Latest / Project You 2.2 / Carrie - You’re Not Stuck Because You’re Busy… You’re Stuck Because You Won’t Decide (Series: Clutter → Clarity → Capacity, Ep. 4)

Transcript

Carrie - You’re Not Stuck Because You’re Busy… You’re Stuck Because You Won’t Decide (Series: Clutter → Clarity → Capacity, Ep. 4) · Project You 2.2

• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hi friends, welcome back to Project U 2.2.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Carrie Helmer, a life coach, former teacher of 31 years, mom of three boys, and someone who knows exactly what it feels like to start over again and again and again.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to talk about why that keeps happening because if you've ever said this time is gonna just be different, and then you found yourself right back where you started, this episode is for you.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to see if this sounds familiar.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: You get motivated, you decide you're gonna do it.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: You make a plan, you start strong, maybe it's with a diet, your health, exercise, or your daily routine, your mindset, your energy, and for a few days, maybe even a few weeks, you feel good.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: In control, you're proud of yourself, and then something happens, life gets busy, you get tired, you miss a day, and then another, and before you know it, you're back in old patterns, telling yourself, I'll start again Monday.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: The hardest part isn't starting over, although that gets harder and harder too, but it's the way you start seeing yourself because of it.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: You start thinking, why do I always do this?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: What's wrong with me?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Why can't I just stick with something?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And slowly it stops feeling like a behavior problem, and it starts feeling like a you problem.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I want you to see.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't a random thing that happens to you, it's a pattern.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: It is built on three things that we've been talking about in the last three episodes.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're carrying too much, you're staying busy to avoid it, and underneath it all, you don't fully trust yourself to follow through.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So the cycle looks like this: you feel overwhelmed and you decide to change.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: You go all in because you want out of that feeling.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: You don't give yourself space to do it sustainably because you're already running on empty.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so when life happens, you fall off.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And when you fall off, you lose trust in yourself.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And when you lose trust, the next time you start, you're already doubting yourself.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's the loop.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that loop all too well, and it's exhausting.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I've seen this in my clients and I've lived it myself.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it certainly doesn't happen because you don't care enough or because you're lazy or not disciplined enough.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because I see you.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I know that you can be disciplined and that you're not lazy.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's that you're trying to change your life from this place of frustration and exhaustion because the way you're starting isn't sustainable.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: So you keep quitting and you have to start over again and again.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So let's change that.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to push harder, but do it differently.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: I want to give you a different way to think about this.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking, why can't I do this?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll let you fill in the blank for what this is.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking yourself, why can't I do this?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, how do I make this something I can actually keep doing?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: The goal isn't to have a perfect week, but to have a repeatable one.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not about being perfect, it's not about being at a ten.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's learning how to go from being a two to a six or a seven.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now I can't help stop thinking about what the middle schoolers are saying with six, seven.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: But it's learning about how to live at a six or a seven consistently, and that's where real change happens.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: It might look like going for a 20-minute walk instead of skipping it completely.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: It might look like drinking more water even if everything else isn't perfect.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or stopping at one instead of saying, I already messed up, so it doesn't matter, I'm just gonna have another.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Showing up imperfectly and still showing up.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And when that happens, things start to change.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: We know it's not gonna happen fast, like the Amazon delivery or like warming something up in the microwave, but it will happen steadily.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: You will start to feel more in control, more consistent, more like someone who you can actually rely on.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where people get stuck on their own because they don't see their story clearly.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: They think they need more motivation, they think they need to be more disciplined, they think they need a better plan, but what they actually need is just a different approach, one that fits their life, one that builds trust instead of breaking it.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you have been stuck in this cycle of starting over and getting frustrated, losing momentum, telling yourself you'll do it later, I know how tiring that can be, how much you just feel like giving up and you don't even know where to start.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to ask yourself, how much longer do I want to keep doing this?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because a year from now, you could either be someone who is still starting over or still feeling like you wish you had enough energy to start over, or someone who stayed consistent long enough to actually change.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: The difference between those two people isn't willpower, it's how they choose to show up when things aren't perfect.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: If something in this episode felt a little too close to home, don't ignore that.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Awareness is where everything starts.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: The next step is deciding you're not going to stay there this time.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you're ready for that, go to www.project u22.org and set up a call.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: We will walk through what's really going on and map out what your next steps could actually look like.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to figure this out alone.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you have a great day, and I will see you in the next episode.