Latest / Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community / Listening That Changes Lives | A Conversation with Laurie

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Listening That Changes Lives | A Conversation with Laurie · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

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What does it look like when ordinary kindness becomes a lifeline
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in the grocery aisle or at work? Or with a neighbor who
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doesn't really know how to receive it? And what happens when one
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person decides to show up with just a little more gentleness than
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the world expects? Hi, I'm Shannon
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Steves, and this is Neighborly. Each conversation
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around this table reminds us that care doesn't have to be perfect
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to be powerful. It just has to be real. And today
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you're going to meet someone who lives that out in the most natural,
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radiant way. Lori has this gift of making people
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feel seen. Whether she's praying with someone on the phone at work,
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offering a hug that feels like it came right from Jesus, or
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mowing the strip of grass outside an elderly neighbor's home just
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because it needed to be done, she carries hope into the
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everyday moments that most of us rush past.
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Every one of us has a story about someone who showed up when it mattered
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most. I'm Johan, and this is Neighbourly, a
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podcast about the ordinary ways people show extraordinary care.
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Every other week, Shannon Steeves sits down with someone who's
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lived that out. Real stories of faith, kindness,
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and community in action. So grab your coffee and let's
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join Shannon at the table.
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Lori, thank you so much for being here. I
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have just been looking forward to this conversation all week. Honestly,
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I'm really grateful to call you a friend. You are someone
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that just feels like family, and I don't think I'm the only one who would
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say that. To let our listeners know, Lori and I
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first met at our church, and ever since then, you've just
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been such a blessing to me. You have a way of making people feel
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seen and cared for. And I'm just excited today to talk about
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that and for our listeners, hopefully, to be inspired to live
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that out in their own lives. So thanks for joining me today.
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Oh, thank you for asking me. Well, we always get started with the
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same question. Whenever I interview someone growing up or
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just throughout life who has been a neighbor
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that you will never forget. I've lived in
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many, many different places, and I come from a
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rather diverse background. Lots of struggles
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and stuff. So I had a lot of neighbors, moved around a lot. The
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neighbor that most stands out in my mind, she was
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a old Ukrainian lady and she was very
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abrupt, let's say. And I believe that if
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everybody was just this much nicer in their life towards other people,
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what a better world it would be like. Don't get angry at the
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people you know that are maybe behind you, bumping you with the cart in
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Costco or something. But if just. You can just take a breath,
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relax and move on. She was a very
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old and very big woman, and
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she wouldn't mow her lawn. And I love mowing lawns.
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And so I used to start mowing by the
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sidewalk and around her outside of her
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yard. I never went inside, but I'd mow her outside. And she came out and
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she'd just yell at me, what are you doing?
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I would say, I'm just helping you, Mary. I'm just helping you.
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And she'd be so grumpy, and she'd go back in, slam
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the door. And it took me about three mo's.
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And she'd come out and she'd go, you want some strawberries? Because
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she had this massive garden in the back. And
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it went on like that for. We lived by her for about two,
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three summers. And she's passed now, but she
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came out at the end of that one summer. And she goes, I
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don't know why you do this for me. And I said, because
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you need it. You need some help, and I'm willing to help
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you. And she goes, you didn't need to.
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I says, no, I didn't, but I wanted to.
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And she goes, well, I thank you. And she shoved some strawberries and
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some pierogies, because she used to make these amazing,
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real Ukrainian pierogies. And she shoved them into my hand and
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walk away, you know, Never saw her outside. She did
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all her gardening in the evening. But it just
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impacted me because a lot of times, people don't
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know how to accept without feeling that
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they have to repay. Sometimes I feel
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that if everybody just did this much more
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willingly, it would change the world. Yeah. Yeah. If
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you see a need and if you have the ability to
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fill that need, do you see somebody needing something? It's like
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in Matthew, where, you know, saw I was naked and
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you gave me clothes. You saw I was hungry, you fed me. That's a need.
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Somebody that can't do something, that needs it, and
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you can do it, but don't. Well, shame on you. Like, where
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does this come from for you? You know, that heart to just
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care? You said, you know, you talked about Matthew. Is there more to that for
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you? Of, like, why? I come from
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a childhood where we didn't have
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timeouts or soft landings. Shall I say, it
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was. It was very harsh and very.
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It was disturbing by most people's standards. And
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I've always. I've never ever
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remembered a time when I didn't have that
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I need to help. I don't know. God had his hand on
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me. He created me for a reason. I don't always know the reason,
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but I know there's a reason. And I really believe that he
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just instilled that. I believe it's a gift.
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I believe that God has given me a gift to love people.
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And it doesn't matter who you are, everybody
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needs a little bit extra loving. Yeah, that's beautiful.
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And you just, you do it so. So naturally just connecting
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with people. I get to see it every Sunday. And
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I believe that also your work experience over life has kind
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of given you a front row seat to connecting with people. Can you share
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a little bit about that? I don't know totally your whole story when it comes
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to that. But I've heard pieces. I've been in the customer
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service all my life. And I do believe that's my strong
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point because I listen. People just want to be
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heard. And one time my boss
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said, he says you're like the human bandaid. He said, if ever I have a
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problem with a customer, I just transfer them to you and you just
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make it okay. And I went, that's because I listen. And I actually
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listen. Some people, you listen to react
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or to reply. You form that reply before
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you've actually heard the whole story. And I actually,
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I believe that God has given that
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to me, that the Holy Spirit will touch people. And the
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greatest thing it was two years ago.
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I worked with this young fellow. His name was Josh. He
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was one of our technicians. And whenever we would
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have a meeting with everybody in there, I would always
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pray. If you don't acknowledge me in public, if you're
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ashamed of me, I'll be ashamed of you. That whole. It's a lot of Bible
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learning. I'm going to jump back now a
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little bit. Sure. My mom told me
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my very first outing after I got out of the hospital, she brought me to
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Sunday School. So I am steeped
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in religion, and
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that religion became a relationship a number of years
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ago. But I've always been taught it from the earliest
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day. So a lot of the Bible verses that I grew up
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learning or the Bible stories that I grew up learning, I've
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always stuck with. No matter when I've strayed from God,
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I have not always made him happy. I'm pretty sure
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about that. But he's forgiven me and he's a great God.
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Anyways, now bringing back to Josh. And so I prayed before we
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ate and I. I don't like saying bad words.
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And when he left the end of his term, he
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wrote me a long note and he said,
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laurie, he thanked me for being such a strong
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witness. And even just by doing the little things like praying before
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I ate, even when nobody else prayed. And
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he just said how much I had helped him when
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he was going through a rough patch. He knew that whenever he
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would come in, he could talk to me and I would encourage
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him because he was just a young Christian. He was going to Bible
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school. That's why he was leaving at the end of his term. He
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was starting his schooling and I didn't even
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realize it. I did not realize that
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people were watching and people are always watching,
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so it doesn't matter. I really believe it has to be
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sincere that the things that you do and the things that you say,
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they'll make a difference. It's just that you need to be willing
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to be used. And so I still pray for that boy.
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And I believe God's going to do great things
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through him. He's going to have an awesome testimony.
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And just because of the things that he would tell me, you know, So
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I don't know, I think all my life I've just. How
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does my, my grandson, Amy, he
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says, you hugged from the heart. And I do. When I
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wrap my arms around you, I just want you to feel Jesus. Wow.
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I had surgery earlier this year and when I. They roll you into
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the surgery room and, and my doctor came and he says, so, Laurie, how are
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you doing? And I said, listen, I got one thing to say to you. And
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he goes, what's that? And I said, when you open me up, take a peek
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and see if you can see Jesus in there. And he burst out
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laughing and he said,
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what? And I said, I want to be so full of Jesus
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that whenever you open me up, you see Jesus in there.
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And he started laughing and the nurse looked at me and tears
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started coming down. She's. What an awesome thought.
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And so. No, but when I, when I hug you and when I tell you
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and Shannon and you know, you are very special to me,
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when I hug you, it's, it's. I, I just, I just love you.
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Yeah. People, I think, underestimate those little
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things, you know, like you and I, we don't get to spend
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day to day life together. But, but every time you hug
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me, you're right, I feel that warmth and that care.
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And you know, you don't even have to say a lot
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to feel that when you say that you're praying for me. I
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know that you are. And that means so Much. And I think about
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that colleague of yours, Josh, that he. He
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knew you were a safe place and that whenever you. You'd come
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together as staff and. And you'd pray, that that was
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setting really, I think, either a tone or a
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culture that other people noticed that that's the kind of person
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you are and that you're always going to be a safe place for other people.
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That's so beautiful. You know, you mentioned customer service, and so I
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think about you probably got a little bit of a window into
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people's lives in different ways. Are there any
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stories that come to mind of. I guess maybe people that you just
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remember getting to chat with and interact with?
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Lots. Being in customer service and being on the
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phone all the time. There were some people that would
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call me, and when I first got to know them over
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the phone, it was just general because, you know, hi, I'm
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calling about this and just wondering if you'd be interested in doing
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that. And they'd say, you know what? I'm having a really bad time now, and
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I don't think I can. And I go, well, what's going on? And it would
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lead into it. And I would have so many people
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calling me sometimes just to say, lori, could you pray for me?
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And right there on the phone, I would pray for them.
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And I was so touched because there were people that would
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call just to talk, just to say, hi, Lori,
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I'm having a really bad day. And I know that our calls were
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recorded and I don't know what head office. I was just going to ask,
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weren't they recorded? You're so bold. I love
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it. Yep. And they would call
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me and they'd say, lori, I'm having a bad day. I had
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to talk to somebody happy. And I said, awesome. I said, so who
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are you calling? And she said, you.
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Oh, me? And then we'd start laughing and we'd talk,
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and just some of the things that I
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could pray for, like, there was a couple of customers that were going
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through cancer, and we'd pray, and I'd call and follow up with
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them, send them emails, and. And the one customer,
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her husband was going through a really hard time. And she
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said, lori, I don't know how you do it, but every time
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you do, you call me at the right moment. And I said, I
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really, honestly believe that that's God. I really do. I said, I believe that
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that is God telling you you're not forgotten.
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Because sometimes walking through cancer or walking through people
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say, oh, I know what you're feeling. And unless they've actually
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walked the walk, they don't know. And so they really just
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need somebody to say, hey, I'm praying for you. I don't know how you're feeling
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today, but I just want you to know that I'm asking God for you to.
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For your strength today. I'm asking him to
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protect you, give you by the Holy
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Spirit and by his grace, just give you that extra little
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heart hug and know you're not forgotten. And so
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I had my whole front of my desk. I had the little
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sticky notes. I'd have their. Just their first name, because I knew
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all of their names and accounts numbers and phone numbers, right? And
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whenever I would feel drawn of a confession, I have a
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little book that I carry with me of the people that I pray for, and
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their names are in there. And whenever I feel. That's like my prayer board,
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but it's my prayer book, I guess. And I just. Whenever God tells me, you
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know, what brings me to a specific name, I'll be
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honest. You're on my. You're in my book. Oh, I feel so
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blessed. Wow. I made it in the
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book. What an honor. That's so humbling.
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Wow. You said something earlier, you know, because you're
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talking about all these different conversations that you've had with people and
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customer service. You know, you're working in a business, right? And so it's not
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like, you know, you're maybe in a natural spot to just
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have these more deep conversations. But it sounded like it
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started with a question. You. You would ask people what's going on?
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And I think that's really important because,
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I mean, personally, sometimes I might be intimidated of,
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you know, wanting to just care about someone, but maybe
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not knowing where to start. And I think that
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question is the place to start. It's so simple. What's
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going on in my other favorite. My other favorite line is,
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what can I do to help? How can I help? Yeah, well, you
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can't. There must be something. What can I do? How can I help?
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And it's usually just, I'll pray. Wow.
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That's all. How have you learned to,
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you know. Cause it's such a. Maybe a delicate thing sometimes, of not
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wanting to pry or press, you know, too much into someone's life,
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but wanting to really show them that you. You mean it when you're asking,
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how can I help? How have you learned to, I guess, discern
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when to really kind of dive deeper with a person and when
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to maybe hold back? Quite literally, when I ask
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Jesus into my Heart. When my heart starts going
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boom, boom, boom, I know it's time to move. I feel like that's the. The
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Holy Spirit saying, now go, now go.
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And sometimes it's just. I don't know, I can hear something
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in their voice, and it just. It gets
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me. It just gets my heart right there, and it
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just. My heart just hurts for them. There have
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been times, and I'm going to be
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brutally honest here, when I have felt the Holy Spirit
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push a little bit and I'm. I don't feel like I'm ready or
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I don't feel like I should, or I don't feel like
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I've been, you know, like. Didn't read my Bible today? Oh,
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I. I didn't. You know, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. And it's not
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what I didn't do, it's what Jesus did.
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Wow. And so I'll have to
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answer for those parts, probably. And.
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But I try. I really try. And I feel like the older I get,
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the freer I become, because there is a truth
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in freedom and getting older because you
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realize that you've got way more ustas than
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gunas. I used to do that, but I'm gonna do
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this, you know, so now is the time to just
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go. Do be used.
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Yeah. That's so good. I think we can get really caught up
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in what holds us back. Those feelings or
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lies, really, of not being enough or, you know, I'm too new
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of a Christian, or I just. I don't know, you know, what to say.
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And so we, you know, stay back. But I think people
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actually need what we have because like you said,
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I think before we started recording, you talked about hope, that
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actually we carry hope. I just, you know, in sharing
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these stories, I really want people to understand that they have
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something to give that other people need.
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All that I hope is that
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people see Jesus in me. I hope that
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Jesus is so apparent, and I don't want
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to get emotional, but I am that they actually.
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They don't see this. They don't see me, but they see
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what Jesus wants them to see and what. What Jesus is and
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what he means to me. And
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everybody's going to have lots of mistakes and lots of
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regrets and lots of, oh, I wished I would have done that differently.
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But every time we realize that, I really believe that we can.
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We have hope that we can do it better. We have hope.
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As long as I have breath in me, I have hope. And
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there's a chance for Jesus to fix what's
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broken in me and use it
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to help somebody else. That's my hope that
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he will shine through me. Yeah. And how
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kind of God that he wants to use us. Right.
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He doesn't have to. I think I talked about
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this on our last episode with someone that he invites us
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into the kingdom building work in moments like this,
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you know, that hope that we have in him, he's like, okay, now go
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do something with it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
19:58
You know, just kind of going back. One last question about work and that
20:02
experience. What have those years or what have these years
20:06
teach you about what people need when they're having a hard moment or
20:09
a heavy day? I think everybody is a little
20:13
bit self conscious and a little bit unsure and a little bit
20:17
alone. And I think it doesn't matter
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who you are, how popular, how
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unpopular. I think they just need to feel that
20:30
somebody cares about them enough to say something. And whether
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it's a kind word, whether it's a smile, whether it's a hug,
20:37
whether it's a phone call, you can change the world with a
20:41
smile. You could, you could change everything with just a.
20:45
That much more kindness, just a
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little bit more. You know, if we all just lost
20:53
the focus on our day to day
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struggles and, and challenges and
21:00
just looked outside of our immediate
21:03
trouble, it doesn't even have to be trouble, I guess, but just look past
21:07
that and saw somebody else. And if you see somebody that
21:11
needs something, if you just reached out.
21:16
Yeah. You talked a lot about before this listening
21:21
and practically just to kind of, I think, help people take
21:24
this and really live it out. You talked about listening to people.
21:29
Listening to understand, not just to respond. Can you just give
21:32
some practical tips when it comes to listening to people? What does that look
21:36
like for you? Focus on actually
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what they're saying. Focus on looking at them.
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How important do you feel when somebody looks at
21:48
you and looks at your eyes and looks at you,
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they're not texting or. Yeah. Huh? What? Oh,
21:55
yeah, yeah. You know, like. And I know that when I was
21:59
in customer service, face to face
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people, you can do that on the phone. It's just
22:06
listening or it can be. Anyway, just, just
22:10
be quiet and listen. Hear what they're
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saying and don't listen to
22:18
answer because God will give you the answer. God will give you the
22:21
answer all the time. And sometimes it's just a quietness that they
22:25
just need to vent. They just. And you don't need to say anything. You
22:29
don't have to have words of wisdom every time you listen. You just
22:33
have to listen. And then if you're going to pray
22:37
for them, pray for them. If you tell them you're going to pray, pray.
22:41
And I took that to heart because there was a lot of times people would
22:44
call me and I just. I mean, I'm sitting in the front of the office
22:47
and there's people around me. I'm sitting like 20ft away from
22:51
the manager, and I just say, well, can I pray
22:54
for you? And they'd say, yeah,
22:58
sure. And I'd start praying. And they go, oh, you meant now?
23:04
Yeah, yeah, I meant now. Because. And it doesn't have to be this
23:07
long, flowery, beautiful prayer. That's.
23:11
It just needs to. God, you know this person's hurting. You know
23:15
this person's going through this struggle. God, I just pray that you would be
23:19
with them. Just help them. Show them
23:24
your beautiful face, show them your love. And
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I just want to be that. That tool God can use to
23:31
show somebody love. Help if I can.
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I could talk to you forever, I think.
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But before we finish, is there anything that you want to
23:44
share or feel led to share that I haven't asked yet?
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I want to encourage people, everybody that listens,
23:52
if you can. Just the next time somebody bumps you on the cart,
23:56
you know, on the back of the legs with the cart or cuts you off
24:00
or doesn't use their blinkers when they're turning, instead of
24:04
saying you do, just say, lord, whatever
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that person is going through that is distracted, I just pray that you would give
24:12
them clarity and that you would help. Like, how much would that change?
24:15
Yeah, right. That's. That's big. Okay. You know, like, okay,
24:19
you want to cut in front of me? Well, you must be in a real
24:21
hurry. Like, I always. I say,
24:25
what if their mother's in the hospital and they have to get there really fast?
24:29
Like, I would drive fast. You know, like, if it was my kid and
24:33
they needed something, I would be in a hurry, too. So you don't
24:37
know what that other person is going through. You don't know what
24:41
their life, what they're facing. They may have had
24:44
devastating news. They may have lost their job. They may have. There's
24:48
so many things that the world is full of pain,
24:52
full of it. And if we can. We don't have to add to
24:55
it. If we can just give them a little bit of
24:59
Jesus love. That's what I try to live by. I just want to
25:03
be the hand that God can use to
25:07
hold somebody up. And whether it's in prayer or a hug
25:10
or if I bring you some sourdough or
25:14
whatever. If there's something that I can do to help, I want to
25:18
be that person that God can use. Yeah.
25:22
Oh, thank you, Lori. This has been so, so good.
25:26
You are such a blessing. And there's so much
25:29
from this conversation that honestly has convicted and challenged me.
25:34
And I think what you said at the end there, that there's so much pain
25:37
in the world, we don't have to add to it. That's so good.
25:42
The stories we share here remind us that CARE doesn't have to be perfect
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to be powerful. It just has to be present.
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Neighborly is an initiative of Care Impact, a Canadian charity
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equipping churches, agencies and communities with tech and training
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to care better together. Visit CareImpact CA
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or to find out more about the podcast sponsorships, being a guest
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or just dropping us a line, visit NeighborlyPodcast
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CA. We'd love to hear from you. Check the show notes for the link
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or hop on our Care Impact Podcast group on Facebook to join our
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podcast community. I'm Johan. Thanks for listening
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and keep being the kind of neighbor someone will never forget
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in a good way. Turning all
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the tables Tearing down walls
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Building up the bridges between
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the stones of these Turning over
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tables Breaking off chains
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When I see you in a. Stranger I'm no
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longer stay.
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Us all.