Latest / No Latency / Side Quest: Sleighed Parade Pt1: Under the Weather
Transcript
- 0:02Welcome to No Latency Side Quest, a bonus podcast with
- 0:05special guests that affect the main story of No Latency.
- 0:10This time Retro's caught up in a Christmas parade problem, joined
- 0:14this holiday season by guest stars Brianna De Costa playing
- 0:18Cypher The Danger Gal, Gossip Bjorn Anders playing Remington
- 0:23the Nomad with a Hunger and Ash. Ignis playing Prompt, the Exec
- 0:28with a big project on the line. The Night City Christmas Parade
- 0:32looks like it might be a little wet this year if Retro and his
- 0:35friends don't do something to save the season.
- 0:38The water is soon going to fall and it's Retro's presence that
- 0:41will hopefully keep it all together.
- 0:42Because this year Retro's going to stop anyone raining on his
- 0:46parade. Shall we begin?
- 1:02My guy, my gym, yo. Reeves, what are you doing?
- 1:05What's up? Hey, hey.
- 1:06What's going on, man? Yeah, Hey, what's What's up?
- 1:09What's up with you? What's What are you doing this?
- 1:11Holiday, dude, you excited about the parade?
- 1:13Yeah, who isn't excited about the parade?
- 1:15I I I wish. Here's the thing.
- 1:18Parade is like one of my favorite parts of the holiday
- 1:21time. The thing is, it's like, hey,
- 1:23hey. Wait, wait, wait.
- 1:23No, no, no. Retro, shut the fuck up.
- 1:25Come over here at this at this screen store.
- 1:29April's on. Oh wow.
- 1:32Oh, April Anonymous. Yeah, man.
- 1:35What I got to see? This this is network 50.
- 1:38Four with your host, April. Anonymous.
- 1:43Good afternoon, Night City. This is Network 54, and I'm
- 1:47April Anonymous. The Christmas season has begun
- 1:52and Night City is getting into the holiday spirit.
- 1:55The Night City Parade will feature floats from some of your
- 1:57favorite brands, garden talent and this year added NCPD.
- 2:03Security. The new fleet of light vehicles
- 2:07straight from the production line will cascade along hollow
- 2:10floats and underpaid St. Performers boasting improved
- 2:15side plating, blast proof doors and a corrosive resistant
- 2:19material that looks great in blue.
- 2:21And yellow. I do love a man in uniform.
- 2:24Armed, dangerous and this year, Festive 2.
- 2:29Did I mention I'll be at the parade sign up on the Network 54
- 2:34Garden to get a hollow picture and a wave from yours.
- 2:37True. If it's going to be the parade,
- 2:38everything. For the fans.
- 2:40Oh my God. The weather outside may be
- 2:42frightful, but our boys with the NCPD sure are.
- 2:47Delighted. Oh dear. 4 I'm April Anonymous.
- 2:55Dude. Dude, dude, I can't.
- 2:58I can't get access to my car and it won't open.
- 3:01Dude, we got to have a good view.
- 3:02The parade, my guy. Oh man.
- 3:06I mean, I would say we go to the at the top of my apartment
- 3:09building, but that's like on the opposite side of the parade.
- 3:12I don't know where. Else, yeah.
- 3:13No. No they don't.
- 3:14They're not going near your place.
- 3:16And I live in a shipping container, so my view is
- 3:18bullshit. Totally.
- 3:21Hey, my friend Trent, Like, he usually has a barbecue on.
- 3:25Like whatever the fuck the day is now what?
- 3:28Wednesday. Yeah.
- 3:31Cool. So like, let's just go there.
- 3:36Is it smoke friendly? It's outside my gym.
- 3:40Hey, that's good enough for me. Let's go.
- 3:42Let's. Go and retro and Reeves skitter
- 3:47off to this lovely location prompt.
- 3:51You're sitting in the back of your car and your driver
- 3:55suddenly breaks. What?
- 3:58What? What's going on?
- 4:01Traffic. They blocked off all the roads.
- 4:04Well, yeah, there's a parade. No shit.
- 4:07That's today, yes. Oh, I shouldn't have taken that
- 4:11last. No, I was wondering what you're
- 4:12doing. I'm doing my calendar right now.
- 4:15Why? It's fine.
- 4:19I get to 54321. OK, fine, OK, Just I have to be
- 4:27able to see the cars. I need to see the vehicles.
- 4:32The the flight vehicles. Yes.
- 4:35Oh, what's that? What they were shouting about in
- 4:37the boardroom. Yes, yeah.
- 4:39Yeah. That was the whole, you know,
- 4:41the project for the last like a year and a half that's consumed
- 4:43in my entire life. Yeah.
- 4:45Yeah, so like, don't forget your camera, because it's right
- 4:47there. Yeah.
- 4:50All right. OK, you know what, I'm just.
- 4:51I'm We're not going to make it to this.
- 4:53No, no, I need. I'm just going to.
- 4:55I'm going to find a rooftop. I'm just going to find a
- 4:57rooftop. OK, well this building's, I can
- 5:00see smoke coming from the top of that building.
- 5:02It's a little like fire. Are you sure?
- 5:05It doesn't look like fire or? You know what?
- 5:07I'm just going to get out and I'm just going to get.
- 5:10You know what, I'll. I'll call you.
- 5:11Come pick me up in when I call you, OK?
- 5:14You you got it. Dick Monty, you.
- 5:19Slams the door and drives it. Whatever, Whatever, whatever,
- 5:23whatever. It's fine.
- 5:25Breathe 54321. OK.
- 5:31OK. And I'm going to just go up to
- 5:34the door and just try and get up into the rooftop.
- 5:37You step into the apartment building, walk towards the
- 5:41elevator, get inside and ascend. Perfect.
- 5:48The elevator smells of bacon grease.
- 5:52That's a little good, but a little disgusting at the same
- 5:55time. Oh, is it going to get in my
- 5:58clothes? Oh my God, it's going to get in
- 6:00my clothes. Oh my God.
- 6:01I got to get out of this elevator.
- 6:02I have to get out of this elevator 54321.
- 6:09Meanwhile, Remington. Yep.
- 6:14You are on the rooftop. Standing uncomfortably close to
- 6:20whoever's man in that grill, watching everything they do like
- 6:24a hawk. So you're standing on the
- 6:26rooftop, right next to Trent, washing his hands in this
- 6:30recycler sink. Yeah, so I've been making kibble
- 6:33patties for about 8 months. They're making what now?
- 6:37Kibble patties. Oh, jig you like.
- 6:41It's basically reconstituted meat that I reconstitute again,
- 6:44but with like, you know, nano bacon grease I.
- 6:48Mean. That doesn't sound terrible, so
- 6:49it's better than what I've eaten in the past few weeks and.
- 6:53It's better than when you're getting the vending machines.
- 6:56You're excited about the parade, cowboy.
- 7:00Slaps me on the grill. That's beautiful sight, right?
- 7:03There. I like the sizzle.
- 7:06Yeah, I like the char. I think you'd be going to get
- 7:08along. You say there's a parade
- 7:11happening. Was that all happened?
- 7:13Have you been living? Didn't you see Network 54?
- 7:18No. No, no, friend.
- 7:22It's December right now. I think you're completely off on
- 7:26exactly how you're looking at your your calendar, your your
- 7:29does have all 12 months, right? Yeah, it's the Christmas parade.
- 7:33Yeah. So why you talking about April
- 7:35like? No, the the newscaster.
- 7:39The person. Their name is April Anonymous.
- 7:42Why is her name April if she's anonymous?
- 7:44It just seems like a real fucked up there to go.
- 7:47About misunderstood. No, I think she misunderstands.
- 7:50If you're anonymous, you don't want people to know what you
- 7:52got. Damn.
- 7:52Name. What was your name?
- 7:54Remington. Nice to meet you, man.
- 7:57Would you like a short glass of weird bacon grease?
- 8:00If I ever say no to that, I want you to shoot me.
- 8:04Meanwhile, Cipher, you get a call as you're walking towards
- 8:12your parade party. Hello.
- 8:16Hey, honey. Hi.
- 8:17How's it going? OK, so the lockdown started.
- 8:20So bye. What?
- 8:23The fuck. Click.
- 8:25You were headed to a party, but looks like you didn't make it in
- 8:29time and you're now standing in on a street in Night City and
- 8:34the parade is in a few hours and you have nowhere to go, No.
- 8:38No, no, no, no. This is not going to do.
- 8:42This is my favorite season. I mean, this is where people are
- 8:46depressed and sad making bad decisions, and that leads to
- 8:51messiness and then new clients for me.
- 8:54No, no, no, no, no, I no, We got to figure this out.
- 8:59Wait, oh wait. And.
- 9:00You're standing in this street and coming towards you is a
- 9:04floppy, like very surfer, like dude who's got his shirt open,
- 9:10he has tuna put tunas tattooed across his chest and he's
- 9:14walking with a man with ATV for a head.
- 9:17Hey, what's up tunes? Where are you going?
- 9:20Hey, what's up? I like your hair.
- 9:23You look pretty dumb. Oh.
- 9:24Thanks. You are welcome.
- 9:27Like, hey, are you guys going to see the parade?
- 9:30Totally. My friend Trent is having a BBQ
- 9:32we think. Hey, how friendly is this friend
- 9:36Trent? Well, he's as friendly as me.
- 9:38Me and my very good friend Retro, who's like a fucking
- 9:41legend, are going to go up there and have some good times, maybe
- 9:45smoke a little, and then watch some floaty things bash into
- 9:48buildings in a comical but memeable way.
- 9:52At this time at this time, Retro has been trying to fashion a a
- 9:57holiday sweater with his the scrap that he has from his
- 10:00backpack. OK.
- 10:02Should I roll for that? No, I know someone who can make
- 10:04a a better version of that. No, we're gonna be like.
- 10:08Holy shit. Cipher.
- 10:10Is that you? Wait, oh.
- 10:12My God. Oh my.
- 10:16God, hey. Oh dear.
- 10:18Small. World.
- 10:19Yeah. Whoa.
- 10:19Oh God. I haven't seen you.
- 10:21Forever like fate. Like, I will really believe that
- 10:24this is like the, you know, the holiday spirit and magic.
- 10:28You know, it's just this is this is happening.
- 10:31It's like right now, isn't it cool?
- 10:34I It's amazing. Yeah, I haven't.
- 10:35Seen you in like, dude. I haven't seen any of those too.
- 10:39Reeves, this is my friend Cipher.
- 10:42They gave me my very first job, but when I moved here to Night
- 10:45City. Oh cool.
- 10:47I totally told him that he had to like increase his prices like
- 10:5040%. He wasn't going to make
- 10:52anything. Yeah, I I pretty much did.
- 10:56They got me to do a job for about 200 Eddie's, I thought
- 10:59that's with like a decent prize, but I pretty much the.
- 11:03Main line how's she doing? We're not together anymore.
- 11:08Oh, Bomber Van. Yeah.
- 11:12OK, Yeah. Well.
- 11:14Well, those are the brakes. OK, so where is this party?
- 11:18Oh, like, just like, behind you, this building.
- 11:20Right here. Wait, OK, but like, how's the
- 11:22view? Well, why don't you come
- 11:25upstairs and we'll have a look. Yeah.
- 11:28Come on, Sniper. Let's go.
- 11:29Let's go. It leads you into the elevator,
- 11:32your head upstairs, and you arrive.
- 11:37You smell that? Oh, it smells like heaven bacon.
- 11:44That's what it is. I'm gonna lick the elevator
- 11:48door. Is there like a coat of, like,
- 11:53bacon grease on it? Because she's going to lick it.
- 11:58There there is. It is on the floor.
- 12:00Oh. She totally gets on her hands
- 12:03and knees with her big platform shoes and she's going to go
- 12:08ahead and lick the floor. Cool cheer the the whole talking
- 12:13and third person thing is neat nice.
- 12:15Yeah, sometimes I do that. That's cool.
- 12:19Have you ever tried? Talking in third person, Reese
- 12:23is always down. Haha.
- 12:24Look at that Reese. Yeah, I was.
- 12:25Gonna ask what's your name? Again.
- 12:28Reese. Reese.
- 12:28My name is JK Reese. Nice to meet you.
- 12:30What is off my tune? Huh?
- 12:32What's? JK stand for?
- 12:35That is personal business that I will not share.
- 12:39That's fair, but. But I appreciate the question
- 12:41and being genuinely interested in me as a person rather than a
- 12:45billboard. Hello Corpo.
- 12:48What is up? You seem completely lost.
- 12:51I am so lost. I am.
- 12:54It's my. Bestie hi Oh my.
- 12:57God, I would like to cypher Hello.
- 13:01Magic Christmas. Magic.
- 13:04How are you? Oh.
- 13:05Sorry, I'm so excited. You're so excited.
- 13:08You're good, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 13:10It's been a little while. I thought I wasn't going to be
- 13:11able to see the parade and then now all of us are being brought
- 13:14together. Is this your like Fate idea
- 13:17thing again? Yeah.
- 13:20OK, That's fair. Out during the season, for me, I
- 13:24get the most clients because again, everyone's depressed,
- 13:27sad, getting into wasted, wasted wasting someone else, you know?
- 13:33Yeah, of course. I would like to go.
- 13:37And you know, I get more clients that way.
- 13:39I'm going to go get wasted now that we're at the the roof.
- 13:42So if you guys need to. I've been here before.
- 13:44So you just kind of go this way. Plus Gabby and and Calvin.
- 13:47Hey guys, And then up here and then we're going to go over
- 13:49here. Is that cool?
- 13:50Yeah. Wait, where's Trit?
- 13:53He's already gone. OK, who is that She's just going
- 13:57to? Yeah, trit.
- 13:59This rooftop is huge. It is the full length of a large
- 14:02apartment building that has about eight different apartments
- 14:06in it, so your voice carries off into the street below.
- 14:10There is a pretty sizable wall around the very edge of the
- 14:13building, and you're standing outside of the elevator with a
- 14:17small view of the east side of this part of Knight City.
- 14:22OK, safer. So you're just here to see the
- 14:24parade? Yeah.
- 14:26Do you know which way is a good way to see it?
- 14:28I so I've been working with the SO my project that I've been
- 14:33working on for like a year and a half is finally for fruition.
- 14:36I can finally see the armor plating on the vehicles.
- 14:39I'm so excited. That's amazing.
- 14:42Congratulations. Thank you.
- 14:44I think I went with more Gray hair than I had before, so we'll
- 14:49go with that. Well, I mean, I'm digging a
- 14:51look. Thank you, I got tech hair
- 14:54installed to help with it because it was becoming a
- 14:57problem, yes. Due to the stress, yes.
- 15:03Yes, I may have gotten 5 people fired over the last year and a
- 15:07half because they don't know how to do anything.
- 15:10Oh. Yeah.
- 15:12Well, you should have just hit me up and then I could have like
- 15:15hooked you up with some new peeps.
- 15:16Yeah, I might, I might, I might talk.
- 15:19Maybe might be able to help me get a new job soon because I am
- 15:24not getting anywhere with mine. I'm still that you did, I mean.
- 15:29You hired me for a reason, and we I know.
- 15:31I know, yeah, Callum was very happy, but he still didn't give
- 15:36me more money or pay. But he doesn't really look at
- 15:39what I do, so I can kind of just do whatever I want.
- 15:41But the stress of seeing everybody's calendars all messed
- 15:44up and people not scheduling things and parts not going where
- 15:47they need to go. And 543210 you.
- 15:53I've been learning breathing techniques.
- 15:55Yeah, yeah, yeah, I I see that. Yeah, I need it seems.
- 16:00Like you need a drink. I would love it.
- 16:04Not not me. I will take a drink though.
- 16:07But did you wait and? Wait, why?
- 16:14Why are you smelling? Me, oh heavenly, you smell.
- 16:16Like, Oh my God, on my suit? No, I was in the elevator.
- 16:22No, I'm going to have to get this, like, somehow cleaned.
- 16:26It's one of my nicest suits and it smells like bacon.
- 16:30Of the holiday season. I'm glad one of us is happy.
- 16:34That and the smell of sadness. I mean, there's probably a lot
- 16:38of that around. Oh, yeah, that's that's exactly
- 16:41why I'm here. I'm so excited.
- 16:44OK, wait, hold on. Hold on, hold on.
- 16:45OK, wait. I think if we go over in this
- 16:47direction, what do I? Swear.
- 16:55So in the meantime, Remy has just kind of stayed next to
- 16:59cipher as they're pretty uncomfortable in social
- 17:05situations while not high or drunk.
- 17:08So they've kind of been listening at the same time and
- 17:11just kind of nodding ahead as they build this holiday sweater
- 17:14and I rolled to build it and then how it I also rolled to see
- 17:17how it looks on me on there as well.
- 17:19You rolled 29, or I. All I heard was EDA.
- 17:24You rolled 29 on basic tech. The holographic screen you
- 17:31pulled out of your bag from some scrap sits really neatly in the
- 17:35middle, and it's basically a copy of you on your sweater, and
- 17:40you've linked it up to your own head, so your sweater and your
- 17:43face have the same expression. That is actually really cute.
- 17:50It's got a little It's got a little holiday hat on it though.
- 17:52And both of you, you both look at him as he's like doing this
- 17:55in front of you while the conversation happens and he
- 17:56finishes and because. That is absolutely amazing.
- 18:01I'm sorry. Who you?
- 18:02Who are you? Hello.
- 18:04This is my other bestie. We go way back.
- 18:07Right. Way back, way back, retro.
- 18:10Retro, nice to meet you. I'm prompt.
- 18:12Or you can call me written. Whatever.
- 18:16Nice to meet you. I just call.
- 18:17It Hello bestie. You call everybody bestie.
- 18:20I thought I was your bestie. Well.
- 18:23You're like, OK if we do a ranking system, you're like,
- 18:27probably like. The smell of delicious BBQ food
- 18:32starts to waft from the West side of the rooftop.
- 18:37Oh, OK, I smell. Blow your nose.
- 18:40Get some We got to get some food.
- 18:41I think Cipher is starting to actually levitate off of.
- 18:45Oh yeah, buddy, that's the stuff.
- 18:48Oh, all right. What they got?
- 18:50I will. I will help you try and find
- 18:51some food. This place is massive.
- 18:54I know, I like. I don't know anyone here except
- 18:56for you. Guys.
- 19:06Your favorite multiverse hopping game system jumping, high
- 19:10production value Actual Play Podcast is back.
- 19:13System Switch Season 2 is out right now.
- 19:16In your universe, Bowler and Hicks have been transported into
- 19:20the science fiction world of scum and villainy.
- 19:23Follow our heroes as they try to break out of prison.
- 19:26This is clearly a cell. I've seen a cell before.
- 19:29In any universe, this is a cell fly through asteroid belts.
- 19:34Break into high security government buildings.
- 19:36Hey, give. Me a mark there.
- 19:39Excuse me, I'm from the library police.
- 19:42And punch fascists. That's always very cool.
- 19:46Catch up on all of season one now, or jump straight into
- 19:49Season 2 every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.
- 19:53The multiverse is a strange place.
- 20:05Perfect. Oh, oh.
- 20:08Hey, look, there's some couches. And there's some nice couches
- 20:10here. Yeah, my tunes.
- 20:12Oh man, I'm really excited about the parade.
- 20:15I can't wait to see myself. What?
- 20:18Do you want to see yourself? Oh no, I'm.
- 20:22I'm going to be part of the the union float.
- 20:25They like, paid me a bunch of money to stand at the front on
- 20:27right on the float. Like me, I'm going to be right
- 20:29there on the front. It's going to be dope, but
- 20:31you're here. Wait, yeah, wait, how?
- 20:34How does that work? How?
- 20:36Are you like how are you? I am so confused.
- 20:40Oh. Shit.
- 20:41I don't. Think you're going to be there
- 20:43anymore? Retro I got to go.
- 20:45Here's my burger. Peace, everyone.
- 20:48Have a great time on the on the the thing, but take take a photo
- 20:54of me because I want to see myself.
- 20:58And Reeves leaves. Bye Wait.
- 21:02Oh my goodness. Man, he felt.
- 21:08The need see what I'm seeing. He needed that holiday speed,
- 21:12yeah. Well.
- 21:12That. Oh, he didn't even put any.
- 21:14He didn't put ketchup or mustard on this.
- 21:16What's wrong with Reeves? Oh, that's that's disgusting.
- 21:18Wait, you guys are? Missing.
- 21:19No, no, no, no. You guys.
- 21:21Am I the only one who's seeing what I'm saying?
- 21:25There's a. Freaking cowboy here, Remington.
- 21:28I think that tiny human is talking about you.
- 21:32Well, I do draw attention from time to time now.
- 21:36Quick question. It's probably the hat.
- 21:39It is my most becoming feature, Thank you very much.
- 21:42I did find myself a rather, well, a piece of animal of
- 21:48dubious origin that I think should find its way onto that
- 21:51grill, just so we can find out exactly what this varmint tastes
- 21:55like grilled up. Just only use the back corner of
- 21:59it. That's where most of the flame
- 22:00happens. Well, I mean, you know, I want
- 22:02to get it to a nice, good, medium rare look.
- 22:04Looks like red meat at least. So, you know, I'm not going to
- 22:06put it in the absolute, you know, and if, if, if you don't
- 22:10mind, just kind of Mosey and over.
- 22:11Just give me enough room and I'm just going to set that sucker
- 22:14down just like dead in the center of the grill.
- 22:16Yeah, the the grill is shitty. It is handmade.
- 22:20It is bad. There is fire coming out of it.
- 22:23It causes char, there's bits of burnable things in there like
- 22:27paper and stuff to keep it going.
- 22:30And it's powered by a gas tank sitting next to it, with some
- 22:33tune to siphoning off at about 1/4.
- 22:36Everything I do to move any of the meter out of the grill, I
- 22:39just do with my right hand using these two metal fingers, much
- 22:44like would use tongs. Oh damn, Hold on.
- 22:49Hey, is that the new Armalite Scope edition?
- 22:54I wish that were the case. It's not terribly new, doesn't
- 22:57have a scope, but certainly serves me well.
- 23:01Got it. It's a nice piece of hardware
- 23:03you got there. Choom.
- 23:04What is it? I'm immediately going up and
- 23:06like kind of like waving my hands.
- 23:09Not exactly touching, but it's kind of like I'm I am oogling
- 23:12your arm. It's a it's a fancy looking face
- 23:16you got there fella. Wow.
- 23:18Oh, it's got a 5D5 processor. That's pretty.
- 23:22They don't make those anymore. Where did you get?
- 23:24This. Well, if I told you, I'd piss
- 23:28some people right off, as I'm not exactly supposed to say,
- 23:30because let's just say a good friend got me a good deal as a
- 23:34result of doing a good job. Oh, that's got a story.
- 23:38I like stories. I'll tell you what, You find me
- 23:41a place around here where I can get a little bit of gulp and
- 23:43whiskey. I might share a story with you.
- 23:45Oh. I don't.
- 23:46You look past retro. To the other side of the
- 23:48building and they're against some large roof equipment, are
- 23:53three vending machines and in one of them is some synth
- 23:55whiskey. Hey, do.
- 23:57Do we? I didn't catch your name there,
- 23:59fella. Oh, it's it's revenue.
- 24:01But most people call me retro. I shake that.
- 24:04Can I shake that? On No, I did.
- 24:06I had a pleasure. RIP Handshake's.
- 24:08Best way to get to know somebody though.
- 24:09I know that hand ain't got nothing.
- 24:11You can stab me with it in. Yeah, Retro, if you'll just keep
- 24:15an eye on particularly on that piece of environment right in
- 24:18the middle there. Just don't let it catch fire.
- 24:20I'm going to go interrogate this vending machine over here.
- 24:24And you head over to the vending machines on the right hand side.
- 24:27It's all right, Retro. It's nice to see you again.
- 24:30You probably don't Remember Me because my accent changes all
- 24:33the time. Yeah, I'll take care of the Meet
- 24:36me and Remy, the other one. We had a really good time.
- 24:39Oh, you call him Remedy? You don't worry about it.
- 24:42You, you, you you did entertain your guests.
- 24:45Honestly, my treat. OK, well, hey, Trent, you know,
- 24:49this was a great BBQ. I'm I'm assuming this is a
- 24:52kibble Patty, which if you reconstitutioned it, you
- 24:55reconstituted it. Pretty decent.
- 24:58I mean. Use Christmas kibble so it's all
- 25:00festive and shit. Yeah, I did taste the the
- 25:02sparkle crunch in it. It's the one, yeah.
- 25:06It's like Pop Rocks, but upsetting.
- 25:08If I if I had an actual mouth to chew with, I would agree with
- 25:11you, but it's just all just goes in the CD drive.
- 25:13So here are some burgers for your lot.
- 25:15Are any of them lot like not synth meat eaters?
- 25:20Hey, you and you not synth meat eaters.
- 25:22I will, I will, I will. I will eat it today.
- 25:27Hey, I eat all the meats, OK? Wait, wait.
- 25:29Are you a Trent? I'm like Arby's right now.
- 25:33You know what I mean? Wait, your name's Arby?
- 25:36No, I have the meats. It's a reference to an early
- 25:392000s food chain that got destroyed in the corporate wars.
- 25:46The very funny if you understand it, you.
- 25:49Know don't understand it. Sometimes it just goes over my
- 25:52head. Most things do.
- 25:54That bad joke is the only thing that goes wrong today.
- 25:57Then we're in luck, and then you hear Thunder.
- 26:01Is. Is it?
- 26:02Is it rain? Is is it going to rain?
- 26:05No, not today. No, that's.
- 26:07That's not possible. Not I didn't bring an umbrella.
- 26:12Everyone rolled. Perception, Retro You are not
- 26:17paying attention. You're handing out burgers.
- 26:20You aren't really paying attention.
- 26:21You just have to look up. Yeah, I kind of hear it.
- 26:23I kind of look as I'm handing out burgers at the same time
- 26:26with my other hand, trying to light a joint while I'm doing
- 26:28everything at the same time. Remington, you're looking at
- 26:31this vending machine and right in the middle is a small bottle
- 26:34of whiskey that's been in this machine for four years.
- 26:39Which means even if it's shit at this point, it's probably better
- 26:42than the brand new ones as it's just aged in this hermetically
- 26:46sealed vending machine for four years.
- 26:50It's only 13 Eddie's with the Christmas discount as part of
- 26:55the system and you are fascinated by this.
- 26:58They have kept you cooped up in this prison for far too long,
- 27:00left for entering. It is time for a jailbreak.
- 27:05But ASH and Cipher, you look over at where you hear this
- 27:10Thunder come from, and there on the other side you see a wall of
- 27:17rain. Oh, oh, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no.
- 27:21I didn't like a straight. Wall of rain.
- 27:26Not not just some. Like a absolutely perfectly
- 27:29straight wall of rain. Now, Cipher, you are paying a
- 27:36little bit more attention because as the rain falls, you
- 27:39don't just hear rainfall, you hear a sizzle.
- 27:42And done. Doesn't sound good AM.
- 27:47I able to use like deduction or something in order to try to
- 27:51figure out what this is. What?
- 27:53What is? Just some rain will be fine.
- 27:57But I don't. Want to get some wet?
- 27:59Bacon grease well. Here, we don't take your burgers
- 28:02like I got to get this mustard. On I think we just take this
- 28:06like indoors for so many. Reasons.
- 28:09Towards you. We need to go.
- 28:12Why? It's probably not.
- 28:19Typically towards you. Oh, OK.
- 28:22OK. OK.
- 28:23OK. Yeah, well, I don't want to burn
- 28:26my body off. Is there like a burger that's
- 28:29already there or somewhere like? On the BBQ that is still
- 28:32burning, there is that piece of meat that Remington put right in
- 28:35the middle and Trent's taking care of it.
- 28:36He's standing right in front of it and the wall of rain comes
- 28:39towards him. No, it's going to be fine
- 28:41because the machine's powered by gas, so it'll be fine.
- 28:45If there's a little bit of rain, it'll probably add to the char.
- 28:48He says as the rain partials over the BBQ have a.
- 28:52Little time to go, can you? Just like it ignite, the rain
- 28:56hits the barbecue and a fireball explodes in front of Trent and
- 29:00he is set on fire. Whoa, no, no, no.
- 29:05Shit. Take my jacket off.
- 29:07Yeah, I take my jacket. Oh, no, no.
- 29:09I'm wearing my sweater. I can't take that off now.
- 29:10So. You try.
- 29:12I'm going to go and grab a couch cushion and to be able to like,
- 29:15try and put him out with it. When you go over to grab the
- 29:18couch cushion, it is heavily sewn to the sofa.
- 29:22Trent steps forward, the rain steps forward and the fire from
- 29:26the rain starts to spread across the rooftop.
- 29:29Holy. Fuck.
- 29:30Oh. Oh no.
- 29:30Holy shit. Stacks.
- 29:33Fire. Oh no.
- 29:35OK, I'm going to go inside. I'm Yes.
- 29:37Just. I'm running.
- 29:40Meat, even if it's like, literally still on the grill,
- 29:42doesn't care. And then it's going to try to go
- 29:45grab it. The The meat is at 10 feet into
- 29:48this rainbowl well. If it's not, whatever is there,
- 29:52if there's something for her to grab as far as food.
- 29:55Oh yeah, no retro's holding a tray of burgers.
- 29:57Yeah, no. Yeah.
- 29:59She's going to grab that and then run.
- 30:02We got to get the hell out of here, man.
- 30:03Yeah, we got to go. Everybody move, just move.
- 30:08And I want to like in a commanding type of voice, try
- 30:12and get everybody to leave. Two of the residents run towards
- 30:16the elevator, along with some of the other people from the
- 30:20vending machine. They listen to what you have to
- 30:21say, but they know this place well, and after going around the
- 30:26corner, they're gone. You're now still standing here.
- 30:29The rain approaches even more. It is right behind you.
- 30:32I am. I'm going to run.
- 30:35Do so. I'm going to in my my 4 inch
- 30:37heels. I am going to.
- 30:39I'm going to run. So you can move how far, He says
- 30:44in an evil GM voice. I don't.
- 30:46Know 7. You have a move of seven, so
- 30:51yeah, when running you can do double that on a grip line, OK?
- 30:55Wait, I was at the couch. There we go.
- 30:57Who else is running? I will run, but I'm going to use
- 31:02my cyber arm to grab Trent Trout Trent.
- 31:07Trent. Trent I'm going to grab Trent
- 31:10and let a little bit of cable out so it's not going to set me
- 31:15on fire and drag him along the way.
- 31:18Roll for it. OK, this is what I get for
- 31:21trying to be helpful. Oh no, you're rolling dice in
- 31:24the game. Oh no.
- 31:28And you fall over the cable sets on fire.
- 31:30Now unless you do something, you will also be set on fire.
- 31:34Oh no, let's try. Sorry.
- 31:35I'm sorry about you. I'm going to release him and let
- 31:38my cable go back into my arm and hopefully that'll put it out.
- 31:42You can now move your move to go away if you want, leaving Trent
- 31:46alone to burn. Cool.
- 31:50Did you like this in peasy? I tried, I tried.
- 31:52Cypher What do you do? Grabbed the burger and shoved it
- 31:57in my mouth and it was running. Just like those little anime
- 32:01girls where they put the bread in their mouth and they start
- 32:04running. That's exactly what Cypress do.
- 32:06Nice Remington. You've almost managed to get
- 32:09this bottle and as it clinks to the bottom, you pick it up.
- 32:11You're holding your hand, you turn around and you see fucking
- 32:14chaos. There's your new friend.
- 32:16Trent is now on fire on the ground, and as you're looking at
- 32:20him, the wall of rain passes over him and he emulates even
- 32:24more and you can see and hear not only fire, but sizzle so
- 32:32much. I wish it wasn't so.
- 32:34Inconsequential to the story large see.
- 32:39What did I tell ya? There's always death.
- 32:41Well, upon hearing those words from Cipher, how many people are
- 32:45paying attention to what's going on right here, and how many
- 32:48people are just fully fucking off?
- 32:51Everyone else has gone beautiful.
- 32:53It's just you guys. Love lovely.
- 32:55What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna crack open that whiskey Viacom
- 33:00dios. Good friend throw it back and
- 33:03from my arm I produce my very heavy pistol and it's taken a
- 33:07couple steps closer and we put one right between trans eyes to
- 33:10stop his suffering. That's actually fairly noble.
- 33:13I like that. Very on character and that is
- 33:16the first inspiration for this side quest.
- 33:18Well done. You get one of those.
- 33:20It's not in cyberpunk red, but you can use it at any time to re
- 33:22roll anything you do or I do. Makes me happy.
- 33:26Did we hear Remington say this? You are watching him do this.
- 33:30Yeah, yes, you can see me. My back's turned.
- 33:33You jump over the sofa to do it. Cypher's going to turn with and
- 33:37take a bite out of the burger with a salute.
- 33:49All right, roll your gun to see if you shoot Trent between the
- 33:52eyes. How beautiful.
- 33:53That's. I'll give you plus one because
- 33:55the whiskey was really good that.
- 33:57Makes you quite happy. There.
- 34:00Let's see. Let's see.
- 34:01There we go, 24 Yeah, that's a hit.
- 34:04He looks at you while still screaming.
- 34:06The bullet flies across through the rain.
- 34:09You hear it sizzle as it flies, and it goes straight between his
- 34:12eyes, cutting his scream halfway, and he drops to the
- 34:15ground, dead and on fire and sizzling, and the rain moves
- 34:21forward. I am still going to run.
- 34:23I'm trying to get to that elevator.
- 34:25You all head over to the the door to the roof.
- 34:32Yes, you open the door and you come down the stairs from.
- 34:38The rooftop. Wait, is Is the cowboy with us?
- 34:44Absolutely. With us here, Howie.
- 34:46Partner. I've always wanted to say that
- 34:49to a real cowboy. Well, now you have, and I'm glad
- 34:53that I could help you live that goal of yours.
- 34:57What's your name? Just call me Remington.
- 35:01EW, that's the name of an ex-boyfriend of mine.
- 35:04Do you have another name? Not one that I'd like to readily
- 35:07share. Well, perhaps through meeting my
- 35:11acquaintance and through my shining personality, you will
- 35:17replace all memories of said piece of shit with someone far
- 35:23superior. Oh, I really like you.
- 35:25That's a deal. It'll be a quick.
- 35:27Stick on her hand. For a shake it's metal hand in
- 35:30case it's yours and you get a handshake from it.
- 35:33And while you're having this lovely moment on this stairway,
- 35:36you hear give me your fucking money.
- 35:38You can hear a guy like bashing and bashing on a door,
- 35:41motherfucker. You owe me so much fucking
- 35:43money. Give me a.
- 35:44Oh, that sounds like somebody having a bad day.
- 35:46I don't. I don't want to deal with this,
- 35:48but I want to peek around the corner because I'm nosy.
- 36:00Next time on no latency side quest.
- 36:06I'd like to still be goddamn eating synthetic meat and
- 36:09drinking some whiskey on a rooftop, but unfortunately acid
- 36:12rain came in and fucked up my day, and right now you're
- 36:14pissing me off. So what are we going to do about
- 36:17it? Oh, you crossed the line there,
- 36:20buddy. Do I want to be this old woman
- 36:21when I grow up? I think we just saw a hail of
- 36:24bullets. Another one bites the dust.
- 36:27Cowboy. Oh, is he?
- 36:28Going to be a problem as he dies.
- 36:30I found new aspiration in life that was quite impressive.
- 36:32Just press it harder. I'm.
- 36:34Going to press it harder. See if that helps.
- 36:35It's OK, I'm a doctor. OK, we got to go take the
- 36:37stairs. I know.
- 36:40Wait, are those red bottoms? Thank you kindly.
- 36:43Well, they're red now, yeah. You know, there may be acid rain
- 36:46outside, but that's not going to weather us down.
- 36:48Yes, I need to get out. There's usually always a back.
- 36:52Door. It's a Christmas miracle.
- 36:54You get a free kidney if you want it.
- 36:57Look at that. You made the kidney pop out of
- 36:59the dipshit. What are the odds at the
- 37:02mountain very often? Thank you for joining us on our
- 37:33adventure once again here at No Latency.
- 37:37Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at No Latency Pod.
- 37:40Check out our website at nolatencypodcast.com.
- 37:44And if you'd like to support us further, we have a Patreon get
- 37:47exclusive content, spin offs, bonus episodes, bloopers, add
- 37:51free episodes, and so much more with weekly content to say thank
- 37:54you to our supporters and even spice up your own cyberpunk red
- 37:58games at home, no matter what level your support.
- 38:02Thank you again so much for listening.
- 38:05We literally couldn't do this without you.
- 38:06And of course we'll see you next time in Night City.
- 38:12Thanks for listening, Jim.