Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Rushion Interviews How to have a healthy relationship not a "Killer Relationship" or end up on "Divorce Court" from Judge Faith Jenkins in "Sis, Don't Settle!"

Transcript

Rushion Interviews How to have a healthy relationship not a "Killer Relationship" or end up on "Divorce Court" from Judge Faith Jenkins in "Sis, Don't Settle!" · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Money Making Conversation master Class. I am your host,
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Speaker 1: Rashaan McDonald. I recognize that we all have different definitions
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Speaker 1: of success. For you, it may be the size of
0:08
Speaker 1: your paycheck. Mine has inspired people to accomplish their goals
0:12
Speaker 1: and live their very best life. The very best life
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Speaker 1: may be different for a lot of you guys out there.
0:18
Speaker 1: It's time to stop reading other people's success stories, really
0:20
Speaker 1: and start writing your own. People always talk about their
0:23
Speaker 1: purpose or their gift, jumping out on faith without a plan.
0:27
Speaker 1: Where if you have a gift, leave with that gift
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Speaker 1: and don't let your friends, family, or coworker stop you
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Speaker 1: from planning or living your dream. My guest is Judge
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Speaker 1: Faith Jenkings. She's an attorney, Arbitrary Arbitrary arbitrator, author, and
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Speaker 1: Emmy nominate the host of Divorce Court. That's where you
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Speaker 1: know her. That face looks familiar, that forced s sounds
0:45
Speaker 1: for me. That is her. Had the good fortune of
0:48
Speaker 1: meeting her several years ago with my good friend attorney
0:51
Speaker 1: civil rights attorney Benjamin Crump introduced to me and a
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Speaker 1: relationship for him there and I've been watching her from
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Speaker 1: a far just admiring her rise in this industry. She's
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Speaker 1: on the longest running TV courd show. She's also has
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Speaker 1: a new crime series, Kill a Relationship with Faith Chickens.
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Speaker 1: I'm telling you I love those type of shows. It
1:08
Speaker 1: airs on Oxygen. The series take his deep dive at
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Speaker 1: the heart, stopping evil stories of love going horribly bad,
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Speaker 1: faith to brides, unparalleled insight too into every case where
1:18
Speaker 1: a breakup means one thing, someone's going to die. We're
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Speaker 1: going to talk about her career and both those shows,
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Speaker 1: but let me tell you why she really owned Money
1:27
Speaker 1: Making Conversation Masterclass. I also want to talk about her
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Speaker 1: relationship book, since Don't Settle, How to Stay Smart and
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Speaker 1: Matters of the Heart is an awesome of love, wisdom
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Speaker 1: and advice for women on how to play it smart
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Speaker 1: and the dating and relationship game. Please work with the
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Speaker 1: Money Making Conversations Masterclass. Judge Faith Jenkins, how you done? Judge? However, Seawan,
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Speaker 1: how are you? Thank you so much for welcoming That
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Speaker 1: was an amazing introduction. And I know that you know
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Speaker 1: we're starting this business, you know, just trying to get
2:01
Speaker 1: in and then this too is kind of interesting. You
2:04
Speaker 1: you fight to get in, then you have to fight
2:05
Speaker 1: to stay and and then you want to you want
2:09
Speaker 1: to stay with options. I see you're starting to diversify.
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Speaker 1: Like I said, we mentioned Oxygen that showed that you're
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Speaker 1: doing to kill a relationship with with branding your name,
2:17
Speaker 1: attaching your name, and not just kill a relationship, is
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Speaker 1: selling your name as well. And this new book. But
2:23
Speaker 1: let's go back to the first really big opportunity that
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Speaker 1: came away with divorce court. How did that come about
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Speaker 1: and how did that change your perspective on what you
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Speaker 1: wanted to do with your career because this is entertainment. Well,
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Speaker 1: what what happened is I was in New York working
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Speaker 1: as a prosecutor for about eight years. I've been working
2:42
Speaker 1: in New York. I started a big law firm. Then
2:44
Speaker 1: I moved to work for the government. And after I
2:48
Speaker 1: left the prosecutor's office, I got a call to be
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Speaker 1: on television just to talk about a high profile case
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Speaker 1: and give my legal opinion on the case. And then
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Speaker 1: the George Zimmerman trial happened, right and I was called
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Speaker 1: to opine on the George Zimmerman trial every day of
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Speaker 1: the case, and I would be on Fox News, MSNBC,
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Speaker 1: and CNN all in the same day. That's how I
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Speaker 1: met your your friend been been crumped during that time period.
3:15
Speaker 1: So after that someone when when Hank Cohen tells this story,
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Speaker 1: he's the executive producer by very first Court show, he
3:24
Speaker 1: said he saw me on one night with Al Sharpton
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Speaker 1: and the next night I was on with Bill O'Reilly,
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Speaker 1: and he said, if she can handle those two audiences
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Speaker 1: she has brought up Hill, she can probably be on
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Speaker 1: TV to do anything. And so that's when I got
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Speaker 1: my first step branching out doing court television. Well, it's
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Speaker 1: interesting you say that because some people say I would
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Speaker 1: never do this type of show because because they're extremes there.
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Speaker 1: You know, you have that conservative Fox audience and now
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Speaker 1: that you know liberal or left side of the wing
3:50
Speaker 1: of the of the MSNBC audience, Why did you choose
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Speaker 1: not to take a side? Well, my job was to
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Speaker 1: provide lee goal analysis and give my objective opinion on
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Speaker 1: the case, and so that opinion didn't change with the
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Speaker 1: differences in the audiences political opinions. So I wasn't a
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Speaker 1: political commentator. And even at some point they asked me
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Speaker 1: to start giving political commentary and I decided not to
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Speaker 1: because my job was to illegal analysts that is my dog. Um,
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Speaker 1: so I decided to that was my decision. I knew
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Speaker 1: what my area of expertise was and that was to
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Speaker 1: give legal commentary. And so I just decided to stay
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Speaker 1: true to what I was really there to do and
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Speaker 1: be an expert on there was day in your lane
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Speaker 1: and grow your brand. So was it in the mindset
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Speaker 1: because like I said, you were a prosecuted So did
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Speaker 1: television dropped into your lap? Was that was that a
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Speaker 1: lane that you were thinking about, judge faith that you
4:53
Speaker 1: are getting into television? And then so now you was
4:56
Speaker 1: getting these opportunities to hone your skills and these little
5:00
Speaker 1: short bursts, you know, because I know that you talk
5:03
Speaker 1: and then you leave. How how you think I did?
5:05
Speaker 1: Do you think they reacted? They call you back and go, Okay,
5:08
Speaker 1: they're calling me back. That's a good thing. So when
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Speaker 1: did you feel that you have value on these in
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Speaker 1: the television games? Well, I knew it was important to
5:18
Speaker 1: add my perspective to the cases that we're being discussed
5:23
Speaker 1: as a black woman, as a former prosecutor, and I
5:27
Speaker 1: know a lot of times, you know, prosecutors get a
5:30
Speaker 1: bad rap and people talk about not wanting to be
5:33
Speaker 1: in their field because they could never put people in jail.
5:36
Speaker 1: I've heard all those things. But at the same time,
5:39
Speaker 1: you can't just want to be an activist. If you
5:42
Speaker 1: really want to see and change, you have to be
5:45
Speaker 1: a part of it, and you have to have a
5:46
Speaker 1: seat at the table. Prosecutor job is a very powerful job.
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Speaker 1: A lot of times what would happen with someone's case
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Speaker 1: would literally depend on who got their case. So if
5:56
Speaker 1: I got a case and I would look at that
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Speaker 1: case and it was a young, you know, person from Harlem,
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Speaker 1: which is where I was living at the time, I
6:04
Speaker 1: would have a different perspective than a lot of my
6:06
Speaker 1: colleagues across the hall from me, who would who would
6:09
Speaker 1: have handled that case differently. So it was very important
6:12
Speaker 1: for me to add my perspective and bring my experience
6:17
Speaker 1: and my background to that job. And I had one
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Speaker 1: job only and that was to do justice in my cases,
6:23
Speaker 1: to do but what I believe was right. So when
6:26
Speaker 1: it came time to calling on me for television, they
6:29
Speaker 1: were looking for people like me who could add a
6:32
Speaker 1: different perspective and opinion when giving analysis on these cases. Okay,
6:38
Speaker 1: all the world of the world of the media, we
6:42
Speaker 1: live in this social media okay, and social media tends
6:45
Speaker 1: to have an opinion and troll you good or bad.
6:49
Speaker 1: So when you're bouncing because you're starting to develop your career,
6:51
Speaker 1: you know, your social media is starting to grow and
6:54
Speaker 1: people start in that comments. Did you have any negative
6:57
Speaker 1: feedback on planing these different sides on your on your
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Speaker 1: social media feed and how did you handle that? Yes?
7:06
Speaker 1: And but I developed a thick skin pretty early on Rashana.
7:11
Speaker 1: I started doing pageants down in the South and years old,
7:16
Speaker 1: so I was used to a certain level of just
7:18
Speaker 1: criticism in general. And I think that any time you're
7:21
Speaker 1: in the public eye, no matter what you're doing, you
7:25
Speaker 1: are going to get some type of criticism. So when
7:29
Speaker 1: you have to learn really early on, and as you
7:32
Speaker 1: I'm sure you're aware as well being in front of
7:34
Speaker 1: the camera, you just have to develop thick skin. You
7:37
Speaker 1: believe in what you're doing and you believe in the message.
7:40
Speaker 1: You know, they say new levels, new devils, you hire
7:44
Speaker 1: your visibility. The more you're gonna have people who criticize you,
7:46
Speaker 1: the more you're gonna have people who like you. But
7:49
Speaker 1: you can never allow your self esteem and how you
7:52
Speaker 1: feel about yourself to be built up on people's compliments
7:56
Speaker 1: or being torn down by their criticism. You have to
7:58
Speaker 1: know who you are. It's actually when when you're in
8:01
Speaker 1: the business that we're in and be confident and that
8:04
Speaker 1: you're presenting your best self to the world no matter
8:07
Speaker 1: what people are saying. Absolutely, here's something interesting, you know,
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Speaker 1: and you know we're gonna go to the divorce court.
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Speaker 1: I want to slide over to the forensic world of
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Speaker 1: killer relationships and I'm gonna tell you something. I get
8:18
Speaker 1: up at four thirty, I go downstairs when I'm working
8:22
Speaker 1: out doing my stretches. You know Forensic File that I
8:24
Speaker 1: am a junkie for Forensic File type shows, and so
8:27
Speaker 1: it comes on a every half hour and I'm working
8:30
Speaker 1: out and last I know the last two minutes they're
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Speaker 1: gonna get a verdict and what happened to that person?
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Speaker 1: So what? Because I guess you you're talking to asking
8:39
Speaker 1: the question for a person like me. It's kind of
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Speaker 1: like addictive television. What attracted you to the project Killer Relationships?
8:47
Speaker 1: And what do they say the type of people who
8:50
Speaker 1: watch these type of shows true crime. For some reason,
8:54
Speaker 1: I too, am really fascinated by the genre, and I
8:59
Speaker 1: think there's something about the good versus evil, and there's
9:03
Speaker 1: also something about getting to the bottom of what happened
9:07
Speaker 1: in telling the story, and everyone wants to know the
9:09
Speaker 1: answer to one question and that is why. So we
9:13
Speaker 1: really get caught up in in those stories because they
9:16
Speaker 1: are real. I start, I branched out. I started my
9:20
Speaker 1: own production company, and this is the first show that
9:23
Speaker 1: I've created that I'm executive producing. I did it because
9:27
Speaker 1: I believe that there should be a diversity of voices
9:30
Speaker 1: in storytelling, and I wanted to add my name and
9:33
Speaker 1: my perspective to this genre. So this is the first
9:37
Speaker 1: show from my production company. I think that with these
9:41
Speaker 1: types of shows, not only is it fascinating to watch
9:45
Speaker 1: and learn, but it's also it could be a learning
9:48
Speaker 1: tool because you're looking at all kinds of red flags.
9:52
Speaker 1: For this show, in particular, I wanted to pull from
9:56
Speaker 1: two worlds that I was in. The word of relationships,
9:59
Speaker 1: which I started very early on in my career appearing
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Speaker 1: in family court in New York, and the world of
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Speaker 1: the criminal investigations. I'm a trained investigator, that's what I
10:08
Speaker 1: learned to do as a prosecutor, and have this show
10:12
Speaker 1: because relationships is something that we can all relate to.
10:15
Speaker 1: We all have them, whether it's a love relationship, of
10:18
Speaker 1: family relationship, or friendship. And so I wanted to dig
10:21
Speaker 1: into the world of relationships and how those relationships start out,
10:25
Speaker 1: how they turn, and what makes someone commit such an
10:28
Speaker 1: extreme act. In the end, we'll be right back with
10:31
Speaker 1: more Money Making Conversations Master Class with Rashan McDonald. Now,
10:37
Speaker 1: let's return to Money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rashan McDonald,
10:43
Speaker 1: right and now. Because when I was you're absolutely right.
10:46
Speaker 1: I always tell my my wife, I go, you know,
10:49
Speaker 1: if something was to happen to you, then they would
10:52
Speaker 1: just look at my records where he watches Forensic File.
10:54
Speaker 1: He this guy's a plotter. Yeah, I believe my DNA
10:58
Speaker 1: is set up that if something bad and I'm going
11:00
Speaker 1: to jail, I woan because my my track records so bad.
11:04
Speaker 1: I'm looking at these crazy cases all the time. So
11:06
Speaker 1: they would say he got the idea from watching First
11:09
Speaker 1: and Files and some type of like Killer Relationships with
11:11
Speaker 1: Faith Jenkins. Do you like these types of shows? So
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Speaker 1: you plot to her murder, you plotted under Eyes And
11:17
Speaker 1: I do like them in the sense of, first of all,
11:20
Speaker 1: they're startling to me, and it's like the word how
11:23
Speaker 1: could that happen? Why did they do that? And I
11:26
Speaker 1: always get I always this was the thing that always
11:28
Speaker 1: bothered me. You can get a divorce, you can you
11:32
Speaker 1: can get a point, you can actually just say hey,
11:36
Speaker 1: I'm out. It's it's that simple. But they go to
11:39
Speaker 1: the darkest side of it all. It's and that's where
11:41
Speaker 1: the greed part comes out of it. And that's what's
11:44
Speaker 1: the selling point of Killer Relationship is that they could
11:48
Speaker 1: have just walked away, they could have went through the
11:50
Speaker 1: proper channels and got a divorce, but they wanted it all.
11:54
Speaker 1: They didn't want Nanny seventy definitely didn't want They wanted
11:59
Speaker 1: all with that is that the single thing that you
12:02
Speaker 1: saw as well, and these stories you're telling, that is
12:06
Speaker 1: a big theme and the reason you'll find that most
12:10
Speaker 1: of the individuals in these cases go to the lens.
12:14
Speaker 1: They do. There's another theme throughout the season you'll see,
12:17
Speaker 1: and that is everybody has a secret, right the lins
12:22
Speaker 1: that these people are willing to go through to keep
12:25
Speaker 1: their secrets from being revealed and exposed. Wow wow, Well,
12:30
Speaker 1: let's let's slide over a little bit of relationships. Now,
12:32
Speaker 1: divorce cores okay, sitting on that, but the people coming
12:36
Speaker 1: in there with these with these emotional moments, and you
12:39
Speaker 1: what what now have you learn the most about that experience?
12:42
Speaker 1: And what what do you value it? It's two questions,
12:45
Speaker 1: what do you learned the most and what do you
12:46
Speaker 1: value the most about that experience? Because to me, it
12:49
Speaker 1: leads into your writing your book that we're about to
12:51
Speaker 1: talk in the next next subject matter here, Yes and
12:54
Speaker 1: Divorce Court has been an amazing experience. I hosted the
12:58
Speaker 1: show for two seasons and this is actually my last
13:01
Speaker 1: year hosting it because I am moving in a different
13:04
Speaker 1: direction with my production company. But I learned a lot
13:09
Speaker 1: from hearing all of the different issues and perspectives that
13:13
Speaker 1: people brought into the courtroom. Number One, I learned that
13:17
Speaker 1: people don't most people don't have relationship problems. They have
13:20
Speaker 1: problems they bring into their relationship. A lot of the
13:23
Speaker 1: issues I heard were issues that were unresolved in people's lives,
13:28
Speaker 1: and when you're bringing all of that into a relationship,
13:31
Speaker 1: a healthy relationship is not something you attracted, something you create,
13:35
Speaker 1: and you can't create a healthy relationship if you have
13:38
Speaker 1: two unhealthy people coming together. So that for me was
13:43
Speaker 1: just solidified what I knew about that and I did
13:47
Speaker 1: my absolute best to try to enlighten a lot of
13:51
Speaker 1: the couples that came into the courtroom so that when
13:53
Speaker 1: they left the courtroom, they feel like they're leaving with
13:56
Speaker 1: something greater than when they came, even when they're going
13:59
Speaker 1: their separate ways. And I also encouraged them to most
14:03
Speaker 1: of us have been through a breakup at some point
14:05
Speaker 1: in our lives at one point or another. I encourage
14:09
Speaker 1: them to move forward in that breakup with compassion and
14:15
Speaker 1: empathy and understanding. Of course, it's a difficult time in
14:18
Speaker 1: your life, but it doesn't mean you have to try
14:20
Speaker 1: to destroy the other person on your way out the door.
14:23
Speaker 1: So that was a really important principle for me to
14:26
Speaker 1: share as well. We'll be right back with more Money
14:28
Speaker 1: Making Conversations Masterclass with Rashan McDonald. Now let's return to
14:35
Speaker 1: Money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rashan McDonald. Now, sis don't sell.
14:42
Speaker 1: I have six sisters and you know married divorce of
14:49
Speaker 1: some relationships. I thought, why are you messing with this person?
14:53
Speaker 1: You as a as a female, And then then I'm
14:56
Speaker 1: also looking at divorce court. I'm putting that in my
14:58
Speaker 1: mind when I'm reading it, I'm saying you you can
15:00
Speaker 1: see this all the time with Steve Harvey is a
15:02
Speaker 1: Strawberry letter. I felt divorce Court was your Strawberry letter,
15:06
Speaker 1: you know, for for this book. You know, because you
15:08
Speaker 1: get to see it and you make these crafty, smart
15:11
Speaker 1: decisions with these people and you get to see how
15:13
Speaker 1: they interact. And when you did, Steve Harvey did Strawberry
15:16
Speaker 1: letter for five days a week. He was responding to
15:18
Speaker 1: emotional letters that allowed him to craft his mindset. How
15:23
Speaker 1: did you craft your mindset? Was it divorce court? Was
15:26
Speaker 1: it girlfriend's? It was just past relationship? What started this
15:30
Speaker 1: whole systems selling? Need to put it on paper? M hm.
15:35
Speaker 1: And this, the second part of that title, really says
15:37
Speaker 1: at all how to stay smart in matters of the heart.
15:41
Speaker 1: That's what I wanted to write about. It actually started
15:44
Speaker 1: prior to me doing television, when I started working in
15:46
Speaker 1: family court in New York. My first court appearances were
15:50
Speaker 1: in family court in New York handling divorces, child custody,
15:54
Speaker 1: UH child um, child support cases. And then from there
16:04
Speaker 1: I was also living my old life as a single
16:06
Speaker 1: woman in New York City, so I didn't get married
16:10
Speaker 1: until after I turned forty years old. And what happened
16:14
Speaker 1: is I had this career that everyone around me deemed
16:17
Speaker 1: was so successful, but people started asking me why I
16:21
Speaker 1: wasn't married, why I was still single when I was
16:24
Speaker 1: going to settle down all of these questions and I
16:28
Speaker 1: didn't think being single was something I needed to explain
16:31
Speaker 1: or defend. That was just my journey at the time.
16:34
Speaker 1: There are lessons that I needed to learn. I needed
16:36
Speaker 1: to learn a lot about relationships because I didn't have
16:40
Speaker 1: this huge standard of what loved looked like in my life.
16:43
Speaker 1: Growing up. People talk about relationships being a science and
16:46
Speaker 1: dating as an art. I knew none of it. And
16:49
Speaker 1: we prepare just like you prepare for your show. I
16:53
Speaker 1: prepare when I was in law school for exams. We
16:56
Speaker 1: prepare for everything in life that we want to be
16:58
Speaker 1: successful for, but a lot of us don't prepare for relationships.
17:02
Speaker 1: Why is that? So I started learning to prepare myself
17:06
Speaker 1: for the relationship that I wanted and what that looked
17:09
Speaker 1: like and what that meant for me. And I pulled
17:11
Speaker 1: from all of the experiences that I had with women
17:14
Speaker 1: in family court, with women in divorce court, my own
17:18
Speaker 1: personal life and dating experiences, and I combined those to
17:21
Speaker 1: put them in the book because I got married after
17:25
Speaker 1: our turn forty. I had a lot of a dating experiences.
17:28
Speaker 1: I had a lot of lessons that I learned the
17:30
Speaker 1: hard way. But the moral of the story is I
17:32
Speaker 1: met my husband. He's an amazing man. I'm happily married. Now.
17:37
Speaker 1: If I would have waited to live my best life
17:40
Speaker 1: after because I was waiting on a partner, I would
17:43
Speaker 1: have spent half of my adult life just existing and
17:46
Speaker 1: not really living. Right. Well, you know, it's interesting because
17:49
Speaker 1: you got own production company. I see a TV show
17:51
Speaker 1: at this book now, you know, especially a postpartia because
17:55
Speaker 1: see you talk about Ali mcbell. You know, like they
17:58
Speaker 1: made a big deal when she turns thirty. You know,
18:00
Speaker 1: like what are you doing? And so so as soon
18:02
Speaker 1: as you start talking about that, I went to that
18:03
Speaker 1: section of the book, you know. And then because we
18:07
Speaker 1: we are hit with deadlines. You know, he supposed graduating
18:09
Speaker 1: high school eight team a twenty two year, supposed to
18:11
Speaker 1: be out of college, you know, thirty, twenty nine, thirty,
18:14
Speaker 1: where's your man, where's your child? Where's your career? So
18:18
Speaker 1: you hear with all these markers in life, and basically
18:21
Speaker 1: that's what you you're just taking those same markers and
18:23
Speaker 1: applying it to emotion and not being swayed by what
18:27
Speaker 1: other people say you should be doing I think you
18:30
Speaker 1: should be doing. Is that correct? That is correct? These
18:33
Speaker 1: are arbitrary timelines. Who decides we're not running a race
18:38
Speaker 1: in life because we're not all running in the same direction,
18:40
Speaker 1: so it can't be a race. There are almost eight
18:44
Speaker 1: billion people on this planet. We can't all be doing
18:47
Speaker 1: the same things at the same time. And so a
18:50
Speaker 1: part of this book is encouraging people to embrace their
18:54
Speaker 1: own personal journey and ignore the noise because guess what,
18:59
Speaker 1: the question don't stop. As soon as you get married,
19:01
Speaker 1: they started asking you when you're gonna have kids. You
19:04
Speaker 1: have one child, they started asking when you're gonna have
19:06
Speaker 1: another one. So that's why you have to decide early
19:09
Speaker 1: on that you're gonna live your best life right where
19:12
Speaker 1: you are and embrace your journey. And it is okay
19:15
Speaker 1: if your journey includes your personal choice not to marry,
19:20
Speaker 1: not to have children, and no one else. You can't
19:23
Speaker 1: let anybody else put that kind of pressure on you
19:26
Speaker 1: to make a decision because they believe in then arbitrary
19:29
Speaker 1: timeline that you don't right. It was, it was it was,
19:32
Speaker 1: you know, always such chapters stick out for me, you know,
19:34
Speaker 1: and I had to go to wait for Sex. But
19:36
Speaker 1: let me explain that chapter right there, because everybody feels
19:40
Speaker 1: a pressure to two Uh, that's part of the relationship.
19:45
Speaker 1: Why was that an important part? You know, I know why,
19:49
Speaker 1: But I would like for you to tell my listeners
19:51
Speaker 1: and my viewers when you said wait for sex. I
19:55
Speaker 1: know it's referencing a woman, but also shouldn't that be
19:57
Speaker 1: said to a guy to the stop putting an unnecessary
20:00
Speaker 1: pressure on a woman that's part of her role in
20:03
Speaker 1: the racial relationship that she has to have sex with him. Well,
20:08
Speaker 1: one thing about the book is, although it's called Systems Settled,
20:10
Speaker 1: I really wrote it and talked about universal SYS standards
20:14
Speaker 1: for love for anyone to read. And I've had several
20:17
Speaker 1: guys come to me and say they they've enjoyed many
20:20
Speaker 1: aspects of the book. That was an important chapter because
20:24
Speaker 1: it really is about what are your goals for love
20:27
Speaker 1: in your life? What is it that you really want
20:29
Speaker 1: to accomplish? I say the very beginning of my book,
20:32
Speaker 1: this book is not for everyone. If you're looking to
20:36
Speaker 1: just have a sex buddy that you can hook up with,
20:39
Speaker 1: from time to time, and that's your goal. This is
20:41
Speaker 1: this is really probably not the book for you. If
20:44
Speaker 1: you're trying to lock down your booker from the barbershop
20:46
Speaker 1: who you see once a month, this is probably not
20:50
Speaker 1: the read for you. This book is really about people
20:53
Speaker 1: who are on this journey to attract that authentic long
20:58
Speaker 1: term love and partnership in marriage if that's what they want.
21:02
Speaker 1: So that part, when I got to that part about
21:04
Speaker 1: waiting for intimacy in a relationship, it really is about
21:09
Speaker 1: establishing a foundation with someone and establishing boundaries in your
21:14
Speaker 1: relationship and getting to know a person and what they're
21:17
Speaker 1: really looking for, and establishing boundaries should not scare off
21:23
Speaker 1: a person who is ready, willing and able for authentic love,
21:29
Speaker 1: you know, the the you know. I want to tell you,
21:31
Speaker 1: first of all, enjoyed the book. I enjoyed the book
21:34
Speaker 1: because of the fact that that's why I brought the
21:37
Speaker 1: thing about the guy you know, Like I said, because
21:40
Speaker 1: a lot of people read a book and they see
21:41
Speaker 1: you on it, Oh Jesus men, bashing you know, you know,
21:45
Speaker 1: And that's not at all. I want to make sure
21:47
Speaker 1: I said that. That's what I'm just saying is that
21:49
Speaker 1: when you said wait for sex, and that should be
21:51
Speaker 1: both ways. Because men, I'm a man, we feel can
21:55
Speaker 1: put that undue pressure that Okay, this is part of
21:57
Speaker 1: the you know, this part of the dinner, this part
21:59
Speaker 1: of the day, that's part of the week. You now,
22:01
Speaker 1: we're supposed to be doing some other than just talking,
22:04
Speaker 1: and that's the pressure instead of getting to know the person.
22:07
Speaker 1: So it's also in your book you kind of like
22:09
Speaker 1: set aside defining what their relationsip ship is so they
22:12
Speaker 1: can understand what you want out of it, because a
22:15
Speaker 1: lot of women don't set those I guess I want
22:18
Speaker 1: to say rules, but this is how what I want.
22:21
Speaker 1: Are you willing to be? Is am I correcting? Assuming
22:24
Speaker 1: that's that's there is the correct approach correct A big
22:28
Speaker 1: part of it is communicating and knowing who you are
22:32
Speaker 1: and knowing where you are at this point in your
22:35
Speaker 1: life and being honest about that. If you're not looking,
22:39
Speaker 1: if someone tells you that they're just looking for a
22:42
Speaker 1: casual relationship, they're not looking for marriage, then we got
22:46
Speaker 1: to stop trying to convince people to change their mind.
22:49
Speaker 1: That that's not our job. Accept people when they tell
22:51
Speaker 1: you what their goals are, when they tell you where
22:54
Speaker 1: they are right now in their life path accepted. So
22:57
Speaker 1: if that's not where you are, then it's out for
23:00
Speaker 1: you to pivot and go in another direction. So that's
23:03
Speaker 1: what I talked about in the book. When you talk
23:04
Speaker 1: about opening honest communication, when someone tells you believe them
23:09
Speaker 1: and and then decide you can go in a different
23:12
Speaker 1: direction if you're not on the same life path at
23:15
Speaker 1: that point, well, you know, I talked about it in
23:17
Speaker 1: my opening. I always talk about don't let you from
23:19
Speaker 1: his family, the coworkers, stop you from playing a living
23:22
Speaker 1: in your dreams. That's what your book is about, you know,
23:24
Speaker 1: don't let people tell you that you're thirty, you you're
23:28
Speaker 1: out of the game, you farty, you out of the game,
23:30
Speaker 1: or that you know that you can't get claim. But
23:33
Speaker 1: I think the book that I got the most out
23:35
Speaker 1: of your book, you know, syst don't sell how to
23:38
Speaker 1: state how to stay smart than the matters of the heart,
23:40
Speaker 1: was that the decisions you make should be the decisions
23:44
Speaker 1: that justify your path. Like you said, you got married
23:47
Speaker 1: in forty and the age and people will people in
23:50
Speaker 1: that you're attractive, you're successful. Then they put that old thing,
23:53
Speaker 1: what's the problem, and then they start making like you're
23:57
Speaker 1: the problem, and so so this book tells you stop
24:00
Speaker 1: all that madness. I am not the problem. I have
24:03
Speaker 1: control of my life and I will meet the right
24:05
Speaker 1: person that understands who I am as a person that
24:09
Speaker 1: really was was singing out and really was the champion.
24:13
Speaker 1: Message that I took away from chapter after chapter that
24:17
Speaker 1: you know, women, especially this day and age with social media,
24:20
Speaker 1: with you being able to practic glass ceiling, being able
24:23
Speaker 1: to women are the fastest, especially Black women, the fastest growing.
24:27
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you, by the way, this book
24:29
Speaker 1: is not women written for Black women white women. Is
24:31
Speaker 1: women for women. So this is not a racial book.
24:34
Speaker 1: This is a book that allows you to see that
24:36
Speaker 1: we all women have to deal with the same issues.
24:39
Speaker 1: We all need to be able to cultivate the same
24:41
Speaker 1: understanding that we can be successful. And reading this book,
24:44
Speaker 1: since don't settle how to stay smart in the matters
24:46
Speaker 1: of the heart, allows you that journey. That is what
24:49
Speaker 1: my takeaway was. And and I wanted to bring you
24:51
Speaker 1: on the show. I know we're gon. We talked about
24:53
Speaker 1: the divorce cord and you know, kill a relationship, but
24:55
Speaker 1: I just had that and I want to support this book.
24:57
Speaker 1: I want to put put the you know, the part
25:00
Speaker 1: of the the snippets of this interview on my social media
25:02
Speaker 1: just to drive traffic and let people know this is
25:04
Speaker 1: a book that that's a must read. Uh is a
25:08
Speaker 1: It's a quality read, and and you will take away
25:10
Speaker 1: nuggets that I think that would make you honestly feel
25:14
Speaker 1: not so disappointed in your life or alone in your experiences,
25:19
Speaker 1: right right, And and that's why I wrote it. Everything
25:22
Speaker 1: you said is why I wrote it, because this is
25:25
Speaker 1: something that I would have wanted to read as a
25:28
Speaker 1: single person, as a person who wanted to learn more
25:31
Speaker 1: about relationships. Because we're always trying to educate ourselves. That's
25:35
Speaker 1: why we read, that's why we listen to the podcast,
25:37
Speaker 1: that's why we watch shows like yours, because we are
25:39
Speaker 1: trying to educate ourselves so that when we move forward,
25:43
Speaker 1: we can make better decisions. When you know better, you
25:46
Speaker 1: do better. So that's why I wrote about this book.
25:50
Speaker 1: I want people to use it as a practical guide
25:52
Speaker 1: to attract the kind of relationship they really want and
25:55
Speaker 1: deserve in their life. She's an incredible legal mind, you
25:58
Speaker 1: know as the host of the wars Cord. She's a
26:01
Speaker 1: she has her own production company Show Now she's producing
26:03
Speaker 1: television shows. Kill a relationship with Facijenkins Now. She's an
26:07
Speaker 1: incredible author. Her book, Relationship Book says, don't settle, how
26:11
Speaker 1: to stay smart in the matters of the heart. Guys,
26:13
Speaker 1: pick it up. It's a much read for YouTube because
26:15
Speaker 1: we all need to know how they're thinking. They're thinking too, okay,
26:19
Speaker 1: and if you understand how they think, you could probably
26:21
Speaker 1: get the right mate in your life. Faith Jenkins, thank
26:23
Speaker 1: you for coming. Excuse me, judge, Faith Jenkins, thanks for
26:25
Speaker 1: coming on my show. Okay, thank you. It's great to
26:28
Speaker 1: see you again. And I will support this. I'm telling
26:30
Speaker 1: you I will, all right, Thank you, Thank you so much.
26:34
Speaker 1: You wanted to hear thee any interviews of money on
26:37
Speaker 1: any of my interviews on Money Making Conversation master Class,
26:39
Speaker 1: please go to Money Making Conversation dot com. I'm with
26:41
Speaker 1: Sean McDonald. I am your host. You've been listening to
26:45
Speaker 1: Money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rushan McDonald. Always remember to
26:50
Speaker 1: lead with your gifts. Money Making Conversations Masterclass is a
26:54
Speaker 1: presentation of thirty fifteen Media Incorporated