Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Dr. Melanie Wilson-Lawson Full Interview

Transcript

Dr. Melanie Wilson-Lawson Full Interview · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

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Speaker 1: heart or text I Heeart to five hundred, five hundred.
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Speaker 1: My next guest, she's on the line. I'm happy to
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Speaker 1: have her. I'm always happy to have all my guests.
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Speaker 1: But my next guest has an eclectic background. I say
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Speaker 1: collect That's the word I've never used on a show,
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Speaker 1: But I'm gonna use you to her because she's eclectic.
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Speaker 1: She was the first African American to receive a PhD
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Speaker 1: and social work from my alma alma Mala, University of
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Speaker 1: Houston Graduate School of Social Work in two thousand two.
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Speaker 1: She earned a Masters in Public Health from the University
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Speaker 1: of Texas Health Science Center School of Public Health and
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Speaker 1: a Bachelor of Science degree a chemistry from the Historic
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Speaker 1: Third Word straight out of third World Texas, Texas Southern Universe. Well,
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Speaker 1: she was the recipient recipient of a twenty level Distinguished
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Speaker 1: Alumni ward. That's huge. That's huge right there. She's a
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Speaker 1: social scientist and inner spirit life coach. Please welcome to
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Speaker 1: Money Making Conversation. Dr Melanie Wilson. Hello, hello with Sean.
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Speaker 1: What's that enough that doesn't enough about you? Does that
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Speaker 1: enough about get it? I was like, here's that person.
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Speaker 1: You don't guess that person? You're absolutely correct by It
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Speaker 1: is pretty accelective. And people often wonder how the journey
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Speaker 1: brought me here, the things that I'm doing now that
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Speaker 1: I'm passionate about it that I love, which is related
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Speaker 1: to strengthening the inner court. And I tell you, I
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Speaker 1: didn't realize that you will alumni to the university. Man,
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Speaker 1: well so we are cougars. Yes, man, we are true curous.
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Speaker 1: You're tiger and the cougar at all about that? You
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Speaker 1: just you look at you are the movie Avn't talk.
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Speaker 1: That's you. You got all the still the jungle out there,
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Speaker 1: the Big five, the Big the Big five, as they say,
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Speaker 1: when I appreciate you having me a thanks you so
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Speaker 1: much for the invitation, I'm glad to be here. Well,
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Speaker 1: first of all, you know, I'm glad to have you
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Speaker 1: on the show. And I want to talk about that education.
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Speaker 1: Might always talk about I changed my major several times
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Speaker 1: before I eventually got a degree of mathematics and my
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Speaker 1: minor and sociology. And you know, not saying that you
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Speaker 1: change your degree, but I always like to see people
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Speaker 1: who allow themselves to expand allow themselves to say, not
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Speaker 1: be pigeonholed. And I looked at your degree in social work,
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Speaker 1: you know, public health, uh, chemistry. That diversity really allows
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Speaker 1: you to communicate a lot of different levels and to
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Speaker 1: be able to walk into the room and be very
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Speaker 1: comfortable when you speak. God this correct, that is correct.
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Speaker 1: And I tell you I was really um. I was
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Speaker 1: just that obedient child. And you know when my dad
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Speaker 1: said that needs to go to text or stuffing and
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Speaker 1: major and chemistry, and that's what I did. And I
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Speaker 1: did that and I enjoyed that until I had an
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Speaker 1: opportunity to work with the Department of Energy one summer
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Speaker 1: for an internship or summer internship, and we were doing
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Speaker 1: auto clays, you know, it was Colic profession research and
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Speaker 1: we were working with auto Clays, and I was just
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Speaker 1: in the process and I was like saying to myself,
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Speaker 1: I just can't imagine working in a lab like this,
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Speaker 1: you know, for the rest of my life. I want
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Speaker 1: to have healthy babies. I'm not sure this is really
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Speaker 1: a good fit for me. But I was always that
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Speaker 1: obedient child. I said, you know, I've come too far
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Speaker 1: not to go on a spenders you get the degree
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Speaker 1: for I went on and I got the degree, and
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Speaker 1: I went into UM the master's program here in the
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Speaker 1: Health Frankston in in Houston at the University of Texas.
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Speaker 1: And when I saw that they were having initially in
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Speaker 1: toxicology that when I saw they were having so much
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Speaker 1: fun and and family and community health, I was like,
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Speaker 1: you know what, Sean, that's where I need to be
4:55
Speaker 1: because I just spent my personality. I always spend a compelled, smiting,
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Speaker 1: empathetic type of person And so that's when I started
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Speaker 1: navigating myself towards in a direction that I was really
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Speaker 1: comfortable with. And so from there UM I just kind
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Speaker 1: of blocked them and and had the opportunity to go
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Speaker 1: on and get my doctors and social work, which was
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Speaker 1: which ex phenomenal, and from it and now I am
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Speaker 1: just doing what I chose and to do, and and
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Speaker 1: I just I think it's a great, incredible journey. And
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Speaker 1: I would encourage people, you know what, no matter what
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Speaker 1: you're doing, it's not what you really want to do,
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Speaker 1: you can always navigate yourself and move towards the directions
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Speaker 1: that most makes you laugh. You doctor, doctor, Um, don't
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Speaker 1: give your credit now, don't we just laying out? It
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Speaker 1: gives a lot of docs out there? There aren't doctors,
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Speaker 1: you know, So I'm just gonna say the whole word doctor.
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Speaker 1: How do I just want to navigate that? How does
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Speaker 1: want to make a decision to create change in their life,
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Speaker 1: especially when they just sit around based on fear, because
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Speaker 1: that's why people don't make change, they're afraid. How does
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Speaker 1: want to navigate that change? Well, you know, the first
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Speaker 1: thing they have to do in that process. And I've
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Speaker 1: been refer to it as understanding the journey that we're
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Speaker 1: actually on. And that's how the in the spirit part
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Speaker 1: comes into play with um, what I do and what
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Speaker 1: I focus on and help, you know, God people into
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Speaker 1: that direction in terms of navigation. And I think that
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Speaker 1: people understand that they have the power us who we
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Speaker 1: could choose the mission that they want to have in
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Speaker 1: this life. Then the first step is the first identify
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Speaker 1: and understand that you have that power. I think a
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Speaker 1: lot of times people feel powerless in this process. So
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Speaker 1: you have to kind of break it down and I
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Speaker 1: always say you try to have to deconstruct to reconstruct
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Speaker 1: your life. And when you know with themselves that you
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Speaker 1: know you are just not content with what the outcome
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Speaker 1: is and and on the direction that things are going,
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Speaker 1: that's the first step is to identify that you know
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Speaker 1: that within something. Then you have to figure out what
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Speaker 1: it is you want to do. You know, what is
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Speaker 1: the mission that you want to be on, and develop
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Speaker 1: an action plan to achieve that, to to get on
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Speaker 1: the right track, to to live the life of your dreams,
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Speaker 1: and to do the things that you want. Let's Michelle,
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Speaker 1: let me give you an example of what it is
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Speaker 1: that I do so so wizards can understand how this
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Speaker 1: process works. And this is a good analogy. Let's say
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Speaker 1: you're drinking a cup of coffee and somebody bumped into
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Speaker 1: you and you still the coffee. Okay, you still the coffee.
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Speaker 1: You know why you fill the coffee because coffee is
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Speaker 1: what was in the cup, it seem within the cup,
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Speaker 1: you wouldn't still the tea. And so the analogy that
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Speaker 1: I'm making is is what's inside of you when you
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Speaker 1: get bumped in, like when you are unsure, and like
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Speaker 1: when things are happening to you, what's inside of you,
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Speaker 1: It's what comes up. And so as an industry a
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Speaker 1: life coach, and when I focus on the foods of
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Speaker 1: the spirit, when I focus on instructening that inside of
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Speaker 1: a person, that's how they get out of their fear
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Speaker 1: and they're able to make the tangible step to do
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Speaker 1: what you're talking about. Because what comes what's inside of
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Speaker 1: you is what comes out. So if there's inside of
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Speaker 1: you that comes out of angers inside it, when light functions,
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Speaker 1: when things happen, that's what comes out. Its rage and
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Speaker 1: it jealousy of resentment. But if I can get people
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Speaker 1: to strengthen the other things that should be inside of
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Speaker 1: their court, which is love through a peace, patience, kindness, business, slothfulness,
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Speaker 1: the most important self control, then they have the ability
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Speaker 1: to do what you're saying, to turn it around. And
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Speaker 1: that's and that's kind of what I focused on. Well,
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Speaker 1: you have to keep focusing on that because of the
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Speaker 1: fact that you know, when you have people, I'll just
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Speaker 1: tell you I'm an example of an individual. Well, people
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Speaker 1: look at my resume, they see success. I'm always always
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Speaker 1: tell people I'm constantly pushing myself. I constantly get up
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Speaker 1: with a plan. You just can't assume that success is
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Speaker 1: gonna come away, and you can't assume that the plan
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Speaker 1: you're having, you're in place, it's gonna happen. And that's
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Speaker 1: where so many people fail. They just assume and they
9:14
Speaker 1: get frustrated when they put things in motion, like they say,
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Speaker 1: I'm gonna open a business, they expect people just gonna
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Speaker 1: show up, and by their merchandise marketing, they get frustrated
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Speaker 1: by that process. When could I just stopped marketing when
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Speaker 1: they're gonna show up. I got the best I got
9:27
Speaker 1: the best apple turnover in the world. Why aren't people
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Speaker 1: by I got the best barbecue in the world. It's
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Speaker 1: that frustration and that planning, and that's why I wanted
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Speaker 1: to bring it on the show, just to talk about that.
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Speaker 1: We're gonna go in more details in the next break.
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Speaker 1: But I'm on the phone with She's you know, she's
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Speaker 1: a graduatd My School University Houston UM. Since the Thinguish
9:46
Speaker 1: alumni at Texas out University. That means that she's tied
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Speaker 1: into Houston. I'm from fifth War. You know, she grew
9:53
Speaker 1: up in their third Ward area and he told her
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Speaker 1: to go to school. The one day she welcome and says,
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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do something different. We're gonna be back with
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Speaker 1: more money make conversation. Ra Sean McDonald talking to Dr
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Speaker 1: Melanie Wilson. Hi, just Rashan McDonald. You're listening to money
10:07
Speaker 1: making conversations on the phone. Is Dr Melanie Wilson Lawson UM.
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Speaker 1: She's UM an incredible person, eclectic because she has a
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Speaker 1: a PhD and social work from the University Houston, UM
10:20
Speaker 1: public health from University of Texas Health Science Center, School
10:24
Speaker 1: of Public Health. And UH her dad she had a degree.
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Speaker 1: Her dad to go to Texas Southern get this degree.
10:29
Speaker 1: And then she realized that she didn't want to sit
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Speaker 1: in the lab. And I think that's the point of
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Speaker 1: this conversation. There's so many people sitting in that lab
10:36
Speaker 1: right now. Dr Lawson. I want to leave that lab
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Speaker 1: and afraid to leave that lab, afraid to walk away
10:43
Speaker 1: from that teller job, afraid to stop driving that car,
10:46
Speaker 1: afraid to make it that to make the decision that
10:49
Speaker 1: they fear will be disrupted, but they're already already living
10:53
Speaker 1: the life. They're not happy with that change. That change
10:56
Speaker 1: is important. That's like, how can you plans meant words
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Speaker 1: into being and doing you know, don't talk about it,
11:04
Speaker 1: be about it. How do you make that transition? And
11:07
Speaker 1: then I would argue that opportunities like this, listening to
11:11
Speaker 1: shows like this, when you hear people share their stories,
11:14
Speaker 1: that helps to provide a type of blueprint, you know,
11:18
Speaker 1: where people can follow it. And if they follow the
11:21
Speaker 1: blue blueprint, you know, you don't have to read with
11:23
Speaker 1: them to reel with a lot of this stuff. Just
11:25
Speaker 1: look at out the people situations in their circumstances and
11:29
Speaker 1: sharing people's stories. That's so beneficial because you can learn
11:34
Speaker 1: from it. You can learn what to do, what not
11:36
Speaker 1: to do, and seven how to do it. Talk about
11:40
Speaker 1: the ABC s. There your ABC. Your version of ABC's okay,
11:45
Speaker 1: so well a B C D no, no, no, your
11:48
Speaker 1: version of ABC. But my first for ABC S, you know,
11:52
Speaker 1: it's Doc Sail. I try to focus on a B
11:55
Speaker 1: and anteceeding be being the behavior and see being the
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Speaker 1: time of senses related to the psycho social dynamics of people.
12:05
Speaker 1: And so when you look at a person, you've got
12:07
Speaker 1: to consider the A d C and the antecedent are
12:11
Speaker 1: the things that lead or that lead to the behaviors
12:15
Speaker 1: that people engage in. So, because some people were sean,
12:19
Speaker 1: it could be traumas that they may have experienced in
12:22
Speaker 1: their lives early on. Um, some of the things that
12:25
Speaker 1: they may have witness um may have heard in their childhood.
12:30
Speaker 1: You know, when you speak to children, it can resonate deeply.
12:36
Speaker 1: You know, when you tell a child that they're gonna
12:38
Speaker 1: be nothing, or that they're lazy, or that they're stupid,
12:41
Speaker 1: or you say these things that that can resonate into
12:46
Speaker 1: a person and as they grow up start to see
12:50
Speaker 1: behaviors manners us based on what they think are done
12:54
Speaker 1: for and so that introcedent, those are the things that
12:59
Speaker 1: lead to the behaviors. And so when you're looking at
13:03
Speaker 1: people that are engaged in a lot of mal adaptive
13:06
Speaker 1: type of phases, then there's something going on with their
13:10
Speaker 1: feelings and that in their emotions about themselves. How a
13:13
Speaker 1: person feels about themselves matters, because they they don't feel
13:17
Speaker 1: good about themselves, then that can be distrusted and we
13:21
Speaker 1: can see it in destructive behaviors. And so the behaviors
13:24
Speaker 1: that people engage in are related to the choices that
13:28
Speaker 1: they make. From those choices, people are going in consequences.
13:32
Speaker 1: And so if you don't like where you are in life,
13:36
Speaker 1: if you don't like the consequences that you that you're
13:39
Speaker 1: seeing now in life, and you just got to make
13:42
Speaker 1: better choices, you know, you've got to address the behaviors
13:45
Speaker 1: that are causing those kinds of consequences. And I help
13:49
Speaker 1: people walk through the process. I helped them peel back
13:52
Speaker 1: the layers which on because that they can begin the
13:55
Speaker 1: healing process. I like you know, I like you because
13:58
Speaker 1: when you say my name is like you like grabbing
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Speaker 1: my own like an adult. You know, like you know
14:03
Speaker 1: you're talking to the young person. You you brace them.
14:06
Speaker 1: Every time you say my name, You're bracing me. Rashan,
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Speaker 1: You're like you touching, you know, touching me on the show. Rashan,
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Speaker 1: calm down. It's like there your doctor. I can tell it.
14:15
Speaker 1: You know, I got just on your tone now every
14:17
Speaker 1: those every time you say my favor shot, it calms
14:20
Speaker 1: me down. It makes me just I know, you do.
14:22
Speaker 1: I know I'm feeling every time, she says, it's so well, Rashan, Listen,
14:28
Speaker 1: you know that sometimes you've gotta let th be before
14:33
Speaker 1: you can let things go. And that means you've gotta
14:37
Speaker 1: truly feel what you're doing and what you're going through.
14:41
Speaker 1: How many kind of people tell people, you know, you
14:43
Speaker 1: just need to let that go. You don't need to
14:46
Speaker 1: let it go, but sometimes you gotta let it flow first.
14:49
Speaker 1: You gotta go through the plain, you gotta go through
14:53
Speaker 1: the anguish. That's what you'd bequest to do that the
14:56
Speaker 1: body is requis to go through the very emotion. It
15:04
Speaker 1: really is true, because you can't protect your child. You know,
15:07
Speaker 1: your child is gonna have that bad relationship. Your child's
15:09
Speaker 1: gonna have circumstances and you wish they didn't. You wish
15:13
Speaker 1: they didn't have the emotional stress that your life. But
15:16
Speaker 1: guess what that shapes them. They shapes them. They prepared
15:19
Speaker 1: to because otherwise they fall into that mistake. And I'd
15:22
Speaker 1: rather for you to make a small mistake than a
15:25
Speaker 1: big mistake. And that's and that's what happens in life,
15:28
Speaker 1: is that you cannot protect anybody's the point that they
15:32
Speaker 1: can't experience life. You gotta allow them experience life, but
15:35
Speaker 1: while they're experience in life is that's that's the part
15:37
Speaker 1: that you know. I really have enjoying this conversation because
15:41
Speaker 1: you know, it's what you your social scientists and your
15:44
Speaker 1: inner spirit life coach, which I think is really important
15:47
Speaker 1: to hear on this show because people want to make change.
15:50
Speaker 1: That's why I love the fact that that that millennial
15:53
Speaker 1: generation decided to say, you know something, I don't want
15:56
Speaker 1: to work for anybody. I want to work for me.
15:57
Speaker 1: And they get ridiculed because said that I was listening
16:00
Speaker 1: to a show driving in this morning was really cueing, Um,
16:04
Speaker 1: you know, millennials, because they don't save. I was trying
16:06
Speaker 1: to figure out, Okay, when I was twenty eight, what
16:08
Speaker 1: was I saving? When I was thirty four, what was
16:10
Speaker 1: I saving? I'm trying to figure out when when did
16:14
Speaker 1: the rules? When did the rules that that that that
16:16
Speaker 1: that eighteen to thirty or four age group, and each
16:18
Speaker 1: each generation was saving money, they were that they were
16:21
Speaker 1: that worthy to stay. You know something, I'm gonna save
16:23
Speaker 1: for my future. You know something, when you're that age,
16:26
Speaker 1: there is no future. The future is now. Why can
16:28
Speaker 1: I get my car? Where can I get my house?
16:31
Speaker 1: Where can I give me some new shoes. And so
16:33
Speaker 1: when I hear people criticize millennials, I'm going like, Okay,
16:36
Speaker 1: are you kiding me? Are you kidding me? At twenty
16:38
Speaker 1: nine years old, who do you know was saving money?
16:41
Speaker 1: Who was thinking about that the stock market at twenty
16:43
Speaker 1: nine years of age on a regular job, you know,
16:45
Speaker 1: if your your company was like I worked at IBM
16:49
Speaker 1: and they they had that little sharing program. You you
16:52
Speaker 1: pay a dollar, they pay a dollar, you know, and
16:54
Speaker 1: that that helped me out, that got me into that
16:56
Speaker 1: into the stock game. But again that was my company
17:00
Speaker 1: had that program at that time. And I'm not saying
17:02
Speaker 1: that in program exists today because people hold you accountable
17:05
Speaker 1: everything you said in public. Sean said this, hey way
17:09
Speaker 1: back then, way back then when I was working. Now,
17:11
Speaker 1: they might not do that right now, So don't hold
17:13
Speaker 1: me account But I'm just letting you know is that
17:15
Speaker 1: when I look at people criticized, there's so many people
17:17
Speaker 1: want to criticize people when they want to be themselves,
17:20
Speaker 1: when they want to make decisions for themselves that benefit them,
17:25
Speaker 1: that they get criticized for that. And I just feel
17:27
Speaker 1: that that generation is being pressurized, especially with social media.
17:32
Speaker 1: You post the picture, you like you don't like share,
17:37
Speaker 1: you know, I remember I did. I posted one of
17:39
Speaker 1: my videos and somebody told me, you know I look gay? Huh,
17:44
Speaker 1: I don't know, how do you look at I was
17:47
Speaker 1: my interviews just say I look gay? And then other
17:48
Speaker 1: person you bear too dark? Your beer too dark? Okay?
17:52
Speaker 1: What the heck is this? What these are the criticist
17:55
Speaker 1: that you get in social media, and so you have
17:57
Speaker 1: to deal with these issues about okay, if you if
18:00
Speaker 1: you take that personal, then you could be walking down
18:02
Speaker 1: the street trying to walk in a certain way. Well,
18:04
Speaker 1: people talking about our walk. I don't know what that means.
18:07
Speaker 1: You know, you know what my beer too do? I
18:09
Speaker 1: gotta change their look, you know. But people can get
18:11
Speaker 1: it to your heads with these with these negative statements,
18:15
Speaker 1: and they could change your your objectives, your plans. And
18:19
Speaker 1: so it's good to listen to young people when they
18:22
Speaker 1: when they unsure, just calm them down and say, what's
18:25
Speaker 1: your what's your problem? Don't don't don't ignore that, ignore
18:28
Speaker 1: that ignorant people are talking. The ignorant people know the
18:32
Speaker 1: other thing. Resign you know the other thing. They'll be
18:34
Speaker 1: reshigned if they will can't to suppress or ignore who
18:40
Speaker 1: they really are to will this nas for society, for
18:44
Speaker 1: their parents, for their files, for for for all these
18:48
Speaker 1: other things. They were this nas and they really suppressed
18:52
Speaker 1: who they really are because of judgment, because of what
18:56
Speaker 1: they feel other people may think or say about them.
18:59
Speaker 1: And so what you have up to society of people
19:01
Speaker 1: who can't be real, can't be real real, it's not accepted.
19:07
Speaker 1: And so that's why people find themselves from the situations
19:10
Speaker 1: that they're in because they're not authentic. They're not living
19:14
Speaker 1: an authentic life. And that's why we do what we do.
19:18
Speaker 1: You know, we focus on peeling about those lads. We
19:21
Speaker 1: allow people to understand that you can live and authentic
19:24
Speaker 1: life and be proud of it. Many people are wearing enough.
19:27
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you something else. To John, it
19:29
Speaker 1: doesn't matter that their social economic status is. It doesn't
19:33
Speaker 1: matter if they have J B or M D behind
19:35
Speaker 1: their names. It doesn't matter. All types of people are
19:39
Speaker 1: walking around here with the mask on, with the mask on,
19:44
Speaker 1: I've taken that mask off. I wou't tell people removed
19:48
Speaker 1: to stop sign and you take off the removed to
19:51
Speaker 1: stop sign because people are holding up stop signed in
19:53
Speaker 1: front of their face, stopping them for success, stopping them
19:56
Speaker 1: from an opportunity to move forward. First of all, I
19:58
Speaker 1: want to say thank you for coming on my show. Secondly,
20:02
Speaker 1: you know, because you know, when you can start being successful,
20:04
Speaker 1: I like to believe I'm a success. You start having regulars.
20:07
Speaker 1: I like to see if I can have you as
20:08
Speaker 1: a regular on my show. Absolutely. After that, we're trying
20:12
Speaker 1: to build a bugle platform, you know, and and touch
20:15
Speaker 1: this to another level for so we can share people's
20:18
Speaker 1: stories so everyone can here is going to realize they
20:21
Speaker 1: are not alone and facing many of life challenges and
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Speaker 1: if they can overcome whatever they're going through, no matter
20:27
Speaker 1: how close it is, and you keep and now I'm
20:32
Speaker 1: coming to Houston, and I want you on my show.
20:34
Speaker 1: I'm coming. I'm just dropping that bomb right in that
20:37
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