Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Executive Coach & author Ryan Leak talks about how to be successful

Transcript

Executive Coach & author Ryan Leak talks about how to be successful · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Whatever business you're in, growth isn't just about getting bigger.
0:03
Speaker 1: At ADP, we believe it's about getting stronger. By turning
0:07
Speaker 1: data into insights so you can build teams that work
0:10
Speaker 1: as teams, by using our AI technology to help catch
0:13
Speaker 1: payroll errors before their errors, and by keeping ahead of
0:17
Speaker 1: thousands of changing regulations so you can keep ahead of
0:20
Speaker 1: everything else. ADP helps businesses like yours grow stronger every
0:25
Speaker 1: day a dp HR Talent, Time and Payroll. Hi, I'm Saracustack.
0:32
Speaker 1: I'm the NBA analysts for they S Network, and I'm
0:35
Speaker 1: hosting a new podcast called NBA Flashback. NBA Flashback takes
0:39
Speaker 1: you back to the best moments in NBA history through
0:42
Speaker 1: exclusive archival audio from the NBA vault, and each week
0:49
Speaker 1: we'll have new interviews with the legends who were actually
0:52
Speaker 1: on the court. Check out NBA Flashback on the I
0:54
Speaker 1: Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1:00
Speaker 1: Honorary forest Ranger Pitty White here lending a hand to
1:04
Speaker 1: my dear friends Smokey Bear, because for years he's only
1:08
Speaker 1: said only you can prevent wildfires, but there's a lot
1:11
Speaker 1: more to say, like if you park your car on
1:14
Speaker 1: tall dry grass the heart A sauce pipe can start
1:17
Speaker 1: a wildfire, so keep the animals safe, especially the cute
1:21
Speaker 1: shirtless one. Go to smokey bear dot com to learn
1:24
Speaker 1: more about wildfire prevention. Brought to you by the U. S.
1:27
Speaker 1: Forest Service, your state Forrester, and the ad Council. Welcome
1:35
Speaker 1: to money Making Conversations. It's to show that she has
1:37
Speaker 1: the secrets of success experience firsthand by Marketing and Brandon
1:40
Speaker 1: expert Rashan McDonald. I will know he's given me advice
1:43
Speaker 1: on many occasions. In occasion didn't notice I'm not broke.
1:47
Speaker 1: You know, he'll be interviewing celebrity CEO, entrepreneurs and industry
1:51
Speaker 1: decision makers. It's what he likes to do. It's what
1:53
Speaker 1: he likes to share. Now it's time to hear from
1:55
Speaker 1: my man, Rashan McDonald money making conversations Here we come.
2:00
Speaker 1: Welcome to money making Conversations. I am your host, Rashwan McDonald.
2:05
Speaker 1: It is time, like I said every week, to stop
2:07
Speaker 1: reading other people's success stories and really start writing your own.
2:11
Speaker 1: I always talk about gifts. You hear people talk about
2:13
Speaker 1: your passion, and I said, if you have a gift,
2:14
Speaker 1: lead with your gifts. And don't let your age friends,
2:17
Speaker 1: family or co workers stop you from planning or living
2:20
Speaker 1: your dreams. My interviews I do own money making conversation
2:23
Speaker 1: up for you. I interview celebrities, CEO, entrepreneurs and people
2:27
Speaker 1: I like to call industry decision makers. My guests is
2:30
Speaker 1: perfect from that statement that I lad with leading with
2:32
Speaker 1: your gifts and all that your age friends, family of
2:34
Speaker 1: coworkers stop you from playing and living your dreams. Because
2:37
Speaker 1: his book is about pushing through failure because that sets
2:41
Speaker 1: you up for success. And his name is Ryan Leak.
2:44
Speaker 1: He's an author, speaker, executive coach, and podcaster. He's known
2:47
Speaker 1: for two documentaries, The Surprise Wedding and Chasing Failure. Ryan's
2:51
Speaker 1: careers split fifty percent speaking in churches and fifty percent
2:54
Speaker 1: doing executive coaching through his company, The Ryan Leek Company.
2:58
Speaker 1: He's on the show to talk about his new up,
3:00
Speaker 1: Chasing Failure. How falling short set you up for success.
3:04
Speaker 1: It stated in his book kids can dream uninterrupted because
3:08
Speaker 1: their failure has not yet become something that they fear.
3:11
Speaker 1: In the book Chasing Failure, Ryan lays out the framework
3:14
Speaker 1: you need to chase failure successfully, which means living a
3:17
Speaker 1: life where you are pursuing your dreams, living in your
3:20
Speaker 1: purpose and experiencing fulfillment. Please walk with the money making conversation.
3:25
Speaker 1: I hope I laid that well for him, Ryan Leak,
3:29
Speaker 1: it's an honor to be here. So glad to be
3:31
Speaker 1: on the show. Well, good, my friend, and I'm a literation.
3:34
Speaker 1: One of my one of my little men tees are
3:36
Speaker 1: Ricky Smiley. Kind of remind me a little bit of
3:38
Speaker 1: Ricky smiling here. Ryand you know that, man, I looked
3:41
Speaker 1: at you if I said, look just like a little
3:43
Speaker 1: Rickie smiler there. But that's a couple because he's handsome
3:46
Speaker 1: in your hands. Got ye are good people, man. We
3:50
Speaker 1: talked about at least two or three times a month
3:52
Speaker 1: about stuff like this, about chasing the dreams, about position
3:57
Speaker 1: yourself for success. Now this is what the fifth version
4:00
Speaker 1: of our addition, I should say, I'm chasing you. Yeah. Absolutely.
4:05
Speaker 1: You know the first one was really just the story
4:08
Speaker 1: of me trying out for the Phoenix Suns and you know,
4:11
Speaker 1: diving into the surprise wedding. So that was only about
4:14
Speaker 1: sixty pages. Found some typos in it, which is the
4:17
Speaker 1: thing every author hates to hear. And you know, we
4:19
Speaker 1: kind of kept trying to revisit it and rebrand it,
4:22
Speaker 1: but it just, well, in my estimation, you know, kept
4:26
Speaker 1: kept failing. And so um. So you know, five years later,
4:30
Speaker 1: when having a conversation with my literary agent about, hey,
4:33
Speaker 1: I think you need to squeeze his limit again, and
4:35
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, like, hey, that's that's that I already talked
4:39
Speaker 1: about that. And and she challenged me. She challenged me.
4:42
Speaker 1: She said, yeah, but you didn't. You didn't actually market it,
4:44
Speaker 1: you didn't actually like really write like a book book.
4:47
Speaker 1: So how about you to write a book book this time?
4:50
Speaker 1: And so I said, all right, let's do it. And
4:53
Speaker 1: and so here we are again. And uh, if at
4:56
Speaker 1: first you don't succeed, then maybe you should try again.
4:59
Speaker 1: What would Joe right into it? Because on the fourth version,
5:02
Speaker 1: if we talk in the book, it talks about shame,
5:05
Speaker 1: and shame is always tied to failure. Because I'm gonna
5:07
Speaker 1: go right there, because I wanted to talk about the
5:09
Speaker 1: version because I feel that that stops a lot of people,
5:11
Speaker 1: you know, the fear of failure, fear what people would think.
5:14
Speaker 1: And I thought that chapter should be the proper chapter
5:16
Speaker 1: to start out this conversation with because I think it
5:20
Speaker 1: stops a tremendous amount of people. I'm not gonna put
5:22
Speaker 1: a percentage on that, but I know I talked to
5:25
Speaker 1: a lot of people. I'm motivating a lot of people,
5:28
Speaker 1: and it's always tied to the what if. So talking
5:31
Speaker 1: about the fourth version and that shame and the fear
5:34
Speaker 1: of failure wrapped up into that chapter, well, you know,
5:38
Speaker 1: there can be a lot of what are people thinking
5:41
Speaker 1: about this? What are are people going to shame me?
5:45
Speaker 1: How much of that shame is something that I put
5:47
Speaker 1: on myself? What are the expected? Who's writing the rules?
5:52
Speaker 1: At some point you gotta ask yourself that question, who's
5:55
Speaker 1: making up the rules to say this is how things
5:58
Speaker 1: have to look? And so at some point you gotta
6:01
Speaker 1: wake up and go, Okay, what what what do I
6:04
Speaker 1: What do I actually really want to do and do
6:06
Speaker 1: I believe that it can actually make a difference and
6:08
Speaker 1: add value to people's life. And if it can, then
6:11
Speaker 1: we should just go for it and not wait for
6:13
Speaker 1: other people's permission to do what God has already gifted
6:17
Speaker 1: us to do. And so sometimes we're looking for somebody
6:19
Speaker 1: else's approval before we make decisions or take next steps.
6:24
Speaker 1: And there's so much of a Now, how are they
6:26
Speaker 1: going to make me feel? But what I've tried to
6:29
Speaker 1: do in this book is almost reversed that, a little
6:31
Speaker 1: bit of going, hey, you know you you need to
6:33
Speaker 1: make a decision about how you're going to feel before
6:36
Speaker 1: you do something, not acting. You know, it's really interesting
6:39
Speaker 1: because I excited that quote and it came from the
6:42
Speaker 1: foreword of your book. Kids can dream uninterrupted because their
6:45
Speaker 1: failure has not yet become something that they fear. And
6:49
Speaker 1: and we always I have a daughter, and I was
6:52
Speaker 1: always the kids. Always. I remember as a kid, I
6:54
Speaker 1: could sit down looking at the television show and I
6:56
Speaker 1: wanted to be on TV or I wanted to I
6:59
Speaker 1: remember I wanted to it saw some things off short
7:01
Speaker 1: I wanted to do. I wanted to work off shore,
7:03
Speaker 1: and eventually in life I did work off shore. And
7:06
Speaker 1: so how I got there was it tied to my
7:09
Speaker 1: wish as a kid. All I know is nobody stopped
7:12
Speaker 1: me from that dream or that process. And so when
7:16
Speaker 1: I look at you, I know that that's the word
7:17
Speaker 1: has been out there a lot because of the Philadelphia
7:19
Speaker 1: seven and six is the process. There's a process. When
7:23
Speaker 1: you're talking Ryan about chasing your dreams in your book.
7:27
Speaker 1: When I said it right here, you outline it. What
7:29
Speaker 1: is the process let's start there. Is it just having
7:33
Speaker 1: the idea or just having the aspiration, But what is
7:35
Speaker 1: the process of fulfilling or chasing your dream? Well, I
7:40
Speaker 1: think what often happens. You know, people ask me Ryan,
7:43
Speaker 1: do you really believe that I should shoot for the moon?
7:46
Speaker 1: I say absolutely. You just need to know what it
7:49
Speaker 1: costs to get to the moon. You should also know
7:52
Speaker 1: that very few people have ever actually made it to
7:56
Speaker 1: the moon. You should also know that there are a
7:59
Speaker 1: lot of people that help other people get to the moon.
8:02
Speaker 1: They work at NASA. Do you know how hard it
8:04
Speaker 1: is to get accepted at NASA? It is literally eighty
8:08
Speaker 1: times harder to get accepted into NASA than it is
8:13
Speaker 1: harder And so I'm always telling people You've got to
8:16
Speaker 1: ask yourself, is your idea? Is your dream? Is your
8:20
Speaker 1: goal a top one percenter? Because if it's a top
8:23
Speaker 1: one percenter type idea, a top one percenter type dream,
8:28
Speaker 1: you better have top one percenter type habits. You better
8:32
Speaker 1: have top one percenter type disciplines. Your schedule should look
8:37
Speaker 1: like a top one percenter. Your money should be spent
8:40
Speaker 1: how top one percenters spend their money, and so oftentimes
8:44
Speaker 1: what I'm encountering is people have top one percent er
8:47
Speaker 1: dreams with nine percentile type habits and expecting extraordinary results
8:54
Speaker 1: from ordinary habits. And that's just not how it works.
8:57
Speaker 1: And so part of the processes is actually evaluating, Okay,
9:02
Speaker 1: where is my idea, where is my goal, and being
9:06
Speaker 1: able to assess, okay, how hard is this going to
9:08
Speaker 1: be pull off? And what is it going to cost
9:10
Speaker 1: me in terms of my time, my finances, even relationships
9:15
Speaker 1: to pull this thing off. And that's where I think
9:17
Speaker 1: people often miss the mark. And actually the reason why
9:20
Speaker 1: they fail is because they fail to actually do the
9:23
Speaker 1: pre planning to actually make their idea well. It's finally
9:27
Speaker 1: here the season of celebration, and no matter how you
9:30
Speaker 1: celebrate with family and friends, whether you're preparing for Reis
9:34
Speaker 1: magos or Karamu lighting the Manura, are going to midnight mass,
9:38
Speaker 1: Coals has just what you need to make those traditions special.
9:42
Speaker 1: Plus you'll find gifts for all your loved ones. Send
9:45
Speaker 1: warm wishes with cozy fleeces, sweaters, loungeware, blankets and throws.
9:49
Speaker 1: Support minority owned or founded brands by giving gifts from
9:53
Speaker 1: Human Nation and shame moisture or treat them to everyone's
9:57
Speaker 1: favorite activewear from top brands like Nike, Adidas, and under Armour.
10:01
Speaker 1: And in the spirit of giving, Coals Cares is donating
10:05
Speaker 1: eight million dollars to local nonprofits nationwide committed to the
10:08
Speaker 1: health and well being of our communities. No matter how
10:12
Speaker 1: you celebrate, when you shop at Coals, you're right where
10:15
Speaker 1: you belong. So this season, give with all your heart
10:18
Speaker 1: with great gifts from Coals or Coals dot Com. And
10:22
Speaker 1: we're live here outside the Perez family home, just waiting
10:26
Speaker 1: for the and there they go, almost on time. This morning.
10:29
Speaker 1: Mom is coming off the front door strong with a
10:31
Speaker 1: double arm kid carry. Looks like Dad has the bags.
10:34
Speaker 1: Daughter is bringing up the rear. Oh but the diaper
10:38
Speaker 1: bag wasn't closed. Diapers and toys are everywhere. Oh but
10:43
Speaker 1: Mom has just nailed the perfect car seat buckle for
10:46
Speaker 1: the toddler. And now the eldest daughter, who looks to
10:49
Speaker 1: be about nine or ten, has secured herself and the
10:52
Speaker 1: booster seat. Dad zips the bag clothes and they're off. Ah,
10:56
Speaker 1: but looks like Mom doesn't realize her coffee cup is
10:59
Speaker 1: still on the roof the car and there it goes. Oh,
11:03
Speaker 1: that's a shame that mug was a fan favorite. Don't
11:06
Speaker 1: sweat the small stuff, just nail the big stuff, like
11:09
Speaker 1: making sure your kids are buckled correctly in the right
11:11
Speaker 1: seat for their agent's eyes. Learn more at n h
11:13
Speaker 1: t s A dot gov slash the Right Seat visits
11:15
Speaker 1: n h s A dot gov slash the Right Seat,
11:19
Speaker 1: brought to you by Mizza and the AD Council. If
11:22
Speaker 1: I could be you and you could be me for
11:25
Speaker 1: just one hour, if you could find a way to
11:27
Speaker 1: get inside each other's mind, walk a mile in my shoes,
11:31
Speaker 1: wacome mile in my shoes. Shoes. We've all felt left out,
11:37
Speaker 1: and for some that feeling lasts more than a moment.
11:40
Speaker 1: We can change that. Learn how it belonging begins with
11:43
Speaker 1: us dot org brought to you by the AD Council.
11:47
Speaker 1: Welcome out in the shoes, isn't it? Ryan also tied
11:53
Speaker 1: to people's perception of what they feel you should be,
11:56
Speaker 1: or you could be, or you should be, and you're
11:59
Speaker 1: not eva you're waiting properly what you want it to
12:01
Speaker 1: be in your life, what the path you want to take,
12:04
Speaker 1: because you hit on that in the book. But I
12:06
Speaker 1: just want to pull that out and let people hear
12:08
Speaker 1: that coming out coming from you. In particularly because you
12:11
Speaker 1: know you you could be a great athlete. People think
12:13
Speaker 1: you should go into sports, but then you may have
12:15
Speaker 1: the desire to be a doctor, and so so you
12:18
Speaker 1: have to shift. In the end, like you said, you
12:21
Speaker 1: have to be happy with you, and you're chasing failure
12:24
Speaker 1: and setting yourself up. Success is to success what you
12:27
Speaker 1: want or success you're trying to achieve for somebody else.
12:31
Speaker 1: Let's talk about that a little bit. Absolutely, Yeah, I
12:34
Speaker 1: think that. I like to say God has a plan
12:37
Speaker 1: for your life, and so do other people. Yeah, other
12:40
Speaker 1: people have a plan for where you should work, the
12:43
Speaker 1: car you should drive, the neighborhood you should live in,
12:45
Speaker 1: who you should date, what your kids should do, where
12:47
Speaker 1: your kids should work, where your kids should go to school.
12:50
Speaker 1: I mean, everyone's got their plans for your life. And
12:53
Speaker 1: at some point you gotta wake up and ask yourself,
12:55
Speaker 1: am I living up God's plan with my life? Or
12:58
Speaker 1: am I living out somebody else's plan for my life?
13:02
Speaker 1: And so some people I talked about in the book
13:05
Speaker 1: the Story of Andrea Agassy Well in his memoir I
13:08
Speaker 1: think he came out in two thousand nine reveals that
13:13
Speaker 1: he didn't really love tennis, and you're going, how is
13:15
Speaker 1: one of the greatest tennis players of all time? How
13:18
Speaker 1: does he not like tennant? And he goes on to say,
13:21
Speaker 1: my dad like tennis, and and so here you and
13:26
Speaker 1: I and again, I just hope that nobody ever wakes
13:29
Speaker 1: up realizing they've been living out somebody else's passion, somebody
13:33
Speaker 1: else's dream. I can't tell you how many times I've
13:35
Speaker 1: sat would stay at home moms who are now entrepreneurs,
13:39
Speaker 1: and when they first had the ability to stay at
13:42
Speaker 1: home because their husbands paid enough money for them to
13:44
Speaker 1: do so, people would say to them, you're living a dream,
13:48
Speaker 1: You're living a dream, and they would be going, whose dream?
13:52
Speaker 1: Whose dream? That might be your dream? But who who
13:56
Speaker 1: said that it's my dream? And so there can be
13:59
Speaker 1: some of some thing is that we all have of Oh,
14:01
Speaker 1: they've got it made, they they've they've got it good
14:05
Speaker 1: because of X, Y and Z. But that doesn't mean
14:08
Speaker 1: that that's something that they actually want it. And so
14:11
Speaker 1: so those are things that I think we all have
14:12
Speaker 1: to navigate ourselves to go, Okay, is this something that
14:15
Speaker 1: is a true desire of my heart? To do or
14:18
Speaker 1: am I doing it because someone else has either pressured
14:21
Speaker 1: me to do it or that was just part of
14:23
Speaker 1: the expectation. I can't tell you how many business owners
14:27
Speaker 1: are just doing the family business just because it's the
14:31
Speaker 1: family business and haven't paused long enough to go what
14:36
Speaker 1: else would you do? And there was so much pressure
14:38
Speaker 1: on them from a very early age that you're going
14:40
Speaker 1: to take this business. In some cases, you're gonna take
14:43
Speaker 1: this church, You're going to take this of this medical practice,
14:48
Speaker 1: you're going to take this family law. You're and so
14:52
Speaker 1: that that can bring about tremendous pressure of going You've
14:55
Speaker 1: already filled in a blank with my future. And so
14:58
Speaker 1: some people don't feel the permission to start over and
15:01
Speaker 1: have a clean slate. And I like to just tell
15:03
Speaker 1: them who's making those rules? And you know, you're in
15:07
Speaker 1: your thirties and forties, I'm pretty sure you get to
15:09
Speaker 1: make a decision about what you want to do in
15:11
Speaker 1: your life. Well, you know, it's really interesting because I
15:13
Speaker 1: would like to share and be honest about, you know,
15:15
Speaker 1: characterization and examples, you know, chasing failure. I'm talking to
15:20
Speaker 1: Ryan Leek how falling shorts set you up for success.
15:23
Speaker 1: I know that early on in my life. You know,
15:26
Speaker 1: my degree is in mathematics, marning, sociology. But I was
15:29
Speaker 1: very talented stand up did everything, deaf comedy, jam did
15:32
Speaker 1: the t common view everything, you know, so one that
15:35
Speaker 1: shared stage with everybody from Dave Chappelle to Chris Rock
15:38
Speaker 1: to Martin Lawrence. But that wasn't my goal. That wasn't
15:43
Speaker 1: my I just God just gave me that talent. But
15:45
Speaker 1: everybody saw that as my own game. And so when
15:48
Speaker 1: I went to manage Steve Harvey, people were questioning that decision.
15:52
Speaker 1: I was very happy, but people were questioning that. I
15:55
Speaker 1: told this is what I want to do. I love
15:57
Speaker 1: being behind the camera. God gave me a gift to
15:59
Speaker 1: being other the camera. I actually love being behind the camera.
16:02
Speaker 1: And I point that out because that's a that was
16:05
Speaker 1: That's a blatant example even though I went out to
16:06
Speaker 1: pursue the career as a stand up comedian. That was
16:09
Speaker 1: my exit plan from MYBM But that wasn't my end plan.
16:12
Speaker 1: And so sometimes people only see what they see. And
16:16
Speaker 1: if you have a plan, like you said in your
16:17
Speaker 1: thurs and forties, you should be in the position to
16:19
Speaker 1: make your own decisions. And that's really important. And a
16:23
Speaker 1: lot of these examples of whether you whether you're financially
16:26
Speaker 1: success or that's how to your popularity. That decision of
16:30
Speaker 1: where you go your end game is really tied to
16:34
Speaker 1: you correct right facts. Absolutely. I think people sometimes just
16:40
Speaker 1: get stuck and other people's plans because it's more comfortable.
16:44
Speaker 1: You won't get as much criticism. You can acquiesce to
16:48
Speaker 1: the status quo because no one will bother you, you think.
16:54
Speaker 1: But I think. I think the world has been given
17:02
Speaker 1: the greatest inventions, the greatest innovations from people that stepped
17:06
Speaker 1: out and took risk. So I just encourage people, Hey, if, if,
17:11
Speaker 1: if you can take a calculated risk, I'm not, I'm not.
17:16
Speaker 1: It's chasing failure, it's not chasing foolishness, right, So, but
17:21
Speaker 1: taking calculated risks, yeah, I think you should. I think
17:25
Speaker 1: you should do a lot of math and if math
17:28
Speaker 1: makes sense, go ahead and go for him. You should
17:31
Speaker 1: make a move. Every year, compliance regulations change thousands of times,
17:35
Speaker 1: and every year ADP makes thousands of seamless platform updates,
17:39
Speaker 1: so businesses can focus on everything else like running their business.
17:43
Speaker 1: Grow stronger with ADP HR talent, time and payroll. Look
17:48
Speaker 1: to your children's eyes to see the true magic of
17:50
Speaker 1: a forest. It's a storybook world for them. You look
17:54
Speaker 1: and see a tree. They see the wrinkled face of
17:57
Speaker 1: a wizard with arms outstretched to this I. They see
18:01
Speaker 1: treasure and pebbles. They see a windy path that could
18:04
Speaker 1: lead to adventure, and they see you. They're fearless. Guide.
18:08
Speaker 1: Is this fascinating world? Find a forest near you and
18:11
Speaker 1: start exploring and discover the forest dot org brought to
18:14
Speaker 1: you by the United States Forest Service and the ad Council.
18:18
Speaker 1: Adoption of teams from foster care is a topic not
18:21
Speaker 1: enough people know about, and we're here to change that.
18:23
Speaker 1: I'm April Dinuity, host of the new podcast Navigating Adoption,
18:27
Speaker 1: presented by adopt us Kids. Each episode brings you compelling,
18:30
Speaker 1: real life adoption stories told by the families that lived them,
18:33
Speaker 1: with commentary from experts. Visit adopt us Kids dot org,
18:37
Speaker 1: slash podcast, or subscribe to Navigating Adoption presented by adopt
18:41
Speaker 1: us Kids, brought to you by the U. S Department
18:43
Speaker 1: of Health, that Human Services Administration for Children and Families,
18:46
Speaker 1: and the ad Council. You know the interesting thing about it,
18:49
Speaker 1: Like I shared my story about my relationship with how
18:53
Speaker 1: as a stand up comedy. I decided to go and
18:56
Speaker 1: become a writer and a very successful producer and marketing
19:00
Speaker 1: and branding expert um, even though that wasn't my end game. Now,
19:04
Speaker 1: in your book, you share that what I felt was
19:07
Speaker 1: a very funny story was your NBA ride experience. And
19:11
Speaker 1: I say it was funny because that was a that
19:13
Speaker 1: was a that was a goal, but the way you
19:15
Speaker 1: approached it and how you pursued it was what is
19:19
Speaker 1: I think it's really what this book is all about.
19:23
Speaker 1: You know, you know, you know, emailing NBA teams randomly,
19:27
Speaker 1: emailing them right random, random and that right there when
19:32
Speaker 1: people say you shouldn't do that, but you're chasing failure
19:34
Speaker 1: because you're achieving success. Let's talk about that in the
19:38
Speaker 1: reality of people saying no to you, telling you that
19:42
Speaker 1: doesn't make any sense. And we hear that a lot
19:44
Speaker 1: about inventions. We hear a lot about free agents who
19:48
Speaker 1: make NFL teams. We have people who leave leave school
19:51
Speaker 1: early to pursue a career professionally, all going to a
19:54
Speaker 1: college while you're going to HBCU when you can go
19:57
Speaker 1: to our Harvard and achieving. Now we have a vice
20:00
Speaker 1: president of the United States, so these are the things
20:02
Speaker 1: that we hear all the time. But your pursuit of
20:04
Speaker 1: an NBA opportunity a tryout is is dynamic and very
20:10
Speaker 1: entertaining from a from a writer's standpoint, but from a
20:12
Speaker 1: personal it was a passion. Let's talk about that well
20:16
Speaker 1: that I think whenever you're trying to do something, people
20:19
Speaker 1: are always going to have their opinions about what you're
20:21
Speaker 1: trying to do, and you can't let that cloud your goal.
20:25
Speaker 1: And you also have to realize, for me, you know,
20:29
Speaker 1: trying to get an NBA workout via email, but it's
20:33
Speaker 1: not an agree with my naysayers, like that's not a
20:39
Speaker 1: great idea, That's fine, I'm still going to do it
20:42
Speaker 1: because I don't have anything else and I'm chasing failure.
20:48
Speaker 1: And so what's the worst that can actually happen? A
20:52
Speaker 1: they don't respond at all, be they say no or
20:56
Speaker 1: see they say yes. Those are the options, and you
21:01
Speaker 1: won't know which of those options you're gonna get if
21:04
Speaker 1: you do nothing right. And so I think so many
21:07
Speaker 1: people are afraid of the word no, but it's just
21:10
Speaker 1: a two letter word no. I just said it, no, no, no,
21:16
Speaker 1: And so I think so many people can get devastated
21:20
Speaker 1: by the word no. But it just means no. Right,
21:25
Speaker 1: you gotta keep moving, right, I know that you know
21:28
Speaker 1: growing up, you know how a friend of mine, he said,
21:31
Speaker 1: Rishon just no, he would ask every girl in the
21:33
Speaker 1: dance club. In the nightclub to dance, he said, said,
21:36
Speaker 1: he said, may Ris, no, he's not gonna shoot me. No,
21:38
Speaker 1: it's not gonna turn me there. But when he said yes,
21:41
Speaker 1: I'm winning. And so he was chasing failure by asking
21:45
Speaker 1: all these different women who may or may not udate him.
21:48
Speaker 1: But when he got there, yes, he won. And so
21:50
Speaker 1: that simple example, right, there's what we're talking about in life. Correct.
21:55
Speaker 1: But but but, but the ultimate thing when you talk
21:57
Speaker 1: about this book is the you know when you said,
22:00
Speaker 1: at what moment did you find your why? What advice
22:02
Speaker 1: can you give others looking to find theirs? Because I
22:06
Speaker 1: don't know if I found my why. I'll be honest
22:08
Speaker 1: with you, Ryan, because I'm always moving, to moving the
22:11
Speaker 1: needle for the next opportunity. But I do know that
22:14
Speaker 1: my why is that I'm living the life that I
22:17
Speaker 1: want to live. I left I be. You know, I
22:19
Speaker 1: have a degree in mathematics. You know, I have a
22:22
Speaker 1: family that I'm happy to call my wife and my
22:25
Speaker 1: daughter and my my the staff that works around me
22:28
Speaker 1: support me. The building of that bought is the building
22:31
Speaker 1: of my dreams, the call by dreams that that may
22:33
Speaker 1: be the why. But again, what what advice can you
22:37
Speaker 1: give the others looking for theirs? And how do they
22:39
Speaker 1: find it? Yeah? I think finding your why is a journey.
22:44
Speaker 1: I don't know that there's a prime age to to
22:46
Speaker 1: get it or a prime season, but when you get it,
22:49
Speaker 1: you will change your life. And for me, I found
22:52
Speaker 1: my why. I was working at a church. I was
22:55
Speaker 1: on our executive team, and so I was helping manage
22:58
Speaker 1: a lot of different systems at a at a large
23:01
Speaker 1: church in Dallas, And I was twenty twenty nine years old,
23:04
Speaker 1: and I was doing a speaking gig talking about chasing
23:07
Speaker 1: failure um at a at at a at a corporate engagement,
23:12
Speaker 1: and the person that brought me in was like, hey,
23:14
Speaker 1: I want you to know your story. You know, literally
23:17
Speaker 1: pulled a boy off the ground and literally he was
23:21
Speaker 1: living in a crack house on the ground and and
23:25
Speaker 1: and she said, hey, you know, we disapprove of our
23:28
Speaker 1: daughter's boyfriend. And that was his kid. It was his kid,
23:31
Speaker 1: but he does love basketball. We showed him your documentary
23:34
Speaker 1: and now he's applying for jobs. He called his mom
23:36
Speaker 1: for the first time. You know he's gonna be playing
23:38
Speaker 1: sports and a junior college as fall like you pulled
23:41
Speaker 1: somebody's life off the ground. Until for me, that was
23:45
Speaker 1: the day I got my why and it and I
23:47
Speaker 1: enjoyed my twenties, but that gave my thirties a whole
23:51
Speaker 1: new purpose. And I said, I want to spend the
23:52
Speaker 1: rest of my life helping pull people's lives off the floor.
23:55
Speaker 1: In every room I walk in, I want to add value.
23:58
Speaker 1: And so that's the filter in which I lived my life.
24:00
Speaker 1: That's my why. Is this adding value to the most
24:04
Speaker 1: people that I possibly can with the twenty four hours
24:07
Speaker 1: I've been given today? And so I'm going, I'm on
24:10
Speaker 1: your show right now, processing through how can I add
24:13
Speaker 1: value to your viewers and your listeners. I write a book,
24:16
Speaker 1: and I think who could pick up this book and
24:18
Speaker 1: is it going to add value to their life? And
24:21
Speaker 1: so when you have a why, it creates a filtration
24:24
Speaker 1: system for you to decide what you say yes to
24:26
Speaker 1: you and what you say no to to go does
24:29
Speaker 1: it does it serve? Does it serve my life? I'm
24:32
Speaker 1: not going to judge your why because some people's why
24:35
Speaker 1: is money, and that that's kind of what. Hey, I'm
24:38
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make as much money as I possibly can.
24:41
Speaker 1: For some people, I'm trying to make the greatest impact.
24:44
Speaker 1: For some people, it's I'm trying to have as much
24:46
Speaker 1: satisfaction as I possibly can. Everybody has a different why,
24:51
Speaker 1: and your why is your why. But when you don't
24:54
Speaker 1: have one, I think you you should be asking yourself
24:57
Speaker 1: the question why am I doing it? And sometimes it's
25:00
Speaker 1: just pausing at some of us are moving out a
25:02
Speaker 1: pace that's so fast we haven't even paused long enough
25:05
Speaker 1: to go why am I doing it? Well? Why why
25:10
Speaker 1: am I? They're just moving? What's nice? What's next? What's next?
25:14
Speaker 1: So what I encourage a person to do is to pause.
25:17
Speaker 1: It's to pause. Sometimes that's an hour, sometimes it's a day,
25:20
Speaker 1: sometimes it's a week. Sometimes somebody needs to just go
25:22
Speaker 1: sit on a beach or sit under a cabana and
25:25
Speaker 1: just go what am I doing my life? And why
25:30
Speaker 1: am I doing that? And is that a why I
25:34
Speaker 1: can live with? Because for some people who are going,
25:36
Speaker 1: they're doing it for the money. But I know a
25:38
Speaker 1: lot of people who make a lot of money, but
25:42
Speaker 1: they're so busy making the money they never even get
25:45
Speaker 1: to spend. I know people that have thirty apartments that
25:49
Speaker 1: they're never in and it's going. I mean, maybe that's true.
25:56
Speaker 1: Why one person could be a lawyer for the money.
25:58
Speaker 1: Another person could be a lawyer for the justice system.
26:01
Speaker 1: You or why is your why? But your why should
26:04
Speaker 1: be something that gets you out of bed in the
26:07
Speaker 1: morning and one that you can live with. We know
26:09
Speaker 1: it's important that you say that when I when I
26:11
Speaker 1: when I listened to your talk, you know, when you
26:13
Speaker 1: used to added value because I always try to explain
26:16
Speaker 1: to people that you know, your early years eighteen or
26:19
Speaker 1: twenty five is when you define what you want to
26:21
Speaker 1: do with your life. You know, that's when you here,
26:23
Speaker 1: That's when you I guess you, like you said earlier,
26:25
Speaker 1: there's less fear. Your dreams are bigger, they're reachable because
26:29
Speaker 1: guess what, they're your dreams. You know, nobody's told you
26:32
Speaker 1: you could fail. When you're eighteen, you're just walking out there.
26:35
Speaker 1: And so when I got into my forties was when
26:37
Speaker 1: I took responsibility of my life. When I say that,
26:40
Speaker 1: I mean admitted that this is my I guess you
26:42
Speaker 1: can say my why. And when I look back when
26:44
Speaker 1: I was eighteen, I realized that all my life, I've
26:48
Speaker 1: been adding value to people, you know, whether it was
26:50
Speaker 1: whether it was tutoring people who was who needed tutoring,
26:53
Speaker 1: whether it was during events, whether it was pleasing my
26:55
Speaker 1: fraternity in college, which changed my whole perspective on life
26:59
Speaker 1: within the community to uplift the whole process. The sitcoms
27:02
Speaker 1: that I wrote, the tours that I did, it was
27:05
Speaker 1: always about making people feel good and it wasn't really
27:07
Speaker 1: about the money. And even the sitcoms of the shows
27:10
Speaker 1: I took, whether it was Sister Sister, whether it's Jamie
27:12
Speaker 1: Foxx Show, whether it was The Parkers, whether it was
27:14
Speaker 1: Robert Townsend show, Uh Doing Family Feud or the Steve
27:18
Speaker 1: Harvey talk Show, it was all about uplifting African Americans
27:21
Speaker 1: and showing us in a positive life and not the
27:24
Speaker 1: meaning the principles that we want to be. We just
27:26
Speaker 1: want to fit in, We just want to be appreciated with.
27:29
Speaker 1: And I guess when I bring that up right now,
27:31
Speaker 1: because when you talk about the why, when you talk
27:34
Speaker 1: about defining yourself, that's why it's important to read a
27:37
Speaker 1: book like this, because sometimes you can walk through life
27:40
Speaker 1: not really understanding your value. But certain words like adding value,
27:45
Speaker 1: which I've never used in my life. By the way, Ryan,
27:48
Speaker 1: until read it in this book and heard you spoke it,
27:52
Speaker 1: speak it on my show really locked in exactly who
27:56
Speaker 1: I am. And when I read it, I went wow.
27:59
Speaker 1: I got off to this guy because and I was
28:02
Speaker 1: talking to Tristan, you know, my director of one of
28:04
Speaker 1: my EPs on the show Money Making Conversations, and he
28:06
Speaker 1: was saying he was asking me because I got two copies.
28:09
Speaker 1: He said I should I read? I said, yeah, as
28:11
Speaker 1: you should read the book. He said why? I said,
28:12
Speaker 1: because you know you go through life and it will
28:15
Speaker 1: reinforce some of your values or something. The things you
28:18
Speaker 1: were doing and added adding value to people's lives is
28:22
Speaker 1: what I do. Yeah. And can I say this, If
28:29
Speaker 1: you want to make money in this world, every room
28:34
Speaker 1: you walk in, think to yourself, how can I add
28:38
Speaker 1: value to the error? If you do that the rest
28:40
Speaker 1: of your life, you will always make money because you
28:43
Speaker 1: will always be coming up if idea is that add
28:46
Speaker 1: value to the room. And sometimes you have to ask
28:48
Speaker 1: the room what would add the most value? What is
28:51
Speaker 1: it that people need? What is a problem that everybody
28:55
Speaker 1: continues to have. If you can come up with solutions
28:58
Speaker 1: that add value to solve those problem, you will always
29:02
Speaker 1: be making money in some way, shape or form. If
29:05
Speaker 1: you walk into every job that you have and though,
29:07
Speaker 1: how can I add value to our customers? How can
29:09
Speaker 1: I add value to my leader? How can I add
29:11
Speaker 1: value to the CEO? How can I add value to
29:14
Speaker 1: my director, my regional manager, you name it. If you're
29:17
Speaker 1: constantly thinking about addict value, you will always be making money.
29:21
Speaker 1: You know. I want to I want to close on
29:22
Speaker 1: this statement from you because it's a really good question.
29:24
Speaker 1: I had my questions and you were sitting I was
29:26
Speaker 1: sending questions by sure for the interview, and one of
29:29
Speaker 1: the questions I have to ask it's like, how do
29:32
Speaker 1: you network within your failures? From I say that is
29:34
Speaker 1: that I thought that was the most important question that
29:37
Speaker 1: that I needed to get asked after this interview, because
29:40
Speaker 1: failure stops us. Failure chams us, failure stops us from
29:44
Speaker 1: actually pursuing our dream. Because I fail, I'm not gonna
29:48
Speaker 1: try it again. And so how does one network within
29:51
Speaker 1: their failures to achieve their goals? On it? On it,
29:59
Speaker 1: on it, walk in the room. Man, I failed, haven't you? You? You?
30:04
Speaker 1: You have you ever walked in a room full of
30:06
Speaker 1: perfect people? I haven't. And so yeah, all of us
30:09
Speaker 1: can walk in a room and networking event you feel like, well,
30:12
Speaker 1: let me just be hid, let me hide my shame,
30:15
Speaker 1: let me I don't want them to know that I failed.
30:17
Speaker 1: I don't want them to know that I've made some mistakes.
30:20
Speaker 1: But the common denominator amongst us all is that we
30:23
Speaker 1: all have failures. We all have mistakes. So be the
30:27
Speaker 1: first one in the room to own it and just go, yeah,
30:30
Speaker 1: I failed. What's the difference. I just owned it, and
30:35
Speaker 1: I owned it with a smile on my face. And
30:37
Speaker 1: typically what happens when you own at first, somebody else
30:40
Speaker 1: goes second. In fact, when you own your own failures,
30:43
Speaker 1: you give permission in space for others to fail. And
30:46
Speaker 1: that's what a lot of people I think missed is.
30:49
Speaker 1: Failure has this ability to isolate you and put you
30:52
Speaker 1: on this mental island where you feel like you're the
30:54
Speaker 1: only one that's ever failed. That's just not true. You're
31:00
Speaker 1: in a very very long line. There's a lot of
31:03
Speaker 1: people in front of you, and there's a lot of
31:05
Speaker 1: people behind you, and so I think even in networking,
31:09
Speaker 1: I think you just you just got to own it.
31:10
Speaker 1: Are there going to be some people that look down
31:13
Speaker 1: on you. Yeah, that's just because they haven't been able
31:16
Speaker 1: to admit their own failures out loud either, And so
31:19
Speaker 1: on some level or another, you've got to own it
31:22
Speaker 1: and take lessons from your past failures. Are going. Hey,
31:25
Speaker 1: I don't want to fail the same way over and
31:27
Speaker 1: over again. I'm taking notes and I'm getting better, but
31:30
Speaker 1: I'm gonna own up to the fact that I've made
31:32
Speaker 1: some mistakes and that I fail. I am human, But
31:35
Speaker 1: I am getting back on the horse and I'm moving off.
31:38
Speaker 1: Whether the beauty of this conversation is our conversation that
31:41
Speaker 1: we had today, Ryan, It's not about the money. It's
31:43
Speaker 1: about you. It's about adding value yourself, uh, seeing yourself
31:48
Speaker 1: through failures, owning that failure, and then finding how you
31:51
Speaker 1: can achieve success from that failure. And but more importantly,
31:55
Speaker 1: is not position yourself by saying no to an opportunity
32:00
Speaker 1: that you haven't even pursued. And an example I want
32:04
Speaker 1: to give it was always always stuck in my mind
32:06
Speaker 1: because your book is full of examples, and I don't
32:08
Speaker 1: want to give away these fantastic examples, so I can
32:10
Speaker 1: take examples from my life. It was this comedy club
32:13
Speaker 1: in the Boston here called Stevie D's. It was packed,
32:15
Speaker 1: was Thursday night. He don't do comedy on Thursday night
32:18
Speaker 1: and uh, and you go in there and it was
32:21
Speaker 1: a picture of every major celebrity in the world on
32:26
Speaker 1: the wall. It was like stunning to me. How did
32:30
Speaker 1: this guy get all these there was autographed to TV Stevie,
32:34
Speaker 1: Stevie Stevie. And one day I sat down and said,
32:36
Speaker 1: that's a that's a that's a Stevie. Can I ask
32:39
Speaker 1: you a questions? Do you know these people? Nope? I said,
32:44
Speaker 1: So how did you get there? He said, I just emailed.
32:46
Speaker 1: I just mailed back. Then with mailing, he said, I
32:49
Speaker 1: just mailed him, asked him he could give me an
32:51
Speaker 1: autograph photo of themselves and sign it to me, and
32:54
Speaker 1: I just put it on the wall. So everybody who
32:56
Speaker 1: comes to the club thinks I know all these people.
32:59
Speaker 1: I said, out and that's the example. Fast forward. That's
33:02
Speaker 1: you emailing the NBA teams asking for a tryout, and
33:08
Speaker 1: then it happened. And guess what you learned something about
33:11
Speaker 1: your life? You added value to your life. And it
33:13
Speaker 1: also writes you on the course of where you should
33:15
Speaker 1: be taking your life. And so those two examples or
33:18
Speaker 1: examples of don't say no to yourself without pursuing the opportunity. Correct. Absolutely,
33:25
Speaker 1: I love that. I appreciate you man. Thank you for
33:27
Speaker 1: coming to Money Make Conversations. Great book man Chasing Failure,
33:31
Speaker 1: How falling short sets you up for success? By my man,
33:35
Speaker 1: Ryan Leek, keep winning And I know you're in Dallas.
33:37
Speaker 1: I'm a Houston boy. I'm gonna let you off the hook. Okay,
33:42
Speaker 1: appreciate you. If you want to hear see any of
33:44
Speaker 1: my Money Making Conversation interviews, please go to Money Making
33:47
Speaker 1: Conversation dot com. I'm with Sean McDonald. I am your host.
33:53
Speaker 1: In this season of giving, Cools has gifts for all
33:56
Speaker 1: your loved ones. For those who like to keep it cozy,
33:59
Speaker 1: find Flee Says sweaters, loungeware, blankets and throws, or support
34:03
Speaker 1: minority owned or founded brands by giving gifts from Human
34:06
Speaker 1: Nation and Shame Moisture and in the spirit of giving,
34:10
Speaker 1: Coals Cares is donating eight million dollars to local nonprofits nationwide.
34:15
Speaker 1: Give with all your heart this season with great gifts
34:18
Speaker 1: from Coals or coals dot com. What girls in the forest,
34:22
Speaker 1: our imagination and our family bonds. The forest is closer
34:27
Speaker 1: than you think. Find a forest near you and discover
34:30
Speaker 1: the forest dot Org. Brought to you by the United
34:32
Speaker 1: States for Service and the AD Council. A man called
34:38
Speaker 1: Los Miller of the eighty five South showing to many favors.
34:41
Speaker 1: Make sure you check out The Black Market, hostly by
34:44
Speaker 1: me only on the eighty five South Show. Fee Subscribe
34:47
Speaker 1: to the eighty five South Show to hear and tune
34:50
Speaker 1: into the Black Market. Here amazing interviews with entrepreneurs, creatives,
34:54
Speaker 1: and thought leadership people who are doing amazing things in
34:57
Speaker 1: the black community. Listen to The Like Market on I
35:01
Speaker 1: Heart Radio, app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
35:06
Speaker 1: M HM