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Messy Advice... | Ditch the Guilt, Not the Care · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

• 0:00
  This one's for everyone who's ever wondered, can I love my neighbor without
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  making them a casserole? Because let's be honest, church
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  culture sometimes makes it feel like the most sacred spiritual act
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  is signing up for a meal train before your coffee even kicks in.
• 0:15
  Welcome to Messy Advice for People Who Care, a summer series from
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  Journey with Care to anyone who's ever said yes before thinking it through and then
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  wondering what they just signed up for. We're talking about caregiving,
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  boundaries, burnout, and the not so clear moments of loving others
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  well, minus the formulas. This is Johan on
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  the edge of helpful because someone has to answer the hard questions,
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  and apparently it's me.
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  We've all felt the weight of care, whether it's in ministry,
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  family, work, or just trying to be a decent human
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  being. And sometimes that weight turns into something we were
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  never meant to carry. Today's question gets right into the
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  heart of that tension. How do I show up for
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  others without always feeling like I'm responsible for fixing
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  everything? Now that's a big one, and,
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  honestly, a lot of us are asking the same thing.
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  According to Stats Canada, nearly one in four Canadians, that's
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  around 8,000,000 people, provided some form of unpaid
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  caregiving, and more than half of them reported feeling tired,
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  anxious, or overwhelmed by it. So, yeah, statistically
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  speaking, if you're feeling overwhelmed, it might just mean that you're doing
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  life in Canada correctly. But let's zoom in on what it
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  actually feels like. Now my first piece of advice
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  would be delete the phrase, just let me know if you need anything
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  from your vocabulary. It's vague, passive, and
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  emotionally loaded. And if you do let them know, you're
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  probably gonna panic. Picture this. You're in the
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  church lobby after service. Someone shares that they're having a hard
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  week. You nod, smile, and suddenly feel that pressure
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  building. Should I offer help? Should I bring a meal?
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  Should I be doing more? That moment, that's compassion
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  spiked with panic and seasoned with a little savior complex.
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  We've all felt it. It's the quiet assumption that love
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  equals action equals fixing equals exhaustion.
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  But does it? Let's get biblical.
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  Biblical. This brought me back to Mark one.
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  Jesus had been healing the sick, casting out demons, meeting
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  real urgent needs, and the crowds are still
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  pressing in. And the next morning, Jesus
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  disappears. The disciples go on a full manhunt.
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  And when they finally find him withdrawn from the crowd and praying, they
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  say, everyone's looking for you. And Jesus says,
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  well, let's go somewhere else. You see, Jesus doesn't
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  rush to meet every need. He doesn't react to that
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  pressure that was put on him. He chooses what's next,
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  not out of guilt, but out of purpose. That's not
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  indifference, it's clarity. Jesus shows us that love
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  isn't always about doing more. Sometimes it's about doing what's
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  right and letting go of the rest. So maybe the question
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  for you isn't, am I doing enough? Maybe it's,
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  am I doing what's mine to do? This week, try showing
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  up in love, but with honesty, not from guilt and not from
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  pressure. And if that sounds impossible, maybe that's where the
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  spirit meets us, in the pause between urgency and
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  obligation. Love becomes more sustainable when it's guided
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  by purpose, not pressure. And, hey, if that hits
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  close to home, you're not alone. These aren't just questions that we ask
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  on the mic. They're the kind that live in the background of a lot of
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  care filled lives. And if you wanna join the conversation,
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  come join us on the Care Impact podcast group on Facebook.
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  Until next time, keep loving, keep laughing, and set the
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  casserole down unless it's already in the oven, in which case,
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  bless you and remember to stay curious.