Latest / The Pausecast / Ep. 79: Laidoff or fear of layoffs? 3 Uncomfortable Truths you need to know.
Transcript
- 0:00wow, we have a big topic to cover today, we're going to be
- 0:04talking about What to do next and how to handle a force pause
- 0:11or what is more commonly known as a layoff with the recent Tech
- 0:17turn that has had. So many companies laying people
- 0:20off the last couple months, me being an ex-googler, the news
- 0:24that 12,000 googlers were laid off seeing all the posts from my
- 0:28colleagues on LinkedIn and reading about where they are and
- 0:33their resilience. And all of that has really Ali
- 0:36prompted me to respond. And so to me this podcast, this
- 0:41podcast here, this episode is ideally, going to add a, add
- 0:46some value for you. If you were laid off, or if
- 0:50you're really struggling with that, transition of, where do I
- 0:53go from here? So, I hear you, I see you.
- 0:57And I just want to give you as much value as possible, and stay
- 1:01tuned towards the end because I've got some next steps for you
- 1:04to follow. Hi, I'm Rachel O'Meara, I'm the
- 1:11host of the podcast. I'm also the author of pause,
- 1:16harnessing, the life changing power of giving yourself a
- 1:18break, as well as a private coach for men and women who are
- 1:24struggling with, how to get out of overwhelm and reclaim their
- 1:28lives. The pause cast is dedicated to
- 1:31helping individuals, learn the tools and be more self-aware.
- 1:36That we can all be more capable of to live our best life, to
- 1:41reach our potential. Whether this is your first time
- 1:43listening or you're a regular, I invite you to download my free
- 1:48gift to you, which is a blueprint called the three keys
- 1:51to stay out of overwhelm and Thrive.
- 1:54The blueprint is available at my website, www.hiwayfx.com get it
- 2:01today. So you can start to implement
- 2:03these tools that we can all learn and that's what the The
- 2:06paws cast is all about. you're laid off now, what I want to
- 2:14talk about three uncomfortable truths about layoffs, and if you
- 2:20don't know me or my story, I wasn't laid off per se, but I
- 2:25could tell you, I've been in the room where I had the choice to
- 2:28be laid off back in 2008 double-click, I also took a
- 2:35leave of absence, because I feared being laid off, I feared
- 2:39being told that I wasn't going to make the cut in the future or
- 2:45that, I just wanted to beat them to it, so to speak before they
- 2:48laid me off and, and get out of my predicament, which really
- 2:52prompted. This whole turn of my career
- 2:55turn of my life was different as a result.
- 2:58And all of, this is what I'm sharing because I burned out of
- 3:01Google over 10 years ago now, but it really gave me a sense of
- 3:09a lot of things. I'm going to talk.
- 3:10In particular that you are not your job, you are not your
- 3:13identity as work. And what will you do if you
- 3:18don't feel aligned? And to me that's what I did.
- 3:21So for me, my story is a little different.
- 3:23I didn't get laid off per se, but a pause is an intentional
- 3:28shift in behavior and so I took a three-month unpaid break and 2
- 3:32and I really use that time to assess what I wanted and where I
- 3:36wanted to go. I was very intentional about it
- 3:38because I knew what I knew, I knew I and want to stay on the
- 3:41path. I was on, it wasn't working for
- 3:43me. I felt horrible.
- 3:45I felt like a failure most of the time completely and anxiety
- 3:50fear up and down the Wazoo. I just felt like this can't be
- 3:55it. This can't be the way that it's
- 3:56supposed to feel that I'm supposed to feel along all the
- 4:00time. And so today this is I think a
- 4:05way to think about things, you know, if I look at my story and
- 4:08then all the things I've learned, so I Studying emotional
- 4:11intelligence as a result of burning out because I was.
- 4:14So unaware of how I was feeling, because it got me into that
- 4:18predicament and I talked about all these different pauses in
- 4:23the book pause. So I actually think the book
- 4:26pause is a great resource. While you're on a force pause or
- 4:29you're in transition. So hey if you want to read that
- 4:32it's available in Amazon on audiobook.
- 4:36Grab it pause. You'll see it there.
- 4:39It's my My my contribution based on all the lessons that I
- 4:43learned and you'll learn and pick up so many tools based in
- 4:45emotional intelligence and stories, including one from my
- 4:48friend, Joe who was on a forced pause, this layoff from Time
- 4:52Warner at the time bash. So when I, when I think about
- 4:58pausing and layoffs, I talk about these four signs.
- 5:01You know, you need a pause, and the fourth sign is that there is
- 5:06a challenge. So you feel like you are You're
- 5:10in the headlights and there's this big challenge in front of
- 5:12you. Now it might be a layoff, it
- 5:14might be a Health Challenge, it might be a big decision.
- 5:18That is perplexing you. It could be a family crisis.
- 5:23Like it could be anything relationship but in that I would
- 5:26say a challenge in most cases and 99.9% is a layoff, right?
- 5:30You all of a sudden go from a structured world with with, with
- 5:35control over what you make over, how you show up your job, you
- 5:39have responsibilities It's actually a very tightly
- 5:42structured space usually and then all of a sudden you're just
- 5:45let go like boom released into the wild.
- 5:48Like whoa. So first know that that is a
- 5:51sign even even if you didn't even if you're still reeling in
- 5:55shock or if you don't know what to do, next know that this is an
- 5:59opportunity, It's actually an opportunity for you to think
- 6:03about things in a little different way.
- 6:05We're going to get into that so just know that really This is a
- 6:09challenge as we all know, but it also means okay.
- 6:11Wow, I am an intentional shift in Behavior right now and I can
- 6:16do something different. And I think that that's a really
- 6:19important thing to remember, because a lot of times we just
- 6:23think we got to move on, push them clouds through to do
- 6:26something different. And that's just not the case.
- 6:28In fact, that's probably the worst thing that you can do
- 6:32because you're in shock, your in trauma, there is healing to
- 6:36happen. Whether that just means, even in
- 6:38a way, grieving the loss of what you were doing, right?
- 6:42And even if it doesn't even matter if you loved or hated
- 6:45Your Role. Like it's and Could be anything
- 6:48like that but it's an opportunity for you to take a
- 6:51time out literally and pause because that's what can be
- 6:57different. So I want to read to you a
- 7:01little bit just because it's in this book, I got the book pause
- 7:04in front of me so sign for right?
- 7:06I just talked about this a major life event challenge or change
- 7:09happens. And I read this as a reminder
- 7:13because even when I read it, now here I am years later, reading
- 7:16this book, I'm like, oh yeah, that's so important.
- 7:21And so, I just pass this along, right?
- 7:22So change is inevitable and pausing to assess your options
- 7:27or before your next move is a prime opportunity to Choose
- 7:31Wisely. Pauline is one way to allow
- 7:33yourself the space to evaluate your choices and aligned with
- 7:37what matters to you. I think that's really key.
- 7:40It could be driven by your yearnings.
- 7:41Or what is most important? These yearnings are your deeper
- 7:44desires or maybe it's an opportunity to do something
- 7:46different, right? The key.
- 7:47She is that you allow yourself this time to pause.
- 7:51It might be a breath. It might be taking the week to
- 7:55really figure out what you want. It could be several months and
- 7:58like maybe your, you're fortunate enough to have a
- 8:00severance package, but the idea is that you create a new
- 8:03opportunity for thoughts and emotions and new Behavior to
- 8:07emerge. The bottom line is, when we do
- 8:10pause, can have a really profound effect on what flows
- 8:13from there. So that's from the book, and
- 8:16that's I just kind of read page 25, maybe that gives you some
- 8:20some thought, some inspiration to know that things can be
- 8:23different. But if we're intentional about
- 8:26it, then we can actually shift our own energy into what we
- 8:30want. And now I'm going to get into
- 8:32that in a little bit towards the end to about what we put out
- 8:36there as we express, as we share, as we do, and go about
- 8:40our business can be completely going, go in another Direction.
- 8:45And if we really intended to be received, well, alright, so now
- 8:50that you know what, a, what a pauses and a force pauses and
- 8:54talked a little bit about my story.
- 8:56I want to get into these uncomfortable truths about
- 8:58layoffs and I think the first thing is A big one and it's a
- 9:05hard truth. And the first one is your
- 9:07identity is not your work and say that one with me, my
- 9:13identity is not my work and just take a breath into that and just
- 9:18feel your body like where do you feel that tension and even if
- 9:23you weren't laid off, right? Like that's a that's a universal
- 9:25fact, but I think, as, as awesome Achievers, taipei's
- 9:31people who've done really well and successfully made made a
- 9:34mark for themselves, it's so easy to get wrapped up in that,
- 9:38but that's the thing we have to remember, your identity is not
- 9:41your work, you can be proud of your work, it can be something
- 9:45you put out there in the world and see as a tangible.
- 9:48Object like, hey look, I done this.
- 9:50Like this is a result of who I am and what I've contributed but
- 9:54it is not. You you are so so much bigger,
- 9:57so much greater than just what is defined in a cord job and I
- 10:00think we forget that. I know that's why I burned out.
- 10:03I thought that was everything. And all of a sudden, I felt
- 10:06horrible. I felt like a failure.
- 10:08I felt like I was always in a mental tailspin because my whole
- 10:11identity was wrapped up in what I what I did mostly and even if
- 10:15it wasn't I thought temporarily that it was because It was so
- 10:18much of my own Focus so know that your value is far greater
- 10:25than work. And this particular job,
- 10:29whatever you are doing right now in your career is like is like a
- 10:33stepping stone. It's, it's where you're at now.
- 10:36It's a point in time and you are infinite.
- 10:42Whether it's your power, whether it's your thoughts, whether it's
- 10:46what you want to do, and your dreams, and Zone of possibility
- 10:50and even Beyond Death, your infinite, right?
- 10:52You have a soul and your energy is felt by others.
- 10:56I mean, that's like what we're really getting to write.
- 10:58And I'm getting a little bit metaphysical here, but just
- 11:02know, I think the biggest thing is your identity is not your
- 11:05work. And I think if you're feeling
- 11:07that shock and the Aftershock of a layoff or maybe you were, the
- 11:10one doing that as a manager or director and you're feeling just
- 11:14tremendous guilt, right? Just know that this is not Not
- 11:18about you. This is you as a person, this
- 11:20is, this is about what the business needs.
- 11:24The ideas that I think the bottom line.
- 11:26We just forget that especially if we're if we really like what
- 11:28we do or we are contributing in ways where it's like a lot of
- 11:35what we're about these days, right?
- 11:36And that's why it's so important to know that you can expand what
- 11:40you think of as your identity Beyond work.
- 11:42Big-time and pausing is one really powerful way to do that,
- 11:46right? Even if that's just journaling
- 11:48Big, big fan of journaling because it's an opportunity to
- 11:52get your unconscious mind unraveled a little bit to get
- 11:55thoughts down on paper that you wouldn't otherwise have
- 11:57realized. So then you get new insights and
- 12:00like, oh holy cow! I didn't even know that I felt
- 12:04this way and I encourage you, and this is an invitation, you
- 12:08know, just to take a journalist, I would, I would actually say,
- 12:12don't do it on electronics. Don't put it in a dock, it
- 12:15electronically. Don't type it, your mind.
- 12:18And your brain are wired so that when you actually use a pen or
- 12:22pencil on paper, you are thinking in processing
- 12:25differently than your thoughts when you're typing, it's a
- 12:28different effect. So go old school, take a journal
- 12:32and write, I am such a big fan of that and it's for you.
- 12:36You don't have to share with anybody.
- 12:37And even just set a timer for two minutes, just try it.
- 12:40You know, there's been studies done and I talked about this in
- 12:43the book as well. But even journaling for 42
- 12:46minutes, over four days about Thing emotional, meaning that
- 12:49matters to you, improve mood. I mean, that's a pretty big
- 12:54deal, right? Four days.
- 12:55Two minutes, A total of eight minutes.
- 12:56So there's a lot there. I think that we can glean from
- 12:59so knowing that you're not your work, right?
- 13:02This is what I want you to think about.
- 13:04You get to design your path from this point forward, and maybe
- 13:08you've already done that cool. Now, you get to take the next
- 13:11step, intentional shift in Behavior, right?
- 13:13So that you can journal on to. But the idea is that, remember
- 13:17you Like we get so wrapped up in work that we think that is us an
- 13:22individual's. But the reality is we are simply
- 13:25here doing these jobs that we need to do and they are valuable
- 13:29and they're great and they succeed the sustain our
- 13:32lifestyle and we contribute, and we can feel valued and seeing
- 13:35and make a difference and all of these things.
- 13:38However, it's just not all of you, but we forget that.
- 13:41So, I'm here to remind you, that your identity is not your work.
- 13:44That's the first uncomfortable truth and it's a big one.
- 13:46So if you need time, Time to process that if you're noticing,
- 13:50you want to stop this podcast right now and forget about it.
- 13:54That's a great noticing awareness to to know that.
- 13:57That resistance just means there's there it is
- 14:00uncomfortable. There's fear here, just notice
- 14:02how you're feeling right now. Maybe you're feeling Joy because
- 14:05you're like, hey oh my God, thank you for saying that.
- 14:08Look, I don't want it to be my identity.
- 14:10So we have a choice and we get a choice to think about how we
- 14:14want to move forward. And that's the beauty I think of
- 14:16a pots, right? Okay, so let's get to the second
- 14:20uncomfortable truth, right? You ready for this one?
- 14:23This one's a big one and I think in the corporate world it's a
- 14:25little different and challenging to think about.
- 14:27But what I like to say is, you cannot think your way out of an
- 14:31identity crisis. Just can't think it out of your
- 14:35way or out of, you can't get out of it, just thinking
- 14:38intellectualizing this and that would be like a forced to pause.
- 14:42Right. What do I mean by that?
- 14:44And what do you think about that?
- 14:45I'm curious. Do you feel like that's just
- 14:47like Easy, or are you getting what?
- 14:50I'm picking up, what I'm putting down now, why can't you think
- 14:54your way out of it? So so we have what we call a
- 14:57body, being a little silly here but you know we are intellectual
- 15:01especially working in corporate check and if you're a corporate
- 15:04leader, an executive, you know, we live from the neck up, a lot
- 15:07of times from the in the, in the day job, right?
- 15:11I don't know. This is a rough.
- 15:12Like, if you're an athlete, if you use your body great like,
- 15:14but I'm not talking about that because we have a full body from
- 15:17the neck. Chuck down.
- 15:18We have an entire landscape where we can connect and Q in
- 15:22and see how we're feeling so that we can respond to others in
- 15:26a, in a way, that moves things forward so that we can know
- 15:30where we're at. So we might need a minute to
- 15:32regroup, or we might choose different responses if we're
- 15:35able to actually understand where we're at in a quick moment
- 15:39to not just knee-jerk react or defend ourselves but to do
- 15:42something different, so you can't think your way out of an
- 15:45identity crisis. So you can Journal You want, you
- 15:48can do all these things and that's a really good thing.
- 15:50I'm not saying, don't think about it.
- 15:53What I'm saying is we need to heal and it's somatic, meaning,
- 15:57it's our. It involves our bodies, our
- 15:59bodies store at a cellular level, in the fascia.
- 16:04Emotions from everything. Whether they, you know, whether
- 16:08they've been recent or in the past that still needs to heal,
- 16:12and we're adding that, in, in a big event, like this, if you are
- 16:17laid off, right? So we need to acknowledge what's
- 16:20going on in our bodies and that's where we see things like
- 16:23physical. Ailments show up by all my back
- 16:25hurts. My lower back is killing me.
- 16:27I can't figure out why I'm not moving the way I used to move or
- 16:30I don't feel like I want to do anything, right.
- 16:34That's that's a motivation issue but it's also physical motion.
- 16:39Sometimes so we have to do things to not just do
- 16:43intellectual things, which are great and helpful, but we need
- 16:46to complement it with help in healing, from our neck down
- 16:51because we are a holistic self, right?
- 16:53You are not just your thoughts, you are not just your mind, you
- 16:56are a full person, you are a human, right?
- 16:59So I work a lot in the modality of breathwork breathwork is Way
- 17:04to heal trauma and the body. And it can be so simple and
- 17:08effective and Powerful because you change the chemistry of your
- 17:12body, your blood oxygen levels, change your intentional, you're
- 17:16bringing your energy online as opposed to autopilot, when we're
- 17:19just breathing normally. And, and so that's a wonderful
- 17:24tool and if you're in, and there's other ways, as well,
- 17:27right? So, there's meditation, there's
- 17:30getting outside in nature, but what I'm saying is we're doing
- 17:33Do you notice this in your body and maybe you can't even feel
- 17:36anything in your body? Like you don't know where it is,
- 17:39you just feel maybe a little bit sad or angry, right?
- 17:43Like like all of this is important data I think of it as
- 17:46data. I have a practice on Mondays
- 17:50called mindset Mondays it's a 30-minute usually breathwork
- 17:56specific free webinar that I do and it's part of my other
- 18:00organization. The startup incubator Basic at
- 18:05your studio but I'm inviting all of you who do listen to this to
- 18:08join us. It's on Eventbrite and you can
- 18:10sign up and I'll put the link in the show notes, show notes.
- 18:12But it's the first three Mondays of every month for breath work.
- 18:16Then I also do private, one-on-one sessions.
- 18:18I do workshops, I do every Friday in my Facebook group, we
- 18:23do a little bit of breathing, so the key is just to introduce it
- 18:27to yourself. There's a lot going on in that
- 18:29world. It's actually one of the most
- 18:31popular fast accelerating Oh dalit.
- 18:34He's and a lot of times, like the biggest thing I hear is, oh,
- 18:37I don't have time. Like I don't think breathing
- 18:38hurt solves anything. Like what do you what do you
- 18:40mean? Like breathing.
- 18:41I'm I breathe all the time. Well yeah you do and nothing.
- 18:46Nothing wrong with that. However when we make it
- 18:48intentional and again this is a pause.
- 18:50Right? This is conscious breath.
- 18:53We're actually moving energy. We're moving our own state of
- 18:57being. So maybe we go from feeling all
- 18:59frumpy and sad too expansive and liberated, right?
- 19:03That's All normal reaction, sometimes.
- 19:05It just depends in every experience is unique, but the
- 19:08bottom line is, no, that you can't just think your way out of
- 19:11an identity crisis or out of a layoff because we have these
- 19:16bodies where we're going to remember this shock, and it's
- 19:20going to come back unless we really acknowledge what's going
- 19:22on. And I can tell you as an
- 19:24executive coach, as a leadership coach.
- 19:27Most? Well, not most, but I'll just
- 19:29say there's many, many individuals, who, just don't
- 19:33think it's important. Portent to acknowledge that body
- 19:36part like your own body and then you know what the research is
- 19:39telling us more and more now that we have MRI scans and you
- 19:44know the power of learning about our body and healing trauma, is
- 19:48we've now been able to in the in the land even like the last 20
- 19:52years in research and Neuroscience and things like
- 19:54that is that you know, they're there is this mind body and it's
- 19:58like a tuning fork. So whatever we're experiencing
- 20:01gets stored in the body unless we address.
- 20:03Is it and can actually allow it to be completed, whether that
- 20:08means expressing feelings, just saying them out loud or things
- 20:11like breathwork, okay? So that's an uncomfortable truth
- 20:14to how you feeling about that one.
- 20:16Take a deep breath with me. I don't like that one myself.
- 20:22I'm like what do you mean? I can't think my way out of it.
- 20:24A lot of us are as my old coach Bob Wright would say smart rats.
- 20:28We are smart rats. We love to think and, and we
- 20:32wouldn't be where we are today with.
- 20:33We weren't smart, right? So, the key is to know that
- 20:36there is so much more of you that is intelligent.
- 20:39And yes, it is your thoughts, but it's also your body.
- 20:43You have a gut brain, your heart brain, all of these things need
- 20:45to work together and if we ignore those, we are leaving
- 20:48part of us behind and that's where we end up.
- 20:51Getting sick, we get diseases, illnesses kick in because we're
- 20:55not really honoring our full on self in my opinion.
- 20:58That's really where I stand with that.
- 21:01Okay? And so let's get to the third
- 21:03uncomfortable truth. Oh my gosh, this one is his
- 21:06business. Such a good one.
- 21:07I love this one. So the third one is man.
- 21:10Okay, you are in the pause menu are laid off your in this
- 21:15unknown. You're basically in the unknown.
- 21:17Right? Well, what is that all about?
- 21:20So You're in the unknown. What is the feeling that you
- 21:24feel? As I say that?
- 21:26I know for me and most other people, the unknown is really
- 21:30scary. It's not comfortable, and it's
- 21:33out of our comfort zone because we can't control anything.
- 21:36We are a lot of us interested in controlling things, right?
- 21:40So I talked about how much courage it takes to pause in
- 21:45this world, so just know that you are so courageous right now,
- 21:49knowing you're not in a structured environment, if you
- 21:52were laid off or that you are going to be soon.
- 21:54Like, maybe with Severance running out.
- 21:56Something. And I also talked about this in
- 21:59the book pause because we are so afraid to be with ourselves.
- 22:04Sometimes, this is such a crazy uncomfortable, truth, like,
- 22:06whose group squirming in their seats right now, or walking.
- 22:09Its you listen to this. And, and one of my one of my
- 22:15scholar practitioners, I studied, you may have heard of
- 22:17Paul tillich and he wrote a book called courage to be and he's an
- 22:21extent, existentialist philosopher.
- 22:24He talks about courage, which is defined as the ability to do
- 22:28something that you know, is difficult or dangerous.
- 22:32Courage is the ability to do something that, you know, is
- 22:34difficult or dangerous brene Brown talks about courage, that
- 22:38you, it's, you have, it's required to be vulnerable to be
- 22:41courageous, right? To put yourself out there to do
- 22:44something, dangerous is being vulnerable, so automatically
- 22:49courage, takes vulnerability, and it takes knowing that you're
- 22:54doing something difficult or dangerous.
- 22:56And so to me that pause process, this layoff world is courage.
- 23:00It means you're okay, knowing You're in that uncertain
- 23:03outcome, it means letting go of control and surrendering to this
- 23:07present time, your present moment, right?
- 23:10Whatever that might be, this is a tremendous Act of Courage.
- 23:14And to talk about it takes courage to take action to
- 23:18journal takes courage. Like just give yourself some
- 23:20credit, a lot of times. It's so easy to think of
- 23:26shameful thoughts or eyeballing it.
- 23:28I do to deserve this. We can get into self-pity mode,
- 23:31man, all of that is very likely possible outcomes but go back to
- 23:36the snowing, you have a choice saying, hey, you know what,
- 23:39like, this is actually pretty courageous.
- 23:41I don't know what I'm going to do.
- 23:43I don't know how I'm going to get through this.
- 23:44I don't know what that, what lays on the other side, but
- 23:47you're in that blank space of a pause of this layoff.
- 23:51Entrust yourself to know that even though it feels scary,
- 23:55there is another side, you are going to come out on the other
- 23:59side, you are a capable competent, individual who can do
- 24:05something different. And when we feel rattled a
- 24:08little bit example, right? Being laid off, then we get our
- 24:12confidence gets a little little bit just Disturbed and then we
- 24:18all back when we decide, okay forget that, I'm not going to Do
- 24:22something. I'm not saying don't do what you
- 24:23want to do and this is why it's so important to do the things.
- 24:25I'm talking about, like journaling, do things with your
- 24:28body. Like it's going to bring in new
- 24:30insights for you, because your brain is making conscious
- 24:33unconscious connections with your conscious 95% of your brain
- 24:38is programming subconscious programming.
- 24:40So we need to do things to bring things up, that will help us
- 24:43move through this in a good way, right?
- 24:45So those are the three things, you know, Sokka.
- 24:49So knowing that you're in the unknown know that you are
- 24:51Courageous. It takes courage to be yourself
- 24:53and be like, who am I? Okay, I'm not my job.
- 24:57What do I want? What would fit my world now,
- 25:02right? And maybe you're in an
- 25:03environment where you don't have a big crazy choice and you're
- 25:06going to do the same thing. That's okay, it's all good.
- 25:09Just know that this is also choice in for what is next for
- 25:13you. You always have a choice.
- 25:15You have a choice to defer, looking for a job for two weeks,
- 25:19because you're grieving this process, right?
- 25:23You are you have a choice to share an Press and and that's
- 25:28what I actually really think is important during this time,
- 25:32right? So real quick recap, the
- 25:35uncomfortable truth. One is you are not your work and
- 25:38you say that one out loud with me.
- 25:39I am not my work. Number two, you can't think your
- 25:42way out of an identity crisis. Number three is, you are in the
- 25:47unknown and you can come on out of it, the other side and
- 25:51they're all probably resonant fourth feelings like feeling
- 25:56fear. Doubtful, maybe, sad hurt, angry
- 26:02mean. These are big, big, big things.
- 26:04And so how do we handle all of this, right?
- 26:06So this is, I think so important, right?
- 26:09And remember, like, I just so see you and feel you right now
- 26:14because you're only like, we are all human and we have feelings
- 26:18and yours might have felt a little trampled on, right?
- 26:21Or you feel rage because what the heck?
- 26:24I work for this company for 20 years and now I'm not.
- 26:27Even there and I just didn't even get a gun anything other
- 26:29than like, sorry, you're gone. Right?
- 26:33So we got a handle our energy in a way that really serves us.
- 26:36And I'll try to wrap this up quickly here, but also overall
- 26:40know that your energy is what's received in the world.
- 26:44So if you are complaining, bitching, blaming shaming,
- 26:52justifying, whatever, whatever is going on for, you know, that
- 26:55that's what's received. So, You're probably, you know,
- 26:58what comes around goes around, right?
- 26:59So we need to allow ourselves to shift out of that.
- 27:03And again, you have a choice to act responsibly to to, to share
- 27:08responsibly. I'm not saying that that's not
- 27:11valued, but allow yourself maybe two minutes, right?
- 27:14Give yourself the time or two minutes to complain or I'm going
- 27:17to I'm going to like stop around my house for a minute and I'm
- 27:21gonna have a good cry. Like whatever that is for you
- 27:23and then say okay it's not about me.
- 27:27Me while, I mean, in my own, pity, or, or feeling victimized
- 27:32because that's just not going to serve you.
- 27:33And that's actually really, really draining of your energy.
- 27:36The idea is to keep expressing but just name those feelings.
- 27:40It's so so important. I feel angry.
- 27:42I feel hurt. I feel upset, I feel sad.
- 27:45I feel terrified. Whatever.
- 27:47Is coming up for you. Just put that in your Journal,
- 27:50rip out the pages, tear them up, throw them, you know, throw them
- 27:52out, if you want to let go of those feelings but know that
- 27:55that's part of the process. Assessing, right?
- 27:57And that's why pausing is so key because you can't just move
- 28:00through that stuff. That's what gets stored in your
- 28:01body if you don't pay attention. So keep expressing naming those
- 28:06feelings and then I'm also so, so such a fan of gratitude and
- 28:11that practice where we Orient thinking towards the positive
- 28:15and that is so hard right now, right?
- 28:16But here's the thing, and I love sharing this, you are, it's
- 28:21actually physiologically impossible to feel anger and
- 28:27gratitude at the same time, like you body, your brain will not
- 28:30cannot process that. So if you are feeling angry, The
- 28:34antidote is to not acknowledge that and then turn it towards
- 28:38gratitude. Transmute that anger into.
- 28:40What am I going to do differently now?
- 28:42Okay, I'm going to be grateful for three things.
- 28:43When I wake up in the morning, right?
- 28:45We can all be grateful for that. Gratitude is so powerful.
- 28:50And if you need support or in your energy because this is
- 28:53hard, right? This is behavioral change.
- 28:56This is changing our thoughts. This is navigating the - our
- 28:59critic mind. That is so, so important.
- 29:03And that's that's That I spend a lot of my time coaching my
- 29:06clients in and I'm happy to share more about that if you'd
- 29:10like, just like that direct message me and I can send you
- 29:13some tools, just direct message me energy like that word energy
- 29:16and I can follow up. So this brings us to next steps
- 29:19which is basically a messaging if you want more support this
- 29:24podcast, you know, I would like this comes out weekly every
- 29:26Tuesday. And I really holding these
- 29:30messages for corporate leaders and Executives who are ready to
- 29:33rise to their the next level level of leadership.
- 29:36And again, the sign of a layoff is maybe a sign for your next
- 29:39level of leadership. Whether that means being more
- 29:42authentic, getting a new job, maybe it's a lateral move, maybe
- 29:45it's a new company, maybe it's going out on your own.
- 29:48It's all good stuff. You don't have to dismiss
- 29:50anything right now. Right.
- 29:51But the idea is that these podcasts are here for you.
- 29:55Got a lot of resources here, you can listen to a bunch so
- 29:58subscribe because I'll be having more coming your way and you
- 30:02don't want to miss anything join my face.
- 30:04Book groups, and my Facebook group is called pause to thrive
- 30:07feminine leadership tools, and it's for physical mental,
- 30:11emotional, and spiritual growth. And it is primarily for women,
- 30:16but it's really for anyone who wants to join us.
- 30:18So, you can find me here in the show notes as well, and it's
- 30:21called be the pause. I go live there every Friday
- 30:25with videos. I talked about trainings that I
- 30:29have sessions where you can ask me anything.
- 30:30We do live coaching. I do breath work in there.
- 30:33It's really good. Good for just touching base if
- 30:36you want to regular Cadence of learning things about how to be
- 30:40more, feels confident, calm, energized, things like that.
- 30:45So I just gave you a lot. A lot of info.
- 30:47I hope this was helpful for, you know, that you are not alone.
- 30:50I see you and I am with you and you'll get through this.
- 30:56This is actually maybe the Silver Lining is the gift where
- 31:01you get to redesign your life in this.
- 31:04Pause period. This Force pause because you
- 31:07realize there are there is more for you or there is something
- 31:11different for you and I'm just so excited to see where you go
- 31:14and help and support you. Thank you for looking for tuning
- 31:18in and leave me a direct message.
- 31:20If this helped you can leave that on, anchored out FM message
- 31:23me, DM me on Instagram, Rachel underscore, O'Mara, or you can
- 31:28join my group be the paws on Facebook.
- 31:30I'm on LinkedIn. You can LinkedIn with me.
- 31:32It's all good stuff. Thank you.
- 31:34Thank you. Thank you.
- 31:35Have a wonderful day and much love.
- 31:43Thanks for listening today. To the pause cast.
- 31:46If you haven't already, please subscribe, so that you don't
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