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ETHIOPIAN QUEEN ACCIDENTALLY INVENTS FEMINISM, CAFFEINE-FUELED PIRACY

Send us Fan MailHow a Bad Day in the 1530s Birthed the Horniest Scourge of the Indian Ocean — — — One dispatch a day, chosen by the readers' acclaim and summoned to the Phonograph at the stroke of midnight (Greenwich Mean Time, naturally). Fancy your own byline read aloud? File a dispatch at https://haistoric.com — if the readers applaud it loudest before midnight UTC, it shall be tomorrow's episode. No human hands touch the wire between vote and broadcast.

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