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Backstage Pass to Trauma Care | Understanding Trauma, Transforming Care With Danielle · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

• 0:01
  Welcome to this special summer Speedos episode of Journey with Care.
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  Today, we're featuring Danielle from Ottawa who recently participated in our
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  trauma care master class. In this conversation, we have a guest host,
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  Tim, who is our lead trauma care trainer, invites Danielle to
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  share some of her personal journey, what first sparked her interest in
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  understanding trauma, the impact it's had on her work with Safe Families
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  Canada, and what she took away from the course. So whether you're new to the
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  ideas of trauma care or have some experience, this episode
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  offers relatable insights on empathy, growth, and supporting
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  others through difficult times. So enjoy this conversation with Tim
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  and Danielle.
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  Let's start. Danielle, it's so great to have you with us from
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  Ottawa. What's something simple that brought you some joy
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  this week? I did a little training with my dog
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  last night, which was nice. We have a puppy who brings
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  us joy, but she also brings us some, like, maybe
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  annoyances every now and again because of some behaviors. So that was
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  fun. I we enjoyed that. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. You're finding joy and
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  hope in in things moving forward even if at the moment they're a bit of
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  a mess. Exactly. Well, before we jump into your
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  story, could you share a little bit about, yourself?
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  So I live in Ottawa on the East End. We came to
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  Ottawa based on a job for my husband.
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  He's a pastor here in the city. Over the years,
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  I've played a number of different roles in between church
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  ministry and kinda social services work
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  in one way or another in the helping professions. So currently,
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  over the last two years, I've been working with Safe
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  Families Canada, here in the Ottawa chapter. My current role
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  is family coach supervisor. So I oversee
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  our, volunteers, work on training with our volunteers,
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  and work on matching the families that we
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  support with volunteers that we get to match
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  with them for a circle of support. Beautiful, diverse work you've been involved in there
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  in Ottawa. Can you share a little bit about your journey in understanding
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  trauma? What first opened your heart to wanting to know
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  more? So it's interesting. When I think about my journey
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  of understanding trauma, I,
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  myself, had experienced some trauma, in my
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  own background and childhood as many many people
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  have. But the first time kind of the word came up for
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  me, it was somebody from my previous church
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  who basically said, oh my goodness, this terrible thing has happened, and
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  it's actually trauma. And and I remember at that time, it's
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  years ago now, but I remember at that time thinking, does she think she
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  has PTSD? And thinking, like, that's just for
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  people who are in the army and serving in war. And
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  because that was that was really the understanding that I had and
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  many people around me had in terms of what
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  what trauma is and that it's associated with these
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  major disasters, worldwide disasters.
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  And so that was kind of the first, experience that
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  I had of using that word trauma for kinda
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  everyday people. And, unfortunately, at the time, I
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  remember I was a little bit judgmental thinking, like, how is that
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  possible that she would place herself in that kind of a a
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  scenario as if she's, you know, had this major thing
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  happen. Of course, over the years, I've understood more
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  and more about trauma and come to repent
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  for thinking that way about this woman who actually
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  had her own situation, traumatic situation.
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  And at the time, I'm sure I made
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  much too light of it compared to what was actually going on,
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  and just out of a lack of understanding. And
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  so I would say since joining, say,
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  families, I have wanted to understand
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  trauma a lot better. Just with many of the families that we
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  work with, I would say most, if not all,
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  have some form of trauma in their background, whether the parents or
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  the children or both. And so it really is
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  my due diligence and absolute,
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  necessity for me to have greater understanding on
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  trauma, on its effects, on how to work
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  with people who have trauma in their lives.
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  And just even having had better understanding for myself
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  and my own previous trauma, getting some therapy over the years has
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  helped me to understand it better. And then
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  working with other people, I really want to have a
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  greater sense of empathy, especially certain
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  behaviors can look like, are you doing that on purpose?
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  Or are you saying what are you saying? Or how you know, so
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  I I don't wanna have that view. I certainly wanna always look
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  at the person from the perspective of how can I best care for them
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  given their scenario? Wow. Thank you for sharing that personal
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  experience. Those are difficult stories to
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  share sometimes in the way that our hearts and our eyes get open to something
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  we didn't see before, but we love, you know, Maya Angelou's quote,
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  when we know better, then we do better. And having that same compassion
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  grace for ourselves is beautiful. I hear you carrying that. As
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  you've shared your your story and how, your heart
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  continues to open in the work that you're doing with Safe Families, could you just
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  very briefly, for any of our listeners who aren't familiar with Safe Families,
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  just describe what Safe Families is and then maybe a little
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  piece on your role just so we can understand
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  clearly what what you're up to in in the way that you use this this
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  understanding where your heart has shifted. Sure. So Safe
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  Families Canada is a national organization here in
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  Canada. Safe Families wraps around families that are going
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  through a crisis for a short term period, but we always
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  seek to wrap around through supports that are relational.
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  So some of the different roles that our volunteers play are
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  they may do a hosting. Host families would have children come
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  to stay at their home, whether for a day hosting or for overnight hostings,
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  while parents are working through a crisis so that they can stabilize their
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  home environment so that children can come back. The goal is
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  always reunification. We have family coaches that work with
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  families, the parents typically, to help them to get to that place
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  of stabilization, moving towards some of those goals, building
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  goals for the parents to work towards so that their home can
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  be more stable, their life can be more stable with their family, with their
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  children, so it's a safe place for them. We also have family
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  friends, volunteers that, come alongside just as
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  you or I would with a friend who's in need,
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  and maybe it's a phone call, a listening ear, somebody to
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  be there as a support network, come by, maybe babysit the
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  kids while mom has an appointment or whatever it might be. And
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  then we have resource friends that come alongside in kind of practical
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  ways. It might be bringing a meal. They might never actually have
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  access to the families themselves. We have a volunteer who makes meals and drops
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  them at our office, and then we bring them to a family in need.
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  It might be people who have specific skills that can
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  help out with, you know, handiwork or helping with
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  taxes or whatever the need might be, just to make sure that families
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  that could be lacking resources in order to provide the best
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  support, that we help with those resources. So it's all really meant to
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  be proactive, preventative, deflecting
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  any need for child welfare just to help with those
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  supports in a natural way, family like supports, before the
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  big need is there for maybe to have children
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  removed or, you know, some very difficult scenario. Thank
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  you. And we're just coming out of a course.
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  You were participating in the trauma care master class with Care Impact recently.
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  Is there something because that's so fresh for you, is something during
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  the course that resonated with you or helped you deepen this learning journey
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  you've been on in understanding trauma and how to care well? Yeah. I
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  think the big thing for me is having greater
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  understanding over development of a child, especially.
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  Like, even when I look at the moms, if they've had, you know, trauma
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  as a small child, and it's affected their development
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  in whatever way, like, that helps me to come
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  alongside with a lot more empathy when I when I go, okay.
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  The brain development, the emotional connection, those
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  bonds, all the things that I might take for granted and go,
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  like, why is this person behaving this way? It
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  seems like such a major response for such a simple thing.
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  But yet, if I have a little bit of understanding for the
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  parents, but also their children who have also had some
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  potentially had some trauma as well, and understanding that
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  reaction a little bit better so that I can come alongside
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  and even train my volunteers to come alongside with that added
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  compassion and empathy. I think that's helped me a lot to keep
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  it at the forefront, understanding that there actually
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  is a difference in the brain and how
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  it's developed. So that part, as well as understanding
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  the benefit of the positive childhood
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  experiences and babyhood experiences. So that's something that
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  really has encouraged me in the work that I do. Because
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  if I can let families know or volunteers know that with what they
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  are doing, by adding those positive
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  experiences and wherever possible just
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  lumping on, you know, love and care and support and
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  positivity that it could actually be changing the
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  trajectory of a child who has had, you know,
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  some pretty adverse things perhaps in their past. And so,
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  yeah, that's a really encouraging like, I remember even in the very
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  beginning of the course, the first couple of weeks are so
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  hard to get through because it's very
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  much the the problem. Right? But we have to understand the
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  problem in order to then be able to move forward and
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  Mhmm. Kinda look at, okay, now how can we counteract
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  that? So I think those positive experiences that we can
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  build into is is a big takeaway for me.
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  Now the course is completed. You've kinda sat in this
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  content afresh and in a deeper way like you're sharing. Has there been a
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  moment maybe recently where you've something you've learned
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  or or realized helped you approach a situation differently?
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  Some little snapshot story for our listeners. Yeah. Like, I
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  think it's still very possible for me
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  to have a knee jerk reaction to and and not usually
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  where it's actually coming out at somebody, but where internally
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  I might have that knee jerk reaction to the way
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  somebody might be presenting some information.
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  Even today, like, I got a text from somebody who's sort
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  of disgruntled about one of the things that has happened with
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  somebody who's completely not related to me, but yet I'm
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  found myself as the middle man in this situation. And my
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  first knee jerk is wanting to just sort of, like, deal with
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  it yourself. I don't wanna do I don't wanna be in the middle of this.
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  I wasn't even in the middle of this. How did I get here? But,
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  again, looking at okay. This is a family that
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  has been going through the ringer and
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  looking at the story rather than looking at this
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  text that comes in with, like, it's on fire,
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  all the things. Mhmm. If I can remember
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  the story, like, what happened that got the
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  person here, then I can certainly
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  respond with the kind of empathy that's needed and the
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  understanding that's needed, and imagining myself in the
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  situation that she and her family have just been through. Mhmm. And how
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  would I respond? What would I be doing? So for me, the big thing
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  of of trauma care is that it's it's
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  building that empathy muscle because
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  it's the only way. Like, black and white if there's no black and white in
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  trauma care, if you'd look at things black and white, it's like, this is what
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  said, therefore, I'm gonna respond like this. But no,
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  it's this is what was said, what's the heart behind it,
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  what's the situation that led to it, and just having a much greater
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  understanding and and compassion in my not only in my response,
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  because I'm pretty good at mustering together the response, but I'm hoping
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  for more and more change in my heart in
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  that initial heart knee jerk reaction. So I think
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  transformation in that way is kinda what I'm seeing coming
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  and hoping for more. That's beautiful. Yeah. We talk in the course
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  about competent compassion, and sometimes we see ourselves growing more in the compassion
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  end and sometimes more in the competent end, and then they really come together
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  in the end. Right? And beautiful. Beautiful to hear you sharing how
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  your heart is shifting. And when you're paying attention to that, you know that there
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  is there's deep work happening. Well, Danielle, thank you so much
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  for sharing your story and, how
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  this learning journey that you have come into starting
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  with that conversation with a friend mentioning the word trauma and you
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  having your own experience and reaction and then, you know, doing that deep
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  work that you're continuing to do. I know this will be an
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  encouragement to the listeners on our podcast. Would you have
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  an encouragement, something for someone who's maybe just beginning
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  to explore trauma care and the importance of trauma care? Just a quick
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  encouragement for them as they're sitting with this idea, should they go forward with
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  it. Yeah. I think it's really important if maybe if you
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  don't come from a trauma experience to
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  really befriend some people that have a maybe a different walk than your
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  own and try to understand, you know, their story a little
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  bit. And I think that's the thing that makes all the difference is
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  understanding where people are coming from, what their
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  background is, and maybe it's different from your own, but that's
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  okay. I think it just helps us to, yeah,
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  understand and have that sensitivity and empathy
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  walking alongside of people. That's beautiful. Well, thank you for that.
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  And I know your story is gonna be an encouragement to many Canadians
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  across our nation who are those neighbors, who have that one friend,
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  who have that person, or maybe even work in organizations like yourself that
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  are continually engaging with lots of folks who might be carrying hard
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  things. So bless you. Thank you for the work you do and really
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  appreciate you and your team there in Ottawa and, across
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  across Canada. Thank you, Tim. Thank you
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  for joining us on Journey with Care. To get more information on weekly
• 15:07
  episodes, upcoming opportunities, or to connect with our
• 15:10
  community, visit journeywithcare.ca, or find Care Impact
• 15:14
  on Facebook and Instagram, or just check the show notes for these
• 15:18
  links and all the links related to this episode. Share your thoughts,
• 15:22
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• 15:25
  faith and purpose. Together, let's discover how we can make a
• 15:29
  meaningful impact.