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Samantha's Book 7 Recap (A Parade of Horribles) · The Apocalypse Will Be Podcasted

0:00
Welcome back to the Apocalypse Will Be Podcasted,
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a podcast where we overanalyze every chapter
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of Dungeon Crawler Carl like it's a college thesis
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written during a nervous breakdown. We talk theories,
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character arcs, dungeon nonsense, and all the
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moments that made us laugh, panic, or just sit
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there staring at the wall for a while. We are
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a big feelings podcast, so expect plenty of emotional
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damage, character breakdowns, and way too much
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discussion about things that probably were not
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meant to be analyzed this hard. Sorry, Matt.
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This is a full spoilers podcast covering all
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released books, including The Pineapple Cabaret.
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So if you're not caught up, now's your chance
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to turn back. You've been warned. Hello, and
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today we are covering Samantha's recap chapter
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from book eight. This is going to be pretty short,
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but we do have a couple of points that we want
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to make. Why would you say that it's going to
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be short? I know, we always think that episodes
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are going to be like 10 minutes and then they
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end up being like 45. I think that's because
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when we don't... When we know we don't have a
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lot of content to go over, we go on side tangents
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a lot more. That might be true, but I do kind
1:05
of just want to have at least one episode for
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every chapter, so I don't want to skip the recap,
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even if I don't have a ton to say. The recap
1:14
that Samantha does to tell us all about Book
1:17
7, Faction Wars. You know, honestly, I like Quasar's
1:22
recap chapter at the beginning of... this inevitable
1:25
ruin more. I was really excited when I heard
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that Samantha was going to be doing the recap
1:31
chapter for this book, but... And for those who
1:34
don't know, this was a Patreon poll. Yeah, it
1:37
was. So you got to vote. I think, obviously,
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Samantha was an option. Was one of them Princess
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Remittable? I genuinely don't remember. Yeah.
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I don't remember who all the options were. Maybe
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Tiffin was one of them. I feel like Bucket Boy
1:52
was one, actually. Yeah. But that is, like, just...
1:55
My gut feeling. Yeah, maybe Rosetta might have
1:58
been an option. I'm not sure. Mistress Teotha
2:00
would be an interesting one. I think she might
2:04
have been a choice on there. Anyways. It would
2:07
be fun, but I think from the perspective of it
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being a letdown, I think just the expectations
2:13
of having a chapter from Samantha's point of
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view was so high. It does a pretty good job of
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sticking to be a recap episode. And it doesn't
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have a lot of like really crazy Samantha lines.
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No, not too much. Mostly just her getting just
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a little bit distracted and confused about her
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child or something. She kind of keeps popping
2:37
up throughout the short chapter that it is. Well,
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and it does give some context to Samantha says
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that she always doesn't know what's going on.
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And that like sometimes she has memories and
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sometimes she doesn't. And sometimes she has
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very clear goals that she's going after. And
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then sometimes she forgets them. Sometimes she
3:01
doesn't know whose mother she wants to kill.
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And then sometimes she knows exactly whose mother
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she wants to kill and why. She doesn't know if
3:08
she loves or hates Tepid. And she doesn't know
3:10
anything about his mother. She does not know
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anything about his mother. She does not like
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the fact that he doesn't have eyebrows. I think
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that makes her very mistrustful of him. And,
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you know, I will say people look really weird
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without eyebrows. I think it might have come
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up on another on a previous episode of ours.
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Like if you look at pictures of people with their
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eyebrows photoshopped off, it's wrong. So Crest
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must be very strange looking. At least you were
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mostly too young to remember when people were
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drawing on their eyebrows and shaving them intentionally.
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Yeah, I mean, if you draw them on, I mean, I
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don't think that that's like the best look. But
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like if you have them drawn on, it looks. Better
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than no eyebrows. It was still really weird.
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It was. I saw a lady in the store the other day.
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Who had like permanent tattoos. Permanent tattooed
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eyebrows. But they were like. They were like
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McDonald's arches. Like it was intense. And it
4:04
was definitely a look. And she definitely made
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some choices. Very interesting choices. So we'll
4:11
get back on track here. Samantha has requested
4:15
help. From Tippid and Bucket Boy. with her endeavor
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of redecorating Carl's room, which she says that
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she got in the breakup and she is entitled to
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it. And Carl never uses it anyways. No, because
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he always sleeps with Donut. He does, which is
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super cute. She is decorating Carl's bedroom,
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her room, with stuff that she stole from the
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Laracos College. And it says that she got some
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stuff from Tish, who is the Mad Dune Mage's ex
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-girlfriend. Yeah, so apparently Samantha was
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sneaking into her room and stealing stuff. Including
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a chandelier. And she's also got the slugalos
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helping her out. And they're not tall enough
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to help with putting up the chandelier. Yeah,
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but she's supposed to be explaining to Tepid
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what just happened because he lost his memory,
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which was part of an attack that happened during
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the last book. So that's a pretty good framing
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device. Samantha is trying to get help with redecorating
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the room and people are like, no, we're supposed
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to be reminding Tepid what happened. And she's
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like, I'll do it. Yeah. Okay. So she rolls over
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to this chandelier and she's thinking in her
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head of that. She got it from the room next to
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Tisha's room when she had done that thing that
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she wasn't going to talk about because everyone
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would get mad. And it's a bit unclear on what
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this thing is. I expect it has something to do
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with. or her daughter or something with the war
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mages. It's a bit unclear. Yeah, it's open to
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interpretation. Mm -hmm. But so she's got Bucket
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Boy and Tippett to help her put this chandelier
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up, and then Bucket Boy's like, um, this isn't
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a chandelier. This is a swing. I think it's a
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sex swing. Yes, I think it might be a sex swing.
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And then this is where Samantha starts info -dumping
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everything about the seventh floor to Tippett.
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And I guess we're not going to like go over everything,
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right? No. More so want to talk about kind of
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like what's happening in this chapter, not the
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actual recap that Samantha is giving. Yeah, I
6:22
don't think we need to do a recap of a recap.
6:25
Right. I mean, that is technically what we're
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doing. Oh, we're pulling out salient and interesting
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points and giving commentary on them. And this
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is where we get one of the. best lines from the
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entire book series and it says there's room for
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other opinions there it says samantha neck cootered
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the drill onto the floor and that is just so
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much worse and also better than nussie i i i
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don't approve mongo is appalled on that one as
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far as i'm concerned i will say per matt the
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word nussie was only used once so maybe this
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will be the next thing that blows up it very
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well may be um that and boop boop has definitely
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caught on and um i actually love that because
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people have used it as a shorthand to say that
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they've finished book eight so people will be
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like so are you done with the book and people
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just go boop and that is my favorite thing in
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the entire world yeah absolutely and boops are
7:24
a part of our day -to -day life we regularly
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boop each other's noses and our cat's noses and
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now our dog's nose we have a dog now In a wild
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couple of weeks. It sure has. We keep getting
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these kind of like weird lines from Samantha
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throughout and she's thinking about Tippett and
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she's like, Tippett's mother would never have
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had the chance to trick Samantha into dot, dot,
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dot. And I think what is being referenced here
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is actually at the end of A Parade of Horribles,
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Samantha says she was tricked into giving birth.
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to the sandus which would bring into life inside
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and outside of the dungeon and so it's interesting
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to think about and i know that there's a lot
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tied up and wrapped up in samantha's story that
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we honestly still don't have a lot of answers
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to no and i've swung like wildly back and forth
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when i'm reading it like there's been times where
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i've been like yes i know who the scavenger and
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the scavenger's daughter is and then there's
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been times where i've been like No, I have no
8:27
idea. And there's definitely been times where
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I've been like, yes, this is it. But after my
8:34
second read through, I don't know. Although I
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felt like in the middle of my second read through
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that I did know. And then at the end, I felt
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like I didn't know again. Yeah, it's very confusing.
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There is a chapter. I think this is how Samantha
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feels. I think so, too. There is a chapter like
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halfway through the book where Rosetta kind of
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relays the actual story. of the scavenger and
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the scavenger's daughter and I think like your
9:00
first time reading that you're like oh my god
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I have so much insight and knowledge now and
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like it all makes sense and then you stop and
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think about it and you're like actually I think
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maybe I'm more confused than before. Yeah and
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I think that there's some good lampshade hanging
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in there where Rosetta's like well there's a
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lot of different versions of the story heard.
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So we find out that Samantha and Biggs get along
9:21
very well and Samantha has now invited Biggs
9:24
to her bachelorette party and they girl talk
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and gab regularly. After we learn that Samantha
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and Biggs get up to girl talk a lot, it says
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here, Samaith's baby was dead. Isn't that very
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interesting? Because Samaith and Samantha should
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be the same person, yes? Yes. So why is she referring
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to a third person like that? Because it's Samantha.
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It's not always how Samantha talks about herself.
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I find it interesting there. Yeah, the like internal
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kind of like thoughts through this chapter are
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very interesting and they're jumbled and it's
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kind of like incoherent and confusing. I think
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it's meant to be that way. And I think that that's
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kind of a bit of a look into Samantha's head
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that probably pretty confusing and chaotic in
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there. Yeah, definitely. And it says that her
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thoughts always got fuzzy when she remembered
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her child and she doesn't know why she loses
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track of. And then she starts talking about something
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else. Mm -hmm. Yeah, and that just keeps happening
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throughout the chapter. She starts telling Tippett
10:27
about faction wars and that normally it's just
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a boring floor and nothing happens, but the crawlers
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came along and made things interesting. Carl
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and Donut won and blah, blah, blah. She said
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that there was a bunch of stupid suicidal moron
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former crawlers who came back to faction wars
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and Tippett's like, uh, like me? If his memory
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is gone, will he still know that he's a suicidal
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stupid crawler? And Samantha also talks about
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the NPC team all getting transported to the Ascendancy
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Games and that we probably won't see any of them
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until we get to that floor. And boy, she is not
11:06
wrong because we don't hear a thing about Juicebox
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for the entirety of this book. You know who else
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we haven't heard anything about in a book and
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a half? Who's that? Prince is formidable. Yeah.
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The AI says that she's a good doggy paddler,
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so we know she survived in Book 7, which is interesting
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because people will say, ah, rest in peace about
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her, and I'm like, she's not dead. I do wish
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we could see what she's been doing on the Earth's
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surface and that we had some updates. I would
11:33
be very interested to know. I wish we had pretty
11:36
much any updates about the Earth's surface. As
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much as we learn in Book 8, there's still so
11:43
much that we don't learn. The only thing we know
11:46
about Katya is that she's in the kinder facility.
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Like, that's it. I really thought we would get
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more from her. If I'd had to put money down before
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I read book eight, I would have said that there's
11:56
no possible way that we're going to get to the
11:58
end of the book without having any updates on
12:00
her. Yeah, I was really, really surprised by
12:04
that and somewhat disappointed. And after reading
12:08
the end of book eight again today, like the next
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book is going to be so absolutely. insane that
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like i don't know where matt is going to find
12:19
time for like more what's going to be happening
12:23
in the ascendancy games and everything is just
12:25
going to be so off the walls i think that is
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where things are going to maybe start spilling
12:29
out of the dungeon more i mean it can't be surprising
12:33
because all of floor 11 in book 8 starts at 88
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of the book being completed And it's only the
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last 12 % of the book. And so much happens in
12:48
such a short amount of pages that I think that
12:53
there could be some surprises in there. But I'm
12:56
going to lose some more of my money and throw
12:57
down that we're probably going to hear from Katya
12:59
very early in book nine. And I wouldn't be surprised
13:02
if she's one of the prologue chapters. Boy, I
13:05
sure hope so. And I think it's also, this isn't
13:09
related to that, but I was just thinking, So,
13:13
since the gods have been able to leak out of
13:16
the dungeon, does that mean that if there was,
13:20
let's say, like, we think and suspect that Carl
13:24
and Donut and some of the other crawlers are
13:25
going to be piloting gods in the Ascendancy games?
13:28
I think they are gods. Well, I mean, they're
13:31
going to be piloting gods. No, I think they're
13:34
actually becoming gods for the end of the last
13:36
chapter, but that's just me. I think that they're
13:39
going to be piloting gods. I don't think that
13:41
they're... being turned into gods i mean i always
13:45
say that if you want to uh do well in an argument
13:48
you need to just start defining terms so define
13:51
the term gods i mean the characters that we have
13:55
left are the most powerful crawlers who have
13:58
ever existed how is that fundamentally different
14:01
than being a god well i think that the from the
14:05
way that the AI talks about the gods in the dungeon,
14:10
that they are significantly stronger than any
14:14
of the crawlers, really, and even says more powerful
14:17
than himself, and basically infers that anyone
14:20
who is going to be piloting a god has near, like,
14:24
total power, basically. So it makes, I guess,
14:27
more sense from a power scale level that, like,
14:31
Donut would be stronger if she was piloting,
14:34
like, just for example, than if she's just a
14:38
donut. I'm going to disagree here. I just don't
14:40
think that's what's going to happen. I think
14:42
that they're just going to be themselves with
14:46
their own power level, but they are going to
14:47
be treated as some of the gods in the ascendancy.
14:50
So are they just going to get boosted up to level
14:52
250? I don't think they need to. They've defeated
14:56
a lot of gods who were a lot stronger than them
14:59
just with their cleverness and their plans. And
15:03
I don't see a reason why the ascendancy would
15:05
be different. The whole point of what I was trying
15:09
to get at, though, is that if you go into the
15:12
ascendancy games and you pilot a god, would you
15:15
then be able to leak out of the dungeon? Because
15:18
the unpiloted gods are currently doing that.
15:21
I mean, I think that maybe anyone could link
15:25
out of the dungeon. They just have been too preoccupied
15:29
to really have the time to figure that out. So
15:32
kind of the point I wanted to make here is that
15:35
when the AI needed to speak, it used Chaco and
15:40
then Grigori as, you know, kind of avatars for
15:44
itself. So I think instead of like piloting gods
15:48
that we could see maybe other NPCs come back
15:53
as gods, but they're actually some of the outside
15:55
AIs. Some of the, yeah, some of the outside intelligences.
15:59
Yeah, and I find that more interesting than just,
16:01
like, assigning them a god to pilot. Like, I
16:03
think it gives a lot more room for an interesting
16:07
narrative. Mm -hmm. I think so, too. But, yeah,
16:10
and then, like, as far as, like, you know, maybe...
16:13
While they have been trying to get people out
16:16
of the dungeon, they've been trying to do so
16:18
within the limits of what they've been told by
16:21
the war mages or someone else. Mm -hmm. I don't
16:24
think that they've really tried to test the limits.
16:28
of what the ai turning off the controls and like
16:31
expanding its own of influence means so like
16:34
maybe you know one of the garbage trucks could
16:36
come in and get the crawlers out of the dungeon
16:39
you know maybe it could get all the kids out
16:41
of the kinder care facility like we don't really
16:44
know i mean theoretically so like you're not
16:47
wrong because at this point the ai is basically
16:50
all powerful i mean you know it and says that
16:54
it has less power than the gods in a lot of ways.
16:57
But if it wanted to, it could bring anyone in
17:00
or out of the dungeon. It could bring the entire
17:02
Open Intellect Pacifist Network's spaceship in
17:05
there if it wanted to. It could kill everyone
17:08
if it wanted to. It has pretty boundless power
17:12
at this point. So, I mean, yeah, it could happen
17:15
if the AI wanted it to. And I would say that
17:19
from Baroness Victory's epilogue, which... The
17:22
epilogues in this book are the most interesting
17:24
things that have ever happened in Dungeon Crawler
17:28
Carl. Things are really off the rails on the
17:31
surface. And really, we have no idea what could
17:37
be possible because the crawlers don't have any
17:39
outside communication. Yeah. At this point, are
17:42
they still talking to the message boards? I mean,
17:45
probably. Yeah, I'm sure Jonah is when they have
17:48
time. don't have a lot of time to go and hang
17:51
out in their personal space these days. Got a
17:54
lot going on. Well, would that have been one
17:56
of the loopholes that got closed in 7? To talk
17:59
with outside people to get outside information?
18:02
Yeah, that would apply to Donut's message boards,
18:04
right? Those were already heavily filtered, though.
18:07
So maybe, maybe not. I mean, I'm sure at this
18:10
point, like you said, probably doesn't matter.
18:11
And the AI probably doesn't care. I mean, I also
18:14
guess how much does the syndicate actually know
18:16
about Gossip Girl, which is one of the ways that...
18:18
Zev and Donut have been sending coded messages.
18:21
Yeah, pretty much. So that was a very long side
18:26
tangent and digression that mostly had to do
18:28
with the end of Book 8 and not the recap of Book
18:32
7. Another person whose status is unknown at
18:36
this point is Agatha. But we do get some pretty
18:40
heavy hints towards the end of the book. Yeah,
18:41
Samantha brings up Agatha because she was...
18:44
aligned with the war mages temporarily. And then
18:48
they decided that they didn't want to be aligned.
18:50
And the war mages asked Carl to kill Agatha.
18:53
And then we don't hear anything from Agatha for
18:56
the entirety of book eight. There was a chapter
18:58
that was an interlude chapter that got dropped
19:02
from the final version of the book. You can go
19:04
and read it on his Patreon, but it is very confusing.
19:07
Yeah, I don't know if it got dropped because
19:09
he decided it would fit in better somewhere else.
19:14
Or if it just straight up didn't make sense and
19:16
it's not me, it didn't make sense. Yeah, it was
19:19
very confusing. And so Samantha's talking about
19:22
the war mages here and she's like, they stole,
19:24
they took. Have you seen how pretty my room is?
19:28
And I think she was thinking that they took her
19:31
daughter, which they definitely did. And the
19:34
whereabouts of the sand ooze are currently unknown.
19:38
Which is crazy because I'm on Gate of the Girl
19:41
Gods this week. That's my side reading this week.
19:44
And who knew that that Sandu's was going to be
19:47
such a big and persistent deal. Right. And we
19:51
still have no idea what it do at all. And it's
19:55
like interesting going through this recap and
19:58
talking about it because. When I, you know, read
20:01
book eight and like finish, I was like, oh, my
20:03
God, like so many questions are answered. We
20:05
learn so much, like all these big questions throughout
20:07
the entirety of the series have been answered.
20:08
And there is still so much that's not answered.
20:12
So Samantha keeps going on and she talks about
20:16
Midas, the giant dick God, and that the only
20:19
aspect of his personality is that he works on
20:22
his duck facing. Makes sense because he's a dick.
20:24
Ha ha. Mm hmm. And then. Samantha sniffs at Tippett
20:30
and says, show me your penis. He's like, uh,
20:33
not that type of book. No, but in the audio book,
20:37
like it is so funny and just out of nowhere because
20:40
she's just telling this story. She stops. Show
20:43
me your penis. He's like, what? No. Fair. Tippett.
20:47
I will say that this probably seems like it would
20:50
work more on the audio version. I did go back
20:53
and listen to some parts of the audio book, but
20:55
this wasn't one of them. It is very fun in the
20:59
audio book. I will say that like starting out
21:03
with this being the first chapter, I think that
21:06
Jeff changed Samantha's voice a little bit. And
21:09
so starting out, I was kind of like, that's not
21:12
what Samantha sounds like. This is wrong. But
21:15
the second listen through, it was, you know,
21:18
I guess I was, that's what Samantha sounds like
21:20
now. So I was used to it. We get a reminder of
21:23
what's going on with Lucia Mar and all the kids
21:26
that are inside of her head. And what does Samantha
21:30
say here? I say kill her anyway, because children
21:33
are so much trouble and is people who are joyfully
21:36
child free. We'll just keep our comments on that
21:39
to a minimum. I mean, killing children is never
21:43
on the table, except for in fiction. And it is
21:47
on the table, I suppose. Still considered a bad
21:49
move in fiction. Unless it's a bunch of goblin
21:53
babies, then it's totally fine. Unless you've
21:56
read the Pineapple Cabaret when you know that
21:59
that is bad and you should feel bad. Which if
22:02
you don't know what happened in the Pineapple
22:04
Cabaret at this point, then I don't know what
22:06
to tell you. Listen to our recap episode is what
22:09
I would tell you. I don't think we talk about
22:11
that part of it. Yeah, I think we do. Yeah. Another
22:15
interesting thing that is mentioned in this chapter
22:18
is Samantha talks about when they go into Club
22:21
Vanquisher and she goes into one of the temples
22:24
so that she can talk to and confront her mom,
22:28
Thea. She goes in there and it's some weird bird
22:31
dude and he's like, I'm not your mom. And she's
22:34
like, yeah, no shit, bucko. And he's like, no,
22:35
I mean, Thea isn't. And that's very interesting.
22:39
It sure is. And I don't really know why Samantha
22:42
thinks Thea is her mother. Also, if Samantha
22:46
is the scavenger's daughter, then one of the
22:49
other goddesses should theoretically be her mother,
22:53
Apito. Oh, yeah. She is absolutely linked to
22:57
Apito, though, and that is why Tyrannus takes
23:00
her at the end of the book. And then we also
23:04
learn some more stuff about her in Louis' chapter
23:08
at the end of the book as well. So, lots of mystery
23:11
and intrigue, but yeah. Not Samantha's mother?
23:15
I will say that people apparently have a little
23:19
bit of limited thinking when it comes to podcast
23:23
formats. Because people just lost their damn
23:27
minds that we weren't starting on book one. They
23:30
were like, what do you mean? And a couple of
23:33
people were actually really nasty about it. I'm
23:35
not going to lie. I want to start at the end
23:38
of book eight and go towards the beginning. I
23:41
honestly had that thought the other day. I was
23:43
like, you know, we already started with book
23:45
seven. What if we went backwards through book
23:50
eight and just really, you know, turn this whole
23:52
thing up on its head? I know there's just so
23:56
much at the end of book eight that I want to
23:58
talk about. And there's so much to get to before
24:00
that. And there are parts that I love in the
24:03
rest of book eight. And there's parts that I'm
24:05
really excited to talk about. But definitely
24:07
the end of the book is like. burning a hole in
24:10
my brain i know how but like it would be really
24:13
fun to actually go start at the very last chapter
24:16
of book eight and then go backwards like that
24:20
would be a very interesting way to do it i don't
24:23
know if people would like that though but it
24:25
would be fun and it would be the original i i
24:28
don't know if anyone else has done a podcast
24:30
where they started at the last episode of a tv
24:34
show or the last chapter of a book and then went
24:37
through it that way I mean, we would be bringing
24:39
that sweet, sweet, sexy scolopendra action to
24:43
you before anyone else. That is 100 % true. Yeah.
24:48
So Samantha gets through most of the tale that
24:53
she was relaying to Tippett. And there's two
24:55
passages towards the end of this chapter that
24:57
I want to read. Well, I'll read one of them.
25:00
And Samantha says, after that part, the most
25:03
important thing that happened is that Louis broke
25:05
up with Juicebox so we can have our tour to fair.
25:07
And Katya left, Tippett said. Oh yes, Louis,
25:10
being so virile, made Katya pregnant just by
25:13
standing near her. And she got shuffled off to
25:15
a nunnery or something. I don't know. I wasn't
25:17
paying attention. Yeah, I wasn't paying attention.
25:19
It's definitely one of my favorites. I love Louis
25:22
being so virile. Just that whole thing is fantastic.
25:28
Which I don't know if I've talked on the pod
25:29
before. I really think that Louis is Matt Denman's
25:32
standard. Another layer of funny. Yeah. Quite
25:36
possibly. And then we get another important passage.
25:41
Bree? Yeah. And then me and Embers had a little
25:44
talk. And then Justice Light, the Skyfall dude,
25:47
broke the nothing. So all the demon ladies who
25:49
hate me are now loose and it's probably going
25:51
to cause a problem. Oh, and Scolopendra, the
25:53
big stampede at the bottom of the dungeon, woke
25:56
up. And Hippod's like, yeah, I think I'm good.
26:00
And then Big says, I thought you explained it
26:03
perfect. We look forward to having you join us
26:05
next week where Princess Donut does one of the
26:08
best takedowns in all of history. Yeah, that
26:12
might have to be two episodes. My outline for
26:14
that is crazy. New achievement. You've listened
26:17
to another episode of The Apocalypse Will Be
26:20
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26:24
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