Latest / The Lila Rose Show / E178: Getting Real About Gen Z Struggles w/ Amber-Rose (The Religious Hippie)

Transcript

E178: Getting Real About Gen Z Struggles w/ Amber-Rose (The Religious Hippie) · The Lila Rose Show

• 0:00
  So you just stopped going to mass?
• 0:01
  Yeah, all together, just completely stopped cold Turkey
• 0:04
  basically. When I came back into my faith
• 0:06
  at that point, I'd been struggling, self harm, eating
• 0:09
  disorders, depression, anxiety, paranoia, like just so many
• 0:12
  things. Basically coming back into my
• 0:14
  faith was a last resort type of thing.
• 0:16
  And I felt Jesus speak into my heart as he was being raised.
• 0:19
  It was almost like a pulsating light.
• 0:21
  And he said, do you trust me? And I said no, like, are you
• 0:25
  kidding? Like I've been through so much.
• 0:27
  When you give God an inch, he will take a mile, but you have
• 0:31
  to give him the inch. You have to give him the inch.
• 0:33
  Yes. Hey guys, welcome back to the
• 0:37
  Lila Rose Show. I'm sitting down today with
• 0:40
  Amber Rose. No, she's not my sister or my
• 0:43
  family member, but she is my sister in Christ and she goes by
• 0:46
  the religious hippie online. She has a YouTube channel.
• 0:48
  She is a Catholic communicator for Gen.
• 0:50
  Z and has an amazing story to share about her own life as well
• 0:53
  as amazing content that she's creating every single day.
• 0:55
  So you were just saying how you were talking with Father Ambrose
• 0:58
  and you're interviewing him about exorcisms and your
• 1:01
  computer broke? Yeah, so he's an exorcist.
• 1:03
  We were talking about angels and like how people are sometimes
• 1:07
  more obsessed with the demonic than they they are the good of
• 1:10
  of things. And yeah, we brought our
• 1:12
  microphone and the the lights. There was something about the
• 1:15
  lights. And then the microphone wasn't
• 1:17
  working anymore, so we had to record on his laptop microphone
• 1:20
  in a very echoey room. So yeah, when you when you, it's
• 1:25
  really hard when you try to interview an exorcist because
• 1:28
  anything that can go wrong will go wrong because the demons will
• 1:32
  try to prevent you from interviewing them.
• 1:34
  And it it made for an entertaining podcast, though, I
• 1:37
  will say that. You know, I didn't even think
• 1:38
  about that because I interviewed him about angels and demons and
• 1:41
  then about other topics. But I'm trying to remember if it
• 1:44
  was really hard, the interview process.
• 1:46
  I think I do remember I had a splitting headache during a lot
• 1:49
  of that, but it might have been because I wasn't drinking enough
• 1:51
  water. I don't want to blame the don't
• 1:53
  give the devil too much credit for that one.
• 1:55
  Yeah, he's just like, oh, don't drink, don't drink water, Lila,
• 1:58
  I've. Taught you that because it was
• 2:00
  the devil. It's so.
• 2:02
  Funny though too, because it really will be like the most
• 2:05
  random things. You just be like chunk
• 2:08
  something. It'll be the most random things
• 2:11
  that you'll just be, you know, talking and then all of a sudden
• 2:14
  the power goes out or all of a sudden you lose Internet
• 2:17
  connection for no reason. And I've had that happen
• 2:20
  multiple times where it's just kind of like maybe we should say
• 2:23
  in our father and then we do, it clears right up.
• 2:25
  Speaking of that, how about we say that in our Father now?
• 2:27
  Yeah, let's do that, OK? And we can just invite people to
• 2:30
  join us as the Catholic communicator herself.
• 2:32
  She can lead us. Yes, in the name of the Father,
• 2:34
  and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, Amen.
• 2:36
  Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, Thy
• 2:39
  Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
• 2:42
  Give us this day Our Daily Bread and forgive us our trespasses as
• 2:45
  we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into
• 2:48
  temptation, but the deliver us from evil.
• 2:50
  Amen, Amen, Amen. Thanks, Amber.
• 2:52
  Of course. All right, so I am curious and
• 2:56
  you know, you've shared some of this online, but I want folks
• 2:58
  listening to know some of your story.
• 3:00
  You are out there communicating the faith to many people online
• 3:04
  and doing a beautiful job of it. I get to see it sometimes pop up
• 3:07
  in my feet. I'm like this girl.
• 3:08
  She's lovely. She's Orthodox, she's sharing it
• 3:11
  boldly counter culturally because a lot of the culture is
• 3:14
  so confused. But how did you get into that's
• 3:18
  What was the inspiration? I mean it, it kind of starts,
• 3:22
  you know, I was born and raised Catholic and my father was
• 3:26
  raised going to the traditional Latin Mass.
• 3:28
  And so that is something he wanted for his daughters was to
• 3:31
  be raised in something beautiful and something that would honor
• 3:34
  his mother who brought him to the TLM.
• 3:37
  So I was raised in the TLMI, was raised veiling, wearing skirts
• 3:41
  and long dresses to go to Mass, you know, very modest, very
• 3:45
  nice. Obviously I, I hated it.
• 3:46
  I was just like, I don't like this thing on my head, whatever.
• 3:50
  But it was, it was really great 'cause we'd go to Mass and then
• 3:52
  we'd go out to eat as a family. And then, you know, Sundays were
• 3:56
  just relaxation, enjoying family time.
• 3:59
  So that was my background in Catholicism was just, you know,
• 4:02
  it was a family time. We went to the TLM, we knew the
• 4:05
  priests. I was in the children's choir.
• 4:08
  In 2011, we fell away from the faith because of all the sex
• 4:11
  scandals that were kind of going around at that time.
• 4:14
  And it was very difficult for my family to know how to approach
• 4:17
  those and how to handle them. So instead they they kind of
• 4:21
  took us out of the church. So you just stopped going to
• 4:24
  mass? Yeah, all together just
• 4:26
  completely stopped cold Turkey basically.
• 4:28
  And I mean, granted, when I was a kid, I didn't like Mass
• 4:32
  anyways. I hated going because it meant I
• 4:35
  couldn't sleep over at my friends houses.
• 4:37
  It meant that, you know, Sundays weren't just like, oh, I can
• 4:41
  just relax. You know, I have to go to Mass
• 4:42
  for an hour. I can't text my friends during
• 4:44
  Mass. And you know, as a teenager, at
• 4:47
  more preteen, I guess I was about 12 at that time.
• 4:51
  I I really was OK with not going to mass anymore because I was
• 4:53
  like, it's so boring. We always sit in the back.
• 4:55
  There's nothing going on. I can't understand him, you
• 4:57
  know, we have to. Wear a doily on the head.
• 4:59
  Yes. And we always went to 730 AM
• 5:03
  Mass and we were about 3045 minutes from the church.
• 5:07
  So getting up at like 5:45 on a Sunday was not something I
• 5:12
  wanted to do. And yeah, so it kind of I felt
• 5:16
  like it was a type of freedom to be able to escape from like all
• 5:21
  the rigid rules that the church imposed.
• 5:24
  Did you still practice a kind of faith at home?
• 5:26
  Were you kind of becoming Protestant?
• 5:29
  Or. Was Jesus like?
• 5:31
  Did you pray at meals? We did when I was younger, but
• 5:34
  then that stopped everything kind of just all the pillars
• 5:38
  just kind of got swept out from underneath my sister and me.
• 5:41
  We stopped praying together, we stopped saying grace at meals.
• 5:44
  We stopped eating together as a family.
• 5:46
  Were your parents just curious about that?
• 5:48
  That was your parents kind of traumatized by what had happened
• 5:53
  and did they know a priest personally that they found it
• 5:54
  was an abuser? Was there some personal
• 5:57
  connection that they had to the scandals that were unfolding?
• 6:00
  Yeah, they never knew anyone specifically, but because of the
• 6:04
  fear mongering, I don't think they knew how to handle the
• 6:07
  situation. They didn't know how to protect
• 6:11
  their kids too, because I mean, when all these priests come out
• 6:15
  to to, you know, are basically accused of these things.
• 6:19
  And even though I don't think we knew anyone specifically, it's
• 6:22
  like, how do you know, how do you trust somebody with your
• 6:25
  children? I mean, that's that's difficult.
• 6:27
  Now, luckily, we never had any issues at all like that at
• 6:30
  Kansas. But I think it made her kind of
• 6:33
  question everything. And they both didn't know how to
• 6:38
  handle it. So they thought the best thing
• 6:39
  would just be to remove until things calm down.
• 6:42
  But then we just never went back.
• 6:45
  So it became that. And so after, shortly after
• 6:50
  that, actually, I was exposed to pornography.
• 6:52
  And that started a very long, you know, addiction.
• 6:56
  And when I came back into my faith, you know, that was
• 7:01
  2019-2020. So I was about 20 years old.
• 7:04
  And at that point, I've been struggling with pornography
• 7:07
  addiction. Oh my gosh.
• 7:09
  There was so much self harm, eating disorders, depression,
• 7:13
  anxiety, paranoia, like just so many things.
• 7:16
  And being basically coming back into my faith was like a last
• 7:21
  resort type of thing. I kind of hit rock bottom and I
• 7:26
  was like, you know what, it's Sunday.
• 7:28
  I hadn't left my bed in a few days.
• 7:30
  I was really depressed. And I rolled over and I saw that
• 7:34
  on my calendar it was Sunday. And I was just like, Oh well,
• 7:37
  what did I usually do on a Sunday?
• 7:39
  And what we normally did was we went to Mass when I was a kid,
• 7:42
  you know, this was granted 8 years ago.
• 7:45
  But I was like, that was a happier time.
• 7:47
  And I decided, you know, well, maybe I'll go to Mass.
• 7:50
  And that's when I had my major reversion.
• 7:52
  And then this all happened. The ministry happened out of
• 7:56
  nowhere with my reversion. I went to church and I didn't
• 8:02
  know exactly why I went. I felt like I didn't belong
• 8:06
  there. I felt like I walked in there.
• 8:07
  I was a stranger. People.
• 8:09
  I convinced myself because of the paranoia that people knew I
• 8:12
  didn't belong there. And my head was just like
• 8:15
  screaming to get out because I was like, oh, I don't belong
• 8:18
  here. I'm not supposed to be here.
• 8:20
  People know I'm a Sinner. And of course at that time I
• 8:22
  didn't understand that the church is a hospital for sinners
• 8:26
  in a way. It's not just for the, the
• 8:29
  Saints, it's also for, you know, those trying to become Saints.
• 8:32
  So I, I, I kind of got it into my head that it's like, OK,
• 8:36
  during communion, when everyone goes up, I'm going to sneak out.
• 8:38
  Like I'm, I'm in too deep now because I'm in the middle of a
• 8:41
  Pew and people are on either sides of me.
• 8:42
  But when everyone goes up for communion, I'm going to sneak
• 8:44
  out. And the priest, he during
• 8:47
  consecration, when he lifted the host for transubstantiation, the
• 8:53
  time, time just froze. Everything around me just
• 8:55
  completely froze. And I was really confused.
• 8:59
  I'm like what is going on? I'm like, am I having a muscle
• 9:01
  breakdown? Like what's going on?
• 9:03
  And I felt Jesus speak into my heart as he was being raised.
• 9:06
  It was almost like AI don't know, like a pulsating light.
• 9:09
  And he said, do you trust me? And I said, no, Like, are you
• 9:14
  kidding? Like, I've been through so much.
• 9:16
  I mean, these people expose me to pornography.
• 9:19
  I've had an addiction forever. Like, you know, I've been in and
• 9:23
  out of relationships that were abusive.
• 9:25
  You know, I was basically just laying it all out there for God.
• 9:28
  I was just like, these are all the things that I blame you for.
• 9:31
  And unfortunately, you know, I kind of had a realization at
• 9:37
  that moment that I'm responsible in a way.
• 9:39
  I wasn't responsible for what was done to me, but I am
• 9:42
  responsible for how I handle it. And in that moment, I kind of
• 9:46
  felt a little bit of like, I guess understanding and being
• 9:51
  like, oh, like it is kind of my fault and acceptance in that a
• 9:55
  little bit. But then I was still like, no,
• 9:58
  though I don't trust you. And he, he just kept asking,
• 10:00
  he's like, do you trust me? Do you trust me?
• 10:02
  Kind of like a chisel, you know, and a little pic.
• 10:05
  And eventually he broke through and I said, OK, I'll try, you
• 10:09
  know, 'cause if you're, if you get pestered enough, you know,
• 10:12
  and thanks. God pestered me.
• 10:14
  That's a big deal. Like whatever.
• 10:17
  And you know, he eventually I felt like he chiseled away, you
• 10:20
  know, the stone cold parts of my heart eventually and he cracked
• 10:23
  through and I said I'll try. I said I will try.
• 10:26
  And that's all he really needed. I mean, that's all he needed to
• 10:30
  start kind of sweeping through my life and kind of taking
• 10:34
  things and making the bad into good, but then also forcing me
• 10:37
  to change my life and to kind of cleanse out the sin, which is
• 10:41
  very difficult, I might add. It's hard to, you know, kind of
• 10:45
  cleanse out everything you've ever known and you know, you've
• 10:48
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  Thank you. To encounter that you had a gift
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  from God, and I think God wants to give that gift to a lot more
• 11:47
  people if they're willing to put themselves in a position of
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  beginning to receive it. Because you went there even
• 11:52
  though you weren't sure why you were fully going to Mass, but
• 11:55
  you went there because you were at a rock bottom.
• 11:57
  What did it look like after you left that day?
• 11:59
  Like the the prayer, I will try to trust you again, opening the
• 12:03
  door a little more to God. And, and I always like I've seen
• 12:07
  this in my life in so many people's lives, when you give
• 12:09
  God an inch, he will take a mile, but you have to give him
• 12:13
  the inch. You have to give him the inch.
• 12:14
  Yeah, it's exactly that. I mean, we need to be open to
• 12:18
  His grace. And I think part of that was me
• 12:23
  finally being open to it. And when I left, I was sitting
• 12:27
  in my car and I decided I'm like, this is either an all in
• 12:30
  thing or not in at all. I was like, I can't just like
• 12:33
  half do this. It's either I'm going to commit
• 12:36
  my life to this and I'm going to be and try to be a St. and be
• 12:39
  like the best Catholic I can be. And at that time I didn't even
• 12:41
  know what that really meant. You know, I, I, I was poorly
• 12:44
  catechized despite the fact I was catechized at one of the
• 12:47
  best churches in the United States.
• 12:49
  And I was like, you know what, I'm going to be either all in or
• 12:52
  not at all. So that day actually, because I
• 12:55
  went to a morning mass, I came home.
• 12:58
  I didn't even change my clothes or anything.
• 13:00
  I just went right to my computer.
• 13:02
  I started researching Catholic answers and just like going on
• 13:06
  the websites and just trying to figure out what Catholicism
• 13:09
  really was. And I dove really deep into it.
• 13:13
  Not like in a, you know, in a way of like, Oh, I'm going to
• 13:18
  like, you know, you know, there's certain groups out there
• 13:20
  that are a little bit different. But I dove deep into just like
• 13:22
  tradition and the Bible and the Catechism and really understood
• 13:26
  what Catholicism was. And because of that, I started
• 13:31
  watching more, you know, Father Mike Schmitz, more Ascension
• 13:35
  presents in general, EWTN Relevant Radio.
• 13:39
  And it was really eye opening for me to learn that the things
• 13:44
  that I was constantly fighting against as a child were actually
• 13:47
  there to protect me. Confession wasn't this scary,
• 13:51
  horrifying thing. It was actually about mercy and
• 13:54
  forgiveness. And that was something I wasn't
• 13:56
  taught or it at least didn't resonate with me if I was taught
• 13:59
  that. And so that week, I mean, it
• 14:03
  took a couple months, but I purged my entire closet.
• 14:07
  I had like no clothes. And why, why, why were you
• 14:10
  purging your closet? I had a lot of scandalous
• 14:14
  clothing. I'm not just talking about like
• 14:16
  a tank top here there like a tube top because I don't, you
• 14:19
  know, I think they can be styled very well.
• 14:21
  I'm talking like sheer, like bralettes.
• 14:24
  I'm talking like bikinis and just like the the things that I
• 14:29
  would wear in order to get attention from men.
• 14:32
  And I was trained through that through pornography because it's
• 14:35
  about the aesthetics and things. So I learned that if I wanted to
• 14:39
  be loved, and this isn't true, but that that's what I learned
• 14:42
  is that I had to look a certain way.
• 14:44
  I had to be a certain weight. My hair had to be a certain, you
• 14:46
  know, length. It had to I had to certain
• 14:48
  makeup. And that was the reason for a
• 14:52
  lot of my eating disorders and things of that nature is I
• 14:55
  learned through pornography and through the people I was dating
• 14:59
  at the time that if I didn't look a certain way, if I didn't
• 15:02
  behave a certain way, I wouldn't be loved.
• 15:05
  Which is very toxic if you think about it.
• 15:09
  But as a 12 year old, how do you know any better?
• 15:11
  You know? It's toxic, but it's also, I
• 15:14
  think, the experience of so many women and girls.
• 15:17
  Yeah. And they might not even know
• 15:19
  that that's the reason that they feel anxious or that they
• 15:22
  struggle with their body image, that they are looking for love
• 15:25
  and affirmation and they think that they have to do these
• 15:27
  things to get it. Yes.
• 15:29
  And I think social media really exacerbated that.
• 15:33
  I got a phone when I was 13, I believe a smartphone.
• 15:37
  I had a flip phone here or there, but when I got my
• 15:40
  smartphone, I mean, it just it made everything worse.
• 15:44
  I mean, I followed social media stars that I, I grew up watching
• 15:48
  on Disney Channel or on Nickelodeon.
• 15:51
  And I would see how skinny they are that they can sing a certain
• 15:53
  way that their hair is like a certain way.
• 15:57
  You know, Britney Spears and Victoria Justice and Dove
• 16:00
  Cameron and all these people that I grew up watching on on TV
• 16:04
  and I wanted to look like them. I wanted to be like them because
• 16:08
  they were considered to be the most beautiful women, to be the
• 16:11
  the icon. That's what you want to look
• 16:13
  like. That's how you want to be
• 16:16
  perceived by other people. And so I would just try to
• 16:20
  change anything I could about myself to match what they were.
• 16:25
  And in in that way, I had so many insecurities knowing that
• 16:29
  this isn't truly who I am. I don't really look like that.
• 16:31
  I don't really feel like this. But social media has really just
• 16:36
  plagued the I mean, men deal with it a lot as well, but it
• 16:40
  really has just set these standards for women.
• 16:42
  Wear airbrushed skin, face tune, you know, photoshopped waists.
• 16:47
  And, you know, people follow these celebrities and they don't
• 16:50
  even realize that 90% of the stuff that's on social media is
• 16:53
  fake. So you're like throwing away
• 16:57
  clothes and reading Catholic Answers and listening to Father
• 17:02
  Mike Schmitz, which are great, you know, amazing.
• 17:05
  I mean, they're it's amazing what Catholic Answers and Father
• 17:07
  Mike Schmitz and Ascension Press have done for so many souls.
• 17:11
  It's really cool. It's really cool.
• 17:13
  So that's very beautiful that that was part of your, you know,
• 17:17
  sustenance. It was kind of, it was feeding
• 17:19
  you, giving you, giving you truth.
• 17:21
  What were dynamics like in your home because your parents had
• 17:25
  walked away from the faith because of the abuse scandals
• 17:27
  like you shared? You mentioned you have a sister.
• 17:30
  It sounds like you were a kind of living a certain way and now
• 17:35
  you're having this big change. Yeah, so at that point, my
• 17:39
  sister had moved out of the house.
• 17:41
  She was on her own faith journey in her own way.
• 17:45
  My parents didn't know that I converted or reverted or that I
• 17:49
  even went to church. Really.
• 17:52
  There were signs, of course. Were you?
• 17:54
  Living with them at the time. Yes, yeah, I was.
• 17:56
  But they. Were not really clued into what
• 17:58
  was going on. Not really, they knew I would
• 17:59
  like leave here or there and then after a while I noticed.
• 18:02
  Your change, your clothes changed.
• 18:04
  Yes, they caught on to that a little bit.
• 18:07
  I still had some issues with that because, you know, it's
• 18:10
  when it's so seeped into your life, you're like, oh, that's
• 18:13
  cute. But then you're like, Oh no, I
• 18:15
  can't wear that. So lots of returns to Target.
• 18:19
  And it's easy to be clueless too, because I mean, I, I
• 18:21
  remember in college, I had my first kind of before becoming
• 18:25
  Catholic, but I met with this woman who ended up becoming
• 18:27
  mentor, my spiritual director. And she was like, do you want
• 18:30
  to? I was like, I want to be a holy
• 18:32
  woman. She said, you want to be a holy
• 18:33
  woman? Can I be a straight shooter with
• 18:35
  you? And I was like, of course.
• 18:36
  And she's like, you can't keep wearing what you're wearing.
• 18:38
  And I was like wearing like cropped yoga shorts and like a
• 18:41
  tank top with the sports bra hanging like, you know, like
• 18:43
  typical Coed whatever for the time or the a lot of people and
• 18:49
  it but it took a lot of those aha moments.
• 18:51
  It wasn't just like, oh, I have to get rid.
• 18:52
  I can't wear this anymore. Well, what if I just style it
• 18:54
  differently? Like like this has to go.
• 18:56
  And some of them you kind of it's your style a little bit
• 18:59
  like, you know, I think you, you call yourself hippie religious.
• 19:02
  Like mine were a little more eclectic, a little more like
• 19:05
  bohemian. And unfortunately, a lot of that
• 19:07
  stuff is not modest. Yeah, especially the crocheted
• 19:11
  tops. The.
• 19:11
  Crocheted tops. They're so cute.
• 19:14
  They're so cute you can layer them.
• 19:16
  Yeah you can. I've put tank tops over them
• 19:18
  before. But I think also it's so
• 19:20
  important to have grace with yourself and to realize that
• 19:24
  it's not an overnight change. I made that mistake where I was
• 19:27
  like, OK, it has to be like overnight.
• 19:29
  I have to just have everything in order.
• 19:31
  I have to be a good Catholic, like overnight it just.
• 19:34
  Burned the crochet tie it was. Just like burn everything, take
• 19:37
  out the closet, throw it away. And honestly, I, I struggled
• 19:41
  with it. I didn't want to admit that, you
• 19:43
  know, I didn't want to admit that I was struggling to commit,
• 19:46
  but I knew it's what I wanted. But I didn't have, I wasn't
• 19:49
  giving myself the grace to understand.
• 19:51
  Like I haven't been in this for almost a decade.
• 19:54
  Like I am new to so much and I didn't have community, I didn't
• 19:59
  have support. Eventually my parents did, you
• 20:02
  know, find out and stuff, and they were fine with it.
• 20:04
  They didn't really care, you know, or they were like, oh,
• 20:06
  that's cool. And, you know, they're very
• 20:07
  supportive of the ministry, which is, which is really great,
• 20:10
  but I don't think it really affected them in any way.
• 20:14
  They they were just like, OK, that's cool.
• 20:16
  But my uncle came back to the faith.
• 20:18
  My grandparents started going back to the faith after Mass.
• 20:22
  Yeah. For the ministry and, and
• 20:26
  they're supporters of the ministry as well.
• 20:27
  And so that's that's really cool to see it affect the other
• 20:30
  family members who who might have fallen away or haven't been
• 20:33
  as devout maybe throughout their life.
• 20:36
  But yeah, I had to kind of give myself a little grace and
• 20:40
  realize, OK, this isn't an overnight change.
• 20:42
  Nothing's an overnight change. You know, you work out, you're
• 20:45
  not going to get rock hard ABS overnight.
• 20:47
  Although as many times as I would do like 12 push ups in my
• 20:49
  room and check my arm and be like, OK, is it there yet?
• 20:53
  This is just not the way the world works.
• 20:54
  You know, it's not how we were built.
• 20:56
  It takes forming habits. It takes time to really
• 21:00
  critically think about the clothes you're going to buy.
• 21:02
  Not just because it's a trend on Instagram or because your friend
• 21:07
  looks really great in a crop top, but her torso might be half
• 21:10
  the size of yours. So on her it looks like a normal
• 21:13
  top, but if you tried to wear it it'd be like up here.
• 21:16
  Honestly. So yeah, isn't it?
• 21:18
  Especially for women, because there's so much put into our
• 21:20
  appearance. Yes, and everything's different.
• 21:23
  A size 4 in a Jean is a size 16. It's somewhere else.
• 21:27
  It's such a good point, like what's modest on one woman or
• 21:30
  can be fine on one woman cannot work on another woman.
• 21:34
  And but sometimes you think you're the same womanish, like
• 21:37
  like you think you're kind of the same size and then you and
• 21:40
  but then you order the clothes and then you need to return.
• 21:42
  It's it's hard. It's and then you go to the the
• 21:44
  store and they don't have your size.
• 21:46
  The. Whole project is hard and then
• 21:48
  you want to also dress a style that you feel is authentic to
• 21:51
  you, but then you also want to make it, you know, tasteful,
• 21:56
  modest, all of that. Yeah, Oh my gosh.
• 21:59
  How do you Shard? What?
• 22:00
  Do you do I thrift? Yeah, which is so frustrating,
• 22:03
  though. It's frustrating because people
• 22:04
  will like be like, Oh my gosh, where'd you get that skirt?
• 22:06
  Where'd you get the top? And I'm like, I thrifted it.
• 22:08
  I'm sorry, I can't link it. I don't know do.
• 22:11
  You thrift in the thrift store? Or do you thrift on like Thread
• 22:13
  Up or Poshmark? I like to thrift in the thrift
• 22:16
  store mainly 'cause I like to try it on If it's really cheap
• 22:20
  it's like maybe. But for the most part, a lot of
• 22:23
  the times with Poshmark, it's like the pictures do not do it
• 22:25
  just. Yeah.
• 22:26
  So I like to look, look at something and be like, oh, yeah,
• 22:29
  I could see myself wearing that, trying it on, you know, Granted,
• 22:33
  fluorescent lights and goodwill are not the best indicator of if
• 22:36
  something looks good, but for the most part, it fits.
• 22:39
  And if I'm like, oh, yeah, that's cool, then I buy it.
• 22:41
  But yeah, it's, it's very hard for women to find their unique
• 22:46
  style because first of all, not only are these trends being
• 22:49
  pushed on them on Instagram and, and TikTok 24/7 with the, you
• 22:55
  know, there was the, was it the mob's wife or something?
• 22:58
  The the gangster's wife aesthetic.
• 23:00
  And then there was like clean girl aesthetic.
• 23:02
  Did you hear about those? I know, clean girl aesthetic.
• 23:04
  What's the gangster wife aesthetic?
• 23:06
  It's like leather and like black fur and like slicked back hair
• 23:09
  and glasses. There was like, there's so many
• 23:12
  aesthetics and trends that it's like women are trying to keep up
• 23:16
  with them because they feel like they're in competition with
• 23:18
  these other women or they want to fit in or they want to be a
• 23:21
  part of the trend. And unfortunately, it just
• 23:24
  cheapens their own aesthetic. It cheapens their own
• 23:27
  personality and, and their style.
• 23:30
  You know, I'm, I, we're not all meant to be cookie cutter
• 23:33
  versions of ourselves. We might wear something similar,
• 23:36
  but what you're wearing would look different on me than what
• 23:38
  I'm wearing would look different on you and we would wear it
• 23:41
  differently. So trying to make us all cookie
• 23:44
  cutter by buying the same, you know, same pair of jeans, same
• 23:48
  crop tops and everything. It's just, it just cheapens our
• 23:50
  value, you know, in a lot of ways.
• 23:53
  Did you, when you you've said a couple times that you started
• 23:56
  the ministry? What what is that talk us about
• 23:59
  Tell me what that means A ministry.
• 24:01
  I mean, obviously a ministry involves serving souls, helping
• 24:04
  souls, but what are the steps that you took to do that?
• 24:07
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  scripture. You've got Bible in a year,
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  you've got amazing prayers and meditations led by people like
• 24:29
  Jonathan Rumi of The Chosen, and you have sleep stories, kids
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  content, and so much more. If you're wondering on a daily
• 24:36
  basis, how do I remind myself to carve out time for God and maybe
• 24:39
  have the guided prayer sessions or the scriptural readings or
• 24:43
  the spiritual readings that are going to strengthen your
• 24:44
  relationship with God. Hollow App is a great place to
• 24:47
  start. And if you use the link in the
• 24:49
  description today, you can get three months free at
• 24:52
  hollow.com/lila. Get 3 months free of the Hollow
• 24:55
  App at hollow.com/lila. Yeah, it was.
• 24:59
  It was an accident because I posted a tick tock video when I
• 25:04
  first reverted back because I was trying to find other young
• 25:06
  Catholics who were like me who I could potentially lean on for
• 25:11
  advice and, and what to do and how to be a good Catholic as a
• 25:14
  young person. And nothing against, you know,
• 25:16
  Catholic answers or anything, but older guys I'm like, not
• 25:20
  that I don't appreciate your input.
• 25:21
  Jimmy Akins I love the beard, but not for exactly.
• 25:25
  I'm not going to grow a beard like that.
• 25:26
  Exactly, and I agree. Are there women at Catholic
• 25:29
  answers? I don't think so.
• 25:30
  Not that I'm aware of, but I also the only other woman that I
• 25:33
  knew of or women that I knew of were Jackie Angel.
• 25:38
  I love. Jackie's great.
• 25:39
  And Emily Wilson yes. And those two were the only
• 25:43
  other girls, but they were moms and and they were older.
• 25:46
  And I'm like, I'm, you know, 1920.
• 25:48
  I'm like, I, I can take great advice from you, but I'm not in
• 25:52
  that area of life anymore. You know, I'm, I'm single.
• 25:55
  I'm I'm you're dating at the time or whatever, and I want
• 25:59
  young Catholics, even if they're guys, to just tell me what life
• 26:03
  is like as a Gen. Z Catholic.
• 26:05
  Like tell me how do? You how to do this as a Gen.
• 26:07
  Z Catholic. Exactly.
• 26:08
  And so how do? You do this as a Gen.
• 26:10
  Z Catholic. I'm a.
• 26:11
  Millennial. So.
• 26:13
  It's tough. It's tough.
• 26:15
  But I think the first part is just kind of, you know,
• 26:18
  undertaking trends a lot of the time and twisting them into like
• 26:22
  Catholic versions. I think that's that's a good way
• 26:24
  of doing it, but how do? You take the gangster mob wife
• 26:28
  and twist it. I'm like Catholic version,
• 26:31
  hardcore Catholic. Our Lady have got a Lupe on the
• 26:33
  black leather bag. Just on the back of your leather
• 26:36
  jacket, it's just like, yeah, I mean big.
• 26:38
  Rosary around your neck. Yes, and I think there are so
• 26:41
  many ways we can just like caslify things.
• 26:43
  I mean it's so easy to do. It takes a little bit of effort
• 26:46
  though I will say it takes takes some time.
• 26:48
  Sometimes you got to bleep out certain words.
• 26:50
  Sometimes you have to put on an extra layer of clothing.
• 26:53
  But you know, you can caslify stuff.
• 26:55
  But yeah, I was kind of just looking for anybody to tell me
• 26:59
  that, to show me that. And I didn't find anybody.
• 27:01
  So I kind of had this revelation.
• 27:03
  I'm like, well, maybe I should be that for other people.
• 27:05
  Like maybe there are other people like me who don't have
• 27:07
  that. And so I posted a really
• 27:11
  horrible TikTok. I mean, not like horrible, but
• 27:12
  like the the quality was horrible.
• 27:15
  It was really grainy and it was low light.
• 27:17
  But it was just my rosary, a Chick-fil-A drink that I had in
• 27:20
  my church at the time and I posted that got thousands,
• 27:24
  thousands of followers overnight just like they poured in.
• 27:27
  And I was like, this is like the worst video ever.
• 27:30
  What is going on? What were you saying in the
• 27:32
  video? I didn't say.
• 27:32
  Anything, it was just like a the, the audio was like Catholic
• 27:36
  Czech and then it was just like music and so.
• 27:39
  And you had your You're sitting at a church drinking Chick-fil-A
• 27:41
  and with a rosary. Yeah, yeah.
• 27:43
  And that was it. And people just.
• 27:45
  And I realized that, well, maybe this is a need.
• 27:47
  Maybe people need Catholic aesthetic.
• 27:49
  Yeah, exactly, exactly. And I was like, well, maybe
• 27:52
  maybe people need that, you know, so I kind of dope into
• 27:56
  that. Yes, exactly.
• 27:59
  I'm like, you know, I'm just, I'm, I'm over here.
• 28:02
  I don't mind. But it was one of those things
• 28:05
  where I realized there was a need, you know, and when I
• 28:09
  started, I started seeing more Catholic communicators, content
• 28:13
  creators popping up that were brand new, that were like, Hey,
• 28:16
  I'm going to talk about my faith.
• 28:17
  And they would comment on my stuff and be like, hey, you
• 28:20
  know, I, I saw you and I, I want to do that too.
• 28:22
  And we ended up forming a very small, but, you know, tight knit
• 28:26
  community on TikTok before I was banned in 2021.
• 28:30
  Are you similarly? Yeah, I was banned in 2021 or
• 28:33
  2022 or 2021. Really.
• 28:35
  I wasn't doing as much as you were.
• 28:37
  You were probably doing, but I still got banned.
• 28:39
  Yeah, but it was more for being pro-life than for being
• 28:41
  Catholic. OK, Why were you banned?
• 28:42
  For my animals. What did you do with you?
• 28:45
  I don't know. Just like this got dark.
• 28:47
  No, we got chickens and I I posted.
• 28:49
  About them just like dinner had them on live stream.
• 28:53
  You never did you? But it's just one of those.
• 28:56
  They just. Just like PITA anyone?
• 28:59
  Wait wait, you just had a chicken on your on your tick
• 29:01
  tock and they banned you for that?
• 29:02
  Yeah, so I had tick tock. I had animals.
• 29:04
  Yeah, I had a bunch of animals. I have like a snake and rabbit
• 29:07
  and dogs and chickens. Or at your apartment or your.
• 29:10
  Parents, my parents house and just like that would be a little
• 29:13
  cramped, but they had we had like the, you know, the backyard
• 29:17
  chickens and we got a bunch of baby chicks over the spring and
• 29:21
  we were going to raise them to be more like not pets, but they
• 29:23
  were like egg laying chickens. But we wanted to be able to pick
• 29:26
  them up and pet them and stuff. So we got them as chicks and I
• 29:29
  just kind of documented that and then I got a warning about
• 29:34
  something about content or I don't know.
• 29:36
  It's like this goes against our community guidelines You.
• 29:39
  Know love to have pets on TikTok?
• 29:40
  Apparently I don't know. But anyone got looked into this
• 29:43
  for you Amber and tried to? Nobody has, because in 2021 I
• 29:49
  was. Just like we have a contact at
• 29:50
  TikTok. Really.
• 29:52
  I mean, we should. Did you?
• 29:53
  Are you, do you want to get back on the platform?
• 29:55
  I don't know. OK, she's done.
• 29:57
  So anyway. Well, if you want.
• 29:58
  I don't know if we do. I don't want to.
• 30:00
  I know we have contacts at some of the social media.
• 30:01
  Companies. Well, maybe I'll be like, hey,
• 30:03
  maybe my. Chicken is dead now anyways.
• 30:05
  Yeah, exactly. Well, now they're on.
• 30:07
  A farm somewhere. I don't have chickens anymore.
• 30:09
  It's true, we don't. But they have a husband now,
• 30:11
  yeah. Exactly.
• 30:12
  He he can take care of the the chickens.
• 30:14
  We got far superior to chickens. I actually had a pet.
• 30:17
  Oh really? What was?
• 30:18
  Its name Clucky, but that was really horribly.
• 30:23
  I would just sell this is so Clucky was my pet chicken and I
• 30:26
  was not. I was like probably 10 I think.
• 30:29
  But anyways, we had chickens at my house and like you know, the
• 30:32
  chicken coop and the egg laying and all of this.
• 30:34
  We actually had goats too, weirdly.
• 30:35
  Yeah. OK.
• 30:36
  Did you say your parents had? Goats.
• 30:37
  No, they don't. But I thought you said goats.
• 30:39
  No, but they're they're cute. Like those also died terrible
• 30:42
  ways, but these chickens all would die terrible ways except
• 30:44
  Plucky was my like special chicken.
• 30:47
  And then there was this other baby chicken that was like a a
• 30:49
  young man chicken. OK, so like he was like he would
• 30:53
  have thrown into a hand. This is like a male.
• 30:55
  Chick. Oh, rooster.
• 30:56
  Like a rooster chick, Yeah. Anyways, I forget his name, but
• 30:59
  it was my brother's chick. OK, fair.
• 31:01
  So we had these chickens and then they were fighting or like
• 31:04
  there was some issue with food competition.
• 31:05
  So we put Clucky in a box in my grandparents garage and I loved
• 31:10
  Clucky so much. Beautiful little Clucky.
• 31:12
  Birds. It's like perfect little clucky,
• 31:14
  but we had a cat. Oh no.
• 31:16
  The lid was on the box. All that was it was like a
• 31:18
  little hole like this. And so you really, there's no
• 31:21
  way that clucky could it like it's one of those tiny little
• 31:23
  holes apparently. So one morning I come
• 31:26
  downstairs, this is like a couple weeks before Christmas,
• 31:28
  and my dad puts me on his lap and he's like, he says to me,
• 31:32
  how would you like another chicken for Christmas?
• 31:35
  Oh no, that's how, you know, I was like, I don't need another.
• 31:39
  Chicken. And he was like, sweetie, you
• 31:42
  actually do. Clucky is not with us anymore
• 31:47
  and apparently all was left was Clucky was Feathers because
• 31:50
  someone let the cat Mr. Bingley in the garage and overnight
• 31:54
  massacred Clucky and only left the Feathers.
• 31:56
  So anyways, that's my trauma dramatizing.
• 31:59
  Story I mean they could have they could have banned the cat
• 32:01
  off TikTok I guess. I know something but that's
• 32:05
  crazy that TikTok would ban you over.
• 32:07
  I mean, well, I had multiple videos and I have a snake, you
• 32:10
  know, she's she doesn't do anything.
• 32:12
  I was like feeding a rat snake. Yeah, I do.
• 32:14
  But I wasn't like feeding her anything.
• 32:16
  I just like, yeah, this is my snake and this is my rabbit and
• 32:18
  I have a dog and I have, you know, and that got banned too.
• 32:22
  Like that also was was taken down and they're like community
• 32:25
  guidelines. And I was like, OK, I post about
• 32:27
  pro-life stuff, I post about Catholic things, you know, LGBTQ
• 32:32
  things, like all this stuff. I have this whole plethora of
• 32:34
  controversial topics my animals. This is what you're a.
• 32:38
  Community guideline that says you're not allowed to post
• 32:40
  animals? No.
• 32:41
  Wasn't there that squirrel on tech talk recently that got?
• 32:44
  Killed. Yeah, and then they kept its
• 32:46
  headless body for stuff. Did they?
• 32:48
  Because they killed it for rabies.
• 32:50
  And the raccoon as well. It was this well known?
• 32:53
  He was like a famous squirrel on.
• 32:55
  Right. Yeah, Peanut, Peanut.
• 32:57
  Yeah, he was very famous, but he was.
• 32:59
  Allowed on TikTok. He was.
• 33:00
  Yeah, until the government killed him.
• 33:02
  Yeah, not TikTok. Yeah, the government came and
• 33:05
  take them. Yeah, they raided the house and
• 33:07
  they took Peanut and they they killed them to test for rabies.
• 33:10
  And I was like, all right, guys, I know and.
• 33:14
  I'm like, did he have rabies? By the way?
• 33:16
  Do you know he did not? They just killed him.
• 33:17
  Yeah. They did cause.
• 33:19
  That a shame. Technically, his owner was
• 33:21
  getting a permit to be able to keep them and then they just
• 33:24
  braided and they took his animals and they just.
• 33:26
  Just killed the tick tock, allowed Peanut on the platform.
• 33:29
  Yeah. And allowed your pet.
• 33:31
  You. You deserve justice.
• 33:33
  I would just. Are you still in touch with the
• 33:34
  chicken? No, actually we are, yes, we, so
• 33:38
  we had them, we gave them to a nice couple in the country.
• 33:43
  I don't know, they have like a little farm out there for egg
• 33:46
  laying, you know. Nice.
• 33:47
  So they're out there now 'cause I was just.
• 33:48
  Getting them out to pasture in a good way, yeah.
• 33:50
  Yeah, not in the, not in the other.
• 33:52
  Side they're they're alive and well.
• 33:54
  Yeah, they are. Which is, you know, great for
• 33:57
  them, not for the other chickens.
• 33:59
  So, so you're not on TikTok, but you're on all the other social
• 34:01
  platforms? Yes.
• 34:02
  So I'm on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube.
• 34:05
  I have my own podcast called A Catholics Perspective.
• 34:08
  I do in person talks like I do all of that.
• 34:10
  But with the ministries, my specific thing about the
• 34:13
  ministry is I fell away from the faith.
• 34:16
  I knew what it was like to be out of friendship with God for
• 34:19
  eight years. I knew what it was like to be in
• 34:21
  the world, do everything I possibly could to fill the God
• 34:25
  shaped hole in my heart and come out shorthanded every time, and
• 34:30
  then to come back and realize what I've been missing this
• 34:32
  entire time. So my ministry is really about
• 34:35
  bringing those back into the faith who have fallen away or
• 34:38
  are lost. And it's interesting because my
• 34:42
  my handle, the religious hippie really helps with that.
• 34:44
  People always ask me why the religious hippie, why that?
• 34:46
  That sounds so scandalous. That sounds so weird.
• 34:48
  I'm like, you don't understand. It's a tactic.
• 34:50
  People see the religious hippie, they don't automatically think
• 34:53
  Catholicism. People see Catholic in a title
• 34:56
  somewhere and they're instantly turned off.
• 34:58
  They're like I don't want anything to do with Catholics, I
• 34:59
  don't want this. The amount of non Catholics or
• 35:02
  ex Catholics who have found my page have learned something
• 35:05
  about the Catholic Church because they weren't turned off
• 35:07
  by the title or my name because it didn't automatically give it
• 35:11
  away is astounding. Like the amounts of people, I
• 35:13
  mean from Muslims to Protestants to Jews, like anybody, like
• 35:19
  everybody has come and emailed me and has been like, you know,
• 35:22
  I wasn't sure, but I saw your profile and I was like, that's
• 35:24
  interesting. And I was just curious.
• 35:26
  And now I know like all of this stuff about the Catholic Church
• 35:29
  and now I'm going to convert. And it's crazy because how?
• 35:33
  Many emails like that have you gotten.
• 35:36
  Over the last, like since the ministry has started, I mean
• 35:38
  over 100. I mean, I mean it doesn't sound
• 35:41
  like a lot, but 100 souls is a lot.
• 35:43
  I mean, Even so many. Is a lot, you know, to even just
• 35:46
  save one soul is like, you know, obviously it's through the grace
• 35:49
  of God. It's not my own, but it's
• 35:51
  something that is like very humbling in a way, knowing that
• 35:56
  like there are souls out there who are in desperate need of,
• 35:59
  of, you know, being pointed back onto the narrow path and, and
• 36:03
  just kind of being a catalyst for that and, and being a tool
• 36:05
  in God's hands to help him lead this person back to him is just,
• 36:09
  it's so crazy to think about, you know?
• 36:11
  It's astounding. It's astounding, yeah.
• 36:14
  I mean, that's and then the impact that 100 souls can then
• 36:17
  go make on 1000 souls or 10, you know, like that.
• 36:21
  It's a ripple effect that can impact the entire world.
• 36:24
  Yes. And I think that's something
• 36:25
  that people don't understand. It's like if the world cannot
• 36:29
  tell that you are Catholic, you're doing it wrong.
• 36:31
  I mean, I'm not saying that you have to go out on a street
• 36:34
  corner and preach about Saint Thomas Aquinas or, you know,
• 36:38
  talk about the Bible on a street corner.
• 36:40
  But I am saying that you need to minister to the people in your
• 36:43
  life. If there is somebody in your
• 36:45
  life who has fallen away from the church, invite them to go to
• 36:47
  Mass with you. Invite them to go to adoration
• 36:49
  with, with you or, or you know, even a retreat, you know, invite
• 36:55
  them to read a book that you've that you've read from the
• 36:58
  Catholic Church or, you know, I think it's, there's a balance
• 37:02
  there. Of course, you know, you don't
• 37:03
  want to become overbearing, but ministering to the people in
• 37:06
  your life right now as opposed to going out and seeking, you
• 37:10
  know, other forms of conversion. Like people will go online and
• 37:14
  they'll, they'll just post like the the longest thread I've ever
• 37:18
  seen about why Protestants should convert to Catholicism.
• 37:21
  But I'm like, you probably know one Protestant really well who
• 37:25
  you could just talk to and minister to without being pushy,
• 37:28
  without being like, oh, you need to convert.
• 37:31
  Just ministering to them. And I'm getting to know them on
• 37:34
  a more personal basis and being able to form a connection
• 37:38
  because through you ministering to them and them seeing Christ
• 37:41
  in you and that joy that you have, they'll naturally want
• 37:45
  what you have. And that's how conversions
• 37:47
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  order. Yeah, always through
• 38:35
  relationships in the end. I mean, that's what that's like
• 38:38
  the communion of Saints. The whole idea of heaven, our
• 38:41
  eternal home is it's a family. Yes.
• 38:44
  And we're, these are our brother, like a Protestant, like
• 38:46
  we're Catholics here, obviously, but they're our brothers and
• 38:48
  sisters and every person is God's creature.
• 38:52
  So beyond even like anybody of any religion, no religion at
• 38:55
  all, That's all. We're all family and God wants
• 38:59
  us all to be together forever in heaven.
• 39:01
  Yeah, and I think it's it's difficult when online, so many
• 39:05
  people see so much division. You know, even inside the
• 39:07
  Catholic Church, you know, there's so much division going
• 39:10
  on. And.
• 39:11
  Yeah, and I'm just like, how does this look?
• 39:13
  How does this look to non Catholics or to ex Catholics who
• 39:16
  left? Like this just kind of validates
• 39:18
  that it's like we need to minister to people.
• 39:21
  We need to have joy, we need to have charity.
• 39:23
  The word charity I feel like is lost on social media.
• 39:26
  I mean, the amount of Internet fights I see going on on X the
• 39:29
  amount that I see going on in the Instagram comments.
• 39:31
  I'm like, guys, guys, we're supposed to be representing the
• 39:34
  church here. We're supposed to be
• 39:36
  representing Jesus Christ, Not, you know, this is not of Christ
• 39:40
  sometimes. And that's not to say you can't
• 39:44
  be stern in certain things, but I mean the amount of just a
• 39:49
  trust, like the the amount of just like insults that that I
• 39:53
  have been that I have been the victim of from from other
• 39:57
  Catholics. Catholics.
• 39:58
  Yes, by actual. Catholics, and we know they're
• 40:01
  Catholics because. It's Catholic Gentleman 101 or
• 40:04
  like. Exactly like they they.
• 40:07
  Can't do wonder how much of Internet controversies,
• 40:10
  including in our Catholic circles, is generated by
• 40:14
  literally like Russian bots. Yeah, not a lot of it, but I bet
• 40:18
  some of it. I mean, some feds or something
• 40:20
  or people who infiltrate, they say they're Catholic and then
• 40:23
  they just try to rile Catholics up to like get us to divide.
• 40:25
  And see what happens. Yeah, and I have no doubt.
• 40:28
  I mean, there have been multiple times and the feds just like,
• 40:32
  are you fed? I mean, it's a joke too.
• 40:34
  But at the same time, I've seen people where I'm just like, are
• 40:37
  you really Catholic? Like if you if you believe this
• 40:40
  and you say this and these are your actions, I'll try to reach
• 40:43
  out to them personally and be like, Hey, I just don't think
• 40:45
  this is like the best thing. And I've had one person say, Oh,
• 40:48
  I'm not actually Catholic. Wow.
• 40:50
  And I'm just like. Did they have like a Catholic
• 40:52
  name? Yeah, they had like Saint
• 40:53
  Michael or something. It was like an Aquinas account
• 40:56
  and stuff and they were pushing all of this.
• 41:00
  It sounded Catholic but it was like anti Catholic and it.
• 41:04
  Confused. Yeah.
• 41:05
  And it confused Catholics. And so they would just argue and
• 41:08
  argue. And I'm like, why are you doing
• 41:09
  this? He's like engagement.
• 41:11
  He's like, I get engagement from this.
• 41:12
  Yeah. And I was.
• 41:14
  And then he blocked me and I was just like, all right, well, OK,
• 41:17
  whatever. I was like, I don't actually
• 41:18
  know if it was a guy because could have been a girl for all I
• 41:21
  know. Because you, you never know.
• 41:22
  Anonymous accounts are everywhere.
• 41:24
  They're everywhere. Yeah.
• 41:26
  And you never know who you're dealing with.
• 41:27
  And that's why Internet safety is so important, especially for
• 41:30
  for women, too. I mean, men.
• 41:32
  What? Are your What's your top three
• 41:33
  rules for Internet safety as a woman especially?
• 41:36
  Yes, never ever film the outside of your house or places you
• 41:41
  regularly go. OK, well my church is one of
• 41:43
  them, but everybody knows it and most of the actually all of the
• 41:48
  ushers pack, so, you know, they're packing so we don't have
• 41:50
  to worry. About that.
• 41:51
  There you go guys. Don't, don't do it.
• 41:52
  Don't try anything. So it's like don't film any
• 41:55
  places you regularly go that can be easily recognized.
• 41:59
  Don't give away like personal information honestly last names
• 42:04
  and stuff like that. Ideally not.
• 42:07
  Rose is not your real last name. No, it's not.
• 42:08
  Yeah, it's actually my my middle name.
• 42:10
  It's, well, my first name. It's Mash because Amber Rose.
• 42:12
  So I'm named after St. Ambrose?
• 42:14
  Yeah, yeah. It works out well.
• 42:17
  And, you know, it works. And it's not to say that my
• 42:19
  name's not out there somewhere, but it makes it a lot harder to
• 42:21
  find. And then the third thing is, of
• 42:24
  course, when going anywhere, if you're going somewhere or
• 42:28
  anything, you're taking a bunch of photos, post the photos after
• 42:31
  you left. Like, don't like leave first, be
• 42:34
  away from that area, then post the photos.
• 42:36
  Every single time. People are like, oh, I was just
• 42:38
  there. Oh, I da, da, da, da, da.
• 42:40
  And I was just like, Oh yeah. That was last week, yeah.
• 42:42
  Exactly, exactly. Because you have to have that,
• 42:45
  that level of separation and safety.
• 42:47
  And people don't always realize that they're like, Oh my gosh,
• 42:49
  are you here? And I was like, Oh no, sorry,
• 42:51
  that was like 6 hours ago. My bad, sorry about that.
• 42:56
  But you have to do that because if you don't, I mean, it just
• 43:00
  makes you an easy target for people who do want to hurt you.
• 43:02
  And I don't think there's enough self-awareness when it comes to
• 43:06
  what we post and where we realize we, if there is somebody
• 43:10
  who doesn't tend to harm us, like they will find a way, you
• 43:13
  know, or try to at least. And so we have to give them as
• 43:16
  little ways to get to us as possible.
• 43:18
  And you just do that, you know, don't share your last name,
• 43:20
  don't share, you know, the locations where you regularly
• 43:23
  go. And if you are in a location,
• 43:25
  obviously wait to post about it. You have you gotten death
• 43:27
  threats? Yeah, I mean, just for being.
• 43:30
  The Cath, the religious hippie, yes.
• 43:32
  And I know you're very pro-life and I want to talk, hear, hear
• 43:34
  you share about that because I think that's awesome.
• 43:36
  And then you're very pro marriage.
• 43:38
  Is it connected to that or is it just the fact that you're a
• 43:40
  woman who's a Catholic online and people, just, some people
• 43:44
  just hate that. It's I wish I knew the intention
• 43:48
  but I know for real there is no good intention.
• 43:52
  I find that normally what it is is it's mainly because I'm a
• 43:56
  woman. That's most of the threats I
• 43:58
  get, you know, from being cursed at for all the different types
• 44:01
  of I mean, you can grocery list of curse words that have been
• 44:04
  called, but I think. 'Cause you're a woman and you're
• 44:07
  speaking online in a space that some sort of red pill men may
• 44:11
  kind of be adjacent to. And so they just hate women.
• 44:14
  Who Yeah, they just hate women and.
• 44:16
  Then they find out I'm married and it feeds the fire and then
• 44:19
  they go after my husband. My poor husband.
• 44:21
  It's he online? No, he's not.
• 44:23
  He doesn't have any social media.
• 44:24
  And that's for the best. You know, we kind of balance
• 44:26
  each other out in that way, which is great.
• 44:29
  But it's like, yeah, you know, it's, it's a struggle.
• 44:32
  And I think part of it is definitely the misogynistic type
• 44:36
  of mindset. It's unfortunate because I've
• 44:39
  tried to connect with these people.
• 44:41
  I, I think a lot of them have great takes, but they see, I'm a
• 44:44
  woman and I do woman things online.
• 44:47
  Like I post mass vids and I, I post like modest cute
• 44:51
  inspiration for the other girls and they just rake me through
• 44:55
  the coals for it. And it's so odd to me.
• 44:58
  They're like. This is not for you.
• 45:00
  You can block. Please block me actually.
• 45:02
  Exactly, I'm like I would. Appreciate about the Internet is
• 45:05
  that anybody can see what's posted obviously publicly, but
• 45:09
  not everything that's posted publicly is for everyone.
• 45:11
  Exactly. Even everybody thinks it's about
• 45:14
  them. Everybody takes everything so
• 45:16
  personally. And I have some girlfriends
• 45:19
  online who also post mass fits and they get the same treatment.
• 45:23
  I mean these are normally dressed women though.
• 45:26
  It's not even like. So you post a mass, fit an
• 45:29
  outfit for mass and people hate you?
• 45:30
  I've actually never done that. I wonder what would happen?
• 45:33
  You just tried to be like Amber Rose.
• 45:35
  Challenge just people like everything was fine.
• 45:40
  Amber, you're like. And then you get drank through
• 45:41
  the mud like a week later. It's like, oh, it was.
• 45:44
  It was interesting too. I've had articles written about
• 45:46
  me because of it. Some guy tried to analyze my
• 45:49
  personality based off of my eyeball.
• 45:53
  Just one. Yeah, just one.
• 45:55
  He was just like, yeah, OK, so these are the things I've
• 45:57
  gathered from her based off of this photo.
• 46:00
  And it's so interesting to see because I think these people
• 46:04
  genuinely think that it in some way, shape or form gets to me or
• 46:10
  bothers me or something. The.
• 46:13
  And I don't know how to make it clear to them, because if you
• 46:15
  respond to them, then they're like, Oh well, you do care.
• 46:17
  And it's like, I just care about your soul.
• 46:20
  I'm sorry. It's.
• 46:21
  Also funny? Let's let's be like we're
• 46:22
  talking about it right now, 'cause it's actually kind of
• 46:24
  humorous. Really funny, yeah.
• 46:25
  It's really funny 'cause it's kind of like the chicken.
• 46:28
  It's just like, this is just like part of life.
• 46:30
  And we're not trying to make fun of them as human beings per SE.
• 46:32
  But sometimes human behavior, when it's foolish, can look
• 46:35
  funny and and it can't help but kind of giggle at it.
• 46:37
  Like this is this is really funny.
• 46:39
  And it's interesting 'cause it's almost like a just like, come
• 46:42
  on, guys, really. Yeah, you can't help but laugh
• 46:45
  because some of the things they say or they come up with you are
• 46:49
  just like, where did you get? Where did you pull that one out
• 46:52
  of like, really? But the main thing is, is that I
• 46:56
  have, you know, I, despite the fact that I do have to block
• 47:00
  some just for safety reasons, it's like I have a laundry list
• 47:04
  of them and I'll write down in my journal their usernames so
• 47:08
  that I can pray for them in my rosary because I'm like, and
• 47:11
  I'll name their username 'cause I don't know their real name.
• 47:13
  Maybe they're hating you because they know you do that.
• 47:15
  Maybe they're just like Amber Rose would pray for myself.
• 47:18
  But just be like, don't do that. Just be like, well, you can't
• 47:21
  control it. So sorry, you know?
• 47:24
  But it's interesting because, yeah, I'll, I'm, it's
• 47:28
  interesting because at first I'll be like, that's sad.
• 47:31
  Like why would somebody do that? Why would somebody say that?
• 47:33
  But then I'm like, it's kind of funny.
• 47:36
  It's like, oh, sorry guys. And they're.
• 47:39
  Like writing their name and laughing.
• 47:40
  Like, just be like Catholic gentlemen 101 Yeah, exactly.
• 47:44
  It's so funny to be quinas. 27th Quinas of 40.
• 47:48
  By the way, we love Catholic. We're both married to Catholic
• 47:50
  gentlemen and they're the best men in the world.
• 47:51
  But it's like we're not talking about the Catholic gentlemen.
• 47:53
  And just to your point earlier, some of them assumed cause I've
• 47:56
  gotten some horrible hate online.
• 47:58
  I believe it. And they're from accounts that
• 48:01
  are they say they're Catholic or they say they're probe Trump or
• 48:03
  they say they're they say like they're like in the in the waves
• 48:07
  places that we probably move in. And it's like this is.
• 48:11
  It's like, what are we going? Like what's the goal here
• 48:15
  exactly? And it's interesting because
• 48:17
  it's like, in their mind, it's almost as if women should not
• 48:20
  exist at all, in a way. And I'm just like, huh, that's
• 48:24
  OK, so. Jesus would not be here.
• 48:26
  Exactly. And not to mention like women
• 48:30
  throughout history. Mary Magdalene, right?
• 48:33
  There have been Saints that have done the most amazing things who
• 48:37
  are women. And also you would not be here
• 48:39
  without a woman, Sir. So it's also kind of like, do
• 48:43
  they have mom issues maybe? Honestly, I think what's fueling
• 48:47
  it, at least some of it is maybe connected back to the fact that
• 48:52
  we live in a time when men, especially young men, are very
• 48:55
  displaced and they're struggling to find what their thing is.
• 48:59
  Because women do have some special privileges in our
• 49:02
  society, more than they should. And there's like affirmative
• 49:06
  action for women in the workplace, in academia.
• 49:09
  And so if you're a man and you don't fit sort of these special
• 49:12
  DEI groups, then you might get a less opportunity than the next
• 49:18
  woman or the next man even of a different, like, background.
• 49:21
  And so I think that, like, grinds men's gears, some men, as
• 49:25
  it understandably would, because they're struggling to figure
• 49:28
  out, you know, where's my place in society.
• 49:30
  So I'm not saying any resentments justified, but it is
• 49:33
  coming from a place maybe for a lot of men where they're like,
• 49:35
  women just get to do whatever they want and they're always the
• 49:39
  victim. And they're always like, you
• 49:40
  know, yeah, I'm so perfect, you know, And I think that may be
• 49:43
  driving some of it. Yeah, I don't doubt that.
• 49:45
  I mean, I've seen it first hand from other women.
• 49:48
  I'm like, are you guys serious? Like, we're doing this right
• 49:50
  now. OK.
• 49:50
  All right. And it's interesting because the
• 49:53
  poor guys, they get, you know, they get emasculated,
• 49:56
  emasculated by these women. And so whether that's, you know,
• 50:01
  because the woman is specifically, like, they've been
• 50:03
  lied to by the feminist movement and they've, you know, worked
• 50:07
  their way up the corporate ladder or they've, you know,
• 50:10
  just given into, oh, I'll wait on kids.
• 50:12
  I don't need kids right now. And then they become, you know,
• 50:14
  they're getting their 40s. And then.
• 50:15
  Yeah, and they realized, no, wait, I was lied to.
• 50:18
  I really do want those things. And I think a lot of women are
• 50:23
  waking up to that now. But unfortunately there are side
• 50:26
  effects of it where it's so ingrained in their mind that
• 50:29
  certain things that they were raised with or that they have
• 50:31
  done, it just sticks with them. It's just second nature.
• 50:35
  I had that issue, you know, I, I didn't keep in mind the guys I
• 50:41
  dated them weren't the best anyways, but I didn't really let
• 50:45
  them take the lead in anything. I mean, they, nothing they could
• 50:49
  do was right in my eyes. Like they always messed
• 50:51
  everything up. I was just like, why did you do
• 50:53
  it that way? Like I was very controlling,
• 50:55
  like. Even dates and whatever else.
• 50:57
  Yeah, and I was very controlling and I was like, I, I didn't
• 51:00
  necessarily want to work, but I didn't trust them to provide.
• 51:04
  So I was like, OK, I need to get a job.
• 51:06
  So then I, I worked at PetSmart and Chick-fil-A for like years
• 51:10
  and I, yeah, I was like 16. I was like I need to get a job.
• 51:17
  You cannot pay for my Chick-fil-A.
• 51:19
  You have no money. Exactly.
• 51:20
  I'm working there and getting it for free.
• 51:23
  It's true, actually. We want to get our food for
• 51:25
  free. You.
• 51:25
  Your Chick-fil-A. They would only.
• 51:27
  Give us like a discount. I was like, this is BS.
• 51:30
  I'm like, they're you're not even going to give me actual
• 51:31
  food for free. Oh my gosh.
• 51:33
  But it's true. I mean.
• 51:34
  Didn't dating before? Like do you think dating at 16
• 51:37
  is please don't please. Don't I don't think anyone
• 51:41
  should be dating till you're in college and people are like, oh,
• 51:44
  but but you know, my, my parents were childhood sweethearts.
• 51:46
  I'm like, that's so sweet. I'm so glad that worked out for
• 51:49
  them. That is not the majority.
• 51:51
  That is not usually what happens.
• 51:53
  And if it does work out, great. But usually when you date in
• 51:57
  high school, people don't think ahead, right?
• 51:59
  High school is actually very short.
• 52:00
  It feels like forever, but it's four years.
• 52:03
  And after that, you guys are either going to go to separate
• 52:05
  colleges or maybe the same college.
• 52:07
  But would you go to the same college if you weren't dating?
• 52:10
  And when you are a long distance after being after seeing each
• 52:12
  other every single day for four years, is there going to be
• 52:16
  trust issues there? Are there going to be things
• 52:17
  there that you guys aren't willing to work through?
• 52:18
  I mean. What encourages me so much and
• 52:21
  always did, even back in the day when I was in high school and
• 52:23
  everything else, was that I knew I had this.
• 52:25
  This was a grace from God that if it was meant to be, it would
• 52:28
  be. Yeah, So.
• 52:29
  And I think if more people had the trust, like Jesus asking you
• 52:32
  in Mass, that was the moment of like, the beginning of your big
• 52:34
  reversion. Like, do you trust me?
• 52:37
  Do you trust me? Like if you trust him, then you
• 52:39
  can break up thinking this is prudent, knowing that you're not
• 52:43
  throwing your love or vocation away.
• 52:45
  If you're meant to be with this guy or woman, because you will,
• 52:47
  you will find your way back to each other.
• 52:49
  Exactly. And I think that's so important
• 52:51
  is to know that just because you know you are long distance
• 52:56
  doesn't mean it won't work. But you also need to have those
• 52:59
  conversations. And I don't think a lot of
• 53:01
  couples have those conversations of like, hey, you know, I plan
• 53:06
  on applying to this school in this state.
• 53:09
  I know you wanted to go to this school in this state.
• 53:11
  But I, you know, it also depends on what's more important to you,
• 53:14
  right? Is marrying this person more
• 53:17
  important to you or is getting your degree more important?
• 53:19
  And that's different for men and women, of course, you know,
• 53:21
  depending. But I know some women who, you
• 53:24
  know, dropped out of college to get married to their husband
• 53:27
  while he was in college. And then they lived together and
• 53:29
  she got a job there and he finished college and now they
• 53:32
  provide for each other or he provides for her.
• 53:34
  And I know other people who the guy went to the same college as
• 53:38
  his girlfriend and they got married while they went both
• 53:40
  went to college, they both got their degrees.
• 53:42
  And it just depends, you know, and I, I hate the whole cookie
• 53:45
  cutter. This is you should be married at
• 53:47
  this time. You should go to college at this
• 53:49
  time. You need a degree by this time.
• 53:50
  You need to get married before this time.
• 53:52
  You need to have kids before this.
• 53:53
  Everybody's different. Is there is there a preferred
• 53:56
  time? Maybe for some people, People
• 53:59
  are like, oh, I wish I got married when I was 19.
• 54:01
  I wish I got married when I was like 24, you know?
• 54:03
  But we can't control our circumstances or the path that
• 54:06
  God has for us. We just have to submit and kind
• 54:08
  of trust Him. That is such a good word.
• 54:12
  Listen to that everyday. That's so.
• 54:14
  It's so true when you're doing your ministry.
• 54:17
  You mentioned books that you recommend.
• 54:19
  I think you mentioned books you recommend.
• 54:21
  Are there books that you think these are the go to?
• 54:24
  If you have a young person who's not a Catholic or maybe they're
• 54:27
  falling away, they never really got what Catholic meant.
• 54:29
  You're like, I recommend this one.
• 54:31
  Or do you just tailor make it to the person you would say?
• 54:33
  I try to tailor make. It what are your go TOS?
• 54:36
  My go TOS are Surprised by Truth by Patrick Madrid.
• 54:38
  That's a nice. A good one, and then I think.
• 54:41
  I read that when I was before becoming Catholic too.
• 54:44
  It's really, it's amazing, really helpful to be inspired by
• 54:48
  other people who converted. Yeah, despite everything, you
• 54:52
  know, And it's like, oh, that's crazy.
• 54:54
  And then after after that, of course, I have the catechism.
• 54:58
  I always suggest the catechism. You know, there's a bunch of
• 55:01
  Catholic answers, books that are great, like Catholic survival
• 55:03
  guide, you know, meeting the Protestant challenge.
• 55:06
  But I think those are more for when you're actually in the
• 55:08
  faith and you're trying to learn how to defend it.
• 55:11
  I really liked Rome Sweet Home by you know, Scott.
• 55:15
  That was a book before I became Catholic too.
• 55:18
  It's it, well, it's a classic because it shows you the journey
• 55:22
  of someone who's already did, who's already done it.
• 55:24
  And that's what I was looking for when I was reverting.
• 55:27
  I wanted to see it. Oh, what's?
• 55:28
  So interesting about that is Scott Hahn was this like pastor
• 55:31
  who becomes a his wife doesn't sure about it and he becomes so,
• 55:34
  but you're like a when you're converting, you're like a 20
• 55:36
  year old girl who's like having the issues you're struggling
• 55:39
  with and then like Scott Hahn is speaking to your heart.
• 55:42
  But that's just like the universality of the faith like
• 55:45
  that someone like a Scott Hahn can be so influential for you
• 55:49
  and for me when I was also like, 19 years old.
• 55:52
  And. But I didn't like, relate to his
• 55:54
  story, per SE. It wasn't like a man.
• 55:56
  It was, but it deeply connected. Yeah.
• 56:00
  Like the the movements of its heart and what he was wrestling
• 56:02
  with. Yeah, and I definitely think
• 56:04
  that more young people need to find books and things that
• 56:09
  resonate with them. I think there comes a time I I
• 56:12
  had a priest friend tell me this once.
• 56:14
  He said if you're not inspired by the literature that you're
• 56:18
  reading, you need to put it down.
• 56:19
  It doesn't matter if it's a work that inspired your best friend
• 56:23
  to go back to confession. It doesn't matter if it's a work
• 56:26
  that Saints have read and have gotten so much from.
• 56:28
  If you personally are not getting anything from it, put it
• 56:32
  down. Pick up something else and
• 56:35
  figure out what speaks to you. Because God doesn't want another
• 56:39
  Saint Monica. God doesn't want another Saint
• 56:41
  Joan of Arc. He wants a St.
• 56:43
  Insert your name here. He wants a St.
• 56:45
  Lila Rose. He wants a St.
• 56:46
  Amber Rose. You know he wants you.
• 56:48
  He doesn't want anybody else. And we're trying to figure out,
• 56:53
  OK, what speaks most to me? What do I need?
• 56:56
  You know, what is my relationship with God?
• 56:58
  I don't want to compare my relationship to God with St.
• 57:02
  You know, Lasu's relationship with God, what is my
• 57:06
  relationship to him and how can I grow deeper based off of my
• 57:09
  temperament, my personality, you know, knowing God and he knows
• 57:13
  me. So I don't even have to worry
• 57:14
  about that. And so I think that's really
• 57:18
  beautiful too. People think that they have to
• 57:19
  have this cookie cutter. My life has to look exactly like
• 57:22
  St. Tres of Lesau or my favorite St.
• 57:23
  or my confirmation St. It's like dead at. 20 what?
• 57:26
  Yeah, exactly. It's like you don't you really
• 57:28
  want to die at 23? Yeah, I'm like, oh, maybe you
• 57:30
  rethink that, sweetie. But it's it's something that
• 57:33
  people get discouraged about. And I'm like, no, he wants to
• 57:35
  Saint you. Don't worry about it.
• 57:37
  Like just keep going. Just be faithful.
• 57:39
  Like it. It's, I know it's it's, it's
• 57:41
  easier said than done, but it really isn't that hard when you
• 57:43
  get out of your own head. Well, and the be faithful piece
• 57:46
  is very freeing too, because it's not it it it's a heavy lift
• 57:50
  in terms of if you're like in habituated, like mortal sin as
• 57:53
  an example, like porn addiction, right?
• 57:55
  That is a really heavy lift. We haven't even talked about
• 57:57
  that, but that can be a super heavy lift.
• 57:59
  But if it's something like go to Mass on Sundays, offer your life
• 58:03
  to God, make acts of, you know, offering your life to God, try
• 58:06
  to pray as you might be able to like that looks different for
• 58:09
  different people and try to like follow the law, like the the the
• 58:13
  moral law. And if you fail, you go to
• 58:15
  confession and you, you know, get up again and you keep trying
• 58:17
  to grow in virtue. Like it's not that complicated.
• 58:21
  It's not supposed to be some heavy burden where like you wake
• 58:23
  up in the morning and you're like, hey, 6:00 AM morning
• 58:26
  prayer. OK, shoot, I missed my morning
• 58:27
  prayer. It's like 8:00 AM, go to Mass.
• 58:29
  Oh, shoot, I missed Mass. OK, say the Angel said, like you
• 58:31
  can do all of those things. There's so you can do the
• 58:33
  literature of the hours and that's very, very good for the
• 58:35
  soul. But you don't have to do that.
• 58:38
  Yeah, exactly. And you can still get to heaven,
• 58:41
  like and be a St. actually, like exactly.
• 58:43
  But and that's so like encouraging to me because I when
• 58:45
  I look at all of the incredible Saints and all the incredible
• 58:48
  prayer practices and even like the rosary, like you've heard
• 58:52
  probably, and I don't I'm curious.
• 58:53
  You're taking this like if you want to like, you know, become
• 58:56
  this like every St. had a deep relationship with Mary and like
• 58:59
  they loved those that had the rosary.
• 59:00
  They loved the rosary. Like can there be a St. that
• 59:03
  didn't pray the rosary? Maybe.
• 59:05
  I'm not saying don't pray the rosary, by the way, pray the
• 59:07
  rosary and Gabby after hours, but but yeah, what's your take
• 59:10
  on that? Yeah, I definitely think it's
• 59:12
  true. I mean, there have been so many
• 59:14
  people where, you know, Saints have gone years at times without
• 59:18
  receiving the Eucharist. There have been Saints who only
• 59:21
  received the Eucharist once in their entire life because there
• 59:24
  wasn't a priest that was able to distribute it to them.
• 59:27
  And we are spoiled. As Catholics today.
• 59:32
  Catholics today, we have so many online resources.
• 59:35
  We have hollow, we have prayer apps, we have churches on almost
• 59:40
  every corner. And even if your church isn't
• 59:43
  the most beautiful or whatever, and it kind of looks like an
• 59:45
  office space or whatever, it's like you still have access to
• 59:48
  Jesus in the Eucharist. You still can go there and sit
• 59:50
  in his presence. A lot of Saints didn't even have
• 59:53
  that, you know, and, and St. Tres of Lasso would constantly
• 59:57
  talk about how her receiving communion was, you know, one of
• 1:00:00
  the most amazing things because it rarely happened.
• 1:00:04
  And you know, there were Saints that went out into the desert
• 1:00:07
  and maybe received communion once every 10 years.
• 1:00:10
  And so even though these things are means of grace, that God,
• 1:00:16
  you know, the rosary and all these things, there, there are
• 1:00:18
  ways for God to distribute his grace to us.
• 1:00:21
  At the end of the day, if we are living in friendship with God,
• 1:00:24
  if we are in a state of grace, if we are doing what is right,
• 1:00:28
  turning away from sin and and genuinely trying, God sees that
• 1:00:32
  he, he understands that. It's one of my priest was giving
• 1:00:35
  a homily a couple weeks ago and he was talking about how when
• 1:00:40
  there's a mortal soul on your sin, if you make the decision to
• 1:00:44
  go to confession, but you're on your way to confession and you
• 1:00:47
  die with a mortal sin on your soul, it's forgiven because God
• 1:00:50
  saw that intention. He knew you were on your way to
• 1:00:53
  confession, that you were going to confess that sin.
• 1:00:55
  So it's forgiven. A lot of times people like to
• 1:00:58
  put God in a box and we don't understand all the ways that God
• 1:01:01
  can work outside that box. Now, that's not to say that
• 1:01:04
  like, oh, I can just live whatever life I want and God
• 1:01:06
  will figure it out for me. Of course, you know, we have to
• 1:01:09
  still follow the narrow path, but too many people despair, and
• 1:01:14
  God is not of despair, He is of joy.
• 1:01:16
  So. I love what you're saying too,
• 1:01:18
  because even like our Protestant brothers and sisters are people
• 1:01:21
  who are maybe they don't even identify as Protestant, but they
• 1:01:24
  want to follow Jesus and there's so much grace you can see and
• 1:01:27
  even fruit in their life. And maybe they've never even
• 1:01:30
  heard about the Eucharist like, but they are clearly living in
• 1:01:33
  friendship with God. There's a their Holy Spirit is
• 1:01:36
  working through them. So you see that God's Spirit is
• 1:01:39
  God can blow wherever he wants to blow, like his spirit can go
• 1:01:42
  wherever it wants to go. And it blesses people like in
• 1:01:45
  the middle of Saudi Arabia who've never heard the name of
• 1:01:47
  Jesus Christ. I mean, there's like stories of
• 1:01:48
  people like having dreams of Jesus Christ and they've never
• 1:01:51
  heard about Jesus before and, and converting.
• 1:01:53
  But that's not to say that like the church, the Catholic Church
• 1:01:58
  is still not the mother. Like this is like our mother
• 1:02:02
  church. And why wouldn't you want to
• 1:02:04
  access the graces of the through the rosary and of course of the
• 1:02:07
  sacraments? Of course, receiving the
• 1:02:08
  Eucharist confession, like you want those graces and that God
• 1:02:12
  uses those graces to bring all people to himself.
• 1:02:15
  He can still work outside of it as well.
• 1:02:17
  So you have this powerful thing where you're like, of course, if
• 1:02:19
  you know like the food is there, go get it.
• 1:02:21
  But just because you don't know the food is there doesn't mean
• 1:02:24
  he won't nourish you. Exactly.
• 1:02:25
  And I think that really does come down to the whole, you
• 1:02:27
  know, no salvation outside the Catholic Church.
• 1:02:29
  It's like if it people get that confused all the time, But if it
• 1:02:32
  has been revealed to you that the Catholic Church is the one
• 1:02:34
  true Church of Christ, which it is, but if it's but if that's
• 1:02:37
  dawned on you and you're like, Oh my gosh, this is the Church
• 1:02:39
  of Christ and you refuse to convert.
• 1:02:41
  There's no salvation outside of it for you.
• 1:02:43
  You can't go anywhere else there.
• 1:02:44
  There's no other place to find it.
• 1:02:47
  But and if you are falling away Catholic, there's no salvation
• 1:02:50
  for you outside the Catholic Church because you are Catholic.
• 1:02:52
  There's nowhere else for you to go.
• 1:02:54
  There's little truths here or there and certain religions, of
• 1:02:57
  course, but the Catholic Church is the only one who has the full
• 1:03:00
  truth and denying that is actively rejecting God.
• 1:03:04
  Now, if you don't know, God's not going to blame you for
• 1:03:08
  something you don't know, you know, but we can still come to
• 1:03:11
  know God through our intellect. You know, we can still know that
• 1:03:13
  he is there by just looking around us.
• 1:03:16
  I mean, the fact that you and I exist is proof that God exists.
• 1:03:20
  Because with I mean, have you seen the body system?
• 1:03:22
  Like have you seen the body, the human body?
• 1:03:24
  Like, you think a Big Bang just created us out of nothing?
• 1:03:28
  No, like it. It took a creator and he made us
• 1:03:30
  in his image. And so it's like God won't
• 1:03:32
  punish you for what you don't know.
• 1:03:34
  But at the same time, we should always strive to be better and
• 1:03:37
  to do more. It's beautiful.
• 1:03:39
  Yeah. It's it's a Catholic.
• 1:03:41
  Faith, man, it's really beautiful communicating.
• 1:03:44
  I mean, I'm being a Catholic communicator right now.
• 1:03:46
  I. Do my best.
• 1:03:47
  But I think it is really, it's simple and people get kind of
• 1:03:51
  wrapped up. You know, they read so many
• 1:03:52
  lives of the Saints. They read so many things and
• 1:03:54
  they're like, I have to do all of this and they don't realize
• 1:03:56
  that. It's like the Saint has a
• 1:03:58
  specific relationship with God, and you can't just take every
• 1:04:02
  single St. to ever exist and cram that into your relationship
• 1:04:04
  with God. You are different.
• 1:04:06
  Saint Thomas Aquinas's relationship with God looked
• 1:04:09
  different from Saint Teresa of Avila's, You know, relationship
• 1:04:13
  with God. You will not have the same
• 1:04:15
  relationship as them, and you can't just combine their
• 1:04:18
  relationships and make it your own.
• 1:04:19
  And also there's a historicity where we don't also know
• 1:04:22
  everything about we don't know the full story about any of the
• 1:04:26
  Saints exactly. We only know what we know.
• 1:04:28
  And so we like can maybe get impressions or ideas about their
• 1:04:32
  faith or their spirituality that might not even be true.
• 1:04:34
  And then apply that to ourselves in a standard, like in a kind of
• 1:04:38
  a weird competition where it's going to be a dead end for us.
• 1:04:41
  Yeah, I like what you said about the competition.
• 1:04:43
  People often times, whether they know it or not, feel like
• 1:04:46
  they're in competition with the Saints.
• 1:04:48
  And it's like, guys, they already won.
• 1:04:49
  So come on, guys. You know, like they're already
• 1:04:52
  in heaven. So.
• 1:04:53
  And it's really not a competition.
• 1:04:56
  You know, so many Saints were friends with each other, and
• 1:04:58
  they all had a unique relationship with each other,
• 1:05:00
  but also with God. And I do believe that too many
• 1:05:05
  people get on themselves about not being able to, you know,
• 1:05:08
  pray the Liturgy of the Hours and go to go to 6:00 AM Mass
• 1:05:11
  and, you know, do all that stuff.
• 1:05:13
  And it's like, maybe that's not calling you to do that.
• 1:05:15
  Maybe God's not calling you to have the life of a priest while
• 1:05:18
  you're a single, you know, person or while you're a married
• 1:05:21
  woman, you know, maybe your prayer life looks different
• 1:05:24
  every day. Maybe it, it doesn't.
• 1:05:26
  It depends on what God is calling you to, not what God has
• 1:05:29
  called, you know, these Saints to or what he's called, you
• 1:05:33
  know, other Catholic content creators to.
• 1:05:35
  And that's another thing. Catholic content creation can
• 1:05:39
  can be the breeding grounds for division as well.
• 1:05:41
  Because people see, I just put out a video a couple days ago
• 1:05:45
  about my updated prayer routine and people were like, Oh my
• 1:05:48
  gosh, I wish I had a prayer life like you.
• 1:05:49
  I wish I had this. I wish I'm like, guys, I
• 1:05:51
  literally said in the video, my prayer life does not look like
• 1:05:53
  this every day. It changes like every month.
• 1:05:57
  Yes, I'm trying to inspire, but you know, there are times where
• 1:06:01
  I fall short. I am not perfect, but people
• 1:06:04
  will automatically in their heads be like, Oh my gosh, she's
• 1:06:06
  so perfect. She does this every day she's
• 1:06:08
  on. No, I don't.
• 1:06:10
  I am not perfect. I don't claim to be perfect.
• 1:06:12
  In fact, I mentioned so many times in almost every video, I'm
• 1:06:14
  like, do your own research, don't just.
• 1:06:17
  Take you probably have a spiritual director.
• 1:06:18
  Right. Yes, I do.
• 1:06:19
  And I think that's another piece that a lot of people maybe miss
• 1:06:23
  with all of the social media stuff that these are all great
• 1:06:25
  inspirations, you know, maybe opportunity be educated about
• 1:06:29
  like different prayers and things that kind of give you a
• 1:06:32
  little encouragement, but you to grow in the spiritual life.
• 1:06:35
  We're not meant to do that alone.
• 1:06:37
  Exactly. Unless you're like physically
• 1:06:39
  called to the desert and even then they weren't fully alone.
• 1:06:41
  They would often like have communion with each other at
• 1:06:43
  least every few years depending on or they receive people to
• 1:06:46
  themselves like in the desert or whatever.
• 1:06:48
  But the point is for folks listening, you're meant to not
• 1:06:50
  do it alone. And having a spiritual guide is
• 1:06:54
  very powerful and so helpful to like just run the inner workings
• 1:06:57
  of your heart in your spirit against and be like, hey, I'm
• 1:06:59
  wrestling with this. And then they can help you like
• 1:07:02
  discern God's voice or give you tools to help you discern God's
• 1:07:04
  voice to say, yeah, for you, your prayer routine is going to
• 1:07:07
  be 10 minutes. Read Holy Scripture and just
• 1:07:10
  like talk to Jesus. Like, like that will be your
• 1:07:13
  beginning prayer routine or whatever it might be.
• 1:07:15
  And that's where that's what will God will meet you in that.
• 1:07:18
  Exactly. And I definitely think, you
• 1:07:20
  know, when you're in this line of work like you or I am, as you
• 1:07:24
  know, we genuinely, we're not infallible, you know, like we
• 1:07:27
  are very fallible. You know, we, we make mistakes
• 1:07:30
  And having being able to be held accountable, but also having a
• 1:07:35
  spiritual director who can tell me if I've said something maybe
• 1:07:39
  out of turn or maybe that's not correct.
• 1:07:40
  And then I go back and I tell people I'm like, hey, in my
• 1:07:43
  previous video, I said this, it's not at all what I meant or
• 1:07:45
  this or that. And trying to correct it.
• 1:07:47
  People respect you so much more if you're willing to admit
• 1:07:50
  mistakes instead of just being like, well, it's their problem.
• 1:07:53
  Like whatever, I didn't mean it like that.
• 1:07:54
  So sorry that offended you. You're like, people really are
• 1:07:58
  hungry for virtue and when they see it in other people, they're
• 1:08:03
  more likely to show it in their life.
• 1:08:05
  And even if it's not a spiritual director, just a priest to be
• 1:08:10
  like, hey, can we get coffee sometime?
• 1:08:12
  Can I talk to you? Or even in confession.
• 1:08:14
  I know that kind of angers some people, but it's like them just
• 1:08:16
  asking advice and being like, Father, I'm struggling with this
• 1:08:19
  sin or I'm struggling with this specific thing.
• 1:08:21
  Do you have any advice for me? All of that's really important
• 1:08:25
  and trusted friends, I mean, are important as well.
• 1:08:28
  And I have multiple accountability partners.
• 1:08:30
  I mean, I have online friends, of course, like Catholic Answers
• 1:08:34
  and Trent Horn, who keep me accountable in a lot of ways.
• 1:08:36
  I have my husband who keeps me accountable.
• 1:08:38
  I have, you know, my team, you know, my manager and everybody
• 1:08:41
  who also keeps me in different areas of, of my, my life.
• 1:08:44
  But you can't do it alone. And I think too many people try
• 1:08:49
  to, and a lot of people try to even do it without God.
• 1:08:52
  They try to do God's work without God.
• 1:08:54
  And I've seen that happen and it never ends well.
• 1:08:57
  But when they welcome God back in, it's, it's just crazy, the
• 1:09:00
  fruits of it. You know when you do it for
• 1:09:02
  Christ and you realize you are a tool in His hands and you are
• 1:09:06
  nothing without Him. Amber, how can I ask you how did
• 1:09:09
  you break free from board addiction?
• 1:09:11
  Yeah. So that that was rough.
• 1:09:15
  I so, yeah, I was exposed to pornography when I was about 12
• 1:09:19
  years old, eleven or 12 years old.
• 1:09:21
  And I was exposed from a boy who was a few years older than me.
• 1:09:26
  We were in orchestra together and I, he was paying attention
• 1:09:31
  to me. And I thought I was like, oh, I
• 1:09:33
  really like that and stuff. And before I knew it was just a
• 1:09:35
  slippery slope of we were sexting and, you know, one thing
• 1:09:39
  led to another and like, I'm a young girl sending pictures and
• 1:09:43
  he's sending, well, he wasn't really sending pictures, but you
• 1:09:46
  know, he taught me a bunch of things that I had no idea about
• 1:09:50
  terminology that I never knew, probably never should have known
• 1:09:54
  that young of a girl, you know, that young.
• 1:09:57
  But it started and that's where my body image issues started
• 1:10:01
  because I realized, oh, if I do XYZI get attention or he likes
• 1:10:06
  me if I do XYZ. So it started training my brain
• 1:10:09
  to be like, OK, you have to act this way, look this way.
• 1:10:13
  So over time, that was just a basis for almost every single
• 1:10:16
  one of my relationships. The, you know, the only one it
• 1:10:20
  wasn't a basis for is the man I'm married to now, of course.
• 1:10:23
  But for every other relationship I had, it was, it was always
• 1:10:27
  based off of, you know, sexting, pornography, just really
• 1:10:31
  horrible things. And granted, I never had sex
• 1:10:34
  outside of marriage, but I, you know, being young, there were so
• 1:10:38
  many opportunities I could have. And it's just a grace that that
• 1:10:42
  never happened. So would you define just to
• 1:10:44
  another interrupt here, but for clarity and because I think it's
• 1:10:47
  actually an important distinction for a lot of people,
• 1:10:51
  because there are a lot of women who struggle with sex addiction
• 1:10:54
  and they but it looks it can look similar to a man's or it
• 1:10:57
  can look different. And it sounds like part of yours
• 1:10:59
  was connected to what is really a phenomenon happening with like
• 1:11:02
  Only Fans, which is effectively the creation, the partaking in
• 1:11:07
  in pornography in part through this sort of creation talk about
• 1:11:11
  sexting. And that's really, would you
• 1:11:13
  say, was that fueling the addiction?
• 1:11:15
  Yeah, it definitely was. I did not like it.
• 1:11:18
  Like I hated it. I thought it was disgusting.
• 1:11:20
  I felt gross afterwards. I was, I was young.
• 1:11:23
  I mean, I was a kid basically. And I was a kid actually.
• 1:11:27
  And yeah, I was fueling it because I didn't know how to
• 1:11:30
  stop, you know, because if this was the basis for my
• 1:11:33
  relationships and this was the only thing that I knew, I never
• 1:11:37
  knew physical intimacy outside of like, just like, well, I
• 1:11:41
  guess it wasn't really physical, but, you know, I didn't know
• 1:11:43
  intimacy in general outside of that.
• 1:11:46
  So to me, that's what I thought romance was.
• 1:11:48
  And I watched all of these, you know, TV shows and movies and
• 1:11:51
  things like Vampire Diaries and all these horrible shows where
• 1:11:56
  it's like the main cell is sex, you know, sex cells.
• 1:11:59
  And so I would see these women be in these positions of just
• 1:12:04
  like, oh, damsel in distress, but like sexy damsel in.
• 1:12:06
  I don't know how to explain that.
• 1:12:08
  And I would just try to like, I would just try to mimic that.
• 1:12:11
  That's so much of only fans today, like that's it's a whole
• 1:12:13
  industry now it. Needs to be banned, it's awful.
• 1:12:16
  Amen. Sad it's so well, it's sad to
• 1:12:18
  see what it's doing to women because women are like, oh, I
• 1:12:20
  need to make money and sex work in general needs to be, but it's
• 1:12:24
  so sad because women are like, oh, I'm so empowered or this or
• 1:12:27
  that. It's like that's not
• 1:12:30
  empowerment. What did you do to break free?
• 1:12:32
  I mean, it sounds like part of it was just not dating these
• 1:12:34
  guys. Is that probably a big part of
• 1:12:36
  it? Yeah, so I was still dating one
• 1:12:38
  of the guys, but when I it was when I reverted back into my
• 1:12:41
  faith, I really kind of drew the line.
• 1:12:44
  I was like, we're not doing this anymore.
• 1:12:46
  We can't, we can't do any of this anymore.
• 1:12:48
  And at first it was like, he was just like, what, why, like blah,
• 1:12:53
  blah, blah. But then he was like, OK, fine,
• 1:12:54
  whatever. But then he always pushed the
• 1:12:56
  boundaries. Always.
• 1:12:58
  And I could not in good conscience do anything with him
• 1:13:01
  because I knew he was going to continue to push those
• 1:13:05
  boundaries. And I could not do anything to
• 1:13:07
  stop him because, you know, that's just, I'm a women
• 1:13:11
  naturally want to be LED, you know, we want to follow.
• 1:13:14
  And so it was hard for me to hold the boundary when I was
• 1:13:17
  constantly being pushed, you know, And so for me, I, I really
• 1:13:22
  had to lay down those boundaries and eventually just completely
• 1:13:25
  like cut off ties with, with that person.
• 1:13:30
  And you know, it, it's difficult.
• 1:13:33
  It was difficult, but then it's just like such a relief when you
• 1:13:38
  find out that it's like, I no longer have to do this.
• 1:13:40
  It's like a choice. It was a grace, I do believe,
• 1:13:44
  because I know there are so many people out there who struggle
• 1:13:46
  with quitting and and they backslide.
• 1:13:48
  I, I just had this grace where I was like, this is awful.
• 1:13:54
  I've been wanting to quit this for forever and now I can.
• 1:13:57
  And even though I could have previously, I didn't have, I
• 1:14:00
  guess the, the strength to do it.
• 1:14:04
  I didn't I, that was all I knew. I didn't know anything else.
• 1:14:07
  And when I finally quit, I was just like, this is a weight off
• 1:14:12
  of me. I no longer feel like I'm a
• 1:14:14
  slave to this. I no longer feel like I have to
• 1:14:16
  do this. And of course, there were times
• 1:14:18
  where I slipped up here, there in the beginning.
• 1:14:19
  I mean, I had just reverted. I, I was just relearning, you
• 1:14:23
  know, all this stuff, but when I went to confession and every
• 1:14:26
  single time I confessed and, and everything and the encouragement
• 1:14:30
  that I, I received from the priests of just being like, you
• 1:14:33
  know what this is, you know, a journey 'cause I would preface
• 1:14:36
  with, you know, I've been away from the faith and I'm
• 1:14:37
  struggling with this addiction. But yeah, it, it was something
• 1:14:41
  that I couldn't completely cut out cold Turkey.
• 1:14:45
  But over time of just going to confession, receiving the
• 1:14:47
  sacraments, receiving encouragement, so many people
• 1:14:51
  are just so scared and, and they're trapped.
• 1:14:53
  They feel trapped 'cause they don't want people to know what
• 1:14:57
  they're doing, what they've done.
• 1:14:58
  They feel embarrassed to go back to, to confession every single
• 1:15:01
  week with the same sin. But in reality like that, God
• 1:15:05
  doesn't want you to live in sin, though, you know, if you make a
• 1:15:08
  mistake, say the act of contrition and, and, and make
• 1:15:10
  amends to go to confession the next time you can.
• 1:15:14
  And through the sacraments, that's how I was able to, to
• 1:15:16
  quit it. And also cutting out TV shows
• 1:15:19
  and movies and, you know, avoiding provocative
• 1:15:23
  entertainment. That was a huge part of it as
• 1:15:25
  well. And then I had a partner who any
• 1:15:29
  time I slipped up, always told them accountability partner who
• 1:15:32
  would check in on me. And then also apps like app
• 1:15:35
  blockers. That was so important.
• 1:15:37
  You need app blockers on your phone.
• 1:15:39
  And Kevin? And Eyes.
• 1:15:40
  Yeah, it's a sponsor. Thank you, Kevin.
• 1:15:42
  And Eyes, Yeah. There you go.
• 1:15:44
  And all those things. All of those things really help.
• 1:15:48
  But you really do have to want it.
• 1:15:50
  You really do have to want to break free.
• 1:15:52
  And I want to be clear here too. If you slip up, that doesn't
• 1:15:57
  mean you don't want it. OK, slipping up is a part of
• 1:15:59
  being human. But if you if you stay there,
• 1:16:04
  you know you can't stay there. You have to get up and you have
• 1:16:07
  to try again. You can't just, you know, roll
• 1:16:09
  around and self loathing. You can't just be like, oh, I'm
• 1:16:11
  so horrible. It's just like, all right, get
• 1:16:13
  up, start again. You know, the Saints didn't get
• 1:16:16
  where they were by self loathing and by by, you know,
• 1:16:19
  continuously just living in sin. They just got better.
• 1:16:23
  You know, they, they continued to follow Christ, even if they
• 1:16:26
  did slip up. They recognize that they they
• 1:16:28
  had problems, but they continued to follow Christ And anytime
• 1:16:34
  that they felt like they slipped up or sin, they went to
• 1:16:36
  confession and they were just back on the narrow path again.
• 1:16:39
  It's again like going back to the whole like it's really that
• 1:16:43
  simple. It really is like don't get down
• 1:16:45
  on yourself. Don't don't start the scruples.
• 1:16:47
  Don't start with the whole like start the scruples.
• 1:16:49
  Yeah, don't start it. It's like via AT shirt, except
• 1:16:53
  don't start the scruples. But it's true, just go to
• 1:16:55
  confession exactly. But sometimes actually you don't
• 1:16:58
  need to go to confession, meaning, and I actually, I was
• 1:17:00
  going to ask you this earlier, talking about mortal sin and the
• 1:17:02
  guy that you know dies on the way to confession in mortal sin,
• 1:17:05
  but like had the intention of confessing and received that and
• 1:17:10
  he had forgiveness for his sins. Can you share your view?
• 1:17:14
  It's not your view. It's just you share it about
• 1:17:17
  mortal sin and what it is. Because I think that also is a,
• 1:17:21
  it's such a freedom when people learn what the church teaches
• 1:17:24
  about sin and it makes so much sense and it brings so much
• 1:17:29
  peace. And it also like works in
• 1:17:31
  lifestyle. Like you're like, oh, I'd like,
• 1:17:33
  yeah, it's good to generally go to confession maybe once a month
• 1:17:36
  if you're not like, having habitual mortal sin issues or
• 1:17:39
  maybe every few weeks. You can even go weekly.
• 1:17:41
  But this is how you confess. And this is what to confess.
• 1:17:43
  And then this is V Nielsen. And this is moral sin.
• 1:17:45
  So break it down because I know this is something you talk
• 1:17:47
  about. Break it down.
• 1:17:48
  Break it down. Yeah.
• 1:17:49
  So yes, so mortal sin here's the best thing is like just having
• 1:17:54
  these rules is so helpful. Mortal sin requires 3 specific
• 1:17:57
  things. The first one is there needs to
• 1:17:59
  be grave matter. So that means a mortal sin is
• 1:18:03
  like OK, murder or masturbation, pornography, abortion.
• 1:18:08
  It has to it has to be some sort of evil.
• 1:18:11
  The second thing is you have to have full knowledge that this
• 1:18:14
  thing is evil. And then the third thing is you
• 1:18:16
  have to have full consent. You have to know what you are
• 1:18:19
  doing is bad and you need to willingly go through with it
• 1:18:23
  knowing that it's a sin, knowing it's bad, knowing its grave
• 1:18:25
  matter and doing it anyways. So that requires basically our
• 1:18:30
  complete free will. If any one of those three things
• 1:18:32
  is missing, it's a venial sin because you are not fully in
• 1:18:36
  control if one of those three things is missing.
• 1:18:40
  So when it's a venial sin, you can be forgiven by prayerfully
• 1:18:45
  saying the Our Father. You can do an act of contrition
• 1:18:48
  and that will forgive venial sins and.
• 1:18:51
  An act of contrition, by the way, could literally just be,
• 1:18:53
  I'm sorry, God. Yes, yes, it doesn't have to be
• 1:18:55
  this long. Fancy like too Latin prayer just
• 1:18:58
  like I'm, you know, meaning there's an acknowledgement it
• 1:19:00
  was wrong and there was a movement of the heart to God for
• 1:19:03
  exactly to ask for forgiveness for it.
• 1:19:05
  Yeah, and I think, you know, people are like, what if I don't
• 1:19:08
  feel sorry for my sins? Just keep trying.
• 1:19:10
  Just keep trying, ask Our Lady of Sorrows for help, honestly,
• 1:19:13
  to feel full contrition for your sins.
• 1:19:15
  And one of the priests who we go to confession with every time,
• 1:19:19
  like when he, you know, you kneel down and he starts the,
• 1:19:22
  the right, he'll say may, May you feel complete and full
• 1:19:26
  contrition and sorrow for your sins before he starts so that
• 1:19:29
  you can kind of bring that to mind as you're confessing.
• 1:19:32
  And hopefully you really do feel sorrow for those.
• 1:19:36
  But yeah, if you have a venial sin, you can pray, you know,
• 1:19:39
  pray an act of contrition or do or do your own version.
• 1:19:41
  Of course, pray in our Father. It's also forgiven when you
• 1:19:45
  receive the Eucharist when you're in mortal sin.
• 1:19:48
  It's actually sacrilegious to receive the Eucharist if you're
• 1:19:51
  knowingly in mortal sin. You have to go to confession
• 1:19:53
  first because God does not deserve to be in an unclean
• 1:19:58
  vessel, so to speak. So we should be in a state of
• 1:20:02
  grace when receiving but. And Saint Paul talks about this
• 1:20:05
  like there are deadly sins, mortal sins.
• 1:20:08
  Fornication is one of them. As an example, drunkenness, I
• 1:20:11
  think he mentions as one of them.
• 1:20:12
  If you go over the top like you can, you can take something like
• 1:20:15
  drinking a little bit, it's fine.
• 1:20:16
  But if you get like you're, you're out drunk and you're
• 1:20:19
  raging and you can injure somebody or injure yourself,
• 1:20:22
  that would be a a serious sin. Yes, and there's, you know,
• 1:20:25
  there's the the bulldog Catholic has an act of contrition or I'm
• 1:20:29
  sorry, a examination of conscience.
• 1:20:32
  And you can go through and see all of the mortal sins.
• 1:20:34
  Some are venial sins, of course, but again, it requires an evil
• 1:20:38
  act of, of some kind. And it could be very difficult
• 1:20:43
  for people to, with scrupulosity, especially to
• 1:20:45
  differentiate the two. And that's why I always stress
• 1:20:48
  the three rules. It's like full knowledge.
• 1:20:51
  It has to be like mortal, like a, you know, evil and full
• 1:20:55
  consent. If you don't have one of those,
• 1:20:57
  it's venial. It's like it's OK, just deep
• 1:20:59
  breath, go to confession. And when you do go to
• 1:21:01
  confession, when you struggle with scrupulosity, you shouldn't
• 1:21:04
  be going to confession any more than once every two weeks.
• 1:21:08
  Any more than that and you should not be priest shopping,
• 1:21:11
  which is where they go to different priests and they
• 1:21:14
  confess the same sins over again because they're like, well, I
• 1:21:16
  didn't feel like that penance was like harsh enough, so I need
• 1:21:19
  to go to this priest who's going to give me a harsher penance.
• 1:21:21
  It's like, that's not how it works.
• 1:21:22
  You have to trust in God's mercy and understand that if you have
• 1:21:26
  a mortal sin, yes, you know, go to confession as soon as you
• 1:21:29
  can. If you commit the mortal sin and
• 1:21:32
  then you do your little act of contrition and things and you're
• 1:21:35
  like, you know what, I'm going to go to confession on this day
• 1:21:37
  at this time and you have that that's that's great.
• 1:21:41
  And you and you should go. You have venial sins.
• 1:21:43
  Those are forgiven at Mass on Sundays.
• 1:21:45
  If you do the, you know, active or the confitior active
• 1:21:49
  contrition and then the, you know, our Father receiving the
• 1:21:53
  Eucharist. But either way, I do think you
• 1:21:57
  know, it's great when if you do have a mortal sin on your soul
• 1:22:00
  and you go to confession, I think it's good to confess the
• 1:22:02
  venial ones as well, because the venial ones really can pile up
• 1:22:05
  and snowball into the bigger ones.
• 1:22:07
  Do you have a sense that Gen. Z and I know when you post
• 1:22:11
  content, people of all ages are can see it and interact with it,
• 1:22:14
  but a lot of it, you know, you're Gen.
• 1:22:15
  ZA lot of Gen. Z folks are, I'm guessing going
• 1:22:18
  to follow you online. Surely some millennials there's
• 1:22:21
  like overlap, but do you? I have a sense because I have
• 1:22:24
  this sense. I'm curious what you think is a
• 1:22:26
  leading question, but that there is a relationship with sin that
• 1:22:31
  like relationship with we all have a relationship with, but
• 1:22:34
  there's a confusion about what sin is, especially among younger
• 1:22:38
  people today. And this doesn't sound that
• 1:22:40
  original of an idea because it's like, you know, the the older
• 1:22:43
  generations are like, well, you knew what was wrong to do that.
• 1:22:45
  And then there's a sexual revolution that happened and
• 1:22:47
  people are just confused like, Oh, it's a sin to live with my
• 1:22:49
  boyfriend. But I think even particularly my
• 1:22:53
  my sense of it is, is Gen. ZI could be wrong.
• 1:22:55
  I'm curious your take just as an example, I got this message on
• 1:22:58
  Instagram from a young girl saying, thank you so much for
• 1:23:01
  explaining that sex outside of marriage is wrong.
• 1:23:03
  I'm Catholic. I didn't realize how that it was
• 1:23:06
  serious and to live with my boyfriend and I was just like
• 1:23:10
  how I love that I got this message.
• 1:23:12
  I'm glad you know now, but how are how is there so much
• 1:23:15
  confusion? Like someone could be raised in
• 1:23:17
  the church and still have confusion that sex before
• 1:23:19
  marriage, living with your significant other is wrong?
• 1:23:22
  Yeah, it's, you know, I think I had that too.
• 1:23:26
  And I was, you know, I was catechized by one of the most
• 1:23:29
  beautiful, well known churches in Chicago.
• 1:23:32
  You know, I I went to Canches and I had my, you know, first
• 1:23:36
  communion and my confirmation there, but I was still poorly
• 1:23:39
  catechized. And it wasn't necessarily their
• 1:23:41
  fault, but I wasn't accepting the information that was given
• 1:23:44
  because I was too young and I wasn't really getting it in the
• 1:23:47
  home. And I think it really does start
• 1:23:49
  in the home. If the parents are not living a
• 1:23:52
  virtuous Catholic life and consistently answering their
• 1:23:55
  children's questions about the faith with instead of just like
• 1:23:58
  because we do or just because that's tradition.
• 1:24:01
  It's like, no, what, why do we believe this?
• 1:24:04
  And that's something I didn't have, I didn't have.
• 1:24:06
  Whenever I ask questions, I'm like, why this, why that?
• 1:24:08
  I always got because we do, because because of this.
• 1:24:10
  And I'm just like, but that doesn't make sense.
• 1:24:12
  As a kid, I was just like, OK, but why do it if there's no
• 1:24:14
  reason to do it? And so I think there is a level
• 1:24:19
  of poor catechesis, but also there's a level of parents
• 1:24:23
  giving up being, you know, the, the, the church, right?
• 1:24:27
  Because there there is the domestic church, which is the
• 1:24:30
  home. Meaning they're offloading, yes,
• 1:24:32
  the responsibility to the parish and they're not if they are at
• 1:24:35
  church attending or even the school if they're not church
• 1:24:37
  attending. Just like education in general,
• 1:24:39
  Yeah, instead of taking responsibility for it.
• 1:24:40
  Exactly. And the amount of times I have
• 1:24:43
  seen that with the younger generation where I'm like, I
• 1:24:47
  never would have known you guys were Catholic.
• 1:24:49
  They're like, Oh yeah, we go to Mass on Sundays, no Catholic
• 1:24:51
  imagery anywhere, no rosaries, kids don't know how to pray.
• 1:24:55
  And I was like, OK, well, we're going to fix that.
• 1:24:57
  Cause like, you know, I was a babysitter.
• 1:24:59
  That's what I do. But yeah, it's, it's crazy to
• 1:25:03
  see how parents just kind of give it up.
• 1:25:04
  But I think it's a because parents outsource already so
• 1:25:08
  much. What's one more thing?
• 1:25:10
  They outsource schooling, right? They send their kids to school,
• 1:25:13
  which granted, if that's the right decision, that's the right
• 1:25:15
  decision. But if your family's suffering
• 1:25:19
  and it's not the right decision, you as a parent are responsible
• 1:25:22
  to make the right decision for your family.
• 1:25:25
  And if both parents are working, but the family is suffering
• 1:25:28
  because of that, you have to figure out how one parent can
• 1:25:32
  stay home. There are so many things where
• 1:25:34
  parents outsource that. So they're like, OK, well let's
• 1:25:36
  get a nanny. Let's send the kids to school.
• 1:25:38
  Let's do this. They outsource so much that
• 1:25:40
  everyone else becomes the parent and they become the fill in.
• 1:25:44
  And the kids don't respect their parents anymore.
• 1:25:46
  So anything their parents have to teach them, they're like, Oh
• 1:25:48
  well, my teacher knows more. Well you can also have kids that
• 1:25:50
  don't respect you and be with them 24/7.
• 1:25:52
  Very true. So it's a lot of it is very
• 1:25:54
  true, just as the art of parenting, I think is really not
• 1:25:59
  really generationally passed down, especially if you didn't
• 1:26:02
  have parents who practiced the art of parenting.
• 1:26:04
  Like how do you learn how to parent when you weren't maybe
• 1:26:06
  parented in the optimal way? And then you have to like build
• 1:26:10
  that in, you have to do that work.
• 1:26:11
  And that's, that's intense work. It takes time, it takes like
• 1:26:14
  focus, it takes attention. That's a very good point because
• 1:26:18
  I think there's these two extremes, right?
• 1:26:21
  Millennials are, are are part of it.
• 1:26:22
  Gen. Z are a part of it, where
• 1:26:24
  millennials were mostly raised with religion.
• 1:26:26
  So they're like, I don't want to raise my kid with any religion
• 1:26:28
  now because it was pushed on me. And Gen.
• 1:26:30
  Z is like, well, I wasn't raised with any religion.
• 1:26:32
  So now I'm just going to go find whatever I can, which is usually
• 1:26:34
  the occult or Wicca. And so yeah, that's a very good
• 1:26:38
  point because at the end of the day, parenting is not meant to
• 1:26:40
  be easy. It's very difficult work and you
• 1:26:44
  have to do what's right for your family and what looks right for
• 1:26:46
  your family. It's not right for another
• 1:26:48
  person's family. But at the end of the day, this
• 1:26:51
  them giving up the domestic church and really kind of
• 1:26:54
  placing that on other people for their kids to learn from.
• 1:26:58
  Yes, go to Mass. Yes, put them in, you know,
• 1:27:01
  Bible studies or, or that type of thing.
• 1:27:03
  But if you can't answer their basic questions about the faith,
• 1:27:07
  I mean that that's bad. I mean, they they need to be
• 1:27:10
  able to go to you with their questions about the faith and be
• 1:27:13
  like, dad, mom, what, why do we do this?
• 1:27:15
  Or what's confession? It doesn't always mean they're
• 1:27:17
  going to believe what you say or or anything, but it means that
• 1:27:19
  they feel comfortable enough to ask you and that you have the
• 1:27:22
  answer for. You are so ready to go when you
• 1:27:24
  have kids. Ever.
• 1:27:24
  You're like so exciting. It's cool.
• 1:27:26
  I've got my catechism here. Yeah, I make 10 Youtubes about
• 1:27:30
  this already. You're going to get it.
• 1:27:32
  You're going to get a personal YouTube right now.
• 1:27:33
  Yes, exactly. And I think that's like the best
• 1:27:36
  part because, you know, not only are my husband and I very
• 1:27:40
  knowledgeable about the faith, but it's like we constantly talk
• 1:27:43
  about it with each other. And I think that's important is
• 1:27:46
  I know too many couples who have told me they're like, well, how
• 1:27:49
  can we grow deeper in the faith? I'm like, well, did you guys
• 1:27:51
  ever just talk about it? Do you guys ever just talk about
• 1:27:53
  your prayer life, talk about what God's done for you?
• 1:27:55
  And they're like, no, like usually we talk about a reading
• 1:27:59
  or something. I'm like, that's great.
• 1:28:00
  That's great that you guys talk about that, but what how does
• 1:28:02
  God affect your life? What has God done for you?
• 1:28:05
  What are some some things you have?
• 1:28:07
  What are your dreams? What are your hopes?
• 1:28:09
  All of these ways to connect with your spouse or or your
• 1:28:12
  significant other in general are just so important.
• 1:28:14
  And if this, if the parents are not, you know, on fire for the
• 1:28:20
  faith with each other. I'm not saying it can't happen.
• 1:28:22
  Of course it can that, that the kids stay with the faith and,
• 1:28:24
  and are raised Catholic and that's amazing.
• 1:28:27
  But it does make it a lot easier for the kids to understand the
• 1:28:30
  faith when both parents can discuss it between themselves
• 1:28:33
  and the kid can come into the conversation instead of the kid
• 1:28:36
  consistently initiating the conversation with the faith.
• 1:28:40
  I've seen that a lot. I've gotten so many questions
• 1:28:42
  from the kids and, you know, not mine.
• 1:28:44
  Of course I babysit, but, and, and they're just the sweetest
• 1:28:48
  and everything, but they never get any catechesis or they never
• 1:28:52
  get to talk about the faith. So when I'm over, it's just like
• 1:28:55
  consistent questions about the faith.
• 1:28:57
  And it's just like they always they want to know.
• 1:28:59
  Well, you also have a gift. Oh thank you to communicate it,
• 1:29:02
  but. You're like 5, but yeah, well.
• 1:29:05
  You know, that's that's a gift right there because being able
• 1:29:09
  to keep it effective and clear and like hit the heart, that's
• 1:29:14
  so needed for of kids of all ages.
• 1:29:16
  Yes, everyone needs to be evangelized, including us.
• 1:29:20
  Yes. Oh, I found that out.
• 1:29:22
  I was just like, I, I recently was with a group and I'm doing a
• 1:29:28
  one-on-one kind of, it's not spiritual direction.
• 1:29:30
  It's just kind of like hanging out, talking about the faith
• 1:29:32
  type of thing, reading books and talking about how our faith
• 1:29:35
  feeds into our ministries. And I never realized how much I
• 1:29:38
  needed somebody to just bounce ideas off of that are like
• 1:29:42
  Catholic, just not, not ministry ideas, just like, hey, you know,
• 1:29:45
  I had this, you know, idea for, for a video and that led me to
• 1:29:50
  this. And you know, that led me to
• 1:29:52
  like this mental prayer thing and just having a community that
• 1:29:55
  doesn't look up to you, but you can look up to that person and
• 1:29:58
  just be like, what should I do with this or what?
• 1:30:00
  Because usually I'm, I'm the source of authority for a lot of
• 1:30:02
  people, which obviously the church should be, but a lot of
• 1:30:05
  people come to me for a lot of questions, but I have nobody to
• 1:30:08
  go to. And so now I do have that.
• 1:30:10
  I mean, obviously I have my spiritual director, but I meet
• 1:30:12
  with him like once every two months because that's what
• 1:30:15
  meeting like. Spiritual friends who are really
• 1:30:17
  peers that you can learn from. Yes, that's a better way of
• 1:30:19
  putting it, yes. I mean, that is priceless and it
• 1:30:22
  can be hard to find, but if you've got it, but you've got to
• 1:30:25
  make time for it. And so that I think that's what
• 1:30:27
  you're saying you made, you're making time for that where
• 1:30:30
  you're not like scheduling a YouTube video or like doing like
• 1:30:33
  a mentor session or you're actually just being friends.
• 1:30:37
  Exactly. On the deepest level, like not
• 1:30:39
  just friends, like let's go watch a movie together, which is
• 1:30:42
  fine. I mean, yeah, it's definitely
• 1:30:44
  nice to have those casual friendships, but to have someone
• 1:30:47
  who you can ask advice from and be like, hey, what do you think
• 1:30:50
  about this? And obviously I can do that with
• 1:30:52
  my spiritual director, but. Friendships.
• 1:30:53
  Yeah, yeah. Some of the two of my best
• 1:30:56
  girlfriends, we would do these retreats before we got married
• 1:30:58
  where we go and hang out at, like our parents had this, like,
• 1:31:02
  rental share and some little part of Florida.
• 1:31:04
  So like, hang out not by the beach, but kind of by the beach
• 1:31:07
  anyways. But we would go and we'd watch
• 1:31:09
  movies, we get nails, we do girl things, and then we just pray
• 1:31:12
  and talk about the faith and mix it all together.
• 1:31:15
  And honestly, some of the most formative things of my life, to
• 1:31:18
  have friendships like that that are focused on the faith.
• 1:31:21
  I mean, we need community. I mean, we talked about that.
• 1:31:23
  You can't do this alone. And you know, Saints make Saints
• 1:31:26
  like iron sharpens iron. We need each other.
• 1:31:28
  I mean, Saint Francis of Assisi and Saint Clair and Saint Agnes.
• 1:31:32
  I mean, Saint Clair and Saint Agnes were sisters, but they
• 1:31:34
  were all friends. Like Saint Francis helped them
• 1:31:35
  get into the convent. Like we need each other, you
• 1:31:38
  know? We can't.
• 1:31:39
  Yeah. We can't do this alone.
• 1:31:41
  Not at all. It's hard.
• 1:31:42
  Thanks, Amber. Of course, thanks for
• 1:31:44
  encouraging me today. I try.
• 1:31:46
  We're doing it together. You always need a little bit I I
• 1:31:49
  don't know, a little pick me up is is always helpful for sure.
• 1:31:52
  Where can people find your work in your ministry?
• 1:31:55
  Yes, so I am the religious hippie on basically everything
• 1:31:58
  except for Tiktok because we established that already.
• 1:32:02
  So yeah, you can find me on X, you can go to my website at the
• 1:32:05
  religious hippie.com. I do talks and you can find my
• 1:32:09
  podcast, A Catholics perspective.
• 1:32:11
  And yeah, I'm just the religious hippie everywhere else.
• 1:32:12
  So yeah. Thank you, Amber.
• 1:32:14
  Thank you for having. Me keep it up.
• 1:32:15
  Thank you so much. It's a.
• 1:32:16
  Beautiful ministry. I appreciate it.
• 1:32:18
  Thank you, Thank you to our partner, EWTN.
• 1:32:21
  EWTN is the largest religious network, reaching millions of
• 1:32:25
  people with the truth of the faith, entertainment and news.
• 1:32:29
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