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Differently Wired | Anxiety and ADHD in Community With William · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

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What does loving your neighbor actually look like? This
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is Journey with Care, where curious Canadians get inspired to
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love others well through real life stories and honest
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conversations.
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Welcome to another episode of Journey With Care. We are in the midst of our
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series, differently wired for community. So we've had
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several guests on already. And today, we have actually
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another guest that is also gonna be talking about ADHD, which
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which we had Marcia talking about. Hers was a little bit more from a
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teacher female perspective. We wanted to bring on someone else to come
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from a little bit of a different perspective. We're gonna continue to have conversations around
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how we are differently wired, whether it be neurodiversities, exceptionalities,
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or even those dealing with mental health challenges, and how we as the
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church can thrive together in inclusive communities where we all
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can contribute and we all can support 1 another. That's really what
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this series is all about. But before we bring on our guest, I
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wanted to remind you that we have our Journey with Prayer podcast,
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which is on a separate podcast feed. You can find it right now on your
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favorite podcast player. You can check the show notes to get the link there, or
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you can go to our website journey with care dot ca slash
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podcast and take these conversations from the head to the heart.
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We don't just want information. We want transformation. So
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today, we have a special guest host on.
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Wendy is taking a break, this week. Tim,
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who is on our CareImpact team, he's been a host on here before as well,
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but he's coming back on for this interview because he's actually
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met our guests. So, Tim, you wanna kinda introduce our guest a little
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bit and our conversation that we're gonna have today? Sure. Thanks,
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Johan. William, it's so great to have you, on the
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podcast. You and I met at the Crandall
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Camps conference, out here in our neck of the woods in
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Canada, out in Atlantic Canada, New Brunswick specifically. But you
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and I are both, from Nova Scotia. Yep. Yeah. Do you wanna tell us a
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little bit about yourself and why you have joined as a guest on our
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differently wired for community series? Well,
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as Johan said, she was just looking for a couple different
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views on ADHD. Met you at CampCon.
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We sort of got into a whole conversation about my whole life
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and how I've managed to grow up to the age of 16
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with ADHD and how I've managed to cope with this
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journey and how I've managed to bring God into everything that
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I've done in my life. After our conversation, you
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and I hung out for, what was it, maybe 30 minutes at Camps Con. And
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as soon as I've been doing a a training on trauma care in the
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camp's context, Wendi you came up after the training, and you said, Tim,
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like, this this is what people need to hear. This is what I try and
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share with people. How do we care well for the people around us is kind
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of how I remember our conversations. And then as you shared your
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story, which will will let our listeners hear a little bit of it, whatever parts
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you wanna share. As you shared your story, I thought this is very powerful how
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you've come to understand what you're carrying. You've helped
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others around you understand you, and I've even heard,
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especially in the camp's context, that you reach out and help other people understand
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how they're differently wired and and how they can, really
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receive the kind of care that you know you've needed all along. And sometimes you've
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got and sometimes you haven't. But before I dive in the deep end, can you
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start by sharing your personal journey with ADHD, and mental
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health challenges that you faced along the way, would you be able to kind of
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give us a little bit of a a journey? As a
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kid, I've always had it in me, always
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been there, but it was around the age of 8 9 that I actually was
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clinically diagnosed with it in school. I remember it being
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very, very difficult in schools to learn
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and do anything because as a child, the ADHD was
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always so bad that I couldn't even sit in my seat
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correctly. I had to be moving. I had to be doing
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something. It was very, very hard for me to focus on
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what I was trying to learn in class because there's
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just so much going on around you in a classroom
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that nobody else ever sees. The normal person can
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look up at a board and just figure
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out what's going on and be like, hey. This is now my memory. What
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I have found with me personally is that if you sit me down
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at a table and try and make me stare at a thing and you're
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trying to teach me simple basic math, 1 +1equals2,
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I have found that my brain will decide to take that and
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put it into so many steps that I'm no longer able to
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figure out how to do it because my brain has just over
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proportionized, if you wanna say it like that,
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everything that is going on. And, like
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I said, sitting down at a table is difficult because the normal person can stare
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at a whiteboard and listen. While I'm sitting there, I'm
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realizing the 1 guy is tapping his pen in a certain
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pattern order while the squirrel's running outside of the Wendi,
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and the teacher's doing something funny with its foot. And by the time I realized
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that, hey, I have to be paying attention to the whiteboard, it's like, hey,
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class is over. Very, very difficult for me to be
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able to just do that kind of focusing part, which
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can vary in different people, especially children. I
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happen to struggle with relationships, friendships, and
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all around the focusing part. Driving, when
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I was diagnosed, doctors actually said that
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I would probably have to be put on medication to ever be able to
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drive. That was a very, very difficult
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thing to hear because I had never been on medication before. I still have not
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been on medication, and I am thinking about it. It is a
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personal decision whether or not you wanna take medication. Not against
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the idea of it, but I've never tried it before. I've just
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found that I've learned ways to cope with
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my kind of living at this point, I guess. So what
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are some of those ways that you've coped? Do you have some strategies that you've
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implemented to be able to do some of these things that the doctors say you
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wouldn't be able to do without medication? With the driving part
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of this, it would be focusing on
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the road. Now as I said with the classroom situation,
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an ADHD brain is wired so that every
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single thing can be noticed all in 1 big ball.
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Like, my brain has 200 separate
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roads that are all interchanging, trying to get
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past each other, but they're all trying to get to the same spot at the
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same time. So somewhere in there, you know 2 of
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those cars are just gonna collide, go off the rails.
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That kind of collision can be I forgot to put on a
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blinker. And it just takes time
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because my brain has a hard time focusing on multiple
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things at 1 time. For instance, my mother, who
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is 1 of my biggest supporters ever, love her so much, has figured
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out ways to get around my ADHD.
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1 of them being is that she will never give me
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multiple things to do. She will never be, like,
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sweep the floor, do the laundry, do the dishes, then go clean the
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bathroom. She will do that in a way that she'll be, like,
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alright. First, what I want you to do is I want you to grab
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the room and sweep the floor. Leave it there.
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When I am done that, then she would go,
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alright. Now I want you to do this. I want
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you to do this next because, personally, in my journey, I
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have found that it's hard for me to multitask. Multitasking
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is a very, very difficult thing. Like, I was talking about,
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for instance, right now, I am learning algebra.
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Not fun. With algebra, you have to know so
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many certain steps and how to do a question,
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and that is, like, 1 of the main things I struggle with, being able
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to keep order in my brain. That's why I like
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having schedule. That's why I like knowing what's going
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on next so I can prepare and be able
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to plan my body to know what is going to be happening, how
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I need to behave. You have an incredible amount of
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insight into what you need, and you have that
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teammate, your mom, that's been so influential on this
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journey. When was the, kind of the first moment in
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your life that you realized that you had ADHD, and how did that affect you
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just going back in your story a little bit? The first
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time I would say I ever really started
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figuring out that I had ADHD was school.
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Now at the time, I knew I had it. I knew
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that I was diagnosed with it clinically, but I had no idea what
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it was until teachers started saying,
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hey. Have you ever tried a special ed class?
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Have you ever tried going in a separate room by yourself where there's no
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distractions, where there's no nothing, and you can just sit down and focus?
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I was offered it, and I was like, I don't need that. And then they
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were like, we're gonna let you try it. I will never forget the
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day that they brought me into a room, and I was like, man,
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it is crazily different how much
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easier it is to focus in a room with no
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distractions. And there was always, like, the
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special chairs, the special fidgets that they were always like, do you
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wanna try this while you do your work? And it was always like, no. I
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don't need it. But then I started I started
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opening up to the options of, like, even a simple
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swivel chair. Just something that can
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keep your body moving while you focus. Because I
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have had so many days in school
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that I was sat down in a desk and didn't learn
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anything. But as soon as you take me out of that setting
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and you put me in a environment where
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I feel like I am not distracted, I
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have 1 on 1 help. It really
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makes a difference in the way you think about it.
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That's really helpful to get your perspective and to hear that there were people that
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were able to see your challenges and journey with you.
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William, when you shared your story with me the first time, you were sharing
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the connection between this journey that you were on with
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ADHD, the realization with the,
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you know, doctor saying, hey. This is what it is, and kinda how that
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affected you. And then and then journeying from there, you've shared a little
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bit of the connection that you've seen between
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ADHD and your experience of it and your mental health. Do you wanna share a
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little bit about that? The way I see it is
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I have undiagnosed anxiety. It's not
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diagnosed by doctors, but I have had panic
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episodes. I have had 2 hour long panic
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episodes where it feels like just
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a war going on sides your head between
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ADHD and anxiety because anxiety, I
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have found in me is like stay home, lay down in
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bed. You don't wanna do anything. You don't wanna go out. But then
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you have the ADHD side that is like, go
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outside. Get this done. You need to do this now, right
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now. And it's like they just don't
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ever find the right socket to sit into each other and
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try and work with each other. It's 1 of the things I'm
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still struggling as a teenager to learn how to manage
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and cope with anxiety and
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ADHD just trying to always bang
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heads with each other. And there is a
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couple of ways I've learned to deal with it. I always
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try at least once a week, if not more,
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to just sit down and do nothing. It
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is crazy what that will do for you. And I'm not,
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like, talking, do nothing, like, play a
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video game, read a book. I literally
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mean just sit down and do
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nothing. I know that a lot of people
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probably don't have the time to do that, but if you can make time to
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just sit down in your bed, have a quick prayer to god,
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be like, hey, man. This is what's going on through my week. This
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is how I've tried to deal with it
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and try and be able to have that 1 on
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1 connection with God in a way
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that is pure and holy of all kind of
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outside distractions because that is a time that
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I like to try, and I will admit reading is very
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difficult for me because I find it very, very boring. So
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reading my bible and praying have always been a difficult thing for
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me, but I really do try to
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set apart a time that it is just
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me and him. Because with these 2
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things clashing, you're always like, when's it gonna end? When's
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the next thing gonna happen? When's the next attack gonna start? When am
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I gonna crash from ADHD? But if you
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just take that minute and you just sit down
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and you reflect on what you have
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done that week, and you give yourself
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mercy for any kind of bad things you've done that week, I
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swear, it goes the longest way.
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That's incredible, William. It feels like you're you're speaking to
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me and to our audience about spiritual practices,
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silence, and solitude, being by yourself, and Sabbath
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where doing nothing is actually doing something. I I think this is absolutely
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brilliant that you found these as coping strategies for the
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anxiety and ADHD that you're saying do this sort of
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tussle in your head. Right? And and I love that you've had people in
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your life that have journeyed with you and supporting you. And do you feel that
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some of those relationships have played into you discovering these coping mechanisms as well
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as, discovering the challenges that you had? Yeah. I
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would say that I have a best friend. His name's Josiah,
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and he is literally, like, the main person I can
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trust with just about anything I you can think
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of. And if I ever have a problem,
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he's the person I go to. That is a suggestion
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for not only people with ADHD, anxiety,
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any kind of mental disorder you may have.
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Always have somebody. Always
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have a place that you feel safe
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to be yourself. Always have a person
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to be able to say, I feel safe to
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be around you in being myself.
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Because if you do not have that person and you are living your
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life in a way that just feels like
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a lie, then not only
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will anxiety get worse, you
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may start to come up with other symptoms like
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depression and things that you don't want
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because you just can't be yourself. I
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have found it so beneficial to know
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that there is someone in my corner that
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whenever anything happens, that they will be
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there for me. And it is such a relief of the
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mind knowing that even when
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your anxiety is flaring up and you're going through
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episodes and impressions at an
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all time high, and you can just be able to
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go on your phone and just know that
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there is someone that you can talk to,
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someone that is willing to sit down and listen to you.
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Can you think of any specific moments or times
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where you had that person to sit down with
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and it's been a big help? Like, can you think of any examples?
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Yes. I can. Last year at
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camp, I had 1 of the biggest anxiety
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attacks I've ever had. It was 2
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hours 30 minutes along. I
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will never forget it. It felt like I was dying.
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Just like all of the specialists and everybody I've
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heard talk about it, it really does feel like you're dying.
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Josiah, my best friend, we work at this summer camp together.
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And it was a very long night, and I was trying to
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find my director. And out of
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nowhere, I just felt it inside of me.
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And if you've had anxiety attacks in episodes, you know the
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feeling of dread that comes over you when
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you know it's gonna happen. You you feel your adrenaline just start
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hoarsing through your veins, and you're like, I know this is about to
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happen. I need to sit down. I need to find that person.
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And it was Josiah
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that sat down with me and
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was honestly the reason that that panic attack did not go on for 3
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plus hours. It was so beneficial
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that he was there, and I'm so glad to say that I had him in
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my corner just like I wish upon everybody else to be
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able to say, I have someone in my corner
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that I can trust in any moment
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of any feeling. That's incredible. Thank you for
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sharing that story, William. I know you shared it with me and with
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Johan asking, was there a time? I am so
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appreciating that that's the story you chose to tell. And, yeah,
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you'd you'd shared that you'd made a call and and you were waiting
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for, you know, your your person, and,
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and then your friend was there for you, which was awesome. It was my
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mother who I called for. I sat in the room for us all the 10
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minutes on the phone with my mother sitting there panicking.
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Thank the Lord in so many ways that she
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had my director's phone number because nobody
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knew where I was. I ran away and I hid.
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And my mother had our director who
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was trained in this kind of thing, who was
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trained in how to deal with somebody having a panic attack.
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And I thank the lord all the time that how that
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worked out because it could have gone so much worse if nobody would have found
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me. And that's beautiful that somebody in the camp context
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had that training, that capacity. And when I was hearing
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you share, I was thinking how powerful it is that you're in a
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camp context and you're able to offer your gift and how important it is. You
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and I were discussing a little bit for camp teens, for any kind of team
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to be equipped. And that's 1 of the reasons we're having this podcast to allow
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more people to think about, am I equipped to care for those around me or
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for those who are carrying challenges, who are differently wired? Who are those
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people? I I love how you've kind of pushed that point home as who is
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your person, and are are you keeping them near you? Are you keeping them
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on on speed dial? I guess that's an old fashioned thing. But right there on
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your cell phone, you know, that that ability to just hit their number and call
20:07
them when you need them. So pivot a tiny bit just because
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you've already taken us into the camp context. You've been involved in volunteering it
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with Camp Work in Atlantic Canada for a little while now. What inspired
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you to start, and what's that experience been like for you? It
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has been very, very beneficial because
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I am working in a place that I feel like I am
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loved, that I feel like I am safe, that I feel like I can be
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me working with my best friends. It's really 1
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of the best decisions I've ever made. But there were
20:40
steps before this decision, and I was nervous to
20:44
take this job because this was the
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year that my father had
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passed away in a tragic Bodex in 2020.
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Chief William Salas out at sea, December
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15th. And I'm so thankful I was in
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homeschooling for that because we took, honestly, a solid 3
21:06
months off after it. But it made me
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realize that life can
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change in literally a blink of an eye
21:17
without notice. It's sad and tragic,
21:21
but anything can happen. And people say, live in the
21:25
moment. Live in the moment. And I truly do believe
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that you should live in the moment. Make every
21:32
second matter because you do not know when God is calling you
21:36
home. It really made me reflect on my
21:39
relationship with God because I was I was
21:43
angry. I will admit I was very angry that
21:47
God had taken someone from me that I finally just started to get
21:51
to know again because my father was never really in my life as a child.
21:55
I just started to really gain a connection with him.
21:59
And I'll never forget the day that I went out in my
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shed, and I I yelled at god. I
22:06
was angry, and that is alright because
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everybody in this world is going to go through times
22:13
in their lives when they are doubting god. I don't
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think you, Tim, or you, Johan, can think of
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anybody that has never been angry
22:24
or had some kind of doubt. Is god really
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with me on this? Is god really there?
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And this was definitely my moment of I
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gotta figure out what's what I'm doing with my life.
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And I decided after a lot of
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consideration, prayer, talking to people, and
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talking to my mother because my mother and my aunt
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and my grandmother and a lot of people that I know have worked at
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this summer camp that I'm working at right now. It's almost it's basically
22:58
a generational thing at this point. And I
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just remember so much prayer about it,
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and I could just feel that god was holding
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me to this place that I I've gone since I
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was 7 years old. And it is
23:16
so life changing to just look back and
23:20
remember the person that I was when I joined this summer camp.
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I will admit, I believed in God when I first joined the summer
23:27
camp. I believed that he was real. I believed that he was my god.
23:31
I asked him for salvation, but I
23:35
was living a life knowing that I knew God, not that I
23:38
was with God. And it really
23:42
took a good year and a half to realize
23:46
that I am not letting God have full
23:50
control over my life, that I am
23:54
keeping to myself that I am
23:58
not much of a disciple. You can be living with
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him. That does not mean you are living for him. And
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when you understand the difference between that, it will change the way
24:09
you look at it. It really, really will because it did for
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me. Thank you for sharing. That's a deep, deep
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part of your journey, William. When we asked, you know, what brought you
24:20
to camp, who knew it would be such a deep loss, and we
24:23
agree that with you. We are all on different journeys with God.
24:27
And and like you said, we all have those moments where
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where we question him. But being a
24:34
generational camp worker, Can you identify some of the
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strengths that you bring to the table when you go to camp? Well, it
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all depends how you look at it, I've seen. Like,
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I I notice when I'm doing something wrong and when I'm doing something right.
24:48
But some of the benefits that I love to say that
24:52
I bring to the table, I have come to find that,
24:56
yes, I may be disorganized and I may need a schedule,
25:00
but ADHD brings out so much energy,
25:04
fun, positive, loving attitude that
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I have learned as my gifts from god
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to be able to convey with the kids.
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Like, I've seen a lot of leaders there not be
25:19
able to do some of the activities that I can do. For instance, we
25:23
do a thing called field game. I have seen staff
25:26
members after around because they're all teenagers. They're
25:30
like, I'm bored. I wanna sit down. And I've
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seen them go 10 minutes and then sit down and just watch.
25:37
Me, I have enough energy to run around with them
25:41
for an entire hour to be able to give them
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a memory of camp, to be able to bring
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them back so they can learn more
25:53
about who has saved them,
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who should have all reign over their lives.
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And, yes, they may be a bit young at this point. But like I
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said earlier, it's sad, but we never know when our time
26:07
ends. So we must, as disciples of God,
26:11
make every moment count. So your
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energy that you bring, that energy that keeps you spinning and
26:18
makes it challenging for you and sometimes causes you to face anxiety
26:22
is the same energy that actually brings the kids to life and helps
26:26
them dial in. Very interesting. Uh-huh. Yeah. And I I
26:30
love that, like, you're sharing those practices and the people that
26:33
have helped you, really dial in and and journey with what you're
26:37
carrying. Now you're you're doing that for the kids and not in spite of your
26:40
challenges, but actually incorporating the strengths. And I love that
26:44
this series is called differently wired. It's not about, this
26:48
simply being a subtraction, but it's an incredible thing. And I I love that you're
26:51
able to see that, William, that you actually bring this as a gift. Do you
26:55
have a specific story or or positive interaction where you've seen that happen
26:58
or or where you've interacted with a camper or a staff in a way that's
27:02
helped them understand what you're helping our listeners understand right
27:05
now? I remember it was a little
27:09
boy. I can't remember his name. God bless his heart. He was 1 of my
27:13
favorite kids at camp. I'll be honest. I don't think he was
27:16
diagnosed with it. There was nothing in his record when he came out of the
27:20
cabin saying that he had it. But I remember him just
27:24
always being like, what are we doing next? What are we
27:27
doing next? I wanna be prepared. I wanna know what's going on. I never said
27:31
this to him personally, but I was like, this kid acts a
27:35
lot like me. And I'll never forget 1 night. We were
27:38
in the cabin. It was bedtime. It was brush your teeth,
27:42
And we were all eating snack, and
27:46
I walked over out to him because I wanted I wanted to test something.
27:50
And I asked him a certain series of questions. I was like it was just
27:53
like it was just a checklist. I was like, have you done this? Have you
27:56
done this? Have you done this? Have you done this? And I did
28:00
it for 4 nights. And first, I would
28:04
ask him, do you have you brushed your teeth? Have you changed into your your
28:07
pj's? Do you know where all of your stuff is?
28:11
Do you know what you're gonna wear tomorrow? And he would go, yep.
28:14
Yep. Yep. No. In every single
28:18
night, it was a different thing that he missed. Like,
28:21
1 night, it would be he forgot to brush his teeth. This night,
28:25
he was supposed to have a shower. He didn't have a shower, so on so
28:29
forth. And I'll never forget. It was it
28:33
was around lunchtime, And he walks over to me, and
28:36
he goes, so what are we eating for lunch? Well, I
28:40
can't tell you that. It'd be a surprise. And he goes,
28:44
well, I like to know what I'm eating so I can plan out what
28:48
I can eat on it and how I'm gonna eat it and what I'm gonna
28:51
put on it. And I'm like, you're doing a
28:55
lot of planning for a child. This is impressive. And he
28:59
goes, yeah. I normally do this. And I was like, yep.
29:03
You probably have ADHD. I
29:07
didn't say that to him. I never said that to his parent, but
29:10
it's 1 interaction with a child that I will personally
29:14
never forget. That's beautiful, William, what you bring into
29:18
connection with others. Before we get to the end
29:22
of our conversation, it's been powerful hearing
29:26
how you have been able to understand yourself and bring your
29:29
gifts, your strengths, and support others, and how others have been
29:33
there to support you, in coping with the challenges that you
29:37
have, especially your friend and your mom. And do you find
29:40
that there are some common misunderstandings about ADHD and
29:44
mental health challenges that you've encountered, perhaps
29:48
individuals that don't get what you're journeying
29:51
with, are there some common misunderstandings that you could share with our
29:55
audience? With ADHD,
29:59
please do not assume that we are lazy.
30:03
That is the most common misconception
30:08
that people with ADHD have been known for.
30:12
Because if we're not interested in what you're
30:15
saying, especially from a child's standpoint, we
30:19
are not going to care. We
30:23
are already 3 steps ahead what we're gonna do
30:27
after this. What are we gonna do with our
30:30
thumbs while we're listening to you speak gibberish? We're already 3
30:34
steps ahead of what you're talking about because we don't
30:38
care. In saying that, if you can find a way,
30:42
if you are dealing with a child that is yours or somebody else's that is
30:46
struggling with ADHD, if you can plan
30:50
around something that they're interested in that moment
30:54
in time like, me, personally, I'm a really,
30:57
really big fan of fishing. I love fishing. It's, like, 1 of my biggest passions.
31:02
If you can plan a lesson
31:05
around fishing like, when I was a child, if you
31:09
would have worded a math question, 1 +1equalsblank,
31:14
I wouldn't have cared. I would be like, I
31:17
guess maybe 2. But if you would have put it, this
31:21
fisherman caught 1 fish and this fisherman
31:25
caught 1 fish, you take both of those fish and put them
31:28
together, How many fish do you have? 2. 2. 2. 2.
31:32
2. And like I've said before, some kids are different.
31:36
Some kids can sit down and do this kind of stuff, and they can
31:39
multitask. And it's really about
31:43
learning how the person or the
31:46
child with ADHD how can you
31:50
find that their brain is differently wired?
31:54
How can you find their little sync?
31:58
Because I have found with every ADHD person, they each have
32:02
their own little thing that they shine in and that they are
32:05
horrible at. Me, personally, I'm horrible at
32:09
focusing in relationships, but I excel
32:13
in the energy department, in the being able to go all
32:17
day department Well, somebody else with ADHD
32:21
have to crash every 30 minutes, but can keep
32:25
so planned. It's crazy. Like, I've
32:29
seen people with ADHD have their entire
32:32
week planned, start to finish, what they're gonna
32:36
do each exact moment. And I'm like,
32:39
that's crazy. What are you doing? Because I don't
32:43
I don't get the idea of a super long schedule. So what I
32:47
get from that is while differently wired, you're not so
32:51
different than the rest of us because we all have things that we bring to
32:54
the table and things that we're not so good at. Is there anything else that
32:58
you'd like to share with our listeners that
33:01
is something you really that that's burning on your heart that you really want
33:05
them to know before we close out this interview here? Have
33:09
grace with them. Have patience.
33:13
Because a person with ADHD is not going to be able to
33:17
do things as quickly as you unless they are hardwired to
33:21
do that. If you mess up, give
33:24
yourself grace. Just stop for
33:28
a second. Have a quick prayer. Give
33:32
myself grace. It's alright.
33:36
Oh, I think this is a great word to end our episode today on,
33:39
William, giving grace to ourselves, giving grace to the other,
33:43
especially perhaps when they're differently wired than us. William, it's been such
33:47
a pleasure to hear more of your story today, and so
33:50
honored that you would share it in a way that many others can
33:54
engage and hear what it's like
33:58
to journey with being differently wired in the way that you are,
34:02
and not simply as challenge, although you've shared with us what the challenges are,
34:06
but also in the gift and the strength that it is. Thank you so much
34:09
for sharing your story. And, we're really excited
34:13
that you have chosen to take this little journey with us today in conversation. Thank
34:16
you, William. Had a very, very lovely time talking about it.
34:20
It's great to get a young person's perspective for sure. Thanks again for
34:24
joining us. Listeners, again, make sure you're sharing the
34:28
podcast with your friends, especially this series. We believe these conversations
34:31
are so important to help us love 1 another better and care for our
34:35
neighbors. Thank you for joining another
34:39
conversation on Journey with Care, where we inspire
34:42
curious Canadians on their path of faith and living life with
34:46
purpose in community. Journey with Care is an initiative of Care
34:50
Impact, a Canadian charity dedicated to connecting and equipping the
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whole church to journey well in community. You can visit their website
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35:20
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35:24
remember to stay curious.