Latest / REZ CHURCH Podcast / Your Pain Isn't Pointless - October 5, 2025

Transcript

Your Pain Isn't Pointless - October 5, 2025 · REZ CHURCH Podcast

0:01
So my name is Justin Emanuel and I serve as the production
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director here. Thank you.
0:08
I need my movie buffs. Raise your hand if you know The
0:12
Karate Kid 1984, the original Ralph Macchio.
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Keep your hand raised if you think Daniel Larusso is the main
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hero. What if Daniel Larusso isn't the
0:28
hero? He's the problem.
0:31
What if everything you thought about The Karate Kid was
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backwards? Raise your hand if you've seen
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How I Met Your Mother and you know Neil Patrick Harris's
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character, Barney Stinson. Barney had a theory.
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He argues Johnny Lawrence, the blonde kid from Cobra Kai you
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thought was the villain, is the hero.
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Think from Barney's perspective, Daniel went after Johnny's
1:01
ex-girlfriend. Daniel went after Johnny's face
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and he got in his face at the beach.
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Daniel beat Johnny in the tournament with an illegal crane
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kick to the face. And Johnny, he's a high school
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kid trying to win back his girlfriend and defend his
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championship while dealing with the toxic coach.
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On the surface, Daniel's the hero, but from Barney's
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perspective, Daniel's the bully, and Johnny's the real Karate
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Kid. Same story, different
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perspective on the hero. And perspective changes
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everything. Right now, we're watching our
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lives from our perspective and from where we're sitting.
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When pain and suffering come, when we're in crisis, when life
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falls apart, the pain can seem pointless.
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I know, because in my suffering I thought it was meaningless,
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that I had to be the hero of my life and dig myself out of my
2:14
pain. But what if God is watching the
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exact same situation and seeing something completely different?
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Same story, different hero. People talk now about main
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character energy, right? That we're supposed to be the
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star of our own movie. There's a problem when we're the
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star. We have to fix everything.
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We have to bear the weight of everything.
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We have to make sense of everything.
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And the problem is that we can't.
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We're not the heroes of our story.
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We're the supporting character. And our pain, God uses it to
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write his story about our true main character, Jesus Christ.
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And that's our big idea. Your pain is God's pen.
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Write that down. Your pain is the pen in God's
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hands and he is a writing the story about his Son Jesus that
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you don't see yet. The pen doesn't control the
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story, the author does. Let me show you in John Chapter
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11. Picture this as we get there.
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Jesus is 3 years into his public ministry.
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He's got this motley crew of disciples, fishermen, tax
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collectors, nobodies. Think Master Splinter and the
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Teenage Mutant Ninja disciples. It's just and Jesus is
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performing miracle after miracle.
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That kind of power attracts opposition.
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In John 10, the religious leaders just tried to stone
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Jesus for trying to prove that he was God.
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So Jesus and the disciples went away to lay low.
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Now word reaches Jesus that Lazarus is sick.
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He's sick. And Bethany, the same place,
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they just tried to stone him. John Chapter 11, starting in
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verse one, continues the story. Now a certain man was ill,
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Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha.
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It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his
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feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill.
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So we have Lazarus, Mary and Martha.
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These are three siblings and they're friends of Jesus.
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Their house became a regular stopping point between Jerusalem
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and Jericho for Jesus and Lazarus.
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Is ill really ill? Growing up, did you have someone
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in your house that always had a cure all?
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Mom, grandma, what was it for you?
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Was it ginger ale? Was it rub some dirt on it, walk
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it off? Was it Big Fat Greek Wedding and
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spray some Windex on it? Put some Windex on it.
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Was it Vicks? That magical blue tub that
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somehow cured everything from the common cold to a broken
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heart? What was it?
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I'm sorry, grandma. There's no amount of Vicks
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that's going to make Lazarus better.
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He's on the edge of death, powerless, No strength left.
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Every family remedy has failed and the physicians treatments
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have run their course. This is a crisis and in their
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crisis verse 3 tells us so. The sisters sent to him saying,
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Lord, he whom you love is ill. They knew they couldn't do
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anything about it, but they knew Jesus could.
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Jesus responds in verse 4. This illness does not lead to
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death. It is for the glory of God so
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that the Son of God may be glorified through it.
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Jesus sees the same situation differently.
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Mary and Martha saw crisis. Jesus saw an opportunity to
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bring glory. This brings us to our first
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shift. Write this down.
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Your crisis is God's platform. What we see is crisis.
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God sees as a platform for His power and His glory.
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So your crisis isn't meant to destroy you.
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It's meant to set the stage for God's power to be shown, but
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it's only how you respond to your pain.
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So I've been watching this show about vampires called What We Do
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in the Shadows. And in there there's this
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character, Evie Russell. She's an emotional vampire.
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She feeds off of pity and sympathy.
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She generates conversations that talk about nothing but her pain,
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and her goal is to keep the sympathy going so she can gorge
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herself. And as I'm watching this show
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and thinking about things, I realized something that was me
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and my pain. That I am a recovering emotional
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vampire. As an emotional vampire,
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everything became about my pain. Many of you experienced this
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with me in the breezeway. You'd come up happy to talk, and
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then within 60 seconds I made it about me.
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I made it about how my ADHD messed my week up, how I failed
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because of my OCD. I see your faces and they drain
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and you would be exhausted because I would take every
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conversation and make it about me and my pain and my problems.
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As an emotional vampire, I fed on sympathy, not solutions, Man,
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when someone said I'm so sorry, I don't know how you're going
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through with going through it, man, it was this rush.
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It's like finally someone understands me.
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I became addicted to the validation.
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And when sympathy dried up, I'd find a new crisis to keep the
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pity supply flowing because if I got better, I'd be normal
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Justin. And normal Justin didn't get
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that kind of attention. As an emotional vampire, my pain
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became my identity. I used my disorders as a get out
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of jail free card. Oh, I can't do this because of
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my ADHD. I'm going to fail.
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Because my OCDI wasn't managing my conditions.
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I was hiding behind them. I was using them as a shield
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against responsibility. I wore my pain like a badge.
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Many of you I introduced myself as hi, I'm Justin.
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I have ADHD and OCD. So if I mess up that's OK,
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right? I wasn't Justin, follower of
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Jesus, loved by God. How is Justin the guy with
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disorders and problems? And I was comfortable there.
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See, if people expected me to struggle, that I wouldn't be
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responsible for getting better as an emotional vampire, I
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drained everyone around me. Emotional vampires don't just
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feed on sympathy, they drain the people they love.
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In therapy this year, I had this mental picture of a train
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passing by. And in the window window was my
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pastors, my friends, the staff here, family back home.
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And I realized two things. These are people who loved me
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dearly, and I was the jerk who dumped on every single one of
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them. People stopped asking how I was
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doing, not because they didn't care, but because they'd leave a
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conversation with me exhausted. I even drained myself.
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I'd hear myself complaining and as I'm saying the words in my
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head, I'm going. I don't even want to listen to
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me right now. Then my mentorship group sat me
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down. I said, Justin, we, we love you.
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You become exhausting. Every conversation circles back
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to your pain. You're not looking for help,
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you're looking for an audience. You're putting on a show and
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it's leaving everyone around you drained.
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I had a choice. Do I get defensive and walk out
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or do I hear the truth? They were right.
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I wasn't the victim of my pain. I became an addict of it.
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I made it my identity and it was destroying me.
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Do you remember what I said in the beginning?
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That when we're the main character, we have to fix
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everything. We have to make sense of
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everything. We have to bear the weight of
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everything. That was me.
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I was the main character of my own misery, and I couldn't fix
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it. I hated what I saw, but instead
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of working on it, I escaped. Video games, YouTube, anywhere
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that would take me somewhere. But here inside I was screaming.
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There was something wrong that I needed to change.
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But my pain muffled my screams and I kept on going until my
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mentorship group confronted me. And that's when everything
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changed. Because everything changes when
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I stop being the main character. When I got out of the way and
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let Jesus take center stage, I didn't have to worry about
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fixing me. I didn't have to bear the weight
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of my story. I didn't have to make sense of
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my life. Jesus did.
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And the people around me, they weren't drained anymore because
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I wasn't searching for pity and sympathy.
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They didn't see me with my problems anymore.
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They saw Jesus working in and through me as he transformed me.
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So be honest with yourself. Does any of this sound familiar?
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In your life, not someone else's?
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Your life? Do your conversations circle
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back to your struggles? Are you more comfortable in
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crisis than in healing? Do people seem exhausted after
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talking with you? Have you made your pain and your
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problem as your identity instead of Christ?
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If you're thinking that's me, welcome to the club.
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You don't have to live that way anymore.
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Your pain is real, I am not dismissing that, but how you're
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handling it is hurting you and everyone around you.
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They say that hurt people hurt people, and right now you have
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weaponized your pain instead of bringing it to God.
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Scripture says we're supposed to bear one another's burdens, but
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you can't just unload your pain on the people around you while
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you refuse to bring it to Christ yourself.
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That's asking people to carry what you won't.
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Surrender to Jesus. Keep going this way and you're
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going to push away everyone in your life.
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Make the change now before you find yourself alone.
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And if you're there alone with your pain, God's still there.
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God still loves you. God is waiting for you to bring
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it to Him. So you have a choice.
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Are you going to use your suffering as a shield, hiding
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behind blame and being a victim and watch every one of your
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relationships die, or surrender it to Jesus and let the healing
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begin? Your pride, your pain, your
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fear, your whatever it is, is what is holding you back from
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the one and only one who can heal you from what you are
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suffering through. Bring your pain to Jesus and
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here's what that looks like. If that is you this week, find
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someone in your life you trust, a strong believer, a mentor,
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someone from your community group and go, I need help.
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I've been handling my pain the wrong way.
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Can you pray with me? Can you keep me accountable?
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And then be receptive to what they have to say in their
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counsel to you. Now, if you're thinking that's
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someone I love and care about, how can I help them?
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Keep pointing them to Jesus? Pray.
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Set boundaries where you need to, but remember that you can't
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carry what only God can carry. Jesus is the one who can heal an
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emotional vampire. Bring them to Jesus, and if they
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refuse to let God work, you may have to love them from a
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distance. It's not abandonment, it's
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wisdom. Pray, point them to Jesus and
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trust God to do what we cannot. And if you're thinking I don't
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do that or I'm past this, you might be right.
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You may be past this and God has brought you through it.
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God wants to use your story so that someone younger can see
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what he has done in your life. Keep going, but remember that
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even the most mature believer stays teachable.
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That the moment we stop being teachable and we think we're
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past things, that's when we become vulnerable.
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That's when our growth stops. Because the reality is when it
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happens to you, we are all one crisis away from making
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ourselves the main character. So the choice is yours.
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Stay focused on your crisis and drain everyone or surrender it
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to God and become a platform where God displays His glory.
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Let's continue in verse 5. Now Jesus loved Martha and her
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sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus
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was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was
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what he'd love them. Does your Bible say what He
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stayed two days longer? That doesn't make sense.
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For the three siblings, this only deepens their pain.
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Lazarus isn't sick anymore, He's dead.
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And Mary and Martha go from watching their brother be sick
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to now grieving his loss. And they appealed to Jesus to
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heal him. And Jesus didn't come.
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If Jesus loved him, why didn't he come?
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Why wait, knowing Lazarus is already dead and they're in
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their grief? Have you been there?
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You've given your crisis to Jesus and things didn't get
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fixed. You found yourself crying out.
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God, if you loved me, why didn't you show up?
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The text gives the explanation Jesus delayed because he loved
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them. That's our second principle for
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today. Write this down.
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God's delays reveal God's deeper love.
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What we're seeing is delays God is seeing as revealing A deeper
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purpose behind our pain. This is how God often writes.
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He sometimes used delays on purpose so he can reveal more of
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Jesus. By allowing Lazarus to die and
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to stay dead, Jesus was setting up a platform so that only God
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could be the one who could raise him.
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Look back at verse 4. Jesus says this.
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This illness is for the glory of God.
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Before their message even reached Jesus, Lazarus has
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already died. So why did Jesus wait two weeks
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more? Two days more?
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Well, you'd have to know Jewish burial customs.
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See, when a Jewish person died, they would bury them the same
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day. And for three days they believed
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that there was a spirit that hovered over, looking for a way
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to get back in. But on day 4, the body would
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start to change, and the spirit would go.
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And now death is final. Death is permanent.
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Sounds morbid, sounds theological, sounds boring.
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Who knows? The Princess Bride.
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There we go, breath of fresh air.
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This is a case of mostly dead versus all day.
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Day one, Day 2, day three, Mary and Martha are going to go He's
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dead, he can't talk, and Miracle Max is going to go Nope, he's
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mostly dead, which is slightly alive.
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Jesus waited for day 4 because on day four, mostly dead becomes
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all day. So now as Jesus arrives on day
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4, the miracle Max of Bethany can look at Jesus and go, well,
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Rabbi, he's all dead. There's only one thing we can
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do. Go through his clothes and look
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for loose change. Four days in the tomb, no
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possibility of revival by human means.
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This wasn't cruelty. The delay was strategy.
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Jesus wanted to ensure that when he raised Lazarus, it would be
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unmistakable that only God could do such a thing.
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If Jesus came and he healed Lazarus when he was sick, they
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would say he was a good doctor. Jesus brought Lazarus back when
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he was mostly dead. Miracle Max would have said he
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was a great doctor. But to bring someone back, Four
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days in the tomb, body decaying, all dead, no hope.
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They could say that only God can do this.
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Picture the scene, Mary and Martha, the sealed tomb.
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They've been there for four days in their grief, 4 days asking
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what if Jesus showed up? Four days and now the body
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begins to decay and then Jesus shows up and he says roll away
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the stone. They say it's too late, it
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stinks in there. Then Jesus said, did I not tell
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you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?
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God's delays are not denials, they're setups for greater
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glory. When He makes you wait, He's not
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ignoring you. He is setting something up in
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your life that you can't see yet.
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Isaiah 3018 puts it this way. Therefore, the Lord waits to be
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gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy
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to you. Did you catch that?
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The Lord waits. God sometimes delays on purpose.
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He didn't abandon you, He's setting up something greater.
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So when God doesn't show up on your timeline, it doesn't mean
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He doesn't care. So in your delays, you can
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interpret God's love by your circumstances, or you can
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interpret your circumstances by God's love.
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Now I know some of you are in here and you're thinking Lazarus
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came back, but mine didn't. My marriage didn't.
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My career didn't. My loved one didn't.
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My health didn't. I can't promise that God would
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bring back what you've lost. What I do know is that Lazarus
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himself died again. Lazarus's resurrection was for
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proving that Jesus had power over death.
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Even if God doesn't resurrect your marriage, your dream, your
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health, Jesus still has the power over death.
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If you've lost someone you love, that grief is so raw and just in
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your chest. When you breathe, your pain is
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seen. God is not distant.
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He's not punishing you. When Jesus came to the tomb, he
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wept fully knowing that he was about to raise Lazarus.
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Jesus grieves with you right now, the resurrection promises,
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and that you'll get them back today.
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It's that death does not get the final word.
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John 1125 Jesus says I am the resurrection and the life.
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Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live.
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For the believer, physical death is not the end.
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A believer's last breath on earth is immediately followed by
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their first breath in eternity with Jesus.
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God's purpose isn't always to change your circumstances, it's
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to reveal who Jesus is through them.
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Romans 818 would say. For I consider that the
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sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the
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glory that is to be revealed to us.
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God's greatest work isn't removing pain, it's sustaining
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you through it. Now there's one more perspective
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shift and it might be the most challenging.
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Let's look at verse 11, Jesus talking to his disciples.
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After saying these things, he said to them, our friend Lazarus
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has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.
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The disciples said to him, Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will
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recover. Now Jesus had spoken of his
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death, but they thought he meant taking rest in sleep.
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Verse 14, Jesus told them plainly, Lazarus has died, and
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for your sake I am glad that I was not there.
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So that you may believe Jesus is glad he wasn't there, not glad
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that Lazarus died, but that by Lazarus's death a greater thing
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would be accomplished, that it would give evidence for everyone
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to see that Jesus is God. Look again at verse 15 so that
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you may believe Lazarus's story isn't about Lazarus, it's about
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Jesus. Your story is not about you,
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it's about Jesus. And that's our Third Point for
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today. Write this down.
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Your pain writes Jesus story for others.
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God wants to use your suffering, not waste it.
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Use it so that others would believe your pain.
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Is the pen writing a story about Jesus that others will see?
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Right now we have moments like this in our church.
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Some of you are sick. Some of you are seeing family
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members suffer. Some of you are seeing them die.
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You're seeing your careers fail, your marriages fail.
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You're seeing all of these things.
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Here's what I need you to see. Your pain is not pointless.
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God sees it and he wants to use it so that others would believe.
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Your Co workers? They see how you handle that
27:46
impossible boss. Your neighbors, they notice how
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you respond when life falls apart.
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Your kids are asking, is your faith real when it costs you
27:57
something? Your friends wonder if this
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whole Jesus thing still works. When the bottom falls out in
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your life, this can be how you respond in your personal crisis.
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It can mean how you respond to global and national tragedies.
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I was a high school senior in New York City.
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On September 11th, 2001. We were in homeroom.
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We heard a rumor that a plane had hit the World Trade Center.
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Then we watched live on TV as the second plane hit just 10
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miles north of us. And then the towers fell and the
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announcement came over the speakers.
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Anyone who has a family member working in the towers or a first
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responder on duty, please come to the library.
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I watched half my class stand up and walk out not knowing if
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their family members were alive. In the days that followed, the
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ashes from the rubble reigned over Staten Island for days.
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Unspeakable tragedy. Yet from those ashes, God was
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moving. In the days that followed, my
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future pastor LED teams that provided care for the
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firefighters responding, they provided food, care, comfort,
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just a hug. And that movement became the
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catalyst that would later birth Crossroads Church in Staten
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Island, the church that eleven years later would become my
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home. Crossroads is where I was.
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Disciples, Crossroads is where I got my calling for ministry.
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Crossroads is where I served for 10 years.
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Hundreds have come to faith and still come to faith in Christ
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because of Crossroads Church. It's the same church that was
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born from the literal ashes of America's worst tragedy. 24
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years later, God is still riding with those ashes because
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crossroads exists. I'm here.
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And because I am here, you are hearing this message.
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When you stop asking why is this happening to me?
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And you start asking who might believe because of how I respond
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to this. That is how you take your
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suffering and let it be a stage for God's glory.
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Because here's the story God is writing with the pen of your
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pain. He's writing that Jesus is
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powerful enough to handle what you can't.
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Jesus is loving enough to be trusted in the delay.
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That Jesus is supreme over death itself.
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And that story written through your suffering is what brings
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people to faith, not your strength.
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His in my life today. It's not pain free, but in the
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pain God is still writing. I wake up in the mornings and
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that emotional vampire wants to come back.
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I want to be the main character again, but God reminds me.
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My place in my story is as the supporting character and my
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story is to be a life used by God so that others would believe
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your crisis. Right now someone is watching
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how you respond, and one day you will stand before Jesus and He
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will show you everyone who has come to faith because you
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allowed God to use your crisis so that they would believe that
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you would see the glory fully revealed, that you would see the
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full story. So until then, surrender your
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pain, trust God's timing, and be the platform where Jesus
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displays His glory. There's one more way God rides
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with pain, the ultimate one. At the cross, everyone saw a
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tragedy. The disciples saw their dream
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destroyed. But God was revealing something
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different. At the cross, God was writing
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the ultimate story, your salvation.
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See, Jesus died on the cross not because he deserved it, because
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you do. On the cross, Jesus took the
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punishment for your sin, for your rebellion against God.
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He died, and on the third day he rose again, defeating death
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itself. And maybe you're realizing right
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now there is more to life than my pain.
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Romans 10/9 says if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is
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Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the
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dead, you will be saved. If you'd like to surrender to
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God today with every eye closed and with every head bowed,
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repeat this prayer after me. Jesus, I know I am a Sinner.
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I cannot save myself. I want you to save me and adopt
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me into your family. I surrender everything to you,
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my pain, my suffering, my circumstances.
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I receive your promise of forgiveness and eternal life.
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Be my Lord, please Jesus, if you just prayed that prayer for the
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first time, would you be brave enough to raise your hand so I
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can see? Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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You can put your hands down and Amen everyone.
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Let's look up here if you have put your faith in Christ.
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Welcome to the family. In a moment, there's 2 tables in
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the back that say I raised my hand.
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We want to celebrate with you. We have a gift for you.
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But for all of us, here's what you can do starting today.
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First, respond differently. When you find yourself turning a
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conversation back to your pain, stop.
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Take a breath. Thank God for one thing in your
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life, and let the conversation be about what the other person
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has to say. Second, choose to trust God's
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timing over your timeline. When anxiety hits about God's
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silence, pray. Pray.
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Lord, I choose to trust you in your timing.
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Let His delays draw you closer to Him in your prayer life, in
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your Bible study, in your devotion and desperation for
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Him. Third, invite someone into your
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crisis. Ask a trusted person this week
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to pray. You don't have to have it all
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together to simply say I am struggling and I need help.
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Will you pray with me? Would you all stand with me?
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Our prayer team is coming to the front right now.
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You've come in with your pain, with your suffering.
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You do not have to be alone with that.
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Come to the altar, pray with our team.
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Do not leave here the same if you put your faith in Christ.
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Head back to those I raise my hand tables.
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Now the rest of us. The altar is open.
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You move as the Lord leaves church.