Latest / Project You 2.2 / Carrie - Busy Is the New Numb | Why Staying Busy Is Keeping You Stuck …Series: Clutter → Clarity → Capacity, Ep. 2

Transcript

Carrie - Busy Is the New Numb | Why Staying Busy Is Keeping You Stuck …Series: Clutter → Clarity → Capacity, Ep. 2 · Project You 2.2

• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Carrie Helmer, life coach, former teacher of 31 years, mom of three boys, and someone who has spent the last few years really figuring out what it means to stop just showing up and to actually feel life again, to feel more present, to feel more joy, and to feel like me again.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Project U 2.2 is a podcast where we have real conversations about growth, identity, confidence, and what it actually takes to create a life that feels good on the inside and not just one that looks good on the outside.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're talking about something that I see all of the time, and most people don't even realize they're doing it.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about being busy.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: We all do it.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: We think we are being productive and we stay so busy because we got accustomed to thinking that busy was normal and expected, even admirable.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: But what if I told you for a lot of people, busy doesn't mean productive, it's avoidance.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to think about your day yesterday, from the moment you woke up to the moment you went to bed.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: How much of it was filled by being busy?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Running errands, cooking, doing stuff, helping kids, parents, friends, relatives, scrolling social media, maybe exercising, working, cleaning, unloading the dishwasher, folding laundry, all of my least favorite things to do.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Making your bed, taking out the garbage, feeding the dog, packing lunches, making dinner, and thinking about what's next.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Then you ask yourself, when did you actually stop and sit still in the quiet?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: I see so many people who have calendars that are full, their mind is full, their house is full, their life is full, but they don't feel fulfilled.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: But instead of questioning it, we justify it.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: We say this is just a busy season or this is how life is right now, and I don't really have a choice.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: How many times when you ask people how they are, do they respond with, Oh, you know, we're good, life is busy, we're just busy going to kids' events, busy working, just busy.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: But if you stop to examine it, a lot of that busyness is a choice.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: We're not always doing it consciously, but it's there because when your life is constantly full and busy, you don't have to sit with what's underneath it.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to feel the discomfort, the doubt, the questions, the things that might come up if you actually just slowed down.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is something that I saw with a client recently.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Her life was busy, it was packed between family responsibilities, commitments.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: There was always something.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it looked like she was just handling life.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Life got in the way and made her busy.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: But when we started to peel this back, she wasn't just busy.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: She was protecting herself from things she might feel and different identities that she thought she had to do.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if she stopped doing so much for other people, if she stopped putting everyone else before herself, and if she stopped being creative and overdoing everything, she would lose a piece of who she was because that was her identity.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: That is who she was.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: This shows up in ways that we don't always recognize because sometimes we say yes, and when we want to say no, we fill our calendar so we don't have any open space.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: We are constantly checking our phone, checking our email, checking our text, checking social media.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: We turn on the TV as soon as things get quiet.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: We turn on the radio in our cars, and we always just have stuff playing in the background.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: We make phone calls, we text a friend back because that silence can feel uncomfortable, and most people don't realize why.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Silence creates space, space brings awareness.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And awareness can be powerful, but it can be scary.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's where things start to shift, but it's also where things can start feeling real.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of sitting in that space, we stay moving, we stay busy, we stay distracted because it feels easier, even though it makes us exhausted.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is that being busy doesn't solve anything, it just delays stuff.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And over time, that delay turns into burnout, it turns into disconnection, and feeling stuck in this life that doesn't quite feel like yours.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I've caught myself doing this too.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Even something as simple as picking up my phone, and instead of just sitting for a minute, I realize that I haven't even had a moment of quiet all day.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: We don't even give ourselves space to hear ourselves anymore.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And this again doesn't mean that you need to overhaul your life or do a 180 because it's silly to think you can suddenly just become someone who has hours of free time.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: But it's important to start noticing where am I feeling space instead of allowing it?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I staying busy instead of being honest?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to encourage you to start small.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Leave 10 minutes open in your day where you put your phone away, you don't have any noise, it's just you.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And notice what comes up.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't judge it, don't fix it, just notice because this is where clarity begins when you have that quiet time.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's on a walk, maybe it's on a car ride, and just turn the phone off, set it away.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: It should be there anyways.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Turn the radio off and just enjoy the stillness.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is exactly where coaching comes in because most people can notice it, but they don't know what to do next.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: They fall right back into the cycle.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: But when you have someone guiding you, helping you sort through what's real and what actually needs to change, you notice that things start shifting faster, and that's where you stop spinning and you start moving forward.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: If something hit home for you today, don't ignore that because that awareness is where everything starts.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then the next step is deciding you're not going to stay there.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're ready for that, go to www.project you22.org to message me, set up a call, we'll walk through what's really going on and map out your next steps and what they could look like.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to figure this out alone.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope you have a great day.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you in the next episode.