Latest / Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community / The Wait Worth It | Part 2: Bringing Sami Home
Transcript
- 0:02What does loving your neighbor actually look like? This
- 0:06is Journey with Care, where curious Canadians get inspired
- 0:10to love others well through real life stories and honest
- 0:13conversations.
- 0:19Alright. We are back with our 2nd episode with
- 0:23our very own Kathy Boschmann. This is the
- 0:262nd part of her story. If you have not listened to
- 0:30the first part, I really recommend you listen to that one first because you'll
- 0:34be missing a lot of context and just a fantastic story
- 0:38that's encouraging and uplifting. We talked about the
- 0:42whole process of her and her husband adopting their international
- 0:45child. And that was how many years ago, Kathy? 15.
- 0:4915 years ago. We ended the episode
- 0:52with them getting approved to go get
- 0:56Sammy, and they haven't left yet. And this is where We come
- 1:00in on this episode. So it's pickup of right where
- 1:03we left off, Kathy. You got approved for Sammy. You you have his name
- 1:07in front of you. You know you're going to adopt him, so
- 1:11what's next? Is he gonna be brought to you? Do you need to go pick
- 1:14him up? What what was that process like? There
- 1:19were a few options, but for us, there was no option. We
- 1:22wanted to go and experience Sammy's
- 1:26country, we wanted to experience where he
- 1:29was coming from, the children's home that they were caring for him.
- 1:33There was so much about it that we wanted to be there. There is an
- 1:36option of, you know, zoom in, get the child, and zoom out again
- 1:40without really experiencing that, but we chose to go for almost 2 weeks
- 1:44so that we could appreciate, you know, where he was coming
- 1:47from and, have that That experience with him
- 1:51as well as Heather, what some people refer to as a babymoon
- 1:55instead of a honeymoon, just to have that Time together as a family,
- 1:58and what a better way to start your relationship off than with a holiday.
- 2:03There are some Pieces in there when you go, you do have to
- 2:07get visas for your child to travel because they are still
- 2:11Samu was still an Ethiopian A citizen. He wasn't automatically
- 2:15Canadian citizen. But even though he was already legally
- 2:19our child and had been for 2 or 3 months,
- 2:23That had all happened in Ethiopia with the director of
- 2:27the children's home. She's our power of attorney. She goes to the court case and
- 2:30before the judge and confirms all of that on our
- 2:34behalf, which is such a beautiful gift to
- 2:37families. So we we chose to go.
- 2:41And and there was gonna be a group going in, like, the
- 2:44beginning of the new year. Like, in early January, there was gonna
- 2:48be a The whole group of parents going, but I just remember praying
- 2:52just like, lord, is there any way that we could go
- 2:56earlier? Like, I was happy to travel by ourselves. Like, I didn't feel like I
- 2:59need to be in a group to experience, you know, together with all these other
- 3:02families. I remember just like, Can I ask you, is it
- 3:06okay if I pray and ask you if we can do that early
- 3:10and go? Because when you got Sammy in front of you, he was 3 months
- 3:14old. How much longer did you have to wait when you found out you
- 3:17got to bring him home? Yeah. It was 10 months. 10 months?
- 3:2110 months. So he would have been our Adopted within,
- 3:25I guess, probably within 4 4 or 5 months, but then immigration
- 3:29piece, like, the waiting on immigration. And I think it's even worse now
- 3:32than it was then. Can you tell me about that 10 months? Because
- 3:36I can't imagine, Like, knowing, okay. We have our child.
- 3:40Mhmm. We're gonna be missing months of his development.
- 3:44Mhmm. And what what is he going through? What's happening with him right now. What
- 3:47was that like for you and your husband during that time? It was hard.
- 3:51Like, it's you know, you thought you're being very patient
- 3:55Leading up to there to even having a child placed with you. And
- 3:59I, personally, I felt a grace to wait. I remember
- 4:03My friend at the time who had also recently been through
- 4:07an international adoption, and they Didn't even wait as long
- 4:11as we had to have their child come home. She would kinda
- 4:15shake her head sometimes, like, wow. You know, just your ability to wait and just
- 4:19to recognize All these things need to happen, and
- 4:23recognizing too in even the expense of adopting
- 4:27just like All these people need to be paid. You know? This is their job,
- 4:30and we're not just paying 1,000 of dollars to we're
- 4:34not buying a child. We're paying people to care for him.
- 4:38We're paying people to help us get to
- 4:41achieve That dream to to reach that
- 4:45dream of being a family together. So, yeah, it was it was challenging.
- 4:49I got myself Very busy, you know, volunteering and
- 4:52distracting myself. I think I got a part time job
- 4:56doing something for a new organization in Winnipeg, You know,
- 5:00helping set that up. It was hard, but it's new. It is part of the
- 5:03process. But I think that's why when I was praying saying, god, can I ask
- 5:07you if we can go early? That was sort of me at the end of
- 5:10my my patients. During that 10 months, what was the
- 5:14preparation like for knowing you're gonna bring a child back home?
- 5:18Yeah. So we had baby showers. Each of our families did a
- 5:22little, you know, something for us, and the church had a shower.
- 5:26Well, I mean, house group or I can't remember all those
- 5:30details, but, again, community coming around us and
- 5:33making sure and celebrating with us, really, for the exciting
- 5:37phase that we are moving into. You got to prepare his room and get that
- 5:41already, buy some clothes. Is that Yes. A part of the process? Yeah. All those
- 5:45things. We had personally a beautiful preparation in that. The
- 5:48lord brought a a lovely woman into our lives, an Ethiopian
- 5:53woman who has adopted us as her forever family.
- 5:57And she came as a student, and we got connected to
- 6:00her through one of our friends. And she lived with
- 6:04us actually for I think ended up 3 or 6 months,
- 6:08but she has become to us a real
- 6:13Blessing again. A mutual blessing. More like a
- 6:17little sister to me than I would say, you know, what you've
- 6:20experienced as a a daughter, But we've become
- 6:24her her forever family in her or her Canadian family, she calls
- 6:28us. And so we have had the blessing of learning so much
- 6:32about Ethiopia even in preparation for going and
- 6:35about culture just by relating with her. I'll
- 6:39tell more about that later. But Part of that preparation and understanding the
- 6:43culture and who we're bringing into our family and that we're gonna
- 6:47become a bicultural or a tricultural family
- 6:50In that, Eric and I have different come from different cultural backgrounds
- 6:54as well. And so we've become this multicultural family,
- 6:58which has been Lovely. Beautiful. I love it.
- 7:01Yeah. I'd love to get into the some of the cultural aspects a little
- 7:05bit later. So you guys jump on a plane, You and
- 7:08Eric, both very excited.
- 7:12So where did you go to meet Kathy.
- 7:15And what was it like the 1st time you guys laid eyes on him?
- 7:20It was that moment of a dream coming true
- 7:23when Sammy was placed in our
- 7:27lap, on our couch, and it you know, from the
- 7:31caregiver putting him in our hands, like, I
- 7:35think it's, like, surreal in some ways. Like, we have a video of it, so
- 7:39I know it really happened. But it is, you know,
- 7:43years of longing that whole idea of a dream coming
- 7:46true that it it feels surreal. And we
- 7:50had time to visit and ask questions and whatnot, and then we went out into
- 7:53the yard Just walked around, and Eric singing
- 7:57some childhood German songs to him.
- 8:02Sammy was rather confused. Yeah. Just to be able to point
- 8:06things out to him. He was just 1 year old, really. And then,
- 8:10he actually fell asleep on my shoulder because it was In the afternoon, like
- 8:13nap time. And so that was just so precious, like,
- 8:17so so precious that it's hard to even
- 8:21Describe what that that's I I don't know what it's like to hold your child
- 8:24for the 1st time after they've been born. Maybe you can tell us what that
- 8:28feels like. I can tell you if it feels anything the same. Oh,
- 8:32the first time was a bit hectic for us. There were
- 8:35some complications. My wife didn't even get to hold him. I I got to
- 8:39go into, a waiting area with him, but I don't know if I'll do
- 8:43birth stories on this podcast or not. I think there's a whole
- 8:47podcast out there for birth stories. Probably. Yeah.
- 8:51Have you and Eric been overseas prior to this
- 8:54trip to pick up Sammy? Yes. I had done
- 8:58several over international trips. I was with YWAM
- 9:02in Mexico and Israel In 2001,
- 9:06I had the privilege of going to India for just over a month,
- 9:10and we'd been to Australia and Indonesia together
- 9:15at the end of 2001. It was a very international year. So going
- 9:19to Ethiopia, I would don't think it was
- 9:22as much as of a culture shock as it
- 9:26would have been if we hadn't Had that experience
- 9:30of going to those other countries. How did that experience
- 9:34feel different from Those other trips because the purpose
- 9:37was completely different. Yeah. I wonder if
- 9:41if we hadn't been to those other countries, Perhaps because we were
- 9:45so singular in our focus on meeting our
- 9:48son that the shock of Being
- 9:52in such a foreign place wouldn't have affected us because we were just
- 9:56so so, like I said, singular on meeting him and
- 9:59connecting with him and bringing him home. Yeah. I don't think it had as
- 10:03big an impact as it would have been otherwise.
- 10:07You got there and you met him the next day. How much longer did you
- 10:11guys stick around? We had 12 days there.
- 10:15The 1st day we met him, but but, actually, he stayed the
- 10:18night At the children's home. So it was just, I think,
- 10:22for his sake, just a sort of more gentle. It probably could
- 10:26have been even more gentle for him if he'd you know, we've done that few
- 10:29days in a row, but the next day, we brought him home. So then another
- 10:3211 I guess, another 10 days after that. Alright. So you pick up
- 10:36your child, and You have more than a week out
- 10:40there with a brand new child, not even bringing them home yet, and you're
- 10:43already taking your child on an international trip. So what was that
- 10:47like? How did you guys navigate that? Not having your own space
- 10:51to bring a child into, that would have been challenging. We were prepared
- 10:55for it. So we, you know, had brought along
- 10:59our baby bottles and had all the tips from Other
- 11:02adoptive parents on how to put the powder in the bags and put
- 11:06elastic bands on them so you can go for rides and be prepared.
- 11:10So that was Very helpful just having had other people's
- 11:14experience in our back pocket to to guide us in that. The guesthouse
- 11:18where we stayed was very nice in that it had, Like, we had a
- 11:22room, and we had a little kitchen. And the bathroom, they were all separate. So
- 11:25it felt a little bit more like a an apartment type situation,
- 11:29Which was really, really nice. The one big
- 11:33challenge of the 1st few days with us was
- 11:36that Sammy stopped eating. He refused to eat anything.
- 11:40The shock for him of being taken from home, what
- 11:44he knew as home, was Obviously, very
- 11:47stressful, and that really stressed me out
- 11:51that he wouldn't eat. He did drink his milk. That's what he
- 11:55wanted and understandably. And I still remember
- 11:58when after 3 days, we're at a restaurant
- 12:01and Eric, he was eating his meal, which is very
- 12:05simple food. Sammy, he took food from
- 12:09Eric, and I just remember, like, Just
- 12:13thank you. Like, just being so anxious about him not
- 12:17eating. He connected real right away with us, though, which so So I
- 12:20didn't feel like that he it's not that he was crying or, you know,
- 12:24resistant to us. Actually, we had a very positive
- 12:28experience with him When we did bring him back, I remember the
- 12:321st night, I just rocked him in my arms and sang to him
- 12:35until he fell asleep. It must have been, like, 45 minutes Just singing
- 12:39worship songs over him, and we sang those songs together
- 12:43probably for 3 or 4 years every night. We always the
- 12:46same songs. So that 1st night, he he let me rock him to
- 12:50sleep. And then the next night, I go to do the same thing, and he
- 12:53kinda turns his head, looks at me, and then he looks at his cribs and
- 12:56sort of Juts' face towards the crib as in,
- 13:00like, lady, can you let me just go to my bed and go to sleep,
- 13:03please? Which is what he was used to. Right?
- 13:07So I just like, talk about good communication. Right? Like, even
- 13:11at 13 months old, he he is very Good at letting me know what
- 13:15he needed, and I was able to just let him do his
- 13:18thing and get to to sleep on his own. But We traveled a lot during
- 13:22those 12 days. We had the opportunity to go
- 13:25to a village called Nazareth, And
- 13:29there was a Canadian orphanage there,
- 13:33and the children all had AIDS and HIV, so they're being
- 13:37cared for. They were Not adoptable to Canadians.
- 13:41There were some Americans who were adopting the children, which was
- 13:45wonderful, But we had that the joy of being able to go to that
- 13:48place, bring some supplies and clothes and whatnot from Winnipeg
- 13:52here to them. So that was really neat experience to be able to
- 13:56go out of town and into the savanna and and experience
- 13:59travel a little bit to one of the lakes and And all of that with
- 14:03Kathy, and it was on that trip was the first time I heard Sammy
- 14:07laugh, really laugh. I Saw a chicken, and
- 14:11I started balking like a chicken, and he just
- 14:15was roaring with laughter. It was wonderful. So, of course, you
- 14:19know, I bucked like a chicken for a long time just to keep hearing that
- 14:22laugh, but it was some beautiful times to connect with him. And he
- 14:26still has a contagious laugh. Yes. Yes. He does.
- 14:31So did you notice any any shifts in your
- 14:34prayer life? What did that look like Even in the 1st
- 14:38week of having Sammy? We were honestly
- 14:42engrossed with Sammy, engrossed in connecting with him.
- 14:45But I do remember a few days in
- 14:49maybe towards the end, I remember going to a cafe. Eric
- 14:53and Kathy stayed back. I don't know if Sammy was napping or whatever and going
- 14:56to a cafe. They have awesome coffee in Ethiopia.
- 15:00It's where it's from. Yeah. Like, Super
- 15:04jolt that every new parent needs. I had this podcast called
- 15:07Awesome Things that I did kind of as an experiment when I was starting out.
- 15:11And I did 1 on coffee, and it talked about Ethiopia. So maybe I'll throw
- 15:14that on as a Yeah. Fun bonus episode on here.
- 15:19I'd like that. Just just a fun thing. Anyway, continue. Yeah.
- 15:22So I'd I'd gone to this cafe, just started
- 15:26journaling, like, just My experience, and I really should have reread
- 15:30it before I came came on today, but
- 15:33I I think just affirming
- 15:37The trust that I had in him to work
- 15:41all things together for good, even though it had been so many
- 15:44years To get to that point, to this place where here I
- 15:48am sitting in my son's birth country,
- 15:52being a parent, Being a mother, which is something I had
- 15:56longed for since high school, and I
- 16:00think a deepening of that trust In his goodness,
- 16:04his trustworthiness, his faithfulness. I'm sure
- 16:08I experienced Many times of like,
- 16:12oh, that's what it means to be adopted in the family of God. You
- 16:15know, there's all though those pieces that That I would have experienced,
- 16:19you know, early on as deepening my understanding of
- 16:23scripture and and what Was meant
- 16:27by those who wrote it in using that as an analogy for our
- 16:30relationship with god. I think The one
- 16:34verse, of course, that maybe hits a lot of
- 16:37adoptive parents is he settles The
- 16:41barren woman at her home is a happy mother of children. That's
- 16:45like my life. It's beautiful.
- 16:48So you guys had an extra time there probably already planned out
- 16:52ahead of time. Were you quite anxious to get home and kinda
- 16:56get life started already, Or were you happy to
- 16:59spend time out there and taking in the culture? Like, was that important to you
- 17:03to even take in as much as of the Ethiopian culture as you can
- 17:07to Even pass on to Sammy so that he knows his
- 17:10origins. Right? Absolutely. That was that was really
- 17:14important to us to experience that, To have that
- 17:17opportunity to to learn as much as we could
- 17:21and be able to understand The
- 17:25amazing culture that he comes from. Yeah. We we did quite a
- 17:28few of the touristy things. Well, the other beautiful thing that we
- 17:32had Was I mentioned in the last
- 17:35conversation we had about our dear friend, Adis, who is from Addis
- 17:39Ababa, and She made sure that we went to see
- 17:43her parents, her family that lives there,
- 17:46and they treated us to a feast. But
- 17:50also even more amazing than that was just having a
- 17:54day with them to experience life
- 17:58In Ethiopia with an Ethiopian family. It was
- 18:02so beautiful just to super relax and just to hang out and
- 18:05See their cat and and to see the compound where our
- 18:09Wendi, Adis, had grown up and the in her her childhood home
- 18:13and meet her parents. And I mean, her sister-in-law did a
- 18:17coffee ceremony for us after the meal, which is if you've
- 18:20no. People have never Experience an Ethiopian coffee
- 18:24ceremony. Like, it's really special just to have
- 18:28that experience and to know that this is A really beautiful
- 18:31part of the culture as well. We ate out a lot, and
- 18:35I even got on stage and did some Ethiopian
- 18:39dancing. Do you have video of that?
- 18:42Yeah. I probably wasn't as good as I thought I was,
- 18:47But it was fun. And something beautiful about the
- 18:51the Ethiopian culture is just their warmth and beauty inside
- 18:54and out. They're just a very Lovely,
- 18:58respectful people that, should be
- 19:01honored. So have you seen some of those
- 19:05I mean, Sammy was really young when you brought him home. When you look at
- 19:09him today, do you see some of those
- 19:13Ethiopian cultural things that he that he's brought with
- 19:16him. I I do see it once in a while. He speaks
- 19:20very quietly. Now I don't know if that is,
- 19:23common. I know our Wendi, Adise, is is quite a quiet person.
- 19:27When we were going through our sort of orientation with
- 19:31adopting from Ethiopia, I remember them mentioning to us
- 19:35that in Ethiopia, Instead of saying yes,
- 19:39sometimes they will blink. So that is
- 19:43a way of of just affirming yes without actually saying the
- 19:46word, And I had forgotten that. And
- 19:50when we arrived in Ethiopia, I remember there is a soldier in
- 19:54the airport with his machine gun. We're kinda
- 19:57looking at him going, like, did we go this way? Like, I'm trying to pointing,
- 20:01and I wasn't really sure where to go, and he did that blink to
- 20:05me. They don't even nod. It was just a blink, but I'd totally forgotten
- 20:08it. I'm like, excuse me. Should we go this way? And he did it again,
- 20:12and then And I started asking again. He's like, yes.
- 20:16It doesn't go that way. Anyways, fast forward many
- 20:19years, Sammy did that to me once. He just blinked at me
- 20:23as if to say yes to me without verbally saying
- 20:27yes. I thought, Is that it just really
- 20:31surprised me to see a genetic communication.
- 20:35Now maybe he'd learned that as a baby, And it just sort of stuck with
- 20:38him without realizing. He doesn't do it a lot, but I just remember being like,
- 20:42oh, that was very, culturally appropriate
- 20:45response from him. And, you know, perhaps other
- 20:49Ethiopians would kinda say he's definitely responds
- 20:53in that way, but beyond that, I can't really say.
- 20:57Alright. So we're gonna fast forward a bit. You guys finished your
- 21:00time there in Ethiopia. You're bringing him
- 21:04on to an airplane. I share a little bit of that
- 21:07experience. Yes. Yeah. We had to travel. I
- 21:11think we landed in Yemen and then over to Germany and
- 21:15then back to Winnipeg. I remember being really well treated. We
- 21:19actually boarded the airplane on Christmas Eve on
- 21:22Lufthansa, which is a German airline,
- 21:26and they treated us so well. Like, they were just
- 21:30giving us the royal treatment, like, as if we were in 1st class with
- 21:33Sammy, and we had a bassinet. He could sleep there, and
- 21:37Santa Claus came on the airplane. They saw him on the
- 21:41wing, and he came on the airplane, and he was handing out Lufthansa
- 21:45gear, you know, to different people. And That was really, really
- 21:48great. Sammy slept. We slept, as much as we
- 21:52could. But when we landed in in Germany, in Frankfurt, Sammy
- 21:55would not go to sleep. Like, we we we had to walk him
- 21:59around the airport. I remember being so
- 22:03exhausted. Just like, please, please, like, let
- 22:07me stop pushing you so I can rest. And
- 22:11and as soon as we'd stop, he'd wake up or Start crying or or
- 22:14whatever. So maybe, like, just So you're getting a real
- 22:18new mom experience. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
- 22:22But The really neat thing was flying
- 22:26home and landing on Christmas day
- 22:29and coming down that elevator, And there was
- 22:3340 or 50 people waiting in the airport for
- 22:36us just blew my mind. To think
- 22:40that people would give up their Christmas dinner together as a family
- 22:44just to be there for us, for Kathy, it was
- 22:48Still is obviously very overwhelming to think of that
- 22:52love that was being poured out on us as a
- 22:55family And to be able to celebrate together on
- 22:59Christ's birthday. I had mentioned in my last our last
- 23:03conversation that We left on my birthday to go to
- 23:06Ethiopia. Sammy joined our family on that when we
- 23:10got to bring him back to the hotel on my mother's birthday, And
- 23:14then we were able to return to Winnipeg on Christ's birthday
- 23:18or when we celebrated, really
- 23:22solidified, like, the timing, the perfect
- 23:25timing. The father's perfect timing. Even
- 23:29back to my question about, can I ask
- 23:33you that we can go earlier than than the
- 23:36group? You know? And just affirming his
- 23:40goodness and grace to us over
- 23:43the many years of pain
- 23:47And, suffering waiting for this day to happen.
- 23:51It was awesome. Best Christmas ever.
- 23:55Absolutely. So we don't have much time to go into
- 23:59what life's been like for the last 15 years with
- 24:02Kathy. But what about this 1st few months? How important
- 24:06was community around you at that point? What kind of supports
- 24:10do you remember We're really helpful during that time.
- 24:14I think those 1st days were
- 24:18wonderful, you know, As much as I'm
- 24:22sure when people bring their babies home from the hospital, you're kind
- 24:26of in like, what is going on? And trying
- 24:30to find a rhythm together as a family.
- 24:34We were getting up at 4:30 in the morning because of the jet lag,
- 24:38and I think that 1st season
- 24:42was very exciting for us, and there is
- 24:45some Beautiful things that happen, like church community put
- 24:49on a sort of a welcome home for Sammy and a fundraiser to help
- 24:53Pay for the adoption and Wendi up raising enough to have paid for
- 24:57the trip itself, which was really wonderful and such a
- 25:01huge blessing to us. And just to know that
- 25:05there was that desire and connection to
- 25:08support us that way, with the family. I did feel some of
- 25:12the isolation of parenting. Eric
- 25:16went back to work almost right away, which is,
- 25:20you know, understandable because we had to keep living.
- 25:24But, then also in feeling more of an isolation, I think,
- 25:28in parenting and probably, again, very normal, I
- 25:31imagine. I think one thing that I probably didn't
- 25:35Speak up about because it seems very selfish that would have been very helpful
- 25:39is how often you hear of, oh, the new
- 25:42baby. Let's bring meals to the family to make sure that they have what they
- 25:46need. And, that was something that I didn't
- 25:49experience, which kinda felt like a bit of a a letdown that way. But
- 25:53I'm sure there's like, oh, well, you didn't give birth to the child, so you
- 25:56probably aren't feeling the physical aftereffects
- 26:00of of birthing a child. I'm guessing that's sort of the
- 26:03mentality or whatever, but I think that I feel like I would have
- 26:07benefited from some of that support just
- 26:11Even emotionally emotional support of knowing that,
- 26:14okay, they're they're thinking about me and and the challenges of
- 26:18parenting a new child. I think that's so important to bring up
- 26:22because, like, that's what our podcast is about, how do we love our
- 26:25neighbors better. And even for those that are bringing in
- 26:30Foster children Mhmm. Or if if they're temporary
- 26:33placements and adoption, like, that's still a new person in a
- 26:37home. Both people are adapting to life and
- 26:41they need to even feel that love and support around them. So
- 26:45People coming around, bringing meals. You don't have to
- 26:49actually physically give birth to a child to need that support and
- 26:53that love surrounding you from your community. Yeah. I do wanna
- 26:57apologize for anyone who did bring me a meal, and I've forgotten that you did.
- 27:01Please don't be offended. So that would have been a challenging journey,
- 27:05feeling isolated like a lot of new moms do because
- 27:09all of a sudden They're left alone. Their spouses aren't around, and they're left
- 27:12with this new person to care for. What are some ways that you're
- 27:16able to Stay strengthened spiritually during that time
- 27:20and even even mentally like, staying mentally healthy during
- 27:24that time. I think the,
- 27:27Opportunity to get to connect with other mothers going
- 27:31through the challenges of parenting is a really good
- 27:35thing. Moms groups, small groups,
- 27:39and taking those opportunities, but also
- 27:42Something I maybe wasn't as good at as I am now
- 27:46is taking care of yourself and taking
- 27:50those The time to get out to exercise, taking the
- 27:54time to be silent and to to be in
- 27:57prayer, to remember That you
- 28:01are an individual as well as a mother, and that you're a
- 28:05couple as well as parents, All those very important
- 28:09pieces, to keep in mind. I know it's hard. It can be
- 28:12hard because it's so easy to get wrapped up in Caring
- 28:16for your children and their needs and
- 28:19their well-being and but just being able to remember our own
- 28:23is good. It's not selfish. It's important so that you can care well,
- 28:27in caring for yourself. Yeah. And I think just the whole journey in of
- 28:31adoption, like, That whole mental health piece is huge. Dealing
- 28:35with infertility, you know, having gone through those years of it
- 28:38and processing it and Grieving, really, that
- 28:42loss, but also in an adoption knowing your family
- 28:46is about to be transformed forever, and I even
- 28:49liken it to getting married. You're making a choice to
- 28:53not be single anymore. You're making a choice for this person, and and the same
- 28:57thing with adoption. You're making a Choice to add this person to your
- 29:01family, and what a beautiful picture of
- 29:05commitment to one another, to saying, I choose you.
- 29:09You know? Just like you do when you're when you're getting married, you say to
- 29:12your your spouse, I choose you From this time forward, it it's
- 29:15the same thing with your child. I choose you,
- 29:20whatever that might mean, And for the future.
- 29:23Choosing to love another person that might not
- 29:27necessarily have that same Family, that
- 29:30same love if we didn't choose it. And that's what
- 29:34Christ does for all of us every day.
- 29:38He chooses to love us, and we get to reciprocate that by loving each
- 29:42other. It is so beautiful. And to be able to be a part of it
- 29:45and to Experience that as a family together and to live that
- 29:49out is sometimes challenging, you know,
- 29:53as as any relationship can be, but I would make that
- 29:57choice all over again. Now if you were doing it all over again, I'm
- 30:00gonna ask this question I did last episode. What kind of words would have been
- 30:04helpful for you to hear? I think just in the whole parenting
- 30:08piece, I would say to myself, relax,
- 30:13enjoy, because the years
- 30:17speed by so quickly and
- 30:20celebrate each moment. What do you think the
- 30:23Lord thinks about your adoption journey? If you looked at his
- 30:27face and told him that story, what would the look on
- 30:31his face be? I can only think that it's joy.
- 30:35Do you know that yes. Yes.
- 30:39That That creation of family. I
- 30:43mean, isn't that what he did when he created us?
- 30:47That finally being able to Pour out his
- 30:51love on us, the human race, that
- 30:54he's made us to be in relationship with that
- 30:58almost like a A dam bursting, you know, and the water
- 31:02gushing out. Finally finally, I can pour out
- 31:06my love. Yeah. The reality is we are all part of
- 31:10an adoption. He's adopted us, and
- 31:14so this conversation's relevant for all of us. We can get a
- 31:17glimpse into his heart, and we're so thankful that you you shared your story.
- 31:21We got to see a piece of the lord's heart that you've demonstrated for
- 31:25us. So thanks for joining us.
- 31:29Thank you for joining another conversation on Journey with Care, where
- 31:33we inspire They're curious Canadians on their path of faith and
- 31:37living life with purpose in community. Journey with Care is an
- 31:40initiative of Care Impact, a Canadian charity dedicated to
- 31:44connecting and equipping the whole church to journey well in community.
- 31:48You can visit their website CareImpact dotca, or visit journey with
- 31:51care dotca to get more information on weekly episodes, journey
- 31:55with prayer, and details about our upcoming events and Meetups.
- 31:59You can also leave us a message, share your thoughts, and connect with like
- 32:03minded individuals who are on their own journeys of faith and Purpose.
- 32:07Thank you for sharing this podcast and helping these stories reach the
- 32:10community. Together, we can explore ways to journey in a good way.
- 32:14And always remember to stay curious.