Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Spicy Mari is a Matchmaker, Relationship Expert, Founder and CEO of The Spicy Life, Inc.

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Spicy Mari is a Matchmaker, Relationship Expert, Founder and CEO of The Spicy Life, Inc. · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

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  Speaker 1: secrets of success experience firsthand bym marketing a Brandon expert
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  Speaker 1: decision make because it's what he likes to do, It's
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  Speaker 1: what he likes to ship. Now it's time to hear
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  Speaker 1: from my man, Shan McDonald money making Conversations. Here we come.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Money Making Conversations. I am your host from
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  Speaker 1: Sean McDonald. I always tell people it's time to start
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  Speaker 1: reading other people's success stories and start writing your own.
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  Speaker 1: And I always tell people to leave with your gifts
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  Speaker 1: and don't let your age, friends, family, or coworkers stop
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  Speaker 1: you from planning or living your dreams. My interviews I
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  Speaker 1: have on money making conversations with celebrities, CEOs, entrepreneurs and
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: industry decision makers. Not today will include love mash makers.
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  Speaker 1: My next gust is Spicy Marty. She is a magnetic
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  Speaker 1: matchmaker and relationship expert who's focused on encouraging individuals and
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  Speaker 1: couples to unlock the power of their passion in order
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  Speaker 1: to attract their purpose mate. She is the founder of
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  Speaker 1: the Spicy Life and we'll discuss Spicy Marty's career journey
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  Speaker 1: and the Spicy That's sp i c Y fundamentals. Please
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  Speaker 1: welcome to Money Making Conversations. Spicy Marty. How you doing,
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  Speaker 1: I'm doing thing? Thank you for having me. Well great,
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  Speaker 1: great for coming on the show. You know about relationships
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  Speaker 1: and we come out of COVID. You know, I remember
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: doing COVID. I was like, boy, I'm so glad I'm
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: not in the game. Boy. You know you couldn't you know?
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  Speaker 1: You know if you kiss somebody, you're gonna get COVID.
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  Speaker 1: Relationships are like COVID. You know, you know, the online
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  Speaker 1: and apps was just exploding these relationships swapping right, left,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: swipe covid left, wipe covid right. It was just, uh,
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  Speaker 1: it was just really crazy. And now you you said
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  Speaker 1: during that period your business flourished. Yeah, you know, I
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  Speaker 1: almost there's a little bit of um guilt when I
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  Speaker 1: say like this, This was amazing for me, right because
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  Speaker 1: there was so many charnship going on, um from a
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  Speaker 1: financial level to a romantic level for you know, the
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  Speaker 1: entire world. But being in an industry that focuses on
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  Speaker 1: helping you find love and your purpose made actually it
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  Speaker 1: was opening awakening experience for a lot of folks. I think,
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  Speaker 1: UM deciding like, hey, this is time for me to
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  Speaker 1: get serious. Who knows, if I'm going to spend another
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  Speaker 1: year in quarantine isolated, I really shouldn't, you know, take
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  Speaker 1: my companionship and relationship growth serious. So, because our fundamental
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  Speaker 1: elements are based off of self passion, intimacy, communication, and
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  Speaker 1: learning to say yes, a lot of people decided that
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  Speaker 1: they were going to invest in themselves, uh and make
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  Speaker 1: sure that they don't spend one alone. And so business
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  Speaker 1: has been amazing. What we're gonna talk about your business
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  Speaker 1: and the model in the minute, which is love. Well,
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  Speaker 1: I want to go back to you know, we don't
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  Speaker 1: always start there. You know, it was at I Heart Media,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: which I'm very familiar with because Steve Harvey and I
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  Speaker 1: did our syndication contract with I Hard and two thousand
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  Speaker 1: five and he's still with our herd medium for in fact,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: my podcast Money Making Conversation is on the I Heart
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  Speaker 1: Media platform. And then you did work with HBO and
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: uh talk about of that stought in that area. And
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: then we're gonna go back to college. We're gonna kind
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: of like go there and then go back to college.
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  Speaker 1: Then we're gonna come back. Understand, Hi, you into this
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  Speaker 1: love making spicy zone. So my career journey has definitely
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  Speaker 1: been diverse, right, but everything that I've done has led
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  Speaker 1: me to this point. So I realized at an early
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  Speaker 1: age then my purpose of my calling was to connect people,
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  Speaker 1: and understanding that that was a part of my spiritual gifts,
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  Speaker 1: made sure that I went to you know, undergrad and
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  Speaker 1: got my master's in communication since that's the number one
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  Speaker 1: breakdown in relationships. But all the while gaining experience as
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  Speaker 1: a relationship expert um on media platforms from radio to
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  Speaker 1: television and so starting off at actually kJ L H
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  Speaker 1: early on UM with Steve Harvey. UM, I'm sorry, Steve
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  Speaker 1: Harvey actually was a kid. But with um CD wonder
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  Speaker 1: and then going from kJ l H to ninety two
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  Speaker 1: point three after having bill like credibility in the radio industry.
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  Speaker 1: UM definitely helped me with my on air experience and
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  Speaker 1: doing a relationship radio show where it gave spicy tips
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  Speaker 1: and so all the meanwhile juggling media, plus doing a
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  Speaker 1: sales executive position at HBO and making sure that like
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  Speaker 1: I also knew how to pitch myself and market and brand,
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  Speaker 1: so I was able to understand operations of business. At
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  Speaker 1: the same time, we're understanding how to be like in
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  Speaker 1: front of the camera. Well, you know, articulation is the key.
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  Speaker 1: You know what what you can't do. You can't start
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  Speaker 1: a trying to tell people about love. You know what
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  Speaker 1: I'm saying. You can do you know what I'm saying, Spicy,
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  Speaker 1: you can't mess around look like you confused. You know
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  Speaker 1: what I'm saying, so so so. And also let's go
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  Speaker 1: be real. You have to look attractive or attractive people.
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  Speaker 1: You don't want all the ugly person telling you how
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  Speaker 1: to find love. You know, so you are attractive, and
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  Speaker 1: then you have the word spicy. Thank you? Just this
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  Speaker 1: money make camp say you something? You know what you know,
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  Speaker 1: if I saw you pict yourself, she's relationship. I don't
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  Speaker 1: think she's that busy. What I'm saying, it's gonna be busy,
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  Speaker 1: but you're not, so fortunately for this interview. But then
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  Speaker 1: you then, also you have the word spicy and you're attractive.
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  Speaker 1: Did that ever bother you that, Hey, you know, people
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  Speaker 1: might get the wrong idea about your brand, that you
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  Speaker 1: might get the wrong idea about you because you are
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  Speaker 1: serious professional. Okay, that's a great question. So I love
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  Speaker 1: the fact that, um, spicy has become this word that
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  Speaker 1: we're like, oh, what does that mean? You know, there's
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  Speaker 1: this passion, um and desire that's associated with the word spicy, right,
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  Speaker 1: And so I love being able to have an opportunity
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  Speaker 1: to describe, even with questions like this, what spicy actually
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  Speaker 1: stands for. So I've always embraced it. Um. I coined
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  Speaker 1: the name actually in radio because I've always you know,
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  Speaker 1: pushed my business and my company and my expertise the
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  Speaker 1: spicy life. So when I coined the name spicy Matty,
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  Speaker 1: it was because you know, I'm the CEO of this company.
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  Speaker 1: But I'm always giving spicy tips. So when people ask me, like,
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  Speaker 1: you know, what does that mean? Like why do they
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  Speaker 1: call you spicy? You know, they always think it's because
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  Speaker 1: I'm this, you know, fiery, you know spicy, um, you
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  Speaker 1: know black in Mexican, Latina and so ula. I get
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  Speaker 1: the opportunity to explain to them, no, I'm mixed. I
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  Speaker 1: get an opportunity to explain to them, UM, that spically
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  Speaker 1: actually stands for you know, self, passion, intimacy, communication and
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  Speaker 1: learning to say yes. And then I coined it in
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  Speaker 1: my company, so I embrace it and it's it's a
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  Speaker 1: catchy name that people get to remember, you know. There
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  Speaker 1: they sometimes forget Marty, but they never forget spicy. You know,
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  Speaker 1: you have the corporate experience, now you're taking it to
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  Speaker 1: a personal level. How were you able to avoid pushback
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  Speaker 1: when you started defining your voice? And I know you
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  Speaker 1: have history now, but in the beginning you have to
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  Speaker 1: develop that history. Talk about the in the beginning and
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  Speaker 1: then the journey to where we are at being interviewed
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  Speaker 1: with a resume of a legitimacy tied to your brand. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I think when it comes to branding, um and credibility, right,
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  Speaker 1: people fall in love with the person right before they
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  Speaker 1: fall in love with the brand. They want to know
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  Speaker 1: who's behind that. So when I explained my story of
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  Speaker 1: making sure that you know, I elaborate on the fact
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  Speaker 1: that I've been doing this since I was a child,
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  Speaker 1: really connecting people. My mother was married three times single parents.
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  Speaker 1: Each time that she was married, I was set her up.
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  Speaker 1: I was going up to men in the grocery store
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  Speaker 1: at the gas station pitching my mother to them because
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  Speaker 1: I wanted a dad so bad, and so I felt
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  Speaker 1: really good at marketing at a very young age. You
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  Speaker 1: know my husband, you know number four now, So like
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  Speaker 1: it's safe to say I'm really good at what I do,
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  Speaker 1: but understanding that you need the education and the credibility
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  Speaker 1: behind that, right. I went to school mastered in communication
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  Speaker 1: and really developed my method there. So all of the
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  Speaker 1: information that I have is based on true research, try
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  Speaker 1: tested and proven. So when anyone comes from me in
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  Speaker 1: their life, you know what, what makes you an expert?
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  Speaker 1: You just get to go around saying you're expert. I'm like, yes, actually,
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  Speaker 1: I have even more than ten years of experience. I've
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  Speaker 1: been doing this my entire life, setting up over multiple
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  Speaker 1: couples where they've actually walked down the you had children
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  Speaker 1: based off of my you know connection, and then have
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  Speaker 1: relationships right now that are flourishing, that are getting you know,
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  Speaker 1: getting to the point of the proposal and coaching my
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  Speaker 1: clients and seeing them all the way through. So I
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  Speaker 1: love when people question, you know, what makes you an
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  Speaker 1: expert or what makes you a gur guru because it
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  Speaker 1: gives the opportunity to really explain all of the investment
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  Speaker 1: and time that I put into this. And when people
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  Speaker 1: hear your story from a branding perspective, like they want
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  Speaker 1: to not just believe you, but they want a relationship
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  Speaker 1: with you. And being in a relationship industry, I understand
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  Speaker 1: that you need self awareness. You need to bring that
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  Speaker 1: passion and fire. You need to have intimacy to create
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  Speaker 1: a bond with your you know audience, and you need
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: to have amazing communication and deciding how you deliver that message.
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  Speaker 1: And then you also need to be willing to say
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  Speaker 1: yes to the risk, yes to the unknown, understanding you
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  Speaker 1: know that not everybody's gonna believe you, but that's okay.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: If you believe you, you're gonna push that message anyways.
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  Speaker 1: So s P I C why applies to everything absolutely,
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  Speaker 1: and so now you're the founder of the Spicy life.
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  Speaker 1: Okay again, carrying a brand spicy learning from a standpoint.
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  Speaker 1: Using the world that's very popularly used for a lot
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  Speaker 1: of different describes a lot of different things, but in
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: this case it describes romance. You're trying to trying to
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  Speaker 1: find that purpose, mate, Now what is the purpose? Mate?
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  Speaker 1: So I love the purpose made term right because it
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: makes you wonder. It's not something that we hear often.
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  Speaker 1: Most people think of soul mate. They've gotten familiar with
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: that word, and that is when you have deep affection
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  Speaker 1: and romantic feelings for somewhat amazing chemistry and I speak
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  Speaker 1: to purpose mate. What I'm talking about is having chemistry
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  Speaker 1: and compatibility. So you need both of those elements. You
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  Speaker 1: can't just have the fire and desire. You also have
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: to have the compat compatibility element. And then in addition
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  Speaker 1: to that, you have to be someone who understands and
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: knows your purpose in life and then wants to be
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: with someone who understands their purpose. And then you guys
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  Speaker 1: merge two purposes together to help one another form or
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: build your empire the mission that you were put on
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: here to do you're very clear on that, and you
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: understand your role in that person's life, and you're there
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: to support them, uplift them, use their talents and gifts
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: on another level, and help lift them up. So your
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: purpose mate is way bigger than just like, oh, you
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: know he's fine, I love him. No, your purpose mate
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: is like, how do I get you to where God
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: intended for you to be? And it's by any means necessary,
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  Speaker 1: I love who are you fine? Which is very true.
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  Speaker 1: Now this is why I like what you just said.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: First of all, soul mate really has not been working
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: in the marriage world because of the marriage is and
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: in divorce. Now, when you ask somebody what your soul mate,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: they really can't explain to you what that is. What
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: does zacts a soul mate? Now, when you we purpose made,
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: you actually had a point of view. They had credibility.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: I understood it, and I brought value so up to
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: me this whole purpose made. If you find a purpose made,
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: the percentages of successful marriages may go up because soul
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: mate is not working. I'm just sorry it's not working
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: and falling. It's failed because you can nobody explain what
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: a soul mate is. I can't tell you. I've never
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: used the word soul mate, but purpose made I could
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: use because it has You know, It's like anything you're
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: do in life, like a good job, you have to
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: know it's a contract. If you pretending to forget that,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: marriage is a contract, you know, and you have the
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: right to break it. If it's not working for you
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: now in this situation, your purpose made that is turned
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: to that person's purpose, that person's purpose or what they
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: want to do with their lives, and that never comes
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: up and being a soul mate. I really like that
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: concept that you really have honed on to because it
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: makes it made me think, It made me get a
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: clear understanding of Okay, when I look at somebody, I
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: always tell people like you know when you when you
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: can marry for money, you can marry from somebody who's educated.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: You can marry with somebody because they But if you're
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: married for fineness, you're married because he or he made
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: me laugh. I'm gonna tell you right now that's gonna
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: be a short relationship in my can lead the marriage
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: and the sex gonna get old. He and when the
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: sex get old, you won't be laughing as much. But
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: if you're married based on a plan, and that's what
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: purpose made is, it's a plan. Correct talk to me.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I think I'm into this spicy like you having said
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: might need to hire you know, I'm just saying, but
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: you you're leading me down the right path because like
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: I said, I did the book act like a lady
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: to think like a man with Steve Harder. The reason
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: that book was so successful, one of the things was
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: the naty day the naty day uh period that that
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: you had in there, because it was like, if a
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: job could put your probation for ninety days, why can't
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: you put your relationship on probation for ninety days? And
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: so this is the same thing. It was tied to
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: making the decision not so much on emotion, but is
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: this the right person for you? And when I hear
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: the word soul mate, and we've all heard that and
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: we all used I've used that in some form. I
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: don't know what that means, but I knew what naty
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: day probation meant does a job and in the relationship
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: also know what purpose made me. Once you explain to me,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: and once you explained to any of your clients, I'm
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: sure they go, wow, I never thought like that. Mm hmmm.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: You're absolutely hidden on the money. And the thing is
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: is one thing that I do love about act like
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: the lady, things like a man, you know. And I
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: give you crazy insane props um for everything that you
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: did for publishing that book and getting it out there.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Um is that it speaks to um strategy, which I
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: speak to as well. Right, what you're saying right now
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: is that we have to operate less in emotion and
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: how someone makes us feel and more in logic, which
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: is totally what I'm in support of. I once you
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: to have books, and once you have the chemistry and compatibility,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: but what does that look like? How do we create
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: a strategic action plan for what your relationship goal is?
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: And that's what I get to the root of because
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: a lot of people are just out here floating around
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: trying to figure it out. And one thing that I
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: do support in act like the Lady thinks like a
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: man as well, is that ninety day rule. Now, can
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: most people follow it when they come into my program?
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: That's a whole. That's a whole, another whole, another topic. Right,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: They require a lot of strength when it comes to
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: being abstinent for those ninety days. But I fully support that,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: actually implement that in my Spicy program because I need
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: people to have clarity of thoughts. I don't want them
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: emotionally attached to someone who hasn't earned all of the
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: things that need to show up when it comes to
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: their core values, their deal breakers, consistency and when we
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: speak to your purpose mate, your purpose mate has to
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: show the compatibility element before we give our bodies to them.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: And what I mean by compatibility is I'm talking amazing
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: communication that's an alignment with your definition of communication. I'm
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: talking shared activities and interests, and I'm talking about being
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: at the same place and your guys time and intention
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: of what you guys want from the relationship. Right, can
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I merge my life with this person? And are we
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: at the same place in our lives in knowing what
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: our purpose is and what's the game plans of fulfilling that.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: So I'm huge on stratgy gum and it's something that
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: I've created my whole method around. When it comes to
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: manifesting what you truly want, I'm not just about words
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: and emotions. I'm about I'm about yes, manifestation, but we
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: do that through behavioral changes and actions. What does this
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: game plan look like? Well? It really interesting. So when
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: one because you know a lot of the big companies
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: out there making money off matchmaking, and then you just
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: you know, you just icy body. Okay, So how do
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: you compete with the big ballers out there? They got
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: the million dollar commercial brands. You know, they on social media,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: they do geofencing on couples, you know, and it's credibility.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: How how did you manage to, you know, start defining
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: your lane and being on major talk shows and being
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: an advice person? How did that happen? I think a
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: part of my success has been driven not just from
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: the branding component of understanding what my brand is, but also,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: and I'll tell this to my datas to what's your
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: product differentiator? Right? What makes you different or sets you
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: apart from what else is on the market. And so
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: when we speak in business terms, there's tons of other
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: matchmaking companies, there's tons of competitors completely understand that. But
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: what they're not doing is giving you the personal relationship
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: coaching that comes with the matchmaking. I can introduce you
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: to a hundred people, but if I don't know how
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: to raise your vibration, if I don't know your strengths,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: your weaknesses, opportunities and threats, um which is what I
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: do for my clients a squat analysis, right, Really understanding
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: their character, what their beliefs are, you know, what's there,
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: what's holding them back, what's their limiting beliefs? Really understanding
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: who they are as a person and developing that personal tension.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: How am I going to set you up with your
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: purpose mate when we haven't even gotten to the root
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: of you know, who you are, some of your childhood traumas.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: So there's a lot of coaching that comes with my program.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: In addition to the weekly coaching, you also get an
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: image consultant, I redo your look. You also get a
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: professional astrologists as someone who's telling me what are the
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: best zodiac signs are for you. I also have a
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: marriage and damn family therapy us on staff, and then
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: I also redo your online dating profile. So everything that
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: we're doing is transformational. And we even have of a
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: fitness coach should we need to like help you from
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: a health standpoint. So it's full, full encompassing and very
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: hands on, whereas other matchmaking companies are just setting you
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: up and they're like good luck, now pay my tin k,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: pay my twenty k, and they're not really working on
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: who you are as a person and getting to the
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: root of relationship development. And I think that's what you know,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: My main emphasis is is that interpersonal development and how
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: do I help you become the best version of yourself
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: so that you can reach relationship actualization. Uh, hopefully you've
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: trade bark purpose made have you You're just giving, You're giving,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: You're giving me a bar right there. We're working on
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: it right now. Five things that have to trade market
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: addition to to the spicy life which already have and
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: spicy body. But I have like five things in the
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: in the queue right now. So just looking at you
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: because you know you got it. You know, and I
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: like a talent all the time. Get my book. I
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: need your help problems. I've developed money making conversation as
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: a voice. You know, a lot of people wanted me
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: to mentor them and also give them advice where I
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: can do that in interviews and also if you listen
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: to the interviews that I do with talented people like you,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: maybe you can take those little moments of enthusiasm or
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: information because it's tied to both, because successful people are
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: driven by their hard work also by their excitement. You like,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: you're excited about what you do. I don't know anybody
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: who who makes a lot of money and unhappy. They're
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: gonna change the game. You know. I'm not unhappy or
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: anything I do. I wake up happy. That gets me
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: out of bed, That gets me out the front door.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: And it also causes me to return home so I
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: can rest up and do it again the next day. Now, Spicy,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: you know it said yes. It's important in the learning
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: of say yes now in relationships. You've always heard the
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: word now to say no now, and you is learn
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: didn't have to say yes because that's the last of
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: the terms with spices S P I c Y. Why
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: stands for yes, So talk about that. So the reason
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: why yes it's so important is um exactly for what
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: you said, right society and what's going on culturally right
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: now is that the you know, rate of marriage for
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: millennial age groups is slowing down as far as like
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: the time that we're choosing to get married in our lives. Right,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: So there's all of this UM fear based around why
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: we need to wait, why we need to be making
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: slower decisions, because you know, we saw what our parents
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: did and our parents parents, and because the divorce rate
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: is so high, we're now dating from a place of fear.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: And so when you date from a place of fear,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: that's a scarcity mindset. You're going to be limited in
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: what you believe your options are. You're gonna be limited
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: and what you believe that you can attract. So when
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: I hear limiting beliefs, I have to help you with
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: raising your vibration and having not a scarce the mindset,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: but an abundance mindset. And when we have an abundance mindset,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: it means that we don't have to be afraid of
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: the unknown. It means that we can take risks and
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: step into them with strategy, right, because I believe in risk,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: but I believe in calculated risks. So when you're dating,
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: you're going through the process, or even when you're in
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: partnership really evaluating. You know the choices that you're making, researching,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: you know why you want this relationship and what's that
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: looks like, but also what's holding you back, what's stopping
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: you from being in a healthy, loving relationship. And when
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: it comes to partnership, really understanding that, yes, you want
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: those bubble going, warm butterfly feelings, but you really want
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: the person who's going to submit. And when I say submit,
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about the person who says yes to what's
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: healthiest for the relationship. I'm not talking about, you know,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: bending down on one knee or um doing whatever your
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: partner says When I talk about submission, I'm saying about
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: what am I willing to sacrifice in this relationship to
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: have what I want? Because you're not going to get
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: percent of the person, right, I definitely believe in So
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: what are you willing to sacrifice about you? Your personality
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: that's not serving you, that's holding you back? And then
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: what are you willing to sacrifice from a behavioral standpoint
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: and making sure that your partner's love language is fed?
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: And oftentimes we want to you know, I want to
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: put these boundaries up. I want to put these walls up.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: And we're so guarded because we're afraid to love. So
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: my whole emphasis around yes is like, Okay, let's pushack
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: past these boundaries. And if we believe that we can
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: actually have what we want, what are we afraid of?
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: We just have to step into our future self and
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: go get it. Wow. Communication heavy, it's heavy, right, communication,
• 25:38
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  Speaker 1: Find a forest near you and start exploring and discover
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  Speaker 1: the forest dot org brought to you by the United
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: States Forest Service and the ad Council. What grows in
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: the forest trees? Sure know what else grows in the forest.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Our imagination, our sense of wonder, and our family bonds
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: grow too, because when we disconnect from this and connect
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: with this, we reconnect with each other. The forest is
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: closer than you think. Find a forest near you and
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  Speaker 1: Adoption of teams from foster care is a topic not
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  Speaker 1: Us Kids, brought to you by the U. S. Department
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  Speaker 1: of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families
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  Speaker 1: and the Council. Now, I know, I gotta, I at
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: least got to bring this up. You know, Vice President
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Kamala Harris was named was what they elected. And so
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: is she getting ready you know, and she's she's uh,
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: she's a member of sority. I think, I think remember
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: sority that you are a member of. So just talk
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: about the pride of being the sisterhood of A K
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: S and being her being a member of the A
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: k R A k A sorority. Absolutely, I think that
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: it's very well known that, right we pride ourselves on,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: you know, high morals and ethical standards, and so being
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: able to see you know, us represented now, um, not
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: just in the White House, also making history and also
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: being you know connected to my sorority of Alpha Capa Alpha.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: I have so much pride in the fact that, like,
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: we did it right. And when I say we did
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: it as as a community um as you know, Greek
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: organizations all around. She represents all of us. I don't
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: want to, you know, just exclude she just happens to
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: be you know an A K A the first and finest,
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: but I take I take pride on behalf of all
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: of my brothers and sisters when you know, we see
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: her up there, you know, on the podium or next
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: to the president, knowing understanding the responsibility that she has,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: and knowing because her core values and what she stands
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: for and what she believes in, that she's going to
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: make sure that she takes care of us and represents us, um,
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: you know, to the best of her ability. So there's
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: you know, there was that moment when I cried um
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: and she got elected. But definitely, you know, was was
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: huge and excited when I even first heard that she
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: was on the ballot, and then to see her make
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: history on multiple things, on multiple levels, even you know,
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: me being biracial, seeing a biracial woman up there, Like
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: there's so many things that I connect with her on
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: that you're gonna get the emotional right now. But but
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: just the joy in my heart, right my spirit was
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: uplifted and super excited for my future offspring to be
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: able to see her in there, you know, and and
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: what she represents. It means a lot to me and
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: to my community. Well you know, you and the money
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: making money making conversation is business money and that is
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: but also, you know, a weekly uh old clubhouse you
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: do as you know, so I don't really you know
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: you you know you're willing to have people for free
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: to talk about that and we're wrapping up. Yeah, so
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: I love UM. I love clubhouse because it gives me
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: an opportunity to give relationship advice weekly on Sundays, I
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: usually hold a forum where I'm giving relationship coaching and
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: giving spicy tips out there. It's not as full hands
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: on as of course my program or my E course
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: that I just rolled out with is UM six weeks
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: that I'm doing giving the spicy relationship coaching and helping
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: people attract their purpose mate, but it does provide an
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: opportunity for these people to get a taste to fill
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: up their cup, kind of like Sunday Church. When I
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: do my clubhouse events, it gives people an opportunity to
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: ask me questions and just get some clarity around what
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: they may be experiencing. And then I also provide if
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: they need to feel their love cup up even more
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: so that they have an abundant supporting to others. Also
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: provide my Spicy Life podcast where I'm also having guests
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: come on and speaking to relationships on there as well,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: but getting to bounce off of other relationship experts, and
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: each week I bring in someone different. So I'll do
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: the same thing with the podcast as I do with
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: the Clubhouse, where all sometimes bring different people on that
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: I get to interview and give relationship advice out she's
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: the magnetic matchmaker and relationship experts and spicy body almighty.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Because I'm from Houston. Texts that's how we do it,
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: that text Bax, you know. But again, I want to
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: thank you for coming on the show. Also for attending
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: HBCU spellment. That's always great to acknowledge a k a
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: qute dog over here, frand don't keep doing my thing too,
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But uh, just stop, just stop,
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: just stop again. I want to thank you for coming
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: on Money Making Covers. You're fantastic again, keeping in your
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: in your your books, keeping your thought process. Anytime you
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: want to want to promote something, drop your e book,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: drop you sip, drop your book. I also drop your
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: your your e line, put it. Let me put in
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: my money, my my newsletter. Okay, so we can get
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: you out there because I also have a platform, HBCU Awards.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I want to recognize you for being for attending to
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: HBCU and also because we also recognized fraternities and sororities
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: on my HBC Awards dot com platform. But again, you
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: are amazing. I'm so glad you took time to talk
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: to me about your brand. And again I'm a friend
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: and uh again, Thank goodness, you look like your photo.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: That's all I got to said. Thank could you look
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: like your photo again? Thank you for coming on Money
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Making Conversation eight so much. If you want to hear
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: see any about Money Making Conversation interviews, please go to
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Money Making Conversation dot com. I'm ra Sean McDonald. I
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: am the host. In this season of giving, Coals has
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  Speaker 1: I was concerned, did not match the circumstances. This is
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  Speaker 1: the MLK Tapes. The first episodes are available now. Listen
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever
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