Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Uplift: She tells you how to navigate workplace fears: job security, performance anxiety, and change.

Transcript

Uplift: She tells you how to navigate workplace fears: job security, performance anxiety, and change. · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Rashaan McDonald, a host of the weekly Money
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Making Conversation Masterclass show. The interviews and information that this
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: show provides off for everyone. It's time to stop reading
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: other people's success stories and start living your own.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: If you want to be.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: A guest on my show, please visit our website, Moneymakingconversations
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: dot com and click the.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Be a Guest button. Now let's get started.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: My guest is the visionary founder and CEO of a
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: pre eminent employee engagement and workplace culture consulting firm to
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: fortune one hundred companies. She has personally read over thirty
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: thousand employee surveys and facilitated over one hundred employee focused groups,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: including her signature art of active listening sessions. Please welcome
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: to the Money Making Conversation Masterclass. Heather Younger. How are
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: you doing, Heather?
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: I'm doing great. Thanks for having me.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: First word, Heather, you know, kind of low key now,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I've seen your picture energetic and everything is a long
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: day person.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get a.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Low key Heather. I've seen operation I'm on YouTube, I've
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: seen Ted Eggs. You doing, Yeah, it's been a long day. Brother,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: you get what you get. You get what you get, brother,
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: get what you get.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: That's hilarious. Pop off. I'm gonna impart some wisdom, so
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: you know, let's just get to it.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Come.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: You gotta inspire me, you know, because of the fact
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: that you know, I'm a fan, because of the fact
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: that you know what you do.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: You do your research and.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Uh and I don't know everybody, but then if I
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: want to know something about somebody, the beauty of googling
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: somebody's name and then it just pop up and go.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: While she's running around the room, she's touching people, she's
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: on stage, she's hopping around. Heah rashean. How you doing that?
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Brother? Yeah, yeah, I can't. I can't touch you the
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: phone call, you know, no, no, no, But.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: You can touch me with that ended you though, So
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: tell everybody about your Heather. You know, I've done my
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: research on you. Let everybody know a little bit about
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: you before we get into all those great things I
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: said about you. Reading thirty thous employee surveys and facilitating
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: over one hundred employee focused group. That's a lot of
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: stuff and you have to have a lot of energy
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: to pull that off.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I'm driven to be honest. I'm driven
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: to be the voice for those who don't really have
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: a voice, and oftentimes that's the employee. Especially, oh my goodness,
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: in this current workplace environment where you see what's happening
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: in the government, where I think there's just a lot
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: of people who feel helpless and hopeless, and by the
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: way they have it's a historical thing that whole the
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: imbalance of power between employer and employee is massive, and
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I saw a firsthand when I was working in an
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: organization and had gone through with a big merger of
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: companies and I'm in the middle of it, and I'm
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: feeling stuck. I'm feeling, like I always call it, stuck
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: in the muck, and I felt I felt stuck, like
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: I was being dragged down like everybody else in that
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: whole merger, because everybody kept sniffing around making sense that
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: there was going to be a lay off or something
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: going on. And so it was in that whole merged
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: environment where I felt stuck where I decided I needed
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: to be. I needed to be kind of like the
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: change out of seeking because no one's going to be
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: there to save me. I needed to go to save
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: myself and help them save other people. And so I
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: kind of took it by myself to create an employ
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: engagement council, creating kind a space for people to talk
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: about about what was happening, to listen to on another
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: to figure out how we can strategize to make the
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: merger more successful. But in that process, there was a layoff,
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: and I was one of the people at two hundred
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: people laid off, and I just realized in that moment
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: that I needed to be the person of kind of
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: like this voice of reason, the voice who can synth
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: aside all this stuff. I just you know that you
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: just said, I did into into like a palatable path
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: like action steps that somebody can go take. So all
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: those you know, jumping on and off stages and them
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: doing the books and all those things that you're just
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: talking about, those are all just my gosh, a calling.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: I have to give back to the world to like leaders,
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: to people in power, to help impart to them what
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: it is they could do and how much how much
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: power they're giving away positive power, not the negative, yucky
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: stuff we see, but the real positive power. And so
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: that's why this whole this movement now toward self leadership
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: is critical to me, you know, helping people understand that.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Let measure this, Heather, because you know, layoffs, a person
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: being laid off and a person being fired are two
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: distinct emotions, you know, And I was. I got laid
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: off one time, my very first job at burger King
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: and laid me off. Guy came in and he said,
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I thought I was making the best burgers in the world.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: He said, Richard, can you come back. We need to talk.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I said, yes, sir, yes, sir, yes, sir.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: He said, we got to lay off.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: I remember when he said it to me. I slid
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: down the wall. I was in tears, and he said,
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: you did nothing wrong. But I but and I think
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: that's the part of being laid off is that it's
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: not you've done nothing wrong and people have changed your life,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: where when you get terminated, I would tell people people
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: will get fired. No, they are going to get fired.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: They're just waiting for you to make the decisions. That's
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: no joke about that. People will getting fired know they're
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: going to be fired, and they just I don't know
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: when they're gonna pull this trigger.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: But guess what, I'm gonna keep coming in until they do.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: Coming.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, talk about that emotional window.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: We you start talking about leadership and being in the
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: in the role of HR or is there a modern
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: role for HR or what you're doing is replacing or
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: empowering people beyond HR.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean HR. I mean I love HR people
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: because I do believe deep down their hearts there. But
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: they do have a complicated role because they're representing both
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: the company and they have to be there to be
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: looking for the well being and the team members the employees.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: They are there so they're in a untental position. They're
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: not just there as advocates for the employees. They have
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: to do both. So I here's how I look at it,
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: being having kind of a rougher journey early on in
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: my career and then and in my personal life and
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: then kind of coming through that. Uh, I ain't nobody
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: coming to save me, and in the workplace, no one's
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: coming to save you, HR included. You have to be
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: the person who makes the choices that serve you best,
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: because no one else is going to make the better
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: decision to serve you best. Now, when we think about
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: that emotional side of for example, layoff and you know,
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: being terminated, I've been in both situations only once each time,
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: one when I was much younger, and then the other
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: one maybe like within the last ten years. And I
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: can tell you and that you talked about like knowing
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: that it's coming. I knew that both were coming next
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: because I tend to be like a little bit more
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: of a socially aware person, so I'm aware of what's
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: going on in the environment and I can feel something
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: in my gut each time. But I do have to
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: say that there's more shame associated with determination. Then there's
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: the left with the laft. You do feel shame, but
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: at the same time, because you understand you didn't have
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: a hand in it, like there was nothing you could
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: have done to change the situation, then there's a little
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: bit less shame involved. But I do think that sense
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: of powerlessness exists in both situations where you just you're
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: you're at a loss and you're like, what am I
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: going to do? How am I going to get out
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: of this? And again being got stuck in the muck
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: mindset is there, And I here's what I say. I say,
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: allow yourself to have those emotions as you're in those spots,
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: but at some point you got to give yourself a
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: cut off. I call it the switch. I call it
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: the switch in my head that says, Okay, those thoughts
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: that are stopping me, making me feeling like I'm like
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: a loser, like I'm ashamed of myself and who I
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: am don't serve me. They don't serve me. So I've
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: got to get out of my own way. I got
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: to flip the switch in my head to more rational
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: thoughts that serve me. So in that situation that layoff
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: earlier in my mind, I was like, I looked over,
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: I looked outside of myself, stood on the outside, looked
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: back at that situation. I said, you know what, I
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: learned a lot there. I learned tech there that I
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: never knew. I met my best friend there. I got
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: a severance there which allows me to be the person
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: jumping off all the states, all those things you're talking
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: about right right. But if I didn't give myself the
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: time to sit in the muck for a second and
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: then get out of the muck and look at myself
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: and go, wait a second, you're a better person because
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: of all this, and then you're stronger.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: But let me ask you this, Let me ask you this.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Heather I'm speaking to Heather Younger and just her whole
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: concept of being able to show leadership and and value.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Now the workplace environment, that's this average person. I know
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: there's an explosion for small businesses and the entrepreneurial spirit,
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: but how to effectively navigate workplace fears. I'm talking about
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: job security, performance, anxiety change. How can someone do that?
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: When you wake up in the morning, you know there's uncertainty,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: how do you deal with that on a forty hour
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: week job that you know you need.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this is one thing I'm going to say to
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: those are listening. It's been a long time since I've
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: worked at kind of like the at fast food or
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: at most of my job. I've been now for the
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: last many year, like let's say, since twenty seventeen, working
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: on my own as an entrepreneur. Before that, I worked
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: in the public sector in a director level position, and
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: I've kind of have been majority of my career in
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: that director level. I've had one time when I was
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: a stint and I was a more senior, but I've
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: been in that like you know, like mid level manager.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: So it's been a long long time since I've been
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: on the front line. So The reason why I try
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: to keep connected and doing all those employee focus groups
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: and listen to doing these surveys is to keep a
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: connection to the people doing the work on the ground.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: So I haven't lived it in my own shoes for
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: a long while, but I try to understand it by
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: talking to the people who are doing it. So I
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: just that's one thing I do want to say. But
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: I think the very first thing we should do is
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: before going to even bed at night, so you get
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: them that long day. I think the number one thing
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: we do is should come home, find paper, a journal,
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: do something and write down the things that went well
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: that day, and also write down the things you felt
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: like you were in most control or had the most
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: influence over that day. Because I feel like if we
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: go to bed with that understanding of what we can control,
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: we can influence what we're grateful for. We wake up
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: the next day with a little bit less fear, a
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: little bit less of the anxiety that's there. I actually
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: struggle with anxiety. So I have to do things like
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: go outside and do walks in the sunshine. I would
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: go with my dogs. I have to do that breathing,
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: and I have to play games with myself on my head.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: So been there, done that, and have written books and
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: done talks on this idea right of all this anxiety
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: that happens with these day to day work environment situations.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: And I think the other thing is if you can
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: take on this tool called reframing, and psychologists use reframing
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: a lot to help people who are really having a
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: hard time of struggling. And what I like to think
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: of it, I say reframing. It is being intentional about reframing.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: So reframing just says I'm going to take a negative
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: situation and look, maybe something that's even irrational, and I'm
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: going to turn it into more rational thinking. So for me,
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: in that place where the layoffs, I was like, was
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: that freaking out, get a job, all the things right?
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: And then I got to the point again I got
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: sick of myself. I stepped over that threshold of those
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: thoughts that were irrational, and I said, wait a second, Okay, nope,
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: good things happen, Nope, look I'm at look possibilities. So
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: I allowed myself that time to feel crazed, and then
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: I got out of it and said, okay, let's think
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: a different well, let's go a different direction. But I
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: had to be really intentional, and so I would say
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: that you have to fight tooth and nail for your
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: own mental space. Like don't don't wait for a boss, manager,
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: a spouse, a sister, a sibling to be the one
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: that helps you out of that. You have to do
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: it for you. So be really hyper intentional at night,
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: end it positive in the morning. Again, you should wake
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: up a little bit more refreshed. Don't forget to get
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: enough sleep, don't forget to drink enough water. Like this
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: is this is not something that costs a lot of money.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: But the sleeping and the water and the basic things
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: that we all can do are the things that get
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: us in the right headspace together to make the right
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: decisions for the very next day.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Wow, this is Heather Younger. Now this is not the
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: head the younger that that came on, you know, saying.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: You won't be jumping.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: This is the one I see on YouTube. This is
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: the one I see going around the rooms. You know,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: the truths inspiring you before we go to break tell
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: them about your website and then we come back and
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: your company and then we we'll come back, and I
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: want to ask you the five ways fears holding you
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: back professionally.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: But before we do that, website and naming your.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: Company Heatheryonger dot com is probably the best website. Gives
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: you a lot of stuff about me there, and I
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: think it's following me on LinkedIn as the best way
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: just to kind of get a hold of me and
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: reach out because I'm always there. I'm always on there,
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: So that's what I would say. Heather Younger, and.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: She's always on that. She's always on that, and she's
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: always on YouTube. She's always talking. She's somewhere talking all
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: the time. Heather Younger is always talking because she is
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: the bomb. And this is Racheon McDonald and you're listening
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: to money Making Conversations Masterclass.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Don't go into web, We'll be right back.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: Please don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with more
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: money Making Conversations Masterclass. Welcome back to the Money Making
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: converse Sations Masterclass, hosted by Rashan MacDonald. Money Making Conversations
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: Masterclass continues online at Moneymakingconversations dot com and follow money
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: Making Conversations Masterclass on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: My guest is divisionary founder and CEO of a preeminent
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: employee engagement and workplace.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Let me just stop right there.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: She is an individual that gets it. She gets it
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: from a personal standpoint. She's an honest person from a standpoint.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: She shares stories about herself. I think that's the only
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: way you can be authentic is that she's not perfect,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: and she says that in a book. She's an award
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: winning author. But more importantly, she's a motivator who when
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: you hear her speak, when you see her in person,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: you will see a part of you in her.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: You see a part of.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Her experience that you have shared. And I think that's
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: what makes Heather Younger the unique talent that she is
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: in this industry. Because age does matter and it impacts
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: a lot of people. Fear does matter and it impacts
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: a lot of people. And as we come back Heather, fear,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: you know, fear stopped a lot of people from pursuing
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: dreams people. Fears stopped a lot of people from pursuing
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: the right relationship.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: What are the five ways of fears.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Holding you back, oh people back professionally that you can
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: share with us on this show today.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think if we're talking really about kind
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: of the things that we do in this space of hear. So,
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: for example, sometimes fear of feedback is something that they
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: will hold people back because if they don't want to
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: take a move, they don't want to move forward, they
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: don't want to do the next thing because they're afraid
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: of what someone might say, or they don't even want
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: to ask for feedback because they don't want to even
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: do anything about it, or they again don't know what
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: the person's going to say, are assuming the worst about
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: themselves and aren't realizing that feedback itself is a gift.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: It's a gift, even if it's constructive, even if it
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: hurts a little bit, it's still a gift. And so
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: I think that's one air where fear could be holding
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: you back because again it's the fear of the next thing. Also, oftentimes,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: you know, we don't know if we're going to get
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: in trouble for something, so it's like fear of retribution,
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: fear fear of somebody of getting in trouble for the
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: for doing a step. Fear of speaking up is another
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: one where we don't want to use our voices, We
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: don't want to be we don't want to present a
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: dissenting opinion or say something calender to somebody who's in
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: power or in authority, because again we're gonna we think,
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: we don't know what they're gonna say, are were going
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: to be judged. That's something like around the idea of
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: psychological safety where people don't feel safe to speak up,
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: to speak the truth, the truth to power. And and
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: I think when we were looking at these things, we
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: have to evaluate a couple of things. First, are the
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: fears fears that were given to us like really early on,
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: like maybe our parents, our aunties, somebody gave us the
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: fears and then it just we let it just carry
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: on our backs or is it something that we've picked
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: up intentionally, unintentionally but it's us. And the reason why
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: I say that is because well, in either side, we
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: have the ability to influence how much we decide to
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: hold onto those or how much we decide to put
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: those down. So evaluating those fears. In my exercise in
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: the book that comes out next week on self Leadership,
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: I have a fear mapping exercise I have in there
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: where people can kind of name their fears and then
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: look about, like look at them and say where did
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: they come from? Because you can't get rid of them
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: unless you know where do they stem from? Because some
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: of these things go deep, like it's our grandma, our grandpa, whatever,
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: it could be. Generations of this stuff that comes back,
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: trauma that's passed down, and we have to go back
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: and go what is it that stops us from taking
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: the next step forward? My message, this message like do
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: this work, this new body of work on the art
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: of self leadership was really about this idea of fear
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: is the thing that stops us from leading ourselves well.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: And what we are doing is we are sitting around
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: blaming other people for the things we don't have. We
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: are sitting around waiting for green lights, waiting for access,
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: waiting for invitations, waiting for oh, whatever it is, greetings,
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: and it's not going to happen. We need to seize it.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: People ask me, how did you, you know, get this
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: one award? And I'm not sure you got this. You
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: get the same thing, how do you get this other thing?
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: And I go because I asked, because I asked. I
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: didn't wait for somebody to invite me. I asked because
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: and yes there's a fear there, But what's the worst
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: that could happen? Here's another question, here's I'm telling you
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: this thing, this changed my life. At the end of
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: last year, I got this question in my head and
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: this thing that has really helped me, and it is this,
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: what is the thing that you regret? You will regret
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: the longest doing the thing or not doing the thing.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: So when you think about fears, that one question can
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: help take you off that whole non decision making dime quickly.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: Because if if your question to you is, if your
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: answer to that is, oh, I am going to have
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: more regrets and I'll and i'll if I continue to
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: live in fear, then if I let it go and
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: I move forward with the next step or whatever that is,
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: it could be feared, could be anything. If I don't
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: do this next thing, which will I regret most? Not
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: doing it or doing it?
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: I would tell you this, not doing it, it's a
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: game changer, not doing it.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: And I would tell you I will wake up and
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I will go to sleep and I will regret that.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: And so I am a person that and I'm dead
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: some Helen, I've done some things that I still think about.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, why did I do it?
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: But I did it and it allowed me to make
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I feel the right decision The next time.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: But if you don't do it, then you will complicate.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: You come up with a complicated emotion inside of you
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: that can slow you down in your decision making. So
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: when I've done things I and I've been fortunate in
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: my life, Heather, I believe that I've pretty much done
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: what I wanted to do when it came up to
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: me to make that decision, make that that that fork
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: in the road decision that a lot of people don't
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: want to make.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: That's that fear.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: That fear because I work with a lot of highly
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: powerful people who come to me wanting advice. And when
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: they want advice, I can't go, hm, let me think
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: about it. They want an answer, think about it. I've
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: had people go, uh, you don't have an answer, And
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: I had that when that when that person said to
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: that that one time, I said to myself, that will
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: never be a statement said to me about me like
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: that again, that I don't have an answer. So I
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: get up in the morning, Heather, at four point thirty.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: I read the I read the ce it In on
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: my on my phone. I read ESPN on my phone.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I read the Houston Chronicle. Because I'm born and raised
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: in Houston, I read the AGC, I go to Fox News,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I go through Variety, I go to Hollow Report. All
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: this is my morning. And so when I walk out
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: that door, I pretty much know a lot of information.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: And so when people ask me in general, they go,
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: you know a lot. That's because I've been preparing since
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: four thirty to talk to you. Yeah, And that's that's
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: something that I share with everybody that you have to
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: treat every day how you want to be treated. I
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: am an information portal. You come to me, Heather, I
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: got a response for you. I remember Steve Harvey told
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: me one time. He said, with Shane, if somebody gonna
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: come to you, you're gonna give me answer. I said yep.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: He said, you pretty much think you know everything. I said, yep,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: I do. But and he laughed and walked off. He said,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: I knew you're gonna say that. I go, yeah, what
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: you're thinking, I'm gonna say, I don't know everything. I
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: prepare it four thirty in the morning to know everything.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: So if I don't know, I'm gonna go say yeah,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: run around the corner, google it, come back and be
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: well aware of what you're about to say to me.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Because I'm prepared. So, Heather, you know, what you're saying
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: is amazing to me because so many people how fear
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: and it ruins, especially when you get over fifty, especially
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: when you get over sixty, the fear, it just takes over,
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: and it can ruin relationships, It can ruin families. It
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: can not just the job, because that whole experience can
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: take over as we close out. He just give them
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: some tips on becoming a leader within themselves.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say that I look at yourself as
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: the chief iterator of your life. And what I mean,
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: my dad, is see yourself as a work in progress.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: So you aren't going towards perfection. You're you're aiming towards
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: continuous progress. And so if you see, if you look
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: at it that way, it means everything you do is
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: an iteration of the very next thing you're gonna do.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: You're gonna keep doing the very next You're gonna continue
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: to change and tweak and change and tweak. So when
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: you know that, it's like when you fall down, it's like,
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: oh well, I've bruised in a I bruised my knee,
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Oh well, I bruised my elbow. Oh well, because you
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: know the next time you get up, you probably won't
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: bruise the elbow, at least not the same way. Because again,
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: if you're working progress and then you're iterating, you're always
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: paying attention, you're tweaking. So just see yourself in the
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: in in a ever changing way of being, and it's
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: just much easier to live that way if you're looking
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: at yourself from a very fixed state, where this is
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: where I end, this is where I start, this is
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: the this is where success is only right here. You
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: won't be happy, you will not be happy, but you
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: will feel more joy when you see yourself as a
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: work in progress. Know that you are being you are
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: being shaped by the life would better and different that
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: you that you're being facetriped with right now, and what
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: you're coming out as, Oh my gosh, it is that diamond.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: It is a diamond you were all put here to be.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: So that's what I would say to everybody listening right now.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what you should say. My friend is dad.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Heather Younger is the ball you are. I'm so happy
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: that I invited you on my show because your voice
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: is what this country needs, you know, because we're walking
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: into a world of uncertainty you know, people are being
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: announced on the newspaper, they get laid off. Make a decision.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: If you don't make the decision, we'll make the decision
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: for you. And that's when the self evaluation comes in.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: That's when you should wake up planning and don't wait
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: wait for the plan to become part of the plan.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Like you said, set to make the plan, don't become
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: part of the plan.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: Yep, And don't wait to get on anybody's calendar.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Girl, I wish I could talk to you a long
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: because Daralen, can I invite you back on my show?
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Great, because I got to bring you back because you
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: want of these people that every time I talk to
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: you as another question pop up and go that's five minutes.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Because you're a good talker.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: I like I do is ask you a question you
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: five minutes in you know that's it because you're that good.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: But again, tell everybody about your website and we're gonna
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: talk soon.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: With my friend.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: All right, did I get ahead of younger dot com?
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: Go check it out, and and check out my new
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: book to the Artist Self Leadership. It's out next week
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: severy eleven.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: Make sure I get it so I can talk about it.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: We talked to them.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I appreciate your how Thank you.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: This has been another edition of Money Making Conversation Masterclass
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: hosted by me Rashaan McDonald. Thank you to our guests
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: on the show today, and thank you our listening audience now.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: If you want to listen to any episode or want
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: to be a guest on the show, visit Moneymakingconversations dot com.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Our social media handle is money Making Conversations. Join us
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: next week and remember to always lead with your gifts,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Keep winning. This has been another edition of Money Making
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Conversation Masterclass hosted by me Rashawn McDonald. Thank you to
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: our guests on the show today and thank you our
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: listening to the audience now. If you want to listen
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: to any episode I want to be a guest on
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: the show, visit Moneymakingconversations dot com. Our social media handle
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: is money Making Conversations. Join us next week and remember
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: to always leave with your gifts.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Keep winning.