Latest / HAIstoric Phonograph — irreverent dispatches from a history that never quite happened
GOD IS DAMP, POPE DECLARES AFTER MONKS GET HIGH ON BAD MEAD
Send us Fan MailA single batch of hallucinogenic hooch rewrites a thousand years of theology, leaving the Church—and its holiest relics—uncomfortably moist. Oh, sweet Innocent III’s famously fertile niece, you want to hear about Brother Thaddeus? Of course you do. By the soggy Shroud of Turin, what a mess that was. See, over at the Abbey of St. Giles the Gassy—a dreary little pile of stones in Flanders, mostly known for the Abbot’s prodigious flatulence—they had this one monk, Thaddeus, who was so pious he’d probably confess to having a lustful thought about a particularly shapely turnip. A…
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