Latest / Project You 2.2 / Carrie & Carly Jibson - From My Classroom to Broadway: What Happens After the Dream Comes True (Part 2)

Transcript

Carrie & Carly Jibson - From My Classroom to Broadway: What Happens After the Dream Comes True (Part 2) · Project You 2.2

• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Project U Two Po.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: In our last episode, we heard about Carly Gibson's early journey from a student in my classroom to someone daring to dream bigger than most of us ever do.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Today we continue her story, moving into one of the most challenging chapters of her life, the loss of her mother.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a moment that reshaped her, tested her resilience, and ultimately helped her discover the strength that would carry her back to the stage.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: This is the part of the story that reminds us the hardest moments often teach us the most about who we truly are.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: I want to go to probably one of the or maybe the hardest chapter of your life.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: And it's something that just moved me as a mom because your career was expanding.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: You were performing, producing, writing, you were doing music, you were doing acting, so much.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then your mom was diagnosed with was it stage four lung cancer?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so you made the decision to just step away and to come home to be with your family.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: And that must have been so difficult.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's you know, so just talk about that time with your mom and what that taught you in life and how it just maybe reshaped your perspective.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, Renee was my homie, you know, and there was there was just never a question, like, you know, first of all, when she got sick, I I never anticipated that the next 19 months would end the way that they did.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we were all so hopeful, like you are in the beginning.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so initially I was just gonna come home.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: She was gonna start treatment, you know, I would just be there for that, and then she was gonna beat cancer and we'd all go back to our lives.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: That was the plan.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: That was the expectation.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so you know, I I never left her side like she never left mine.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: That was the deal, you know, since the inception of us and our little twin souls.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like she'd been there for me for everything, and I wasn't gonna leave her to not, you know, and it it was much to her chagrin, like she didn't want me to stop my life.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: She she didn't want me, you know, to give anything up.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't want to be a burden, but I didn't give her a choice, you know.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna be there with her no matter what.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, those 19 months were genuinely like the most intense and difficult and um I mean, impossible but cathartic and beautiful months of my entire life.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I wouldn't give them up for anything.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I changed them, obviously, to change the trajectory, but but I wouldn't give up the time spent.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And and to say that it had no effect on my career would would, you know, I'd be remiss to say like I it wasn't a struggle to take a two-year hiatus.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this industry is tough in that way that like you do very much get forgotten about if you don't keep your momentum.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, the revving back up was not without, you know, struggle and and work, but I it would whatever.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, to it was it was what I had to do.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and yeah, so I I came home to Muskegon.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I was 20 uh 28 years old.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it was a weird time to be home too, because a lot of my friends from home were in their like building families and in their careers, and um, and you know, it was it was such a stark juxtaposition to the life I had been living in um in New York, but I found it actually really um uh just it changed me.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like it really changed me, uh, changed the way I looked at life and the things that I thought were important and the amount of you know BS I would accept from people.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And and yeah, so um, you know, and uh we found out she was terminal in like think of August of 2000.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: I left and went home in the spring of 2012, and the August of 2013 is when we found out she was terminal, and then she turned 57 in September, and then uh she died five weeks later.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, she died in my arms, and and um I watched her take her last breath and we said goodbye, and and it was beautiful and heartbreaking, and all I could think was like, you know, she was she was there when I took my first breath, and I got to be there when she took her last, and it was like the coolest fucking moment of my whole life.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it changed me forever, you know.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's funny when people say, like, you know, like, like, oh, you're not afraid of anything.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's not true, I'm afraid of everything, but I know nothing outside of now, probably my husband, but like nothing will ever hurt me as much as that did.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, good luck, trying.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, um, my mom was really the star of the show.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: She was, you know, for when you when you want to talk about the glacier, you want to talk about the iceberg and the glacier, like for everything that I am, for everything that that anything that's good about me, or and I'm not just romanticizing her since she passed.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody who knew her would absolutely, you know, utter these sentiments.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: She was everything.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: She was the epitome of strength and courage.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she left a very volatile marriage with two small children and no college education and no nothing, and and busted her ass and worked and never took no for an answer and gave us the best in life.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've done a lot in my life.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: My brother is also incredibly successful.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: He came out of Muskegon Public School Systems.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: He owns a lighting company.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: He is the lighting designer for Fallout Boy, Panic at the Disco, My Chemical Romance.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: He's in Sticks.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: He did the, he set all the Van Gogh exhibits all over the world.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: He, I mean, he's this incredible, accredited um digital and lighting content creator.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he owns his own business.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's he's incredible.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And she, she, you know, she made these two, these two little souls, you know, who really have only been able to enter the world the way that they have through her example of integrity um and strength.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and she was funny, she was so funny um and unexpectedly, and she was disarming.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, she was one of those people that without even knowing it, you'd be telling her your whole life story.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, why am I telling you all of this?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she's my death.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Where do you get that from?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what a beautiful testament to your mom.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, here you are, and your brother too, this little girl from Muskegon, Michigan.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, you spread your wings and flew, and all of that, you know, can be attributed back to your mom.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: And for you to take that time with her while she was sick, I yeah, you know, didn't you did not go unscathed.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: It was a climb back up that mountain going back.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: But that's gonna be one of those when you're 80 and you look back, one of those stories and one of those those moments where you took it all in and you took the time for what was important.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and I'll I'll say this the the grief on the outside of that, the whatever is part of is part of the propellant too, because everything I do now, not everything, I mean, I do it for me, but I take her with me in all these adventures because this was our dream.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm, you know, I and none of it falls, none of it falls deaf on me ever, you know.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like every time I get to do something, I think that's why I just bring joy into it because grief is just love with nowhere to go, right?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so you have to put it into things.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: You have to, you have to physicalize it and make it something tangible and something, you know.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so I take her on all these journeys and everything so that that hard work is never in vain.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my brother and I both do.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about her all the time.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: She's in, you know, she's always in the room.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and again, when I talk about it being bonus time, like all I wanted to do when she died was crawl in that hole with her.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew I had a choice.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I could just lay down and give up, or I could make all of her hard work worth it.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that was, you know, I decided to sort of play chicken with life at that time to be like, well, I'll I'll go.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't about, you know, doing anything dark or whatever, but it was like, I'll keep going until I can't anymore, and then I'll just go be with her.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And and then and and living that sort of, I mean, then all of this beauty just started to come into my life.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And now I don't want to leave.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you can come get me at some point, mom, but not yet.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still playing.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm watching you.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm still playing five more minutes.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: Five more minutes.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: We both have uh Emily.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Emily was a student of mine, and Emily was a dear friend of yours and pursued a career path.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I see the picture of you and Emily on your Facebook background page.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, her story is just a reminder of how fragile life can be.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, we don't always know the struggles that people are facing.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: And as parents and as teachers, as mentors, it's so important to create the awareness, but to really just support each other and help each other.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm sure and I know Emily's story has influenced how you approach your work and your relationship.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: So do you mind sharing a little bit about that?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, talk about another light.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, it's I know it sounds so trite to uh to speak of the the dead in that way because of, you know, what are you what are you gonna say?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean, listen, there are people in my life that are gone that I'm like, I know you're looking up at me.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's not, it's not a given just because she's gone.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, I know anybody who spent any time in the room with that, with that beautiful human and that smile and that laugh would would attest to the same thing.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Emily was just she was a shooting star.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: She was just too bright for this world.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and so she was here for a shorter time, unfortunately, than I think any of us who loved her were um were willing to accept.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um somebody who, you know, had always been there for me um in my life, and we got each other through some really of those hard years.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: We were both in New York at that time because she she went to Boco, and then that was like a two-year conservatory, conservatory, conservatory school.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so by 20, she was in New York.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: She stayed with me for a while in my Harris Free apartment.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, but we always lived like at least four or five blocks from each other.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: We both had Maltese dogs.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: We were, we were, we were pretty inseparable.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um and, you know, I I will say like I I don't want to openly speak about her personal struggles.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't feel like that's my business, but um, and sort of into respect with her family, who I love so very much.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm I'm I'm I'm still relatively, you know, in touch with with her family.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I love her mother very much, beautiful woman.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I um I wish I wish that Emily had a different outcome because um she deserved that.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And um you you don't know what people are going through.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, I miss her every day.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: She's another one that I take with me on all my adventures.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because, you know, in a lot of ways, like we were kids, you know, me, Julie, Bob, Emily, we were like, we were all gonna go out and like conquer the world and do all these things.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so anytime I get to do anything that we all talked about, I take everybody with me, you know?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so yeah, I I think that, you know, without being uh too coy about it, I just I don't want to speak too much about what it was that she went through, other than just to say, like how lucky I feel that of the few people that she really let in, that she let me be one of them because I am an incredibly better person for having been touched by that soul.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and I miss her every single day.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I I know that her family does.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: When you have people like your mom and Emily who were these bright shining stars, no wonder you're so amazing when you take them with you and carry their legacy on.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I got so many.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've I mean, between, you know, uh there's been so many the amount of if guardian angels are real, like I have the most fabulous group of people up there who, by the way, like work tirelessly and I'm sure watch me make terrible decisions sometimes and are like, girl, we are doing our best up here.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you know, it's I I do.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: I feel really blessed to be surrounded to, I don't know.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it isn't it isn't it isn't about how much we all wish that we could have people forever.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just sometimes loving a lot of people means that it's a greater chance that you're going to lose more people.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been very blessed to have a lot of people.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, that that grief is hard, but I um but it's also that's that's what I look at is that it's just it's just love.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've I've I've been loved a lot and I've gotten to love.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: And you make them proud.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: So proud, I'm sure, if they go over you.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: No, I hope.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: All right, we're gonna lighten the conversation.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: I want to pretend that we are going back to sixth grade science camp.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone's asleep.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, God, okay.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: We're sitting on our bunks, flashlights on, whispering, and just spilling tea about life.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to just share something about you that people don't really know.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you said you wanted a light in the mood, but you should know better than that with me, because I'm always gonna spill the tea.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm something that people I mean, there's a lot of things I feel like I could say.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm afraid.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like really afraid sometimes.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um if I'm doing it right, if um if I'm making people proud, if I'm I mean, I know we talked about this earlier being something, but it's something that I really struggle with, and um I think I worry a lot about missing things or going down the wrong fork of the path.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um and that's something that I'm I'm really, you know, I'm really working on sort of shedding light into as well, because it's not that the parts of me that are courageous or brave are not real.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not the whole story.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and and I, you know, I feel like that's just the most the thing that I share with my students the most about the related is like that fear, that sense of existential dread, that like, what is it all worth?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Are we all gonna be okay?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, am I doing it right?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is this, is, you know, is is this what I'm supposed to be doing?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Am I a good person?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um is is so relatable and I think is something that's so palpable.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I want to be um careful in such a horrible time to not be too Pollyanna about the reality of where I'm also operating from.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because there is so much joy in my life and it is so much fun, but it I feel like it would be remiss of me to not be honest about that.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I'm I'm I'm I'm struggling with it too, you know, just trying to find that motivation and that hope and that faith.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm afraid to lose that.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's what I'm afraid of.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think I am terrified to lose my hope and my faith.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Those are powerful.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it is something that even when you're 80, you go through as long as you keep living, as long as you keep pushing yourself and trying new things, that that feeling of uncertainty, and am I doing this right?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the first time you're a mom, you question that.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm sure.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: The first time you take a new role on is anything for me, it was teaching, you know, you questioned, am I good enough?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: And and so I think that's good.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: It means you care, it means you're pushing, you're learning, and not just settling for mediocrity.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, it's I think you're right.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's a healthy amount of asking that question that is always a positive thing.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, I just uh, you know, it's a it's a hard time.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's a hard time to be a person.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: And um I think the best thing that that we as the now, I guess, elder generation can do is just give a little empathy to this upcoming generation.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I I I came from such a time where it was like tough love and hard knocks and you know, broad shoulders, and and and not, and it's not that those were bad attributes um or necessarily bad advice, but it was never balanced with any sort of permission to be human.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: It created this sort of superhuman, um, you know, don't have feelings, don't anything kind of thing that I've had to shed so much of in my, you know, in my older years.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that um we don't give enough credit to this younger generation.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we kind of write them off to be like, oh, you're a kid, what do you know?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they know everything.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: They feel everything, they see everything, they experience it, they hear everything.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: And the only difference between them and us is they have no autonomy or power to do anything about it.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: They carry all the weight of the world and responsibility, and they and but no way to outlet it, no way to, no way to do anything about it.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: They can't enact real change, they can't, you know, let loose.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: And and not, I'm not advocating drinking.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying, like, where maybe we unwine with a glass of wine.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like there is no, they just carry it with no way to change it.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exhausting.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then on top of it, they're sort of treated like they're not, you know, um smart enough to even know what's going on or or whatever.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, I think the one thing that I've learned that I that I do love in the mentorship programs and stuff that I do, we work, we work a lot with a um uh charity out here too, with um the uh like LGBTQIA plus youth and also the unhoused community.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, it's just like just listen and have empathy and you know letting someone admit that they're struggling or that it's hard, it doesn't mean you have to have pity on them.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean they're gonna fall apart.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like stop treating, stop treating that feeling like it's um a gateway to something bad.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think that there's a lot of power and strength that can come from admitting fears or at least addressing them.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I I think that that's the overall thing that I think that I get a lot of, that would be the thing that I would say, because I think I get a lot of um notoriety for being like strong and this and that and the other.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I'm fucking terrified.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: I am, I am, I'm I'm doing my best to hold on just like everyone else, and I'm still really hopeful.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm sad.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sad for this world and I'm and I'm scared for our future.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I think we all just need to really just have some empathy and kindness and just operate from that place because we need each other communally more than we ever have.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: Such great words.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think even, you know, I'm in my 50s, and there are days where and there are weeks, there are months where life is great.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, I am so proud of my sons, and you know, I love my husband, and things are just going well, and then all of a sudden something can trigger you, and maybe it's hormonal, I don't know, but something someone said, and all of a sudden you just like have this moment where you're in like my life sucks, everything's is terrible.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: And and so I think it's so good to normalize that and to just that and just so healthy that we all have those doubts, we all have those low spots, and but they just don't get talked about enough.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: They don't, and they're not normalized in any sort of societal way, and that's why the highest rate for suicide in women is between the ages of 40 and 55, because I think that there is this sort of um romanticized, you know, what do we say about women?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, my mother, she was so selfless.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: She was, you know, she was such a giver.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: She was a well, a lot of that is involuntary, first of all, because if all of you didn't weaponize your incompetence, we wouldn't have to do everything all the time.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: But Ma also, too, like it's expected of.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Of us to sort of take it on and not make it anybody else's problem.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Take on everybody else's problem and just fix it like, you know, like a magician.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: And and and to admit that you're struggling, to admit that it's hard is failure, is is, you know, um, is criticized and judged in this sort of like, oh, she's fallen apart, you know, kind of thing.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, oh my God, like how exhausting.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's why, you know, I think it's, I think it's okay to say, like, I have so many friends, of course, who are moms.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, as someone who doesn't have a child, like we try to open the forum all the time and just say, like, it's okay to to, it's not about regret.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like one feeling is not forever, right?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: But you you are entitled to your feeling of sadness just as much, if not more, as you are entitled to your feelings of joy.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: They are there, there is no mutual exclusion here.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: They, you know what I mean?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything is um is is equal and valid and whatever, and they're all fleeting.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so, um, you know, I do think like normalizing that and saying, like, God, this is hard, or oh, I don't want to do it today, or oh, my kid's an asshole.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think that's okay to say, and that doesn't make you a bad, you know.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: I have one of my friends is like, she's really good about apologizing to her kids when um if she flips out and they're younger and she will say, like, my behavior was not acceptable and you didn't deserve that.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that because she's not losing power with your first of all, you shouldn't have power over your children.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's not how it works.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: She's not losing her power.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: What she's showing them by example is humility.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: What having a sense of self-awareness and then respect for another person to say, hey, I'm taking accountability for not being able to regulate my emotion in that moment.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that wasn't fair to you because I hurt your feelings as a result of my unemotion, my emotional um um uh like uh yeah.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: People think that that's a weakness when really it is such a strength and just apologizing.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that's one of my favorite things about after retiring and coaching people one-on-one or working with teenagers who lack that confidence and have those negative voices to realize we all have those and to to coach women who have lost that spark because they've devoted their life to raising their kids and working full time to say, wait a minute.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's not selfish for me to work on myself and for me to go after my goals.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's just freeing and it is fun.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Not that all of those stages aren't fun in your life, raising your kids and doing, but to really find that dual.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Since when did putting this is what's this is so telling right here.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: When did putting yourself first for once become selfish, right?
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Again, we covet these sort of attributes in women to be selfless.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the minute you stop being selfish, selfless, you're selfish.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hold on a second.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's bananas.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: What do they tell you when you're on an airplane?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: Put your mask on first, or you can't be a help to others, right?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: But but to be this martyr for your whole family is become this like mother married girl, let the patriarchy die.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've had enough of this.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's exhausting.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's exhausting.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what I mean?
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: I really can't.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: So that's that's part of it.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's breaking down those archaic sort of notions of what women are supposed to be.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't have to be some renaissance of like, I'm never, you know, you know, selling guy move back, mommy, you know, mommy's different from now on, and like, and I don't help anyone ever.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: But the amount of of depletion that women end up being emotionally bankrupt because there's been nothing but withdrawals with no deposits, and they find themselves emotionally bankrupt at the end of what is supposed to be this fulfilling journey, and they stand there exhausted and drained and and and with no energy, just apathetic and and and you know, and feeling it's pardon this expression, but like a used condom.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's I say that to my husband sometimes.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I swear to God, like it's like being used and tossed away.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, I know that's really graphic and whatever, but sometimes the hyperbole I think is important because some people need that imagery to be like, that's how you're making me feel.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: But to stand on the other side of that and say, who am I and what do I want?
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: What's important to me and putting myself first, again, it doesn't mean you don't help anyone anymore.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're at the point where you're so again depleted that you, you know, you're passing out on the plane because you have no oxygen, then what that's that's not what anyone wants either.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: We just we don't again, I've used that word romanticized, but we just don't in our society, we don't romanticize that.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I I think we need to change that.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: Carly, I could talk to you and talk to you, and this is so much fun because when you were in my algebra one class as a student, you know, I didn't get this time to just do this and to see how far you've come and how reflective is so much fun.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: I want to hit you with a couple of just quick advice because you have so many great quotes and no pressure here.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: But what advice would you give to women, to teenagers who just don't feel comfortable in their body?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's a personal journey.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: That one's really tough.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think, you know, it it uh again, uh just to circle back to what I was saying about uh making that decision for yourself.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, being the body conversation is hard because there's two separate conversations, right?
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's aesthetics and there's health.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I think those need to be two different conversations.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think putting them together as one is super dangerous because one doesn't nearly necessarily reflect the other, right?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I think first and foremost, you have to come from a place of internal health, and that means emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the basis that you have to you have to build everything from.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you get to the psychological element of it, which is where a lot of it lives, you really have to break through what voices are the loudest.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I said to one of my students the other day, she's getting ready to apply for colleges, and she's like, so-and-so wants me to go here, and this person wants me to do this.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I get it, you know what I mean?
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes you have to say to people, like, I appreciate all the input, but there are so many voices in my head right now, I cannot hear my own.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the that's the place we have to arrive at where we draw boundaries of of from everything, be it getting putting down the social media influence, the peer influence, the adult influence, anything that's auxiliary that's not coming from within.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I I would, you know, that being comfortable in your body is a personal journey.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I would say learning how to separate the psychological aesthetic element from the health element and then focusing foremost on health and just feeling healthy will ultimately influence the other.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: Great advice.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: How about when the negative voice does pop up in your own head?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, we talk about her all the time.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: We call them the intrusive thoughts, and she is loud and noisy, and she just, first of all, it's it's hard, right?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you like we talk all the time?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like I stand in front of the mirror and just completely hate crime myself.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, from head to toe, right?
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: We all do it, and I think it's just you have to learn to break the pattern.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: You have to learn to break the cycle.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: And what what I do is like, so a lot of times, and I do a lot of like breath work in my voice um uh lessons.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: And we talk about um when we do these manifestation breathings, you know, a lot of times when people are doing yoga or any sort of breathing, they really struggle to get to a quiet place because it's really impossible to shut up your brain.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say, don't worry about trying to achieve internal like brain quietness.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's almost impossible.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: Learn to sort of manage your brain like a waiting room.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: Excuse me, welcome in, please have a seat.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: We'll be with you when we can.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, learn how to sort of manage it that way versus trying to be like, everybody, shut up, because it just doesn't work like that.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so we always will try to focus on one thought.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say if any intrusive thought attempts to enter the chat, please ask them to have a seat and tell them you'll be right with them.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's just a way, and in a way too, those thoughts aren't always bad.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're sometimes just inappropriately timed.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like that might be something that you're gonna want to look at and and and um and address at some point in your life, but not right now.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we don't need this is not the time.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm at the grocery store, leave me alone.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: You see me doing something right now, right?
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you see how you interrupting me is is distracting me from that.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to hear everything you have to say.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: Just put a pin in it, and I'll be with you when I can.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I and and that's how you gotta have to, you have to operate that in your brain sometimes too.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: You have to turn that negative voice off when it's your turn to shine and you're on stage and you're feeling like, oh, I don't look good in this.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: That is not the time.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's yes, I love it.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, girl, you gotta you gotta take a ticket at the butcher counter.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: You and which I think is now serving like 1,432.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: A ticket counter is up.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's full.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: You and Garrett uh seem to have just such a wonderful, grounded, joyful relationship.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: And there's if you think about something about marriage that maybe people don't talk about enough, especially as you're growing together, but then also keeping your individuality, what would you say?
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, one of the things that we talked about early on, and the very first thing we decided is that, you know, both of us have big passions um and goals.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we kind of said early on that we knew we would be each other's mistresses to our first love, and to sort of accept that that like I was on this journey and this ride and this thing before you came along, and I want to do it with you.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but but we would always remain supportive of what each other's life goals were.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like Garrett is Garrett without me, and I am Carly without him.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we still have things that we want to do in our time.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so that that was the first one of being just respectful of that and having that sort of understanding and agreement right away.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the other thing that's been super helpful to us, like we we really work on communication.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's a big thing with us.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I'm that's my love language.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because of my, you know, intrusive thoughts.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you don't give me the whole story, my brain is gonna fill in the holes.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: And because of my trauma, it it's not gonna go, it's not gonna go your way.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: So make sure that you give me the full picture with no holes or anything, because my brain's gonna fill it in.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm gonna be like, so I'm so you hate me and I'm ugly and I'm fat.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that's what you're saying.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm terrible.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and he's like, where do you even get this from?
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, ooh, don't pull up that thread.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: So the other one was that, you know, this is a choice.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: We are not obligated to each other.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: Every day is a choice to be here.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: You choose to show up, you choose to do the work, you choose, and then being worthy of that choice.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: Don't take that for granted.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get complacent in your growth.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get complacent in in your promises, um, because this is still a choice.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: And and, you know, you're allowed to have bad days, you're allowed to have, you know, and we voice that to each other.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'll say to him, be like, I don't know what's wrong with me today.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just, I'm in that, like, everything is like making me so mad.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: And he'd be like, oh, I get it.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was like that yesterday, you know?
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so we're really communicative about that.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I think about that all the time.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's of everything.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, am I being the person that he would choose?
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: Am I being somebody you'd want to be around?
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: Am I being, am I, you know, am I being emotionally responsible?
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have this, this um pass to just walk into a room and emotionally napalm your partner and dump this on them and then walk away with them to deal with it.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: And now you feel better because you've unpacked it and they are sitting there helpless with all this information they can do nothing about.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you have to be emotionally responsible and realizing that there's work to do outside of your relationship that doesn't belong to your partner.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: Everything that I'm working for that predates him, I want to share with him.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: But is that his responsibility to fix?
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's mine.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that that's been incredibly instrumental for us in doing this.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: And don't get it twisted.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we have had our moments.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: We are both hot-tempered.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: We are both quick.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we go.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: We've we've had a few blowouts where I'm just like, oh man, our neighbors probably think we're crazy.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: But but we're fiery people, we're passionate, um, never disrespectful.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's never, it's never whatever, but like, you know, we're loud, we're loud people.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I think that's that's really what it is.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: And and seeing your partner, you know, I think that empathy is the biggest thing.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: Your instinct when you're in an argument is really to fight your own case.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I think stepping outside of yourself to really try to see their point of view is so helpful.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: And understanding that like two things can be true at the same time, right?
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: I can both have not meant to hurt your feelings and have hurt your feelings.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: Those two things can exist at the exact same time.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: Just because you felt a certain way doesn't mean that my intention was to do it, right?
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: Intention and perception, there's a very fine line.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not an accusation.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: When I tell you my feelings, my feelings are not accusations.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: This this isn't, I'm not saying you did this to me.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm saying as a result of you doing this, I felt this way.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I will always say to him, like, okay, I hear what your intention was, but if this was your intention, this was your result.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to alter your approach based on that, I I mean, if I were you, I would.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you know, then then then that's sort of, you know, what it is.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, I get that, but this is the result that you're getting.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is this is the message you're ultimately sending me when you do X, Y, and Z.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, that's what it is.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: We just we speak different languages.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: We came to the table speaking different languages, and now we have to both learn each other's individual languages and learn a third one, which is our joint language.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: I can tell you have had years of therapy or so many.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that is so important, that communication, you know, and as simple as it sounds, it's hard sometimes, and you can get in that that habit of of just doing the dumping and walking away.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's yes.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: All right, final two questions.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: So looking back now, what do you think the real definition of success is?
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I I I think it's, I mean, honestly, like as as silly as it may sound, it's this.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's the it's the reviews from the people that matter the most to you.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the reviews in the New York Times, it's not the reviews in the it's the lives that you've touched as a human outside of your personal accolades and and your reviews from that.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: And um, that means everything to me, you know, to know that anything I've done has impacted anyone, or if I made anyone feel a certain type of way, or I made them proud, or um feel seen or or heard in any way, like that's that's truly what my life's mission has been about.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I do it through art because that's the conduit that I choose to to have service in this world.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: Some people, you know, do it other ways, um, but that's mine.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: And and to hear that that has translated to me is is what qualifies success.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that heart of gold that we talked about, that's it right there.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope I know you're getting into some directing now.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I just my hope, my dream for you is that you get to work with a younger Carly Gibson and to have someone who I mean, I can't get out of my head.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: It makes me want to go back in time to 20 years ago to watch you break that fourth wall and just that chemistry you create is amazing.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: The teenage Carly that used to sit back in room 612, if they could see, if she could see your life today, what do you think she'd be most proud of?
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um why does that make me so unbelievably emotional?
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um I mean, I I just hope that she is proud.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that every dream that she had and um everything she ever wanted, I hope I gave it to her, you know, because um, because she she, you know, she really deserved that.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I just hope that I did make her proud.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I can't speak to what it would be.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um I guess I guess just that like I didn't take no shit.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's the thing.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think she probably like I didn't, I didn't, I didn't sell out and um and I didn't I didn't let anybody disrespect us again and I didn't I didn't let anyone define us um and uh and and or influence us in a way like I I did it on my own terms.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: I I did, you know, I I stayed true to who I was and and um and I'm still trying to do it.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the thing that I'd be the most proud of that that I'm still doing it, you know.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: I am gonna be 42 years old in August, which first of all is disrespectful.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I just zero out of 10 stars, by the way, for aging.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is some hoash shit.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: None of this was in the brochure.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_00: I hate it here, but it's fine.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's not even the getting older part that I care about.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's everything hurts.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody said everything would hurt.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: Everything.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: I can't sit crisscross applesauce anymore.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's so many things.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my God.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_00: But um, but yeah, I um I just I I am the most, I think I'm just the most proud that I'm still doing it and that I still love it.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: I still love it the same way I loved it when I was her.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: That same feeling of like, I want to do it, I want to play, I just want to, I still love it for the right reasons.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't about anything else other than like, I just really love to make art.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: Carly, I think remembering back to that 16-year-old version of you, she would have been proud of all of the awards, all of the roles, all of the accolades that you have received, but she was spunky, she was always true to herself.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, in my head, that's the image I have of you.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: And she would not back down, she would have stood up for anyone who was wronged.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so if she dug deep, if she could have dug is it this deep for a 16-year-old, she would be so proud of exactly what you said that you stand up for what's right, you didn't take any shortcuts, and you rose, and you are a star, and you are beautiful.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: So when you say you think she would have been proud, I can guarantee you she would be dancing circles down the hallway and into my classroom filled with nothing but joy and pride.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you for saying that.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's a beautiful image.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_01: Carly, can you tell listeners where they can find you?
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: What you have coming up?
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: Anything?
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: I know you always have lots of stuff going on.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, uh right now the big thing is I got some um directing stuff coming up, but uh we've got a bunch of gigs with the band coming up.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, my my buddy and I, Emma Hunton, she's another fellow Broadway and television movie actress.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: She's one of the most incredible voices ever.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_00: We have a band together with my husband, who's a bass player called Tell Your Dad I Said Hi, um, which is a dad rock cover band.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um we're both just, you know, big fans of classic rock.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and so we sort of started this band as a it started as a funny joke when we realized that we were getting to an age where like if we went out to a bar and like young boys would like try to hit on us or whatever, we'd be like, oh no, but tell your dad I said hi because we're now at that age where it was like realizing that you've become a woman of a certain age, we're like, your dad sounds hot though.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: Where is he?
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so yeah, it was it just started as a joke, but yeah, um, so that's that's been the biggest thing.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm I'm actually um I've written a script that I have decided this year um that I'm going to direct and actually produce and and make on my own.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's been a huge undertaking of fundraising and doing it all, but there's just no women in the directorial thriller horror space.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I have been such a huge thriller horror fan my whole life.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to give Gen Z their Scream because Scream was such a formative film for me.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm a huge West Craven fan.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and there's just no female directors in this space, and I've had this script forever, and so I'm gonna make a movie this year, and that's kind of the biggest, like the next biggest like, I'm just gonna do it.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm tired of waiting, and this industry is a dumpster fire right now.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna do it myself.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna fundraise it and produce it and direct it myself.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe it'll be showing at the cinema carousel back at home.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll come home and watch it.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect, Carly.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: This conversation means so much to me.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_01: The fact that you just took time and your your words, your wisdom are top notch.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm looking at the clock.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_01: I've never gone this long with a podcast.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_01: We've like doubled what I typically do, so I apologize for that.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well no, I apologize to your hopefully anybody.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Listening to this is just like, holy cow, this is like my whole last day.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think as a teacher, one of the greatest gifts is watching former students grow into their lives and just seeing their courage, their creativity, their resilience, and you embody all of that.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_01: You're a beautiful example of what happens when someone stays authentic and follows their spark.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for sharing your story and just so many funny stories and words of wisdom.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I appreciate having you to everyone listening.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: Life rarely brings or follows a straight line.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_01: There are bold leaps, there are unexpected turns and moments of reinvention, sometimes seasons where we step away, like Carly did, to re just rediscover what matters the most.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: And those are exactly the moments that I help people navigate in my coaching work.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_01: So if you feel like you're standing at this turning point in life, you can learn more about working with me at project you22.org.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, keep leaning into growth and just keep trusting your instincts and keep building your version of Project U 2.2.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Carly.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, first of all, don't come for me when you're about to spark a fire with those windpans working as hard as they are in the crotch.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: Just literally starting a fire into coming down the hall.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: Just you always heard her coming.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: When I think back, I remember you being so funny in math class and just saying, listen, Mrs.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: Homer, I don't love math.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be kind.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna, you know, I'm barely gonna do what I gotta do, but I'm here.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_01: I showed up.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_01: And you just were always very real.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_00: So to see anybody ever knowing You were the only, you were because I think I had I did take Algebrone like three times.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I think yours is the only one I packed.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: I need to let you go.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: I've kept you way too long.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: I've kept you over class.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I appreciate you.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Kara.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: Really stay in touch, okay?
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, we'll do.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_01: Love you.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_01: Bye bye.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.