Latest / Strange Stuff Podcast / Episode 250: Creepy Tales
Transcript
- Andy: Hello everyone, I'm Andy and this is not only Strange Stuff Podcast, but it's episode two hundred and fifty. Mark: And I'm Mark. So I better check. Are we is this live? Are people able to phone in and abuse us while we're talking? Alright, so Andy: No, no they're not. But that won't stop them. They can always s abuse us by email. And I ⁓ I look forward to it. Mark: Yeah. ⁓ dear. Well it's you know, two hundred and fifty episodes. It's quite interesting 'cause there's so much going on at the moment, so much madness going on at the moment. I don't know if it's ever been wor I suppose it was worse with Boris Johnson and politics going on in the world. That was pretty bad, but you know, what's going on in the States is sort of slightly concer well, slightly concerning, massively concerning. Well what's happened to Iran? That's off the radar at the moment. Andy: Yes, because we've got the new distraction of the vandals in the reflecting pool that don't exist. I mean, for for for one of the most CCTV covered areas in the world on the planet, in the front of the White House, there's so little evidence of these Obama donors actually running along three hundred and fifty feet dragging a knife behind them to cut through. Mark: Yeah. No, I mean it's Dragging a machete. Andy: To cut through this thing which Trump was on TV with a pair of scissors earlier saying, You can't even cut this ⁓ It's just fucking incredible. Mark: I know, I know. No, but I mean it's but the thing is it's so obvious. I mean, it is completely covered by sixty different angles of CCTV, absolutely no evidence of vandalism, and yet Andy: No, except except for the White House employees pouring the fucking hydroxide ⁓ peroxide in there. And of course the president's motorcade driving across it two days after it had been painted. Yeah. A fucking motorcade, a twenty thousand pound car with a fat trump in it, driving across the freshly painted surface of the reflecting pool. Well done. Mark: Hyd hydrogen peroxide into Yeah, exactly. No, it's ⁓ is that what they did? Andy: Prat. Mark: no, but it's you know, I it w it was a re it seems like a relatively minor thing, but I was listening to a report yesterday or the other day that you know this fellow Todd Blanche ⁓ with the ⁓ DOJ the the ⁓ acting DOJ fellow, he has signed off on new rules and regulations where he is able to decide which prison prisoners are sent to. Andy: No. Mark: Never happened in the history of the states. That's the prisons department, and there's rigorous rules and regulations, severity of the ⁓ crime, all of that sort of thing. All thrown out the window. Todd Blanche now has the power, or the DOJ, Todd Blanche, has the power to send prisoners to wherever he wants. So that means. Andy: Yeah. Categories. Hmm. When the word supermax springs to mind. Mark: So any Democrat or enemy, as it were, or critic of Trump gets sent to Supermax, and any MAGA supporter gets sent on home leave. Andy: Yeah, with a little tag. Mark: I mean it's just Andy: And you're you you have to be home by three AM and you're not allowed out again 'til three thirty. Mark: I I wonder if if Trump is if is if he's still in power in a couple of years time Well, ⁓ we're going to start seeing some pretty bad s I mean, you know you know you always think of places like I don't know, give me an example of where people disappeared, Argentina and all Andy: He won't be alive in a couple of years' time. North Korea. Mark: You know, but it's literally just on the b or it's started to a minor extent, but it could happen, you know, hundreds or thousands of people may just start disappearing in America soon. Andy: Well, I mean that was that was one of ⁓ Saddam Hussein's tricks, wasn't it? Making citizens disappear. Mark: To disappear people. Because, you know, i everything is pointing in that direction. Everything is pointing in that direction. Andy: Yep. Fascist dictatorship. Mark: Here's a question for you coming to the UK. I was absolutely when did Keir Starmer resign? Was it Andy: ⁓ well, technically this is bullshit because apparently he doesn't leave till September. What kind of resignation is that? That's not a resignation. Mark: But I was absolutely certain that there were reports on the day after Keir Starmer resigned that Andy Burnham would be the new Prime Minister. Andy: Actually I can tell you he was Yes. He resigned on Monday an hour after we recorded and I said we were gonna lose Keir Starmer today. Mark: You didn't. I'd like to hear the bloody playback of that. Andy: I did. I said Keostarmer. Well, that would be a nice change if you actually listened to our podcast even while we're recording it. But yes, I told you that Keir Starmer would lose the premiership that very day. And sure enough, ⁓ it was on my feed an hour later. Mark: Yeah. Well Well, what I can't understand is is Andy Burnham the new Prime Minister or does he have to be voted in? Is there a competition or does just he take over de facto? Andy: Okay, bearing in mind the way politics is at the moment, no one in the Labour Party will stand against him simply because you saw what happened with Keir Starmer and the public. Andy Burnham is, as far as the Labour voters are concerned, the answer to Nigel Farage. Nobody else. So to go stand against him is political suicide. So they are gonna basically parachute in a non MP to ⁓ to be Prime Minister. Only only for the last week. No, it's not. No, it's not. And bear in mind, he is gonna be worse than Keir Starmer. I've told you about his pedigree. He is so fucking Blairite, it's unbelievable. We're the ⁓ they're gonna regret this. Mark: He is an MP you he's just b Yeah, but that's fair enough. He has been an MP before. Andy: ⁓ you when I say in a year's time, I told you this would happen, you'll say, You didn't say anything about that Mark: Well, the thing is that a lot of the critics of Keir Starmer who have been calling for his resignation, they've you've what did you say? You've got to be what do you say? You've got to be careful what you wish for. And now it's happened, they're going to end up with Andy Burnham as Prime Minister, which I'm absolutely certain is far worse for them than Keir Starmer ever was. Andy: Yes. Yes it's far worse for everybody. It's far worse for everybody. Mark: ⁓ Andy: He he will he will be exactly the same as Tony Blair. If if Andy Burnham had been in charge when Trump said send me warships, we would be at war with Iran. Yep, hundred percent. Mark: Do you think so? ⁓ Well, we don't have to worry about it 'cause we're not at war with Iran. It's all solved. It's all resolved. Andy: ⁓ now it's all back on again. Mark: Is it back on this morning? Andy: Of course. It's it only gets resolved on a Friday, and then we're back at it on a Monday. Yeah. Mark: ⁓ Ahead of the weekend. So there's that going on. There's the non-Iran. There's the reflection pool not reflecting anything. There's a new Labour leader. Did you I was just about to say Katie Price. Her name's not Katie Price. Who's that pretty horrible expresenter on LBC? Katie Hopkins? She was shouted out of a pub in London. Did you see that? She went into a pub in London to watch the football match. Andy: Katie Hopkins. Did she go in with Tony Rob ⁓ Tony Ten names? Tommy Tommy Ten names, yeah. Mark: Tommy Robinson. ⁓ I don't know if he was there, but she literally got shouted out. Andy: ⁓ did she though? Or was she welcomed and treated like a queen? Mark: No, but well, the expression on her face and her swearing and pushing people with cameras around, ⁓ it didn't look like she was very happy. Andy: Yeah, it's not the best place to to go into a football crowd when you're a controversial celebrity is not the best idea because no one is gonna say, Hey, look, it's Katie Hopkins, let's get a selfie. They're gonna sing songs at you, they're gonna they're gonna abuse you. Even if they like you, they're gonna abuse you. Mark: ⁓ You were right about ⁓ you know we were talking about it ⁓ this ⁓ World Cup football thing that Trump isn't going to any of the matches. Was it you who said that he wasn't going to any matches with English speaking crowds? Well th that is literally what's happening. He's not going to any matches where there are English speaking crowds 'cause he could understand the chance. Andy: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, as long as he doesn't understand that they're calling him a fucking nonce, then he doesn't mind. Mark: But Epstein, the name Epstein is the same in any language, so I'm sure he'll be able to pick up on the fact that they're chanting about him and Epstein. Andy: Yeah, he's probably under the impression they're singing, We're sorry about the Epstein rubbish. We don't believe the Epstein lies Mark: I mean that everything isn't it funny how literally everything that he he ⁓ supports backfires on him. I mean blows up in his face. Everything. Andy: Well, anyone who's supposed to be advising him could have told him that it's gonna blow back in his face. But they won't. Because they're all terrified of losing their fucking jobs. Mark: Sycophant, isn't that the word? Andy: Or they're all trying to queue up to be next in line for the job. And of course without his blessing, they've got a much lower chance of getting the job. Mark: I don't know if it's true, I don't know if it's necessarily relevant, but did you know that J. D. Vance's wife is still a practising Hindu? Andy: Is she not very good at it? How long has she been practicing? Mark: No, but you know when J. D. Vance is always promoting this Christian national nonsense? Andy: Yeah, but we all know that it's a political lie. Mark: Well no, I realise that, but it is pretty incongruous, if that's the right word, that his own wife is in fact ⁓ a Hindu. Nothing wrong with that at all. ⁓ do what you like. But the fact that it's his wife who's a Hindu and he's supposed he he wants to export all of these non Christians out of the country. Andy: Yeah. Well, Trump built a wall to stop immigrants getting in while importing his entire family from other countries. Mark: Yeah. In fact, I was reading somewhere that even Trump I think his own children shouldn't be entitled to American passports because when when he had children with whoever his previous missus was, she wasn't an American citizen. Andy: They've all got the same name. I don't know. Ivanka, Ivana, i Ivarica. Mark: So if he cancels birthright Yeah, that's right, the one who died falling down a staircase. Andy: What? I didn't know about this. Mark: Didn't didn't ⁓ w once w Trump's first wife die falling down a staircase? Andy: That's not suspicious at all. Mark: Let me let me I don't want to I don't want to besmirch his good name, so I better Andy: That's fucking so suspicious falling down a staircase. Mark: Hang on. Andy: How many people do you know died falling down staircases? Mark: Let think. There was that very ⁓ anyway, let me so how how shall I f how did Andy: How did Trump's first wife die? Mark: Trump's How did Trump's f ⁓ my god Look can you read that? F top of the list How did Trump's first wife die? Andy: Do you know there was a very famous famous case? No. There's a very famous case in America of a guy who whose th first three wives accidentally fell down the stairs. Mark: A B C News, here we go. Former President Tri has died at the age of seventy three. Andy: What? Mark: Injuries sustained as a result of a fall. Andy: Hang on, she died at the age of 73, so this happened recently. Cause she wasn't the same age as him when they got married, for sure. Mark: Died age seventy three. And he and he and she is. ⁓ Eric Ivanka and and Donald Junior. Andy: Of course he would call one of ⁓ Donald Junior. Mark: First wife. Dead. Yes, you're right, not ⁓ not strange at all. ⁓ you I th I'm surprised you didn't know that. Even I knew that, and I don't know anything. Andy: I I don't take much notice of what goes on over there to be honest. I mean I laugh along I laugh at the headlines, but I don't sort of know anything more deep than that. Mark: Now changing the subject completely onto a slightly lighter tone was Andy: Can't get much lighter more more comedy than Trump. Mark: what was that post that appeared on Facebook from someone who is an old friend of yours talking about blonde, Blonde is best or something. And it was a picture of what I can only guess was hashish or whatever it's called. ⁓ what w what was that? Andy: Yes. That was It's best if we don't talk about it. Mark: There was a bloody Facebook post. You can't get much more public than that. Andy: I know, I was a little bit surprised and I know he'll be watching this and I'm a little bit surprised, sir. Mark: I don't I don't think it was a picture I don't think it was a video of him. I think it was a video of some are you sure? Really? 'Cause I noticed those fingers. They're not very pretty. Andy: ⁓ it was. I recognize those fingers. but I will never stand up in I will never stand up in court and say that. So don't come after me, CIA and FBI. I'm not standing up for ya. Mark: Ha ha. ⁓ dear, well it's the DEA, isn't it? Drug enforcement agency, if that's the right word. Andy: they wouldn't have much pull in the United Kingdom. ⁓ unless Andy Burnham was the Prime Minister, then he'd let them. Mark: No, in Camden. So you think that Andy Burnham is going to be a Trump sycophant? Andy: Absolutely, hundred percent. Trump's already given him some great advice in the in the newspaper this morning. He said, ⁓ he's a little bit liberal, but I would say to him, Come on, Andy, drill, baby drill. Get that North Sea oil flowing. Mark: I see. He didn't Drill baby drill ⁓ dear so anyway, so what else is going on? Come on, what's on the front page of the current ban or have you already done that? Andy: ⁓ not good news. Venezuela, two earthquakes, tens of thousands dead. Mark: ⁓ yes, that's right. What? How many? Andy: Tens of thousands feared dead. Mark: Seven point five and seven point two. Yeah. Andy: ⁓ seven point two and seven point five. Mm. Mark: Really. Andy: So that's bad news for Venezuela who've only just lost their president to a kidnapping. Mark: Isn't it amazing how how fundamentally lucky we are to live in a natural world safe area. We don't have to worry about tsunamis, earthquakes, floods, anything like that. And yet by Andy: ⁓ but not the UK. According to yesterday's newspaper, f ⁓ warning of death, danger of death warnings were issued because it was a bit warm. Mark: Yeah, well you see that now you sound a bit bit crazy, Andy. I mean it was warm, it was nearly thirty six degrees. Andy: I sound crazy. they they shut hundreds of schools. That is pathetic and ridiculous. People go to school every day in those temperatures elsewhere in the world. What I remember in 1976, I remember in 1977, stop being such a wet wanker. In 1976, we had a heat wave that lasted for two months. And guess what? Mark: Yes, that's right. Wouldn't wa Why? Why? Yeah, 'cause they're used to them. Yeah. No I've just Andy: We all went to school. Nobody died of it. It's fucking pathetic. Mark: How do you know? I don't think any school children died of it in the seventies, but lots of elderly people do. Who cares? Andy: Yeah, so why so what pff that's okay, that's natural selection, we need that. You can't you can't just s did we learn nothing from the c Covid nonsense about shutting schools? Mark: But look. You are you are so totally useless. Did you not hear the news reports? It's new record highs. It wasn't that hot in seventy eight. Andy: ⁓ fuck off. Fuck off, it's not new record highs. It's new record highs this year. It's it's like our g it's like our ghost stories. It's the most haunted house. It's not. It's the most haunted house today in this story. But it's not the most haunted house of all time. Mark: No it's not Look You'll So when they say this is the hottest temperature ever recorded in June Andy: ⁓ fuck off are you telling me that we've never been higher than thirty-six degrees in England? That's bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Mark: Yes. What do you mean? No it's not, it's not. It's true. You remember in nineteen seventy eight when you were a nipper, fourteen years old, do you remember it was Andy: Mm 1976, mate. I was thirteen. I was barely out of pickpocket in school. I just learned me first dip. Just f just learned me first dip and had me first two girls working on the streets for me. Mark: Exactly. And you remember the temperature. I just don't understand why you get so w how does the children in England not going to school affect you? Andy: It's just this fucking be afraid shit that they keep pumping out. ⁓ it's raining. Fear of flood. Fear of flood, everyone. Can you imagine if we actually went to war? Who the fuck are you gonna send to fight? Because these cunts won't go. It's too hot. It's too cold. It's too wet. I don't want to. Mark: How do how did we get how do we Andy: How did we get to this? That's what I'm asking. How did we get to this? That we are the wettest bunch of fucking wankers in the whole world. That we need to be told, don't travel, don't travel, because the sun's out. And I know it's summer, but the sun will kill you. Mark: When was the last time you commuted to work in London? Andy: Fucking many, many years ago. Mark: And don't you remember what it was like? Andy: I didn't die. Mark: So that's your measure of of reasonable or unreasonable, whether you die. It's a pretty Andy: Do you look, when I was at work in London, it was important to turn up to work, otherwise you got bollocked. Nowadays, it's acceptable not to come in because ⁓ do you know what? One of my toenails needs cutting. I'm gonna be about two hours late. This is a job for two people. I ⁓ Mark: I think you need to get a job at the Daily Mail, Andy. You do very well. Have you ever tried to be a journalist? Andy: I they wouldn't accept my stories, they would say they were too fanciful. What do you mean man goes to work and it's thirty eight degrees? No one's gonna believe that. Now get yourself back into the fridge. Mark: It was Sussex, I think, that scored the highest temperature, thirty six point eight or something. Or thirty five point eight, I can't remember what it was. Andy: ⁓ so what So what? Well what a great day to be a criminal 'cause the police aren't allowed to run to catch you in case they overheat. So you might as well go out and do some smash and grabs. Mark: Alright, when was the last time you actually experienced thirty six degrees? Andy: ⁓ when I was in Ath ⁓ when I was in Greece we hit over forty when they had a heat wave in Athens and I was on an island about an hour and a half outside of Athens and yes it was hot. And yes, you didn't want to move a lot, but you just got under a shower and the shower was even the cold water was warm. But you know, you just got on with it. I still had to work. Mark: Work you were a diving instructor. Andy: No, I was working as a barman in the hotel. Which was great because I had all the access to all the beer I required to keep cool. Mark: Do you think your diving affected your health long term? Andy: No, I didn't do enough of it, but it can. It can definitely affect your your bone density, your your mental state. Especially if you suffer from yeah, because you can starve the brain of oxygen if you're not careful. You have to be very careful when you're using gases to breathe rather than natural air. Mark: Mental state. Well what? So you cause a little bit of brain damage, sort of thing. Andy: You can. I mean, what do you think the Benz is when you come up too quickly and you get sort of ⁓ bubbles in your blood, you get nitrogen gas in the blood. ⁓ so that affects the brain. And anything that affects the brain is more or less permanent. You don't have temporary brain hits. If you get concussion, that's there for life, the scarring. Mark: Have you ever Yes, So do you think that's an explanation? I mean for you. You. Andy: For there's nothing wrong with me. My brain is sharp as attack. ⁓ Mark: Hehehehehe ⁓ dear. All right. So anyway, so you're not bothered about the heat. Well that's good. That's very good. Andy: No. And I I I laugh in the face of anyone who says, ⁓ too ⁓ Mark: Yeah, you are you are so pathetic. I mean I don't want to report it, but prior to this recording were you not complaining about sitting in a telephone queue? It's not, it's exactly the same thing. It is exactly the same thing. It's at level of inconvenience. Andy: That is completely different. That is mental torture. How is it? At least in 40 degrees, at least in 40 degrees, I can lay out and get a crispy tan. While I'm sitting waiting on the phone for some non-entity to answer for two and a half hours, that is not the same. Yeah. Mark: ⁓ yeah. I don't want to go now. I don't want to go now 'cause I had to wait an hour to speak to someone on the telephone. What is talking about woke? Andy: Yeah. Hang on. I'm just gonna mute you. It's all fake news. It's phony stuff. It didn't happen. Mark: ⁓ Andy: Also in the news today. Mark: Alright. Yeah. Come on, tell Andy: Not very much. ⁓ there was a poor guy who was singing at a festival in Brazil and he became a bit of a YouTube hit because he was on stage and in the audience there were just two ladies. And ⁓ it was reported that it was his mum and his aunt. Mark: No. I'll tell you what, I think to go anywhere in Brazil and to only have two people in short is pretty unusual. Andy: And I mean we're not talking about a small we're talking about a an outdoor festival type stage here. It's big. Big arena. But anyway. He seemed to enjoy himself. Mark: It may must have been practicing. Andy: No, no. He was on at eight PM and he claimed it was too early because people were still working, but he said there were lots of people out of that shot that you didn't see. There were people who were manning the stalls and there were the security. So there were other people, you just couldn't see them. But apparently on the back of that story, he got an extra 10,000 Instagram followers. So win-win. Mark: What's he called? I want to look at this picture. Andy: Okay. Mark: His name is Andy: Ronnie Serasterio Mark: And how is that an S or a C? Andy: Well, first of all it's Ronnie with a Y. Mark: Okay, that's suspicious. Andy: And it's no, 'cause it's Brazilian, Portuguese, you know. And then it's S-E-R-E-S-T-E-I-R-O. ⁓ Mark: All right. Ronnie's terror stereo, yes, you're right. Andy: Singing in singing to an empty stadium in southern Brazil. Bless him. Mind you, we sit here pontificating to an empty internet every every fucking Sunday morning. So can't really criticize anyone else for doing exactly what we've been doing for the last five fucking years. Mark: Yeah. You're right, actually. How can you be criticising this poor fellow? It's not five years, is it? I suppose it is if it's two hundred and fifty episodes. Andy: It's five years on the nineteenth of July. Mark: So, is this two hundred and fifty three episodes or are you including the Patreon episodes? Andy: No, this is just our Sunday episodes. Mark: I can't believe it's five years. Andy: Yes. Fifty three weeks in a year. Mark: Two hundred and fifty two hundred and fifty episodes, let me ask you this. How many of those two hundred and fifty episodes would you think are memorable in terms of quality? Andy: ⁓ shit. ⁓ all of them. I think I I mean, I know I shouldn't blow my own trumpet, but I think they're fabulous, all of ⁓ Mark: They're all unique and I would say a good proportion of them are are are certainly quite entertaining. Some of them are complete Andy: That's the that's that's what you've got to measure. That's what you've got to use to measure. If you can listen to the whole thing, then obviously it's ⁓ entertaining. And that's got to be the measure. If you turn off after ten minutes, then it doesn't count as anything. Mark: No, but some of them you have to I mean the one the standout one of complete and utter bollocks was that that golfing pyramid in Vegas. That golfing shop. Andy: Look, the content the content of this podcast is pretty much secondary to anything else. I mean, you've got to understand this week, for our two hundred and fiftieth anniversary, I was struggling to come up with anything because of my other commitments that I was focused on. I didn't really have time to do a lot of thinking about what subject I was gonna cover. And you're gonna you're gonna go, ⁓ that's just lazy. You're n yeah. No, it's not David Ike. No, because that would be just lazy. But ⁓ you're not gonna like it. You're not gonna like it, but it's actually quite good stuff. But ⁓ bef Mark: I say that every week. It's not David Icke. Yeah, why don't we just do another David Icke? What? Now I'm sure you could dig up something you're his fashion designer. Did I tell you I think we spoke last week about this talking about lack of celebrities out there at the moment, that Kim Kardashian's hairdresser is appearing on Come Dancing or whatever that thing is. Andy: Mm-hmm. Yeah, you said Yeah. Well, I mean ⁓ we can't w none of us can wait for that. Can you imagine the gossip she's gonna come forth with? Mark: But how can that be of interest to the general public? Andy: It's not. But who the fuck wants to go on skating fucking shows? Mark: No, but they're very popular. I mean they have very good ⁓ viewership thingamy bobs, ratings. Andy: So does Trump. Mark: ⁓ I suppose so. If you look at it in those terms, Andy: Doesn't mean anything. I mean, y when you say very good viewership ratings, don't forget when we were younger, ⁓ a program would have like thirty million viewers. Now they boast about six million. And the average for a soap opera, which used to be twenty, twenty five million, is now two point four million. Mark: Twenty five million. When did twenty five million people stop and watch East Enders every night? That's just nonsense. Andy: It happened in the eighties when it first ⁓ when it first came out, I promise you they had twenty million viewers. Mark: Is Coronation Street still going? Are you sure about that? Andy: Yes. It's like Trigger's broom though. It's got well, in Only Fools and Horses, Trigger was a road sweeper. And they honoured him for having the same broom for 25 years at work. And he did a speech and he said, Yep, I remember first day I got my broom and since then he's had three new handles and two new heads. But it's still the same broom Mark: I don't know what that is. Yeah. Andy: So Coronation Street has probably got none of the original casting and Mark: Well, of course not. It's going been going for fifty years, unless Doc Cotton is still alive or is she now dead? ⁓ was she? ⁓ I know a character out of ⁓ Coronation Street or I met her once. No, there was a character I think I can't remember if No, she was either called Fiona or her character was called Fiona. She was at my cousin's wedding. Andy: she was an East Enders. ⁓ but yeah. Really, Julie Good Year. Or was that just what your hookah looked like? No idea. Mark: Do you ever watch it? No. Andy: No. That's the sort of thing that Gary used to watch. He would watch East Enders and Coronation Street unfailingly. Because it's Gary. Mark: No no no, but why does why why is it entertaining to watch something like that? Andy: It's not. It's not. It's depressing. It's like I mean, do you know what? I saw that they have re-released or released Gavin and Stacey on Amazon Prime now from ser season one all the way through. Did you watch that when it was first out? Mark: Gavin and Stacy, no, what is it, a cop show? Like Starskin Hutch? Andy: No, it's a comedy. It was a a comedy on ITV or BBC or Channel Four, I don't know. But it was very, very popular. And I remember watching it at the time and thinking this was hilarious. And everyone was watching it except you. So I thought, you know what? It's been fifteen years, whatever. I'll ⁓ I'll sit through that again. So I I started sitting through it yesterday and it's not anywhere near as funny as I thought it was now. Mark: Mm, times have changed. Andy: Yeah, but so quickly. I mean there's some stuff that still stands up after twenty twenty five years, but this isn't one of ⁓ Mark: Faulty Towers, that's certainly one. You can't s you can't help but laugh when you're watching Faulty Towers. I wonder if youngsters find it funny. Andy: Yeah. well they certainly the Swedish would, but then they find Mr Bean funny for some reason. I've never understood. Mark: ⁓ Andy: No, not at all. Worst thing Rowan Atkinson ever did. Mark: Mr Bean made him a fortune, Andy: Yeah, fucking pathetic. Yeah, but you know it's just not funny. Not to me. Mark: Isn't it? Some of it is. I'll tell you he did do something quite pathetic recently called was it called Mr B or something where he's a child minder. That I I I I I started watching that on one of the channels. I gave up after ten minutes. It was just silly. Andy: I don't know. Any man who is a childminder should be looked at very closely. Fucking true story. It's true. There's nothing in your there's nothing in your genes to be a nurturer as a man. Nothing. Why would you want to look after why would you want to look after children unless you had some sinister ulterior motive? Mark: It Nothing in your genes, said Wha wha what do you mean? I love looking after my grandchildren. Andy: you need looking at. I'm reporting you to social services. Mark: So any loving grandparents are immediately suspicious to you. Andy: Look, I didn't say anything about grandparents, I said a man who wants to be a childminder. Mark: What do you mean I was talking about my grandchildren? Andy: If a man's ambition is to be an a manny, then we need to take a good look at that man. Mark: ⁓ you know, you gotta be careful what you say, Andy, 'cause people read this as what do you call it? Projecting. You're projecting your own your own suspici No but no no no no no no. No no no no no but Exactly, 'cause if you found yourself in the situation you couldn't resist it, could you? Andy: Fuck do I look like I'm working as a manny? Do you ever see me with children? No, you don't. And I'm telling you why, I wouldn't. No, I just don't like fucking kids. It's quite straightforward. I don't mind other people's kids from a distance. But no thanks. God, could you imagine working with those noisy little lively fuckers? I w actually, yeah, I would end up killing them. There'd be no sexual abuse, but there would be deaths. Mark: I can't honestly remember. How long w were you at home looking after Han not looking after her, but how long were you together with as a family unit? Andy: Well, until Hannah was probably three, three and a half. But don't forget she lived with me full time. When she was older, obviously. Mark: All right, okay. So Yeah. No, she was a teenager at that stage. Yeah. Andy: Yeah. I got the best years. Fucking hell. Mark: Yeah. Yes, I can't see I can't see you minding anything, in fact. I'm surprised you're a very good catminder. Andy: ⁓ I'm not. Well they're some I'm sometimes I want to kill them as well, especially Reggie. He's a three o'clock in the morning screamer. If I'm not out of bed by three o'clock he wants to know why. Mark: Three o'clock, that's in the middle of the night. Andy: Yeah, for you. But sometimes he he gets a bit previous and it's only one thirty or quarter to two and it's ⁓ Yes, 'cause he can see the bottom of the bowl. There's a hole in the food that needs filling. Mark: What's he waking you up for? A feed or something? You are kidding. You have to get up at three o'clock in the morning to feed your cats. It's g i I put Andy: I'm not. Yeah. Well, I am usually up by that time to be fair. Anyway, we've gone on long enough. It's episode two fifty. I don't want to lose the audience before we've started. So what I decided Episode two. So what I decided at the end of the day was to take Mark: I think we lost them a long time ago. Episode a hundred and ten, I think, was the last time. Andy: People's real life experiences of uncanny and supernatural happenings and compile some stories of real life stuff. Because we did that ghostly episode a couple of weeks ago and it was lame. The stories involved were very thin, as you said. So I thought we'd take people's real life experiences. So this first one comes from someone called Hola Como Estas seventy seven. I'm guessing maybe. Mark: But hang on, is this off Reddit or something? Andy: They've got true ghost stories and true uncanny experiences all over the place. Mark: So how do you know this is true life experiences as reported on Reddit? Andy: Because they've left their because they've left their full name and address. Hola, como estas seventy seven. Mark: No, that means hello, how are you? That's not a name, Andy. You complete idiot. Hello, how are you sixty six seventy seven? Andy: Yes That's their full name and address. Now seventy seven. Otherwise you'd be knocking on the wrong door. Now, back in the 1960s, my family, my family was given an antique bedroom set. Mark: We can't we can't listen to it like that. Andy: But I I haven't done an accent for a while. Back in the 60s, my family was given an antique bedroom set that had belonged to my deceased uncle. It was old. I can't do this for long story. It was old, but beautifully made. The kind of furniture built to last for generations. But there was something about it. Mark: You won't have a voice. Andy: That felt different, almost like it carried a piece of the past with it. My younger brother and I shared the bedroom and we slept in the same bed. A bit too much information. One night I woke up and I saw a man standing in our room, and I watched as he slowly walked out through the doorway. I was still half asleep and convinced myself. It had just been a dream. Mark: Probably good. Good good convincing. Well done. Andy: I closed my eyes and went back to sleep. Later that night though I woke up again, and this time I saw the man return, and I watched in disbelief as he moved towards the old mirror in the room, and then something happened that I still can't explain to this day. No, the man climbed into the mirror and disappeared. I was terrified. Mark: No reflection. Andy: I didn't know if I was awake or dreaming. I said nothing and stayed completely still, hoping it was over. The next night I decided to stay awake. I needed to know if my mind was playing tricks on me. And it happened again. The man appeared from the mirror. He slowly crawled out, stopped for a moment, and looked directly at us. He then just stood there silently watching. Before turning around and walking out of the room. Frozen with fear, I woke my brother, and we stayed awake together, hiding under the blankets, watching and waiting. And sure enough, the man came back. Mark: What had he used the loo or something? He'd had a dump in the toilet and then come come back to go back into his home in the mirror. Andy: Possibly. We both saw him walk into the room and crawl through the mirror once again. And that was the moment we completely broke down. We ran to our parents' room crying, terrified, and told them what we had seen. Our father, of course, didn't believe us. He laughed it off and sent us back to bed, saying we must have had a bad dream. But we were too scared to sleep in that room again. So we grabbed our blankets and pillows and we made a bed for ourselves in the hallway. When our parents saw how frightened we were, they eventually switched rooms with us. But a few days later we woke up to the sound of a massive crash. We ran to see what had happened. Our father was standing there, pushing the old dresser and mirror down the back steps. Without saying a word, he went into the garage and Came back with gasoline and an axe and destroyed the entire bedroom set. Then he burned it. He never explained what he had seen. He never admitted to anything, but we knew whatever it was, he had seen it too. Later, my mother asked us to describe the man. We told her everything we remembered. She became quiet, and then she told us that the man we described. Looked exactly like my uncle, the very person who had owned the bedroom set before he died. To this day, I still don't know what I saw that night. Was it a dream, a memory, or something connected to that old mirror? I don't know, but this story will haunt me for the rest of my life, because some things you see only once, or twice, but you never truly forget them. Mark: Wait this To his name again, do the Hola to his name. Andy: Hola, ¿cómo estás? Seventy seven. Mark: I mean, you know, as a two hundred and fiftieth episode, this is a perfect illustration of the d the depth of sincerity that we have in our stories. I mean Reddit is absolute I mean, you know, it's good for entertainment, there's no doubt about that. But is there anything on Reddit that resembles reality? Andy: These people believe their stories, ⁓ Mark: No, no, no, it's not I mean, I I think this is a little storyteller. It's a little essay that someone's put together which is perfectly reasonable, but Hola seventy seven, there's Andy: No, but that's y user names are user names. ⁓ you know, some people call themselves fucking little dick one. It usernames mean nothing. I've got usernames in various platforms that have nothing to do with who I am. Mark: What? What do you mean? Andy: I'm known as tennis ball in certain platforms. Mark: What when you go ⁓ trolling people, abusing people online? Andy: No, no. ⁓ when I'm in f certain forums. If it's a forum connected to a game, I'm known as tipsy. Tennis ball. Yes. Mark: A forum? What are you talking about? A g how old are a gaming forum? I had a really good battle yesterday. I killed thirteen aliens. Andy: Yes. Mm, and then they got me and now I'm being incubated. I'm being incubated. I got a when they put a thing down your throat and you grow an alien in your belly. Mark: It was game over, said What the hell's incubated? Is that when it's game over? God dear. Andy: Okay, let's go on to the next story. Mark: Don't tell me this is also Reddit, please. Andy: Celebrate our two hundred and fiftieth here. This one. Mark: Username. Yes, no, I wanna hear it. Come on. Yes. Andy: I'm not gonna tell you. No, ⁓ because I seem to have missed this one. Hang on, let me see. Username Truth beyond the noise. Are you mocking truth beyond the noise? Mark: Not at all, I'm sure it's gonna be a great little story. Once upon a time when I was a young lad, Andy: I was around ten to twelve years old when this happened. Mark: So with the other kids. Andy: Maybe it was the same kids. Mark: I'm a bit worried that you're on Reddit forums that focus on ten year old children. Andy: no I didn't have your password to get in, so My family had just moved into a new house and I felt the energy of that house just being off. I couldn't place it at first until I started seeing this shadow figure out of the corner of my eye. At first it was always quick. I'd do a double take and it would already be gone. And my family has always believed I was gifted when it comes to seeing things, and this shadow figure Would be a quick glimpse for a while until one night it did something terrifying. Me, my mum, and my sister were all in the living room watching TV. I got up to use the bathroom and left the bed the bathroom door wide open. From the bathroom, you could see straight down the hallway into the living room. The kitchen was off to the left, and my bedroom door was right near the bathroom. While I was sitting there, I suddenly saw the shadow figure again, except this time it didn't disappear instantly. It came from the kitchen and moved down the hallway right in front of the bathroom door before turning sharply and going straight into my bedroom. The speed of it was Mark: I'm not surprised if this fella was sitting on the toilet I'd be turning pretty damn sharply in the other direction. Andy: The speed of it was unreal. The only way I can describe it is like a vampire moving in the vampire diaries, unnaturally fast, but I could still fully see it. It was like a man, but with no features, just a shape. Like, imagine your shadow on a wall, but taking form in the middle of the room. Mark: I can do that, yep. Andy: Anyways, I ran back into the living room with my pants half down, trying to gasp the words out to my mum and sister because I was so terrified. Mark: You have read to the end of this story, it is suitable for general consumption. Andy: It's his mum and his sister. Just because he's showing them her his pee pee, there's nothing overtly sexual about it. He's terrified. I would imagine it's shriveled up and his ten year old PP wouldn't be very much to look at anyway, would it? Mark: Yeah, but Andy: After that night I started to see it at school. My sister would be with me, and I would be like he's in the corner over there in the shadow. It wouldn't be all the time, maybe a few times a month, a quick glimpse, nothing compared to that form running at me. I did my best not to give it attention or acknowledge it, knowing that it would only make things worse. A year later, my older sister got her first apartment. She was around eighteen or nineteen, and she invited us over for a sleepover. After the night settled down, I was laying on her bed waiting for my other sister to finish showering so we could play Monopoly. My older sister walked past the bedroom door, looked in, and then suddenly backed up and stared at me with this really concerned look on her face. She's always been heavily into spirits and paranormal stuff. She used to go to graveyards with her friends and believed that she could see things too. Mark: Perfectly normal. Andy: Yeah, at that age it actually is. We used to hang around Highgate Cemetery. Mark: Eighteen? I bet you did. Andy: We did. Without saying a single freaking word, she started cleansing the apartment and me. After she finished, she told me she saw a shadow figure hovering above me in the corner of the room near the bed. She said it felt like bad energy and that I no longer need to worry about the shadow figure anymore. My older sister actually lived with my dad, so she never knew about the encounters I'd had with the shadow figure. But ever since that night I've never seen the figure again or felt anything like it. I'm twenty four now, and this still creeps me out to think about. Just typing this story gave me the chills. Knowing something like that could have been following me as a kid honestly makes me wonder what would have happened if my sister had not stepped in that night. Mark: I'm I'm interested, what did she use? Do you think a bit of fairy liquid or something? What was the cleansing process? Andy: Sage, burning sage, it's always sage. Do you know nothing about the paranormal? Mark: What? What you talking about burning sage? Andy: Yeah, you burn sage to cleanse a house. Mark: I've never heard of that at all. Why that's not normal general knowledge. Andy: Okay, I want you to Google Burning Sage. Mark: Yeah, but now now now they've been talking about it, so it will come up straight away. I don't know what the sun is the sun was still there. Here we go. Burning Sage. Burger King Burning man. Burning sage in your home. Searching? Burning sage or do you know what it's called? It's quite a nice word, actually. No? Smudging or Andy: Cleansing. Smudging. Yeah, ⁓ actually I have heard that before. Mark: ⁓ an ancient indigenous practice used to clear negative energy and purify the air. Well it's a bit like joystick. Andy: There you go. Yes, except it's sage. We have a guest. Hello, Reggie. Hello, Matey. Mark: So that's it. That is the story, replied. Andy: He was he was stalked by a spirit as a child. Is that not enough? Mark: He wasn't stalked, he saw him once, said Andy: No, he saw him all over the place. Mark: And then and then his his older sister, who sounded a bit you know, we saw her parading around after the shower. She got a bit of cleaning products out. Andy: No. And solve the problem. Mark: And that was it. And that was the end of it. Andy: Well done. Well done, sis. Mark: Yeah, what dances? Andy: Well now we have a story from used yogurt six six ⁓ four. Mark: Used yogurt. That does not sound very good, I'll tell you what. Andy: It sounds like something from American pie. Mark: God dear. And what was the number? There must be some relevance. Six six four. Andy: six six ⁓ four. Mark: Hm, what's the relevance there? Andy: Maybe April nineteen sixty six. Mark: No. Andy: Why not? If you're American, that would be exactly how you would write it. Mark: I don't know. Would it? Andy: Yes, they always do year, month, day. Mark: And England is day, month, year. What Sweden? Andy: Yes, the right way. Day, month, year. No, they go American, don't they? Can you get off please? Thank you. Okay, ⁓ we're going to Taiwan. Mark: No it's not. Yeah, they do, they go American. Andy: And in nineteen ninety eight, well did you go to the Darkeng scenic area in Tai Chung? Mark: I've been there. Did you know that? No. Andy: Well, that's where we're going. So in 1998, a family in Taiwan went hiking in said Darkeng scenic area in Taichung. It was supposed to be an ordinary family outing. And remember, this is 1998. So someone brought along a V8 camcorder and recorded the group walking along the mountain trail near the famous wind-moving stone. Very famous. At the time, nothing seemed strange. The family walked together, surrounded by trees, mountain paths, and the quiet atmosphere of the Taiwanese countryside. Now the footage looked exactly like many old home videos from the nineties. I don't like them using the word old when it comes to the nineties. Slightly blurry, dull in colour, and shaky with each step of the person holding the camera. But later Mark: I know all about it. You're right. Andy: When the family reaches It's all fake news. ⁓ it's only stuff. And that didn't hear word from our sponsors. Get on. Get off. Get off. It's all fake news. Come on, it's phony stuff. It didn't happen. We've got a supernatural happenings going on on my soundboard. You bad boy. You bad boy. Mark: Yeah yes, that's not the bad boy tone, actually, Andy. Andy: He's so happy about it. Can you hear him? He's so happy about his naughtiness. So let's try and get back to this story. You bad bad. Mark: He's purring that Yeah, he's purring, isn't he? Yeah. It's riveting. Andy: Yes. So the camera's shaking, but later when the family replayed the recording, they noticed something that shouldn't have been there. At the very back of the hiking group, there was a small figure dressed in red, and she appeared to be following them. The strange thing was that no one in the family could remember seeing her on that day. She wasn't part of their group. She didn't speak to anyone, she didn't wave at the camera, she simply walked behind them, silent and close enough to be seen clearly in the footage. What made it even more disturbing was her face. Because of the low quality video, it was difficult to see her clearly, but the footage said that her face did not look like that. of a normal little girl. Some said she looked unusually old, and others said that her features seemed distorted. Some even believed her expression looked inhuman. The footage was later sent to a Taiwanese paranormal television program called Shen Chu Gui Ma. When it aired on TV, it caused a wave of fear across Taiwan. It's a very superstitious country. This was the nineties, remember. The internet wasn't yet the centre of everything. People still discovered strange stories through television, newspapers and word of mouth. So when the viewers saw the girl in red appear in what seemed to be a real family video, the impact was much, much stronger than a random creepy clip online today. And then the rumors began. Some people claim that after the hiking trip, one of the people in the group died. And this made the story more unsettling because people began connecting the red clad girl with ideas from Taiwanese folk belief. Being followed by something from the mountains, being chosen as a replacement or encountering a supernatural mountain entity. Over time, many people began linking the little girl in red to the Taiwanese legend of the Morsian A. Morsian R are not exactly ghosts. In Taiwanese folklore, they are more like mountain spirits or strange beings that live in forests or bamboo groves. Found in valleys and misty mountain areas, and are often described as small, childlike or monkey-like and dressed in red. And some stories say they have red eyes or red hats. They don't always attack people directly, instead, they confuse people. According to the legends, a person led away by a Moorsin R may suddenly become lost on a trail that they know well. They may disappear for hours or even days, and when found, they often seem confused, exhausted, or unable to explain what happened. Some even claim they were fed strange things, only for others to later suspect they'd actually been eating mud, grass, or insects. Taiwan has many stories like this. In one reported case from 2003, An elderly woman went to a mountain area in Ziji to sweep a grave. She walked ahead of her family for only a short time, but after they parked the car they couldn't find her. Her relatives searched the mountains, even using traditional folk methods like beating gongs and calling her name, hoping to guide her back. Days later she was found dead. In twenty fourteen, another elderly woman disappeared in Hualian. Mark: But hang on, hang on, hang on. Wha w what what's this woman disappearing and being found dead's got to do with any of these little red people with red beady eyes? Andy: This is the more choua that lead you away and make you confused. Mark: So a woman goes missing and is found dead and it's assumed these little red people have taken her away? Andy: Yes, because she was within sight of the family she was with where they were just parking the car and she was suddenly just gone. Mark: Well, that's never happened before, has it? Is there more to this story? Andy: In 2014, another elderly woman disappeared in Hwa Lin. Surveillance footage reportedly showed her walking unusually quickly for an oldie towards a rural mountain road. When she was later found, she claimed a little girl in red had led her there, and that elderly people had kept her company at night. In twenty fifteen an elderly woman in Kao Siung disappeared after going into the fields. She was eventually found weak but without any obvious injuries near a cemetery in the mountains. She said someone had taken her somewhere to sleep and had even prepared food to her or for her. Now these stories do not prove that more sin are exist, but they all share the same terrifying pattern. Someone leaves the familiar place, disappears, and returns unable to clearly explain what had happened. And that is why the little girl in red became so famous. Maybe she was just another hiker, distorted by old video quality, or maybe the television programme made the footage seem a little bit more frightening than it really was. Or maybe, as some still believe, she was indeed something from the mountains. Whatever the truth is, the image remains disturbing because it has never had a clear answer. So if she was only a passer by, why did no one remember seeing her that day? So if you ever walk into the mountains and you hear someone calling from behind you, maybe don't turn around too quickly. Mark: It's ⁓ I wonder where Little Red Riding was Little Red Riding Hood a baddie or the goody? Andy: ⁓ it depends on which version of the fairy tale you read. Because Little Red Riding Hood in one version actually wanted the wolf to eat grandma so that she could inherit the cottage. Mark: That's probably your version. Andy: It's true, Duck. So we're gonna go to a story from green temperature fifty seven. Mark: I mean the thing is that I wonder if these are AI generated. The sentence construction and everything is all very similar and it can't be all users use the same Andy: No. I can I can tell you when something is AI generated. I re I recognize the patterns of the AI generated stories. Mark: So you don't think these AR these are AI generated? Andy: No, no, because AI generally gives you a series of statements. It doesn't coherently string together sentences into a conversational type tale. Mark: But d don't you agree that the sentence structure and such like is is co all the three stories you wrote out, we've talked about it before. That's why I'm always amused when we do these Reddit things, they all sound the same. Andy: But you know, th there's this is why famous authors become famous, because they have a distinctive writing style. Most people don't. Most people write in a very similar style, which is bland, uninformed, and basically not entertaining. Mark: ⁓ what you mean like the three stories you've just read? Andy: I mean if I wrote a story obviously you'd be on the edge of your seat. Mark: Why don't you? Andy: I haven't got time for that nonsense. Mark: I'll tell you what, didn't we hear that Gary was writing a book about something? Andy: ⁓ dear God. Wasn't he writing wasn't it something to do with Chelsea? Mark: Was it it was about a football match or a football team? Andy: ⁓ no, it was about Chelsea fans. Mark: All right. Andy: I don't know, it was awful anyway, whatever he was talking about. Of course he had a deal, he had a book deal. ⁓ just yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was from the same people who invited him onto the Pippa Middleton welcoming committee. No, but that's what he was claiming when she came to do the Varselot. Mark: ⁓ really? Did he? Did he go and see Pippa Middleton? I remember. Andy: Do you not remember any of this? He said, ⁓ yeah I've been invited to the to join the official Pippa Middleton Welcoming Society Committee Can you imagine him dribbling down the front of her ski suit? Jesus. What a welcome. Mark: Yeah, you're right. I do. I remember That's a bit unkind. so Andy: It would be unkind to have him welcome Pippa Middleton. Mark: Yes, I'd feel sorry for her. She's she's married to some bloody hedge fund fellow. Whatever. How is it? Andy: ⁓ that's f years ago. Yeah. So have you already forgotten the name of the contributor for our next story? Mark: All right. So ⁓ moldy yogurt fifty five. Andy: No, no, this is green temperature fifty seven. Wife and I Mark: So there are that many user name user people who want to be called green temperature that they have to do fifty seven. Andy: Well, obviously the first fifty six were taken. Mark: Maybe he was born in fifty seven. Andy: Wife and I rented an Airbnb in Conroe, Texas, for a wedding that we recently attended. It was a nice home in a nice neighborhood. We really lucked out. It was well maintained, even though the furnishings and decorations were from another era. Think 50s with a 70s update. And then another recent update likely to make it presentable. As a rental. As we got comfortable, we surmised that it was likely an elderly relative who'd recently passed and the family that inherited it decided to do short-term rentals. We noticed there were a lot of coasters on all the tables. We got the hint and we were sure to use them. At one point, we even started for fun to express out loud something along the lines of: Don't worry, Grandma, we're using the coasters. These sound like a fun zany bunch, don't they? The f The first night was uneventful, and we woke up and spent most of the day at the wedding. Came back late and got ready for bed. Wife and I prefer to sleep in separate rooms. Well done that man. Mostly because I snore, but also for the comfort of having your own schedule. I tend to go to bed earlier, so I said good night. brought a glass of water to the bedroom, and I put it on the nightstand and crawled under the covers. As soon as I was tucked in, I heard the glass fall and bounce around quite a bit. I thought it was odd, as I didn't see a way that it could have been knocked off. I got out of bed to clean up the mess, and I immediately noticed that I didn't use a coaster. Without even thinking, I said, sorry, grandma, as I wiped up the spilled water. If that was it, there would be no story. But when I looked for the glass, Mark: I'm waiting for the story. Andy: When I looked for the glass, it was dead centre under the bed, standing straight up. I was unable to reach it and needed a broom to gather it out in the morning. I genuinely felt something odd had happened. Mark: Amazing. Andy: I got back into bed and drifted off to sleep. At some unknown hour there was a loud, close sounding bang and a terrifying shriek sound. I have never in my life shot straight up from the dead of sleep, but that's exactly what I did, from dead to the world to sitting straight up and wide awake. I got out of bed, did a quick lap around the house, and not seeing anything out of sorts, I went back to bed. Mark: What he didn't check on his misses? Andy: No, you waited till the morning because, you know. Mark: So you hear a loud scream in the middle of the night and he doesn't even bother checking on his misses? Andy: Telling I'm guessing ⁓ well, you know, every man for himself and all that. Equal rights. Mark: This fellow deserves everything he's gonna get. Andy: I'm telling my story to my wife in the morning and she looks pale. She said she also heard a loud bang in the middle of the night that started startled her wide awake. She didn't remember a shriek, but said the bang sounded right outside the wall and it terrified her. I agreed that this was what I experienced as well. Only thing we can figure is that grandma threw a tantrum for my lack of using the coaster. I kind of wanted to leave a short version of the story on the review, but felt it better just to give five stars and let future guests know what a charming house it was. Mark: What's That's it. So two people went to bed, heard a bang in the middle of the night, and that is the basis of a story for the two hundred and fiftieth episode of Strange Stuff Podcast. Andy: Terrifying story. Mark: Of all the stories that you could have picked up in the whole world, Andy: Well, this story Mark: Green green temperature, what was it? Six fifty seven varieties of beans, isn't it? Andy: Fifty seven. This story is gonna blow you away. Mark: It's gonna blow me to press that leave the chatroom button. Andy: This story comes from Wiggle My Toe. There's no E on the end of toe. So it's really wiggle my toe, but I think it's supposed to be wiggle my toe. Mark: Are the word counts similar on these stories? Do they all ha do they all have five hundred and ninety-seven words? Andy: You're sort of breaking up, I'm not catching what you're saying. Mark: I'm wondering if all the stories that you're reading have the same word count. Andy: ⁓ I went for sort of fairly short form so that I could squeeze in a good half dozen at least. Mark: Now I'm wondering if it's an instruction to the AI algorithm that, you know, write me a story. Andy: No, you can you can have it as long as you want. There are a couple of stories I've come across in the past that I thought would make a good episode, but then I couldn't find them again. Mark: I wanna know the name of that fellow who who didn't use a coaster, just so I remember if I ever have an Airbnb not allowing in my house. Not allowing him in my house. Andy: Well, you can take me off your list for a start 'cause I would never use a coaster. Mark: I d no, I don't have any coasters. Andy: Anyway, this story from Wiggle My Toe starts this is 100% true. I don't care if nobody believes me. I don't care if nobody believes me, because I have two witnesses. My mum and the woman. There is a second half to that sentence that I'm not going to divulge just yet. I'm a female of twenty three now. Mark: thank God for that finally finally a true story. Andy: This happened when I was in the fourth grade. For context, paranormal stuff wasn't exactly new to me. Before this happened, I'd already had a bunch of experiences from when I lived at my grandma's house. I had an imaginary friend, except I don't actually remember having one. My cousins do. They told me stories about how I used to make them play games with my friend and how it terrified them. But seriously, I have no memory of it. I also remember my dolls moving their heads, seeing shadows, and one especially weird incident when my dead grandpa's favourite song started playing on our laptop, with his ashes sitting on the shelf directly above it. As a child, this genuinely freaked me out. We then moved to this apartment, leaving my grandma's house. My mum was a single mum, so now it was just the two of us. We lived on the third floor of an apartment complex, and the apartment directly below us sat empty the entire time we lived there, which probably doesn't mean anything, but as a kid it always kind of creeped me out. I never really hated that apartment, but it definitely creeped me out a little. I was mainly only scared to be in my room. At night I would see these white floating blobs drift across my ceiling. I know how that sounds, I'm just telling you what I saw. I was so scared that I regularly would run out of my room and slept with my mum. Then one night my mum got fed up with me stealing half the bed and went to go and sleep in mine. And that's when she saw the white blobs floating around my ceiling. After that, she contacted a woman that my aunt knew, some spiritual healer, medium, energy reader, whatever you want to call her. I genuinely have no clue what or who she was. Mark: No, but was she an expert in white blobs? 'Cause it seems that this is the pr problem. Andy: This is a blob infestation. Mark: White blob infestation. Andy: Hello, can I have the white blob company, please? And mind you, before she even came over, the woman told my mum not to tell her anything about what I had experienced. Yes. No, she didn't want any any clues. She wanted to walk in blind. Mark: About the white blobs. No, she wouldn't want any information about them. No. Yeah, to the blobs. Andy: Now here's the part that sticks with me the most and it's gonna stick with you. Mark: I bet it will do like a cling on. Andy: A few weeks before this woman came over, I was having a sleepover with my friends. Let's call them Jack, male eleven and Jill, female eleven, for previous for privacy purposes, they were twins. I was really only friends with Jill, but Jack always had to come because they weren't allowed to be apart. Mark: Why why do they why can't you use their normal names? Why do they have to invent names? Jack and Jill came over to play. Andy: Yeah. So the three of us were sleeping on my bedroom floor. Our heads were against the wall with us facing my room. Jill was in the middle, Jack was closest to the door, and I was closest to the wall with the window. I woke up in the middle of the night and opened my eyes. Standing in my doorway was a woman, not a shadow, and it wasn't sleep paralysis, it was a woman. She looked Hispanic or possibly Native American. She was well say what you see. She was wearing clothes that looked almost like pilgrim clothing. The thing I remember most is that she was making direct eye contact. Mark: Floppy. That's a bit racist. Andy: With me. She slowly walked from my bedroom doorway all the way across my room towards the window, just staring at me. I remember being completely frozen. After watching her walk across my room, I squeezed my eyes shut, opened them again, and she was gone. So fast forward to the day that the spiritual woman came over. She's walking through the apartment. Going through the entire place, saging everywhere, talking about energy and doing her thing. Eventually, we all end up sitting on the kitchen floor, just me, my mum and this woman. Mark: Why? Why didn't they sit at the kitchen table? Or the sofa? Andy: Maybe they didn't have one or maybe this is part of the ceremony. We're sitting there talking when suddenly the room starts smelling absolutely horrific. Like literally just out of nowhere. Mark: No, had someone let one go. ⁓ it was probably curry the night before. Andy: Then this woman suddenly jumps up. She's literally clutching her butt and sitting on my kitchen floor is a puddle of liquid shit. Mark: I knew it I knew it. This poor woman had had a dodgy a dodgy corner. I bet she Andy: I wish I wish I was making this up. This grown ass woman had just shit directly onto my kitchen floor. She immediately takes off running to my bathroom while my poor mum is cleaning up human diarrhoea from the kitchen floor. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there. I told you you'd like this one. Meanwhile. Mark: And this is a good story. Andy: I'm sitting there as a ten-year-old trying to understand how our night just somehow turned into this. A few minutes later, the woman comes out of the bathroom looking completely panicked, and she says, I saw it. I saw it. According to her, while she was in the bathroom, she saw the entity that had been attached to me. I honestly don't remember everything she said after that. Mark: Bad. Does anybody use it? Andy: Because I was still stuck on the fact that she'd literally shit on our kitchen floor. But I do remember one thing clearly. She told my mum that there was also a large cat protecting me, a Black Panther. And my mum immediately knew she'd said somewhere along the lines of, That makes sense. I've always prayed for a Black Panther to watch over and protect her. Mark: It just Andy: There was absolutely no way that this woman had any way of knowing that. And to this day, I don't know what happened in that apartment. I don't know who I saw in my bedroom, and I don't know what the woman saw in the bathroom. And I don't know why my mum and I both saw strange white floating blobs in my room. What I do know is that I'm now 23 years old and I have a black panther tattooed on my arm that I got when I was seventeen, and I've never once regretted it. Maybe it sounds ridiculous, maybe it is ridiculous. But whenever life gets hard, or even if I need a good laugh, I still think about this moment. Because what the hell was that? Seriously. And now I have this Black Panther tattoo and it looks amazing. And I have random people always ask why I got the tattoo because it's not like it's hidden. Can you off? Because it's not like it's hidden. ⁓ and I have to tell them, ⁓ well it's a long story, but basically it's my spiritual guardian because nobody is gonna believe the entire story behind. Isn't that isn't that a brilliant story? Mark: So there was no no knitting the elements of the story together. The white blobs, they were just drifting around white blobs. This woman from the pilgrimage period, ⁓ she was just wandering around, and then this poor woman shot herself while sitting on the kitchen floor. I mean Andy: Great story. The makings of a Netflix series. Mark: ⁓ it is just an hour and twenty two minutes we've been going and that's the best that's the climax of the show, is it? Some woman shitting. Andy: Well now we're we're gonna we're gonna end on a lighter note story. Mark: Lighter, thank God for that. Andy: And this is from Unknown User nine eight ⁓ seven. Mark: Can you do that? Andy: Yes, you can call yourself whatever you want. Mark: Unknown user. Andy: So, a few months ago, people in my apartment building started talking about a ghost. It started with small things. Someone would hear footsteps in the hallway at 3 a.m. Another person claimed they saw a shadow standing near the stairwell before it disappeared. One neighbour swore they heard someone whisper hello when nobody was there. And the rumors spread fast. Funny part is, I knew exactly what was happening. I work night shifts, and I usually get home around three AM. So to avoid waking up the other apartments, I'd quietly take the stairs instead of the elevator. I also have a habit of talking to myself when I'm tired. On one night, while carrying groceries, I dropped a bag. An elderly neighbour opened her door just as I bent down to pick everything up. The hallway light flickered out at that exact moment. Mark: How yes. Andy: She screamed. I panicked and sprinted up the stairs. The next morning, the building's WhatsApp group exploded. Apparently, she had seen a dark figure crouching in the hallway that vanished when the lights flickered. The ghost stories got crazier every week. Someone posted blurry CCTV screenshots. Another person claimed the ghost only appeared after midnight. And a third person said it was probably the spirit of a former tenant. I stayed quiet because honestly, it was hilarious. The management announced they were installing extra security cameras because residents felt unsafe. And so at that point I felt a bit guilty and I admitted everything. But here's the thing nobody believed me. Even after I explained the late night shifts, the stairs, the dropped groceries, the flickering lights, several neighbors insisted I was covering up the existence of the ghost. One guy actually said, that's exactly what a ghost would want us to think. To this day, people still talk about the building ghost. And apparently, I'm not the ghost. I'm just the guy who lives on the third floor. Mark: That was enthralling. I was literally on the edge of my seat to find the conclusion of that story. Andy: ⁓ See, I thought I'd end up with I'd I'd end one which won't keep you awake at Mark: Yes. I was very worried. I was I was I tell you what, if you got white white blobs on the ceiling and brown stains on the floor, I mean, that's a recipe for a bad dream, isn't it? Andy: Unlike the s shit on the kitchen floor. Well, that brings us to the end of our Mark: Thank God. Thank are we what what are we calling it a day? Two hundred and fifty episodes, 'cause clearly we got nothing to talk about. Andy: That bring that brings us to the end of this landmark two hundred and fiftieth episode of Strange Stuff Podcast. Do you know how hard it is to find subject matter? You have any idea. Mark: What do you mean what's that expression? You've only got one job. You only had one job. You only had one job. Andy: It's it's one more job than you have. Walk a mile in my shoes. Mark: So are you serious? We're moving on to episode two hundred and fifty one next week. Andy: Unless you want to call that it. Mark: something's happened. ⁓ my god, something just happened. Are we still Yes, a s a a a page opened up covering your face. It was a sign. Andy: ⁓ no. Supernatural. No, it's actually your incompetence with the computer. Mark: No, but nothing else is open. Andy: Well anyway, that does bring us to the end of this two hundred and fiftieth landmark episode of Strange Stuff Podcast. Mark: And what a market left. Andy: I hope you enjoyed more than Mark those stories. I found them very entertaining, very, very creepy and somewhat uncanny. Especially the shit on the kitchen floor. I sympathise, emphasize, and I think I've done it myself once. Mark: I mean, how can they write a story? And suddenly this ghost hunter had a shit on the floor. I mean I'll tell you what, if th if if if that was all it took for her to sp soil her panties, God knows why she was choosing that as a job. For God's sake. Andy: Well, I would say that that would make a very good impression for people to talk about you word of mouth and get you extra bookings just in case. Yeah. And then she shifted herself on the kitchen floor. ⁓ my god, I have to have this woman. I don't care how much she charges. Mark: What she had a poopy on our kitchen floor? ⁓ my god. Andy: Anyway, join us again, same time, same place next week. Or you could join our Patreon and join us again on Wednesday, where we have extra episodes for the price of a coffee or a beer. Mark: I've had a good idea, Andy. I think what we should do is introduce a Patreon account where they have less to listen to. You don't have to listen to Thursday episode if you listen to Saturday episode. Andy: Well That's not very encouraging, is it? That's not very encouraging. I put my heart and soul into this. Mark: I know, I know. You dust meeting. Andy: Well I'll see you next week. Not so much him. ⁓ in the meantime, hope yourself a strange week. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, and don't shit on the kitchen floor unless you are being paid for it and you've already done your saging. Bye for now. Mark: Exactly. Cheerio.