17:33
  right, you've been because my labour was really long too.
• 1:17:37
  And he didn't push it. They didn't.
• 1:17:40
  They weren't even like, I'm going to get the forceps out
• 1:17:42
  like. Did you just check your watch?
• 1:17:44
  Sorry. Oh, no, I didn't use you.
• 1:17:46
  I just. I just got a glance at it.
• 1:17:48
  You're talking. You're drinking.
• 1:17:50
  You're talking too long. This.
• 1:17:53
  Is more so hilarious he's. Been like talking for 5 minutes
• 1:17:58
  straight. No, I did this move and my watch
• 1:18:02
  OK. And when you're talking, I was
• 1:18:09
  like, all this, I'm not talking like, oh, she got to answer
• 1:18:11
  anything. I've heard this before.
• 1:18:13
  But I'm going to say it anyway. That is so funny.
• 1:18:17
  But anyways, the whole, yeah, going back to the well, I want
• 1:18:26
  to go back to a little bit to the the epidural and like if
• 1:18:29
  it's holy or whatever there, you know, there are women who will
• 1:18:34
  say like they'll tell me like, well, it's all the
• 1:18:38
  interventions. It's because of the
• 1:18:39
  intervention. We take a moment.
• 1:18:47
  Sorry. Good.
• 1:18:47
  Oh my God. Giggly.
• 1:18:48
  OK, OK, Yeah. So the women that say that
• 1:18:54
  you're not wholly with the epidural?
• 1:18:56
  It was more, oh, it's all the interventions or it's all of
• 1:18:58
  this there's. Sorry, we have to clip better.
• 1:19:07
  That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen on the
• 1:19:09
  show. He's like they're.
• 1:19:13
  Going to want to see you get giggly and break character.
• 1:19:17
  My sister came, my sister is here.
• 1:19:19
  She's going to, she and my brother Paul are doing a podcast
• 1:19:22
  tonight at 10:00 PM. But she got here and I was like,
• 1:19:24
  we were just, it was like 9:00 PM at like 10:00 PM last night.
• 1:19:27
  And I was just sort of like letting it all out.
• 1:19:29
  It's my sister. It's my little sister were
• 1:19:31
  talking and I was like, I I'm not.
• 1:19:32
  I had this pent up weird energy. You know that when you're in
• 1:19:35
  other settings, you just totally like it would be obnoxious if I
• 1:19:38
  was weird all the time on a podcast.
• 1:19:39
  So but you bring. You're just so fun and
• 1:19:42
  wonderful. So that means a lot.
• 1:19:43
  Well, I was actually talking to Harris, arguing off a little
• 1:19:45
  sharp. I was talking to Harris.
• 1:19:47
  I think it would be really fun if you'd be up for it if I could
• 1:19:50
  interview you. And because I think you have
• 1:19:54
  this awesome other side that not everyone gets to see.
• 1:19:56
  And it's your show. It's the Lila Roche show.
• 1:19:58
  But make it the Chrissy Horton show.
• 1:20:00
  No, no, no, I like the Lila Rocher, like let's get to know
• 1:20:03
  Lila. But like you want the interview
• 1:20:06
  to feel like where you can bring out your goofy sites, whether
• 1:20:08
  it's a sibling or someone doesn't have to be me, but I was
• 1:20:10
  thinking we have good chemistry and I would ask fun questions
• 1:20:13
  that go further beyond and like you're, you know, will answer
• 1:20:19
  get into your story. But like I feel like you've had
• 1:20:21
  a lot of those interviews, but like the other side, like the
• 1:20:25
  yeah, like the girly, the fun side.
• 1:20:27
  And we I think could be like a fun like girl chat if you're
• 1:20:29
  ever interested in that. I think that would be a fun
• 1:20:31
  episode because people tend to like, I mean, I don't know, I've
• 1:20:34
  just I've gotten a lot of feedback.
• 1:20:35
  Like I really liked watching the two of you interact.
• 1:20:38
  So anyways I thought that would be fun show.
• 1:20:41
  Where people I do get to know you, I do feel very like free to
• 1:20:44
  just in a rush. No, I love it in.
• 1:20:46
  My mind, I know. Because I have ADD and it's
• 1:20:48
  like, yeah, oops, sorry, we have similar.
• 1:20:50
  Yeah, it's like. Then we'll get back to that
• 1:20:52
  other topic of other. Time, but you were saying about
• 1:20:54
  epidurals. Oh yeah, the whole, oh, I think,
• 1:20:58
  oh, the big comment I got was I hope you can experience it the
• 1:21:01
  way God designed. And I said and.
• 1:21:04
  You're like, I hope you can experience open hearts through
• 1:21:06
  the way God designed. Well, that's when it comes down
• 1:21:08
  to right, like medical interventions were there are
• 1:21:11
  there for a reason and a part of and someone brought this up to
• 1:21:13
  me. I did not come up with this on
• 1:21:14
  my own. Actually God's because they
• 1:21:17
  said, oh, because God's design is perfect.
• 1:21:19
  You're absolutely right. God's sign is perfect, but our
• 1:21:22
  bodies are not. Because of the fall, Yes so.
• 1:21:24
  Yeah, the late labor pain was literally a result of the fall,
• 1:21:28
  a consequence of the fall. That's such a good point.
• 1:21:31
  And so it says, yes, God's designed perfect, but our bodies
• 1:21:33
  are not. That's why some people are what?
• 1:21:36
  How could you say that? Someone who's born with
• 1:21:37
  disability, you know what I mean?
• 1:21:39
  Like, oh, God's design wasn't perfect.
• 1:21:42
  That's not what you would say to someone with a disability,
• 1:21:44
  right? And so because people who who
• 1:21:47
  are born differently, they bring their own special gifts into the
• 1:21:49
  world through that. So yeah, when people say, I hope
• 1:21:52
  you can experience it the way God designed, I said, well, this
• 1:21:55
  is actually he designed it perfectly.
• 1:21:57
  But our bodies, they're not perfect.
• 1:21:59
  Trail. Yeah, well, and I think that's
• 1:22:02
  why some women do actually attain.
• 1:22:04
  I've even like Ellen Fisher as an example.
• 1:22:06
  Amazing. She's had five kids and she
• 1:22:08
  talks about, like, birth as a pleasurable experience for her.
• 1:22:11
  She actually doesn't feel pain with a lot.
• 1:22:13
  Of her birth. And she's goes through these,
• 1:22:15
  like, program for how to do that.
• 1:22:16
  And I do think that is the situation for some women.
• 1:22:19
  Yeah, absolutely. And it's very legitimate.
• 1:22:20
  And then other women, it's different.
• 1:22:22
  So I think it also just depends on your body and your own
• 1:22:25
  experiences and your training and just, you know, there's a
• 1:22:28
  little bit of randomness to it, but God's in all of it.
• 1:22:31
  Absolutely. And I do think the women who
• 1:22:34
  shame, shame other women. So it doesn't mean that you had
• 1:22:37
  a positive birth experience and you think that's for everyone.
• 1:22:40
  I'm saying when you shame someone else for the way they
• 1:22:42
  they birth. So the shaming specifically I
• 1:22:45
  there seems to be to me a bit of like survival bias.
• 1:22:49
  I don't know if that's the right term for it, but I think that's
• 1:22:51
  amazing. You had such an incredible home
• 1:22:53
  birth and you had an incredible experience.
• 1:22:55
  And I love that for you because I think it is so beautiful.
• 1:22:59
  But when you shame another mom for not doing it the way you did
• 1:23:02
  it, I think you might have some sort of survival virus because
• 1:23:05
  you don't know what that woman went through.
• 1:23:07
  I because of what I do and the amount of messages I get, I've
• 1:23:10
  heard amazing home birth stories and I've heard horrific wants
• 1:23:15
  to. I've heard amazing hospital
• 1:23:17
  birth stories and I've heard horrific once too.
• 1:23:20
  So this notion of like this one-size-fits-all.
• 1:23:23
  That's the thing I have an issue with.
• 1:23:25
  Yes, we didn't always have this medicalized way of giving birth.
• 1:23:29
  I totally agree. But these advancements were made
• 1:23:32
  for a reason. We didn't have a medicalized way
• 1:23:34
  of fixing broken arms back in the day, you know, like, but
• 1:23:37
  these advancements exist for reason and God created these
• 1:23:40
  scientific advancements, you know?
• 1:23:42
  So I guess I just very much just reject this notion of like
• 1:23:45
  epidurals being unholy or inherently evil or, or selfish
• 1:23:49
  for the mom that was the big one.
• 1:23:51
  Like, oh, you're just lazy. I will save my second birth,
• 1:23:55
  partly because it was a second, but I think the epidural
• 1:23:57
  actually made the recovery easier.
• 1:23:59
  Now some women it's the opposite.
• 1:24:00
  The epidural makes it harder, but.
• 1:24:03
  That was my experience, too. With my second, I got the
• 1:24:05
  epidural like right away. I was walking around
• 1:24:08
  immediately, like within an hour.
• 1:24:10
  I felt great on my feet. Yeah, yeah, I felt great.
• 1:24:13
  And with my first, I prolonged it so long and then it actually
• 1:24:18
  wore off by the time I pushed and I screamed like the movies.
• 1:24:21
  And that happened with my fifth, too.
• 1:24:23
  My first and fifth were like really similar where I'm like,
• 1:24:27
  I'm positive this didn't work. And I talked about with my OB
• 1:24:29
  and she was like, yeah, it sounds like it didn't work.
• 1:24:31
  It didn't take or enough of it. Yeah.
• 1:24:34
  Or just everything happened too fast.
• 1:24:35
  It didn't have time. Do you feel fear going into
• 1:24:38
  preparing for every single time, Every time, Every time.
• 1:24:41
  Yeah, I I'm always scared and like.
• 1:24:45
  The when the when the labor pains start, or before, like the
• 1:24:50
  weeks leading up to it. Yeah, I'm scared right now.
• 1:24:54
  Yeah, I think that's part of the reason why I won't do it.
• 1:24:56
  I know part of the reason I won't do a home birth.
• 1:24:58
  I'm scared of what could go wrong or scared of what it's
• 1:25:01
  going to feel like. Scared of what could go wrong.
• 1:25:03
  I mean, I can handle whatever, but scare what could go wrong?
• 1:25:07
  And yeah, I mean, I shouldn't say can handle whatever.
• 1:25:09
  I got an open roll. But I mean, like the epidural
• 1:25:13
  actually does bring me some comfort though and Peace of Mind
• 1:25:17
  because I know if it gets bad, like there is something there
• 1:25:20
  and that and it has worked. Sometimes it hasn't.
• 1:25:22
  You know Matt, Brad's wife, Cameron.
• 1:25:25
  OK, I know I don't she. Was on my show a couple years
• 1:25:28
  ago with Matt or when we did the early show.
• 1:25:30
  Anyways I need to have her back. She's amazing.
• 1:25:32
  She was describing how she was having a birth, a labor and
• 1:25:35
  delivery in Ireland because they were like missionaries there.
• 1:25:38
  I think it was her second or something, I don't know which
• 1:25:40
  one. And she had AC section without
• 1:25:43
  any pain meds. What?
• 1:25:47
  Emergency C-section without any pain meds?
• 1:25:48
  Oh my. Gosh, how does she?
• 1:25:50
  She's amazing. Wow.
• 1:25:52
  But that's I mean, she did it. That's what was best for her
• 1:25:55
  baby. Obviously that's life saving.
• 1:25:57
  She did it. So anyways, but but but The
• 1:25:59
  thing is, you can't, you can't prepare for that in advance.
• 1:26:02
  That's something you only can. Handle in the moment absolutely.
• 1:26:05
  Like if you I mean, even just look at I mean, I'm not, I don't
• 1:26:08
  know if this is like a blasphemous comparison, but
• 1:26:10
  like, look at Jesus in, you know, the garden that's sent to
• 1:26:12
  me like he was he, he knew what was coming.
• 1:26:14
  He knew what was coming, the pain that was coming.
• 1:26:17
  I mean, he was human too, and so.
• 1:26:21
  Yeah, and we learned from his example and he just said, Lord,
• 1:26:23
  if it's let this cup pass, but your will not my will be done.
• 1:26:26
  And that's how I get, I mean, that's how I get through it.
• 1:26:29
  People said, well, why you keep yourself army?
• 1:26:32
  So they you know, and I'm like, Oh my, this is a so even though
• 1:26:35
  I'm getting epidural, I still give it to him because I'm so
• 1:26:37
  scared. I'm scared every time.
• 1:26:40
  I'm so scared to deliver in a car.
• 1:26:42
  Oh my. God, have you talked to mom?
• 1:26:44
  So you've done that? Oh yeah, my girlfriend just so.
• 1:26:46
  Undelivered in the car. On like and.
• 1:26:47
  So how does that work? You deliver in the car and then
• 1:26:50
  you pull over, finally get to the hospital and then you like
• 1:26:52
  walk out with this. Yeah, so she she was on her way
• 1:26:55
  to the hospital and she was like doing everything right.
• 1:26:57
  And what number was this? Six.
• 1:26:58
  Yeah, that's why. But she was still doing.
• 1:27:00
  That's what freaks me out. I'm like she it wasn't like she
• 1:27:02
  waited. She was as.
• 1:27:04
  Soon as she felt the lady, yeah. She was like, let's go.
• 1:27:06
  And it still happened that I'm like, Oh my.
• 1:27:08
  God, how long was the ride? Please, it was like 20 minutes.
• 1:27:11
  How far away is your? House, 20 minutes.
• 1:27:15
  It'll make a great story. After that, you come on the
• 1:27:16
  show, we'll talk about the baby to like, no, it's not.
• 1:27:18
  My gosh, I can't. I'm so scared, I'm so scared.
• 1:27:21
  But what is scary about it because of what could go wrong
• 1:27:24
  or. Just like what if something goes
• 1:27:26
  wrong and. If the baby is coming out that
• 1:27:28
  quickly and easily, it's typically a sign nothing's going
• 1:27:30
  wrong. That's the good news.
• 1:27:31
  It's. Really comforting, I never
• 1:27:33
  thought of that. Usually something's going wrong
• 1:27:35
  when the baby won't come out or when it's taking a lot or
• 1:27:38
  there's other complications. Her husband has never delivered
• 1:27:40
  these babies, right? She's always had hospital birth.
• 1:27:43
  He noticed the shoulder was like stuck and he got in there and
• 1:27:46
  just like I, I'm like. Well, she was in the car.
• 1:27:50
  Yeah, He so he pulled over. Yeah.
• 1:27:52
  They had to do a call. Ramp, Did he call 91?
• 1:27:54
  One Yeah. And they, like, weren't home.
• 1:27:56
  Did they show up? Yeah.
• 1:27:58
  Like how long did it? 20 minutes after the baby was
• 1:28:00
  born. Or so.
• 1:28:00
  Gosh, yeah. So she gives birth in the car.
• 1:28:03
  Yeah, but he like knew what? And I think it again, it's like
• 1:28:05
  the good Lord adrenaline and you know, all these things.
• 1:28:08
  God is real. God's grace is.
• 1:28:09
  Muscle and he just was like. And then pulled a baby out.
• 1:28:12
  Never delivered a baby. And then baby, well he had 6
• 1:28:15
  before and then puts baby on mama's chest.
• 1:28:17
  Yeah, but she said baby wasn't responding.
• 1:28:19
  That's so stupid. But she didn't panic.
• 1:28:21
  So what did she do well? She just, you know how they
• 1:28:23
  rubbed the baby and she just started rubbing the baby and
• 1:28:26
  then baby started crying, coughed.
• 1:28:27
  Yeah, sweet. She's like, so chilled though,
• 1:28:30
  too. I was like, well, if anyone's
• 1:28:30
  gonna birth in a car, you're the one to do it because you're just
• 1:28:33
  like, wow. The way she's telling the story
• 1:28:34
  too, like we're all sitting there, like, do you have birth
• 1:28:36
  trauma? And she's like, huh, That's
• 1:28:38
  that. That's how our great grandma's
• 1:28:42
  were. Birth trauma, birth trauma, some
• 1:28:45
  of there is like legitimate because of a lot of the medical
• 1:28:48
  interventions. Birth.
• 1:28:49
  Trauma, OK, but it goes back to that though, because what I'm
• 1:28:52
  saying is like the whole the movement with like it's over
• 1:28:55
  medicalized. Like a lot of this birth trauma
• 1:28:56
  does exist because of these medical interventions.
• 1:28:59
  So I'm not again, it's just so nuanced.
• 1:29:02
  Even though I'm someone who gets that withdrawal, I give birth in
• 1:29:04
  the hospital. I love my OB's.
• 1:29:06
  I'm not trying to deny that. Right.
• 1:29:09
  That there's these interventions that are unnecessary or that
• 1:29:11
  make can make things worse, you know?
• 1:29:13
  And so again, yeah, I just think we're living in the society
• 1:29:17
  where it's like, where do you stand and what box do you fit
• 1:29:20
  in? And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 1:29:21
  Like, come to your home birthday.
• 1:29:24
  That's amazing. But honestly, I think the reason
• 1:29:26
  for that is because we're not busy enough with the things that
• 1:29:28
  matter most. Yeah, that's so true.
• 1:29:30
  That's why we scroll. That's why we consume too much
• 1:29:33
  content, quite frankly. That's why we're too concerned
• 1:29:36
  with the opinions of others. Because we're not busying
• 1:29:38
  ourselves with the things that matter most.
• 1:29:39
  Which is why those friends of yours that have the 11 kids that
• 1:29:42
  are just not even on social media, they're busy living their
• 1:29:44
  lives. They're probably not constantly
• 1:29:47
  running, going down rabbit holes or spiraling about.
• 1:29:49
  Should I do epidural? Should I not?
• 1:29:50
  They're too busy thinking about, OK, how am I going to, you know,
• 1:29:53
  lead this family and, and grow this.
• 1:29:54
  Family and they are the ones who give me the whole sound advice
• 1:29:57
  yes, because common sense, they're just their discernment
• 1:30:00
  is so it's they're not distracted by all this other
• 1:30:04
  stuff. And then, you know, sometimes
• 1:30:06
  you'll get the oh, you're so sheltered.
• 1:30:08
  And I'm like, no, I'm starting to think like it's not so much
• 1:30:11
  sheltered, but you're just protected really.
• 1:30:13
  I mean it do we really need to be consuming what we consume?
• 1:30:18
  You know, and like, they don't even know what I do.
• 1:30:20
  They're like what? Like what It just?
• 1:30:23
  Like Chrissy's social media, only listen to my podcast.
• 1:30:27
  Actually, you know, if, if, and I actually have told people this
• 1:30:29
  before, but I'll say it again, if people listening to this show
• 1:30:32
  are over indulging or over consuming podcast content or
• 1:30:36
  social media, I very much encourage them to you can close
• 1:30:40
  this podcast out, you know, at least first season love for you
• 1:30:43
  to come back. But you know, you don't have to
• 1:30:44
  be on social media following me. Like if that is your your
• 1:30:47
  conscience, then listen to that. Well, for what it's worth,
• 1:30:50
  almost all the women listen to you, and they're not on social
• 1:30:53
  media. They just know when to tune in.
• 1:30:54
  Oh yeah. Oh yeah, you reach a lot of
• 1:30:57
  people. That are not on social media,
• 1:30:59
  but they're just listening to my.
• 1:31:00
  Long form content. Oh yeah.
• 1:31:02
  Oh, and then it's so like, I didn't, I didn't tell anyone.
• 1:31:07
  Like the first time I came on, I didn't say anything.
• 1:31:09
  And I guess they were listening. And they're like, who did she
• 1:31:11
  say her guest is? Like, And then I came back,
• 1:31:13
  like, were you fangirling so hard over Lila?
• 1:31:16
  And I was like, you know, she's so down to earth and humble.
• 1:31:20
  Like, I just felt like we were right when we met.
• 1:31:22
  I felt like we had been friends for so many years.
• 1:31:25
  I feel that way, too. But yeah, they're like, you're
• 1:31:28
  going back on the show and I'm like, Oh yeah.
• 1:31:31
  And so. And they don't.
• 1:31:32
  None of them have social media so.
• 1:31:34
  And I and I, I also love that too, because like my
• 1:31:36
  sister-in-law, for example, she's busy living her life and
• 1:31:38
  she's like, oh, I listened to, oh, I haven't gotten to that
• 1:31:40
  episode yet. I'm like, she's like, you make a
• 1:31:42
  lot of episodes. I'm like, sorry, you don't have
• 1:31:44
  to listen to them all. I have feel just.
• 1:31:46
  Listen to the ones that are helpful.
• 1:31:47
  Yeah, and I feel like, oh, I'm sorry I didn't keep up with
• 1:31:49
  your. I didn't see that video.
• 1:31:50
  I'm like good. That's OK.
• 1:31:52
  Don't Does that mean you're offline?
• 1:31:54
  Good. I I use my platform to tell
• 1:31:56
  their moms to get offline. I'm like.
• 1:31:59
  Your daily. Reminder yeah.
• 1:32:01
  It's like if I, I want to bring back my blog and be like, hey,
• 1:32:04
  I'll bring back my blog, I'll post videos there, I'll post
• 1:32:07
  articles and you can get like a weekly newsletter and like,
• 1:32:10
  let's go back to that. So you're just consuming what
• 1:32:12
  you want to consume that you find helpful.
• 1:32:14
  And when you don't find helpful, you don't have to check it.
• 1:32:16
  It's not just in your face. I want to do that.
• 1:32:17
  Yeah. I think I want to love that.
• 1:32:19
  You should totally do that. I wanted to read like a fun
• 1:32:21
  online magazine. It's like there's recipes,
• 1:32:24
  there's it's not just. That's a great idea.
• 1:32:27
  Yeah, I just let's go back to blogs.
• 1:32:29
  Yes, we can put videos on the blogs, you know, but make it
• 1:32:33
  like an online magazine where, you know, you know, that joy.
• 1:32:35
  Yeah, some, some girls aren't even going to know the joy of
• 1:32:37
  just like getting that magazine, like going on your bed, putting
• 1:32:40
  your CD in your CD player and just like wholesome content.
• 1:32:44
  And that's what you did. It wasn't like over stimulating,
• 1:32:48
  right? It was just.
• 1:32:49
  Well, I think that there's not to over beat the dead horse of
• 1:32:53
  the social media like conversation, but I think the
• 1:32:56
  short form content especially can lead to so much burnout in
• 1:33:00
  people. So making sure like not to never
• 1:33:03
  consume it, but making sure to balance it with like reading
• 1:33:06
  books, listening to podcasts and also just silence.
• 1:33:09
  People ask me like, well, what podcasts do you listen to?
• 1:33:12
  A. Lot I listen to yours and that's
• 1:33:14
  about it. I don't I'm also not in the car.
• 1:33:17
  I'm in a car but not long enough yeah, but not long enough to
• 1:33:21
  like listen to enough stuff and I have all these kids in the car
• 1:33:23
  like I'm not going to be able to get a good podcast and but yeah,
• 1:33:28
  the short form content it's I I started cutting down my social
• 1:33:32
  media so much lately. I had to get like hardcore
• 1:33:35
  blockers like hardcore blockers. This blocker is so hardcore.
• 1:33:38
  To protect yourself from over over using.
• 1:33:40
  Because I'm a, I'm a total addict.
• 1:33:42
  Yeah. Like I'm no better than anyone
• 1:33:44
  else. I'm a total addict.
• 1:33:45
  I don't have any more self-control.
• 1:33:46
  You get the dopamine bump. I have seen though, when I slow
• 1:33:50
  down, like my kids are walking, feel good hormones like cuddling
• 1:33:55
  with a child, playing with a child, being present, but it's a
• 1:33:58
  slower. It's not like the fast dopamine.
• 1:34:00
  It's the serotonin, I guess. I don't know.
• 1:34:02
  It's like a it's a different experience on the body and you
• 1:34:05
  have to kind of like receive it and be there for it.
• 1:34:07
  And if you're rushing or busy or like stressed, it's harder to
• 1:34:09
  receive it, but it's so much more.
• 1:34:11
  It is human, right? It's not drugs like social
• 1:34:15
  media, I mean haven't and it builds a relationship with your
• 1:34:18
  child which is what they desperately need for their in
• 1:34:20
  development. So anyways, I've been trying to
• 1:34:22
  like back with my sorry about my son and cuddling with him and
• 1:34:25
  just trying to really appreciate and enjoy my motherhood and slow
• 1:34:29
  down and do uninterrupted play time, even 10 minutes with my
• 1:34:33
  kids snuggling. Like I said, Gigi's still
• 1:34:36
  breastfeeding, enjoying the breastfeeding instead of like,
• 1:34:38
  oh, I'm going to rush through this or she wants us, I'm going
• 1:34:40
  to do it for her. But like, actually we're going
• 1:34:41
  to just bond here. I'm going to look at her.
• 1:34:42
  We're going to have this moment together.
• 1:34:45
  And I've found it just increases my quality of life so much.
• 1:34:49
  Oh yeah, so much. No matter what else is going on.
• 1:34:51
  Yeah. Absolutely.
• 1:34:52
  I get to enjoy motherhood. It's my job to enjoy motherhood.
• 1:34:55
  That's part of my job and just enjoy it.
• 1:34:57
  Haven't they been comparisons where the dopamine hits you get
• 1:35:01
  from just the scroll is like the same of like a drug in your
• 1:35:03
  brain? It's like more and you need more
• 1:35:05
  and more and that's. You so you're picking up your
• 1:35:06
  phone you're picking up and it's not like a deeper 1.
• 1:35:08
  I don't know how else to describe it, but it's.
• 1:35:10
  So surface. Leveled, yes.
• 1:35:12
  But I'm just as addicted as any other person.
• 1:35:15
  And you know, I, I made a video, it went semi viral, like a few
• 1:35:18
  million views. I don't know what's viral
• 1:35:20
  anymore. 1,000,000 views used to be it.
• 1:35:22
  But now I'm like, I don't know, I don't know.
• 1:35:26
  But in a way it did well and it was I stitched this woman.
• 1:35:31
  She's just, I thought it was really good.
• 1:35:32
  She's like, you're not overstimulated, you're just not
• 1:35:34
  getting as much dopamine hit as you want.
• 1:35:36
  And like I, I don't know, I forgot how she, she worded it
• 1:35:39
  really slow. You're not responding to the
• 1:35:41
  slow. So when your children, when your
• 1:35:43
  children need you, you. Like freak out and call it.
• 1:35:46
  Overstimulation, but really what's doing it is your phone or
• 1:35:49
  I don't know, she did it and so I I kind of jumped on bless you.
• 1:35:53
  I kind of just went off of that, but I will say once I figured
• 1:35:57
  out how to cut down my screen time, I don't have as much fog.
• 1:36:02
  How do you cut down your screen time?
• 1:36:04
  So I am very This took me years to get here by the way, because.
• 1:36:07
  As a content. Creator, you have like the
• 1:36:09
  double dopamine hit or whatever it is.
• 1:36:10
  It's like not only from me scrolling, but then I get
• 1:36:13
  feedback. Oh, I get like, oh, this is
• 1:36:15
  going viral, you know, And so you give it like, it's like a
• 1:36:17
  double whammy. And so it took me like years to
• 1:36:21
  get here. And honestly, if I'm going to be
• 1:36:22
  totally candid, my husband and I have a solid marriage.
• 1:36:25
  We are best friends. I love him.
• 1:36:26
  But social media was the hardest.
• 1:36:29
  Like me trying to learn how to navigate this, put a real, real
• 1:36:32
  tension in our in our relationship.
• 1:36:35
  And obviously divorce, like as Catholics, it's like it's not an
• 1:36:39
  option, but it was just so hard for him.
• 1:36:42
  And just like him just watching me, like I've seen videos of
• 1:36:45
  like moms, like, you know, they show these things like what,
• 1:36:48
  what two different perspectives, like what your day could look
• 1:36:51
  like as a Mama, what your day actually looks like when you're
• 1:36:53
  on your phone. And I'm like, that was me.
• 1:36:55
  Like my kids would be playing. I was this time and I would just
• 1:36:58
  be on my phone in front of them because I'm like, oh, they're
• 1:37:00
  playing independently. But then I'd be on my phone like
• 1:37:03
  missing out on this. And then they would start to
• 1:37:05
  fight and I'd be like, can I stop fighting a minute?
• 1:37:08
  Like, you know what I mean? And when I don't have my phone,
• 1:37:12
  I'm not as quick to anger. I'm not.
• 1:37:14
  So what I what I finally did was I, I downloaded whatever app you
• 1:37:17
  want to use. This is not sponsored, but I
• 1:37:20
  found one called Opal and, and they have some, some hardcore
• 1:37:26
  settings. And one was where you can't,
• 1:37:28
  even if you are in a session of time out from social media, you
• 1:37:32
  can't delete their app to like access your social media if you
• 1:37:35
  get desperate. So there's been times where my I
• 1:37:37
  need to override it. So you have to wait till your
• 1:37:40
  time is up like that. But that's a setting I.
• 1:37:43
  Chose you don't have to physical way to override it yeah.
• 1:37:45
  So that's a setting I chose. I love that it's very hard to
• 1:37:47
  talk. So my agent 1.
• 1:37:49
  Time was like hey I need to get. Insights on your last.
• 1:37:51
  Video for this brand. And they need it right now.
• 1:37:53
  And I was like, well, I got locked out like I can't.
• 1:37:56
  And so I was like, OK, well, let me just delete the app that
• 1:37:58
  locks me out and then I can access everything.
• 1:38:00
  But I had that that setting on and so I couldn't get hurt.
• 1:38:04
  It's awesome. But then it was like, and you're
• 1:38:06
  like, but that's work related. What did you do?
• 1:38:08
  And I was like, it's not a fire. Drill I'm learning.
• 1:38:10
  This about life in general. So much stuff is not a fire.
• 1:38:14
  It waited till the next day and everyone was fine.
• 1:38:17
  I have noticed that with work emergencies and I'm first guilty
• 1:38:20
  of like saying to my team. Like, we need this.
• 1:38:22
  We need to do this right now. But like, a lot of the time,
• 1:38:26
  yeah, if it waits a few hours, it's actually it's OK.
• 1:38:28
  It's going to be OK. I'm learning that.
• 1:38:30
  We didn't hear that here. I mean, you do.
• 1:38:36
  Have a kind of fast-paced content training.
• 1:38:38
  Yeah, you do. I mean, you do pump out a lot of
• 1:38:40
  episodes. I get.
• 1:38:42
  I do get staying. On schedule.
• 1:38:43
  But if something happens, yes, it'll all be OK.
• 1:38:46
  Yes, you know what I mean? You're not going to lose your
• 1:38:47
  viewers because you didn't get a podcast.
• 1:38:49
  Up on time, right? Like you.
• 1:38:51
  Know what I'm saying? I'm like, don't make a habit of
• 1:38:52
  it. You know you have you, you're
• 1:38:53
  running a business, right? Needs to run efficiently.
• 1:38:56
  But if something comes up, it's like, OK, what?
• 1:38:58
  What's what's the most at risk here?
• 1:39:00
  So this is the perfect time for us to say we have gone almost 2.
• 1:39:05
  Hours. Oh my gosh, really?
• 1:39:07
  Oh my gosh, it's great. Your screen time is up, guys.
• 1:39:11
  What are we? What are we didn't talk about?
• 1:39:13
  Well, I was. We we didn't do home schooling
• 1:39:14
  and and I'm expecting the Botox conversation.
• 1:39:17
  OK, really quick thumbs up or down in Botox.
• 1:39:19
  I don't. Know I really don't know my.
• 1:39:22
  My philosophy with this. Stuff is I, I don't know.
• 1:39:28
  I really don't know. I think it would be nice if we
• 1:39:31
  weren't trying to change our features necessarily, but I
• 1:39:35
  don't see the Botox and preserving them.
• 1:39:38
  Yeah, I think if it's done very tastefully, yeah.
• 1:39:41
  Oh yeah, it can augment. Instead of distort, Yeah.
• 1:39:45
  So I'm not, I am not personally opposed to Botox or fillers.
• 1:39:48
  I don't have them, I don't know if I'll ever get them, but I
• 1:39:51
  think that I don't have like a hard rule, like don't do it.
• 1:39:53
  I, I'm a little weirded out by them both, to be honest.
• 1:39:55
  So I will say that, but I don't think that they're morally
• 1:39:58
  wrong. I think you can use them in
• 1:39:59
  excess. You can use them for the wrong
• 1:40:00
  motivations. And I think they have to be, it
• 1:40:03
  all has to be like a part of this prudence decision making.
• 1:40:05
  And I do think our, our, our culture tends towards over
• 1:40:10
  reliance on these things and obsession, you know, with
• 1:40:12
  physical beauty. So I think that you, you want to
• 1:40:14
  be like salty, like as Christians, as Christian women
• 1:40:17
  are going to be salty and not like show up with all the.
• 1:40:20
  Botox basically, like there's some value to Christian women
• 1:40:23
  having beauty, but also a few wrinkles in my view.
• 1:40:27
  But again, that's not to say that all Botox is wrong or all
• 1:40:30
  fellows are wrong. I think it's you can't blanket
• 1:40:33
  it. You really can't blanket it.
• 1:40:34
  And I think that's the issue we're coming into.
• 1:40:36
  It's like, oh, well, if you do this, you automatically you have
• 1:40:39
  vanity as a false idol. And it's, I just don't think, I
• 1:40:41
  think it's way more nuanced. I think, again, it comes down to
• 1:40:43
  discernment. Like not everyone is on screen,
• 1:40:47
  right? Like maybe that's really easy
• 1:40:49
  for you to say, but how have you are you on screen with millions
• 1:40:52
  of people watching you? And granted, the millions of
• 1:40:54
  people watching you isn't the same effect as it was back in
• 1:40:57
  the day. When I say millions of people,
• 1:40:58
  not like, oh, like millions of people, but truly like if I look
• 1:41:01
  at my views, I mean, granted, it's it's in, out, it's in and
• 1:41:04
  out, but I don't know, would you be a little bit more
• 1:41:07
  self-conscious if you were on camera every day?
• 1:41:09
  Like, it's so it's just we all have these different walks and I
• 1:41:12
  just don't think we can blanket it as, yeah, OK, if you ever
• 1:41:17
  decide to get Botox, tell me. Beforehand.
• 1:41:21
  OK, I'll go with you. Maybe I'll do it.
• 1:41:25
  Maybe I'll just watch for the first time and learn from you
• 1:41:27
  and then we can talk about it later.
• 1:41:28
  I've learned a lot about it and it's like you, the things that
• 1:41:32
  we see online, it's like. Like bad Botox or bad filler,
• 1:41:36
  you know, with people who get it done where they're just really
• 1:41:39
  just like I just, they look a little just more rested really,
• 1:41:42
  you know. And so I do think I've seen
• 1:41:44
  fillers done in a very extreme, extremely tasteful way.
• 1:41:48
  I didn't even know they have it Beautiful look like they just
• 1:41:50
  were well rested and hydrated. Really.
• 1:41:53
  So yeah, I don't think there's anything I.
• 1:41:55
  Think we should again because fillers they're putting that
• 1:41:57
  haler on hyalonic acid in right, which is what you can use your
• 1:42:00
  skin care, but it just. Gets it under the skin, so it's
• 1:42:03
  more more full. Yeah, I know.
• 1:42:05
  There's now they're saying that it migrates, it never goes away,
• 1:42:07
  but I don't again. That's not my area expertise.
• 1:42:11
  And again, it just comes down to like, I don't think it's so
• 1:42:14
  blanketed of we're going to we're just everything's so
• 1:42:18
  extreme and we need to have a just a bit more nuance and we
• 1:42:21
  each have our own discernment. But I think what happens is when
• 1:42:23
  you are online and people will relate to you and the parasocial
• 1:42:27
  relationships are very real where, you know, they feel like
• 1:42:31
  they are your friend and, you know, you may have never met
• 1:42:33
  them, but that's good. Like it means you're doing your
• 1:42:35
  job right. If you.
• 1:42:36
  Well, your job, that connection helpful.
• 1:42:39
  Yeah. So, but they'll get disappointed
• 1:42:40
  if you. Share a view that they.
• 1:42:42
  Don't or And so that's when it starts to come in with like the
• 1:42:46
  shaming, but it's just really like, I just think it's
• 1:42:49
  different walks of life, like, OK, so we're neutral.
• 1:42:54
  I'm pretty neutral. Yeah, I I mean both extremes IA
• 1:42:56
  part. Of me does be like this is part.
• 1:42:58
  Of like the machine where we're just like, women can never get a
• 1:43:03
  break. Like how dare we age, you know?
• 1:43:05
  Like, are we, are we giving into the machine of this?
• 1:43:07
  Like there is that part of me too.
• 1:43:09
  That's like, what if we all just stop doing this?
• 1:43:12
  Though I do like the term age gracefully, but what does that
• 1:43:16
  mean? Now I think does that.
• 1:43:18
  Mean. Anything.
• 1:43:19
  Yeah, and that's where I really respect people who take a.
• 1:43:21
  Line in the sand and say I'm not going to do fillers.
• 1:43:23
  I'm not going to do PEM docs. I'm not going to do and even
• 1:43:25
  that Lady who was mad at you about the micro needling because
• 1:43:28
  they think look, my job because the culture is going to this
• 1:43:31
  extreme. So my job is to hold the line on
• 1:43:33
  this over here so that we don't start vacillating this
• 1:43:36
  direction. I think that can have its
• 1:43:38
  values. Somebody might feel called that,
• 1:43:40
  but you also have to be careful not to react away out of fear.
• 1:43:45
  And it has to really be based on.
• 1:43:46
  Also objectively understanding this is.
• 1:43:48
  Morally. Objectively morally wrong or
• 1:43:51
  this is actually not an objective moral evil.
• 1:43:54
  Like this is something that is prudential and being creating
• 1:43:57
  space for that because throughout time and space, like
• 1:43:59
  I mean, back in the 1700s, men used to wear wigs, high heels
• 1:44:02
  and powder their faces. So true.
• 1:44:04
  And that was seen as normal. Today we would say no.
• 1:44:06
  You're like you're trying to cross dress.
• 1:44:08
  And that's wrong. You shouldn't do that, and I
• 1:44:10
  think we'd be right to say that with the natural context is
• 1:44:12
  different. That's so true.
• 1:44:13
  That's so true. I guess where's the line though?
• 1:44:15
  Like dyeing your hair? Is that aging?
• 1:44:17
  You know what I mean? So that's like, I think when we
• 1:44:18
  try to, like, define it too much and rather than just discern,
• 1:44:21
  like, right. Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:44:24
  Well, I think you look beautiful.
• 1:44:25
  I think you do too. I You're aging gracefully in my
• 1:44:27
  book. Well, I my husband did say he's
• 1:44:30
  like oh. Yeah, oh, the weight.
• 1:44:31
  Loss. And can I get back to that
• 1:44:32
  really quickly? I gained the weight with my
• 1:44:35
  fourth. I was like immersed in social
• 1:44:36
  media. I wasn't taking care of myself.
• 1:44:39
  And so then and then I got pregnant with #5I mean, that's
• 1:44:41
  my whole conviction story, right?
• 1:44:43
  Like I had the 4th pregnant guys.
• 1:44:45
  Yes, yeah. And then I had the 5th like I
• 1:44:47
  don't know, 3-4 months later after he was born.
• 1:44:49
  And I mean, I thought. I was done at 4 and so now I'm
• 1:44:52
  freaking out. But anyway, so I had 4-5 and
• 1:44:54
  six, I was 333435 S back-to-back.
• 1:44:58
  So really just like even no time to lose that weight, you know,
• 1:45:03
  so then after baby number six and once the, you know, I have
• 1:45:06
  established breastfeeding, I think I was like 7 months
• 1:45:08
  postpartum, I was like, OK, I'm going to get back to it.
• 1:45:11
  And I started losing the weight like quickly.
• 1:45:13
  And again, I think this comes down to genetics, like just how
• 1:45:14
  it's supposed to be built. And I lost like 25 lbs out of
• 1:45:17
  the 50. I was like, yes, like 20-5 more
• 1:45:21
  pounds to go. And then I'll be by the way,
• 1:45:24
  really quickly when I say this, people think like we were using
• 1:45:26
  NFP to contracept. I've used NFP once I got
• 1:45:29
  pregnant doing the Marquette method.
• 1:45:30
  That's number five. And it was good that I did
• 1:45:32
  because it was my whole conviction story.
• 1:45:34
  So when I say like, oh, I'm not going to get pregnant until I
• 1:45:36
  lose the weight, that's just me being like in La La land about
• 1:45:40
  it. I wasn't, we weren't doing any
• 1:45:41
  methods. I wasn't tracking.
• 1:45:42
  We were open to life every time we engaged in the marital act.
• 1:45:47
  So I don't want that to be mistaken, but I was like telling
• 1:45:50
  my husband I was like, oh, it'd be so great if I could just not
• 1:45:52
  get pregnant until I lose this weight, you know?
• 1:45:54
  And we weren't doing anything to prevent pregnancy, obviously.
• 1:45:58
  And then of course, I get pregnant and I'm like halfway to
• 1:46:01
  my, to my weight, right? Then I'm like, and I was so
• 1:46:04
  happy when I found I was pregnant, obviously.
• 1:46:06
  But then I was like, I was on my way to be skinny.
• 1:46:09
  I got like, sorry, I know that's not the politically correct
• 1:46:14
  term, but I am a product of the early 2000s.
• 1:46:16
  OK, So, and I was just like, man, I'm like, I was so close.
• 1:46:20
  And, you know, vanity is something I struggle with and
• 1:46:23
  that's why I struggle. It's like, well, how far can I
• 1:46:24
  go? Because it's always been a
• 1:46:25
  struggle of mine. And I was like, man, I was going
• 1:46:29
  to lose weight. And I was thinking about maybe
• 1:46:30
  get like Botox just to feel like like a little bit more alert.
• 1:46:33
  And I was thinking about things and my husband's like, maybe
• 1:46:35
  God's just going to keep making sure you're pregnant until you
• 1:46:37
  can like get a grip on your vanity or something.
• 1:46:39
  Like he didn't mean it judge mentally, but it was just like,
• 1:46:42
  it's an interesting timing, you know, because I was in the
• 1:46:44
  seizure like, Oh, I'm getting thinner.
• 1:46:46
  Maybe I'll go to this spa and get this, this done like things
• 1:46:49
  I've never gotten done before. And I was entertaining it.
• 1:46:52
  And he's like, and you, as you said earlier, it was like, isn't
• 1:46:56
  it funny? Like when you have kids like you
• 1:46:57
  just when you're pregnant, it all goes on pause.
• 1:47:01
  You can't do that stuff. And so, pardon me, is like, Oh,
• 1:47:03
  I would you wonder if like this kind of got subtle way of like,
• 1:47:06
  because you know, you, you don't want to, you don't want to make
• 1:47:09
  false idols of these things. So you pray about it.
• 1:47:10
  Like, you know, Lord, like make sure I'm doing the right thing
• 1:47:12
  and not saying he gave me a baby.
• 1:47:14
  So I just wouldn't focus on my vanity.
• 1:47:16
  But the timing of it all just was like it, it forces you to
• 1:47:20
  put things in perspective, right?
• 1:47:22
  That's such a beautiful things in perspective.
• 1:47:24
  That's such a beautiful thing to to share.
• 1:47:27
  And it it actually helps me even listening to it.
• 1:47:29
  Because I'm in a season where I'm I want to be pregnant.
• 1:47:32
  I might there's a chance I'm pregnant right now.
• 1:47:34
  I don't know, but I'm not pregnant at Gigi's 22 months and
• 1:47:37
  you're still nursing a lot and I'm still nursing, but like this
• 1:47:39
  is my largest gap now and so there's.
• 1:47:41
  Always the concern of like well. What does this mean?
• 1:47:43
  Why aren't I pregnant yet? And I try to just surrender
• 1:47:45
  those thoughts because it's gonna.
• 1:47:47
  It's like overkill. I have three beautiful kids like
• 1:47:49
  I need to be grateful, but I feel like the Lord is showing me
• 1:47:52
  to really enjoy and be grateful for and invest in all the
• 1:47:57
  beautiful things he's given me my kids first and foremost, my
• 1:48:01
  the three children I have right and not to get like greedy in a
• 1:48:04
  way of like, well, I want to I would like to have at least six
• 1:48:07
  kids. I'd like to do this and the Lord
• 1:48:09
  like not the Lord doesn't promise us tomorrow like we
• 1:48:11
  don't know heaven is our home, right.
• 1:48:14
  So this is just so it my little lesson is almost like an inverse
• 1:48:18
  of of yours to some degree where I'm like, well, I just I have a
• 1:48:22
  window, you know, of time that I'm going to be able to have
• 1:48:25
  kids. I'd like to be able to have as
• 1:48:26
  many as I can. But at the same time I got till
• 1:48:29
  49. Remember I've got till 49 so
• 1:48:31
  maybe I'll get to 8 but like but but my identity.
• 1:48:33
  Is not in how many? Kids I have.
• 1:48:35
  Oh yeah. But also, I was actually
• 1:48:37
  thinking about this because when I told you I was pregnant with
• 1:48:39
  my seventh, it was. We were.
• 1:48:41
  We were together with our husbands and I go to your
• 1:48:44
  husband. We need to get on it.
• 1:48:46
  I told my husband that was not nice to him.
• 1:48:49
  You could cut that out. If you want.
• 1:48:51
  I thought it was cute, I thought.
• 1:48:52
  It was cute. Like you, you're just no he.
• 1:48:54
  Knows my husband knows you guys are so open to life and I think
• 1:48:56
  it's really cute because I've that's something I've.
• 1:48:58
  Struggled with like to this day honestly.
• 1:49:00
  I'm still like, you know, like, like when you're saying like I
• 1:49:02
  have three, I'm like happy, enjoy that, like, you know, and
• 1:49:06
  so obviously they come and I'm, I don't regret it, but it is
• 1:49:09
  still like a struggle. You know, my body's been through
• 1:49:11
  a lot anyways, but I was thinking about you with that.
• 1:49:13
  And Lila, you do amazing work, amazing work.
• 1:49:18
  And you are vital to the culture and you are a huge public
• 1:49:22
  figure. And I know, I know it's probably
• 1:49:24
  awkward for you because you're so humble, but like, we need
• 1:49:28
  you. And I don't know what God's plan
• 1:49:30
  is for you is it is if it's is so happening, I'm never going to
• 1:49:33
  have another baby. You probably will.
• 1:49:35
  You probably will. You're young, you're healthy.
• 1:49:37
  Like, there's no reason why you wouldn't.
• 1:49:38
  I'm talking more about timing. I'm not saying like the Lord's
• 1:49:41
  timing is. Yeah.
• 1:49:41
  And like, you're venturing on some new things right now
• 1:49:44
  already. You know, you, you, you're
• 1:49:45
  awesome. Big things in the work.
• 1:49:47
  So having kids is obviously so important, but the work you're
• 1:49:52
  doing so important too. And like God, and we all know
• 1:49:55
  this, God's timing is perfect. But like, you are doing such
• 1:49:58
  amazing, amazing work. And I think it's surrendering
• 1:50:02
  that, like realizing like, Hey, God's giving me these platforms,
• 1:50:04
  this voice, you know, this influence.
• 1:50:07
  And he maybe this is the season where he's wanting you to focus
• 1:50:10
  on some some of that that area more right now, you know, and
• 1:50:13
  get some of these things in motion.
• 1:50:14
  So then when you do get pregnant, it's like in motion
• 1:50:16
  and you have your team. And I have thought that like the
• 1:50:18
  Lord, his timing is perfect. My husband and I are obviously
• 1:50:21
  very open to life. Everything else and we love each
• 1:50:23
  other a lot, so we'll just see what happens.
• 1:50:25
  But I have and I did go and like get my blood done and like met
• 1:50:28
  with Doctor Lauren Rubal, The best of the best to just check
• 1:50:31
  myself. Like are we doing?
• 1:50:32
  And everything's healthy, everything's great.
• 1:50:34
  But. And so the Lord gives life.
• 1:50:36
  The Lord is the giver and the taker of life.
• 1:50:38
  He knows all things right. And so I have thought, well,
• 1:50:41
  maybe the Lord is allowing this for me to just, yeah, get extra
• 1:50:44
  hours in with work. Some of these projects we're
• 1:50:46
  working on that are really beautiful.
• 1:50:48
  But I also am like scared of that thought because I don't
• 1:50:50
  want to like children are objectively more important than
• 1:50:54
  any other Apostolic work, like having like saying yes to life.
• 1:50:58
  But I am saying yes to life. And the Lord has at this time,
• 1:51:02
  there's no baby. And again, Gigi's only 22
• 1:51:04
  months. I don't want to sound like
• 1:51:05
  people, people who struggle with infertility are like, Lila, get
• 1:51:07
  over yourself right now. But yeah, my mom had eight kids.
• 1:51:11
  That's like the norm in our family.
• 1:51:13
  Like, you know, my other siblings, like my brother Paul,
• 1:51:17
  who's going to come on the show, just his youngest is only a
• 1:51:21
  month older than my youngest and his.
• 1:51:23
  Wife's. Already on baby #3 they had
• 1:51:26
  Irish twins twice, right? So there's that's the
• 1:51:29
  environment I'm on where like, yes to life, yes to life, but
• 1:51:32
  it's a moment of surrender. It's.
• 1:51:35
  In the moment. Of surrender and really
• 1:51:36
  realizing, I mean as someone. With your businesses, you are in
• 1:51:41
  control of a lot of things. And so maybe this is your moment
• 1:51:43
  of like, I don't control this. Yeah.
• 1:51:46
  And even though you know that, you know that.
• 1:51:48
  And also to look. At my 3 like what?
• 1:51:50
  If the Lord only has these three for us, our family, and we have
• 1:51:53
  one in. Heaven, So what if that's our
• 1:51:54
  family and the Lord doesn't have more and I'm like, well, then I
• 1:51:56
  can adopt and then I'm gonna I wanted we wanted to Foster and
• 1:51:59
  adopt and maybe that's going to be part of our story next.
• 1:52:01
  And but actually it's more be grateful for what God has given
• 1:52:05
  and be faithful because could I be a better mother to my 3 kids?
• 1:52:08
  Yes. Could I be more present?
• 1:52:10
  Yes. Could I be more intentional in
• 1:52:13
  my mothering? Yes.
• 1:52:14
  Could I be a better daughter of God and spend more time in
• 1:52:16
  prayer? Yeah.
• 1:52:16
  So like there's plenty to do in my life right now to love more.
• 1:52:21
  And that's what I like. That's the lesson or part of the
• 1:52:23
  lesson, anyways. Yeah.
• 1:52:25
  I mean, we, we don't know, but I think, yeah, this I'm a huge, a
• 1:52:28
  huge thing I say on my. Channels is like it all comes in
• 1:52:31
  seasons and this is this is a season for maybe it's a season
• 1:52:35
  for growth for these amazing things that you're doing to
• 1:52:37
  help, to help families, to help the culture, you know, and
• 1:52:41
  that's the season. And then have another season and
• 1:52:44
  maybe it'll be the season of like double Irish twins, you
• 1:52:47
  know, and all this stuff is now running and going, you know, so
• 1:52:50
  it's just it's hard. It's hard to surrender.
• 1:52:52
  Even when we know to surrender, even when we know it's, it's all
• 1:52:56
  in God's timing. Even though we know his timing
• 1:52:58
  is perfect, it is still so hard to it's like, OK, well, I'm
• 1:53:02
  doing everything you're telling me to.
• 1:53:03
  I'm open to life. I'm doing this like what what's
• 1:53:05
  going on? So I get it.
• 1:53:08
  If we do an interview, I would love to, like, know, like, how
• 1:53:10
  you've navigated through all your controversies through
• 1:53:13
  social media, like how you've stayed strong in this because
• 1:53:16
  through this pregnancy, I've been so emotional.
• 1:53:19
  Yeah, I've been so emotional. And, like, lately I was just
• 1:53:21
  like, I have been getting so much crap for not speaking on
• 1:53:24
  whatever I'm supposed to be speaking on.
• 1:53:26
  Just ignore it. Yeah.
• 1:53:27
  And it was like, I've just been so emotional.
• 1:53:30
  I. Almost like, didn't we want to
• 1:53:31
  come on today? You.
• 1:53:33
  Didn't Christine, you crushed it?
• 1:53:35
  But so I was like, I would be good if I could talk.
• 1:53:37
  To Lila, I'm like, how do you navigate?
• 1:53:38
  All this and because like you said, there's fruit coming from
• 1:53:42
  it and oh, but you know what got me through it?
• 1:53:44
  Like the gospel reads at Mass on Sunday.
• 1:53:47
  It was all about being the light and the salt.
• 1:53:49
  And I go back to this homily, my priesthood.
• 1:53:52
  And he was saying that there was, I don't know if it's an
• 1:53:54
  apostle. I don't know.
• 1:53:55
  This is like kind of all my faith journey and he was going
• 1:53:59
  from town to town. It's writing the gospel and just
• 1:54:01
  getting like criticized and thrown out and hurt and be.
• 1:54:04
  And he's like God, can I just stay home and worship you?
• 1:54:08
  I'll just worship you all my days.
• 1:54:09
  And he's like, no, that's not what I have called for you.
• 1:54:11
  And I'm like, sometimes I'm like God, like I'll just serve my
• 1:54:14
  family, not just serve. It's, it's amazing.
• 1:54:16
  It's an honor to serve your family.
• 1:54:17
  But like, can I can, I can I just focus on this?
• 1:54:21
  Like I have a lot of kids. I homeschool.
• 1:54:23
  Like, like, let me just focus on this.
• 1:54:26
  And I just the Lord has you in the right place.
• 1:54:28
  You need to show them. You need to show the beauty of
• 1:54:31
  like family. And and I think the fact that I.
• 1:54:33
  Had this whole secular life can can help because it's not like I
• 1:54:38
  was just like oh this is how it is and this is I've always
• 1:54:41
  believed this you know like I've I've been on the other side and
• 1:54:44
  so but yeah so there's the mass readings I got me here I was
• 1:54:47
  like OK thank you for coming no but I love sweetie time with you
• 1:54:50
  love to I love sweetie time with you and with a hug you're the
• 1:54:53
  best thank you so much Chrissy Oh thank you so much for.
• 1:54:56
  Having me a big thank you to our channel partner EWTNEWTN is the.
• 1:55:02
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• 1:55:04
  millions of people every single day with the beautiful truth of
• 1:55:08
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• 1:55:10
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