Latest / Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community / Backstage Pass to Trauma Care | Stacey on Presence and Persistence

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Backstage Pass to Trauma Care | Stacey on Presence and Persistence · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

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  Welcome to a special edition of Journey with Care, part of our summer Speedo
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  series. These are quick, honest conversations designed for long
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  walks, slow mornings, or stolen moments of peace in the middle of a
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  busy season. Today's episode takes a slight detour from our
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  usual format. I'm handing the mic over to Tim. He's our lead trauma
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  care trainer at Care Impact. But more than that, Tim brings deep
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  compassion, lived experience, and a gift for creating space for
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  real conversation. Tim sits down with someone he knows not just as
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  a colleague, but as a fellow traveler on the road to learning how to care
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  well in the midst of real life messiness. Her name is
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  Stacy. She's a mom, an educational assistant, and a
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  quietly courageous presence here in the Winnipeg community.
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  Without giving away too much, I'll just say this, Stacy's story is
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  not about having all the answers, it's about showing up anyway.
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  Let's listen in.
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  Stacy, it's so great to have you on the podcast with us this morning. And
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  I have the privilege of knowing you and a little bit about your life because
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  we work in team together, but we do want our listeners to get to know
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  you a tiny bit. So first, would you just tell us what gave you a
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  spark of joy this weekend? This weekend? Oh, I had a
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  very spontaneous organic invitation. My my family,
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  they were just last minute invited over to some dear friends of ours, to
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  their house. And we just brought some subway over, and we just hung out in
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  their backyard. And our dogs played together, and the kids all hung out. And it
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  was just really beautiful. It was the best way to end the weekend. So that
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  definitely sparked joy for me this weekend. So good. And this time of
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  year, we're in spring right now. Our listeners are probably already in
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  summer when they're hearing this. But, would you give our listeners also
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  just a a little snapshot of who you are, a little bit about yourself,
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  where you live, things you love to do, and what your day to day life
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  looks like. Sure. Yes. Well, I am wife and
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  mom of two teenagers. I live in Winnipeg,
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  Manitoba, Canada. I'm originally from Alberta, and my
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  family moved out here when my son was just six weeks old. So I've now
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  been here for fifteen years, and I love Winnipeg. It has definitely
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  become home for me. I work as a, educational
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  assistant in the inner city of Winnipeg, specifically
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  with a student with disabilities. And so, yes, just the nature
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  of the other students that I work with, it's a very high needs area of
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  Winnipeg. And so it's it's a very rewarding place to be in.
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  I I really enjoy it. Beautiful. Lots of challenge, lots of reward is, I
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  guess, how it goes, isn't it? Yes. Absolutely. Beautiful. Can you share a
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  little bit about your journey in understanding trauma? What first opened your eyes
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  to to learning more? I think it was a a marriage
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  of trying to piece together my own
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  history and people that I've loved along the way that I've
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  known about their stories and the trauma they've walked through and how it's
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  impacted them. And of course, when you're in a relationship
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  with people, friendships with people who have trauma, you're affected
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  too. That's that's kinda just the reality. And it was also
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  maybe the more pressing need was when I began working in the
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  job that I am in the location that I am. I very quickly
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  realized that a lot of the behavioral issues that were coming up,
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  a lot of the challenges, I didn't really know
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  much about trauma, but I just kinda had a gut feeling. You know, this sort
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  of feels like it's more than just kids choosing to be
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  bad. Right? And that's sometimes the lens that, it's easy to
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  look through maybe, if you don't understand how complex
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  trauma can be. And so as I as I started to
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  realize the reality and and the fact that my job,
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  I I work very one on one with these kids in particular.
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  I realized I needed to learn more and and just become more educated
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  just for myself personally, but also for my
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  daily interactions with these kids that I work with. So
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  several people in my life had just kind of casually mentioned
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  Care Impact along the way. And I hadn't really thought too much about it in
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  those moments. But then I was just searching one
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  day, Googling, you know, just different training opportunities.
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  And Care Impact came up and I remembered, you know,
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  some conversations I'd had in the past. The light bulb went on, and I
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  realized, oh, they offer this trauma care training. I think that actually sounds
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  like exactly what I need. And so that's how I ended up
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  discovering Care Impact's trauma care training. And, yeah,
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  it was kind of word-of-mouth, but very indirectly, I
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  guess. I love how you describe that. A marriage kind of of recognizing
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  what you're carrying yourself and then also what so many people in your life are
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  carrying, not just in your workplace, although certainly there, but also just in your
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  friends and connections. And there's a lot of trauma, isn't there? And
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  so you took some training, and then you came back around and took some more
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  training. And now you're on the training team, and you've recently just gone through our
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  master class. As you think about that learning journey that
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  you've been on, through Care Impact, and beyond,
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  has there been a moment where something you've learned or realized help you approach
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  a situation or relationship differently? Yes.
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  A %. There have been many
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  opportunities to put what I've been learning into practice,
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  whether as a parent. I have teenagers, and and it's a
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  process of relearning what parenting looks like in this
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  season. Learning to put active listening
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  into practice, helping coregulate
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  the kids that I'm with, whether at home or at
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  school, has been, I think, one of the greatest tools actually is just
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  learning how much my presence makes a
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  difference for them and helps them to regulate their own emotions.
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  I used to have a problem. I probably still
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  do trying to fix things very quickly so that we could just stop those
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  big emotions from happening because they made me very uncomfortable, and I had a hard
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  time with my own big emotions. And so it was a struggle as
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  a parent for sure. And learning that letting those
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  emotions come out and actually just sitting and being present with
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  that person while they feel those emotions, helping
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  them articulate them and just not leaving their side,
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  but just allowing them to go through the process of of,
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  you know, just processing, and helping them
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  get to the other side. That's been, I think, probably one of the biggest
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  tools that I found so effective. Just
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  being present, coregulation, you know, connecting
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  before I correct them is huge. It's it's just been
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  a very life changing, approach to being with other
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  people in general, but certainly as a parent and certainly as a
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  NEA. I love that, Stacy. Thank you. The power of presence
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  and, as you said at the beginning, being present to yourself,
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  and what's going on inside you so that you can be present and let
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  those emotions come out. That's one of the hardest things for me too. I know.
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  Well, if someone, Stacy, is like was like you
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  were, some years ago, beginning to explore this idea of trauma and
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  trauma care, what encouragement would you offer them? What are some words that you might
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  be able to give? I would say that
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  it's not a course you can take
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  and check off a box and say that you now know about trauma.
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  I would say that even though I've taken the trauma care master
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  course twice now, I was actually surprised that
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  it actually impacted me just as much the second time as it did the
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  first time. And that I still had things that I needed to sort
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  through and and there was still things happening in
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  around me that required me to spend the
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  time thinking about trauma and how it affected other
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  people. And I don't know, Tim, it's just not something that you can
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  learn in a textbook and say that you know it. You know, it it's
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  something that you might actually have to review many, many times
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  and and just keep it fresh in your head, you know. And that's what
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  I really love about being part of Care Impact is that it keeps it
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  fresh in my head. I hear what different team
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  members and trainers say and we will talk
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  about experiences, you know, that come from different places,
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  whether people are in foster care, like dealing with the
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  foster care system or from teaching backgrounds or
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  parenting. And I guess trauma care is maybe just
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  an ongoing conversation that needs to happen and an
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  ongoing posture of continually learning. I feel like I'm
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  gonna probably have to take the trauma care master class, like, maybe 10
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  times before it really sinks in. I might, you know, I might just
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  have to keep showing up because I feel truly that every time I do show
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  up, I'm given something new to learn and to put into
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  practice. And it's just it takes a lot of time
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  to, you know, to relearn how to approach
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  difficult situations with myself and with others, and
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  just being patient in that process. That's what I would say is just be
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  patient and don't feel the pressure to have it be
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  an expert at it right away. It's just gonna take a lot of time. Thank
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  you for that encouragement, Stacy. Patience for the long game
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  because this is a long game, and don't do it alone is what I hear
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  from you. Mhmm. Get that equipping and be in that community that can continually
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  equip you because we're all in the in the journey anyways,
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  carrying hard things or carrying others who are carrying hard things. And Yeah. The
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  better we can come alongside each other and the more cooking we can have, the
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  better. Isn't it? Beautiful. Thank you, Stacy. It's just such a delight to have
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  you, for this little moment on our podcast. And bless you. I know in
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  this moment, you're heading back to work. And so, yeah, may
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  you be equipped with the patience and grace and everything you need, and,
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  have a wonderful rest of your day. Thank you for coming on the podcast. Wonderful.
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  Thank you so much for having me. It truly is a pleasure to talk about
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  this. I really do appreciate the opportunity. Thank you, Tim.
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  Thank you for joining us on Journey with Care. To get more information on
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  weekly episodes, upcoming opportunities, or to connect with our
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  community, visit journeywithcare.ca, or find Care Impact
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  on Facebook and Instagram. Or just check the show notes for these
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  links and all the links related to this episode. Share your
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  thoughts, leave us a message, and be part of a network of individuals journeying
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  in faith and purpose. Together, let's discover how we can make a
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  meaningful impact.