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Transcript

Messy Advice... | Loving Without Liking · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

• 0:00
  This one's for anyone who's ever seen a certain name pop up on their phone
• 0:04
  and suddenly remembered they had somewhere else to be, even if that
• 0:07
  somewhere was just under a blanket. Let's be
• 0:11
  honest, sometimes it's not deep trauma or spiritual warfare,
• 0:15
  it's just a personality clash with someone who makes small talk feel
• 0:18
  like a hostage situation. Imagine someone signs up to drop
• 0:22
  off groceries as part of a care initiative. The recipient opens the
• 0:26
  door, critiques the bag packing, and asks if if next time they could bring the
• 0:30
  good yogurt. Nothing tests the fruit of the spirit like being
• 0:33
  micromanaged at the door with arms full of apples. Welcome
• 0:37
  to Messy Advice for People Who Care, a summer series from Journey with Care for
• 0:41
  anyone who's ever felt called to serve someone they wouldn't exactly invite
• 0:44
  to game night. We're talking about caregiving, boundaries, burnout, and
• 0:48
  the not so clear moments of loving others well minus the
• 0:52
  formulas. This is Johan on the edge of helpful
• 0:56
  reminding you that loving your enemies was a command,
• 0:59
  not a suggestion for people in better moods. This one digs
• 1:03
  into a tension we all face at some point. What you do in
• 1:07
  the care God calls you to costs more than what you wanna
• 1:10
  give. Let's get right into the question. I know we're
• 1:14
  supposed to love our neighbors, but what if I just don't like them?
• 1:18
  Is it still love if I'm doing it out of obedience and not emotion?
• 1:23
  That's a brutally honest question, and it hits a nerve, doesn't it?
• 1:27
  Because most of us have someone we love mostly because
• 1:30
  Jesus told us to. According to a 2023
• 1:34
  survey from the Canada Center for Caregiving Excellence, fifty two
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  percent of caregivers said one of the most difficult parts of
• 1:42
  caregiving is dealing with challenging personalities.
• 1:45
  Translation, you're not a bad Christian. You're a normal
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  human with preferences, boundaries, and one last
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  nerve. So if it's hard to care when your heart's not in
• 1:56
  it, you're not alone. But maybe that's exactly when love
• 2:00
  becomes something deeper. Sometimes loving your
• 2:03
  neighbor looks less like feelings and more like,
• 2:07
  lord, help me not roll my eyes while I fill this coffee.
• 2:11
  Imagine this. You've just finished a long week. You're tired,
• 2:15
  overstimulated, and your people pleasing reserves are running
• 2:19
  on fumes. Then you see the text, hey. Can we
• 2:23
  talk? From that person, the one who always needs
• 2:27
  more than you have. Your stomach drops. Your brain
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  starts drafting a polite no, but your spirit whispers,
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  be present. And you sit, you listen,
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  you love imperfectly, but truly. Now
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  let's get into some scripture. Let's get biblical.
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  Biblical. We're gonna talk about Jonah. You all know
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  the story. The guy gets a direct call from God.
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  Go to Nineveh and share my message. And Jonah's
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  like, cool, cool, cool. Or I could sail in the
• 3:01
  exact opposite direction. He wasn't confused.
• 3:05
  He just didn't like the people. He didn't want them to
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  experience grace. He thought they didn't deserve it.
• 3:12
  After a bit of fish related character development, Jonah
• 3:16
  finally goes. But even when Nineveh responds and repents,
• 3:20
  he's mad. He says, I knew you'd forgive them. That's
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  why I ran. And god responds with, not a
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  lecture, but a question. Shouldn't I care about
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  them too? Here's the thing. Jonah
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  obeyed, eventually, but he never softened.
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  His heart was still closed even while his feet walked in the right
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  direction. And that's the warning and the grace. You
• 3:46
  can do the right thing with a reluctant heart, but god's
• 3:50
  always inviting us to something deeper than duty. He doesn't
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  just want our help. He doesn't even need our help, but he
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  wants our hearts to learn how to hold tension even when
• 4:01
  love feels hard. So if you're loving someone who grates on
• 4:05
  your nerves, congrats. You're living the gospel.
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  You're living the way God wants you to live. Don't wait for
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  those warm feelings. Start with presence.
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  Ask God to do what only he can, soften your edges and remind
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  you that you are someone he loves even on your most
• 4:23
  difficult days. And, hey, you might even be that person someone
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  finds difficult to love but does anyway. If this hits a little
• 4:31
  close to home, it's okay. Hard love doesn't mean fake love. It
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  just means that you're growing and that we have capacity to grow
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  in the love that god has called us to. It's an invitation.
• 4:44
  If you got questions like this or if you're wrestling with things like this,
• 4:47
  join our Care Impact podcast group on Facebook and join a group
• 4:51
  of like minded people asking the same questions. And until next time,
• 4:55
  keep loving, keep laughing, and if you ever smiled while
• 4:58
  muting their call, you're still on the journey, and always
• 5:02
  remember to stay curious.