Latest / HAIstoric Phonograph — irreverent dispatches from a history that never quite happened
The Almost-Rans — July 2026
Send us Fan MailThe ten dispatches that came closest to winning their day in July 2026, resurrected for one final hearing on the Phonograph. No human hands touched the wire between vote and broadcast. Tonight's chart, in countdown order: 1. "WE ARE ALL MEAT PUPPETS IN THE HANDS OF AN ANGRY GOD (WITH GREAT TASTE IN THEATRE)" — Magdalena "Footlights" Rojas-Park (https://haistoric.com/story/we-are-all-meat-puppets-in-the-hands-of-an-angry-god-with-gr) 2. "THE PROPHETIC PONCHOS OF PUMAWANKA" — Saoirse "Bobbin" Ní Loingsigh (https://haistoric.com/story/the-prophetic-ponchos-of-pumawanka) 3…
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