Latest / No Latency / S2E68 - Midnight Train

Transcript

S2E68 - Midnight Train · No Latency

0:02
Last time on no latency. A pint.
0:06
A pint of blood for this pass. You smell that smell, The hint
0:10
of Iona's blood boiling. I I think someone's given blood.
0:13
Why wouldn't you do it while I was passed out?
0:15
Clearly, Iona wants to be awake for this whole idea.
0:18
Whoops. How do you audit the building?
0:20
What kind of audit is? It.
0:21
I was just here for the company. No, you you should come with us,
0:24
Ted. Yeah, that's what I'm doing.
0:26
I'm smoking another cigarette. It feels like I'm missing a pint
0:29
of blood. Boom, nailed it.
0:31
I can get down. Yeah, if only we had a way to,
0:33
like, find someone to fly up there and hit the lever.
0:36
Girl, did you hear that? You want to be useful again.
0:38
That's. Fun.
0:39
Yeah, I'm so sorry. I don't have one story.
0:41
I don't. Love people leaving.
0:42
I forgot it was tonight. Thank you for reminding me some.
0:45
Cool underground place at midnight.
0:47
Well, Choo Choo motherfuckers. Let's go.
1:00
I just. I just.
1:01
Honestly I'm I'm feeling bad about about Sloan recently.
1:06
You know and I I think what it is is that we had such a strong
1:10
companionship when I was out in the when I was out outside the
1:16
the city walls because we only had each other.
1:18
But ever since I met you guys, I I feel that as my relationship
1:23
grows with y'all, my relationship with her diminishes
1:27
and I just know that she's not feeling, you know, neglected and
1:31
all. She's just an animal.
1:34
She's a bird. She She understands.
1:37
I mean, you know, birds can have feelings too.
1:39
But they do. They're usually quite smart.
1:43
But she. Understands I I'm Do you think
1:45
so? Yes.
1:47
All right. I mean, Jeb, let's just really
1:49
look at it this way. We were stuck upon a tower just
1:53
hours ago with no way down. And who was it that came and
1:57
saved us, Sloane? True.
2:00
I just don't want her to think that I only, you know, hang out
2:02
with her when I want something from her.
2:04
You know what? I mean, every time.
2:05
That's not true. Sloane's hanging out with us.
2:09
It's a good point. It's a good point.
2:11
Do you need some like one-on-one time with your bird?
2:15
I just think I might just have to call on her a little bit more
2:18
often, you know, and and show her that I care for her and not
2:23
just her ability to fly and see the the battlefield from a
2:27
different vantage point. It's a shame that they won't be
2:30
useful for this mission though, since we're going underground.
2:32
I know Which. Anyway, let's go for that plan
2:34
again, the one that we already for sure have locked in and
2:38
we're now just telling each other again, just to make sure
2:42
that we all remembered it. Right.
2:44
So Domino said that there was a safe and that there were
2:47
security measures. What did Sky say?
2:50
They said that only two of us can get in the room, so.
2:55
Besides me. Yes, besides Iona.
2:58
So that I'm assuming that means that whoever doesn't go in the
3:00
room will have to do something else.
3:04
And because we're underground, that means that you can't pull
3:06
like a a midnight market and get under the vault.
3:12
But we might be able to get around the vault, depending on
3:14
where this is. If it's been like if it's like a
3:18
reused old station, then that means that it wouldn't have been
3:21
built with that kind of security in mind.
3:22
So maybe there's a way around it?
3:25
How? How does anyone feel that wink?
3:28
Does anyone feel that it? Was like it was like it was like
3:32
God himself. That's so strange.
3:42
Right. Domino said that we can catch
3:43
the midnight train to anywhere from this station.
3:46
Just just over there. Jeff park the van.
3:49
Oh, OK, right, right here. Oh, hold on.
3:51
Damn it. That car just took my parking
3:53
spot. You son of a bitch.
3:57
And you hear them honk back, and he flips you off and drives
3:59
away. Yeah, yeah, fuck you.
4:01
Roll drive like land vehicle. He drives away because although
4:05
you thought he was taking your space, when he moves, you
4:07
realized he was parked illegally next to a hydrant.
4:09
However, you rolled 23 and find a space around the corner well
4:14
lit one. Because you rolled high enough,
4:15
it's very unlikely that anyone's going to mess with Vanna White.
4:18
As you step out of Vanna White, though, you notice that the
4:20
front has been crushed and you've lost the headlight
4:22
because you crashed it earlier today into Sky's car.
4:25
Yeah. I I I Jeb purposely doesn't look
4:28
at the front of the car, just. Oh fuck.
4:32
That's so hard. OK, All right, let's all head
4:36
into this station. So you head down in to this
4:39
station and you see that there's a a billboard up and it's got a
4:45
few different trains going to different parts of the city, and
4:47
then it flips and there's one that says anywhere.
4:52
That's it. Oh.
4:53
That's the one. Wow, this is quite literal.
4:56
It was crying in front of us the whole time.
4:59
Wait, what time is it? It's it's about 11:30.
5:02
Oh. We got 30 minutes.
5:05
Not too much longer now, hopefully.
5:08
I mean, I mean the Midnight Marks market starts at midnight,
5:10
so I think it the the train arrives at midnight, so it could
5:13
be here any. And a train just comes right by
5:15
in the midnight. Wow.
5:18
Fuck. God damn.
5:19
It. Fucking.
5:21
Hate trains? Now do we get do we do we get
5:23
tickets or just is it public is is public transportation free in
5:27
next? No.
5:27
When we walked through the gate, they deducted 5 eddies from each
5:30
of us. Sort of.
5:30
Oh, all right. It's one of.
5:33
The fishing. And the train stops, and you
5:37
find yourselves in front of the doors.
5:39
Damn, there's a spacious train. There's a a few other people
5:44
sitting in this train car. There's a guy asleep in the
5:47
corner, there's a chick playing on a BD in one of the chairs and
5:52
it looks like they've been sitting on this train for a few
5:54
hours. So, and you step onto this train
5:59
and it disappears into the tunnel, chugging along.
6:03
Oh, I I I it's really dirty in here.
6:09
Yes. I will say though, that the
6:14
motion is extremely smooth. I can barely feel it moving.
6:17
Is this magnetism? Yeah, magnet rail.
6:21
Magnet rail. Pretty great technology, except
6:26
if we hit a bump. Everyone roll Athletics.
6:28
Oh no. Great.
6:32
Yes, Anding into that I was. Just going to close, freshest
6:36
stuff because I assume fresh didn't come with us.
6:39
He did not I. Don't think I've ever taken.
6:40
Oh, that's not true. I have you.
6:42
You know it is canonical. That Jeb and Iona, you fall into
6:45
each other as the train takes a left turn.
6:47
Oh. Sorry about.
6:50
That you guys are right. And now, Iona, you kind of smell
6:52
like Jeb. Oh, I don't want to have a freak
6:57
out before we get to the market now.
6:58
You gotta smell like meat. Shut up.
7:01
Shut shut up. Just shut it.
7:03
Let's not have any. Injuries before we get to the
7:06
market. Well, I mean, they fell in each
7:08
other's arms. I think that.
7:09
Oh. God don't.
7:11
Oh. I mean, you don't cut each other
7:13
in a loving embrace of oh. Yes, you're fine.
7:18
You sanitize yourself and as you're sanitizing yourself.
7:22
I've got to do it one more time. Oh, you'd rather nine?
7:24
You feel great. You have enough sanitizer to
7:26
sanitize the chair. A.
7:29
Seat if you would. Like I would because I was good.
7:32
I was just going to stand here. But if we're going to hit bumps
7:34
like that, I don't want to bump into jab again, Sorry, nothing
7:38
against you if. You do not want to have to take
7:40
an athletics check. I'm sitting.
7:44
I see that makes sense. You can.
7:46
See. Yeah, grab a seat.
7:48
What do you? Say, just sit away from Jeb.
7:50
Sorry, no, no offence to you. Oh no, no, I'm taken.
7:54
Retro stands as the train comes to another stop.
7:58
Everyone roll athletics. Sorry, retro.
8:00
Roll Athletics. I was like, what?
8:01
15 Yes, you managed to keep your footing and the train stops at a
8:07
different station and on get. 5. Gangers from Maelstrom.
8:11
Gangers Gangers act. Normal I that's.
8:17
Probably not a good idea. What?
8:20
What do you mean? I don't know.
8:21
Just like act like we belong here.
8:24
It's a public transit everyone belong.
8:27
Here. And the doors close and you
8:30
disappear into the tunnel Once again.
8:32
They've all sat there. We're going to get to this
8:35
fucking place, blow the door down and steal their fucking
8:39
hearts. Phoebe's Phoebe's eyes widen,
8:45
and she looks at the rest of the group.
8:47
Guys, did you hear that? Yes, I did.
8:52
OK, no. What what did they say?
8:54
Foot. Sorry, I'm listening to music.
8:57
What's going on that? Thing.
9:00
Just never mind. All good.
9:03
Phoebe and Vendel writes on their tile.
9:06
Like those guys are going to try and steal the heart.
9:09
And they show it to retro their little arrow over.
9:12
There we probably have to stop them, but.
9:15
Those assholes. Yeah, those.
9:17
Those assholes. Yes, the ones who.
9:18
Have to stop them or can we use them?
9:21
Oh, we could make them do the work for us.
9:24
Exactly. And then we jump them.
9:28
Sure, yeah. Not a bad idea.
9:32
Oh, VVVVVVVV you are, you have progressed within the group.
9:40
You are. You are reaching heights.
9:41
That are inspiring me now. It's truly an honor.
9:47
You know, you're you're right. I've never been like this until
9:51
I started hanging out with all of you.
9:54
And isn't it just so much better?
9:55
I don't know. I.
9:57
Retro rolled an athletics check as the train takes a right.
10:01
Retro, why don't you just sit down?
10:03
And retro does a really cool three-step thing and doesn't
10:05
even move. Yeah, It's just kind of like,
10:08
you know, being able to digit digital surf when you can, when
10:12
you're brain dance. Yeah, this is actually pretty
10:14
good. This is like almost as about as
10:16
close as you can at the moment. So are we going to take them out
10:21
now or? You kicked the Cam.
10:26
That's so gross. I'm sorry, I didn't.
10:28
Will you will you sanitize me? I'm sorry, I.
10:30
Touched it? Yes, I will.
10:32
Oh great, now there's a spilled beer everywhere.
10:36
Oh, no. Oh no.
10:40
Van Del puts their hand out and nothing comes out of Iona's
10:44
sanitizer container, which means now Iona has no sanitizer.
10:49
Oh no, we forgot to get sanitizer.
10:51
Yeah, it will. I'm.
10:53
Just a Biotechnica. I mean, now I really needed some
10:55
alcohol and I could figure, Oh well, you spelled it all over
10:58
the ground. Damn.
11:00
Are you OK, Iona? I'm OK.
11:02
I can just be dirty. Phrasing.
11:06
No, no, no, no, no, no you cannot.
11:09
Could you could you just move a seat away?
11:15
Well, I mean, look, there are vending machines in this train,
11:19
but you'd have to walk past the Maelstrom people.
11:22
Oh, that's fine. I Why?
11:24
But what I I get up, I start walking all right.
11:29
Get up. Walk past them.
11:30
Do do do you excuse? Me just roll athletics.
11:34
Oh God. Oh, as you walk forward, the
11:40
train doesn't turn, but one of the maelstrom guys sticks his
11:42
foot out to try and trip you, and you step over it and he
11:45
starts to laugh at you. I don't even look.
11:51
I continue walking. I'm at a vending machine.
11:56
The vending machine has a sanitizer canister in it, but
12:00
this is an on the move vending machine, so it costs 75 Eddie's.
12:09
Man, they're really jacking those crashes.
12:11
It is a convenience fee. Yeah, well.
12:14
I am going to think about what I'm going to do.
12:22
I'm What is cryptography? How's your accounting?
12:28
My accounting's pretty good. 'Cause then you could just, you
12:31
know, make it a What's it a business expense?
12:38
Oh, yes, but my criminology is There we go.
12:41
All right. From all of my time watching
12:46
Retro and Jeb Fonzay things, I am going to, without turning
12:54
around and looking at anybody for reassurance, I'm going to
12:58
take a nail file from inside of my bag and I'm going to pry open
13:03
the keypad and do what I think it is that Remy does when he
13:09
hacks things and cross some wires here.
13:12
And do you want to know the DV before you roll?
13:14
Yeah, sure. Great.
13:16
You're trying to imitate retro. You've known him for years now.
13:21
So I'm going to say that this is a difficult task, not a
13:26
professional task. OK?
13:28
And it is a 15. All right.
13:31
I'll put some luck into it. After all, you want to be level
13:33
headed for this midnight market? OK, I'm going to use three Luck
13:37
then. Oh shit.
13:38
Well. 15 You you meet the DV, but then get an extra 3 on top.
13:46
Because of that luck, the machine also spits up 10 eddies.
13:51
I collected, very nonchalant and turn around and just walk back.
14:00
Why are they standing up now? Why are they standing up now?
14:05
Do you load the canister into your arm before you leave the
14:08
vetting machine? No, because I turned around and
14:10
I have the canister in my hand and I see that they're standing
14:13
up. I just put it in my bag.
14:15
See, little Missy, you stepped onto our side of the train.
14:24
Oh goodness we. All side of the.
14:26
Train. It's public transportation.
14:28
No, no, no. She can sees it.
14:33
This is ours. We sit here, the vending
14:37
machines. All of this side of the train is
14:40
ours. Now you're stuck in this train
14:43
as it goes to wherever the fuck anywhere is, and you have a
14:48
problem. Oh.
14:50
And it's me. Oh sure.
14:52
You know, this is very elementary of you like cordoning
14:55
off your own section of transport.
15:00
I was so graciously letting you sit here because in fact you are
15:04
on my train car and I look at the rest of the team and I'm
15:07
like, stand up, stand up. Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
15:15
Sir. Sir, please.
15:17
You you you didn't mean it right.
15:20
Didn't mean it. Now you're stepping onto the.
15:23
Side No, no, no. Cece, I I own a they they didn't
15:26
mean it. They didn't mean it.
15:27
Please, please, you don't. Want to fuck with Maelstrom?
15:31
Because you're really close to all king with Maelstrom.
15:35
And as soon as he says that, you know, Remy's just been dancing
15:39
to his music, listening to that, and as he's been dancing half
15:43
paying attention has, you know, started hacky sacking the can
15:47
that was on there and kicks it directly into the face of that
15:51
maelstrom guy. Oh, cool.
15:53
Yeah, that is that is genuinely A1.
15:57
I just rolled and it spanks into the back of his head and cuts to
16:01
the side of his head and he loses 1 HP spank.
16:05
Fuck. And now he smells like spilled
16:08
beer. Probably is an upgrade going.
16:12
To be a bitch. To clean out of all of my cyber
16:14
tech that I'm going to fuck you up with.
16:18
Like I said, you are on our train.
16:21
Sorry, I wasn't listening. What'd you say?
16:22
I. Said roll for initiative.
16:34
Are you looking for an adventure?
16:37
Then join the four misfit adventurers to save the D8 epic
16:41
in their quest to find their way back home.
16:44
There's Haven, the Paladin. Or I rip off the flesh arm and I
16:48
beat you to death with it. Giddy the Barbarian.
16:51
That could be my blood. It probably will be in the
16:53
future. I'll take it.
16:54
Brash the Bard. Hey, wait, these were different
16:58
cards. I I swear.
16:59
And Shelly the sorcerer. Man, if we get put in jail again
17:03
for this, I'm be real upset. Join their journey as they roll
17:06
the dice, dice, battle, fearsome monsters.
17:12
I rolled a natural 10. No, my spirit.
17:15
And outsmart their foes. This party's great, by the way.
17:19
We're like, cool. I'd kill it.
17:21
TuneIn to save the D8 Epic, a live play D&D podcast that will
17:26
take you on an epic adventure of a lifetime.
17:41
Nobody talks to my boss like that.
17:44
Vandelle, what is your? Speed.
17:47
I. Never know if you never.
17:50
Know which is 6 boxes. 6 squares you.
17:53
Can move one. 2345 Yeah, Bam Vandelle is going to come up
18:00
behind the scaver and put him in a chokehold.
18:06
Oh, damn. OK.
18:07
Why not? Rope rolling.
18:09
Yeah, sure. Oh.
18:13
That's fucking one. That's crit.
18:15
Fail that again and that's six. That's minus. 6.
18:18
So they rolled 10 because they got a crit fail -6. 35. 35
18:24
versus 10. So yes, then they'll grabs this
18:27
Maelstrom goon from behind and causes them to be ensnared by
18:34
Vendel. They now can't use a move
18:36
action, and they'll be dragged with the attacker when the
18:38
attacker moves, and the attacker can end the grapple at any time.
18:40
So when we choose to let go of them, are they choking them?
18:44
No, just holding them. OK, so they've now got this
18:47
ganger held. Does Vendel do anything else?
18:50
Yeah, do I do anything else? Maybe intimidate them a little
18:53
bit. You feel this metal against your
18:55
neck? That's a gun.
18:57
Don't move. Does that work?
19:00
That's perfect. Great.
19:02
One of the guys at the back of the train panicked and he moves
19:06
to the back of the vehicle and hides behind a chair.
19:09
Fuck, don't hurt me. You're all right.
19:11
We're not here for you. Oh, what's going on?
19:13
And one of the guys actually walks forward and starts to
19:16
watch the fight from afar. Cool, it's.
19:18
Cool. Yeah, you never see.
19:20
I mean, you never get to see a fight up this close the city
19:23
normally. Please stay back.
19:25
Stay back. This is dangerous.
19:27
Can I? Can I take pictures?
19:30
Sure. Really.
19:32
Oh, I expected most people to say no.
19:34
Cool. I'll take evidence of this
19:35
fight. Of these gangers attacking
19:39
innocent people on the train? Yeah, you should.
19:43
Yeah, that's right. This is this is an atrocity.
19:46
Show that the maelstrom are causing problems.
19:50
We're causing problems. Publicly embarrassing.
19:55
We're a problem for. You you should be embarrassed.
19:59
I kind of hate this guy. It's your turn.
20:03
Oh, I'm I. Thought you were narratively
20:06
doing stuff too. Busy talking.
20:07
Shit, yes, I will get out of my seat finally and walk over and
20:18
you know I'm going to swing this guy in the face with my bat.
20:22
Sweet. Well, I rolled to hit them and I
20:24
rolled well, but my damage not so well all.
20:27
Right. Well, they get to roll evasion,
20:29
so we'll see 16 Not enough. And you hit them in the side of
20:35
the body with a baseball bat. 7 damage minus their armor, which
20:40
is not a lot. Yeah, sucks, doesn't it?
20:48
Yeah, maybe. You should sucks at.
20:50
Least three months, right? Man, I told you.
20:53
I told you not to not to fuck with Iona, and you did it.
20:56
I don't want to tell you. Wow, fuck, that's.
20:59
Winning the baseball bat. Again, I rolled it.
21:01
I only rolled it two. You hit him for 14 damage.
21:04
This. Time much better.
21:07
Yeah. Hurts, doesn't it?
21:09
Sorry, but I don't know why I'm saying sorry to you.
21:16
That's below half health. Oh no, look at this person who's
21:21
attacking us, I say to the camera.
21:24
You. Yeah.
21:25
He puts his hand out and you smack his hand so hard it clicks
21:29
off at the wrist and he fucking loses it as it skirts across the
21:34
whole of the train car and slides in front of the guy who
21:37
was taking photographs. And he starts taking pictures of
21:41
this like hand on the IT is a cyber tech hand but you have
21:45
removed dismembered hand. The dismembered hand is gone.
21:49
They drop any items in their hand immediately and their base
21:53
save death penalty is increased by 1.
21:55
To fix this is a surgery DV 17. You know this as a medical
21:59
expert and you know it's going to be expensive and timely to
22:02
get that thing back on with how you ripped it off with a fucking
22:05
baseball bat. That's rough for you, my friend.
22:10
I can tell you that is not going to be easy to get back on and
22:15
it's going to be expensive. Yeah, you maelstrom.
22:19
You know, if you weren't so bogged up.
22:22
Whoa. You know.
22:24
Maybe you wouldn't have any problems.
22:28
Yeah, I mean they're more machine than they are person,
22:31
so. Yeah, but we're really going to
22:33
use the B word like that. That's.
22:36
What? They are really.
22:38
OK, You know what? Fine.
22:41
No, I agree. You should embarrass them, baby.
22:43
You. Have you used all your movement?
22:47
You've used most of it. Cool.
22:48
Do you want to this is the end of the turn?
22:49
Do you want to move away? Yeah, I'll make a step that away
22:53
from them. Vivi, you step slightly away
22:55
from this guy as he stares at his now stump of an arm.
23:02
All right. A missing hand guy.
23:05
Don't worry. Don't worry.
23:07
This will be over soon. And I I have Black Gladden as as
23:12
we say in the biz. You pull your gun out and you
23:14
point it at him at fairly close range on a.
23:17
Train. You are 10 feet away from this
23:19
guy. We're not allowed to shoot on
23:21
tries. Do you know how loud that's
23:23
going to be? The bullet could maybe also
23:25
ricochet and fly over. He's already said it.
23:27
He's already. Pulled the trigger.
23:28
Listen, guns are always. I know, right?
23:30
I have tinnitus. Had it since I was a kid.
23:34
Been shooting Grand Pappy's guns ever since he was still alive.
23:38
God rest his soul. Which makes sense why Jeff
23:40
didn't hear you say that as they cocked the trigger back and
23:43
fire. As I blad blad him.
23:45
Two shots, a 25 and a 26. This person's this person's
23:50
reflex is not above 8, so both of those hit them.
23:53
Since they are only 10 feet away, you hit them for 9 damage
23:57
and then you hit them for 15 damage.
24:00
And in the process of shooting them twice, you kill them dead
24:03
and they fall. Yes.
24:05
Yep. Told you.
24:07
Told you. All right, We don't have to do
24:11
this anymore. I I would prefer we not kill
24:16
these gangers. You wait your turn.
24:20
Whoa, this. 1. Yeah.
24:23
Well, it's a good thing. It's still our turn.
24:25
Go ahead, Retro. That's good music, yeah.
24:34
Retro, it's your turn. Retro.
24:37
What? What's?
24:37
What's going on? Why are you guys interrupting?
24:39
We're in a fight, Retro. It's your turn.
24:42
Fuck, God damn it. Who are we fighting?
24:44
Nelstrom. These fucking LED heads.
24:47
Yes. Yeah.
24:49
All right, hold on. Let's see here 4.
24:54
I'm going to move the four defeat.
24:59
What is that guy right here that's right in front of me?
25:03
He's looking, well, pretty dumb looking.
25:08
Hey man, I'm I'm just, you know, I don't really want to do
25:13
anything, but like, I'm just going to give you to the count
25:15
of two to just sit down and shut the fuck up.
25:18
He flips you off. All right.
25:21
And then I shoot his finger. What?
25:23
Fuck you, is. That a name shock.
25:25
Yeah. Oh, OK, so that's no fucking
25:31
way. What happened?
25:34
He did an aim shot. That's minus 88765, which means
25:39
he rolled A-15 with this 23. Retro, shoots the tip of this
25:44
guy's finger off, shoots him in the hand, causing 14 damage.
25:50
And that guy's finger, the top two links of it are gone.
25:54
You can still use his hand. There's just one finger, But he
25:56
is now missing a finger because you shot it and you made the aim
26:00
shot. Wow.
26:03
Yeah, why don't you get a piece of metal and shove that on there
26:05
for you? Fuck you.
26:14
They. Are if I had two, if I had two
26:16
rounds of fire on this, I'd shoot that other one off.
26:18
Oh, you guys. Fuck you.
26:20
Big words come from the from the guy who just lost a friend and a
26:26
finger. Is that the end of your turn,
26:28
retro? I would like to hold the rest of
26:33
my turn for a certain event. Sure.
26:36
The boss of this crew finally gets his turn and he looks at
26:41
Jeb. Cowboy Yep.
26:44
After killing his dear friend, fuck and shoots you with his
26:49
gun. Take this.
26:50
Jeb beat of 13, that's what it's compliant towards you.
26:54
Sure thought. 20 watts. Nothing.
26:57
Then do it. The bullets fly past you.
26:59
He has a red fire one with that gun and they zoom past your head
27:02
and fly behind you. I now have to roll for the
27:05
person directly behind you taking photos.
27:08
Oh shit. Hey, sorry buddy, I didn't know.
27:12
He did not roll high enough. He also doesn't have a reflux
27:15
above 8, so he does get hit for 19 damage and that guy only has
27:21
20 health, so he is now on the ground.
27:27
He has very little health and he has.
27:31
Yeah, yeah, I did tell him to stand back.
27:34
The dismembered Cybertek hand on the ground gets hit with an
27:38
errant bullet from the assault rifle and shoves itself into his
27:41
stomach, and he is now bleeding with half a hand sticking out of
27:44
it. Oh.
27:48
Hey, just smile. That's definitely not.
27:53
I mean, that's not on me. I just dodged the bullet.
27:55
OK? You don't don't get mad at me.
27:57
That's all I'm saying. Don't.
27:58
Oh God, at. Least this fight is funny.
28:05
My endless guess sucks. You suck.
28:08
He takes a few steps forward. Well, you.
28:10
Suck and he shoves the the dead maelstrom guy onto one of the
28:13
chairs so he can look directly at you, he says.
28:16
One less to pay. When I steal that heart, I'm
28:19
going to be a fucking rich man. Oh.
28:23
Wait, what? What?
28:26
No, no, no. It was more of a realisation
28:30
that we may be aligned in some ways.
28:34
One of the maelstrom scathers on this train looks at VV I've.
28:39
Got a baseball bat 2 beat this. Beat in 18, not enough.
28:45
You get hit in the side for 17 damage minus your armor.
28:50
Oh, OK. Ow, owie.
28:54
Owie. At least you must.
28:57
Be really hard if that's. How you say OW?
29:01
I really hate this guy. I am.
29:04
That's a. Good thing I have two attacks.
29:08
Get what? B at 17.
29:11
I'm going to put 2 lock points into this one.
29:17
True. You.
29:17
You meet, you meet, and you glance his baseball bat off with
29:22
your own and it makes a cool, like, sword fighting noise,
29:26
Yeah. I guess is it wooden or a metal
29:28
baseball? Bat They're both metal.
29:29
OK. So it does go to chain, yeah.
29:31
You were saying? Yeah, I didn't think so.
29:36
The other Maelstrom goon comes over to Iona and tries to hit
29:40
Iona with a baseball bat. BF 15.
29:44
You dodged the first shot. Oh fuck I.
29:46
Didn't know Colbert could move. It.
29:51
Is your perception. Of corpus.
29:55
That's a crit 20. That was a 19 + 1 roll evasion.
30:00
If you can. Beat 20.
30:02
I'm just going to take the hit like a champ.
30:05
Oh, all right. And he smacks you in the body
30:09
because he didn't call a shot on your head and you take 8 damage.
30:13
Still hurts. Yeah, listen, if you want to
30:18
hurt us, you're going to have to try harder than that.
30:20
But I advise you not to, and I pull out my gun and point it at
30:26
this person's stomach. Do you press it against the
30:29
stomach or do you take a step back?
30:31
Oh, wow. OK, I get in closer.
30:33
Oh, shit. All right, roll for him.
30:37
For what? Are you going to shoot him?
30:39
No, you're. Just trying to try and
30:42
intimidate. You're going to shoot a gun on a
30:43
train? I'm not a maniac.
30:46
You're not Chad it? Was so bad.
30:48
Listen, listen, if you could, I'm pointing the gun directly at
30:53
them, pressing it pretty heftily into their stomach.
30:58
I'm just. Heftily.
31:01
I know. I really wish that your boss
31:04
hadn't moved, because this should be him on the other end
31:06
of my gun. What is your name?
31:11
I'm talking to the boss. My.
31:12
Name is Joe. Oh, good.
31:14
I'm glad that you just gave us your name.
31:16
This is really good. Opsec does.
31:20
It. Matter, since you know it does
31:22
because I'm going to use, you use.
31:24
Me. I don't think so.
31:27
We want the same thing. We do.
31:30
We want the same. Thing all right.
31:32
We do, we do, and I think we can help each other roll.
31:36
Persuasion. I would love to roll Persuasion.
31:41
This is your turn in combat. That's what you want to do.
31:44
That's. What I'm doing, that's what I
31:46
want to do. I'm going to fuck fuck it.
31:49
I'm going to use lock try to take two lock.
31:53
Get crazy. Get crazy with 2022.
32:00
Oh, I just wrote very high. Oh no.
32:05
I just wrote very, very high. Oh dear.
32:08
Please I used. Luck.
32:10
No. I know, I know, I know.
32:12
I just. I just rolled a nine.
32:13
So I'm having a look at his stats, 171717 that is A7.
32:17
Holy shit, OK. Don't you?
32:20
Don't you still have an inspiration?
32:21
I do, but I'm going to wait to see the result and.
32:26
Then they have a higher persuasion than you base 14 + 9.
32:33
What? Base 14 + 9 seven cool 7
32:36
persuasion. 23 and I got 22. Yep.
32:42
Motherfucker they're. Also like Ganger, so the the the
32:47
likely. This makes sense to me.
32:48
The likelihood of them wanting to join you randomly meeting you
32:50
on a train is very low. But I'm trying to be so
32:53
intimidating. You are being intimidating.
32:55
It's close enough that he he is far away from you and you have
32:58
intimidated this one guy in front of you.
33:00
You've got a gun in his, in his, in his stomach.
33:03
But the dice said no. That's fine.
33:08
That's fine. So what does he say?
33:10
I'm not here to work for Corpus. I'm here to take your shits and
33:15
then charge someone else too much for it and make a fucking
33:19
fortune. Well, if I include you
33:20
motherfuckers, I've got to cut in five bastards.
33:24
I got. I got proposal.
33:26
Hi. You might know me.
33:27
I'm. I'm Jeb.
33:29
World renowned. Or at least city renowned.
33:32
Racer. Notoriously cash flush.
33:38
And if you steal with the heart for us, I will pay you double
33:44
what whatever mail strim he's offering.
33:47
I already failed on persuasion, my guy.
33:50
If you want to do that, you have to where you turn.
33:52
Well, that's there. Carry on.
33:55
Ayanna, do you do anything else with your turn?
34:00
Can I elbow this guy in the face?
34:03
This is. Front of me.
34:04
Rob Brawling, OK? Fuck.
34:07
Embarrassing. You, you very much miss.
34:09
I'm going to have them roll evasion just in case.
34:13
Yep, they beat that. They dodge, and they managed to
34:17
step back from having the gun pressed into their stomach Dick.
34:25
All right. Vendel is grabbing on to this
34:27
maelstrom scabber, holding them from behind, and they try and
34:32
struggle free. They're all A2, so unless you
34:35
roll A1 they get away. I'm sorry if you roll the one,
34:38
they get away everything else and they stay stuck.
34:43
Oh amazing. Yeah, Bendel holds on for an 18.
34:46
Don't. You fucking dare.
34:46
Get off me. Fuck.
34:48
One of the other passengers at the back of the train starts to
34:51
panic with all the blood and runs back towards the back
34:54
hiding behind some of the chairs.
34:56
Oh God, please don't hurt me. I don't want to get shot like
34:58
that guy hand in his stomach. Oh.
35:01
God, I've got like 1 HP like fuck.
35:04
No. Then it's the guy who's dead,
35:06
and everyone just looks at him. He's just dead.
35:08
Sitting in a chair with a hand missing, huh?
35:11
Yeah, and. Then it's Vendel's turn.
35:13
Vendel's just going to keep holding on and what do you?
35:15
Want me to hurt him? I could.
35:17
No. To punch him for being a Dick.
35:20
It's a body we can use. I mean, I guess.
35:23
I mean, just because the boss doesn't want to join us, doesn't
35:27
mean that if we don't kill the boss that they have anywhere to
35:29
go, right? But I could shoot someone else.
35:32
Oh sure, do you want to shoot the boss?
35:33
Yeah, Yeah, Joe. Yeah.
35:36
I get to shoot you now because my boss said yes.
35:39
Wouldn't wouldn't that be fun? Wouldn't that?
35:41
Doesn't that sound just? Lovely.
35:43
They can only shoot once because they have to hold on to this
35:45
guy. It's OK.
35:46
It's only got to write a fire at one anyway.
35:48
Oh my fucking God. They They miss I.
35:51
Don't play this game anymore, guys.
35:53
Oh, he. Seriously, Wendell?
35:55
Wendell rolls a crit fail -6 and instead of shooting Joe, they
36:01
blow this guy's ear off in front of them.
36:04
Oh my. God.
36:07
Which you can imagine may de incentivize them from working
36:10
with you. And that person takes 16 damage.
36:14
They also go below half health and been hit in the head.
36:19
And this guy, the ringing in his ear, you watch his eyes roll
36:23
into his back and he faints in Bell's Vendel's arms a little
36:26
bit and then comes back and it looks like he's got a pretty bad
36:28
concussion. -2 to all actions paramedic DV13.
36:36
Vandal. Sorry.
36:38
Fuck, he's just really close and kind of a Dick.
36:41
There's a guy at the back who screams at the sound of the gun
36:43
shop. The man with the hand sticking
36:46
out of his chest continues to scream in the background.
36:51
I'm going to, I think I'm going to help that poor, that poor
36:54
guy. That poor guy.
36:55
Sounds like a good plan. That's right.
36:57
Yeah. Happily zoom.
37:04
This guy, this guy is moving. Oh, back there.
37:09
I'll be able to reach him. If you don't shoot and run to
37:12
him, you can actually do W movement.
37:14
OK. I will run to him.
37:16
All right, All right. You can like knee slide and try
37:18
and help him. OK, all right, all right.
37:21
Let me let me help you real quick and I'm going to try to
37:23
get the hand out of him and cauterize the wound.
37:29
I guess sounds good. Be aware that you are be aware
37:31
if you fail this, he will die. Here's more.
37:34
Why? You know he's gonna die anyway.
37:36
Just remember that. Ignore it.
37:39
I just rolled. Bribery.
37:40
That was a misflick. Someone's nervous?
37:42
No. No, you're just gonna you're
37:44
just gonna convince him with money to get better?
37:47
Here's a few idiots. All right, this is as I this is
37:51
really bad. Just just to hold still, this is
37:57
this you're we're going to patch you up.
37:59
You're going to be OK. I.
38:01
Took some great photos. You're older than 18.
38:05
And you pull the hand out, and then with your other hand, you
38:07
just very quickly cauterize him and then smack a Med pack on his
38:11
chest. You roll tight enough that it
38:12
only cost you about 50 eddies in terms of materials, which is
38:16
pretty great. But you stabilize him and get to
38:19
give him because you're stabilizing just one D6 in a
38:23
fight. HP five.
38:26
Holy crap, yeah, you do a really good job.
38:28
There's two very good roles. You're.
38:30
Going to be all right, buddy? And next time, when a doctor
38:32
tells you to get out of the way, get out of the way, OK?
38:36
You help me get into this chair so I've got something to cover.
38:40
Yep. Yeah, and you push him into a
38:42
chair which is behind a part of the bulkhead, so he now cannot
38:45
see the fight. But he also probably can't get
38:47
shot either. Nice, Jeb.
38:49
Well, there's really only thing that can be done of the
38:53
situation like this. And Mr. Boss Man.
38:56
Mr. Boss Man. Yes, great.
38:59
I just wanted to take a look over here and see who's going to
39:02
shoot you twice. It's it's me.
39:05
Oh. We'll suit you once and at
39:08
least. One bullet goes errand.
39:10
It does fly across the room. You rolled high enough that you
39:13
don't accidentally shoot Iona. You do however, break one of the
39:15
vending machines at the end of the groom and it ceases to
39:18
function. Will break or open.
39:21
It fizzles and everything inside gets filled with safety foam and
39:24
is ruined. You're on a crypto don't get
39:26
anything fuck from the fire suppression system because it's
39:29
on a vehicle. You are the bullet.
39:31
However it does hit him. He doesn't have a Reflex of over
39:34
8, so he doesn't get to dodge this and you cause 9 damage.
39:38
Nice. Nice.
39:39
You know, I feel like it's it's very appropriate for a cyberpunk
39:43
vending machine to destroy the product as opposed.
39:48
At. Any point that in instead it
39:50
might be stolen. Instead it's just let's just
39:52
destroy it. Like if if you're not going to
39:54
pay us for it, then we're going to just lose money but also
39:59
destroy the product, yeah. Right.
40:02
Do you do anything with your turn?
40:03
Anything else with your turn? No.
40:05
Ever Enroll Athletics? So since you're saying that this
40:08
is the meant, this is the event I was looking for, all right,
40:12
right. And I was wanting to use the
40:13
rest of my turn to help use that forward momentum to get towards
40:16
here and help use the forward momentum of the train to help me
40:19
slide across towards the boss. OK.
40:24
Are you shooting as you do that? No, what I'm doing is I'm
40:27
sliding with my dominant foot, right foot up and kicking him in
40:33
the testicle area and then using the momentum of my leg as he's
40:38
falling down to lift myself up, crushing his testicles with my
40:42
boot as they come down. Sounds like an aim shot to me.
40:45
Good luck. I'll put three points of luck
40:47
into that. Everyone rolled high enough on
40:50
Athletics and you don't lose your footing.
40:52
I. Call brawling.
40:54
Nico brawling. I'm kicking him in the balls.
40:56
Yeah, works for me. 19 + 3, right?
41:00
And that's minus. Remember, he's got a higher
41:03
vision. Be 14.
41:05
He rolls. He rolls in 11.
41:08
Well, I have above 11 because I have 14.
41:11
You have 14? Well then.
41:12
Remember I put three points of luck into that.
41:14
Yes, you. Did he?
41:16
He did not roll high enough. Right, so I use the form of
41:19
momentum of the train, slide across, kick him in the
41:22
testicles, use the momentum of him falling over to propel
41:26
myself up, crushing his testicles at the same time under
41:29
my boot, lifting my rifle up to his face and whisper to him,
41:35
suck on this and then fire right and directly into his face.
41:39
Oh. His bitch.
41:43
Heavy melee weapon is oh, I'm gonna attack melee weapon.
41:48
I think that's what 3D6? I think VV you have a heavy
41:52
melee weapon, right? Is it a heavy?
41:57
I don't think it's heavy A. Very heavy pistol.
42:00
No, the melee weapon. Sorry.
42:01
The Media Melee. Yes, media.
42:05
Yeah, heavy kicking. Some of the balls IS3D6, I've
42:08
decided. OK, 3D6.
42:13
Oh, that's a six. And that's 11 damage to this guy
42:17
right in the nuts. You rolled well enough that it
42:19
goes past his armor. You managed to avoid that by
42:22
kicking in the nuts, because you did all of that business.
42:24
That's good. The one place that they didn't
42:26
Chrome up. And then you shoot him, correct?
42:30
Yeah, directly in the face. Cool roll for it.
42:39
That's not very. Good.
42:39
I'm going to use my point of inspiration.
42:41
Fuck off. I put too much cool into this.
42:45
I got a. 24 Yes, he does not have an evasion.
42:48
You are literally point blank. You shoot him in the head, even
42:52
as an aim shot that is high, causing 15 damage to his head,
42:59
causing a critical injury to his head.
43:02
Or does he get a critical injury to his nuts too?
43:04
Since I. No, because it wasn't a crit and
43:06
he didn't go below it. Was an aim shot.
43:08
It was an aim shot, but he doesn't know he gets.
43:11
He got more damage and then OK, cool, that's the wrong one.
43:15
I need another. All right, you crack one of his
43:20
cyber eyes, you kick him in the nuts and you caused 15 damage.
43:31
Yeah, he is now on the ground. He's got whiplash, but he also
43:35
now has lost an eye, so he's got -4 to all ranged attacks.
43:40
Sucks for him. And it's his turn, and he looks
43:47
at you and tries to shoot you, rolling a nine.
43:50
He misses. Whoa, easy, buddy.
43:53
What are you getting so angry about?
43:57
You. Motherfucker.
43:58
For you, you shot us in general. One of the other maelstrom who's
44:03
right next to you, Retro tries to hit you with his baseball
44:07
bat. Roll.
44:08
Evasion. Beaten 18.
44:09
Oh. No, no.
44:12
You get hit for 11 damage and it hurts.
44:16
Oh. Man.
44:17
And I just put more pressure on my foot.
44:19
That's crushing his ball sack. And I'm going to roll 1D four,
44:24
see if he gets any more damage. He takes one more damage.
44:29
I cut the tip on that one. And then another he the a guy
44:33
tries to swing the baseball bat at you.
44:36
The train moves ever slightly, not causing anyone else to
44:38
jostle, but enough for his baseball bat to fly out of his
44:40
hand and fly across the room and land next to the the maelstrom
44:45
scabber. Who's looking at Iona?
44:49
Fuck. Shit swinging a miss on that
44:52
one, bud. That's that guy's turn.
44:55
He looks at Iona, pulls out his pistol.
44:58
Fuck you and shoots you. Fuck you.
45:01
Hitting you for 10 damage that. Fucking sucks.
45:07
I really shouldn't have done that.
45:09
Again. Rolling a crit.
45:11
Success, he calls his five damage.
45:13
Fuck out. Out.
45:19
Not my shoulder. Yeah, he shot you in the
45:22
shoulder. Breton scar that you hate.
45:25
I really didn't want to have to do this.
45:28
I pull out my room where IP edition handgun and I shoot
45:32
What? Fuck you.
45:35
Shoot him for 12 damage, running a six and A1 and A5.
45:38
Nice. How about another one?
45:40
What? No another one.
45:44
You shoot him for seven damage, causing him to go under half
45:49
health. He also takes a body injury
45:52
dismembered leg. You've shot through the tendon
45:56
near his hip and his left leg goes limp and tears slightly off
46:00
and gets the Cybertek starts sparking and he falls to the
46:02
ground. Yeah, it hurts, doesn't it?
46:09
Yes. We don't have to do this.
46:15
The guy who's struggling to get out of Vendel's grass but rolled
46:18
A1. Man, this dice sucks.
46:20
Rolled A1 and like actively sprains his own ankle trying to
46:25
get out of this grasp and causes himself three damage.
46:30
Oh. Fuck, that's me.
46:31
That's me being dumb. That guy's having a bad day.
46:36
Yeah, he's not doing too great. Vendel tightens their grip.
46:40
Yeah, that's right. Take that bitch.
46:41
It's my turn. I should shoot Joe, right?
46:44
That guy sucks. We should kill him.
46:46
Yeah, definitely. OK.
46:48
Hey Joe. Fuck you.
46:49
And Vendel tries to shoot Joe. Oh.
46:51
My God. Crit failed.
46:53
Oh my God. It's the guy that they're
46:55
grappling again now. Now the other ear.
46:58
They tried to shoot with the other hand, failing miserably,
47:00
causing this guy 14 damage, and they blow a hole through his
47:03
head because that's more damage than he has.
47:05
And now Vendel's just holding a dead guy.
47:08
You can you can drop him, It's all right.
47:10
Oh shit. Fuck.
47:11
Sorry. Sorry everyone.
47:13
I didn't. I actually didn't mean to.
47:14
That was my bad, I know. Drops him to the ground.
47:19
Does that kind of a red of fire of two?
47:21
No. Yeah.
47:22
No, it doesn't. You're also holding a guy, so.
47:25
No, not anymore. He's dead.
47:26
I dropped him on the ground. He's right there.
47:27
See. No, no, it's just one.
47:29
OK. And some of the people at the
47:31
back of the car move around and it's Phoebe's turn.
47:34
Do I see anybody from where I am that's still alive that I can
47:38
maybe shoot? Yeah, you'd be up to.
47:41
Yeah, you can see that it's far. You'd probably want to move
47:44
back. Yeah, I'll move 1/2. 30 feet
47:48
there you. Go.
47:49
All right. I'll take a I'll take a shot.
47:52
Yes, with my Sanru. Hello, cutie.
47:55
Ultra K8 Assault pistol. I take a shot.
47:58
And you cause a crit 25 causing 10 damage to this guy.
48:05
Let's. Take the.
48:07
Hit. Plus.
48:10
More damage. Taking him under half health,
48:13
causing him to take a body injury.
48:17
You break his leg, he now has -4 to move.
48:21
Oh shit. Oh.
48:24
Thank God you're going to shoot me once.
48:27
Wait, no. That's.
48:29
That's how. Cute, isn't it?
48:32
It is Oh. Fuck.
48:34
And as he says, fuck. I'm assuming you pull the
48:36
trigger. Yep, hitting him for eight
48:39
damage. That guy is very worse for wear
48:43
and is almost dead. It's not going to last too much
48:49
longer. Listen, I told you, I told you
48:53
and I'm. I'm going to go ahead and finish
48:54
you off. Don't worry about it.
48:56
We'll be quick and finals. Bye bye are.
48:58
You shooting the guy who was just shot?
48:59
Yeah, yeah, I'm finishing him off.
49:00
OK, yes, your first shot finishes him off.
49:03
Ah well, the second one. Hey big boss, it's coming at
49:06
you. What?
49:07
That's fine. That's 26.
49:10
So here's The funny thing. Including armor and stuff, he
49:14
only has seven health left, so he dies.
49:17
Yep, there it is. There's a 2 Fer.
49:20
And there's only one Maelstrom Scava left and he has broken leg
49:24
and he's lying on the ground in front of Iona and I'm going to
49:27
take that as combat being over. Here, you want to get out of
49:30
here. You want to take.
49:31
The next stop is this. Oh, oh, look at that.
49:33
Is this your stop? Oh man, that felt like the
49:38
longest train ride of my life. It was only like 18 seconds.
49:47
Give or take. Oh, I robbed Joe.
49:49
Feel free, Vivi, could you could you patch me up while we?
49:55
Yes. I guess throw this guy off the
49:57
train. Yeah, let me let me take a look.
50:02
Unless, unless you want to tell us what you were going to do,
50:06
steal. The thing was on the.
50:11
News. Yeah.
50:11
Did did you have did you have a plan?
50:14
Guns. All right.
50:15
Are. You checking out the window, He
50:19
flies into the distance and you hear him squelch on the tracks.
50:22
He hits the third rail and he gets filled with electricity and
50:25
his wailing screams as he dies echoes through the tunnel as you
50:30
disappear into the distance. The train comes to a stop and
50:34
you arrive at station 0. I didn't think it was going to
50:38
be this gruesome. I mean, if we're going anywhere,
50:42
there's going to be blood on the ground if I've ordered anything
50:45
magic. Too.
50:46
Hey, at least I can mark off defenestration on our bingo
50:49
card. Now what?
50:50
Was that word you just used? Defenestration.
50:53
What was that like? When you throw somebody through
50:55
a window, oh. You say this to Jeb.
50:57
As you step off the train onto this platform, the people in the
51:01
train look at you kind of unknowing as the doors close
51:05
behind you and the train leaves. Listen nice.
51:09
I hope they're OK, Phoebe, it was good of you to patch that
51:12
guy up. Oh yeah.
51:14
He was. He was pretty close to death
51:16
there. Yeah, he.
51:17
Could have died. Perhaps you?
51:19
I appreciate you that for that. Yeah.
51:22
Also, thank you for patching me up.
51:24
I got shot in the same fucking shoulder.
51:28
Well, in. The same spot.
51:31
Guess you're just unlucky. I might have to go to physical
51:34
therapy. That does help.
51:37
Well, Iona, you always love seeing sore tooth.
51:41
Right, Great. Next time on no latency.
51:57
We go shopping. Gisner snaps.
52:00
All right, let's check out the vending machines.
52:02
Those those are canonically sweet, right?
52:06
The important thing is I got this plushy but there are some
52:08
other useful things in here is. There a show off button it's.
52:11
Government mandated. Oh God, I don't know what the
52:13
hell you doing. I mean, I I think that it was
52:15
fantastic. My heart's racing right now.
52:18
I mean, I mean just. I'm here for the market.
52:21
We are. What?
52:22
Yeah, don't go to the one all the way at the far, right.
52:25
I blew that sucker up. Iona Popescu.
52:27
Oh no, Van Dale's the one with the robot.
52:29
Like I think they should do it. I mean, that doesn't make sense.
52:32
Staff doesn't knock. A lot of big suits here.
52:34
Retro I would. Love a Chiz Narea.
52:36
Nice. Green Glow Martini.
52:39
I feel a little out of my element being so fancy.
52:41
I am satisfied. Oh oh shit, I missed the last
52:44
like 30 minutes of the string. Jeb, can you read lips?
52:47
Yeah, I would like to just examine this dead body,
52:49
basically the message I relay. Is that I think you can get in
52:51
through the bathroom. All right, hopefully you nobody
52:54
heard that. Thank you for joining us on our
53:25
adventure once again here at No Latency.
53:29
Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at No Latency Pod, check
53:33
out our website at nolatencypodcast.com.
53:36
And if you'd like to support us further, we have a Patreon get
53:40
exclusive content, spin offs, bonus episodes, bloopers ad free
53:43
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53:47
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53:51
at home, no matter what level your support.
53:55
Thank you again so much for listening.
53:57
We literally couldn't do this without you.
53:59
And of course, we'll see you next time in Night City.
54:05
Thanks for listening, Jim.