Latest / The Lila Rose Show / E6: The 2020 Election, More Sex Myths, and Your Questions.

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E6: The 2020 Election, More Sex Myths, and Your Questions. · The Lila Rose Show

0:00
Hey everybody, welcome to the Lila Rose Show.
0:02
This is Lila Rose and I am looking forward to today because
0:06
we're going to be diving into the mailbox a lot of the
0:10
questions and comments I've gotten from some of you that I
0:13
really am looking forward to talking about.
0:15
And I also want to follow up on last week's episode, which was 5
0:20
Myths about Sex. I got some interesting feedback
0:23
from some of you or questions. And I also wanted to say a
0:27
couple other things that I felt that I could have included in
0:31
this review of what I think are our culture's biggest or some of
0:36
our culture's biggest misconceptions around sex.
0:39
I also wanted to let you all know the next episode, so the
0:42
one after this one, I will be doing a little bit of a deep
0:46
dive into the border situation. This I think does affect us
0:52
personally because it has to do with really how we are to treat
0:57
immigrants and also it has to do with some of the political, I
1:01
think lies and the confusion that is really reached a fever
1:08
pitch in media. So I'm looking forward to doing
1:10
that. I will be sharing more when we
1:12
get there, but look forward to that.
1:14
That's going to be on the border situation and really what our
1:18
perspective is. Food for thought for our
1:20
perspective and what our perspective can be, as well as
1:23
how we should look at immigration in general and what
1:26
what is the, whether you're a Christian, as a Christian, what
1:29
that means, and then also from a perspective of human rights.
1:32
So I look forward to that, looking forward to doing that
1:34
next week. But for today, I want to talk a
1:37
little bit more about sex myths, the five sex myths that I
1:40
brought up on last episode, but talking really more positively
1:44
about what is sex supposed to be about.
1:47
Share some thoughts there and also some of the comments I got
1:50
from you guys or questions about other myths that you see as
1:54
problematic in our culture and then I'm going to hit the
1:56
mailbox and go through a bunch of really interesting comments
2:00
and questions I've gotten from some of you Thank you by the
2:02
way, I love getting emails and direct messages on Instagram and
2:07
comments from all of you you. I have a lot of very thoughtful
2:11
people who listen to this podcast to really take time to
2:13
think about not just to cultural and political issues, but about
2:17
how we should live our lives, what the best way to live a life
2:21
of purpose and meaning. And for many of you, your
2:23
Christians, your Catholics, how to live out your faith strongly.
2:26
So I love getting your thoughts. Keep them coming.
2:30
You can always e-mail me at thoughts@lilaroseshow.com.
2:33
Or of course, you can message me on Instagram.
2:35
Again, I try to get back to everyone at least most of the
2:38
time I do my best, but I absolutely love getting
2:41
comments. So to the five sex myths I
2:44
talked about this last week, I went through what I see are a
2:48
lot of misconceptions around sex in our culture.
2:52
This idea that sex has nothing to do with children or shouldn't
2:55
have anything to do with kids, that sex is just about consent.
2:59
As long as there's that bright line of saying yes to sex, then
3:01
you should be fine. Or about how sex is safe if we
3:06
just use contraception. And I walked through how
3:08
actually many of these things are misunderstood, that there's
3:12
no such thing as completely safe, quote UN quote sex, that
3:16
any time you have sex and you're not prepared for pregnancy, then
3:21
despite the methods you use there, you can still get
3:24
pregnant. And also this idea that sex
3:27
should, why is sex need to be safe in this way?
3:29
Isn't it natural to be able to conceive children and sex?
3:31
And shouldn't you be able to trust your quote UN quote
3:34
partner, the person you're having sex with?
3:36
So you're not worried that they're going to give you a
3:37
disease or you're not worried that they're going to leave you
3:40
the next day. That would probably to be ideal.
3:43
And that brings me to what I wanted to say, which is what is
3:47
sex supposed to be? What it how is sex designed?
3:50
And what I'm about to share is what I think the science reveals
3:54
about sex. It's also, Full disclosure, what
3:57
my faith teaches, what the Catholic Church teaches, and
4:01
it's also what most of Christian or Protestant denominations
4:04
teach. But I think that it's very much
4:06
written into the design of what sex is biologically as well as
4:10
physiologically. And I think it makes for, when
4:13
you look at the research, much happier, more successful
4:17
relationships. And what it comes down to is sex
4:20
can do two things. Sex can bond two people
4:23
together, and it does do this. It can bond them together
4:25
through the pleasure that's experienced, through the
4:27
intimacy that is, that is experienced literally through
4:30
the hormones that are exchanged, through oxytocin that literally
4:33
bonds you to that person. That's why it has such an
4:36
incredibly intimate and personal effect on people who have sex,
4:41
because you really feel bonded to that person.
4:43
You really feel connected to them.
4:45
And sex is designed biologically to do that.
4:49
And then the second part of sex, so that's the unity.
4:51
Sex is designed to bring two people into unity with each
4:54
other physically. And then I also think
4:56
spiritually, and the emotional component of that is connected
4:58
to the spiritual, but it's also sex is also designed to bring
5:03
human life into the world. That's how new souls enter the
5:05
world. It's pretty phenomenal and
5:07
amazing when you think about it, that 2 human beings have the
5:10
potential to create a new human life, to procreate, to bigot a
5:15
new human life. It's really amazing.
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And I think God is involved in every single creation of a new
5:20
life too, because there's a soul that's present, but that's
5:23
really incredible. So if sex can do these two
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things, it can. It's this thing.
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It's the most powerful physical force that can bind two people
5:31
together and just a sheer intimacy and pleasure that's
5:34
being shared. And it's also has the potential
5:37
to bring life into the world. So from those two perspectives
5:41
of its intimacy, the its binding power to really bring you into
5:45
union with another person physically, and it can do so
5:48
spiritually as well as its ability to bring life into the
5:52
world. That's why I think it makes so
5:54
much sense that sex is designed for someone that you have
5:58
pledged your life to and you've done that not just in an
6:01
emotional way, like oh, I love you forever, but you've actually
6:04
pledged your life to in a sacrament way, meaning you have
6:08
done it before God and your community and said, this is my
6:11
spouse, this is my husband or this is my wife.
6:14
And I think that's why, you know, you hear, oh, sex is for
6:16
marriage. Well, it's sex is for marriage,
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not because of some arbitrary rule.
6:20
It's because sex is actually designed that way to bond you
6:23
with somebody in such an incredibly powerful way and to
6:27
be able to bring life into the world.
6:28
So you want to have that intimate relationship with
6:31
someone that you would want to be the potential mother or
6:34
father of your children. And you want to be in a
6:37
relation. You want to be able to do that
6:39
with someone who you know, you trust and you know and you're
6:42
committed to knowing and getting to know better and to sacrifice
6:46
for the rest of your life. And sex is a part sort of
6:48
deepening that relationship. So that's the positive.
6:51
I think that's beautiful. I, you know, when I first
6:54
started learning about really the spiritual perspective on sex
6:58
and how it is a, the marriage. So it's not sex, but marriage is
7:03
a sacrament. It's this, it's this
7:05
manifestation of, of God in the world and God's love for all of
7:09
humanity and Christ's love for the church.
7:11
And there's so much depth there. And I will do an episode in the
7:13
future on marriage specifically, but that marriage is included
7:17
includes this sexual component, which is really the act of
7:21
unity, not just physically, but you can live that out
7:24
emotionally and spiritually. That just blew my mind.
7:27
I thought what a beautiful thing that this is designed that way
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and it's a good thing. So it does make me really sad
7:34
when I think our culture or media or whoever it is cheapens
7:38
it and makes it less than it is because it is so incredible and
7:43
so beautiful. So that being said, two other
7:46
sex myths that were sent my way by some of you, which I thought
7:49
were really, you know, really true meaning they are myths that
7:55
are out there and people have been told them for a long time.
7:59
One of them is that women are happier if they actually don't
8:02
get married. I don't know if you guys have
8:04
seen this, but I there were a ton of news articles, especially
8:08
in the month of May. So this was the last month a lot
8:11
of news articles out there saying that we for women.
8:15
So for the ladies listening, women are actually happier when
8:18
they're single and when they don't have children.
8:20
And it actually makes them head like the happiest ladies are the
8:23
ones the brunch women, right? The women in her 30s and 40s and
8:26
50s even who never married, never had to have, you know,
8:30
marriage and children and all of that.
8:32
And instead they are happily single the rest of their lives.
8:36
So first of all, from personal experience, I want to say not
8:39
true. I have a lot of single friends
8:41
still. I have a lot of married friends.
8:42
So I have a lot of single friends and they are not happy
8:46
being single. I mean, they're happy in the
8:48
sense that they're, you know, many of them are confident
8:50
people and they're very loving people and they have good
8:53
friendships and good families, but they're all looking for
8:55
family. And you know, and, and, and
8:58
caveat here, I'm talking about people who feel called to
9:00
marriage because I think we're all called to some sort of
9:03
commitment or community. And spiritually speaking, I, in
9:07
the Catholic Church, there are nuns, there are religious,
9:09
there's brothers, there's sisters, there are, of course,
9:12
the priesthood. There is a priesthood.
9:14
So there are other ways to live out or there's even consecrated
9:18
virgins who are people that choose to be consecrated.
9:22
You have to get permission from your Bishop.
9:23
So it's this whole process. But the point is you still live
9:26
in community and you still live in a, in a, in a, in a lifestyle
9:30
of sacrifice or self giving. And people that have not yet
9:35
found the vocation specifically of marriage or of the religious
9:39
life or another vocation, it can be very hard for them.
9:42
I'm not saying that God doesn't bless them.
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And I absolutely think that some people are allowed to live in a
9:48
way without a vocation. They might die even before they
9:50
find the vocation to marriage or the vocation to a religious life
9:54
or some other specific particular vocation.
9:56
And they might live, They still live a vocation to love and they
9:59
still live a vocation to serve into communion.
10:02
So there's absolutely a lot of people out there.
10:04
Before I got married, that was my vocation.
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I was living a vocation to love, to serve, and to grow in
10:09
holiness. So I say all this to say the
10:11
caveat is important because if you're one of those people and
10:14
you're not even sure if you just to get married yet, you're not
10:16
sure what your quote UN quote vocation is.
10:18
Your vocation today is to love, to love God, to serve others, to
10:22
grow in love of God. So that's always our universal
10:25
vocation. That being said, I know from
10:28
personal experience that it is, it can be a cross.
10:31
It can be a cross to it can be really difficult to be in that
10:34
kind of, it can feel like a suspension of your life.
10:39
Like where is, where is the family I'm supposed to create or
10:42
the community I'm supposed to be really melded to.
10:45
And you know, the, some of the friends that I have who aren't
10:48
married yet, that can be a really big cross for them
10:50
because they feel that they're supposed to get married or
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they're looking for that, that community that, that that spouse
10:57
ultimately. So again, only Jesus can satisfy
11:00
for for you listening who are Christians, And I believe this
11:04
for all people, it is Christ alone that satisfies us.
11:06
So no human being can ultimately fill the God shaped hole in our
11:10
heart. That being said, we're made for
11:11
communion. And I think we're all longing
11:13
for living out that community on earth.
11:15
And many, for many of us, it's through marriage.
11:18
So when these articles came out saying women are actually
11:21
happier when they're not married.
11:22
Well, interestingly enough, though, those articles came out
11:26
last month because this guy wrote a book that came out
11:29
recently called Happy Ever After.
11:32
His name is Paul Dolan. So all these articles are
11:34
actually reporting his research. And Paul Dolan said that married
11:39
people are happier than most other population subgroups.
11:42
But then he said that actually when that's only when the spouse
11:47
is in the room and when the spouse is not in the room, then
11:50
they're quote, UN quote, effing miserable.
11:52
So he, you know, uses the effort.
11:53
He says they're really miserable.
11:55
So this is actually a direct quote from this guy Paul Dolan,
11:58
who is the reason all these articles came out last month
12:01
because of his book called Happy Ever After.
12:03
Well, I'm reading right now from a Vox article and Vox is not the
12:06
most pro marriage, pro-life, whatever publication out there.
12:09
It actually can be very hostile. But they are actually critiquing
12:13
Paul Dolan because they said Paul Dolan got his research
12:15
totally wrong. So this quote UN quote study,
12:18
these quote UN quote studies that Paul Dolan was referencing
12:21
that claimed that women who are not married are happier than
12:25
women who are or other people who are, is actually based on
12:29
very faulty studies. And not not that the studies are
12:32
faulty, but Paul Dolan misunderstood and misread the
12:36
the studies that he thought said something else.
12:39
And the core misunderstanding was in this study, and it's
12:43
called the American Time Use Survey, that Dolan was using the
12:46
survey to understand people's happiness levels.
12:49
He thought that when it said spouse not present, that meant
12:53
the the spouse was actually physically not in the room.
12:56
And so that people would basically lie and say they were
12:59
happy when they were married when they aren't.
13:00
It's a little complicated, but he basically thought people
13:03
would say that they are happy when the spouse was in the room,
13:07
but when their husband or wife left the room or primarily their
13:09
husband, they would actually say, actually, I'm miserable.
13:11
So they would be lying. Basically, in the time you
13:13
survey, the American time you survey supposedly proved this.
13:17
Well, actually he totally misunderstood how the survey
13:20
works. When they were said spouse not
13:21
present, it didn't mean that they were married and their
13:23
spouse wasn't in the room. It means that their spouse had,
13:26
I think died, they were divorced, or they didn't even
13:28
have a spouse to begin with. So this actually doesn't have to
13:32
do with married people. This has to do with people that
13:35
don't have a spouse anymore or never did, which actually adds
13:39
more proof to the fact that people are not happy when they
13:41
are alone. They're less likely to be happy
13:44
when they are alone. So this whole article, I
13:47
recommend it, it just goes. You can type in Paul Dolan, Vox,
13:50
Married women are miserable. If you want, you can read the
13:53
article, but he actually directly tackles the author of
13:57
this article. This woman, Kelsey Piper
13:59
directly tackles the idea that married women are less happy
14:03
than unmarried women. And she says that too was based
14:06
on faulty understanding of the survey.
14:08
And basically, Paul Dolan made huge errors in his book and his
14:11
entire thesis was incorrect. So anyways, always double,
14:16
triple check what you read. It just goes to show the lack of
14:20
sometimes good reporting. And just even this was like an
14:23
investigative report book about happiness in America.
14:25
And he totally misunderstood how to read surveys.
14:28
And he mistakenly thought that the survey said people who are
14:32
unmarried are happier than people who are married.
14:34
And it's not true. All right, That is to to bust
14:37
that myth, this idea that women are happier when they aren't
14:40
married. It's actually not true.
14:41
And according to the research, women who are married are
14:44
happiest and actually women who are married and who also attend
14:48
a church service at least once a month are amongst the happiest
14:52
of women. And I think I just quick comment
14:55
on that. I think that the reason for that
14:57
is because we are happiest when we're connected to the truth of
15:04
and, and the, and the love of the universe, which is God, when
15:07
we are in union with what we were made for and when we are
15:12
not, when we're living separate, separate when we're living in a
15:15
divided way. So we're kind of living
15:17
emotionally and intellectually happily along, but we're not
15:20
connected to the spiritual, which is the deepest reality I
15:24
think of life. Then there's a deep part of us
15:26
deep down that's not at peace. That's, that's restless.
15:30
And it's like Saint Augustine says, our hearts are restless
15:34
until they find their rest in you.
15:36
Saint Augustine wrote his The Confessions, which is a really
15:39
beautiful, powerful book. He's this 4th century Bishop
15:43
that was just incredible in the early church.
15:46
But he says our hearts are restless until they find their
15:49
rest in you. Deep down, yes, we can have the
15:52
best marriage we can have, or we can have a great relationship.
15:55
We can have a great job, great kids, great, you know,
15:59
meaningful work, all these things and we can have an
16:01
experience of happiness for sure, and joy.
16:04
But deep, deep down, we're made for something even more.
16:06
And that's God himself and only connecting to God.
16:10
And I think, you know, for me, it's going to Mass, it's
16:12
receiving the Eucharist, it's delving deeper into my
16:14
relationship with God. That is really the source of the
16:18
deepest peace of joy. And that's the source of eternal
16:20
joy. I mean, that's what happens
16:21
after death. No matter how great your life is
16:23
before death, no matter how great your marriage is, no
16:25
matter how great your kids are, no matter how great your job is,
16:28
no matter how great your humanitarian work is, whatever
16:30
it is you're doing with your life, no matter how good a
16:32
person you are after death, then what?
16:35
What happens when you die? What happens when your loved
16:37
ones die? And I think the importance of
16:40
death in our life is it reminds us that we are not in control.
16:43
There's something much bigger than us.
16:45
And are we going to find out what that is?
16:47
Are we going to take the time to discover who God is and to
16:51
follow Him, to obey Him and to want to be part of His, not just
16:56
plan here on earth, but His eternal Kingdom?
16:58
And I think we're all created for that, to be part of His
17:01
eternal Kingdom. So anyways, I digress, but I
17:05
really loved getting that myth from someone because I liked to
17:09
talk about how it's not true that women actually are happier
17:12
when they are married if it's not to say you can't be happy
17:14
when you aren't married. I was happy before I got
17:17
married. It was hard though.
17:18
There were hard things about it and I'm not going to pretend
17:21
it's easy. Marriage isn't easy though.
17:23
Nothing in life is easy. But I think it all comes back to
17:25
what are you called, to what are you?
17:27
What are you, what are you striving towards?
17:30
Are you trying to live each day for God, for love for others?
17:34
And then just a matter of trust. I mean, look, I don't even know
17:36
if I'm going to live till tomorrow.
17:37
We don't know what tomorrow will bring.
17:39
But do we trust today to do what we can with what we've been
17:42
given and to try to learn, learn and get deeper in our
17:47
understanding and love of God as well as to serve others?
17:50
I mean, that's really all we can do one day at a time.
17:52
So we don't know what the future will bring.
17:54
We don't know all of that. But what we can say is that when
17:58
it comes to to society and what we encourage other people to
18:02
value, I think we can very much say marriage is beautiful and to
18:05
be highly valued. All right #2 The second other
18:10
myths that I received that I wanted to quickly comment on,
18:13
which I actually heard, it's related to one of the mailbox
18:16
questions I'm going to be responding to.
18:18
But it was, you know, it's not possible for teens to save sex
18:22
for marriage. So you've probably heard this.
18:25
And actually there's a bunch of teens that listen.
18:27
So we have all different ages. I think listening to the
18:30
podcast, which I love people in their 20s and 30s, adults.
18:35
We even have a couple older, you know, elders.
18:38
And then we have some teens. And so this I think, is most
18:43
relevant to teens or if you have a teen in your life.
18:45
But this idea that it's not possible for teens to save sex
18:48
for marriage, I think it's really insulting to teenagers.
18:51
Teenagers are humans too, and they have the ability to be
18:55
virtuous and to make good decisions.
18:57
I think sometimes we downplay the potential for teenagers to
19:02
to make good decisions and to be virtuous.
19:04
That doesn't mean teens don't make mistakes.
19:06
We all make mistakes. We're humans.
19:08
But I saved sex for marriage as a teen and it in part it was
19:11
because of my parents. It was because of those I was
19:13
brought up, it was because of the friends I had.
19:14
So I understand those factors can really influence the way you
19:18
behave when you are a teenager. And this is not judgment or
19:22
condemnation for anyone 'cause no matter what you did in your
19:24
past, again, I've said this before, it doesn't need to be
19:26
your present or your future. We can all change.
19:29
We all have that power every day to make, make a change.
19:31
But but look, I think that teens, if they're given the
19:34
right education and they're given the right encouragement
19:37
and, you know, the right influences, absolutely, they can
19:40
save sex for marriage. And nobody's dooming teens to
19:43
sexual experimentation when they're young.
19:45
I don't think that, that, you know, I know tons of teens who
19:48
are not sexually experimenting as when they're young.
19:51
And, and, and to clarify that, you know, I think teens are
19:54
curious. I think humanity is curious.
19:57
I think there's a desire to learn and certainly to get
20:00
romantically involved. Them, you know, want to date or
20:02
that have crushes and all of that.
20:04
But I don't think it needs to lead to sex.
20:06
I don't think it needs to lead to sexual activity.
20:09
And I'm really upset at the organizations out there, the
20:13
corporations out there, quite frankly, like Planned
20:15
Parenthood, which is telling little teens, not just teens,
20:18
but like 10 year olds to experiment sexually and saying
20:22
it's OK and it's good for you. No, it's not healthy for you.
20:25
It's not good for you. That sex is very powerful and
20:28
has a huge moral value to it and spiritual value.
20:31
It's not just some biological thing you do.
20:34
That's another sex myth. And I think teens, when they're
20:37
given the right encouragement and education, they can make
20:40
decisions to say, look, I want to save sex for marriage.
20:42
That's what I think it's made for.
20:44
That's what will make me happiest.
20:46
That's what will protect me the most from the, the, the, you
20:50
know, sexual bonding that I'm not ready for children,
20:53
obviously the disease that's rampant and infection that's
20:56
rampant in our country and say, look, I want better for myself
20:58
and for my future spouse. And I know a lot of teens that
21:01
can do that. So I think we just need to
21:04
ultimately up the standard here and say, look, we can do better.
21:07
And teenagers deserve better than to be told they're kind of
21:11
like animals that have to go off of their impulses and their
21:14
instincts because they're not, they're human beings.
21:16
And yes, there's a lot of hormone changes and, you know,
21:19
more risky behavior that teenagers can tend to, but that
21:21
doesn't need to translate into going and just having sex.
21:25
And I think that actually it goes against really an innate
21:28
sense of modesty that a lot of teenagers have to just go out
21:30
there and have sex. I think especially a lot of
21:32
girls, teen girls who have sex, they're not having sex because
21:35
they're like, woo Hoo, we're going to have fun and have sex.
21:37
I think for a lot of teen girls, it's peer pressure.
21:39
And for boys it's peer pressure. It's feeling like they're weird
21:44
if they don't. And it's also desire for love
21:47
and intimacy and acceptance. I mean, some of these teens, I
21:50
think sometimes they're not feeling loved at home.
21:52
They're not feeling, you know, engaged parents sometimes.
21:55
And so it's so it can it can lead to it can lead to more
21:59
promiscuous activity outside the home.
22:01
So these are all factors to consider.
22:02
But bottom line is I think it's absolutely possible for teens to
22:05
save sex for marriage. And I think that if you're a
22:07
teenager listening, good for you, you can do anything you set
22:12
your mind to. And don't, don't let the adults
22:15
in the room talk down to you if that's the messages you're
22:17
getting, whether it's from the culture or from school teachers
22:21
or whoever. And, and your peers, you know,
22:23
you be the leader among your peers.
22:24
You know, you be the one that shows your peers that actually
22:27
you're serious about your life and you're going to have a lot
22:29
of fun and have a lot of great friendships.
22:31
But this is not the time for you to be having sex because that's
22:34
something you really see as precious and valuable.
22:36
And you're going to say that for your future wife, wife or
22:39
husband, I think there's, you know, a lot of people, maybe
22:42
they'll make fun of you in a moment, but there's deep respect
22:44
I think a lot of people will have for you.
22:46
All right, now to the mailbox. I'm really excited about the
22:50
mailbox because there's some really great questions or just
22:54
comments in it. So first of all, I got a
22:57
question. I got a few of these questions.
22:59
I've gotten a lot of feedback and notes from you guys, so
23:01
thank you. And this was both through direct
23:03
messages on Instagram and through the e-mail account
23:06
thoughts at lilarochow.com. But anyways, a few of you asked
23:09
how young is too young to date. So this was my first episode on
23:12
dating. I shared 6 principles for
23:14
dating. I was really pleased to hear
23:16
that it was helpful for a lot of you.
23:18
So how young is too young to date?
23:20
And a few of you asked this and you are teenagers asking it or
23:24
just others because you are appearance or you're just
23:26
curious what my thoughts are. So first of all, I am not going
23:30
to be the expert on each of your personal lives.
23:32
I can only share principles, my own experiences and stories,
23:36
share the research that I have obviously share about the my
23:40
faith and the faith. But I'm not going to be able to
23:43
give detailed personalized advice for each person's
23:46
situation because every situation is going to be
23:48
different. I will share a couple guidelines
23:52
and, and by the way, I highly recommend for anyone listening,
23:55
especially if you're navigating the world of dating, whether
23:58
you're 15 years old or you're 35 years old, to have not just good
24:04
friends that you believe are on the right path, trying to become
24:08
good people of of God and virtuous people, but that you
24:13
are also how you have people in your life who are mentors.
24:16
For me, mentors have been so essential because they get to
24:19
people that you're accountable to.
24:21
Spiritual guides. I mean, I had my, I got my first
24:23
spiritual director when I was 19 years old and it transformed my
24:27
entire life. Somebody that I came to know
24:31
very closely, they got to know me, I met with them regularly.
24:34
They knew everything about me. I wasn't hiding from them.
24:37
And we had a shared plan for how I wanted to grow in my face and
24:41
how I wanted to grow in virtue. And I think that's so important
24:44
because having those sorts of guides and then also just
24:47
having, you know, whether it's like a father or mother who
24:50
you're close to, or, you know, an aunt or an uncle or just an
24:52
older brother or sister or somebody that's like a mentor in
24:55
your life who can get to know you really well.
24:58
Somebody whose opinion you trust and respect.
25:01
Somebody who themselves is living a life that is virtuous
25:04
and wise, a life of prudence. I think that that is the best
25:08
way to help navigate all of the insurance and outs of something
25:11
like a dating relationship to have guides who can help you as
25:15
well as, of course, doing it directly with the person you're
25:17
dating. So that would be my first piece
25:19
of advice is look, I cannot be I do not have all the answers you
25:23
all you all know that not no one does except I think God himself.
25:27
And one of the best ways to access wisdom is to have
25:31
somebody accompany you who is very wise.
25:34
That being said, a couple thoughts on how young is too
25:36
young to date as you guys know what I said in the episode on
25:41
principles for dating, You know, dating is about what dating is
25:45
about. Yes, growing as a person, you
25:47
can have fun all of these things, but the ultimate purpose
25:49
of dating is to discover with another person, to discern with
25:52
another person if you are called to marry them and then to make
25:55
that decision whether or not to marry them or to not date them
25:58
anymore. And yes, that sounds like a
26:01
really big deal for a first date.
26:02
I'm not saying on the first date you're like, OK, are we called
26:04
to get married because you're just getting to know them.
26:08
But applying this to teenagers dating, how likely is it that a
26:12
teenager is going to be able to get married anytime in the
26:14
foreseeable future? Well, for some of them, it might
26:17
be. It might be possible.
26:18
Some teens, you know, they're planning to get their career in
26:21
order go to college. You know, my brother, for
26:23
example, he got married at 22. He dated in college and got
26:26
married right when he graduated. I know people that get married
26:30
fairly young like that or even a little bit younger.
26:34
I think that in those cases, it's important that they're
26:37
especially sure they're prepared for marriage, that this is not
26:39
something that's just an emotional decision or they're
26:41
feeling pressured into. But so it really depends.
26:45
Again, it really depends on the person.
26:47
I think as a general principle, I would encourage avoiding
26:50
dating in high school and to focus instead on building
26:53
friendships. And instead of one-on-one dates
26:56
and things like that, you're having a lot of time with a
26:58
group of friends and getting to know people of the opposite sex
27:01
and growing in friendship with them through groups.
27:04
That doesn't mean you won't have a crush or you won't build a
27:06
special bond with someone somebody, but it's focusing on
27:09
getting to know them in a context of friendship.
27:11
And then as you get older and you're more prepared to actually
27:15
begin planning for your future marriage, then you can start to
27:18
maybe be more intentional and specific about dating.
27:22
So those are just some thoughts. Again, this is not some
27:24
prohibition on any dating as a teenager because I have seen
27:27
teens date successfully and actually get married like right
27:30
after college or even some of them didn't go to college.
27:33
They found good jobs and they don't married in the early 20s.
27:35
So I do think that that is a possibility for some people.
27:38
But I think the involvement of a community, so a friend group,
27:42
being accountable to, you know, family, I think is really
27:45
important. Parents, I think that's really
27:48
key that this is not again, come become something that is like a
27:52
like marriage without being married when you're a teenager.
27:55
I know these relationships can feel really intense sometimes
27:58
and that yeah, there's good boundaries and standards, but
28:00
absolutely, I think that teens can get to know each other,
28:03
members of the opposite sex, and it can even be a form of dating.
28:06
But I do think parental involvement is really important
28:08
and I think that just being really mature and focused on the
28:11
long term is also really important.
28:13
So those are just some general thoughts.
28:14
Overall, as a principle, I think that dating is a very serious
28:17
thing. Meaning, yes, it can be fun and
28:20
unserious, like when it's dates 12345, whatever, but the point
28:23
is it's not just something you do for fun.
28:25
It's not just something you do to hang out, it's not just
28:28
something you do to absolutely not to just hook up or anything
28:31
like that. But dating is for discovering if
28:33
you're used to get married. So from that perspective, I
28:35
think that if you are very young, I would consider spending
28:38
a lot of time on your friendships and a lot of time in
28:41
your education and growing in virtue and getting to know God
28:44
better, getting to yourself better, and maybe saving dating
28:47
for when you're closer to when you could actually get married.
28:50
That would be my advice. That would be my thoughts.
28:53
But again, everybody's different and I would highly encourage you
28:55
talk to parents and mentors and that you are in a community of
29:00
people that are on the same path, trying to discover virtue
29:04
and become the best people that they can be.
29:06
Next question, How should I vote in the 2020 election?
29:10
Wow. That's a big question,
29:13
especially because there's like 20 Democratic candidates.
29:17
We don't know who the candidates going to be yet.
29:19
But actually there's a shortcut here because yes, there are 20.
29:25
I think 21. I don't even know Democratic
29:28
candidates. And then there's obviously
29:29
President Trump, who would be the incumbent.
29:31
And it's very clear that I will not be voting for a single one
29:36
of those Democratic candidates, no matter who gets the
29:38
nomination, because from what I understand of all of them,
29:41
they're all very pro abortion. And most of them have said this
29:45
explicitly. So near none of them, not a
29:48
single Democratic candidate for president has said that they
29:52
support a single abortion restriction.
29:54
That let me say that again, not a single Democratic candidate
29:57
for president has said that they will support a single abortion
30:00
restriction. Most of them have said that they
30:02
support taxpayer funding for abortion.
30:04
Most of them have said that they oppose all restrictions on
30:08
abortion. So that means to clarify, they
30:11
want abortion for any reason through all nine months up until
30:16
the moment of birth. And the Democratic Party
30:20
platform is this, it is abortion for any reason through all nine
30:24
months. So this is these are abortions
30:26
that include killing children who are 7 lbs able to be born
30:32
and survive and be healthy. I'm giving them lethal
30:35
injections in the womb and delivering them dead.
30:38
And then the Democratic Party wants to pay, wants to have
30:41
taxpayers. So you and me, we have to pay
30:44
for other people to have abortion.
30:46
And I think one of the reasons there are so many abortions in
30:48
America is because it's so accessible.
30:50
It's like seeing like, oh, getting, you know, your ears
30:52
pierced, just go get an abortion.
30:54
And women are feeling very fearful and, and, and pressured.
30:57
And so it's just this quick fix, 500 bucks, go get an abortion.
30:59
Or even under the Democrats, it would be free.
31:02
Taxpayers pay for it. Just go get an abortion and that
31:05
is incredibly horrific. It's horrific for the baby.
31:09
It's so damaging for so many women and girls and would be
31:13
fathers. It's cheapening like treating
31:15
life as so cheap and worthless, like garbage.
31:18
And it's what the Democratic candidates support.
31:21
I wrote an opinion piece on this for the Hill recently and I
31:25
actually evaluated a bunch of the leading candidates.
31:27
So I talked about, you know, Kamala Harris and she is
31:32
extremely pro abortion. She actually tried to prosecute
31:35
David Daleiden, the brave activist exposing Planned
31:39
Parenthood, selling body parts. She actually as attorney general
31:43
of California before she ran for Senate and then now is for
31:46
running for to be the nominee for president.
31:48
She actually criminally convicted him.
31:51
If she had actually to clarify, she sent her state agents to
31:57
raid David Daleiden's apartment in Southern California.
32:00
And she never investigated Planned Parenthood.
32:03
She actually had a Planned Parenthood petition on her
32:05
Senate campaign website saying support Planned Parenthood.
32:08
So Kamala Harris is so in the bag with the abortion industry.
32:12
The same is true for Bernie Sanders.
32:13
He's 100% pro abortion. He does not support any
32:16
restrictions. He wants taxpayer funding for
32:18
abortion. I mean, Bernie Sanders wants
32:20
taxpayer funding for everything. I think Bernie Sanders thinks
32:23
that there is unlimited money in the bank and we will just, we
32:28
could just magically fund everything and it's never going
32:30
to have any economic ill effect on anyone, which is kind of a
32:33
socialist idea that there's just, you know, spend, spend,
32:37
spend. Make the government control all
32:39
industries and just give away everything to everybody who
32:41
wants it. Well, that's the way to first of
32:43
all, just destroy freedoms for a lot of people and then grind the
32:46
economy to a halt. And I mean, that's look at
32:48
Venezuela. They're literally starving and
32:51
eating dogs on the street because the government took over
32:53
all the industries in this in the in the country and they
32:58
basically implemented socialism. So yeah, Bernie Sanders is a
33:02
self-proclaimed socialist. I digress.
33:04
I'm talking about his abortion record primarily, but he's very
33:07
pro abortion. I mean, we could just go on Joe
33:10
Biden. I mean, it was so sad.
33:12
Joe Biden just a few weeks ago said that he actually supported
33:18
the the Hyde Amendment, the law that says that taxpayer money,
33:22
federally, federal taxpayer money cannot be used to directly
33:25
reimburse for abortion. So Joe Biden seemed to support
33:29
this and said, yes, actually we shouldn't force taxpayers to
33:32
fund abortions. Now we still fund Planned
33:34
Parenthood, but and that money is fungible.
33:37
So we give Planned Parenthood a bunch of money and then they
33:39
commit a bunch of abortions, but at least they can't directly
33:42
bill the government for abortion.
33:44
Then just I think 24 hours burn not Bernie, but Biden
33:47
flip-flopped on it and said actually no, I do support
33:51
repealing. So getting rid of the Hyde
33:53
Amendment, so they're all the same.
33:56
I mean, Pete boot edge edge, very pro abortion.
34:00
Who else is there? There's obviously Cory Booker.
34:02
So pro abortion. He came out saying men need to
34:05
stand up for abortion rights. Yeah, men need to stand up for
34:08
children and women and the protection of both the, you
34:13
know, obviously Elizabeth Warren, extremely pro abortion.
34:16
Senator Warren, just like Bernie Sanders through all nine months
34:18
or any reason, pretty much all of them.
34:20
I haven't seen a single one of them deviate in any way, so
34:24
differ in any way from the Democratic Party's platform on
34:27
abortion, which is abortion through all nine months for any
34:29
reason. So heartbreaking.
34:31
But I will not be voting for a Democrat in the 2020 election.
34:34
I can't in good conscience and I don't think that anybody can,
34:37
especially if you're a Catholic or you're a Protestant.
34:39
I think if you're if someone who says that they're a Christian,
34:41
you cannot vote for a Democratic Democrat in 2020 because they
34:45
support effectively infanticide killing full term babies for any
34:48
reason. And it's just absolutely
34:50
horrific. And that being said, when it
34:52
comes to will, then who do I vote for?
34:55
I would say I think it is absolutely acceptable to vote
34:58
for Trump. And you know, he has been
34:59
pro-life. I think that I will be talking
35:01
about immigration in the next podcast.
35:03
So we will get into that. But I think that ultimately, if
35:06
you want to write somebody in, if that's what you feel called
35:08
to do, because for whatever, you know, your own conscience,
35:11
you're like, I can't vote for Trump.
35:12
I can't vote for the Democratic candidates.
35:14
Then that's up to you. But I would say the, the, the
35:17
red line that I recommend that I actually say is that you we
35:22
cannot vote for somebody who is so pro abortion, like any of
35:25
these Democratic candidates. And it's really sad.
35:27
It's really sad because there are pro-life Democrats out
35:29
there. They're just not represented
35:31
right now. They're not represented
35:32
whatsoever by their party who is the party potential nominees.
35:37
And it's just really, really sad.
35:39
So that's my thoughts on 2020. Their debates are coming up.
35:42
I'm sure there'll be lots of interesting comments.
35:45
I will be very interesting to see how abortion is addressed in
35:49
the Democratic debates. I will be looking forward to see
35:51
if they're actually asked about their complete horrific extreme
35:54
support, which by the way, most of the country disagrees with.
35:58
Only 7% of millennials agree with the Democratic Party's
36:02
platform on abortion. Only 7%.
36:05
The vast majority of millennials want abortion restrictions and
36:09
at least the first trimester or completely banned all together
36:12
and they want they do not support the extremism of the the
36:16
Democratic platform. All right, next question.
36:18
I have been getting questions about makeup.
36:21
This is from a Insta story I did a couple weeks ago about all
36:25
these makeup companies that are supporting Planned Parenthood on
36:28
abortion. They just came out about it.
36:29
So Mac Cosmetics, so owned by Estee Lauder, Glossier, a few
36:33
others. It's really sad and I've been
36:36
using a Mac product for concealer for a long time.
36:40
I've really liked it and I had to change because I cannot
36:42
support companies that ultimately so blatantly support
36:46
abortion. So I got a lot of great
36:48
recommendations from you. You guys have asked what I have
36:51
ended up going with. I'm actually still
36:52
experimenting. I like to try makeup for a while
36:55
before really committing and right now I'm trying out, but
36:58
it's a bit of an expensive product, but it is so far I
37:03
think pretty good. It's Laura Mercier's flawless
37:06
fusion concealer for those interested.
37:08
I actually got feedback not just from a lot of women on this, but
37:11
even some men who were telling me about products their wives
37:14
use. So thanks for that.
37:15
But Laura Mercier's flawless Fusion concealer, I'll let you
37:18
know how it how it fares. That's my update.
37:21
My understanding is they do not support abortion or Planned
37:23
Parenthood. Obviously we'll keep an eye on
37:26
it to make sure that that does not change.
37:28
All right, just a couple more questions because this isn't
37:30
longer episode. I did get a few questions about
37:34
prayer routine, people asking how I put prayer first, how I
37:38
put God first, and I will briefly share what I try to do
37:41
daily. So daily I try to make time for
37:45
mental prayer. So that's prayer with just me,
37:47
my Bible or my prayer book or spiritual book and my journal.
37:50
And I get to just talk to God directly.
37:53
So I try to do 30 minutes a day of that time set aside.
37:56
Sometimes it gets to be 10 minutes here, 20 minutes here,
37:59
but it's trying to really set aside time to actually listen
38:03
and tell God everything and talk to not just God, but Christ and
38:08
the Holy Spirit. I also, I try to go to Mass
38:10
every day. Sometimes I don't make it every
38:13
day when I'm traveling or for other reasons, but I try to do
38:16
Mass daily. That's been really powerful for
38:18
me and sustaining for me because it's getting to actually receive
38:22
Jesus in the Eucharist. You know, this is Jesus who told
38:24
us throughout the New Testament to receive him and to do this in
38:29
remembrance of him. And he said if you eat my blood
38:33
or if you eat my flesh and drink my blood, then he will have a
38:37
part in me. And he is actually telling us to
38:39
be united with him. I will talk more about that in a
38:42
future episode. A lot of questions I actually
38:44
got about my my faith, my Catholicism, why I'm Catholic.
38:47
I became Catholic when I was 20. I do want to get into that in
38:51
another episode. We're running out of time for
38:52
today. I also got a bunch of other
38:54
questions related to the border and related to some other hot
38:58
button political issues. I do want to get in depth on
39:01
those topics and I will be doing that in future episodes because
39:04
I need to wind today's up or wind today's down, finish
39:08
today's up. So so yeah, next episode will be
39:11
on the border crisis and that whole situation.
39:14
And I hope you guys listen. I hope today's episode was
39:17
interesting. It was a little bit of a mixed
39:19
bag. I talked about sex myths and
39:22
talked about the Democratic candidates and answered some
39:25
other questions. But keep the questions coming.
39:26
I love them. Keep the comments coming again,
39:29
if you can, if you find this podcast interesting, please rate
39:33
and review it. Subscribe all your reviews help
39:37
the podcast reach more people. I love getting your reviews,
39:39
whether it's just hitting five stars or actually writing
39:41
something out. I love that.
39:43
Thank you so much. I think we're at 750 or almost
39:46
800. I'm trying to get to 1000.
39:48
That's a goal. Thank you very much for the
39:50
support there. And then if you want to support
39:52
the podcast in any other way, you can go to lilaroseshow.com.
39:55
You can e-mail me. There's actually a way to even
39:57
donate. I will be doing guests in the in
39:59
in the future, interviewing guests and it is podcast.
40:02
Will be filmed in the future as I raise the support for that.
40:05
So thank you for your ongoing support.
40:07
Thank you for listening. I hope you have a wonderful rest
40:09
of your day. God bless.