You're Not Bad. You're Carrying the Problem: Shame, Triggers, and Healing
"I was triggered" vs. "I chose"—what if both are true, and neither gets to the real problem? When a listener sent Tony a viral video challenging people to replace "I was triggered" with "I chose," it sparked a deeper conversation about accountability, nervous system science, and the shame-based frameworks many of us inherited long before we ever heard the word "trigger." This episode holds two truths at once: yes, adults are responsible for their behavior—and the initial nervous system activation that precedes a choice is real, automatic, and not a moral failure. Episode highlights: Why the…
The skinny
The skinny isn't ready yet — notes appear once the transcript is processed.