Latest / No Latency / S2E51 - No Body in the Porta Potty

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S2E51 - No Body in the Porta Potty · No Latency

0:02
Last time on no latency. One of two things.
0:06
One, they decided they didn't need to put any in who would be
0:08
dumb enough to really break into a place like this.
0:10
Or two, they're trying to hide something down here that they
0:13
don't want people to see. Both.
0:16
So there are multiple people in there.
0:17
It looks like it. That's a big ass fence, yeah.
0:20
We just have to hope that Retro makes it through.
0:22
Iona can't not be good at tying Safari.
0:25
Am I Tim or Eric? I forgot.
0:27
Well, I'm. I'm Tim.
0:28
You must be Eric. Let's go.
0:30
Just doing our rounds. You first.
0:33
If I'm right behind you there, Erica, it's all clear in here.
0:36
All right, It's working. Get in, get in.
0:38
Wait, let me get the others. I'm going in now.
0:40
I'll I'll distract him. I'll distract him.
0:42
The door lock, guys, I can't open the door, all right?
0:44
We might as well press the buttons on this elevator.
0:46
What are y'all waiting for everybody in going down?
1:00
Man, all the Jizzner snaps are gone.
1:02
Remy's just shaking the box, crumbs just tinkling off his
1:05
face. Maybe we'll find another vendit
1:09
of Jizzner Snaps so we can get more.
1:12
I'm sure they have plenty down here.
1:16
I hope. Well, probably cranky till I get
1:21
one. Yeah.
1:22
Why is this elevator not working?
1:24
Just kind of like stopped. Could you like, do the thing
1:27
where you hit it and it? If you haven't been stuck in an
1:30
elevator before, this is my biggest fear.
1:33
Yeah, I got stuck in an elevator last week.
1:35
Oh. Yeah, I was trapped in there for
1:37
about four hours. Oh.
1:39
Oh shit, what? Did you have to pee?
1:41
Like what happens if like this? I never go on an elevator if you
1:45
have to use the bathroom, because like what if you get
1:47
stuck? Then you're stuck.
1:48
Then one of the corners becomes your bathroom.
1:51
Pretty much it becomes a point where you have to decide on
1:54
whether or not you want to sit anymore or wait.
1:56
Do you hear that music? Elevator music.
2:04
They're going really far down. Wow, yeah.
2:07
I love that a lot of elevator music.
2:12
Oh yeah, this is. That's right.
2:14
This is the elevator music that doesn't actually work as
2:16
elevator music because it distracts everyone too much.
2:20
Funny. Funny.
2:21
Funny. Retro Can you, like, shut this
2:25
up? No.
2:33
Is that a no? You know what?
2:37
No, no, not what. Can you Remy please just turn
2:42
these? Let's play some elevator.
2:45
Guys this is amazing. I'm.
2:47
Really enjoying this kind of vibe.
2:50
Remy's going to ball up his first and he's just going to hit
2:54
the side of the panel. I got glow sticks.
2:59
Oops. I dropped my special Biotechnica
3:03
pin. My bad.
3:04
Hey. You fonzied it.
3:09
That's cool. Yeah, I picked up that.
3:11
I mean, don't get much clumsy, Farmsley.
3:14
The elevator shakes worryingly. What?
3:17
Is this Is this it? Is this the moment where I
3:20
feared my entire life? It's going to happen.
3:22
Everyone hold. On getting stuck in an elevator,
3:25
No, it's probably not going to to, is it?
3:28
Going to plummet or are. We going to VV.
3:32
Calm. Down more than likely it's not
3:33
going to plummet. It's more than likely just going
3:35
to be a gas release and that feed you pressurize and
3:39
everything punches in on itself and you know and it happens
3:41
almost instantly so you don't even feel anything we.
3:44
Want to? You won't feel a thing.
3:45
You won't feel a thing, Yeah. It'll just be this, and then
3:49
suddenly darkness for the rest of the eternity.
3:52
Well, depending on your spirituality.
3:55
That's right, because if you believe in the afterlife, then
3:58
you will go to the afterlife, but if you don't believe in it,
4:01
then you won't. I've been to the bar.
4:02
The bar's pretty cool, so. You guys aren't helping at all.
4:06
But I haven't seen the afterlife outside of the afterlife.
4:09
And who knows, we could still be in a simulation.
4:11
That's I mean, we won't know until one of us dies, and then
4:16
the rest of us still won't know. But they might.
4:19
There's hospital yourself, Jeb. Phoebe, none of this is helping.
4:24
I think about this all the time. I didn't get the text any of my
4:27
friends goodbye. The elevator shakes again.
4:31
This is it. This is it.
4:34
This is. This is.
4:35
I'm going to die. The elevator comes down to its
4:40
lowest floor and the door Pistons open to an empty
4:44
corridor. Oh, see.
4:48
Is this the Halloween episode? What?
4:54
This is like the Tower of Terror.
5:00
Before I step out of this elevator, is there anything
5:04
worrying here? Like lasers or anything like
5:09
that? Anyone sense anything?
5:12
You know what, I thought I had a a bit of a vision.
5:15
I feel like that there would be some Blazers in here, but now I
5:19
don't see nothing. So I think we're probably all
5:22
right. Oh, oh, oh, can you take that
5:24
Gisner dust? And you know, ah, it ah.
5:29
Someone else is going to have to.
5:30
I don't have much breath control.
5:32
Wow. You know what?
5:33
You're right. Can I have your Jizzner box?
5:35
Yeah, here you go. I shake it into my palm.
5:39
Roll Perception. I'm going to give you plus one
5:41
because of the Jizzner dust. Take that. 22 + 8.
5:47
Wow, it's true. Jizzner stabs do stick to
5:49
everything there's. A + 8 God damn it.
5:55
All of the episode and already rolling crits.
5:58
That bodes either very well or incredibly ominously.
6:03
The dust flies into the air, swells and lands on the ground,
6:09
and as it lands on the ground, it shifts and starts to stick to
6:13
certain parts and the smell of bleach fills the air and you
6:19
notice there's sort of a blood splatter pattern on the ground
6:22
now. Mucked out with Gisner snap dust
6:25
that leads towards the door at the very end of the corridor to
6:28
the West side. Well, if I wasn't worried about
6:33
making Gisner gas, now I am. Is is that bad?
6:38
Is Gisner gas bad? Well, it like ammonia and
6:44
bleach, but Gisner and whatever this residue is.
6:48
It's fine this. This residue is it sounds like
6:51
it's a base, and we all know that juicing staps are acidic as
6:54
hell in the stomach, so they're just going to cancel each other
6:57
out. I mean, that sounds like sound
6:59
science. Perfectly neutral, I guess.
7:01
We're going to have to find out. Do you do you think that this
7:05
is, as the foreboding voice said, Does this look like blood
7:10
splatter? What colour is this splatter?
7:16
Sort of a white outline now because of the dust.
7:21
Oh, I can't smell. Does it smell coppery in here to
7:25
anybody? Sniff.
7:28
Sniff. Sniff.
7:29
If only we had a medical expert here.
7:32
Roll. Sniff.
7:37
Don't sound so excited about it. Pee Pee.
7:40
You were right, Phoebe. Maybe for what's 1 of you can
7:42
check for blood. OK, maybe I'm tired of looking
7:45
at every little cut and bruise and splatter and oh, maybe this
7:50
is something medical that maybe the Med tech can look at.
7:54
Well, you know what? I'm I'm.
7:57
I'm just getting a little tired of it.
7:59
If, you know, don't take it personally.
8:01
It's just, you know, we all have our our things that we do real
8:04
well. You know, whenever there's an
8:06
electronic device, that's. That's on retro.
8:09
Whenever there's talking to the Corpos and the suits, well, you
8:12
know that's on Iona, and whenever there's blood, it's on
8:16
you. But also, let's be honest, when
8:20
sometimes when there's blood, it's definitely on you, Jeb,
8:22
because you eat it. Well, that's, you know, I have.
8:26
I do. It is candid that my sense of
8:29
smell is keen as hell. So, so maybe maybe you can like
8:34
give Vivi a rest. Vivi, do you need anything?
8:36
Because I'll. Look, and I'm not rolling any
8:40
medical skills because I'm just rolling a plain old perception
8:44
because, you know, it's easy to discern blood and you don't need
8:49
medical skills to tell that. OK.
8:53
Vivi, you roll a Perception 17 and as you look down to the
8:58
floor, you. You scrub your finger through
9:00
the jizz and a snap dust on the floor.
9:02
You rub it between your fingers. Give it a little sniff, and it
9:06
is indeed blood. Oh yeah, this is Blood.
9:10
Let. Me give a sniff blood.
9:12
This is why we pay you to do these things.
9:15
Yeah. Wait, you guys are getting paid?
9:17
I'm kidding. I get paid really well.
9:19
Wait, you get You're getting paid.
9:22
We all get paid. You get paid.
9:23
Jeb. Yeah, I.
9:25
Don't think I can avoid afford these.
9:27
This Sandru. Hello, cutie.
9:30
Just a freaking trauma teen intern.
9:33
Check. Fire.
9:34
You know, maybe we should find a cantino, get some, get some tea,
9:37
just a little bit of chamomile, bring up the.
9:41
Tea as the Bubble Tea Cafe was nearly.
9:45
No, she's still sore about diet. Destroyed.
9:48
Okay. Hey, Jeb, come over here for a
9:50
second. Yeah, yeah.
9:52
What's it, bud? Let's go on a second.
9:54
Just let's, let's talk for a second.
9:57
Yeah. Hey, do you think something's
9:59
funny going on right now? I think there's something funny
10:01
going on pretty much at all times.
10:03
There's nothing that we don't do that there ain't some funny
10:06
business going on. Yeah, I know, but like things
10:09
feel off, right? Like oh definitely like me.
10:12
I feel is is is starting to show some signs of shock and.
10:20
You know Iona has Juice and Stab dust on their hand and they
10:24
haven't even cleaned it yet and so I'm starting to get worried.
10:28
I think I know what it is. I've read about this.
10:31
What is it? Well, when you descend too
10:33
quickly you get the bands. I think is what it's called and
10:37
we might have the, the, the bands.
10:41
The bands. The bands, yeah.
10:43
The bands DA, it's like. It's like the bands, but it's
10:48
the bands. Depends.
10:50
I've I've only read about it, but it happens when you go deep
10:53
underwater, I think. What are the symptoms?
10:56
Hi guys. What are you guys talking about?
10:58
Guys, guys. Stuff.
11:00
Yeah, mostly OK You want in? Yeah, I mean, sure.
11:04
All right. Have you ever heard of the
11:07
bands? Oh, the, the the what does it
11:10
get the gas in your blood that that kills you?
11:13
Yeah. Well, no, we don't have that.
11:15
So we may have. We we may have.
11:17
What the bands might say. You getting all confused I think
11:21
that I think it's one of the things.
11:22
Pressurization. Depression.
11:24
Is that a thing? I don't know.
11:26
I would ask a medical professional, but.
11:28
Well, they're on break. I don't.
11:30
I don't think now is the time. Yeah, so should we?
11:34
Should we all just reconvene and like, maybe check out what this
11:37
blood's about? I mean, I suppose The thing is,
11:41
I feel like if if we're, if we ain't making progress.
11:45
Then what the hell we doing? You know?
11:46
You know what I mean. So maybe I I say retro.
11:50
You want to peek through that door down to the end of the
11:53
hallway, and I'll peek down the door on the left.
11:56
Yeah, let's, let's, let's go for it.
11:57
All right, 321 and Peek, oh, mine's locked.
12:05
Mine's not. All right, Well, what do you
12:08
see? I see a bunch of.
12:12
A lot of porta potties. They look like air conditioner
12:15
units. They do look like air
12:16
conditioner units. Oh, sorry.
12:18
I didn't mean to sneak up behind you.
12:20
Oh. God.
12:21
Wait, hold on. There are Porta potties like
12:23
free standing porta potties within this room.
12:26
Yeah, there's like 10 of them. It's not like a bathroom where
12:29
there are stalls. It's literally Porta potties.
12:32
Yes. Oh oh there is a vendet though.
12:35
I'm going to I'm coming I'm coming over here.
12:38
What's in what's in this N most vendet machine?
12:42
I mean, I would tell you if there were Gisner snaps in here.
12:45
Role perception. I can see with my eyeballs that
12:51
there are. 15. It is mostly filled with hand
12:58
sanitizer wipes and there is one box of Gisner snaps left.
13:05
Remy. Remy.
13:07
Yeah, yeah. Could you, could you do the the
13:10
what did you call it, Fonzie? Yeah, it's the Fonzie.
13:14
Yeah. Could you Fonzie some of this
13:17
out of here? OK.
13:18
Yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll give it a try.
13:20
Let me see about doing the Fonzie I I feel like being a
13:23
little cheap today. See here that's going to be hold
13:29
on. Sorry, I I know you're just
13:33
looking for the right spot. It's OK.
13:34
I. Just you got to feel it out, you
13:36
got to feel out the right spot and there. 19 Yeah, you smack
13:41
the right spot and the bend it fully dense fairly heavily and a
13:45
packet of Jizziness apps pull out and a bit of hand sanitizer
13:52
wipes Jizzness apps for you and these wipes for me.
13:55
Thank you. Thank you.
13:57
I would like I would like to check this other vendet.
14:01
Oh, it's in this one. Exactly the same stuff.
14:04
Huh. I wonder.
14:07
I wonder if these Porta potties just don't have, like, places to
14:11
wash your hands and you have to buy it.
14:13
That's very cyberpunk, you know? Sorry, but apparently it's very
14:19
nice city. But apparently indoor plumbing
14:23
is not. Yeah, you know, they say the,
14:27
the, you know the. The wipes are better for
14:31
cleaning, so better than. Your butt though, so this does
14:34
kind of imply that you need to buy them before going in.
14:38
I mean, we could, we could just look in the in the PORTA potties
14:41
to see if there's anything. I would rather not do that.
14:45
You can look, All right, that's hey, that's that's your
14:47
expertise. You know that's true.
14:50
Bodily fluids, you know, blood and other bodily fluids
14:54
apparently are on the now. And you know what?
14:57
I understand where I where I am on this hierarchy and that
15:03
opened. Up the.
15:04
Door. You're on the literal shit list.
15:10
23. Plus, and that's what they call
15:12
me. Jebediah.
15:14
Shit, man. I didn't know they called you
15:17
that. I I've never heard anybody call
15:19
you that. Understandable.
15:21
And as you look inside the porta potty, there is a roll of toilet
15:24
paper inside. So it's not for wiping you.
15:26
Well, it is, however. Could be law.
15:28
Almost. Basically unused.
15:31
It might have been used once, but it's incredibly clean.
15:33
Which is? Impressive, but as you're
15:35
opening this, you hear a noise at the very back of the room to
15:39
the northwest corner. Someones taking a shit, Let's
15:43
give them their privacy. Or do what you did to the guys
15:48
at the. Warehouse and shoot them with
15:52
their pants down and. Not go over the port, I'm sorry,
15:57
I mean. Listen, if it's a shit monster,
15:59
I don't want anything to do with this.
16:00
Let's get out of here. You know it's a shit monster.
16:06
The. Spirit of the Golgotha is is
16:08
bowling inside to be a little shit right now.
16:12
I mean, I don't know if I would go check it, but I would like
16:17
wait to see if somebody comes out if you go check it.
16:21
OK. Thank.
16:25
You. And this This is why it's nice
16:27
to have an underling. I really got to give me an
16:30
underling because I'll tell you, Sloan is not, you know, she she
16:34
does not necessarily do whatever I tell her.
16:37
She's very, very individual, OK? Stubborn, OK?
16:42
Creepy squelching voices. They're louder over here,
16:44
everyone. It's not a shit monster.
16:46
I'm just going to tell you that now.
16:48
Not a shit monster. OK, I'm going to be behind the
16:50
door. You let me know how it goes.
16:53
Here we go. Close the door.
16:55
What would you say? What if it is a shit monster?
16:58
Well then, you. Just don't open the door.
17:03
Open the door. What?
17:06
Do you need to do you have to watch this?
17:10
Fine. What if it's a guy and he has to
17:11
get shot? You're the best shot, so.
17:13
All right, all right, all right. I take out Grand Pappy's Colt 45
17:17
all right and embrace it against the side of the door frame.
17:20
OK, you ready? Open that son of a Bitch breach
17:24
and clear. But do you have to do both of
17:26
them though in this case? Looking for an RPG podcast that
17:37
isn't just D&D roll to? Cast is the answer.
17:40
No, no, wait, sorry. What games have we played so
17:43
far? Well, we've done Cyberpunk 2020
17:47
oh. Catholo.
17:48
Vampire The Masquerade. The Witcher Kids on bikes.
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Avatar legends and cyberpunk. Reds roll to cast ROLE.
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ROLE. Come discover a new world.
18:20
OK, OK. Yes, I get it.
18:22
I get. It and Vendale grabs the door.
18:25
And swings it open and little drone covered in blood bursts
18:31
out of the Porter pocket and jumps on Vendel roll.
18:40
Evasion. Fucking.
18:46
And then they'll throws the drone in further into the room
18:49
and it lands on the ground. It's having difficulty moving
18:52
around and it's smearing blood all over.
18:59
Me, I got. It OK 2615?
19:01
Yes. You blow a serious hole in the
19:04
side of it. It was already heavily damaged
19:06
and it died. Can a Can an electronic device
19:11
truly die if the battery runs out?
19:14
I mean, that one's dead. Good point.
19:16
What the fuck have they been eating down here?
19:18
I immediately dropped my jizzer snaps.
19:21
Boy, you think that thing came out of of somebody's butt?
19:25
I mean, we we probably should look at it closer.
19:27
We can't really see from here. All right, baby.
19:30
That's your department. Wendell, can you check the porta
19:33
potty if there's a body in there?
19:34
Yeah, no, it's just a lot of blood and scrapings.
19:38
Well. It's the scrapings that makes me
19:41
feel nauseous. Well, it's just it looks like
19:43
the the drone had. Something sharp.
19:46
It's legs maybe? Maybe.
19:48
All right. Stand back, everyone.
19:51
You smell blood. That's blood and just blood,
19:54
which is honestly. In this particular case, nice.
19:59
I'm going to check the porta potty that it was in and see
20:05
where it came from. Role investigation.
20:07
Yeah, let's. Retro.
20:10
Don't worry, I think that with my sniffing I can illuminate the
20:15
fact that I do not think this came from somebody's butt.
20:19
Chip, quick question. With your ability to sniff bud,
20:22
can you actually discern type just from your sniffing you
20:25
know? I've haven't really trained my
20:28
my schnoz in in in that quite yet, but I'm sure it's something
20:32
I can probably work on. Oh, that.
20:33
'D be cool. Well, I mean, me personally, I
20:36
got AAB positive blood, which is the second rarest blood tap.
20:42
So let me just hold on real quick.
20:44
I'm trying to think something might have my blood on it.
20:49
I could stop you real quick. Oh, how about you just give me
20:52
the knife and I'll do one of them little fingerprints?
20:54
No, it's OK. I take a pen out of my bag and
20:57
Oh no, no no. I really I I I can see this.
20:59
Hey. Jeb, What's that?
21:01
Where? Hijab Jeb.
21:05
Wow here. You go.
21:07
Yep, that's blood that's hold on, let me just sniff the the
21:11
robot again. It's it is, you know it is a
21:17
little different. I will say it's kind of a almost
21:20
a floral overtone. What you detect from your
21:25
sniffing is that the person who this blood belonged to was
21:30
female, and they were human. You guys will never believe
21:33
this, but it's human blood. Oh.
21:38
I believe that. B Negative.
21:39
B Negative, that's. B negative.
21:42
And I think you know I, I I'm, I'm starting to get AI think
21:48
it's 2X chromosomes. Wow.
21:50
I I I got to I got to be honest I am blown away by by my snarls.
21:55
Just I I was always wondered why it was so big, but now I know.
22:01
Now, Phoebe, almost everyone in the room feels you roll your
22:05
eyes as you look around the room and inside the Porta.
22:09
Potti, you look back at Jeb and sort of sigh at this sort of
22:15
parlour trick he's able to do. And as you're looking over, you
22:19
see in the drone with your Crit Plus 4 perception that there is
22:24
a chip stuck in its lower orifice.
22:29
It's lower orifice stuck in, yeah.
22:31
There's like a a whole coagulated piece of blood and
22:34
flesh stuck to the bottom of this drone, and in the middle of
22:37
it is a. Chip check its other orifices,
22:41
it's. The drone's butthole.
22:45
OK. This is, yeah.
22:47
Is there any. OK.
22:48
I'm going to just pull the chip out, OK.
22:50
Put some gloves on 1st. Yes, I'm going to grab one of
22:53
those hand sanitizer wipes from the vendit and use that.
22:58
To pull the. Thing out.
23:00
Right. I don't touch the blood roll
23:03
something so that you don't get any blood on you.
23:06
I am concentrating real hard on this.
23:09
Holy shit. You pull out this chip and
23:13
attach to the other side. As you continue to pull, it is a
23:16
50 Eddy bill covered in blood. Eddies and I pocket them.
23:22
Even though they might be slightly bloody and Eddie's a
23:27
white pink, you can wipe them. They're like.
23:28
A OK, this is interesting. A little chip in this drone,
23:34
Maybe we can see what's on it. Retro.
23:38
See, now this is where you come in handy.
23:40
See, everyone's got their kind of niches, their their
23:44
specialties, and that's what makes us XLS a team.
23:47
I sniff things. You hack things.
23:50
You fix things but people and you fix things but social
23:54
problems. You know what?
23:58
I got to say about. Mine.
23:59
I'll just stand here you're listen we.
24:01
All know that you do the slicing.
24:05
Yeah. Because we we lost our last
24:07
slicer guys, so now you're the slasher.
24:10
Hey. No, I don't want to think about
24:12
that, Chip. That's mean it's way too soon.
24:15
I'm just like a year. Just trying to, trying to.
24:18
Laid out how I sleep. I'm sad now.
24:23
Don't be snagged all. Right.
24:24
You make you make a point, you make it, well, retro.
24:29
Would you mind looking at this chip?
24:32
OK. I just, I'll take that cap.
24:38
Yep, here's the wipe if you don't want to touch it.
24:41
Oh, I should. I should have taken that first.
24:43
Fuck. Oh, OK you.
24:51
It is a wipeable chip. You could use a sanitizer wipe
24:55
to wipe it in your hands. Yeah, I'm, I'll, I'll go ahead.
24:59
I'll do that. I'll, I'll, I'll give it a a
25:01
thorough cleaning hesitantly trying to think of any way not
25:07
to have to plug this into my head.
25:10
All right. Roll for that.
25:11
OK. Electronic security tail.
25:13
Yes. You recognize, you probably
25:15
could just plug it into a tile. OK, Joe, give me your tile.
25:21
All right, there you are. All right.
25:24
Just get in there all right. The chip opens automatically and
25:30
on screen is 1 file. This is a very low density piece
25:35
of memory used for hiding usually one or two files.
25:39
It's an audio file. I'll hit the speaker button.
25:44
And then I'll hit play I. Made it down to the thermal lab.
25:49
Oh, my God. Oh my God.
25:52
I I knew there was something funny about that.
25:55
A thermal vent near an old oil rig.
25:58
How How did anyone believe this story?
26:02
I've got to get out of here. I made it up to the next floor,
26:05
and I'm just wait, what's that? No, no, no.
26:08
I I I'm just lost. If you could, would you?
26:15
Shit, I believe that person has been shot and killed.
26:22
Probably in this room. Not the not this room, but this
26:26
previous corridor. And then they just dumped the
26:29
body in the porta potty. Well, there was nobody in the
26:33
Porta potty. That's true.
26:35
There was nobody in the Porta potty.
26:37
Oh, I think that's a cleaning robot.
26:41
Oh. So it was cleaning it.
26:45
And. I blasted it.
26:47
No, Jeb. Oh.
26:48
That lump of flesh on the bottom is whoever that voice was.
26:53
Oh God, is it the literal voice box that's disturbing?
26:56
No, that's just an audio file on a chip Retro.
26:59
You're smarter than that. No, I meant the the, the, the,
27:02
the lump of flesh you're talking about.
27:05
I think it's just all that's left.
27:07
Should should we check the other stalls?
27:10
Well. Yeah.
27:12
I suppose this feels like a man. First, ask questions later.
27:18
Well, they already were shot, so I don't think there's a too big
27:22
of a threat, don't you think? Unless there's another one of
27:25
them robots. But as we know them, robots are
27:29
are just, you know, glorified maids, I suppose.
27:33
Right. But Jeff, if you heard the audio
27:34
recording, that means that something.
27:37
Or somebody other than this robot who does not have a gun
27:41
shot the person that was on the recording, so they have a gun.
27:45
Now they it's good thinking. Yeah.
27:48
All right. So we.
27:51
Just start blasting every door, you.
27:54
Know what? I'm going to start by opening
27:56
them. OK.
27:57
I like Iona's idea. I think we should probably try
28:01
and draw as little attention as possible.
28:07
Sure. Open.
28:09
Open. Open.
28:09
Open. Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding.
28:13
That's that's the next four to the north.
28:17
Do you do you try and open the door, Iona?
28:20
I do. I did squirt latex onto my
28:22
hands. OK, well, attempt to open the
28:25
door. Oh.
28:27
All right. Are we behind you in case
28:29
something? If you're seeing the gun.
28:32
Duck real fast, hit the ground, hit the dirt, and I'll shoot
28:36
right over you. I was talking about the Porta
28:38
potties. Oh, I know this door is locked.
28:43
I've tried to open it already. That's right.
28:46
Barely. I'm going to attempt to open the
28:50
door. Since that's what the GM wants
28:52
me to do. Well, I thought you meant that
28:54
door. Sorry, Apologies.
28:56
That's all right. I have to bypass a lot of
29:00
bureaucratic locks in in Biotechnica, so.
29:07
Bureaucracy. Bureaucratic locks.
29:10
You play with the lock and your latex glove rips as you try to
29:15
do so, and you scrape a line through your palm HP.
29:22
One HP scrape VV oh. Answer It seems like we're we're
29:31
even now because you stabbed me for one HP so.
29:37
I hand Iona a Band-Aid and some disinfectant.
29:43
Thank you. See.
29:47
Baby's nice again. Yay.
29:48
Yeah. She's bad.
29:54
OK, yeah, this seems like a very much of A rapid fire bridge.
30:01
And Claire? Yep.
30:04
I'm right behind you, just like I said to Iona.
30:06
Open the door and if you see someone in there with a gun,
30:09
just hit the deck and I'll blast right right over your head.
30:14
I'm going to rapidly open the rest of these 4 doors at the N 1
30:19
by 1 jab. I'm ready.
30:23
All right, I'd do it. Turbo breaching clear, you both
30:28
violently open up all of these porta Bossies to find absolutely
30:32
nothing. All right.
30:37
Well. Now the now the ones on the
30:43
other wall. Yep.
30:45
All right, here we go. You ready?
30:49
321 turbo breaching clear Well, that was.
30:58
Not even 1 graffiti. Mark, this is Gary.
31:03
Oh wait, hold on. Actually if you right back here
31:07
there someone did rat turd in a sharpie.
31:11
So there is that. I feel a little bit better, but
31:15
I still feel uncomfortable by it.
31:18
Father greeting What happened to bathroom art?
31:22
I know it's really been downhill.
31:25
Anyways, what do we find over here with the locked door?
31:30
Well, it's locked. Well, I guess we got to go back
31:33
up the elevator. Come on, everyone.
31:36
OK, did you jiggle the handle? I don't know.
31:40
I cut myself on it. I mean, I jiggled it pretty
31:43
good, so we're either going to have to pick the lock, which I'm
31:49
only I'm below decent at, or we blasted down now are these one
31:55
of those like a? Like a pressure door?
31:58
No. No, it's just a regular door.
32:01
If this looks like a fairly flimsy door.
32:03
No, it's a sliding door. We can Mule kick it.
32:07
Oh. It's a sliding door.
32:09
We didn't have to jiggle. We just push or.
32:11
Pull. I'm gonna give it a push.
32:13
The door was not locked, it was merely stuck and it slides open.
32:19
I did it. I broke the lock.
32:20
I'm a brisk. Door closed.
32:24
What's inside here? As you step into the room, you
32:27
hear an error noise from a computer further South of you.
32:36
Is this a window to the ocean? No, it is a large screen.
32:42
What is displayed on this screen?
32:44
No candidates expected. You know, maybe maybe it's this
32:48
is like a movie theatre, you know, And then everyone stands
32:51
over here and then walks. There says stand here, yes.
32:56
I'll take a seat in the chair in front of the computer.
32:58
Oh, is that like where the concessions are?
33:01
I don't see anything, any concessions.
33:03
No, Jeb, you find nothing. Although this room is incredibly
33:06
clean, it is very, very clear. No, I don't think it's a
33:11
theater, you guys. What's here?
33:13
On this computer? You see the same error code, no
33:16
candidates expected. I hit escape.
33:19
I tried the door behind the it's locked.
33:22
This one's locked too. Wait a minute and I check to see
33:25
if it's a sliding door. It's not.
33:27
It's locked. Now this one seems locked for
33:30
good for real this tab. I'll have to escape, see if it
33:34
closes out, and open something else.
33:36
Roll basic tech OK, basic tech 33.
33:40
Yes. You press escape and punch a few
33:44
keys on the keyboard, and you manage to dip into a lower
33:47
directory Where it asks if there are candidates present.
33:52
I inquiry to the computer what defines a candidate.
33:56
It gives no answer, yes or no. Oh, it's like 20 questions.
34:00
I was asking if there's candidates here.
34:03
So what about Were there candidates yesterday?
34:08
I'll type that in. No data.
34:10
Shit. OK, oh, do we?
34:13
Do we know anyone's name that is supposed to be here?
34:16
No. Remy will type in their name.
34:20
As soon as I believe in the paper trail bliss.
34:22
All right. Well.
34:25
It's Remy with AY and I don't know.
34:26
Oh really? Candidates names are registered
34:29
after exam. All right.
34:31
Shall I just say that we're candidates then this?
34:35
Add candidate. Can we add a candidate
34:37
candidates present question mark?
34:39
Fuck it, I'm just going to click Y Yes, you see Processing and
34:43
then it says have candidates stand in area.
34:48
Well, all right, The computer says so.
34:50
All. Right, everybody, let's stand on
34:53
these caution lines. OK.
34:58
I will stay back. Shall I?
35:02
Shall I stand with you? Vendel Yes, someone has to
35:06
operate the computer. Vendel and I will do that.
35:09
OK. All right, it says 3 caballeros
35:12
and on the computer once again it says are candidates present.
35:17
Do I do I press Y Remy? Yeah, Y you hear a noise and a
35:26
video place? Hello candidates, and welcome to
35:29
the Avid Lab. We're so excited to have you
35:34
join our team here in this endeavour here at the Abbott
35:38
Lab, along with our partners and humans Like you, we'll soon be
35:42
revolutionizing how we augment ourselves and build a better
35:45
future for tomorrow. As a reminder, all recording
35:50
devices and implants are prohibited and will be
35:53
confiscated or deactivated before your assignment.
35:56
Until then, please refrain from recording.
35:59
For everyone's company and in a line with the NDA you signed
36:03
before you entered the facility, in a few moments you'll be
36:07
guided to our exam where you'll show us just what you're made
36:11
of. We're excited to see where
36:13
you'll end up in our underwater family.
36:17
Remember, due to the contract you signed, no contact with the
36:21
outside world is permitted to protect you and our corporate
36:25
interests and for everyone's sake.
36:28
In the exam room, please answer your questions truthfully and to
36:32
the best of your ability so we can adequately assign you to
36:36
your ideal role here at the Abbott Lab.
36:42
Please follow all instructions and don't deviate from your
36:45
path. If you need the bathroom at any
36:52
point, now would be an excellent time as there are no bathrooms
36:56
until after your exam. Once again, thank you so much
37:03
for joining us here at the Abbott Lab and for putting in
37:06
your effort to make this world a better place.
37:10
Good luck in your exam and thank you for joining us at the Abbott
37:13
Lab. Will you know let the record
37:26
show. That this pretty much was a
37:29
theater. You know what?
37:33
You all right. Thank you.
37:35
And that's all I wanted to hear. All right, so is the is the door
37:39
over there unlocked now and we can go take our tests?
37:41
I'm not exactly what I had in mind, but what look at that.
37:46
Speak of the devil. All right, let's go.
37:50
And did. Anyone.
37:51
Wait, Does anyone have to use the restroom?
37:53
Anyone study for leaves? No.
37:57
I didn't know there was going to be a test.
37:59
Yeah, I didn't know either. I have extra #2 pencils.
38:03
That's good. That's good.
38:04
Do you think it's going to be a A scan trial?
38:07
Oh no. What?
38:09
What's this on the wall? That's a computer console for
38:13
that door, it seems. And that's the test.
38:18
All right, Retro. You want to.
38:23
You want to. Can do it for us.
38:25
Maybe we can all get ace and the door at the end opens.
38:33
Oh. Before we go, what's in this
38:37
vendet? It's an.
38:40
Important question. Inside the Vendet are a few
38:44
snacks and some computer styluses and some Jizzness
38:54
snaps, of course. I've had my fellow Jizzness
38:57
snaps. Right now I think I'm going to.
39:00
I'm going to buy a stylus. I'll buy one too.
39:05
And one Eddie each. OK, just in case, sure I've got
39:13
yours window. Oh, thanks Phoebe.
39:15
Do you want one? I'll buy yours since I only
39:18
bought mine. Oh, thank you, Vendel.
39:21
That's kind, sure. And Bendel buys one as well and
39:27
hands one to baby. OK.
39:30
Are you just headed now? Guess we're ready for our exam.
39:35
Oh shit. Why?
39:39
What do you see? We're back in school.
39:45
All right. I guess everybody pick your.
39:49
Desks. Well, I am going to sit front
39:52
and center. Not that we have a teacher, but
39:57
I like to sit in the front row, right in the center I'm.
40:00
Going to sit next to Phoebe, yeah.
40:03
We're teachers. Pets.
40:05
Yeah, we are. That's very much my vibe.
40:11
What about the rest of you? Listen, I I'm always in the back
40:14
of the class, so that's where I'm going to be.
40:17
This desk off to the side, do you think that's the teacher's
40:20
desk? Yes, the exam Proctor probably.
40:26
Oh, Phoebe knows all the fancy words.
40:31
I did like school. You can tell I'll.
40:37
Be the Proctor. Oh, OK.
40:43
I'm going to wait to take a seat because I haven't been told to
40:46
take one yet. If everyone could please take
40:49
your seats, Shit. Retro is going to stomp to the
40:55
back right corner. Fine.
40:59
I I I pressed control alt delete on the computer to wake it up.
41:06
The computer wakes up and asks for a code.
41:12
Are you in a role? Perception.
41:13
I will percept. I will do that. 21 You look at
41:20
the keyboard and the screen and you feel like you should type
41:24
4774. Don't really know why. 6969 No
41:30
4774. The fact that you know the code
41:34
to unlock this computer is upsetting.
41:38
Oh shit, guys, I might be the Proctor.
41:46
Yeah, we know you said you were. No, I mean I knew the code to
41:49
this computer. What?
41:54
How? I don't know I so I typed in the
41:58
code and what pops up. A really generic wallpaper and a
42:01
single button in the middle that says start exam.
42:05
Well, we might be able to cheat, since I know what's going on, I
42:10
suppose. Are you?
42:11
Is everyone? Is everyone ready to start their
42:14
exam? Yes to each.
42:18
Yes, yes. I need verbal confirmation from
42:24
everyone. Retros retros trying to finish
42:26
lighting a joint? Hold on.
42:31
Wow, retros. One of those?
42:33
Good. To.
42:34
Go noted. All right, heads down.
42:40
Your test begins now. Next time on no latency.
42:59
No talking during the testing. There is no right answer here.
43:03
Oh no, Ben. Dale, did you fail?
43:05
I mean, I feel confident. I ain't no cheating, sorry.
43:08
Not cheating. What kind?
43:10
Of test is this. Oh, that's a no.
43:12
It's more philosophy really. Who scored?
43:14
Top Proctor. I'm not at liberty to say.
43:17
It means we're on fire. You know what I'm saying?
43:20
Yeah. Yeah, you're really heating it
43:22
up in here. All right, we should probably be
43:24
on the lookout for more of these chips, since it sounds like they
43:27
did offload data. That sounds ominous, but OK.
43:31
Like a lion or something? Joint never fails.
43:34
Oh, high price, but all right. Well, why don't you try to
43:38
fonzay it? I was just holding in my
43:40
excitement. Jeb, do you need some help here?
43:42
How do we be stealthy? Well, damn.
43:44
Act like we belong here, like we have been doing they.
43:48
Seem pretty pissed off. I guess this does mean we're
43:50
splitting the party. Oh, I'm not feeling too good.
44:24
Thank you for joining us on our adventure once again here at No
44:27
Latency. Don't forget to follow us on
44:30
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44:34
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44:37
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44:53
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44:56
listening. We literally couldn't do this
44:58
without you. And of course.
45:01
We'll see you next time in Night City.
45:05
Thanks for listening, Jim.