Latest / The Lila Rose Show / E143: Modesty And The History Of Bikinis w/ Jessica Rey

Transcript

E143: Modesty And The History Of Bikinis w/ Jessica Rey · The Lila Rose Show

0:00
And I just started living that Hollywood lifestyle.
0:02
I was out almost every night with my roommates, partying,
0:06
getting drunk. I flew across the world a few
0:10
weeks later to Rome. It was there that I saw the
0:13
beauty of our faith, started hanging out with all these
0:16
Catholics in Hollywood. I didn't even know they existed
0:19
as an actress. My roommates and I just hung out
0:21
by the pool all day long. So my daily uniform, it was a
0:24
bikini. I started to learn about
0:26
modesty. And I'm like, you know what?
0:28
I have my business degree and it seems like people want this and
0:31
it doesn't exist. So let me just make my own
0:34
business. Jessica Ray, welcome to the
0:38
podcast. Thank.
0:39
You for having me? It's so nice to see you again.
0:41
I know it's been many, many years.
0:43
I think it was it a decade that we figured out.
0:46
Probably more. In in Los Angeles.
0:49
In Los Angeles, yeah. There's some mutual friends.
0:51
That's right. All right.
0:52
So some people already know about your work and who you are,
0:56
but some people are going to discover you are lovely inside
0:59
and out. You've found it.
1:00
A modest swimsuit brand. And you have an amazing, I think
1:04
testimony personally and a lot of insight on what beauty and
1:08
modesty even mean. So we haven't really talked
1:10
about modesty on the podcast. So you are breaking the ice for
1:13
us. Thank you for being here to do
1:14
it. OK, so where where should we
1:16
start? Let's start with who is Jessica
1:19
Ray? Who is she?
1:22
Well, I am a wife and mother. I have three beautiful babies.
1:27
Even if doctors told me I would never ever conceive or get
1:31
pregnant or have any children at all.
1:35
There's a miracle story behind that if you want to hear it
1:37
later. And I'm a business person and a
1:43
follower of Christ. And what's your business?
1:47
I started a company called Race One where now it's just called
1:52
Jessica Ray because we've sort of branched out into other types
1:55
of clothing. So it's more than swimwear, but
1:59
I have been doing that for maybe 16-17 years now.
2:04
And so you said, you doctor said you couldn't have three kids,
2:06
which you have three. Congratulations.
2:08
Thank you. Did you always want to be a mom?
2:11
I've always just wanted to be a mom my whole life.
2:14
I got married and I discovered that I have endometriosis really
2:18
bad. So went to a Catholic doctor and
2:22
had a procedure to remove the polyps thinking that that would
2:25
work. And they were like, oh, it just
2:27
created more scar tissue. So then I, we decided to do
2:31
another procedure with another Catholic doctor.
2:33
And after that surgery, she said that I would never get pregnant.
2:38
It was, it was. So she didn't even say like,
2:41
unless there's a miracle, I'm thinking you're a Catholic
2:44
doctor. Like, why aren't you at least
2:46
giving me some sort of hope? But she showed me when she did
2:50
the surgery, she did a video like of the insides and she's
2:53
like, do you see all of this scar tissue?
2:55
There is literally nothing that can be done.
2:58
And if you have another procedure, it's just going to
3:00
create more scar tissue. So I'm not a person who
3:04
typically gets like so sad or depressed or anything like that.
3:08
But it was, it was a very dark time for a couple of weeks, but
3:14
we had a a trip planned down to Mexico City with one of our
3:19
priest friends and five of my girlfriends.
3:21
And my husband and I had never been down to Mexico City.
3:25
We had a little pilgrimage and we prayed in front of the image
3:29
of Our Lady Guadalupe. And I just remember sitting
3:32
there staring at her because, you know, she's pregnant in that
3:35
image and staring at her womb and being so like mad.
3:41
Like, I did everything, God, I did everything the doctors told
3:44
me to do. We did the injections and the,
3:48
you know, the two surgeries to remove the polyps and the
3:50
endometriosis. And I ate all the organic things
3:53
and I didn't eat the sugar and I didn't eat the desserts and, and
3:57
now I'm never going to be pregnant.
3:58
And I was just so mad. And I said, I give up.
4:01
I give up. I will not do any of this
4:04
anymore. And I sobbed and then I went
4:07
home and I realized that I should have gotten my cycle when
4:10
we were in Mexico. And so I took a pregnancy test
4:14
thinking I'm going to start my cycle on this test.
4:17
I just know it because that's exactly what would happen every
4:20
time. But it was positive.
4:22
And I called my sister because our mom had passed away already
4:26
by that time. She was a labor and delivery
4:27
nurse. So I would have called my mom.
4:31
I called my sister who had already had two babies, and I
4:33
said I'm pregnant. And she said, what's your due
4:37
date? And I said, I don't even know
4:39
how to figure that out. And she said, what was the first
4:41
day of, of your last cycle? And so I told her and she said,
4:45
OK, your due date is December 12th.
4:49
And I, I dropped the phone. I was like, and she didn't
4:51
understand because she is, she's not a practicing Catholic.
4:54
But I was like that like, that's the feast day of Our Lady of
4:58
Guadalupe. And so it was a tote.
5:01
I called the Doctor Who told me I would never get pregnant.
5:05
And she, it was so weird. She was just like, oh, OK, well,
5:08
you should probably start some progesterone so you don't have a
5:10
miscarriage. And I'm like, are you not going
5:12
to say? Thank you, Mary.
5:14
Enemy. Like.
5:16
About how you threw me into the spiral of darkness for two weeks
5:21
and told me I would never get pregnant.
5:24
But we had an ultrasound. And I was so afraid that I would
5:28
have a miscarriage. But I had a trip planned a
5:31
couple weeks later to we had a private audience with Pope
5:35
Benedict. And we met with him on his
5:38
birthday, which was in April. And we sang happy birthday.
5:41
And I gave him some chocolate. And then it was my turn to talk
5:44
to him. And I said, I am pregnant.
5:46
And it's a miracle of Our Lady of Guadalupe.
5:48
And I quickly told him the story.
5:50
Will you bless my baby and my womb?
5:51
And he was like, see, see. So he gave me a blessing.
5:55
We went home, had my son in December, thought it would be
5:58
our only child. Six months later, I was pregnant
6:02
again and my daughter's due date was Pope Benedict's birthday.
6:06
Wow. Yeah, yeah.
6:08
Amazing. And then we have my son, and he
6:10
has no specific miracle attached to him, but he's the cutest.
6:13
He's the cutest. He's just adorable.
6:16
That is amazing. So that was it's it's a story
6:20
that I tell to people who aren't even Catholic and that hairs on
6:25
their arms will stand up. I mean, you can't make this
6:27
stuff up you. And God is just I'm I think
6:32
maybe he knows I'm the type of person that he kind of has to
6:34
like smack in the head to be like that was me so that I don't
6:39
try to claim it for myself. But amazing.
6:42
Really, truly, he's so good and and I'm just so blessed.
6:47
We did an episode with Father Spitzer on Our Lady of Guadalupe
6:50
and the science behind the image, and it's unbelievably
6:55
incredible. And.
6:58
But miracles are still happening.
6:59
I know like yours, I know we eventually want to go down and
7:03
hold my son up who's now 13. Thank you Mary.
7:07
Sing The Lion King song. But yeah, it's, he's, you know,
7:13
every child is a gift and a miracle.
7:15
But when multiple doctors tell you that you will never, ever
7:20
get pregnant and then you do, it's, it's really, really truly,
7:26
you know, just a miracle. It's amazing.
7:31
And tell me about your work before starting your swimwear
7:35
company. So before I started the swimwear
7:38
company I actually grew up in Orange County and I majored in
7:42
accounting and then I graduated and discovered that I did not
7:46
want to be an accountant. So I thought well what can I do?
7:49
Let me just go to grad school and spend more money trying to
7:52
figure out what I want to do. So I ended up moving up to LA to
7:55
get my MBA and started working at ATV Film production company
8:01
as an accountant. And the in house manager, talent
8:05
manager kept telling me that I should act.
8:08
And I was like leave me alone. I'm very happy with my
8:11
calculator and my spreadsheets. And she would not leave me
8:15
alone. Please just go on an audition.
8:17
Go on an audition. And so I finally agreed to go on
8:20
one audition if she would just leave me alone.
8:23
After that, thinking nothing of it.
8:25
And I went and I booked it. And it was a national network
8:29
commercial for Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch.
8:32
Delicious, yes. Which I do not allow my children
8:35
to eat. Not good.
8:37
And. Is that because of the the non
8:40
organic oats or what is? Just all of it.
8:44
But we, this was back a long time ago when national network
8:50
commercials paid great residuals before all of the new new media
8:55
Internet stuff. And it pretty much paid for my
8:58
graduate degree at Loyola Marymount University.
9:02
And so I was like, wow, this is great.
9:05
I mean, it's easy work. I'm just going to keep doing it.
9:08
So the manager there got me a commercial agent and I did
9:12
commercials for a year. Right before I graduated, I
9:15
decided let me try to get ATV film agent.
9:18
And I sent my headshot out and only one person would take me
9:21
because I hadn't really done any acting before.
9:25
And my very first audition was for the Power Rangers and I
9:28
booked it. So I had to choose between
9:32
finishing my graduate degree, I had two classes left and
9:35
becoming a series regular on this very popular children's TV
9:40
show as a Power Ranger. And of course, I chose the TV
9:45
show. I did go back and and finish my
9:47
degree, which made my parents very happy.
9:50
But then I just started living that Hollywood lifestyle.
9:54
I was out almost every night with my roommates, partying,
9:59
getting drunk, dancing like a lunatic till the wee hours of
10:04
the morning. And then one day this guy in my
10:08
acting glass was like, what are you doing?
10:10
What are you doing tomorrow? Like, why?
10:12
Where's the party? I'll bring my roommates and he's
10:15
like, oh, I'm going to the sink called prayer and pasta.
10:17
And I'm like, what is that? He's like, oh, first we pray the
10:22
rosary and then we, we eat pasta.
10:24
And I'm like, oh, I grew up praying the rosary.
10:26
I, I grew up Catholic, but was never really very well formed.
10:31
And I like pasta. And I didn't have anything going
10:33
on. So I decided, you know, I'll,
10:35
I'll go, I'll try it out. I'll meet you there.
10:38
I went early because I didn't want to go in without him.
10:41
And I waited in the parking lot at this place called Family
10:43
Theater in Hollywood. And I did not see him go in.
10:46
And I kept looking at my time. I'm like, now I'm going to be
10:49
late and I'm going to interrupt the rosary.
10:52
And I didn't want to draw attention to myself.
10:54
So I went in and I prayed the rosary with complete strangers,
10:58
which was very uncomfortable for me.
11:00
I had only ever prayed it with my grandparents and my family.
11:04
And then when it was time for pasta, I decided to try to sneak
11:08
out because this guy, his name was Jose, he never showed up and
11:11
I never saw him ever again. Wow.
11:14
So this other. Guy.
11:16
I mean I have no idea. I don't even remember his last
11:19
name to be able to look him up and were.
11:23
You texting with him about where to go.
11:26
This was like before people were texting.
11:29
All that he just told you, this is the location that starts at
11:31
this time and you're like, OK, I'm going to just be open, check
11:34
it out. Right, Right.
11:35
Wow. And I was so out of my comfort
11:38
zone, praying with strangers. And so I just really wanted to
11:42
leave. And on my way out, I heard
11:44
another guy talking about how he was in seminary in Rome and he
11:49
had to be emergency flown into Los Angeles for back surgery.
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And I had just met with a surgeon at Cedars Sinai because
11:56
I have scoliosis. I have a really bad back.
11:58
And I was on the fence. Do I do it?
12:00
Do I not? So I gave him my card.
12:02
I'm like not trying to hit on you.
12:04
I just overheard your story about your back surgery.
12:08
I'd love to know who your surgeon was and if you would
12:10
recommend him or her. So I end up meeting with this
12:13
guy for coffee to talk about his surgery a week later and he's
12:17
like, I have to go to Rome. I have to clean up my seminary
12:19
room. I can't travel alone.
12:20
I have back problems. And being as crazy as I was, I
12:24
was like, oh, I'll go with you. So I flew across the world a few
12:29
weeks later to Rome and stayed in the convent, which was, you
12:34
know, I had never, we hung out with priests and seminarians,
12:37
which I had never done before in my life.
12:39
I'm like, oh, these are normal people.
12:43
And I met a bunch of of nuns and staying in a convent and I just,
12:49
it was there that I saw the beauty of our faith, of our
12:54
Catholic faith and hanging out with all of these seminarians
12:57
and going to these events and going to the Vatican and seeing
13:00
the art and all the things. I just fell in love.
13:04
And I'm like, I want, I want to know more.
13:07
I want to learn more. And this is my faith, and I know
13:10
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14:00
And I'm like, I want, I want to know more, I want to learn more.
14:04
And this is my faith, and I know nothing about it.
14:07
So flew home and started hanging out with all these Catholics in
14:14
Hollywood. I didn't even know they existed,
14:16
and started doing ministry at the parish that was closest to
14:20
my house. And one day I was going out with
14:25
this seminarian guy and a bunch of other people.
14:27
And I opened the door and he's like, what are you wearing?
14:30
He's like, you can't wear that. And I'm like, what do you mean?
14:33
And it was a really short skirt. And he's like, you can't wear a
14:36
skirt that's as small as a belt. And I was like, EW, EW, you're
14:41
not my dad. Don't talk to me like that.
14:44
But I went in and I changed. And his comment just stuck in
14:48
the back of my head. And I couldn't, I was so mad.
14:52
And I guess because I had such emotional feelings about it, it
14:57
made me want to know, why would he what?
15:00
Why does he think he has the right to say such a thing to me?
15:03
And that was my deep dive into modesty.
15:07
So I started learning more about it.
15:09
And as an actress in Hollywood, my roommates and I just hung out
15:14
by the pool all day long waiting for auditions.
15:17
So my daily uniform was, it was a bikini, and I had drawers full
15:22
of bikinis. And I started to learn about
15:26
modesty. And I'm like, you know what, I'm
15:28
going to make a modest swimsuit because they just don't exist
15:31
right now. The only one piece swimsuits
15:32
were for grandmas or for toddlers or babies at the time.
15:37
And this was like 18 years ago. And I have no background in
15:42
fashion design. I cannot draw still to this day
15:45
and I can't sew. I just have a really great team
15:48
of people that I verbalize my designs to and they make it
15:51
become reality. And so that's where the first
15:56
design that I did was really just for myself to wear at the
15:58
pool. And then all these people at my
16:00
apartment building started asking, where did you get that?
16:03
I love that. And I thought, you know what, I
16:05
have my business degree and it seems like people want this and
16:09
it doesn't exist. So let me just make my own
16:12
business. And that was 18 years ago.
16:15
That was about 18 years ago. How many swimsuits have you
16:18
sold? Oh my gosh, I don't even know it
16:21
was. So I gave a talk on YouTube
16:23
called The Evolution of the Swimsuit years later and it went
16:29
viral because people basically wanted to kill me after hearing
16:34
it was this eight or nine minute talk.
16:37
And they called me all sorts of horrific names and words and
16:43
said I was a rape advocate and all these terrible things.
16:48
So, you know, that's why things go viral.
16:50
People love it and people hate it.
16:52
And after it went viral, the next day everything on my
16:55
website sold out and I had to start taking pre-orders and find
17:01
a bigger factory. And then I think for five or six
17:06
years, the talk just kept circulating every spring.
17:09
As soon as it would get hot outside, people would start
17:12
sharing it. I think it's because no one
17:15
wants to talk about modesty, right?
17:16
They don't want to talk about with their kids or with their
17:18
friends or their spouse even sometimes.
17:22
So they'd rather just repost this video to their Facebook
17:26
feed or their Instagram stories. And so that was my marketing.
17:32
I didn't spend a dime on any other kind of marketing.
17:35
It was just that one video that kept selling out our swimsuits
17:39
year after year after year. All right, I've got a lot of
17:43
questions because I want to, I want to hear about what you said
17:45
in that video because it's fascinating.
17:48
Before that, though, you were talking about getting on this
17:50
plane randomly with the seminarian that you had about
17:53
back surgery. And I, I just, I, when you
17:55
shared that, I just had to pause for a minute because I, I love
17:58
Los Angeles. I went to school there.
18:00
You know, you and I are, you know, in Southern California
18:02
right now. We love this area.
18:03
I know you're not here anymore, but you, this is like a home for
18:06
you as well. And I think there's something
18:08
about even LA particularly, but the the industry, entertainment
18:12
industry, this like radical openness that a lot of people
18:14
have to opportunity where they're just going to say, walk
18:17
through whatever door seems to open and just see what happens.
18:19
This love of adventure. Do you think that was where was
18:22
that driving you or what? What do you make of that?
18:25
I, I don't know, I mean, I think about it now and I'm like, he
18:29
could have kidnapped me and killed me in Europe or
18:32
something, you know, But my, my friends, you know, after sitting
18:36
down with him for coffee, talking about his back surgery
18:39
and he was a seminarian. His Bishop had sent him to Rome
18:42
from Detroit. And I was like, this guy is
18:46
totally harmless. But my my now sister-in-law.
18:49
And he's has a broken back, so how back can it be?
18:51
Come on. But I and you're a Power Ranger
18:54
at this point too. Exactly.
18:55
You're going to totally take care of yourself.
18:57
My sister-in-law and then a group of my girlfriends when I
19:00
told him, oh, I'm going to go to Rome in a few weeks with this,
19:03
this guy. And they were like, and it
19:04
wasn't, we weren't romantically interested in each other at all.
19:08
And they were like, you're crazy.
19:10
He he's going to like be an axe murderer or something.
19:13
And they said we have to meet him first.
19:16
So they met him. We had an invitation to an NBA
19:20
All Star party. This was the life that we were
19:23
living. And so I told him, hey, I'll get
19:25
you on the list. Just come to this party.
19:27
It was all NBA, All Star players and then a bunch of beautiful
19:31
girls and my. Former and.
19:34
Friend and we get. There he's like eating pizza.
19:38
Like where am I right now? The girl with the back surgery
19:42
is taking me to unload my dorm in Roam, so I'm going.
19:46
So I go to the bathroom and I come back and my friends were
19:50
like, oh, he's fine, you can go to Rome with him and he's fine.
19:53
And I said. Why?
19:53
They're like, he didn't even drink, he just ate pizza.
19:56
No. It was, I mean, it was really
19:57
like that. We had just all arrived and I
19:59
said, what happened? You guys were so worried and
20:03
they said when you were in the bathroom, he told us that he's a
20:07
virgin. And I was like, first of all,
20:11
why would he tell you that? I'm so weird but.
20:15
A virgin can still be an axe murderer.
20:18
So, but this, you know, this is, it's like my roommates had never
20:23
heard of such a thing, that there could be a virgin walking
20:27
around Los Angeles at the age of 24 or however old he was.
20:32
And for some reason that made them think, oh, he's harmless.
20:34
You could totally beat him up if you needed to.
20:38
It was bizarre. It was a weird time.
20:40
So, and, and during this time, you're doing the Power Ranger
20:43
thing. It was.
20:44
This was after the Power Rangers.
20:47
I was still acting though, so I was still guest starring and
20:49
doing recurring roles on various, various shows.
20:53
And it became more and more difficult for me because as an
20:58
actress, you know, you can't ever say no.
21:01
If you say no, then your agent or manager will drop you and
21:05
they'll just get the next person.
21:08
And it really is. It's an industry where you truly
21:12
feel objectified. You, you know, you go there
21:15
thinking, oh, I'm unique, I am beautiful.
21:18
A lot of people are the, you know, the prom queen and all
21:23
these things. They come from these small towns
21:24
and they get to Hollywood because people told them you're
21:27
going to make it. You're the most beautiful,
21:29
you're the most talented. And then they get there and they
21:31
realize, oh, my goodness, so is everybody else.
21:34
And when you go to an audition, especially me back back then, I
21:40
would go to these specific ethnic auditions where they
21:44
wanted Asian or they wanted Mexican or they wanted Indian.
21:47
And my agent never knew really where to place me.
21:50
But you walk into a room where everybody else looks exactly
21:54
like you, and they're probably prettier, they have better hair,
21:59
they're curvier or taller or whatever else the casting is
22:03
looking for. And you start to feel, you know,
22:08
God made us all unique and beautiful and you don't feel
22:10
that way at all. You just feel like an object
22:14
that your agent is thrown out there for these roles.
22:17
So finally, when you do book one thing or you do get an audition
22:22
and you're like, oh, I can't do that.
22:25
Like I. It's an example of something
22:27
that you dealt with. Well here's an example.
22:30
So I I booked a show that I didn't even audition for.
22:33
My manager called me and said they're going to have a Courier
22:37
come and bring you the script and it was a recurring role on
22:40
ATV show and I was like, that's weird.
22:44
Like I don't even read for this. So I get the script and the
22:48
first page, it takes place in Cancun and I'm like, so the
22:52
first thing that went through my mind was Oh no, they're going to
22:54
want me to wear a bikini because it's a beach thing obviously.
22:59
And I was like, I can't wear a bikini.
23:02
I, I, I make modest swimsuits and I don't wear bikinis
23:06
anymore. So I told my agent and he's
23:10
like, well, you go, just go and talk to them about it, but you
23:15
might have to wear it. And I and I, I told him I'm not
23:18
going to do the role if I have to wear it.
23:20
So I got there for the wardrobe fitting and I brought every
23:24
single swimsuit that I had of mine that was like a tankini 2
23:31
piece thing or whatever. One piece.
23:33
I brought it in and they were like, OK, go into the dressing
23:36
room and that we have a bunch of bikinis in there.
23:38
And I looked at the wardrobe stylist and said I can't wear a
23:42
bikini. She's like, what do you mean you
23:44
can't wear a bikini? I said I just don't wear them.
23:48
I said I don't feel comfortable in a bikini and I don't want to
23:51
be in a bikini on television. And she said, well, what are you
23:56
going to wear then? And I said, I brought like a
23:58
luggage full of suit swimsuits. And she said, well, put it on,
24:03
but it's up to the director, It's not up to me.
24:05
So I tried on maybe 5 or 6 of my one piece swimsuits and they
24:09
were like, OK, that's fine, you can, you can wear that.
24:12
And I was so, I was so relieved that they said yes.
24:16
But there, you know, there's the fear that you say no.
24:19
And now I no longer have this fear.
24:20
I am still acting, doing little things, commercial things here
24:24
and there. My kids also do ads with us.
24:30
And I have No Fear anymore of just saying Nope.
24:34
And if you don't want to represent us anymore, then and
24:39
you don't, but I'm not going to be a slave to this industry
24:43
anymore. Whereas I feel scared, you know,
24:46
that I'm going to get rejected and and turned away.
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this mission just as much. That's awesome.
26:37
Yeah. I mean, I I think it's an
26:38
example to people listening because I think there's so much
26:41
fear and not just in like entertainment world, but in any
26:44
world of standing for your beliefs and standing up for
26:46
truth or what's right. And people either just are quiet
26:50
or they compromise or they just kind of delete themselves from
26:52
the opportunity. They don't even try.
26:54
But the fact that you showed up, you had a solution, you were
26:58
polite about it, and they ended up going with your solution.
27:01
Right. And if they didn't, then I knew
27:03
I had already made the decision beforehand.
27:06
I'm just not. I'm going to walk away.
27:08
I'm going to walk away and just say no and really hold myself to
27:13
that so. Did you, when you shared that
27:16
story with like your roommates or other friends, did you feel
27:19
that people were, were people surprised?
27:22
Like, how could you have even brought your own swimsuits or
27:25
what was kind of the reaction you got from friends?
27:27
Around you at the time, I was already just hanging out with
27:32
all people of the same mindset. So I mean, maybe there were a
27:37
few people that didn't understand, but you know, for
27:42
the most part, everyone was super on board and cheering me
27:46
on. And I do think it's that's why
27:48
it's important to surround yourself with people who will
27:51
support you and encourage you in your beliefs and your
27:55
convictions when it comes to that kind of stuff.
27:57
Because if I did get rejected, then of course there would be a
28:02
feeling of sadness maybe, or, you know, who knows what.
28:06
But then I have my friend, my friends there in my community
28:09
saying, yeah, don't worry about it and supporting me in that
28:13
decision. What was your bikini talk about?
28:18
So. The viral bikini video.
28:20
So it was called the evolution of the swimsuit, and I basically
28:24
talked about the origin of the bikini, and it was designed by a
28:31
man named Louis Rayard Frenchman.
28:34
And it was so explosive because no one had ever worn something
28:38
like that before that He named it after an atomic bomb site,
28:44
Bikini Atoll. I don't know if I'm saying that
28:46
correct, but he couldn't find any models who would wear it.
28:52
So he had to hire a stripper or an exotic dancer, maybe 2 to
28:58
model it. What year was for him?
29:00
It was, I want to say it was in the 50s.
29:03
It's been a while since I gave the talk.
29:05
But and then there was the sex sexual revolution and the bikini
29:12
became more widely accepted. But the in the talk I showed
29:16
pictures of, you know, before that women wore one piece
29:21
swimsuits and even before that, women wore these crazy
29:25
voluminous dresses that you would basically drown in.
29:28
You tried to swim in it, but they used bath houses.
29:32
It was a 6 by 6 by 6, sort of like Hut on wheels and horses or
29:37
people would bring them down to the water so that women could
29:41
get out in their bathing costumes and get directly into
29:45
the water so no one would see them.
29:49
So I, so I said in the talk that, you know, I'm not sure how
29:52
we got from wearing a 36 square foot house to wearing barely 36
29:57
inches of fabric at the beach, if even that some days or these
30:02
days I just came from Europe. So, so people, people got really
30:09
mad. You know, in the talk, I, I
30:12
discussed how I believe we're made in the image and likeness
30:15
of God and we're all made beautiful.
30:17
And at the end, I just asked, you know, how will you use your
30:22
beauty, your God-given beauty? And it made people mad.
30:26
It made people say that I, yeah, that I'm a rape advocate, that
30:33
basically if they're wearing a bikini and they get raped, then
30:37
I'm saying that they were asking for it and they deserved it.
30:41
And absolutely was not saying that at all.
30:47
You know, so that's where the the controversy came from.
30:53
This idea of how will you use your beauty?
30:56
I love that question. It's such a powerful one.
30:59
What is it? What does your, what's your take
31:01
on the standards of modesty? Because I'm sure people right
31:04
now are listening and they maybe some of them are like a bikinis
31:07
are not a big deal, just has to be a more modest bikini.
31:10
And then maybe other people are saying, listen, it's not about
31:12
any particular clothing guideline because cultures are
31:14
all different. It's really about just your
31:16
heart. God only sees the heart.
31:18
So I, I'm just representing, you know, some of the views that I
31:21
hear often even from, you know, Christians or conservatives or
31:25
whatever it may be. It's such an explosive topic and
31:29
I've given like 2 day conferences on this because I
31:34
don't got time. Jessica Yeah, I don't think you
31:37
can really talk about it in an, you know, an hour allotted by
31:40
whatever conference I go to. Speak about modesty.
31:43
I I wrote a book. It's like a coffee table style
31:46
book that sold out and I I didn't reprint it.
31:48
I'm working on updating it, but I Co wrote it with Leah Darrow,
31:52
who I think you know, and the 1st chapter is it just talks
31:57
about our inherent dignity. Because I really think that the
32:01
conversation has to start there. And a lot of people think about
32:05
modesty and they think that it's about these rules.
32:09
Like 2 fingers below the collarbone.
32:10
You can't show your elbows, you can't show your knees, you can't
32:13
wear pants, ever. And I've had people tell me
32:18
there's no way that you can design and create a modest
32:21
swimsuit, because the swimsuit can never, ever be modest and
32:24
women just shouldn't be wearing them.
32:26
So are those people recommending that women don't swim?
32:29
I'm not, I'm not sure if they, I've heard some people say you
32:32
should only swim in your own backyard pool where there's no
32:35
one else around. And this is another reason that
32:37
the talk went viral because it was very interesting to see.
32:40
I had to stop reading the comments because it drove me
32:43
crazy. But some people were saying
32:46
you're advocating for rape, and other people were saying those
32:50
aren't modest. Her swimsuits aren't modest at
32:53
all. So it's like it's too modest or
32:54
not modest enough. And people get into these
32:58
arguments even on our Facebook page or our Instagram page.
33:03
Harris, can you pull up a clip from the YouTube?
33:07
It's the history of the bikini, the.
33:08
Evolution. Evolution of the bikini
33:09
swimsuit. I think it's, but I never, I
33:12
didn't even know they were recording.
33:14
I didn't know they were recording it.
33:15
I didn't know that it was out there.
33:18
It was one of my friends who said did you know your talk is
33:22
on? This is the queue conference
33:23
that you spoke at. It's not called think right?
33:25
They rebranded. They they rebranded to think.
33:28
I've actually never watched it. Myself.
33:31
Oh wow, this is fun. OK.
33:32
Stand to listen to myself. You sound great, OK.
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34:41
A few years ago, male college students at Princeton University
34:46
participated in studies of how the male brain reacts to seeing
34:50
people in different amounts of clothing.
34:53
Brain scans revealed that when men are shown pictures of
34:57
scantily clad women, the region of the brain associated with
35:00
tools such as screwdrivers and hammers lit up.
35:06
Some men showed zero brain activity in the medial
35:10
prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that lights up
35:14
when one ponders another person's thoughts, feelings and
35:18
intentions. Researchers found this shocking
35:21
because they almost never see this part of the brain shut down
35:24
in this way. And a Princeton professor said
35:28
it's as if they're reacting to these women as if they are not
35:31
fully human. It's consistent with the idea
35:34
that they are responding to these photographs as if they
35:37
were responding to objects, not people.
35:41
In a separate Princeton study, when men viewed images of women
35:45
in bikinis, they often associated with first person
35:48
action verbs such as I push, I grab, I handle.
35:54
But when they saw images of women dressed modestly, they
35:57
associated them with third person action verbs such as she
36:01
pushes, she grabs. Analysts at the National
36:05
Geographic concluded the bikinis really do inspire men to see
36:09
women as objects, as something to be used rather than someone
36:12
to connect with. So it seems that wearing a
36:17
bikini does give a woman power, the power to shut down a man's
36:23
ability to see her as a person, but rather as an object.
36:28
OK. That was very powerful.
36:29
You have the data that you're sharing.
36:32
Did anybody that was upset with you after this video respond to
36:36
that particular point you were making about what the studies
36:38
show? A lot of them said that, oh, in
36:40
the studies it was a bunch of rapists or pedophiles or, you
36:46
know, and I, I was like. Meaning they somehow only
36:50
surveyed rapists exclusively. Not just men.
36:52
At last they were already sexually aggressive men, is what
36:56
they had told me. But I'm, and I'm telling you,
37:01
I've never listened to this before.
37:02
I'm like sweating over here watching myself because I hate
37:07
listening to myself talk. But I didn't know that you could
37:12
hear the men in the audience laughing.
37:14
I just realized that as we're watching it, and this was a
37:17
Christian conference and most of the people, I would say 90% men
37:22
who were entrepreneurs and or pastors or Christian speakers.
37:29
And they laughed when I said the research because, and I had some
37:32
people tell me afterwards, you didn't need to cite research for
37:36
that. Like, you know, they laughed
37:38
because it was like a guilty laugh.
37:40
Like, they know. But that's the way that, you
37:44
know, they're not rapists or sexually aggressive.
37:47
You know, they're just saying, yeah, you know, that's kind of
37:50
what comes across our mind when when we see that.
37:53
So anyway, I think that's really interesting.
37:56
And I'd rather listen to them laughing than myself.
37:59
Speaking so you're doing great, I think.
38:02
I think that there's a lot of shame around this topic and
38:04
people get very quickly defensive and sometimes
38:07
understandably so, because they do think there's a lot of
38:10
extremes in our culture today. But I think the ground of the
38:15
stake, the ground that you're staking, which is that the
38:17
bikini was extreme fifty, 60-70 years ago.
38:21
Now it's so ubiquitous. So we think it's totally normal.
38:25
But according to this data that you're sharing it, it does draw
38:29
attention to particular parts of the bodies that that are used
38:33
for sex typically. I mean, again, obviously breasts
38:35
are also used for breastfeeding and everything else.
38:36
You don't sexualize breasts always, but those are what are
38:40
coined the private parts for a reason, right?
38:42
So I think that, you know, again, we haven't talked about
38:45
this yet on the show here, but growing up, the bikini was
38:48
always something when I was a kid and I would talk about with
38:51
my mom. My mom was not like a super you
38:54
have to wear only skirts and long sleeve shirts, but there
38:56
was this kind of common discussion.
38:58
We would have this knowledge and and even friends conversations
39:01
with friends that the bikini was like pushing it.
39:04
If you're a teenage girl wearing a bikini, that's kind of pushing
39:07
it on the modest standard. But I think today a lot of
39:09
people just think, oh, if you're against a bikini, you are crazy.
39:13
Oh yeah, it's just a normal. It's just a normal thing now.
39:17
Now to wear and even, you know, the one piece swimsuits that
39:21
exist are like with all the cutouts and they're super low
39:24
cut or very high cut. I don't know, I don't understand
39:27
some of them. I'm like why is it smaller in
39:29
the front? One strip, tiny strip.
39:32
Yeah, I don't get it. And, and I think it's important
39:34
is this is not to shame anyone who has worn or does wear
39:38
bikinis. And I don't think your posture
39:41
was a shaming one. You're sharing research, you're
39:43
sharing the history. And that enough got people, some
39:46
people, to be upset because I think we would prefer that we
39:50
lived in a world where you can do whatever you want and there's
39:53
never any negative consequences. And I can understand why people
39:58
want to live in that world because it eliminates sort of us
40:02
having to deal with these thornier questions or these Gray
40:05
areas that may require us to even make compromises that we
40:10
otherwise would not want to make.
40:11
Such as, OK, I'm not going to wear a bikini even though I
40:13
prefer it. Right.
40:15
And I mean, modesty isn't just about, you know, not wearing a
40:18
bikini or like I said, the inches and all these things, but
40:21
it's a it's an interior disposition and it is externally
40:26
shown in the way you dress, but also the way you speak and the
40:29
way you carry yourself, the way you treat other people.
40:32
So I think when people get so like defensive about that word
40:36
modesty, they're immediately thinking, oh, she's telling me I
40:40
can't wear pants or I can't do this or I can't do that.
40:43
And instead of thinking like, what can I not do I think people
40:48
really need to think about, you know, I am a temple of the Holy
40:52
Spirit. I was made in the image and
40:54
likeness of God. Does do these words honor God?
40:58
Do does this dress, this swimsuit?
41:00
Does it does it honor God? What I'm wearing, what I'm
41:03
saying, how I'm acting? And I think that's, that should
41:06
be the way people think about modesty instead of the negative,
41:09
like you can't do this, you can't wear this, you can't say
41:12
that. But really before you speak,
41:15
like, OK, should the gossip, for example, like should I, should I
41:19
be saying this just is, are these words honoring God?
41:22
Probably not. I'll just keep it to myself.
41:24
What do you think are some standards for modesty separate
41:27
from swimsuits? So it sounds like you're like,
41:29
yeah, bikinis don't do it. Yeah, but what about other forms
41:32
of clothing? I do think.
41:34
It's and can you do a modest bikini?
41:38
I don't know. I don't know about a modest
41:40
bikini, but and I do think it's situational.
41:46
For example, if you're going to go to to church or any sacred
41:50
space in Italy, you, they have these signs outside of the door
41:55
that are the guidelines the of dress, their dress code.
41:59
So I just got back from Italy and you know, it's basically you
42:02
don't show your shoulders. I think like men can't wear
42:05
shorts if I I saw that correctly or you know, you.
42:08
Have nothing above the knee. Nothing above the knee for men.
42:10
I think maybe for men and women. Right, right.
42:12
Which for men now a lot of men are wearing these super short
42:15
shorts today. I generally for myself, I think
42:18
it also depends on your body type.
42:20
And I'm, I'm pretty slim. I always have been.
42:23
It's just how I was made. And so I don't have a lot of
42:26
curves. Maybe if someone was a little
42:30
curvy than I am or if I was nursing a baby I would have a
42:33
little bit of a higher neckline and but I don't.
42:39
I don't think one rule, blanket rule applies to every person or
42:43
situation and that's why it is very difficult to talk about.
42:48
So what would you recommend for people listening?
42:49
They're like, OK, I would like to be modest, but not in the way
42:54
that it's like extreme and frumpy and like the obviously
42:57
modest person who's always buttoned up, you know?
42:59
But I want to be beautiful and fashionable.
43:02
What would you recommend? I think in the book that I
43:04
wrote, we talked about tightness of clothing, not just when it
43:08
comes to modesty, but you know, when people are wearing things
43:11
that are too tight and you can basically see the outline of
43:13
their undergarments. I think that we shouldn't be
43:17
able to see your undergarments on the outside of your clothing.
43:21
So it shouldn't be too tight, not too low cut, maybe not too
43:25
short, like if you need to constantly adjust your clothing.
43:30
So my husband is a is a high school teacher and we chaperone
43:35
a dance every year. And every year I feel like the
43:38
girls dresses were getting shorter and shorter and tighter
43:42
and tighter. And you know, they'll be stairs
43:45
at the venue and I'm going upstairs and you know, I can see
43:49
your underwear and you're the girls don't even look
43:52
comfortable. They're like constantly tugging
43:55
down on their dress or their skirt and constantly pulling
43:58
things up. And so when you get dressed, you
44:02
should look in the mirror and make sure that your outfit isn't
44:05
see through, you know, stand in front of the window or
44:10
something. Because I one time was at an
44:13
event and this girl walked through and her dress, it was
44:16
maybe this kind of color, but it was sheer and you could see her
44:22
undergarments. And she didn't realize it.
44:25
But as she walked through, I think she saw the look on
44:28
people's faces like, Oh no, like they were just like a little bit
44:30
embarrassed for her. And she went and told a friend
44:35
of mine like, Oh my gosh, why didn't anyone tell me that that
44:38
my dress is see through? And she she ended up leaving.
44:42
But things like that, you know, look in the mirror and move in
44:45
your clothing. Is this going to move when I
44:49
have to raise my arms or bend over to pick something up?
44:52
I mean, I think it's good. I might.
44:54
I remember my dad telling me as a girl and he was always pretty
44:57
gentle about clothing stuff. And my mom was pretty gentle.
45:01
So I think they were pretty balanced.
45:02
But my dad would say modesty is contextual a lot of the time.
45:07
Like you just said, whether you're at church or you're at
45:09
the pool, you're going to be wearing different clothing.
45:11
So part of it is that part of it is the disposition of your heart
45:14
and how you behave with other people, not wanting people to
45:16
just like look at you and you know, like gawk at you.
45:20
But you want to engage people and get to know them for who
45:22
they are and you want them to know who you for who you are.
45:26
But then also that there are extremes on both sides.
45:29
Like you can go the extreme of the Super skimpy bikini and
45:32
wearing the see through dress or no dress at all.
45:34
I mean, Kanye West is parading around his new, I guess, wife
45:40
naked, literally naked. And I think it's so
45:42
disrespectful. She's just disrespectful of
45:45
herself and he's disrespecting her.
45:48
My opinion in a big way. So there's that extreme, but
45:51
then there's the other extreme, which I think also is an
45:53
extreme. Afghanistan recently is required
45:56
all women to wear the full burqa.
45:58
So they have to have everything covered, hands, eyes,
46:02
everything, every single woman in this country of, of
46:05
Afghanistan. That is an extreme too.
46:07
And I think my, my dad encouraged me, which I think to
46:10
this day is the, some of the best, like most sensible common
46:13
sense advice. Go somewhere in the middle.
46:15
Like go, don't go to either extreme.
46:17
Don't be so modest that you're always covered up and people
46:20
look at you and like, that's the modest girl.
46:22
And then don't be immodest to the point where we were like,
46:25
that's the immodest girl or that's the girl that's just
46:28
dressed dressing that way. And this goes to for men too, to
46:31
some extent. I mean, men, I think typically
46:34
are not using their body the same way.
46:36
Women necessarily with fashion. Fashion for men is typically
46:39
different than women. But there can be a modest men's
46:42
fashion I think too. Exactly.
46:43
So it's not just for women. But I know what I'm saying right
46:46
now is even going to be controversial.
46:48
Of course, of course, I mean, anything about this topic is
46:52
controversial and people think that, you know, to the one
46:54
extreme, the women who are, you said more modest.
46:57
But I think maybe a better word would be like more covered,
47:01
like, you know, that's a good, that's a good.
47:04
Distinction. Actually a really important
47:06
distinction because you're not necessarily more modest if
47:08
you're burka. You're just more covered.
47:11
And a lot of these women will say, you know, I'm you're
47:17
immodest because you're not wearing a floor length.
47:20
You don't, You don't look like you walked off the set of Little
47:23
House on the Prairie, right? For the record, I am wearing
47:26
kind of a Prairie dress today, which I don't usually do, but
47:29
this is a Carly Jean Los Angeles dress, which I we love the brand
47:32
on the show and it's very comfortable, but you don't have
47:34
to always wear a dress like this.
47:36
Your dress is very cute. Jessica, thank you.
47:39
It's I love the dress, by the way.
47:40
Thank you, Carly Jean. But it's, you know, there's
47:42
different. The Little House on the Prairie
47:44
style is in style right now. It is.
47:46
It is. It's our means like.
47:48
Thing but some. People.
47:49
Are very high. Very high, you know, don't even
47:52
show their wrists, you know, their ankles are covered and
47:56
they think that they are more modest, but they're just more
47:59
covered. And a lot of, a lot of my
48:03
friends dress this way and, you know, they'll say, oh, you're
48:06
wearing pants today. You know, I, I, and I'm like,
48:08
yes, I am. I I wear pants, which again is a
48:13
is a controversial issue, particularly, I think in the
48:16
Catholic circles. And some and some evangelical.
48:20
Circles and some evangelical circles.
48:22
You're right. And they think that to be, to be
48:26
modest, you have to dress like that.
48:28
But you can have style, you know, you can wear color, you
48:32
can express yourself like Rachel Zoe, who used to say style is a
48:37
way to say who you are without having to speak.
48:40
And she's a Hollywood fashion stylist and, and I always found
48:45
that I, I find that, you know, to be true, you can express your
48:49
style like, and, and going back to what she said, I actually was
48:54
visiting my mom at UCLA at the hospital.
48:56
She was hospitalized there before she died.
48:58
And I had an audition for Grey's Anatomy and I didn't have
49:02
scrubs, you know, in my trunk of, of clothes.
49:05
So I ran down to the bookstore and they sell scrubs in the UCLA
49:09
bookstore and I put them on and then I ran up to see my mom
49:11
really quick. And I'm running out and I'm
49:14
waiting for the elevator and I get into the elevator and this
49:17
person came out of their room and they're like, excuse me,
49:19
nurse, nurse, nurse because I was dressed in scrubs.
49:23
I looked like a nurse. They're like, we need help in
49:25
here. And I said I'm I'm not a nurse.
49:28
I'm just dressed like 1 and the doors shut but.
49:34
Most traumatic hospital experience ever like I'm dying
49:37
nurse you're like it's just an outfit it's.
49:39
Just a costume, but you know, I was dressed like a nurse and so
49:44
they thought I was a nurse and they thought I could help them
49:47
and unfortunately I couldn't. But your clothing says so much
49:52
about you, it really does. And so we should be more mindful
49:56
about it, I think. I was just interviewing with
49:59
Ginger Boilo, formerly Duggar. So she was sharing about her
50:03
journey from kind of fundamentalism.
50:06
And they had very strict modesty standards that she grew up with
50:09
and loosening up. Not that she's all wearing
50:11
whatever, but I mean, she's very tastefully dressed.
50:13
But that was a an extreme that she experienced growing up.
50:16
And I think there's a tendency when the sexual revolution
50:20
happened and then there's such chaos in the culture.
50:22
I mean, only fans is huge today. And so many women, I mean, like
50:27
you said that in the high schools and junior high, this
50:29
the styles and the fashions for these young girls are getting
50:32
kind of crazy, some of them. And so I think there's a
50:34
tendency from some good people to say, well, we got to react
50:37
against that. We have to like solve that.
50:39
Problem to the other side. Right.
50:42
But I think what I love about your clip here is here you are
50:45
wearing like a cute dress. You know, you look, you look
50:47
great, and you're just saying, yeah, I'm not going to do
50:50
bikinis. And here's an alternative.
50:51
Right, which I mean, I got nailed to the cross for that
50:54
dress for my shoulders, and my shoulders are showing.
50:57
And my little kitten heel on my shoe.
51:00
How can this girl be talking about modesty?
51:03
I think so much of virtue is in the mean.
51:05
It's, I mean, St. Aquinas talks about this a lot.
51:08
Saint Thomas Aquinas, what is virtue?
51:10
A lot of it is in the happy middle where you're, you know,
51:14
if you're going to be so restrictive of food and you're
51:17
never going to eat and you're going to starve yourself, that's
51:19
a problem. You're going to be, you're going
51:20
to be a glutton and eat too much food and indulge yourself.
51:23
That's a problem. So what is the mean?
51:25
OK, eat well, take care of your body, enjoy food once in a while
51:29
for special occasions. If it's like a, you know, a
51:31
special treat, but don't overindulge and don't under
51:34
indulge. Don't under eat.
51:36
I've, I mean, I've had people go on this, you know, we try to eat
51:39
as healthy as possible, but they get so crazy about it that if
51:43
they go to a restaurant or something and there isn't
51:45
something they can eat, they'll literally just sit there and
51:48
starve because they feel like they just, there's nothing that
51:52
they can, they can eat. You know, God gave us immune
51:55
systems and you know, once in a while it's, it's not going to
52:00
hopefully not going to kill you. What advice do you give to folks
52:03
listening who maybe are on their own journey of discovering their
52:06
personal style? So they want to be modest in
52:09
both their heart and their clothing.
52:11
They don't want to be at an extreme, but they're also trying
52:15
to figure out what their style is.
52:20
I mean, it's, it's so hard. You know, back in the day we
52:23
would look at magazines, but there was nothing, I would say
52:27
maybe really modest about magazines.
52:29
The reason that I started that my swimsuits are the way they
52:36
are, I guess to sign the way, are because I looked up to the
52:40
movie stars of the 1950s, so Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly.
52:43
It's really hard to find style icons today to look up to, but
52:49
they're there. Where are they?
52:50
I mean, who are your style icons today?
52:52
Oh gosh. I really.
52:54
Like Princess Kate? Yeah.
52:56
The one, the one. I really do like.
52:58
She's so proper though. I, I do like Kate.
53:01
I mean, I think she's very classy.
53:02
She's very, it's a very, I think it's a very elevated style.
53:07
It is. And, you know, it's like the
53:10
style of maybe Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly, which I tend to
53:17
like a lot more than than the style of, of today.
53:22
And, you know, there's this word going around all over.
53:24
I'm not on TikTok, but TikTok and Instagram.
53:26
Demure. Demure is the word of the of the
53:29
season, I guess. And so I saw this video and I'm
53:33
like, why does everyone keep posting that they're demure and,
53:36
you know, cutesy? And I looked up the definition
53:40
of demure and it's modest in dress and behavior.
53:43
And so I love that that's the trending word of the season.
53:46
And I hope that people actually, you know, look at that and and
53:53
go to the actual definition instead of just posting crazy
53:56
videos with this sound clip. What about modesty standards for
54:01
men? Oh gosh, modesty standard.
54:04
I mean, that's modesty standards for men is one of the things
54:08
that people will start yelling about when you start talking
54:11
about modesty. Why don't why doesn't ever
54:14
anyone ever tell men that they have to dress modestly?
54:17
And I'm like and maybe someone should, but I I don't feel
54:21
that's my calling. That's fair.
54:24
We will find a guest for the Lila Roche show that will be to
54:28
talk about that. Yeah, I mean, I just looked at
54:30
the style icons of the past because sadly enough, besides
54:33
Kate Middleton, there's nobody today that I really look up to
54:38
for their clothing choices. Sounds like an obvious need in
54:42
the market for someone to fill. Yeah, looking at, you know, the
54:45
red carpet events, I'm like, they're not even a lot of them
54:49
are just wearing lingerie and I don't understand it.
54:55
Any final words of advice for women especially who are on
54:59
their own style and odyssey journey?
55:03
Pretty much how I ended my my talk.
55:05
You know, we're all should we watch it?
55:06
No. No, let's do it.
55:08
Let's do it. Instead of being discouraged, I
55:10
took matters into my own hands and I designed my own swimsuit.
55:14
My goal is to disprove the age-old notion that when it
55:18
comes to swimsuits, less is more and that you can dress modestly
55:23
without sacrificing fashion. My inspiration for my swimsuit
55:28
line is Audrey Hepburn, who is timeless and classy and who
55:32
happened to have dressed very modestly.
55:35
I don't think people think of Audrey Hepburn and think frumpy,
55:37
dumpy and out of fashion. These are some of my designs.
55:42
I'm so gross. And my tagline is who says it
55:50
has to be itsy bitsy? Well, to answer the question, if
55:53
you look at today's society, everyone, everyone says it has
55:59
to be itsy bitsy fashion designers, the media and let's
56:03
face it, sometimes parents. Little girls would not be
56:06
running around in sexy underwear and skimpy bikinis if it wasn't
56:09
for their parents buying them for them.
56:13
I believe that the woman was afraid to come out of the water
56:16
because she had a natural sense of modesty about her.
56:19
That has been stripped away by today's culture and we need to
56:24
bring it back. I have dedicated a lot of my
56:27
time, I travel all over the country speaking to girls about
56:30
this issue. I've just written a book called
56:32
Decent Exposure about it, and we need to teach girls that modesty
56:36
isn't about covering up our bodies because they're bad.
56:40
Modesty isn't about hiding ourselves, it's about revealing
56:43
our dignity. We were made beautiful in his
56:47
image and likeness. So the question I'd like to
56:50
leave you with is, how will you use your beauty?
56:54
Thank you. So good.
56:59
So what's next for you, Jessica? I have started a few other
57:03
businesses that are totally unrelated to the swimwear
57:08
business, which I will continue to do.
57:11
We're actually having a huge sale right now because I'm
57:14
moving my business out of California.
57:17
And how. Long does the sale go on for?
57:20
Probably for another month. OK, that should come out before
57:24
then. So yeah, check it out guys.
57:25
Yeah, it's buy one, get one free, which we've never done
57:28
before, but we're really trying to clear the warehouse.
57:32
And one of my other businesses is an entrepreneur course,
57:37
digital entrepreneurship course for kids, because I think it's
57:40
so important for kids to learn how business works.
57:43
My customer service team is always sending me screenshots of
57:48
messages that people send. And I'm like, I don't think they
57:50
understand how business works with the buy one get one free.
57:53
Someone said, oh, I bought something two years ago.
57:55
Can I just go pick something now for free?
57:58
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, they do not understand business at
58:01
all. But I, you know, I'm traveling
58:03
the world with my husband and my 3 little kids and I homeschool
58:06
them. So most of my time is spent with
58:09
them. I just, I love to be around
58:12
them. And so that's why I homeschool
58:14
and I get sad when they're not with me.
58:16
And I only have maybe a handful of years left with my son
58:19
because he's 13 and I can't even.
58:21
I can't even believe it. How do you balance business and
58:24
homeschooling? Lots of coffee and a very
58:29
supportive, saintly husband who is the best person I've ever met
58:35
in my entire life. It's beautiful and encouraging,
58:38
I think, to women to know that you can be a businesswoman and
58:42
home school, be with your kids. Jessica, you're awesome.
58:45
Thank you so much for joining the podcast.
58:47
Thank you for having me. A huge thank you to our partner.
58:50
EWTNEWTN is the world's leading Catholic network, reaching
58:56
millions with the truth about the faith, entertainment and
58:58
news. Check them out at ewtn.com.