Latest / The Lila Rose Show / E207: Meet The Greatest Woman I Know: My Mom | Lila Rose Show

Transcript

E207: Meet The Greatest Woman I Know: My Mom | Lila Rose Show · The Lila Rose Show

0:00
We literally held hands and jumped off a Cliff, is what we.
0:04
Did you and Dad? It's not easy to marry young,
0:08
but at some point we just have to live.
0:11
We have to move forward with the hurts, the pains, the tools, the
0:16
lack of tools. What would be your best advice
0:20
for marriage? Oh.
0:21
Boy. Hey everybody, welcome back to
0:25
the Lila Rose Show. I'm very excited today.
0:28
My favorite guest I have ever had in studio is here with me,
0:32
my own beautiful mother, and I've been asking her to come on
0:36
the show for now, really since we started almost two years.
0:40
And she has been a difficult guest to book because she is
0:44
very busy doing a lot of very beautiful and important things.
0:47
There's so much that I learn every single day from my mother,
0:50
just watching her example. And so I really wanted her on
0:52
the show to talk about her background a little bit and the
0:54
way she approaches life. She has eight children.
0:57
She had four miscarriages. She has over 20 grandchildren.
1:00
She has been married to my father for over 40 years.
1:03
There's just a whole wealth of knowledge there that I've
1:06
gleaned from, so I wanted to share it with you guys.
1:08
And she said she might do it again depending on how it goes I
1:11
guess. So I hope you enjoy it and if
1:12
you do enjoy it, make sure that you're subscribed to the channel
1:14
and that you like this video. Leave a comment.
1:18
Love hearing from you always. Also, we will be doing AQA with
1:21
you guys. A lot of you left your questions
1:24
on social media because I said, hey, my mom's in studio, what do
1:26
you want to ask her? Had a lot of questions for her.
1:28
So we're going to be doing a 30 minute QA session with questions
1:31
from you guys with my mom that is exclusively available over at
1:36
rosereport.supercast.com for our subscribers and our community
1:40
there. So go sign up at
1:41
rosereport.supercast.com for that 30 minute Q&A with my one
1:45
and only mom. You're my favorite guests I've
1:48
ever had on the podcast. I'm your biggest fan.
1:52
So my mom is in the you are in the comments section sometimes
1:56
on the show, right? You look.
1:57
Of course, of course. Are you going to give away your
2:00
username or no No. OK.
2:05
Mom, I love you. Thanks for doing this.
2:08
This is not anything I would have imagined would ever take
2:11
place. Well, I've been asking her.
2:14
I, I think I when did I first ask you to come on the show?
2:17
Probably over a year ago. At the beginning.
2:20
At the beginning. So two years later almost now we
2:23
get her. We get her here.
2:24
Well, just thinking about you growing up, if anyone ever told
2:29
me that we would be doing this later in life, I would be no, no
2:34
way. But there we are, my.
2:36
Crazy daughter, Yeah. Here we are.
2:38
It's all. It's all good.
2:40
Mom, Well, first of all, you're in town.
2:44
We're both in Socal right now. But I just want to just say this
2:48
because one of the things I most admire about you is how
2:52
incredibly devoted you are to not just your husband, not just
2:56
your kids, but also your grandkids.
2:58
And I am a beneficiary of that, having three of your grandkids,
3:01
but you have a lot more than three grandkids.
3:03
So anyways, what brought you to Southern California this this
3:05
time around? Well, this time your dear
3:08
brother had his seventh child. And of course we always like to
3:12
go in proximity to the birth and just kind of help out as best we
3:18
can. And your dad is very amenable to
3:23
doing that. And he picks up the heavier
3:27
toddlers when we babysit because my back is a little bit
3:31
delicate. So dad is very involved and just
3:37
excited about having so many grandchildren born and coming
3:43
and. How many are you at now?
3:44
We will be 21 I in a few weeks. 21 grandkids.
3:49
So God is good. And then how many kids do you
3:52
have I. Have eight children, you're my
3:56
third, and there's four in heaven.
4:00
And so, yeah, it's a full life. Yeah.
4:04
Yeah, many, many blessings. So I so and you came to town
4:09
because Bob, my brother, you're what is this number 5 right?
4:12
Or he's #5 So there's five boys, the three girls.
4:16
I'm the eldest girl and then Bob's the 4th oldest boy.
4:20
He's kind of, he's the second to last boy, yes, but he had it.
4:23
He just had a seventh child there.
4:25
It's 7 under 9, right? Is the oldest.
4:28
So you're you're helping out with like basically 4 toddlers,
4:32
4 babies and toddlers. Yeah.
4:35
How do you how do you have the energy to do everything you do?
4:38
Mom, you know I'd marvel at you. It's, I think it's just a gift.
4:46
Something that I've noticed as I've grown older is that people
4:51
have different gifts. And one of my gifts, which I
4:55
believe is God-given is just extra energy.
4:58
I can go on, not as much sleep as maybe others would need.
5:03
And it's not something that I'm really proud of.
5:05
It's just something that I'm grateful for that I can get up
5:09
and just be wide awake and which is useful when you have a lot of
5:15
children to be awake in the morning, so.
5:18
Yeah, you're an early bird. Yeah, also grandchildren as
5:21
well. It's it's helpful when Mama
5:24
needs to rest and grandma's there to help with the kids.
5:29
Yeah, Mom, you're, you're so selfless.
5:32
You so my so my sister, my youngest sister just got
5:35
engaged. Your daughter Nina, our our baby
5:37
Nina. But anyways, I have to just
5:38
share with our listeners. So you came down here to help
5:41
with a new baby, my other brother or other, your other
5:44
son's, you know, new baby #7 Nina was also in town.
5:48
She just got engaged anyway, so that's very exciting.
5:51
But she was in town and you came over and I don't think I'd seen
5:55
you yet. You've been here like 3 days
5:56
helping out at Bob's house. You come over, you get, you
6:00
immediately get there. She starts basically cleaning my
6:03
kitchen and tidying up. And then Nina and I are just
6:05
sitting there with all my, my kids.
6:07
And you're like, oh, you and Nina go get your nails done and
6:09
I'll watch, you know, I'll be able to sit with, well, Gigi had
6:11
just gone down for a nap. You guys just go get your nails
6:13
done and I'll watch the, you know, watch the kids.
6:16
I mean just immediately want just serve serving, serving,
6:20
serving. Well, it was.
6:21
It was really a special time to spend with your boys because
6:27
having homeschooled all of you and then working with
6:32
grandchildren as they learn to read and do math and all of
6:37
that, it's really, really special.
6:40
So one of my goals in life, mom, is to be as loving and generous
6:44
as you are. And, and you have always been
6:47
that way, ever since I was a little girl.
6:49
Every memory I have of you is generosity.
6:52
I'm going to start crying, you know, talking about this.
6:54
So one of my goals in life is to be as loving as you and generous
6:58
as you and and sacrificial as you.
7:01
I mean, you don't have a selfless bone.
7:02
You don't have a selfish bone in your body.
7:04
You are just very, very selfless.
7:07
That's a little too much. It's.
7:09
True, it's true. This is my you, your daughter
7:12
saying this, this is my experience of you.
7:14
So I it's what I know to be true.
7:16
I want to, I'd love to hear and just for our podcast listeners,
7:21
you know what it was in your childhood and just in your life
7:25
that gave you your worldview of being so focused on the gifts of
7:30
other and the needs of other people because, and I also would
7:35
love to hear. I'm kind of putting on a lot
7:36
here. But you are also good about
7:39
caring for yourself, though sometimes you push it too far.
7:41
You don't you don't take care of yourself enough, I would argue,
7:43
but you are devoted to, you know, your physical health, you
7:46
workout, you know, you get your, the back thing, whatever it's
7:50
called that you osteo right osteopath.
7:53
Osteo strong. Osteo Strong, you've always been
7:55
focused on your spiritual and personal development.
7:58
I mean, I remember looking at your, you had all these books
8:00
growing up about how to be a better wife.
8:02
You had books growing up about how to be a better, better
8:04
mother. You were obviously homeschooling
8:06
us. So you were always devoted on
8:08
learning and growing. So it's not like you were just
8:10
endlessly selfless to the point of like self harm.
8:12
You were just always just how do I be a better woman, a better
8:16
mother, better wife, help my kids grow?
8:18
And you had books everywhere and you went, you know, church
8:20
groups and, you know, Bible studies.
8:21
I mean, it was all part of the package, right?
8:24
So I guess what I'm asking is, and I know my parents, your
8:28
grand, my grandparents, your parents, but how is it that you?
8:32
Got to be that way. Oh goodness.
8:34
This is a. Big question.
8:40
Well. You told me not to tell you
8:42
beforehand, but I was going to ask she she forbade me from
8:46
talking. She forbade me from giving her
8:49
any kind of information before because you just wanted to come
8:51
in and not overthink it. Again, well, I think growing up
8:55
in the home that I grew up, which was a multi generational
8:58
home, I had my Italian grandparents living with us.
9:04
I had siblings and then an aunt and uncle with cousins as well.
9:10
My mother who passed 2 1/2 years ago was very special.
9:17
She loved people. She was an extrovert who
9:23
welcomed our friends, welcomed her own family, organized family
9:28
events. She didn't have much education,
9:32
but she gave all that she had. And that was my model, was my
9:36
mom. And I miss her, as you can
9:40
imagine. But just being in our home, I
9:48
never had to tell her if somebody was coming for dinner.
9:54
There was always room for whoever we brought home.
9:58
Our home was like the nucleus. People wanted to spend time with
10:04
our family and our cousins, and having grandma and grandpa
10:09
upstairs was extra special. So I guess my mom was my model
10:17
for for the service part. Plus she had lots of energy.
10:21
She loved to cook, she loved to. That was her love language to
10:28
cook meals for us and for our friends and they all loved her
10:32
food and she was very eager to include us in that process.
10:38
So we adopted that as well. She was making meals for people
10:43
that was fun and she she loved to organize events and in her
10:48
life it was more let's get the cousins together.
10:52
In my life as I grew, it was let's organize homeschool group
10:58
and let's have a Co-op. So I used the gifts that I got
11:03
from her to sort of make them my own and do things that would
11:09
help my family to grow and to thrive.
11:12
And that was one way was the homeschooling events and
11:15
homeschooling Co-op and which eventually became the the Live
11:19
Oak Academy. Seven Weeks Coffee is America's
11:22
pro-life coffee company on a mission to fund the pro-life
11:25
movement. One delicious cup of coffee at a
11:27
time and they check every box. This is pesticide free, mold
11:31
free, organically farmed, low acid coffee that is absolutely
11:35
delicious. Seven Weeks Coffee donates 10%
11:39
of every single sale, including the sale you can make today to
11:42
pro-life pregnancy centers. And because coffee always tastes
11:45
better with a free gift, if you go to sevenweekscoffee.com today
11:48
and subscribe using the code Lila at checkout, you'll get a
11:51
free 2 pack of their new travel bags to take your coffee
11:55
wherever life takes you. And exclusively for the
11:57
listeners of this show, you can go to sevenweekscoffee.com.
12:00
You can use the code Lila at checkout to get up to 25% off
12:04
your first purchase as well as your free gift.
12:08
That's something I remember too, with the generosity and
12:10
everything growing up but that you possess.
12:13
And you and Dad, Dad's that way too.
12:15
Dad's very generous, but this when the homeschool Co-op that
12:18
you developed, I mean, we were all, all eight of us were
12:20
homeschooled, which was super fun and amazing.
12:23
I'm so grateful for that too. But you started all that, you
12:27
started the Co-op, you started all, you know, clash debate
12:31
club. You started Clash debate club.
12:33
I was part of it, yeah. You know, you say part of it,
12:35
but you were one of the founding families or the instigator and
12:39
like that energy and, and also administrative skills, because
12:43
you have all these administrative skills that made
12:45
all of these things possible in in the community.
12:48
And I, I know like a lot of people that love you and know
12:51
you, your friends, you know, people that are my friends that
12:53
admire you. They're always kind of marvel at
12:56
all of the things that you just can do.
12:59
And but you do it all with such a this like generous self giving
13:04
spirit. Well, it was a lot of fun.
13:09
It was a lot of fun because like I said, my mom was a people
13:12
person and I am a people person as well.
13:16
And so organizing things increases your opportunity to
13:23
spend time with people. And so I'm very grateful that
13:28
the home schooling allowed me to develop friendships with the
13:34
parents of the other children that we homeschooled with.
13:38
And that was just such a blessing.
13:40
And these are friends that I have to this day.
13:43
Decades long friendships. You're lit, club ladies.
13:46
Lit Club ladies and other families that we homeschooled
13:50
with through Live Oak Academy, it's just, it's been wonderful.
13:54
So when, when what's good for your children can line up with
13:59
what feeds your soul as well, It's, it's an extra blessing.
14:05
And I think that I, I noticed in your podcast, you've talked
14:08
about gifts and how to develop those gifts and which, which is
14:14
a beautiful thing to explore. And in my view, when your gifts
14:20
line up with what you really love and what can really serve
14:26
your family and other people in your life, when it all kind of
14:30
comes together, it's a beautiful thing.
14:34
Did you, when you were starting the, your family, our family
14:37
with our, my dad, your husband, did you have a sense like, OK,
14:41
my gifts are big, like, you know, generosity, bringing
14:44
people together, organizing things, coming up with ideas?
14:48
Or was that just kind of a natural evolution of you and dad
14:52
building your life together? That's a good question.
15:02
I think as I, we got married fairly young as you know and we
15:09
had children right away. Nine months to the day after we
15:15
were married, we had a child. So I don't think I was as self
15:23
aware as maybe you were when you married because you married a
15:27
little bit later. So I think you were a lot more
15:30
mature, you and your husband then Dad and I were being so
15:34
young, but having children and living that quote, married life
15:43
gave an opportunity for to grow in my own self-awareness.
15:48
So I discovered who I was as I nurtured my family and explored,
15:58
you know, how to be married well, which of course takes
16:03
decades to accomplish. To be married well and to have a
16:09
successful functional relationship, that takes a long
16:13
time. It takes a lot of work.
16:15
But I think all those things kind of happened at the same
16:18
time. Self-awareness, discovering my
16:20
gifts, having children, being married to your dad and
16:27
discovering who he was and how to get along and flourish.
16:33
And it does take a lifetime to learn how to live.
16:38
My dad always used to say by the time you're you're 90 or plus,
16:46
which he was 99 when he passed, he would say you finally learn
16:50
how to live. It was very sweet.
16:56
Yeah, so. Yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm
17:07
learning how to live. Of course we're all learning how
17:09
to live. But I think one of the things
17:11
that I admire about you and Dad is that you went all in from the
17:15
beginning. You met and you got married
17:16
within, what was it, 5 months. That was a very whirlwind
17:19
romance. Had a baby right away.
17:22
Again, the modern advice today is don't you know schools rush
17:27
in like don't, don't, don't commit so quickly.
17:30
Build your career, build your, you know, whatever your life up
17:34
and then go once you have things figured out, then you go and
17:37
have kids, then you go and get married.
17:38
Then you go and do these other things.
17:40
And you are the living story of no, you just say yes.
17:44
Then you go all in and then you you're devoted, you're devoted,
17:47
you're devoted, you're devoted. And you figure it out as you go
17:50
together. Well, we literally held hands
17:53
and jumped off a Cliff, is what we.
17:56
Did you and Dad I? Don't know.
17:58
As you know, I don't recommend that and I haven't recommended.
18:02
It to your daughters like you would be like don't do that to
18:05
don't do what we did. It worked out for you and Dad
18:07
though. But one thing that we were
18:09
certain of was we would never let go of each other.
18:15
So, and it, it wasn't easy. It's not easy to marry young and
18:22
hardly know who you are. We knew we had faith.
18:25
Faith was very, that was a given.
18:28
We knew that we wanted to serve together.
18:34
We weren't quite sure how we met at a missions conference, at a,
18:39
at a evangelical slash Protestant missions class.
18:44
That's where we met. And we thought we were going to
18:47
be missionaries, like missionaries in a foreign land.
18:52
But as it turned out, God had other ideas for us.
18:57
And so we jumped off the Cliff together, and we're still
19:01
holding hands even though we hit some rocks here and there, but
19:05
we're still holding. Do hold hands.
19:08
Yeah. Yeah, when you were just walking
19:10
down the street. So you you didn't you were going
19:15
to do the mission. I heard.
19:16
I knew about that, but I I didn't realize that you were
19:18
seriously thinking about as a couple going to like a.
19:22
Foreign. No, not as a couple.
19:23
We were individuals. I see, I see.
19:25
So when you met each other, fell in love so quickly, got married,
19:29
were you still thinking we would go and do missionary work as a
19:32
family? Or you're at that point you're
19:34
like, no, we're going to get married and raise a family now.
19:37
We to tell you the truth, we had no clue.
19:44
We really had no clue. One day at a time, we just.
19:47
Got married and here we are. So yeah, this kind of a
19:55
unorthodox way to proceed, but beautiful.
19:58
Yeah, that's kind of what we did.
20:00
So. But.
20:00
You were both trusting God, that was.
20:02
Absolutely, 100 percent, 1000% and I knew beyond any shadow of
20:09
a doubt that faith and was was paramount for him and for me,
20:16
and that helped. That is the foundation.
20:20
But beyond that, it is good to work out some details.
20:25
Once in a while, I find a small business that I fall absolutely
20:28
in love with and that's why I'm so excited to share We Heart
20:31
Nutrition with you guys. We Heart nutrition.com is a
20:34
vitamin and supplement company that provides the highest
20:38
quality researched back ingredients, customized and
20:41
optimized to help you be healthy.
20:44
What I also love about We Heart Nutrition is that this is a
20:46
family owned company and they donate a full 10% back of all of
20:50
their revenue to pregnancy resource centers to help moms
20:53
and babies in need. So whether you are pre
20:56
menopausal or post menopausal, whether you're looking to
20:58
conceive, help improve your fertility, whether you're
21:01
pregnant and this is a great prenatal vitamin or your post
21:04
Natal plus I'm very excited to share this with my husband.
21:07
Now We Heart Nutrition has come out with their first line of
21:09
men's vitamins. And if you ordered today at We
21:12
Heart nutrition.com, get your vitamins.
21:14
You can get 20% off using the code Lila.
21:17
And if you spend at least $50, you will get a free signature
21:20
bamboo capsule vitamin box. So go to weheartnutrition.com
21:24
today. Use the code Lila at checkout to
21:26
get 20% off your purchase and when you spend $50, get that
21:29
adorable free bamboo capsule box to store your vitamins in.
21:33
That's we heartnutrition.com. What would be your best advice
21:37
for marriage? For marriage.
21:43
I admire very, very much how you faithfully have served and loved
21:47
our family and Dad and I I get I you treat Dad so well.
21:54
I need to treat my husband better.
21:56
I mean, if I can treat him a little bit the way you treat
21:59
dad, I would be doing well. I mean, you're very devoted to.
22:05
You know, I've grown in my understanding of marriage.
22:10
I think, sadly, because of the spirit of the age, many young
22:15
women go into marriage thinking, oh, this is going to solve all
22:19
my problems. Someone finally loves me and and
22:23
the life is going to be all roses and just beautiful because
22:29
I found the my Prince Charming. And that might, I might have had
22:35
a little bit of that with your dad initially, but as I've grown
22:42
in my understanding of marriage, it really is your
22:50
sanctification. Marriage assists in your
22:54
sanctification. And becoming Catholic or
22:58
reverting back to my Catholic faith has helped me understand
23:02
that more and to really live what that means.
23:06
And you know, things that maybe drove me crazy about dad 25 or
23:17
30 years ago are just funny now. And it's it's it's a blessing to
23:27
just chuckle together about our weaknesses and know that he can
23:34
finish a sentence that I'd be begin and I can finish his
23:38
sentence. So it's really that that knowing
23:44
one another and realizing the small stuff doesn't matter, it's
23:52
the big stuff. And that humor is a real
23:58
medicine. I think sometimes we take each
24:02
other's weaknesses or offenses too seriously instead of just
24:09
looking at one another as we're both just journeying on this
24:12
life together and we want to spend eternity with God and we
24:18
want to grow in virtue and become more humble and more
24:26
servant like and just give each other grace or so just in every
24:33
way possible. And of course forgiveness and
24:41
just lightheartedness. It really those things go a long
24:47
way in a marriage and just understanding where the other
24:53
person needs extra grace and extra help to grow and to
24:59
thrive. And that comes over years.
25:02
That takes years. And it's, it's difficult, as I'm
25:10
sure many people would agree, but it there's just joy in it.
25:19
When you embrace hardship and challenge in relationships, it
25:25
can yield a lot of good fruit and joy.
25:29
But it does take time. So I would say, did you ask me
25:32
what advice I would give? I would say be patient,
25:36
forbearing, forgiving one another just as God has forgiven
25:43
you. I mean, I think that's from the
25:44
Bible. Yeah.
25:46
And don't take yourself too seriously or your your partner
25:51
or husband, wife as they call it.
25:53
They call it partner nowadays, which just grinds my gears.
25:58
But your husband, your husband or wife, just Christ died for
26:03
them as well as yourself and your children.
26:10
And that's a whole other area where you can grow just in
26:15
raising children. It's very sanctifying to be
26:21
married and to raise children as well, as you have discovered,
26:25
I'm sure, A. Tiny little bit I'm I'm way
26:28
behind you. Obviously I, I, I watch you
26:31
parent. I watched you.
26:33
Obviously you parented me, of course, and then our my siblings
26:37
through the teen years and all the craziness that can come with
26:39
that in young adult years and the craziness of the culture and
26:42
just watching how you and dad together navigate all of the
26:46
beauties and challenges of it. I I, I haven't like made the
26:50
list myself. I probably should do this of
26:52
what I'm observing that you do that I want to make sure I do,
26:55
but the imprint that I have the privilege of receiving is there.
26:59
So I know that's going to help me when my kids, as my children
27:03
grow, because I have that imprint from you and dad about,
27:06
you know, with faith in in faith navigating the the growth
27:12
trajectories of eight souls. And now you have six children in
27:19
law, six sons and daughters in law, a 7th on the way.
27:23
Youngest sister just got engaged.
27:25
Only one, you know, one rather not married yet, but that's a
27:29
lot of people. And then you obviously all the
27:31
grandchildren, you're very involved in their life as well
27:34
in their lives, all 20 plus grandkids.
27:37
So it's a it's a your I'm just I guess I'm saying is you're
27:41
giving us advice, which is very beautiful and I'm receiving it.
27:44
But my biggest blessing is getting to just watch you
27:48
osmosis wise, just live life with dad and seeing how you guys
27:53
operate. And I know that that's, and I
27:55
don't just have that privilege. There are many, many people in
27:57
the community who have that privilege because you guys are
27:59
so generous. You're involved in so many
28:01
activities, you have so many people over to your home.
28:02
You're always giving, giving, giving.
28:04
So there's a lot of people who have your model to look to,
28:08
whether they consciously realize it or not.
28:10
And it's making this beautiful impact.
28:14
Well, by God's grace, yeah. Well, we can certainly, I mean,
28:20
hopefully. And my, my hope and prayer for
28:23
my children is to take the the good things and leave aside the
28:30
not so good and to to do better. That's my prayer is that people
28:38
who interact with me and that people who maybe are my friends,
28:47
you know, in my circle, that they can take something of value
28:52
with them knowing me and then just leave the not so good,
28:58
especially my children. I hope that you can, cause no
29:04
family is perfect. And I'm sure Dad and I could
29:08
tell you and everybody else what not to do when you're raising
29:12
children. We have a long list of that.
29:18
So yeah, we're all we're all journeying together and
29:26
gratitude, just grateful I'm I'm so grateful for just the years
29:32
that I've been given. I'm astounded that I've made at
29:35
this bar. It's very.
29:40
You're young Mama, you're I've got a lot of years left.
29:43
I'm. Very grateful my my grandson
29:47
said to me just in the last couple days, four years old
29:52
Grandma, why are you so old? He's he's fascinated with age
29:59
and it's really a gift to grow old.
30:04
It, it is. And to have memories and to have
30:07
dreams even, you know, as God gives you more, more and more
30:11
years. So I'm grateful for that.
30:16
And that's another sort of key to marriage and child raising is
30:23
just gratitude. Just to work on that gratitude
30:26
muscle. I think we can be so affluent
30:34
and we have so many things and so many opportunities that I
30:40
think people can struggle with being grateful just for what
30:46
they have. And so especially in their
30:49
relationships. And I think that, you know, with
30:53
our children and our spouse and our circle and our fam friends,
30:58
family, just to nurture that gratitude and exercise the
31:01
gratitude muscle empowers you to do more and more.
31:07
That's what I try to do. I know that over 140,000 US
31:13
family farms have closed down since 2017.
31:16
When you go to the grocery store, your meat and poultry
31:18
products often will say product of the USA.
31:21
But did you know that 90% of them are actually not from the
31:23
USA? They're imported in and then
31:25
they slapped that label on Product of the USA.
31:27
Here's how Good Ranchers is solving that problem.
31:30
Good Ranchers is American meat delivered with meat sourced 100%
31:35
from the United States. Every cut of beef, chicken, pork
31:38
and fish from Good Ranchers is sourced 100% from the USA.
31:42
Good Ranchers meat is also free from hidden additives, no
31:46
antibiotics ever, no added hormones, and no seed oils.
31:49
And now goodranchers.com has their Spring Into Action offer.
31:53
For $40 off your order plus a free add on for an entire year,
31:57
you can get free bacon, ground beef seed oil, free chicken
32:01
Nuggets, or wild caught salmon as a free add on with your
32:05
monthly subscription. Plus using the code Lila, you'll
32:08
get $40 off your order. Use the code Lila at
32:11
goodranchers.com. When you were having all eight
32:14
kids, so you had first kid nine months after getting married,
32:17
you had eight children, 4 miscarriages and you were doing
32:23
this. It wasn't an easy life.
32:25
I mean, again, I, I was the beneficiary.
32:27
I just got to be the kid. But observing it, you worked
32:30
really hard, Dad worked really hard.
32:33
You, you know, you didn't have, you didn't come from a bunch of
32:37
wealth that you, you know, your, your, you know, physical needs.
32:41
You guys worked, you know, dad worked to provide for the family
32:44
really hard. Like we started out life, you
32:46
started out life in a what was it your parents home and then a
32:48
12 bedroom apartment or a. Two-bedroom little bungalow,
32:52
Little Bungalow, 1920. 1920s little house.
32:55
And so you just, you worked every bit of the way.
32:58
And then homeschooling us was this other huge project because
33:01
it wasn't like there was this homeschool community that you
33:04
could plug into. You had to build it from
33:06
scratch. And in addition to that, correct
33:09
me if I'm wrong in the details here, but growing up in the
33:11
church that we were raised in, again, beautiful church, but
33:15
there were no other big families.
33:17
They were all kind of having 2-3, maybe 4, the most kids.
33:20
You were kind of this anomaly. And so there was also just
33:24
dealing with pressures where people kind of sometimes even
33:26
look down on you for that. There was a kind of a question
33:29
of like, why are they having eight kids?
33:30
And you were also homeschooling. So that was a little bit
33:33
unusual, but you just pioneered all of that and and you didn't
33:38
have like a model on on, you know, you didn't have this
33:41
model. Like for me, I have you as a
33:43
model. I have these other models that I
33:45
can admire, You know, these Saints and other people that I
33:48
think are just doing this beautiful job.
33:50
You I don't, I mean, from what I understand, you didn't have some
33:54
clear cut model of what you were going after.
33:56
You were just chasing beauty and chasing goodness and chasing
34:00
truth together. Am I getting any facts wrong?
34:04
About the that's, that's about right.
34:06
We, there was a group of us that we kind of stumbled around
34:10
together. It was a very different
34:13
homeschooling environment in the early 90s than it is now.
34:18
And we, we in a sense, we're pushing back against the culture
34:25
public school, which had its challenges in those days.
34:30
Now it's such a different world. I can't even imagine when I,
34:35
when I think of the challenges we faced at that time in history
34:40
compared to what the world is facing now, it's it's night and
34:44
day. Our problems were so minor
34:48
compared to what, where the culture has gone.
34:52
Let let's say it's gotten really out way out.
34:58
So what was? It, by the way, in the early 90s
35:01
when when you were starting homeschooling us, what was it in
35:04
the public school system or the schools that you and Dad thought
35:08
were it? Was sort of the whole they don't
35:11
allow prayer in public schools. That was big and you had to
35:16
separate your your church life. It was it was this compartment.
35:23
Over here was faith, and then school was over here and there
35:27
was no. Integration.
35:30
There was no integration. And we thought about Christian
35:35
School, but it didn't, it wasn't our in our economy to do
35:42
Christian School, private schools, too expensive with the
35:45
number of children. And we weren't Catholic, so we
35:49
didn't consider Catholic school. And it was really just what's
35:54
what's left. And of course your dad, he was
35:58
always for home schooling. He told me we were going to do
36:02
it when our young, our oldest was like two or three.
36:07
He just said by the way our kids will be home schooled and I went
36:11
to public school so I had no clue what he was talking about.
36:13
What did you say? Who's doing?
36:15
That I said are you what what homeschool I never.
36:19
Heard that idea? Oh, no, I ask him.
36:22
I don't know. But he was adamant we're going
36:25
to just do it. So I agreed to do it one year at
36:27
a time. And it just kind of grew from
36:30
there. It was just, all right, here we
36:32
are. Let's try it.
36:33
What, what can happen that's so horrible?
36:36
Kindergarten, We'll, we'll do it.
36:38
And so we did that. But we did stumble around
36:42
together and it wasn't ideal because there wasn't a lot of
36:46
support. You know, the community we
36:49
found, the homeschoolers found each other.
36:52
California was a friendly place to homeschool, which is a
36:56
blessing compared to other states at the time.
37:01
But we did stumble. We learned from each other.
37:05
We made mistakes. We shifted gears a lot.
37:09
And then we formed little groups and we formed little classes in
37:13
our house. And Dad would teach earth
37:15
science or he'd teach geometry and we'd invite students in.
37:20
And then it grew from there. But it was very countercultural
37:27
to do home schooling back then. Now it's very mainstreamed, but
37:33
it was very different. Do you think it was the combo of
37:36
Dad who's kind of a genius? You're a genius too, but that's
37:41
very like, he's very intellectual and he's just sort
37:43
of, you know, big ideas, big thinkers.
37:46
So it was Dad being that way and then you being also very
37:51
brilliant and also just very administratively like you just
37:55
do stuff. You're, I can't even describe to
37:58
the, the listeners, like my mother, my, my amazing mother.
38:01
But you're always I, when I tell you, like you're, you're
38:05
technically an empty nester now effectively.
38:08
But when I call you, you're always doing an activity to
38:11
serve somebody, invite people over with the family.
38:15
You don't just like hang out and garden.
38:17
I mean, you do garden too. You have a garden, but you just
38:20
always have an activity. So anyways, I digress.
38:23
But the point is you, you're this administrative wonder and
38:25
very high energy in doing all of these beautiful things.
38:28
And then dad has these like big ideas, which you have too.
38:31
And you guys get together and then you walk to the beat of
38:33
your own drum and you're like, let's just dive in.
38:35
Let's just, let's just do homeschooling now.
38:37
And you know, San Jose, CA. Yeah, Dad.
38:42
Dad's amazing in that he is the smartest man I've ever known.
38:47
I still say that. Last night we were at dinner and
38:52
Molly said OK, Grandpa knows everything about science.
38:56
You can ask him anything you want.
38:58
And that was the conversation. So they were talking about solar
39:02
flares and all this stuff that just was way over my head.
39:06
But Dad, Dad loves knowledge learning, and I could see those
39:15
gifts from the get go. And so I learned how to harness
39:23
and use his gifts to help propel our projects forward.
39:29
So in that sense, it was a really good compliment.
39:33
So when we were writing, for example, the bylaws for the
39:36
different groups that we started, Dad would write the
39:39
bylaws. I knew they had to be written,
39:41
so I had that. Little gift, I have a childhood
39:44
memory of that. You telling dad you're the
39:46
genius. You write the bylaws.
39:48
And dad would do it and do it so well and I would just be so and
39:54
and he was very willing to do it even though he had his full time
39:58
job and he worked so hard. In a way, it was a creative
40:03
outlet for him as well As for me.
40:06
Our different projects that we could do together.
40:09
So that was an extra blessing in our sort of journey together was
40:14
to do projects and create things.
40:19
Nothing that either of us anticipated would ever happen,
40:22
but it just we kind of fell into it and it's been a wild ride
40:31
really has. So yeah, we're working on things
40:35
even to this day. So some of.
40:38
Your biggest projects are in front of you in terms of
40:41
building things, which you can talk about that too.
40:44
But I, I think that that that take away for me is you have
40:50
this natural gift, but you're intentional about using it too.
40:52
It's not like you just happen to have it and then it just happens
40:55
to happen sometimes. But you see other people's
40:58
gifts. You do this with me all the time
41:01
to this day. You're my #1 encourager besides
41:03
my husband, who also does this with me.
41:05
And I'm so grateful, Joe, if you're doing that with me.
41:08
But you see people's gifts and you just encourage them like
41:12
you're good at this. You do this or you got this, you
41:15
can do it. You're always just encouraging,
41:16
encouraging, encouraging. And I see that with Dad that
41:19
you've helped to unlock things that Dad has now done that
41:23
serves a lot of other people beyond our family.
41:26
Because you're like, you know, you're the genius.
41:28
You write the bylaws or you know, you're so good at science,
41:31
math, whatever you can teach the class or whatever it is.
41:33
And these are things Dad enjoys too, because they are gifts.
41:35
Usually people enjoy the gifts that they're given and they
41:38
multiply them by continuing to work at them, right?
41:41
So you do you do that with everybody.
41:44
Well, with my children and with my community, if I can, and I'm
41:54
sure Dad feels this way too, if we can put them or assist them
42:01
to grow in some way. Like for example, with your live
42:07
action just being the small part that we had in live action,
42:14
allowing you to have a meeting in our living room, for example,
42:18
when you were 14 or 15 and, you know, helping you serve a little
42:23
snack to your friends. Just small things.
42:26
And just to watch you grow and flourish in that, it becomes
42:31
part of our I I success. That's not the word that I'm
42:41
looking for, but it gives us joy to see you doing something that
42:47
you love and that you're passionate about and that we can
42:50
be a small part of. So and, and similarly with your
42:56
siblings and, and all their projects.
43:00
It, it, it's, it's a privilege. It's exciting to, to see you all
43:07
create things and throw your lives into something.
43:11
And if we can how enable that help you to do that even in a
43:16
small way, it's like we're doing it with you.
43:21
It's very fulfilling. That's, that's something that
43:25
drives me is to see others use their gifts because it almost
43:31
feels like I'm part of it. And I don't know if that's ego,
43:37
if it's pride. I mean, I've thought about that.
43:39
It's just like a pride thing. But I do know that my mother,
43:44
who had very little education, she, she dropped out of school
43:49
in the eighth grade to go work in a factory because she was
43:53
very poor. But when we did well in school,
43:57
she felt like she was doing well in school.
44:00
And it gave her so much joy. And it gave me joy to see my mom
44:07
at 48 get her high school diploma.
44:10
That was something very special to help her with her spelling
44:15
and help her with her math so that she could finally graduate
44:19
high school. So I think I think I got that
44:24
from my mom and my dad that they were, they were children of
44:29
immigrants and they were very humble beginnings to see their
44:34
children grow was it gave them a lot of joy.
44:39
And I think they passed that on to us and they modeled it
44:43
because my mother, you know, she got her her driver's license
44:47
when she was 50. She got her 5050.
44:51
We grew up on the trolley even from a in Boston.
44:57
And she was an inspiration to from where she came to do what
45:01
she did. She was very inspiring.
45:06
She must have been thrown away when you graduated college.
45:08
And Aunt Kathy. She was so.
45:10
Proud eldest daughter graduates college and becomes this very
45:14
successful woman. And you so successful, all these
45:17
beautiful children. And my dad was a businessman.
45:21
Even though he came from nothing, he developed and grew a
45:25
business and we all helped with the business.
45:30
So I did get some. I think I got some
45:31
administrative skills from my dad.
45:34
And he he never went to college either, no.
45:37
So World War 2 veteran and then he went to work for the family
45:44
and that's what that was his lot in life and he made the best of
45:49
it. He really did worked very hard.
45:53
He was a hero in many ways. My dad.
45:56
He is a hero, Grandpa. He, he was, he is, he was.
46:03
I mean he's now past but so smart, like very talented man,
46:08
but very devoted to his family. His whole life was his family.
46:13
He had high standards too, so it is good he would say push your
46:19
kids but don't push them too hard.
46:23
Which is kind of a, a rephrasing of, you know, don't provoke your
46:27
child to anger. He, he had a lot of life skills
46:33
that were just passed down, I think culturally because he was
46:39
Italian. And I think a lot of sort of
46:42
Christian themes were ingrained in him, even though they weren't
46:49
a very practicing Catholic family.
46:53
You know, I think it was difficult for them coming from
46:55
Italy and adapting to the culture.
46:59
But he had a lot of, I would say, biblical ways of managing
47:04
his life. And he, yeah, he was very
47:09
balanced considering the tools that he was given, which were,
47:15
you know, limited compared to what's available to us today.
47:19
You, You often say that to me, which is you have you express
47:23
this idea of people doing the best they have with the tools
47:26
that they've been given. That's a phrase you've said my
47:28
whole life as a way to understand other people and help
47:33
them ultimately as well as understand ourselves and help
47:35
us. And it's a, it's a very
47:39
forbearing view, but also very positive view of other people to
47:43
say they're doing the best or maybe they only are doing what
47:46
they know to do with what they've been given.
47:49
And then identifying, especially if you're the mother or you're
47:51
the friend. How do I encourage this person
47:54
towards their full potential? Basically, is that what Grandpa
47:59
Grandpa had that approach you got?
48:01
That from him maybe I really do kind of makes me ponder, you
48:10
know, people who rely on therapy and, and this need to sort of go
48:22
back and heal everything that's happened in the past.
48:28
And and there's, there's that's very useful and it's a good
48:33
thing to aspire to. But at some point we just have
48:39
to live. We have to move forward with the
48:44
hurts, the pains, the tools, the lack of tools, whatever.
48:50
We want to just really, really aspire to move forward and to do
48:58
better and not to look back so much as to what wasn't there,
49:06
but to take what was there and build upon it and improve upon
49:10
it. And I think that's kind of ties
49:13
in with serving others and being more outward in our focus
49:19
instead of inward all the things that are wrong.
49:22
And I think what ails a lot of young people today is purpose.
49:26
And you've talked about this a lot.
49:30
Just what what are, why are we here?
49:32
What are we living for? Are we living to, you know, look
49:37
inside ourselves and right every wrong that's been done to us or
49:42
figure it all out? Or are we just going to look
49:45
outside of ourselves and, and be thankful for what we do have and
49:51
just move forward in our lives and try to improve upon what we
49:58
have been given and whatever healing that we have
50:04
experienced? Be thankful for that and trust
50:08
that God is going to work it out and he's going to be with us
50:11
every step of the way. No matter what our past hurts or
50:16
disadvantages or whatever we've had, we can still move forward.
50:23
And I think that that's kind of the immigrant spirit.
50:26
You know, they leave the old country behind and they leave
50:30
the, the picking the olives behind and they forge my, my
50:35
grandfather's family was they, they grew olives and they were
50:39
peasants in Italy. And then he came to the United
50:42
States when he was 15 and he built the railroads.
50:46
He did manual labor. He built the railroads.
50:49
And then he, he drove a horse drawn buggy and he brought coal
50:54
to homes to, to heat them and ice for in the in the summer,
50:59
coal in the winter. And he just moved forward and
51:03
had a family and, and he couldn't look back because he
51:09
had to move forward. And I think all of us, we, we
51:12
have that opportunity, so many, so much more opportunity today
51:17
to do that. So he he was a, he was a great
51:21
model. And I don't know where how I
51:23
digress, but what was the question?
51:26
I don't remember the question, but that was a good good.
51:28
It makes me think we're we're very in the modern era.
51:31
We can get very focused on ourselves, of course.
51:34
And then the constant sort of question of like trauma healing
51:37
from our childhood. And I will admit, I have, I
51:40
think, dwelled in this in the past too much too, even writing.
51:44
I look back on my book Fighting for Life, which I wrote now.
51:47
I think it's been, has it been five years that they wrote that
51:49
book? Or maybe it's been, yeah, I
51:51
think it's five years now. I wrote Fighting for Life.
51:53
It was published 4 years ago, but I wrote it five years ago
51:57
anyways. And I remember discussing it
51:58
with you and you were saying, well, this is how you see your
52:02
life and your, your activism and your journey at this time.
52:04
So, you know, it's authentic to who you are today.
52:07
You were very, you know, you gave me your blessing because I
52:09
shared some personal things in the book as well as obviously
52:11
the the trajectory of my pro-life work.
52:14
But I remember you making some comment, you might look back at
52:16
this differently in the future. And even just four years later,
52:19
I'm like, there were things I would tweak in my retelling of
52:22
events, Not that I would change what happened because it what
52:25
happened happened. But it's more that I think in my
52:28
20s as a younger woman, I was much more focused on, you know,
52:33
figuring out myself, You know, I knowing my strengths and
52:36
weaknesses, you know, understanding my childhood,
52:39
figuring out what I wanted for the future.
52:41
They're not bad questions. They're good questions to
52:43
explore. We talked about them on the
52:45
show. But to your point, you can go
52:48
down these these journeys of self introspection too much too
52:53
far instead of identifying the truth and moving forward, always
52:58
forward like the immigrant, like you're saying.
53:00
That's also, by the way, St. you know, borough Sarah's phrase,
53:02
always forward, always forward, always forward.
53:06
Anyways you can it it, it. It can be a modern issue to
53:11
dwell too much on one's wounds, and we should know a sense of
53:16
our wounds, our weaknesses, offer them to God if we need
53:20
psychological help for something.
53:21
You and dad have been very much supportive of psychological
53:24
help, healing, you know, physical depression, things like
53:26
that. That's all part of a package.
53:28
But there can be an overmatch tendency to focus on one's
53:32
perceived slights, wounds, even faults, whatever it is.
53:37
And the best way at the end of the day to to heal and become
53:41
who we're created to be is forward motion towards God and
53:45
in service of other people because that God ends up filling
53:48
up our identity. God ends up making us who we're
53:51
called to be. And we learn God through
53:54
devotion to him in our hearts and our minds and our activities
53:57
and to other people. So anyways, that's a very long
53:59
winded way of saying what you already expressed beautifully.
54:01
But I'm learning, you know, as I'm getting older, I'm seeing
54:05
the, the value of that. And I just look at the, the, the
54:08
remarkable difference between your parents generation, your
54:11
grandparents generation, what I know of them, your, you and dad,
54:14
even your generation and some of the issues in my generation and
54:19
now like the up and coming Gen. Z generation.
54:22
And we can all learn from each other.
54:24
Yes, yes. But I think there is we're so we
54:29
have so much material stability, so many opportunities, so much
54:33
freedom right now. The big questions, of course,
54:36
what are we going to do with what we've been given?
54:39
Or are we going to complain or compare or dwell or brood on,
54:45
you know, the things that we don't like or the things that we
54:48
think are holding us back? Like are we going to have that
54:50
immigrant pioneering spirit about moving forward and
54:53
creating beautiful things for God?
54:56
I don't know. I mean, it's a, it's a, it's an
54:57
ongoing lesson we have to learn. I remember thinking for a bunch
55:03
of years, looking back on my childhood and my parents and
55:08
realizing everything that they did wrong, like I couldn't, like
55:12
I knew, and just asking myself, did they really do the best that
55:18
they could? Couldn't they have done this or
55:21
that or this or that? And why didn't they?
55:23
This and so forth. And then you get to a point
55:28
where it's like a revelation. You realize, yes, they did the
55:35
best they could with the tools that they were given.
55:39
And that gives so much peace to because there's there's nothing
55:46
to regret at that point when you look at your own parents and
55:52
your own formation as it was what it was and they did the
55:57
best that they could. Because we don't know what
56:01
challenges they faced. We don't know what traumas they
56:04
had. We don't know what contributed
56:08
to their failures or their successes.
56:11
And it's kind of futile to go down that path.
56:16
As you stated so eloquently, instead of moving forward,
56:20
there's so much more fruit in moving forward and being
56:24
grateful for what was good and nurturing that.
56:30
I think there's a lot of people who who don't even want to have
56:32
kids today or they're afraid of, you know, certain commitments
56:36
because of the trauma or the mistakes or just the world as it
56:41
is and all its imperfections. And I think what's so beautiful
56:44
about your approach to life is that it's always a yes.
56:47
Yes to life, yes to the extra baby, yes to the extra friend,
56:51
yes to the extra person at the dinner table.
56:53
It is truly life in full abundance.
56:58
And I would add to that with Christ as our model, he's the
57:03
ultimate unconditional lover of our souls.
57:08
And if we can just model that in a small way, especially with our
57:14
children, because I think sometimes the, the, the ego of
57:20
the parent can get very mixed up with the successes or failures
57:26
of, of the children. And that's a very toxic path to
57:30
go down. But to look at our children as
57:35
Christ looks at us to love them to, to aspire to love them
57:40
unconditionally as Christ loves us and our spouses as as well,
57:46
our husbands, wives, friends, family, everyone.
57:51
That unconditional love is just so so it's life giving to the
58:01
soul and Jesus is our model for that.
58:07
So. Thanks for loving me that way,
58:09
Mama. I try to you do, that's what I
58:14
would hope to do you do every day.
58:16
And I hope that I I know that you're going to do that with
58:20
your children. And everything that I have done,
58:22
whether it's my education, my faith, I have done.
58:25
I have the gifts that I have, I should say, because they're
58:27
given to me. But it's you and dad live
58:30
action, what we've been able to build because of your support,
58:34
this podcast, cheering it on when we had nobody listening,
58:37
you know, and you were listening.
58:39
Thank you. Well, people will will say to
58:44
me, aren't you so proud of Lila and I am so proud of you, but
58:48
I'm much more blessed than I am proud.
58:52
I really that's I can't even explain it in words.
58:58
You you've been such a blessing, even from little little toddler,
59:04
such a blessing. You were always so eager to, to
59:09
please and to engage. And I remember you, I had so
59:17
many pregnancies because you were #3 right, So there were so
59:21
many pregnancies. And as you grew, you would take
59:25
care of me. You would fluff up my pillows at
59:28
night before I went to bed and rub my feet.
59:33
And you just were just so loving.
59:35
And it was I, I can't imagine the first daughter more
59:42
wonderful than you. You were, you were beautiful in
59:45
every way. And I'm so thankful for that.
59:48
I. Love you.
59:50
Mama, you were a good girl. I'm trying to be.
59:53
No, you were. You are a good girl.
59:56
Back in the day. And Gigi's going to be a good
59:58
girl. Little daughter she's she's a
1:00:00
firecracker of my one year old. She's so sweet.
1:00:03
It's it's delightful to see you in her and also to see Joe in
1:00:08
her. She's tough like her dad.
1:00:10
She's, she's a, she's a good one, Chichi.
1:00:14
I love you, Mama. Thank you for talking with me.
1:00:16
We're going to do Part 2 if that's OK.
1:00:20
Whatever. You only got so far this
1:00:21
episode. Whatever you want.
1:00:23
Thanks so much for watching this episode with my mom.
1:00:25
I hope you enjoyed it. Show it some love if you enjoyed
1:00:28
it because I want to get her back on the show and she's very
1:00:30
kind of self-conscious about doing media, which is because
1:00:33
she's such a beautiful, humble person.
1:00:35
But anyways, I want her back in the show.
1:00:36
So tell us if you like this episode.
1:00:38
Also, you can show your support by going over to
1:00:41
rosereport.supercast.com. We actually have an additional
1:00:45
30 minute interview with my mom there with the Q and as from you
1:00:48
guys. So we got questions from our
1:00:50
social media followers, the shows account you guys sent your
1:00:53
questions, I asked them of my mother got a little personal.
1:00:56
It was a lot of fun. You can go watch that over at
1:00:58
rosereport.supercast.com by becoming a subscriber.
1:01:02
Thank you so very much for your support.
1:01:04
It means the world to me. And I'll see you over at
1:01:06
rosereport.supercast.com. And a huge thank you to EWTN
1:01:10
Eternal Word Television Network, which is the largest religious
1:01:13
broadcaster in the world. You can get access to Lila Rose
1:01:16
Show episodes 24 hours in advance at ewtn.com.
1:01:21
Slash on demand and a big thank you to EWTN and their incredible
1:01:24
mission to bring souls to Jesus.