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Carrie - Eric Dane’s Final Words: 4 Lessons on Living Fully · Project You 2.2

• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hi friends, welcome back to Project U two point two.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Carrie, and today's episode is unlike any I've done so far.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about someone who inspired millions on screen, and he left us with a deeply personal, powerful message just days after his death.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Eric Dane, maybe best known as Dr.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: McSteamy on Gray's Anatomy.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: He was a father, a husband, a friend, and someone who carried his work in life with intention.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Three days after he passed, a Netflix interview aired.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't seen it, I would highly recommend you go back and watch because it was recorded ahead of time, and in it, Eric left four messages for his children.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: A message that could only be heard after he was gone.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine recording something for your kids that they would only hear after your death.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: The courage, the love, the intention in that act is so breathtaking and heartwarming.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And as a parent, I can't even imagine the weight of leaving young children a message like that.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know exactly how old his kids are, but the thought of wanting them to hear your love, your guidance, and lessons after you're gone is so heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: I watched the full 50-minute interview and I knew I had to share it with you, not just as a reflection on him, but a lesson for all of us.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So today we're going to unpack his four messages, explore what they mean in real life, and talk about how we can apply them in our careers, relationships, and daily lives.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get into it.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So to stay in the present because the past is filled with regrets and the future is filled with unknowns.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let that sink in for a minute.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: How often do we live in the past thinking about what we should have done, or in the future worrying about what might happen?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Dane's reminder is simple but so profound.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Right now is what we have.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thinking about this personally, I have had mornings where I wake up with anxiety, my chest is tight, my mind is racing, and I have to remind myself that my people are okay, my past is done, and the future is unknown, and so right now I can breathe, I can show up, I can relax, and I can choose how to live today.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it isn't always just that easy, but practicing presence is one of the most radical acts we can do.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: So pause and ask yourself what is one regret or worry that you can release today so that you can show up fully right now in this moment today.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: His second message was to fall in love and not just with a person that you're in a relationship with, but to fall in love with your career and a person.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Find your path, find your purpose, your dream, and then go for it.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And this message is so beautiful, it's universal.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Dane is talking to his kids, but it's advice for all of us.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Don't wait to find love.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Don't wait to find purpose and don't wait to pursue your dream.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I love this because I have had to reinvent myself multiple times.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: After I left teaching for 31 years, I stepped into coaching and I stepped onto stages that I never imagined I could do.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And every step was a choice to fall in love again, fall in love with this new chapter and with the process and with myself.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: So where's something in your life that you've been hesitant to fall in love with?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Your career, a creative pursuit, a person.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And what's a small step that you could take this week toward that goal or toward falling in love with that?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: His third message was to choose your friends wisely and to give yourself to them.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the best will give back with no judgment.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: They just show up and they will entertain and they will also just be there for you.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: This one hits hard because relationships truly do define our quality of life.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we think relationships come with so much complication.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm honest, they they sure do.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because there can be moments when you disagree or your feelings get her in some kind of a friendship and you question it and you wonder if it's worth the time, if it's worth the effort.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: But it is so important that we continue to evaluate those relationships, but that we do invest the time and the work into those friendships because we can't control everything, but we can choose the people that we let into our lives, and those relationships, those friends can lift us up, they can challenge us lovingly, and they show up.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Those are rare and those are invaluable.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think about the people in my life, my my former students, my coaching clients, my friends, my family, the ones who show up without judgment, who are present in the messy parts of my life, and those are the friendships, the relationships that give my life meaning.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: So take a moment to just reflect.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Who truly shows up for you?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Who do you invest in?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you need to be more intentional with who you are investing in.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, Eric's last message was that whether it's in challenges in health or anything else, don't give up.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Fight.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let things take your spirit.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Just learn to be resilient and bounce back and to keep getting up.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: We see this in our careers, our health, our relationships.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Life can certainly throw punches.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And Dane's words aren't just about his physical health, even though that was a struggle for him at the end, but they're about your spirit and your resilience.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about the first time I presented at a state superintendent's conference.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was nervous.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was doubting myself.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: I kept thinking, what if no one shows up?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: What if I didn't bring value to those who did?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I almost wish that I hadn't been accepted to speak.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I went anyways and I showed up and I learned that courage isn't the absence of fear because I was scared.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: But courage is showing up despite that fear.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: We all have our fight moments because remember, resilience is a muscle that we have to work on.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: So the act of standing up one more time, doing it again, choosing presence, love, and friendship, that's the fight that Eric Dane is talking about.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: So what do those four messages teach us all together?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: One, to stay present, let go of what you can't control, two, fall in love with life, with work, relationships, find a purpose, and three, choose your friends and community wisely.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Four, fight, persist, protect your spirit.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: These are actionable, they're human, they're not abstract, they're reminders that we can decide how we show up every day no matter what's behind us or what's ahead of us.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: So as you leave this episode today, ask yourself which of those messages hits hardest for you and where do you need to show up more fully?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: In love?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Your career?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Friendships?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Resilience?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Eric Dean recorded these words for his children to guide them even after he was gone.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: We can all take them as a blueprint for living intentionally, a reminder of how to live fully, how to love fully, and how to fight fully every single day.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode stirred something in you, a desire to step into your next chapter, that's the work I do through Project U 2.2.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: I help teens and adults find clarity, courage, and action in those transitions of life.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready to step fully into your next season, reach out to me at www.project U22.org or email me Carrie at ProjectU22.org.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, life and living life fully starts with living right now in the present, falling in love, choosing friends wisely, and protecting your spirit.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Carrie Helmer.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.