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1 Maccabees Chapter 16: Bible Study by Atheists
Simon “I’m too old for this shit” Maccabee finally taps out and hands the family blood-feud business to his sons, because nothing says “healthy succession plan” like immediate warfare and a leadership hand-off sponsored by help from heaven (sure, Jan). John (a.k.a. “Johnny Boy,” because this book refuses to give anyone a unique name) marches out with 20,000 troops to deal with Kendabias, and somehow the most dramatic obstacle is… a brook. A whole army is terrified to cross a brook. Not a raging river. A brook. (Ancient warfare: brought to you by wet socks and vibes.)Then the episode hits the…
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