Latest / No Latency / NL: SIDEQUEST - Santa Sweep - Pt.1 "Delayed Delivery"

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NL: SIDEQUEST - Santa Sweep - Pt.1 "Delayed Delivery" · No Latency

0:03
Welcome to no latency. Sidequest a bonus podcast with
0:08
special guests that affects the main story of no latency.
0:11
This time retro is caught up in a Christmas death, sweep
0:15
adventure with special. Guest stars Bryce, Pablo playing
0:19
Plumpton. The Netrunner, Jordan, Michael
0:22
Whitby playing cave the fixer and Alex Stevens.
0:25
Playing a do near the rocker boy.
0:27
Although these characters have known retro for quite a while.
0:30
This Christmas, they get to meet in person for the very first
0:33
time. What will retro get his friends?
0:36
This Caesar in night City? Sometimes the greatest gift is a
0:40
really good secret, but for retro this year, it's perhaps
0:45
keeping those Secrets hidden, Shall We Begin?
1:00
Hi guys, I'm gonna go ahead. I'm just gonna fucking, I'm
1:02
gonna just fucking bash this thing until until I'm dead.
1:05
And then, hopefully, once it all attacks me and I take all the
1:09
points, you can just DPS it to death.
1:12
All right. Just don't waste my buff this
1:16
time. All right.
1:17
Well we don't heal her. I wish I could come but Rick
1:23
didn't show up. So, no healer.
1:25
We gotta, we gotta handle this. Anyways, yeah.
1:27
Wasted bricks. Coming somewhere else, all of
1:31
your adventures in the game Crest Over the Hill Park.
1:35
From the rate of voice booms. Welcome to the darklands.
1:40
The boss is before you, he's wearing a Santa hat.
1:44
Oh shit. I don't have pain has like eight
1:52
tentacles, but a Santa face. Creatures you guys gotta do it.
2:01
It's one guy on his own. Who doesn't have a party?
2:05
Hi. Come on.
2:12
We gotta we gotta get in there. Okay I'm coming.
2:14
I'm coming put one hand over your eyes and thinking and shoot
2:20
whatever spells you got. Okay.
2:23
I run towards him and I shoot my biggest spell, which is a bunch
2:28
of seawater. Everyone roll something bullshit
2:34
your way. I'm going to just rush in
2:39
because, you know, it's just my character, a giant buff
2:43
Barbarian only wearing a loincloth but has a square brick
2:47
for a head helmet and charging in with double giant battle
2:53
axes, right to the face of Santa.
2:56
I'm going, I'm trying to catch the eyes out and I got an 82.
3:01
Oh shit and you were successful you managed to gouge out one of
3:05
the tentacle I eyes on and on the screen it turns into a
3:11
mosaic because it's so disgusting and and the blood
3:15
falls to the ground and you get an XP bonus and the creature
3:18
Wales backwards. Come on.
3:27
Carlos Rivera. It's not a time to climb up at
3:30
Donia. What character you're playing.
3:33
I am just playing this little So in the back, just got a really
3:38
big head piece over her ears. And she just watching and just
3:43
kind of like smirking and be like, everybody is a fucking
3:46
idiot and just pulls out a gun and shoots the thing.
3:51
See you pull out this this this musket in the game and it's
3:56
loaded with a lightning bullet. This lightning bullet Cascades
4:00
through and hits the water in front and electrifies the whole
4:02
thing, but also electrifies retro because you didn't tell
4:05
him about It has character, like, comically shakes and the
4:10
skeleton shakes. And if you look at the skeleton,
4:12
you noticed the skeleton has a Santa hat.
4:20
And you get a team hit bonus to your XP and you steal his XP
4:24
bonus. Is it transfers over to your
4:32
cave? What are you doing on the
4:34
battlefield? I knew you were gonna do that
4:36
and cave in caves rather small in stature, Druid nature, Caster
4:43
is running. And right, and left, and right
4:46
dodging, all of these, all of these shots that are up there,
4:51
flying over his head from, it happens every rate and he is
4:56
just dodging back and forth, putting up like nature, and
5:00
Arcane barriers, to try and keep retro for getting hit as much
5:05
with the collateral damage. Yes, I'm not tired of it at all,
5:14
every God. Goddamn time.
5:16
Not a waste of my may not in the slightest.
5:19
Maybe you could put it towards other things like sharing.
5:22
It's fun. One of the tentacles casts
5:25
forward and one of your protection wall shoots up,
5:27
cutting it in half, and you unlock an achievement in the
5:31
game, which covers the whole screen and unfortunately, the
5:35
you did roller crit fail in this.
5:38
So one of the tentacles as you're being like I didn't know
5:40
it could do that. It's Max.
5:42
You across your character flies sideways and there's a big
5:44
whammo. On the screen this and it makes
5:48
everyone chuckle. But you did do some damage it
5:51
now has one less tentacle, however Clapton's been messing
5:57
around and unfortunately his found a glitch in pressing a
6:02
bunch of buttons. He's managed to unlock some kind
6:06
of weird dormant code with a DLC that never got released and his
6:11
whole body trembles in the in the dark space.
6:15
That you're in, he turns into the same Beast as the boss and
6:19
then it coughs on them covers them in a huge cloud of digital
6:23
pix elated mush as the whole thing.
6:26
Melts into an egg and explodes into a Christmas present, opens
6:31
up and out of this Christmas present in front of you, is a
6:35
big sign that says, you did it Merry Christmas and then the
6:37
screen goes, black will get returned to the tavern in the
6:42
game, like a celebration music and some credits.
6:45
I'm saying is once again, I personally one.
6:49
And I'd like to thank you all for making that possible for me.
6:54
Thanks Rio blizzard Activision. You just be glad I don't have a
6:58
lightning done in real life otherwise you'd be fucked.
7:02
Yeah, if you had, if you had one, I probably would be.
7:05
You'd probably fry me. Consistently all the time.
7:08
I'd be wearing a ground. Wait, did you say fry please?
7:14
No, don't talk about frying. It reminds me of clams.
7:18
Please, feel like everything has to remind you of clams.
7:22
Oh, a little bit. Jesus.
7:24
No, please don't talk about them.
7:26
I can feel it happening my body. Crushed it into a clap.
7:31
I've said it many times and I will say it again, therapy.
7:42
You know what, calcifer, I have got a great Six Ripper doc that
7:47
does wonderful therapies that I've been going to him?
7:51
Their name is dr. Sawtooth awesome.
7:53
You know what? I'll get I'll get you that for
7:55
Christmas. I'm gonna put it on my list.
7:57
So that's why I have 2 pairs of whole that comes up in the bar
8:02
that you're sitting in, in the chat.
8:05
What did you get people for Christmas?
8:11
I don't really know all of you, I'm sorry.
8:15
I was gonna get you stuff but I thought it always clam stuff so
8:19
I couldn't do it, just do it. And to think I got you such a
8:23
nice gift and now I'm going to have to return it.
8:27
No. Wait, what is it?
8:28
Please. I want to get to know now that I
8:31
know how little, I mean to you, I can draw you a picture.
8:37
It's all right, we still got arisaka.
8:38
Prime, we can still get all our stuff that way, pretty quickly.
8:42
Speaking of Asian to pull up my Arisaka Priceless real quick.
8:49
Let's see. Let's go.
8:50
Number three for a Donia. Number two, for calcifer, and
8:54
number five for retro. Thank you.
8:58
They're all well, you'll see. 200 Daddy's is deducted from
9:01
your account. Let me see her.
9:05
Okay, so I had to get, I got all II.
9:08
I got all your gifts, but I still need to get gifts from my,
9:12
my crew. I need to get some Red Ryder,
9:15
Gun oil, I guess some nozzles, and then I get parts for couple
9:22
of weapons. Yeah, I just have to go to
9:25
arisaka. Prime.
9:27
Hopefully they can ship it to me today and I'll be all right,
9:31
what's this two-week waiting? There's another option for pick
9:36
up local. I gotta pick up local.
9:40
All right. Yeah.
9:42
I'll click pick up local. All right, I'll do that.
9:47
Type it in. Boom.
9:49
All right. Where do I go?
9:50
Pick up locally. You'll get a message saying when
9:53
it completes got that. Let's see here.
9:58
So calcifer, we get a grounding rod for you.
10:06
I don't know what to do cave cave is all.
10:09
Been a mystery for me. I've never really known what to
10:11
get cave. I mean, cave, what is it?
10:14
You really want for the holidays.
10:16
Well, guess they gave, I don't know what it is.
10:18
You do for work like other Hobbies outside of the game.
10:22
So like, tell me what's up. Yeah.
10:23
There's the I keep my work and my my personal life.
10:27
Very, very separate. Yeah, but he's still shit.
10:31
I mean, yes. But who doesn't?
10:34
Yeah, but look so remember the show.
10:39
Oh, that I sent you take its for a couple weeks ago that you
10:42
could go see the Wailing banshees.
10:44
Yeah. Sorry.
10:45
I couldn't make it. Unfortunately we had an issue.
10:48
So I wrap them. You want, I wrapped you, wrap
10:51
the Wailing banshees. Yeah, bullshit.
10:55
That's awesome. Yeah, as well as the they
10:58
changed the names, every like three weeks but there's the
11:02
immortal fungus and also in non-music.
11:07
If you seen Reeves Those those ads are also mostly be you mean
11:14
reuse reuse? The sign spinner?
11:17
Yeah. Oh man, I've got a, such a
11:20
LoveHate Thing for Reeves because like, you know, you
11:24
can't count on him to be there when you need them, but God
11:27
damn. Is he not just a lovable
11:28
charismatic son of a bitch? Oh, so lovable and makes me
11:33
Well, just about all of what I spent on your gifts while he
11:37
make you that much. Not emphasized spinning.
11:40
Oh yeah, wow, he still owes me fucking 20 at ease.
11:44
Oh yeah, no, he doesn't get the money.
11:46
Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, no.
11:49
He'd he agreed to a awful contract, I believe it.
11:57
Well, I mean, if we're going to be spilling all this, I mean,
12:01
what about what about everybody else?
12:03
So everybody don't know. What do you what do you do?
12:08
Well. Do a little bit of this.
12:11
I do a little bit of that. Mostly I perform, you know, a
12:20
lot of different things. Basically my gift to each and
12:22
every one of you is that I wrote the lyric for you and my new
12:25
song that I'm playing. So, yeah, you're welcome.
12:29
Hey, who do you play with myself?
12:32
And I also perform alone. So whoo-wee.
12:36
You're the road. True.
12:40
I just wanna like the one that's been like growing in the
12:44
underground scene right now. I keep hearing about.
12:46
Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't put that together.
12:49
How many people do you meet with my name?
12:51
Not a lot to be fair and I honestly am just realizing now
12:58
that maybe I might be enjoying a little bit too much weed and
13:02
kitten cash at this time. Laughs.
13:10
Yeah right now. So I just been bouncing around.
13:15
Yeah yeah I don't like to like really give people material
13:19
things because I think that everything is eventually going
13:21
to collapse into the fall the society.
13:23
But you know, lyrics Last a that's very sweet of you.
13:29
Thank you, sweet. Person is too sweet as a glare
13:33
Bono programs are a little more salty.
13:38
What the fuck is going on? With you, my guy so gang.
13:44
I haven't told you this but I'm a let Runner, maybe you knew
13:49
because I got that sick DLC just recently 5 moments ago.
13:54
Yeah, I was, I was very surprised on that little
13:58
jealous. I was like, what's going on?
14:00
What can I say? I'm a master at my master at my
14:04
job, but I am also a clam, a few months ago I was doing some
14:11
thinking, we're a client and I was in an architecture and I saw
14:16
this Damon and he was a clam and he came out of nowhere and he
14:20
attacked me and I couldn't fight back and and now I I don't think
14:25
I'm gonna turn into a clam but I'm pretty 100% sure that I'm
14:28
gonna turn into a clam. It's pretty freaky gang.
14:33
Every moment I look at the water and think, is that salt water?
14:38
I'm never sure. Anyways, that's what I do.
14:42
You know I got super maybe you should come and hang out with my
14:47
friends at my my favorite bar and you should come hit some
14:50
kitten. Catch with me that my kind of
14:52
loosen you up a bit. I want to feel loose.
14:55
Let's do it baby. You want to feel like somebody's
14:58
stealing your plural, kind of loose or Everyone receives a
15:04
message and stealing your Pearl. Oh my God!
15:15
No! Please!
15:27
What is it agent? Thank you agent.
15:33
So my arisaka Prime came in. Yes, sews mine and also
15:39
Warehouse 25 you to feel. I guess we're gonna meet in
15:45
person then oh no. Meet in person.
15:49
This is so exciting. I haven't had contact with
15:52
anybody in so long. I feel so good.
15:56
I'm concerned. Yeah, I got first.
15:59
This is funny. And now I'm like, Like a little
16:01
worried. Yeah.
16:03
See I think that's stage two because I thought it was funny,
16:06
then I was worried. And now I'm just kind of like
16:10
intrigued by it. I think about it.
16:23
Your delivery is waiting for pickup at warehouse 25.
16:27
And then there's I really want this kick you out there, happens
16:30
in the face. Kind of thing.
16:33
I like that. You even look at the ads
16:35
anymore. I don't look at anything very
16:38
long. Yeah, I got that same one.
16:41
Oh man this is it's being done made by ultimate packages and
16:46
shipping. This is the worst.
16:49
They're pretty sucky. I know I got some I got so mad
16:54
at them at one point. I literally tip the guy over in
16:57
one of their poor bodies, Well done, probably deserved it.
17:04
Oh, he deserved it. In fact, I was so fun.
17:06
I did it a second time when I went over there.
17:09
Yeah. Well I'm with boo-boo.
17:11
Was it the same guy? I think.
17:14
So, I'd like to believe. So for your sake, I hope it was
17:20
Okay, got it. They might think, I think that
17:23
more than one person deserves that working at that company.
17:25
I gotta think about one guy getting his own ship while him
17:28
twice, not once and twice, it's a porta potty, so they just all
17:33
his over. That's funny.
17:37
All right. What time are y'all going to go?
17:38
Pick up your shit? And we are not really doing
17:41
anything. Now, probably just jumping, my
17:44
dog. Just jump in my van and drive
17:46
down there, and he all need a ride.
17:48
Yes. With you all.
17:51
Look, so you're just send you details to, obviously, I'll just
17:55
call you on my tile. Then everybody.
17:57
So, no one else needs a ride, except for calcifer?
17:59
I'm good. All right, because of her, I'll
18:02
be there in like 10 minutes. Make it 15.
18:06
I love it. This is gonna be so much fun.
18:14
I'm bringing a flask that can bring to can do, thanks.
18:30
Night City. You look at a map of North
18:33
America somewhere on the western edge.
18:35
You'd see an Inky black dot with fingers, pressing into the side
18:38
of the continent. That's where you find night City
18:41
and somewhere in the middle of that.
18:43
Inky black dot is a giant smoking hole, like the universe
18:47
itself, Drew iron and shot straight through the city,
18:50
radiation turn the sky red, but our story starts a little
18:54
further, south In a dive bar, the shortstop Welcome to Night
18:59
City and welcome to cyberpunk edge of Extinction.
19:05
Infinite sided, dice presents, cyberpunk edge of Extinction, a
19:08
cyberpunk, read actual play. Watch now at youtube.com slash
19:13
at infinite, sided dice. Catch you later, Chairman's.
19:32
Prosper. How do you enjoy my 1976 VW van?
19:40
It's so cool. I feel like I'm a bug makes me
19:46
feel cool. Retro, I need you to row me two
19:49
things. Don't you?
19:49
Draw me a driving check and I need you to roll me.
19:52
Something to make sure the music on the radio is not terrible.
19:58
Okay so then hold on let me do driving check first yep that's
20:04
fine. Okay at some traffic will move
20:07
traffic was to gamble but fail I'm looking but it could be
20:23
worse. I mean, it helps remind me to
20:26
wash my hands forget when I met running.
20:32
So you know, transfer I kind of imagined you a little bit
20:38
different and like like Tommy, tell me this look that you're
20:43
not that you're showing me right now.
20:47
Well, I mean, I thought it would be cool if I just wear some
20:53
sweats and, you know, some sweats but on the top half and
20:59
also a helmet. But my own it's starting to look
21:03
strange. Every time I look at it, I think
21:07
it's starting to look like a clam devouring.
21:10
The pearl of my head. Yeah, yeah.
21:15
Um, you know it it would be it would probably not look like
21:21
that so much if you didn't like keep filing blue ridge's into
21:25
the brim of it, you turned to me.
21:30
And you see that Ivan. Why are you saying this?
21:33
I'm filing little Ridge. What do you mean?
21:38
What are you talking about? Well you're doing it right now
21:41
like you and you get literally getting metal shavings in in
21:45
Vanna White and now I got a vacuum that off because now
21:49
Jeff's gonna make a big deal about it.
21:53
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to Oh yes.
22:06
You don't want to get that in your food if you eat it.
22:14
Wash my soul God. They play this all the time.
22:21
I can't, doesn't it? Make you feel like you wanna
22:24
wash your hands? It does, what you want to wash
22:27
my hands a lot, which is like some freaky.
22:32
Like, they got some something in there that like, gets a worm in
22:36
your brain to make you do it. It's definitely some like
22:40
underground science shit. You're right, there's something
22:44
kind of weird about this song. Every time I hear that I feel
22:48
compelled to wash my hands. Yeah, it reminds me of this like
22:52
one song that my great grandpa told me about about.
22:57
They used to do this song about kids in cars that like everybody
23:01
hate it. What was it?
23:05
It was something called kids and cars, I don't know.
23:12
Both of you while personal grooming.
23:26
Howard, you're out of your jacket.
23:28
You pull a one-person sanitizer packet and wash your hands
23:33
Kalani. Instructions of the song Because
23:35
currently playing fears, the rest of for the rest of this
23:40
episode, you get plus one to your reputation.
23:51
What can I say like to follow instructions?
24:04
You managed to pull a metal shaving out your to hand.
24:07
And it works better on a major bonus but it feels nice.
24:12
And you arrived as the hand-washing song.
24:15
Finally finishes at warehouse, 25ml big, where small Warehouse
24:27
I've seen bear blown up bigger and you guys get out of the
24:33
vehicle. Anhedonia is standing outside,
24:36
just writing some shit down and a journal that I carry just like
24:40
about the description. One of the house, I'm trying to
24:43
come up with another sound. Wait a second.
24:46
You have a TV for a head which of you is?
24:49
Which what, who are you, you know that was that attitude?
25:04
You're literally a TV. Yeah, yeah.
25:08
I literally have a TV forehead surprised and you'll see a
25:12
exclamation mark and fireworks. Go off on my screen.
25:17
Whoa, that's sick. It's actually pretty cool.
25:21
All you have to do is lose your scone, almost have your brain.
25:24
Get destroyed to have something like this.
25:27
I just prefer to not but I'll keep that in mind.
25:31
If the Take care of her sides but you know, wait up, we're to
25:38
rock it, I guess. Yeah.
25:40
Version to version 2. Yeah, what-what else version 1
25:44
was an older TV set that I had, but that one got shot.
25:49
Did have S-Video, though. Jane, I think you look really
25:53
cool upgrades, calcifer. Do you actually look like a
25:56
clam? I have this helmet.
26:00
That looks kind of like a clam. But also everyone, although he's
26:04
saying it looks like a clam, it's a cycling helmet that he's
26:07
turned into his running loose. Please don't talk about clams
26:13
around me. I just feel it coming, like I
26:17
filled the shell wrapping around me, it's no lie, ever present,
26:22
you know, always watching Remy's gonna go ahead and just lie to
26:27
join and then like try to get calcifer to take a hit.
26:32
However, Isn't I just write down the she'll ever present?
26:34
I'm sure that's got to be a leak somewhere.
26:39
Okay, that means that the only person that were waiting for is
26:45
dino names, cave, cave. How do you arrive walking up
26:52
taking a giant Swig out of one of the two flasks?
26:56
Calcifer. Hit this shit.
26:59
Okay. Yeah, I'm in roll.
27:02
This torture drugs. Yeah.
27:07
Also, retro roll. Resist torture drugs.
27:10
We're still God. What are all these messages, 10?
27:15
Yeah, you're fine. Oh, this way, it's not
27:18
restaurant. But you'll find the TV was six.
27:23
You feel a little euphoric and for the rest of the episode, you
27:28
have a plus-one to something fun.
27:32
Mmm, to chill. I want it.
27:36
I want it to be something Roots. You get plus 1.
27:40
To dance, is it specifically to The Safety Dance, whatever,
27:47
whatever you want. If you want to if you get a plus
27:49
one to dance, you can use dance. Now I guess for the rest of this
27:52
episode and you're all outside the web so Adonia, you actually
27:57
look like you that makes sense and you too.
28:00
Well I don't know what I was expecting but this is not it.
28:05
You know who I am. Say my name.
28:12
I'm really learning that you're very rude and demanding of
28:17
people so much. That was just a character for
28:20
the game. I'm really pleased again do, but
28:24
I'm turning into a clam. You know, I really thought that
28:27
you were turning more into an oyster but I suppose.
28:30
I do see the clam esque resemblance here, please, excuse
28:34
my behavior. It's all the clams stuff.
28:38
Usually, I'm pretty chill, pretty kitchen and straight.
28:41
Vibe and baby I just kind of like rage over just like a
28:45
flask. Yep, just it's whiskey very
28:51
well. Let's let's let's not get salty
28:53
about this is it's the holidays. Come on, we're in Sugar.
28:56
Would you say if I said, let's not get salty about this.
29:02
What's all go get our stuff, come on.
29:05
And then afterwards you can you can come with me them to to my
29:08
Kick-Ass Friends Bar. A lot of that for all of us
29:13
there is that just for Galesburg that's well.
29:15
As for everybody I mean wait like this if you want to hit
29:19
this joint you can but it's almost a roach now I'm good.
29:23
Don't want to damage the vocal cords.
29:25
If Ya Wanna Do resist torture drugs, If you want more, I got
29:33
like 12 more. I look at this.
29:34
You get plus one to dance for the rest of it.
29:38
Then I've got one to Dance. I mean that's that's what
29:42
happens. Yep, so you guys are all
29:46
standing around the door of this Warehouse.
29:49
Can we all like kind of walk up Reservoir, Dog?
29:54
Ask sure. Yes.
29:57
Is that I guess? I mean, there's no one here to
30:00
see it but actually, you know what, if you three walk up, I
30:04
can record it. I don't think you want that to
30:07
be part of my reputation that I'm trying to just be for, just
30:12
be for us. Please, for the group chat, ya
30:17
gotta love the GC, I just will request that.
30:20
If we do this, we intentionally walk in slow motion.
30:23
Oh yes, do you want to give a speech?
30:31
Are you have to hum the pan washing-stand?
30:33
That's obviously humming the hand-washing song because I
30:40
can't. Yes.
30:58
Sounds good. I'm going going a damn it.
31:04
That is going to be stuck in my head.
31:05
Now though, the DVD was 10, huh? Is this not very difficult to
31:09
walk in until I'm at? Now, actually know, the TV was
31:11
like six, right? It's not hard to walk in.
31:14
It's not hard to walk in Slammer.
31:16
It was walking in slow motion. You look absolutely fantastic
31:20
and calcifer. Who rolled unfortunately a crit
31:24
fail on this slow motion falls to the ground.
31:29
In the video which is being filmed in slow motion even
31:32
though you're walking in slow motion and a donee.
31:35
You lean on the door is you laughs?
31:36
Yeah and door swings open Brosius up to open or me the
31:40
idea that are you okay, I'm not the one that fell on my ass
31:46
Masters hurt and your Armor gets a bladed by one.
31:53
Only your head on me though because you don't you head on
31:55
the ground? My poor head.
32:00
I think that that hit made it look a little bit more.
32:04
And I just walked into the warehouse.
32:08
When you walk in it's a one-room Warehouse, you can see like an
32:11
observation walkway, Stacks and stacks of crates underneath it
32:14
more crates underneath, what looks like to be an office.
32:17
It's labeled with a faded label that says office on the wall.
32:21
There's a stairway up to the observation deck so you could
32:23
get in there. And you can't really see into
32:25
the room because there are a bunch of boxes in here.
32:27
Question. Yes.
32:28
Does it look like nobody's been here in a very long time?
32:31
It looks like people aren't here today because it's a holiday or
32:34
it's near a holiday cash. I don't understand why did we
32:39
receive a message? If there's no one here because
32:43
our boxes could still be here. I'm getting the Jimmy's not,
32:49
Jimmy fear, you know, they're Jimi, Hendrix.
32:55
Yeah, the Jimi Hendrix of fear. We're really no one around here.
33:01
Hello roll, perception. Cuckoo everybody.
33:07
Everybody retro. You said hello into this room
33:11
and it echoes through the room. I'm waiting for a perception
33:14
check from everyone calcified. You're too concerned about their
33:19
slight deformation of your hat to really look around.
33:23
So you're not paying attention retro.
33:25
You notice that. There are footsteps echoing from
33:31
the room. And like a whirring noise
33:36
Adonia, you hear the footsteps, but not the wearing noise and
33:41
cave. You recognize the wearing noise.
33:47
Okay, that's great thing to hear.
33:49
It's fine. Everything's fine, what's fine?
33:52
Hey, I'm here to pick up my shit.
33:55
You need to shut the fuck up. That guy can hear shut up their
34:02
drones, the fucking drones, shut the fuck up, okay?
34:08
And out from one of the crates appears atoll man, wearing a lot
34:14
of armor and carrying a big gun and he looks at you all and says
34:23
he smiles at you creepily. He's wearing a Santa hat.
34:27
Yes, we got a letter. Yes.
34:31
Yeah I got my tracking number on my tile.
34:35
Good. Can I just get my stuff please?
34:38
Oh I'm sorry. There's been a mix-up.
34:43
There's no delivery but it's the end of your line for you.
34:49
I don't have a waiting line, we're just gonna kill you, I had
34:52
a pistol. I just showed up roll for
34:55
initiative, muhahaha We have rolled initiative and
35:01
unfortunately the man who just threatened, you rolled highest
35:05
the 15. That's bad.
35:09
So this big dude. Cocks shotgun poinsettia cave
35:14
and holds the trigger. Rolling a 10, the bullets fly
35:22
past you whipping, past your hair, causing it to like
35:27
flourish and it pings against the metal wall, that is a, that
35:35
is a weapon with a rate of fire of one sucks.
35:40
Move away Along this bitch and he, and he ruts to get away from
35:48
your site. Right.
35:49
Hiding behind some crates. And you lose your ability to
35:52
see. He is so the crates, they're all
35:56
stacked up pretty high, right? Yep.
35:58
You can't see past them. I would like to use my movement
36:05
running wise to charge into these crates here and hopefully
36:12
top of them over. Nice.
36:14
Okay. Sounds good Ralston bullshit for
36:16
me, I think. I'm going to take an educated
36:20
guess 20. Yes you can see that.
36:25
One of the boxes is in the middle.
36:27
Is already kind of off its mounting and it would be pretty
36:30
easy to push over doing this. Little bit of moment is your
36:34
bonus action for this turn and gives you a bonus to something
36:38
that would actually push a crate, which is not education.
36:41
Booze, is giving you an advantage.
36:44
I'll give you, I'll give you plus one to your roll.
36:47
They are Education is nothing like I thought.
36:52
Well, you know geometry? Yeah, it's going to give you a
36:56
plus one advantage. I'm just gambling on all this.
36:59
Okay. All right.
37:00
Well, you lose that plus 1 because you've taken too long
37:03
because you just write a crit - one, that's not enough, neither
37:06
of those are a physical thing or related to a physical thing.
37:10
Do something physical. Okay. 21.
37:24
Very good. Yes, you managed to knock over
37:27
the middle crate, and it Cascades out into the little
37:32
Corridor that it had created with the other boxes and falls
37:35
upon this soldier. In the warehouse, it crushes him
37:39
to the ground and causes more D6.
37:44
The Box. Crushing him causes a critical
37:47
injury crushing, half of his chest and you hear his lung pop.
37:55
Part of his side opens up and blood spurts across the ground
37:59
towards you. And that guy is very
38:01
incapacitated. You do not have to worry about
38:03
said human, I'm Klaus, true phobic.
38:11
Try to see if I could take a shot around the corner at the
38:15
Drone. You prep your shot but have run
38:19
out of actions. My guy damn.
38:22
But yeah, you've prepped a very good shot.
38:23
Well done. There is now a one of these guys
38:26
is completely incapacitated and now on the ground, the collapsed
38:29
lung. All right, I'm gonna run by in
38:32
this box, we run behind a box. X.
38:36
I'm going to take out my heavy pistol.
38:40
I'm gonna try and shoot that drawn right there, that do it.
38:49
You'll collect mrs. Entirely, and like ends up.
38:53
Ricocheting into some boxes, you do not score enough.
38:57
You rotten 11 the DV for this was 15 so sorry.
39:02
Okay, it's okay. Is that a heavy pistol?
39:04
What's the rate of fire? Was the rof to.
39:07
I believe you can roll it twice, no words and the other bullet
39:11
misses entirely you. Look at your gun in disbelief.
39:17
That it is, that shit, you are now down to Mo the Drone.
39:27
You were shooting at it is, it's turn after being shot at twice,
39:32
it decides to attack you plankton Out of the front of it,
39:37
a little door opens, and it fires out a ripper towards you
39:40
after moving a little closer role evasion and being 11, all
39:47
right, 13 the Ripper blade. Casts aside, you hid the boxes,
39:52
you dodge and then whips back into the Drone itself.
39:57
Oh, geez, as the breadth of Blade brachle chain, comes
40:03
wailing back to this. Drone here in the warehouse,
40:07
it's heavy SMG, its carrying underneath itself.
40:10
Fires at you missing entirely as a blitz, rip against the metal
40:15
wall, causing you to duck slightly.
40:17
It only rolled in eight, so you're okay.
40:23
I'm so scared from out of one of the corridors appears another
40:31
bodyguard. He steps forward using all of
40:36
his movement standing behind the Drone and aims at retro only
40:42
having enough time to really use his heavy pistol.
40:44
And he shoots at you rolling, just under the DV with 14, the
40:49
bullet hits, one of the cases He's behind you.
40:52
He pulls the trigger again and it hits you for an 18.
40:56
And you take five damage which honestly just kind of a Blazer
41:00
armor. I think you chipped my button
41:03
cave cave, just takes a take a step just away from all of all
41:11
of this clam nonsense. That's happening beside him.
41:13
Just as cool as a cucumber. Just takes one big step away
41:17
from from calcifer because that is too much to Deal with pulls
41:22
out his his pistol bass and treble.
41:26
And we'll fire shot out of each of them at the at the Goon just
41:32
as slow and methodical as possible.
41:35
Firing an 18 with base and 15 with treble.
41:39
Both bullets, hit basis, bullet Clips, one of the wings of the
41:43
Drone and it spins amusingly, taking one damage to its armor
41:48
and you cause nine and eleven damage respectively, taking out
41:53
a decent amount of this guy's arm as it flies off behind them
41:56
and falls to the ground. Now, you still want to do this
41:59
fight or do you want to leave alive?
42:02
Rob persuasion. Oh yeah, you think you've got
42:05
me? No, you do not motherfucker.
42:10
You will need roll. You roll a crit, fail.
42:12
Yep. The one thing that I'm supposed
42:15
to be resting as he's like very fucking Christmas Antonio walks
42:26
up and she's like like swinging around this giant.
42:30
What kind of looks like a metal stick but it's actually three
42:33
mic stands that she's like wrapped together to form this
42:36
giant fucking pole ends, like sick and a happy fucking New
42:40
Year and like baseball swings the drill.
42:42
Into the guy's head. Oh, sing!
42:45
All right, bullshit me a move. Okay, I think is awesome.
42:54
You just got to wait for this thing to load again.
42:59
So when you're saying bullshit move, can I still dislike news?
43:02
My melee weapon thingy, I'm setting up for you.
43:11
That's not right. That yeah, it will be a melee
43:15
weapon skill and it's three. Mic stands wrapped together so
43:21
it does 3D six. Yeah.
43:25
Which says that was a really fun thing to do.
43:29
Yeah. I'm I'm does like a tripod in
43:32
your bag to take the base of its really heavy so you don't drop
43:36
the mic and you're able to like swing it like a like a hammer.
43:41
Yeah. So I just have a GM.
43:43
I can help and I just because I think I get two Swings with the
43:48
melee weapon to the first one is trying to hit the Drone into
43:52
dude McGee. All right, so I'm going to say
43:56
the whole wow yeah. Alright.
43:58
Okay, this isn't gonna go well. Huh.
44:03
So the Drone rolls. 10 on Invasion.
44:05
Crack it in the middle and it flies backwards, almost
44:08
perfectly straight. And B are towards this guy role
44:13
that again. Because I have a thought it was
44:17
the to, but I think would be really funny if it works it.
44:21
Unfortunately, mrs. Him as he Ducks because you
44:24
rolled a crit fail. However, the Drone does take a
44:27
decent amount of damage. It hits the stairway and the
44:31
banister. One of the blades of the Drone
44:35
itself, flies, off and sticks into the ceiling, and it falls
44:38
into seven pieces and dice. They don't have a lot of Health.
44:42
They really are quite fragile, they can really hurt.
44:45
You but they are very easy to kill since I have to swing Swift
44:50
this. Yeah, I like so know you.
44:53
Your second swing was in hitting and I just I cackling the whole
45:00
time. This is.
45:01
So this is the best package delivery ever.
45:04
Gotten. The guy on the balcony, looks
45:10
down at the Drone as it's smashed to pieces.
45:15
During my brother limited doctor.
45:17
Hey, thanks quack, quack, right? Yeah, it's so funny when you
45:22
shoot those guys. Oh, yeah.
45:23
No, totally quack, quack. This guy shoots, his shotgun
45:31
over the top of this balcony. That's far, he misses he misses
45:39
entirely the shrapnel of the shotguns, blast hitting boxes,
45:43
and various pieces around. You, some of you feel like a
45:46
piece graze you, but it causes no damage.
45:48
Because here are the 15, and it was, at least a 20 to hit.
45:52
You Cox's gun one more time and he's choosing not to move.
45:58
So, he pulls out his heavy pistol and points it at Cave.
46:02
Hitting you in the chest for 13 damage, it rips through your
46:09
jacket and you see the Kevlar piece underneath Frey off and
46:13
hit the ground, your armor losses.
46:15
One damage and you take for damage because your honor takes
46:18
the rest. Yeah yeah but it was a first
46:22
Miss bitch, the Drone flies over the top of the balcony comes
46:31
down towards you and tries to shoot at retro because it's the
46:37
first plastic rolling. A 12 Point, Blank Range, missing
46:44
that An SMG as the bullets, Cascade around it.
46:47
Like the SMGs are not good for these.
46:49
Drones was a bad design choice, and they just like all over the
46:52
place as the bullets Cascade around.
46:54
You, you look really cool. You turn your head to one of the
46:57
other people that you're who do you turn your head to looking at
47:04
you and you turn your head is these bullets continue to pass
47:06
by you as the Drone. Misses the tragic love story.
47:10
Okay. If you think that's really cool,
47:12
yes, it's a really cool winky emoji.
47:16
I'm into it. The crush got a got body.
47:20
Got doesn't get a 10 because there's a box on top of him.
47:22
Well, looks like I'm up to Snow. Good, pull out my shotgun.
47:28
Stupid. I love it and I'm going to take
47:31
my first shot at the at The Bodyguard 18.
47:35
Yeah you hit him Square in the chest for 14 damage.
47:38
He falls backwards onto his bum. He goes under half Health.
47:42
Oh shit. Oh well that's the end of that.
47:45
Hey I just rolled double sixes so you blew his leg off.
47:49
Oh oh oh you. You you go to make a cool move
47:54
and you aim a little low and it hits him right in the hip you
47:57
blow. His fucking leg off backwards.
48:06
Blood goes everywhere and the guy paints and is bleeding out.
48:19
I'll just take my second shot at the drowned man, 21.
48:22
You hit the Drone Square. It peels like a banana mid air
48:27
and drops to the ground. Little bits of it electronically
48:31
sizzling, as it as it finishes and you rolled 21.
48:34
So out of a compartment of it rolls down onto the ground and
48:37
to your feet a smoke grenade. You got loot.
48:44
Now I'm just really interested in the smoke grenade.
48:46
Okay, there's one person left, there's A person left okay, you
48:50
got this, I'm going to go right here.
48:53
I'm going to say Hey you last person if you if you stop this
48:59
senseless violence. I'm going to tell you a big
49:02
secret you know that version over there.
49:05
That's the Adonia the music player.
49:09
He told the smile. Well actually there's new band.
49:13
This is your real secret stuff here.
49:19
Can I get to where the body is basically up on the stairs?
49:25
Everybody that that Rose going to shoot again?
49:29
We love you so much, Plankton 13, if you see you got as close
49:34
as you could. That's enough bullet Cascades
49:39
for drips off. A huge piece of his armor.
49:41
The bullet goes straight through.
49:42
His eye comes out the other side and the guy drops to the ground
49:45
like a sack of shit combat. I start looking for my package,
49:57
I'm just gonna go over to calcifer, Pat him on the back
50:00
and just say, hey, looks like you got final sled.
50:04
This is real special gay IRL killed someone and as the dust
50:09
settles on your battle and the man under the box slowly dies,
50:13
you will get a message. Deer are Soccer Prime customer
50:21
due to unforeseen circumstances all deliveries.
50:24
This holiday season been canceled as per the purchase
50:29
agreement. Even refunded 10% of the items
50:31
value round down to the nearest hundred Eddie's other dude.
50:37
Going on investigations up for the comments time or guarantee.
50:40
When the service will turn customers are advised to cancel
50:43
their subscriptions before the next payment date.
50:45
Report charges very holiday season.
50:48
Arisaka, motherfuckers, the fuck Buddy.
50:52
Hackett those Ramen bowls. Nobody Does this to my friends
50:57
IRL. We gotta start some shit, gang,
51:00
there's something funky going on.
51:03
Seems like it agent clip out the last minute, and a half of
51:11
recording, just save that for me.
51:17
If you want that fight for like a real or something Adonia.
51:21
Like I've got it. I got my own Google.
51:24
Thank you though. I'll take a copy of Yosemite
51:30
Sam. Can I just go over and sit on
51:34
the box? That's crushing the one guy.
51:37
Yeah, he's dead. Yeah, I just want to sit on it.
51:39
So what are we gonna do? As you sit on the box, you
51:44
notice just above the Aviation walkway is a big screen and it's
51:50
like just the screen they put stuff on for people when they're
51:52
like doing work. And the news is on retro, you
51:56
know, the frequency of this building.
51:57
So if you wanted to turn the TV on, you could use my TV powers
52:01
to turn up the volume. Put this is network 54 with your
52:09
host April amount of us. Days off the naughty list and
53:24
I'll tell you who took down. Harris actor, pry.
53:38
And Merry Christmas evening and goodnight City.
53:55
The news freezes and a sequence of images with death, sweep time
53:59
repeats on the screen only shirt.
54:03
So we're killing them, right. And we hold on one second
54:05
though. Wait, do I said you want to kill
54:09
them or? Yeah.
54:11
Okay, I'm all for that for sure. Yeah, that guy seems like a dick
54:28
Next time on no latency Cycles. What do you think we should do
54:38
about it? Re different things called Death
54:40
sweep like a week. You know how many people try and
54:42
use that as a band name? I know that van.
54:44
Yeah. Did you not also hear what
54:47
they're offering as the prize? No, I think he wants your
54:50
buttery nipple. Yeah, this slightly
54:52
inconvenience me so dead. I am on the list.
54:56
Looks like I made the list to me.
54:58
Two-bits retro. You said it multiple times and I
55:01
just want to be 100% clear. I'm gonna text.
55:04
In real quick. They know a lot these people
55:08
clearly have a lot of power and know, a whole bunch of shit.
55:11
Imagine what happens if I hit both shots?
55:14
You should give up. No, I didn't know you'd shake
55:16
it. That's business.
55:18
And I look over to the next guy. What the hell is frankincense?
55:21
It's a spice! Oh, no.
55:24
I'm already on three drugs right now.
55:26
Did the other guy have a Santa hat as well?
55:27
Or was it just that one? Thank you for joining us on our
56:05
adventure once again here at no latency.
56:09
Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at no latency pod, check
56:13
out our website at no latency podcast.com.
56:16
And if you'd like to support us further, we have a patriarch,
56:20
get exclusive content, spin-offs bonus episodes, bloopers ad-free
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56:27
to our supporters and even spice up your own cyberpunk.
56:31
Red games at home? No matter.
56:33
ER what level your support. Thank you again.
56:36
So much for listening. We literally couldn't do this
56:39
without you and of course we'll see you next time in night City.
56:45
Thanks for listening gym. Thanks for listening gym.