Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Comedy Roulette, FWB, Unsafe Things, levateyou.com and more.

Transcript

Comedy Roulette, FWB, Unsafe Things, levateyou.com and more. · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Today's show is pre recorded. Y'all know what time y'all
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: don't know y'all have a suit on. Don't giving them
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: just like the milking. But things good. Steve listening to Steve,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I don't joy. You gotta do that. Don't turn turn,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: turn them out to turn you probably got to turn
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: them out to the water, the water. Come come on
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: your thing, I shall will. Good morning everybody. You are
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: listening to the voice, or come on now dig me
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: or one and only Steve Harvey got a radio show.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Thank God for it all the time. Too. Well, here
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: we go today. I want to share something with you
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: that I'll help you because it's helped me. You know.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I was telling the story once that this magazine called
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Rob Reporting, that that was the statue I used to
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: see for years. I started buying Rob Reporting magazines years ago.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: So I just wanted to see what affluent people did,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: you know, just wanted to see what people with means did,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: what type of investments they did, what they bought, you know,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: what they traveled to Rob Report. It's just like, oh,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: it's like a big boy toy magazine. You can see
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: what causes out here. And I didn't have money for
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: none of it. I was dreaming, though, you know, I
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: just wanted to see. And there's a statue inside this
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: magazine of this man who was coming out of this
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: bronze rock. And he was completely bronze, and he was muscular,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: and you know, he didn't look nothing like me, but
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: he was a man coming up out of a rock.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: And he had a huge hammer and a chisel in
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: his hand. And as his body from the waist up
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: was coming out of this huge piece of stone, you
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: could see where it was him who had been chiseling
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: and forming himself. So the name of the statue was
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: self made man. And for years man I said, Man,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a big house one day, and I'm
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: gonna put that statue in the backyard in the corner.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: That's gonna be my little spot where I go chill,
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: because I'm a self made man. Well, after years of
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: working at becoming somebody and having reached a degree of success,
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I would have nothing to do with that statue. There's
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: nothing about that statue that appeals to me anymore. Because
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: on my journey and in my quest to become what
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I thought would be this self made man, why I
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: could put this statue and had a statue in the
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: corner be kind of cold, symbolizing that I had made it.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I realized on my journey there's no such thing as
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: a self made man. That we all need help, and
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: that God places people in our paths along the way
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: that benefit us oftentimes. And it's the most unlikely person oftentimes,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: and it's the most unlikely way that He presents these
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: people in front of you. It's crazy how he does it. Man.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: And so this is a statue now that I look
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: at and I go, I see what the creator was saying.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: And that's cool, but not not for me. I needed help.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: And I've learned a lot of things like this along
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: the way. And the part I wanted to share with
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: you all about this is you've got to develop You've
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: got to develop a sense of purpose. You have to
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: develop a sense of purpose that's different. See, your purpose
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: is created for you by God because when He created
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: you as an individual from whatever two parents you may have,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: that's not important here. When he created you, he had
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: something in mind for you, and it was a purpose.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: God has not created a single soul to become a criminal.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: God has never created a single soul to be a
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: drug dealer. This came about through some decisions we made
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: as sinners, and we stayed in that place. But see
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: what he created us. He has a wonderful idea for us.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: But God gives us human beings this thing called choice,
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: and we have the power to decide. So you can
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: decide if you're going to adhere to the purpose that
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: God created you and made you for, or you can
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: go here and make some choices on your own. So like,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: if God wanted to give you a life and give
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: it to come to you and give you life more abundantly,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: and that's his promise if you come to him, if
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: you choose him, then cool. But if you say, well
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: this ain't moving along fast enough, I'm gonna get my
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: own life of abundance, I'm gonna start slinging. Well, guess
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: what now, Tad. You've made a decision. And see God's
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: decisions and choices. The one thing I learned about him,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: God's decisions, choices, his voice, it has no sin in it.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: And it amazing how many people it came up to
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: you and say, the Lord wanted me to do this
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: to you, and I'm doing it. That God is punishing
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: you and I'm doing this to you because God gonna
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: see that you get your day. Who is this person?
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Who is this person that God all of a sudden
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: gave this authority and power to God? I didn't get
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: at the nobody, Man, nobody, this person don't had a
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: right to hold you to your pass, the right to
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: make you pay. So who makes them pay when they
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: make mistakes? Because they all make them. So when I
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: say you have to have a sense of you have
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: to develop a strong sense of purpose. That means you
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: have to strongly get in touch with your creator to
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: find out what the purpose you were created for. See
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: it's it's two things that I had to learn along
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: the way. My career was what I was paid for.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: My calling is what I was made for. See, it's
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: two different things, folks. It took me a long time
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: to learn it. Some people think that they calling is
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: to be a performer. Well, that's what you paid for,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: and a big part of your life is your performance
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: is tied directly to your But what you made for though,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: what you made for is to bring about some significant
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: change in another human being's lives because we are all
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: linked together in this chain. That's what you are here.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: For everybody has a purpose to do something wonderful, meaningful,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: or impactful for another person. You think the guy that
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: invented the airplane was merely inventing the airplane so he
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: could fly. No, his purpose was to become an inventor,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: to come up with this invention so he could fly
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: and we all fly. See. Sometimes God will make you
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: successful so you can become successful, so you can turn
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: around and teach other people how to become successful. God
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: save people, so you can turn around it tell other
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: people how wonderful it is to be saved. You see
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: how this thing works. That's what we have to do
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: as people. And it's nothing that we have to go
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: and discover. We have to go and develop it. But
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: if you have a discover your purpose, it's simply because
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: here's it. If you haven't discovered your purpose, it's simply
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: because you have not contacted the creator and maker of
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: your soul to ask and find out why you were created.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: It's as simple as that. If you buy a Toyota,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: there's an owner's manual on the inside that will tell
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: you everything you know how to best operate your toyota,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: how to make it work, how what to do they
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: got a troubleshooting section. Your faith is the same thing
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: as an owner's manual in your car. Open up that
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: bulk man, find out how to jumpstart your life, how
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: to troubleshoot it and get on with your life, and
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: find out your purpose and develop a strong sense of purpose.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: All right, Okay, you're listening to sty morning show. Ladies
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: and gentlemen, boys and girls, people from all around the world.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: You are listening to the baddest morning show in the land,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: That Steve Harvey Morning Show. Yeah, today's show is dedicated
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: to those of us who are tall. Wow, what's this, Carl?
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: How you doing this morning? I am doing fantastic. Thank
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: you for the show dedication. Stick. How are you feeling.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling damn good. Cook, I'm dar good. Surely you
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: would be considered tall and how you doing? Yes, Steve,
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: good morning to you. How you with you amongst the
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: tall Okay, I'll take it in my mind, I'm so
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: very tall. Jain Sully. Good, good to have y'all. Y'all. Well, yeah, Junior, Junior,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Well he's taller than you know. He's not. Why why
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: are we dedicating this to day to talk day talk?
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Because it's yeah, you got you got a fool day.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah day, you had a stupid day. You had a
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: short day. Not a lot of days, Donut maker day, everything,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: cubicle worker day. We've got a lot of days. And
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: today you got another one coming up too, because one
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: day this week I gonna dedicate to show the people
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: that buy a lot of you. Sure that's the way
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: you started to show, Steve. Yeah, yes, I'm gonna Good morning.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Then well we was getting to y'all. Whatever I want
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: to kill you morning? Huh my little short a little bit.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: That's how they speak. They speak short. Watch this, Tommy,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: what's up? Man? Whatever them? Very short, short response, very short,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: very short. You knows a debate, Let's just find debate.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Tommy is junior, don't madam? Oh? So he is taming.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: I've been trying to tell you guys, wait a minute. Morning, everybody,
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: take it up. I won't tall people, baby valivated what
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: I is. But you made it though. It's good to
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: be the house of the Lord today. Hate it? You got?
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: I got tall? What's up? Tommy? Not taller than you?
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: I pulled something off the up his head the other day.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Say your boy, he didn't even know it was you
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: got something right here, man, don't get that. See, that's
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: what friends are for. And I'm just hearing what your
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: little short? Oh my god, what's wrong, nephew? Just it's
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: always height on this show. It's always about height. Who talk?
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Who ain't talk? Who? Why can't it be by intelligence
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: because you ain't? Okay, let's do that one. There you
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: out again? Yes yourself? Okay, then stupid? How can't we
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: can't have something we've had that we already did that.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: You had a whole ye back, we got us think
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: of something, were thirty something funny? You're listening show, It
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: is time now to start your morning off with the
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: nephew to run that prank back? What you got for us? Now?
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: How much money do we have? Any account? Past Let's
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: go Hello, Hello, I'm trying to reach Pastor Hayes. See
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Pastor Hayes, How are you doing? This is? This is
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: brother Lenna Thompson. How you doing? I'm good brother? How
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: and how can I help you today? Pass? I'm actually
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: one of your members at the church, and I want
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: to just commend you that you're doing a good job
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: the way you are displaying safety. Let me say that
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: first and foremost okay, cool, thank you. You know, we
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: just want everybody to be safe and healthy. And your
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: name again, Brother Lenna Thompson. Okay, and and and other
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: times I'm I'm trying about to be in the middle
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: of dinner. How can I help you? Brother? Well, here's
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: what I wanted to ask you, man uh pallas, I
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: want to ask you this. I know, you know a
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: lot of people are going through different things, and and
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: people are, you know, trying to make sure they keep
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: food and stuff in the house because you know, time
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: like this, you know you kind of want to stay put,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: and but you want to make sure you got enough
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: food and water and things like that. So but but
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: but what I want to my reason for calling you
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: is I wanted to ask you how how much money
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: do we have in the account? Come again, the church account?
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: How much money do we have in there? Brother? Brother?
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: What what do you say? Your name was? Again? Brother?
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: My name is Brother Lennah Thompson. Okay, Brother Thompson. How
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: did you get my personal self on number to be
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: calling me at home this time of day? Well? I
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: got this number from one of the brothers at the church.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: What what brother? The church if they know not to
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: give my person the number out to to people I
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: don't know you. Well, I'm I'm but I'm a but
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I'm a member though I'm a member. Well, how I
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: long you've been a member, because I've been passing this
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: church for ten years and your name ain't familiar to me.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: How long? How long have you been a member at
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: my church? I've been a member of probably going on
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: going on three years now, but I ain't. I ain't
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: been since, you know, since that day I joined. You know,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: you know, I kind of got caught out there, you
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: know how I go. But uh wait, wait, wait, wait,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: wait wait, So you you've been a member of my
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: church two or three years. You ain't been to the
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: church in two to three years? Are you calling me
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: to ask me about finances of my church? Well, I'm
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: understand what you're looking for. Well, I am a member,
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: so I mean I do how to Don't I have
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: the right to know what we got in there? What
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: we got in the account? Actually you don't. You don't
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: have to write to that question. If you don't actively
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: come to the church, you can't come to the church,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: sign up the church, and then call me three years
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: later asking me what we got going on at church.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: So I need to understand what is your purpose? What
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: do you well? Like? I say everybody going through hard
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: tis I'm trying to see what we got in there,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: because you know, I need to pick up a few
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: things from the stove. I don't have the money right now,
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: but shouldn't I be able to lean on my church?
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Though We've done a lot of stuff in the community.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: We've been seeing the elderly. We got a full bank.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: We've been cashed after people some money that when we can.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: But you ain't been at this church and three years.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: You can't call me after three years and think I'm
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: about to give you some money for something I don't
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: even know if you're a real member. I am a
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: real man. I'm a real member. So hard hold on,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: hold on, hold hold on, past hold on, hold on, no, no, no, boy, boy.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Look here, I'm trying to sit down here dinner with
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: my family. You sitting here on my last nerve. Look here,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: brother Thompson. I don't know you. I ain't never heard
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: of you. You am not about to call here and
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: try to get some money out of me. And you
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: ain't even remember other church. You can't. I am a
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: member of the church. Because you come to the church
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: one time, you ain't been back in three years, and
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: you come to me for some money. I am a
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: membtory your mama. You are not a member of this church, Sir,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I am a member of the church. Look, look, look,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: let me tell you something this time. I know this
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: ain't no time. Let me tell you where you can't
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: call my church two or three years ago and called
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: me three years later, get my number from somebody and
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: ask me for money because you're going through hard time. Now,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: if you was a true member of the church, you'll
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: understand how we work and how we give money to
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: people that struggling. I just delivered forty meals today to
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: our elderly last week cashed at people money to go
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: kick up rosy. What do you need? Do you need
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: my cash? Aff then? Do you need my cash? Boy? Boy?
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: You gonna make me cuss. You ain't even tieding? So
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: how are you not tiring? And thank you? I told
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: you I have felt on bad times, didn't I say
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: I fell on bad times? You feel on bad times
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: for three years? Hey? Hey, you know it takes longer
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: for some people. Okay, why are you? Why are you
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: judging me in opposed to trying to figure out how
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: to cash apt me so I can get on a
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: number of my church. I don't know if you some
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: scam or to trying to get money from the church. Sir,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: I have never met you. I don't know you. A
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: matter of fact, I'm about to call it the deacons
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: to see who you are and why they would give
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: my number to some points to call me and ask
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: me for some money. Hey, let me say this to you.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: If you don't cash at me, then I'm funning at
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: all the members. I know you. I know our church
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: ain't no mega church. You know we got three four
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: hundred members already know so. But but I would let
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: every member know that you're not cash happing me to
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: help me in a town I'm a need. I will
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: do that. Rob Thompson, you can let him know. You
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: can Facebook Instagram and you can put it on that
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: TikTok and tag me in it. I ain't giving you
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: a dime. I don't know you, I ain't never heard
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: of you. A matter of fact. You need to get
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: off her phone. I got dinner with my wife out
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: to go on man, and I ain't got time to
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: be going back and forward with you. I need to
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: know who gave you my number. I can call him
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: up and tell them, don't be giving my number some
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: stranger who ain't been our church in two to three years.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Ain't gonna ask me for some money, some cash out
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: or if you don't get off this phone, who gave you? Okay,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: so let me ask you something. So so you know
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Deacon uh, Marvin Diller don't know Dickon Martha. Yeah, what
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: about him? Do you know he listened to the radio
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: every morning. Yeah, he's listening to the Steve Harvey Martin show. Pasta. Haye,
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: you just got pranked by your boy, deacon mother. Well,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I see, and that's why Dickon Mary about to get
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: kicked off the board by you. You got me in
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: my y'all. Yeah. My neighbors looking at me like I'm crazy.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: They know I'm on the block. You almost made me
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: because you can't be doing that during this time. Man,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: fast you all right? Man? Man, I'm good, man, I'm good, baby, baby,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: everything good. My wife man came out here, boy, and
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: you don't want her to set it off? Oh you
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: don't want the first lady to go out? Okay, man?
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: But no, we take care of our church man. We
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: feed them, sending the money, man, delivering mills. Man, make
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: sure everybody good during the time. That's good man, Hey man,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: before we get off, you gotta let me know what
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: is the baddest and I mean the baddest radio show
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: in the land. Man, it's the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: With that it isn't get nephew, Timmy, I'm through, I'm
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: through with it. I dropped the mic. I'm through. Thank you, nephew.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Coming up next, has asked the CLO Chief Love Officer,
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Steve Harvey. You're listening Harvey Morning Show time now for
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: asked the cl OH. And if you want advice from
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: the CLO, submit your questions to Steve Harvey FM dot com.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: You're ready, CLO always here we go. This one to
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: the Chief Love Officers from Joyce in Maryland. Joyce says,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: I'm sixty one and there's an older man that's been
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: pursuing me hot and heavy. I told him that I'm
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: not interested in a relationship or another marriage, but we
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: can be friends. He won't take no for an answer,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: and he keeps trying to buy my love. He's given
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: me three diamond rings. Last month he bought me a car.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: My daughter says, I'm stringing him along along and he's
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: going to be hurt. I've been honest with him from
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: the beginning, and I told him we're just friends. Do
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: you think I should just cut him off completely? What
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Quill's buying you? Ring in a car? She doesn't get
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: anybody else. She doesn't want them three rings though, you're
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: gonna be doing something back. Huh, listen, I don't understand.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't understand. Like like the daughter said,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: you're striking him along. She didn't took the rings in
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: the car. You don't want him, but you want the things.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell I don't care what.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you, because I mean,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: you're sixty one. You don't want the man. If you
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: don't want the man, tell him you don't want him.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: She's told him she's not interested in a relationship or
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: another marriage. She heard that who she called him? They
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: shut up, Tommy, but she said they could be friends. Steve.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: She did tell him that he don't want to be
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: your friend. He want to sleep with you. You don't
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: buy you something til you do diamonds. So okay, that's
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: why I get a house. Okay, diamonds. We naked after him.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Diamonds I'm sure is naked after them. Most men you
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: have to be naked to get to damn. Yeah, yeah,
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: all right, here we go. So what are you what
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: are you gonna tell her? Just dont know. If you
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: don't walter Man, tell him you don't want to be
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: about to give all that stuff back. But quit playing.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: You ain't told him strong enough. Well, you've just said
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not interested in the relationship or being married again.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: He figured, you mean just now, you ain't told him
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: strong enough. You ain't told this man strong enough playing. No,
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: she said, he won't take no. Okay, so what will
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: he take? Better get on with hell naughty and try that?
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: All right, now that's something we could work with. All right,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I like that? Yeah? Visha. In Kansas City, Steve says,
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I'm thirty six and I'm dating a bear. My husband.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: My man is so hairy that it's hurting me. When
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: we first met, he made sure he was well groomed.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: The first time we were intimate, his body hair was
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: neatly groomed. We've been together for a year and he
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: has not groomed himself since we met. I expect hair
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: on a man's legs, but I needed groomed under his arms,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: in his special place, on his chest and his beard.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: It's rough and scratchy when we're making love, and I've
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: shown him the welts on my skin days later. I
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: just want him to shave because it hurts. Is that
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: too much to ask sex with M? Have you ever
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: thought of that? M? You've been dating for you? You
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: don't have to have sex woody scratching? Tell him cut
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: all that for you. Lay on me again. See what
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: he did. I bet he don't care about that head,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: that damn one. That was a great answer. Sold out. Okay,
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: shaves all right, Derek. My name is Darrell Darrel. I
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: love that commercial keylon Clo and Arlington, Texas says. I'm
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: in my late twenties and I've been dating a beautiful
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: female for five months. The sex is mind blowing and
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: she's a beast in the bed. But the whole time
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: we're having sex, her tiny four pound puppy's lying next
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: to us, staring at me. The puppy sleeps with her
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: every night, and she refuses to put him in the
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: other room when we're getting it on. It's weird to me,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: but she has no problem with it. I almost rolled
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: over on the dog one night because he won't move.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Help me out here. How can I encourage her to
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: put the dog out? You don't. You don't have to
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: get the dog out to the flow either. We have
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: another problem. She a beast in bed and you ain't.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Oh what is that? You know? She a bes in bed?
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Maybe you ain't going to know? Sa the dog out
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: the bed? Something you it's a puppy. It ain't a puppy.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: It's a dog. It's a it's a four pound puppy. Dog,
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: four pound puppy. Let him dogs gotta get out of
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: the bed. But dog, Yeah, what I dog out to be?
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: But not Maybe would buy him rolling over on him? Dog? Carla,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: what were you gonna say? Maybe he can buy the
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: dog a dog bed, nice little toys and stuff and
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: put the dog in. Put dog, I'm not a while
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: or you want to be over there playing with your
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: little toy. Here he at the paint, show that your
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: bone over there? No, like it's right here, but he
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: says the dog lying next to them, Steve staring at
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: that's a little breaking crazy man, master my master bringing it.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Oh she doing your shell beach you just open here, boy,
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: you're up here with the bridge. Steve, you need to
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: bark shaw in the build. Stupid. Thank you you're listening
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: to all right, Steve, you are the resident relationship expert
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: on the show, no question. Uh. And you know there
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: are some folks involved in a friends with benefits situation.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: You know a lot of people you know in those
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: kind of relationships. But there are boundaries, of course, as
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: in any relationship, you should still be honest and not
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: take the situation for granted. Though a few mishaps could
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: land you back in the friendship zone with a quickness,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: of course, and even if the arrangement is super casual,
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: then Tommy becomes the expert. You know. Yeah yeah, so
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: here we go. All right. So if someone is lying
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: or not being honest about their intentions, well you know
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: it's bad news for you because you know, look, you're
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: actually all everything comes to lights. You might as well
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: if you're just gonna be friends benefits, just be honest. Okay, money,
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: here's the money. Let me hit this. Look at I
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: don't love you. Oh my gosh, I'm just being real
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: about what we're doing and what we're doing. Were vocal
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: with that. I'm honest by my intentionous. We gonna do
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: this until we don't want to do this no more.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: This ain't abouy no love. Matter of fact, we're doing
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: it from We can't even make eye contact because this
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: ain't love at all. Don't don't gaze at me. But
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: what did you look at me? Look at me or
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: you look back at me. Don't look back at me
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: when we're in the moment, look forwards, don't look back.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Don't look back. That's in the moment. You don't do that.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: That's just being honest. That's brutally do it. Do it?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Acting jealous not allowed, not good h You know, it's
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: a little tough man when you have an arrangement and
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: you know it's just friends for benefits because the other
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: person could have somebody, and so being jealous is just
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: you post being able to play a little bit better turn.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: It ain't your turn? Good with that part? When I
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: showed up with my wife? What is your lip? Part?
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: That is wrong with you today? What is wrong with you?
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: And why is you texting me? You'll see I'm over here.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: He talked about this. If you walked past me and
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: my wife one more day, you're gonna get your lip
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: up here, your repaid for what you got your mother
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: boy here? Who Okay, there's another one. Guys, assuming yes
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: is forever instead of yes for now, play your position well.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: You know, if if you've agreed to be with somebody
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: more the period of time and you know that's all
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: it is, that's all it is, you really can't expect
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: no more than that somebody always catch feelings up. You know, goodness, Dawn,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: this for six months. You know that, you know we're
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: not gonna last no longer. Ain't no sensing you won
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: that high Christmas, Donna go with you. We ain't been
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: to getting out of that Christmas now now, but October
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: we're gonna fade up out of here. Oh man, I
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: don't be looking at us to break bread hair ticket down.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: We're doing that. Oh Christmas is December twenty six now
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: just deal with it, don't be okay? Okay, moving on?
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: H No dissing aloud, disappearing acts without explaining what's happening. Okay,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: I can't do it. Well, you know, um it's kind
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: of touch you because you know at the end of
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: the day. You know, if you say you're gonna be here,
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: no you should be here. It's an agreement and arrangement
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: that we have. That's true. Yeah, because if I don't
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: know where you at, you might be outside my damn
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: house and that could get uglan' been on vacation with
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: my damn What is you? What? What? What? And no,
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: you don't get a vacation nowhere with you? Yes, those
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: up as we took that. I don't want to hear
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: about the disappear Why did I leave while you was
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: in the shower because she would call me, I have
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: to go. I'm sitting wait on you to get out.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: We though with what we was doing. The second is
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: helping somebody. It's all about helping man. We hear to help.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: So why I can't get a vacation if she get one?
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: I got facebooks somewhere as we fissed the girl, And
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: why do I have to keep having this same damn
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: conversation You're gonna miss around be our disagreement. That's with
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: being disagreement. Okay. When we when we said, you know
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: we're friends, would benefits you knew I had kids, and
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: you said you know you would sometimes take them out occasionally.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: You know you would be nice to my children. Now
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: you know your friends would benefits. And you did say
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: you're gonna take kids out. They kids, you know, have
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: things they go forward to. Ain't got an out of
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: your obligation? At least get them to the park. Huh,
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: gim me your damn kid. You see my profile on
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: FABA man with kids mn your kids men? Kids see
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: you also where the kids need to match up? Got
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: the match up? And your kids been that speak to
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: me when they see me out? Damn it? Running up
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: on before? Why running over to come the segment right here? Mister?
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: You're listening show? All right, guys, it is time for
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: would you rather? Would you rather or have to always
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: lie to your friends? Or would you rather tell your
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: enemies the truth? So which one? I ain't no problem
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: would be at all? Yeah? Just straight up one dead
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: in your face man. Yeah, so you rather tell your
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: enemies the truth? I tell them the truth and lie
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: to them to him, I know how you guys feel
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: about lying. Yeah, now we cool? We cool? Ok, we
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: ain't all right, but we ain't right all right? Would
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: you rather never be able to take a hot shower
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: or never be able to eat fried food again, never
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: be able to fry food again, yet to be hot,
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: to be chicken, it's grilled chase. You're talking about not
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: taking a shower A hot shower? Yeah hot, Well what
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: other kind of shower is it? You can take no
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: cold show show, can't take no cold shout. Okay, you'll
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: give up. You'll give up pride, catfish and pride, chicken
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: and pride. Yeah, I'm saying catfish. Now, come on, I
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: ain't gotta have none fried You can't take a shower,
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: are you king? Are you kidding me? At least you
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: will be a lot healthier. Yeah, without the pride foods?
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: All right, all right? Would you rather be the president
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: of the United States for a day, just for a day?
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: Or would you rather be a billionaire for a day?
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: You don't be the most powerful man in the world.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Can you do or a day? What? What do? You
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: can't do nothing? Then you're gonna beet or everything you say?
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, you say, you say, he really has no
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: power for a day. I'm gonna do this for the country.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: do this. As soon as you sign it. They're gonna
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: run all that out they vote on it. I need
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: that billion. Give me that billion. If I get a
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: billion for one day, for one day, I got a billion,
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: set yourself, well the whole billion is gone one day hours.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: Can you think you can spell a bit to spend
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: a billion on one day? No, I'm not gonna spend it.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: I know where to put it. I'm calling Robert Smith
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: and I need for him to just tell me what
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: to do with six hundred million of it. If the
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: other phone hundred million go get spent that day, that's
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: the first thing. All right, thank you guys today rather
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: first the plane. First, you're listening to show. Here's a question,
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: what's the most unsafe thing your parents let you do
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: as a kid. Here's a comment from JJ that we
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: saw on Facebook. It says, now that I'm a parent,
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: when I think about it, all of the unsafe things
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: my parent let me do as a kid, it makes
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: me say, what the hell? It was truly different back then.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: I remember my dad letting my brother and I have
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: BB guns. We also build a mini bike out of
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: a lawnmower engine, which we would crash on a regular
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: basis dead. So I mean you guys, think about it.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Steve Tommy Junior. How was your your childhood unsafe compared
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: to the kids today, Steve. Y'all parents and we played
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: outside a lot. Yeah, yea. Well. The first thing my
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: parents they met that was unsafe was like in six cook,
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: I got the whole operation of the stove. They let
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: me cook at six years old. You were boiling hot
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: dogs on high water gold out the pot. I ain't
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: got no water in here. Why you conn have burnt
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: the whole house down? I did Tuesday. That was to
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: put a pizza in the oven in the box. Did
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: not know this? Oh that was a whompan I got old?
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: You got said warming up. I've been cooking. J Come
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: onlips flips off the house, off the top of the house,
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: flip off the house and laying on the ground. Yeah yeah, yeah,
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: flip off the house. Prob My brother did that. That
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: was it, Timmy. We was we was trying to kill
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: you that timing. They didn't let you do that. We
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: told you they said you could. That is just not nice,
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: all right? Come on, big dog? What you got going
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: down the freeway in a station wagon standing up in
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: the back seat, hanging out the window, looking seat belt
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: what None of that back then, were just standing up,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: head out the wonder like a dog. Got a lot
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: of bugs. I bet that, Oh I got one. I
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: got one. I wanted this so bad. I wanted to
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: smoke my daddy's cigar. And I begged and begged until
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: finally he said, Okay, cool, you're gonna smoke the whole
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: damn thing. I was nine. I was throwing up for
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: three days. I was literally throwing I didn't want to
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: see another s. Wow, come on, junior, you got anything else, Steve, Yeah,
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: I'll let you know nothing. Probably wasn't safe, but as
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: a kid, but I'm like ten, catching the city bus
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: to school, not the school bus. The city bus hid
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: the head. I was supposed to know a bus riding team.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: I got to find my old way to school. I
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: didn't look. Get your ass out there. I ain't. I
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: can't take you this morning. Just get on. We don't
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: we running behind. Just get on the bus. We seven
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: eight Broadway. Take it to your see your school. I
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: love your family. At ten, you can close it out. No,
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: we got a minute. We lived in an industrial city,
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: factories republic steal for vo to comfort. They let me
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: make and eat snow ice cream. Yeah. Growing up in Chicago,
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: I've had some of those. The real down the street
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: from the steel meal you're here, were carbing monoxide. Who's next?
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Come on, Junior, I'll tell you nothing they let me do. Okay.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: It's unsafe for kids to take shots of crown. I'm
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: just gonna tell you that right now. You love, I
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: ain't got no love for this. It's unsafe take a
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: shot of crowd a din Oh my god? All right, listen.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: Coming up next, the nephew is here with today's frank
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: phone call. Right after this, you're listening morning show coming
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: up at the top of the hour, right about four
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: minutes after. It's my strawberry letter for today, subject I
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: need my wife to reinstate my hall pass. Wow. Okay,
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: so yeah, these black people, all right, can't can't be
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: And I know good him well, I know not to
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: bring it up right now though. Nephew in the building
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: with today's prank phone call. What you got for us?
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: Neff pecntry that harmless? It sounds very yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: anybody like country. Let's go Hello, Hello, I'm trying to
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: reach Lcday. My name is Marcus. My mama named little
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: next dough to you, mister, and missus my mom and
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: daddy little next dough to you. And I was calling
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: because y'all got a p country in y'all backyard, I
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: mean right on the fence line and to keep you know,
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: pecan and stuff keep falling over into my mom and
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: them yard. So I tall to see if y'all can
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: do something, man, where y'all can pick up I mean,
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: my mama and them got a little older. You know,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: we've been picking them up for a long time, but
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: I need somebody to, like, maybe you can cut the
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: limbs back that's hanging over so that they won't, you know,
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: the pecans won't be falling over into my mom and
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: them yard because you know, for them to be bending
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: over like they're picking up them pecan and it's a
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: lot of them. So, you know, mister, I just wanted
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: to haul at you and see if you don't mind
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: maybe cutting the limbs back, because even when we turned
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: the lamo on and stuff, man, it just you know,
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: the pecans and stuff be coming out of the lamo
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: just shooting all over the place. Well, first of all,
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: Mamacone trills the old con tree and all its fout well,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: and I can't see me cutting it well. I mean,
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying you can't, y'all, but I mean you
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: your mother, you can maintain your mother's yard, Sir. I
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: go by my mother's house, you know, every other day
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: and check on them. But I don't have time to
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: go on the back and pick up pecans and stuff.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I mean, if you just
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: it don't seem no more than like maybe four or
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: five limbs that's hanging over there. But them four or
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: five limbs, I mean they they there's a lot of
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: pecans falling off of that. So if you my pacorn
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: tree shaded, I go back there, there's no kind of
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: nothing beck the okay whatever, sir, I'm not cutting my
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: tree for a little like that. Sir. Listen, what I'm
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: what I'm trying to get you to do is I'm
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: not I want you cutting your entire tree down. I
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: just want you to cut a few limbs, sir, so
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: you know those that way that those are the ones
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: that are hanging over it won't be you know, the
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: pecans won't be falling over into my mom's them yard.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: And and and you know, like I say they're older now, man,
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: they can't be bending over like that. So you know,
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm just coming to you as a man right
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: now and asking you when you please cut this down
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: so these pecans and quit falling over my mama them
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: yard almost and you all you can do is hord
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: someone someone I know your mother. Don't cut your yard.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: It's a guy that it's a guy that cuts the yard.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: But even when he cut in the yard, these pecans
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: is flying out from underneath the yard. The law more
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: they soon a lady, we're gonna be breaking windows over that.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: What kind of long person you have that don't pick
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: up before they cut? That's food? Why am I arguing
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: with you about picking up stuff and all of this?
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: I'm asking you to cut a funky little five limbs
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: so these dog gonna pecans ain't are falling off my
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: mama yard. You you want to cut, you're gonna make
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: me come over here and cut the old I would
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: come cut the whole damn tree down. You ain't gonna
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: put my tree. I grew that tree from when I
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: was a kid, and that tree gonna stay in there
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: or long I stayed though. Sure, Look I didn't ask
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: you like a man to cut your little funking pecan
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: tree down. Now, I ain't from the hat what you
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: know what? Guess what? You you you bad enough you
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: can't cut it. I've been look sir tonight today, Rother,
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: this evening. It's either gonna be two things happening. Either
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: you're gonna cut the five limbs that I won't cut.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna cut cut the whole damn or con tree down.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: That's my tree in any game. Nobody's gonna with my tree.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: I'm here right now. I'm you're not hearing them the
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: yard right now, come on, it's you over that right now,
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: right now. I will bring my right home back. You
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: know what, you get my numb in the way, got
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: your know I got it because it's the saved is
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: one that dress left in my mama's. You're gonna cut
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: this damn tree down. I'm waiting on them. But anyway, man,
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: I ain't use my creating something in a long time.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: Any wait, I've been waiting on them like you. You
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: didn't lost your damn mind. You live, y'all, punk. I
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: told you once and I told you twice. I'm old
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: you younger, don't do that. See that's what's right there.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: You know what you can do? Tell your mama make
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: up a corn pie. What you say by my mama,
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: tell her to make a corn poe and come for me.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: Tell my mama what break a corn pot with? Make
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: up pecan pie. I don't want no pecoran pop. We
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: don't even eat potcorn pie. We're so sick and he's down. Pecun.
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: You got followed over in the backyard. You got to
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: do something about this. Man. Now, I'm trying to I'm
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: trying not to hurt you. Oh man, I really am
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: hurt me. Hurt me, Come on, hurt me pretty for me.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: I'm on my I'm on my way. It's your side side.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: It is you outside. You know how you know? Say
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: you know what? I'm here, I'm here, I'm I'm I'm
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: gonna be in your mama way. Dude, you get out.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: You get out my mama driveway right now. Get out
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: my mama driveway all up, putting me out. I'm putting you.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: Get your you get your back in your drive When
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: you get out my mama drive way, get out you
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: get out of my mama john way. Who crying for? Now?
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: Tell you I'm here. Waiting on you. You get out
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: of my mama. Get out of my mama. Joe way
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: better go cook me some me because I'm gonna sit here.
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: I got one more thing I need to say to you.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: With you listen, you don't wanna say I'm waiting at
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: you at your mama house. This is nephew tim Me
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: from the Steve Harvey Morning Show. You just got pranked
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: by your brother. Man, I don't say this, sun Man.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna put my man. I'm gonna I'm anna, but
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: I don't play. I'm too old. Else, do me a favor.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: First of all, get out tell people yard, go back
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: to your yard. You gave me half blood pressure. Ain't
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: nobody mad about your country none of that. Ain't nobody
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: going to cut it down. Ain't nobody tripping you. No, man,
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: I'll be caring my grandkid in school. Listen, y'all boy, y'all, y'all,
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: y'all boy, y'all man. I got one more question for you.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: Tell me what is the baddest radio station in the
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: landing l c S. So now you have a question.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: This is just stupid at its best. That's all I'm
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: trying to do. Ye April fifteenth, is going down The
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: Laughing Love Show April fifteenth, The Laughing Love Show that
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: is in Bowling Green, Kentucky at the sky Pactickets on
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: sale right now. That his nephew, Tommy and like Jennings,
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: that's laughing love. Also joining list is Bubba dub now
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: laying in the cut. Laying in the cut. Oh my god,
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: Me and lou Nell together at the Kenswick Theater in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: April twenty night. Tickets on sale right now. That's Depthet
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: Tommy and lou Nell. That's stupid and most stupid. I
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: don't think it can getting the more here the net
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: right there, that's it. That's that's high limit, way up
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: on the egg and chain right there. That's way up there.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: Tommy and lou Nell at the Kesswick, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, April
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: to twenty ninth. Tickets our own sale red now Phil
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: it sound like Phil It and me hit it back
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: all right, thinking nephew coming up. Strawberry letter for today
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: subject I need my wife to reinstate my whole pass.
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: We'll get into it right after this. You're listening Morning show,
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: all right, guys, It is time now for Today's Strawberry Letter,
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: and if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: FM dot com and just click submit Strawberry Letter. That's
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: all you have to do. We could be reading your
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. You hear that, Yeah,
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: you hear it. Buckle up and hold on type We
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: got it. Fire you Strawberry Letter, Thank you Tommy. Subject.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: I need my wife to reinstate my Hall Pass to
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm a twenty eight year old married man.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: I've been married for two years and it's been a
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: rocky two years so far. Right after I married my wife,
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: she cheated on me with her ex boyfriend. I suspected
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: something was going on all along, and she finally did
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: admit it to me, but she said she was drunk
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: and it only happened once. I forgave her eventually and
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: were still together. After it happened, my wife said she
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: felt terrible and she told me there was only one
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: way to make things even. So she offered me a
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: quote Hall Pass, which allowed me to have sex with
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: one person outside of our marriage. I didn't have to
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: tell her who it was or when it happened, just
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: let her know after i'd used my Hall pass. Once
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I forgave her, I had no intentions of cheating on her,
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: and I let her know the proposal. The proposal was crazy. Now,
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: as time has gone by, I regret that I turned
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: down my Hall pass because I ran into an old
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: friend from high school and she looked better than she's
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: ever looked. She works out now and everything was right
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: and tight on her body. Around the time I ran
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: into my old classmate, my wife and I had been
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: arguing a lot and it was stressful at home, so
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: I considered going to my wife to see if I
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: could possibly get my hall pass reinstated. I told my
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: classmate everything that was going on in my head, and
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: she told me to think long and hard about it.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Before I asked my wife, I just want one time
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: with my classmate, just to see what I've been missing
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: all of these years. So my question to you is,
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: should I do it and hope it never comes between
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: my marriage, or should I request a hall pass and
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: let my wife know I want to get a little
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: side action like she did. Okay, No, and no, and
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: that should conclude my answer. But anyway, okay, you're you're
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: just begging, begging for trouble and and asking for more problems.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: And you're already troubled marriage. You said, you guys have
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: been arguing of late. The way I see it, you
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: have you don't really have any options here, um not
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: to use your hall pass that your wife offered to
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: you before, and not to tell her everything. Uh no,
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: you don't do that, all right, don't do that. You
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: said that you forgave her. You guys had a clean
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: slate and everything. You just happen to run into this
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: temptation called your old high school friend. And that's all
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: it is, uh temptation. You know. Try to fix your marriage, okay,
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: try to fix it even though you guys have been
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: even though it's been what'd you say, Steve? I'm sorry,
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: what'd you say? Oh? Okay, okay, but anyway, where was that?
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: But anyway, yeah, you know that. Don't don't take that
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: option to go back and ask ask your wife for
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: the hall pass. I mean, you really think after all
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: this time, she's gonna say go ahead and do it now?
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: Just don't? I mean she might, I don't know that's
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: maybe the kind of marriage you guys have at twenty eight,
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: But don't do that. Okay, stay and try to fix
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: what's wrong with your marriage. Right now. Your wife cheated
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: on you with her ex boyfriend. She said she was drunk.
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: You forgave her. Please try to fix that and move on.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: Get this girl out of your mind if you can.
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: Don't keep trying thinking about her, trying to go back
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: doing all of that. Please don't do that. Okay, You're
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: gonna cause yourself a world of problems, and it's just
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: not worth it. It's just not worth it. Now. If
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: you and your wife end up getting a divorce, then
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: you know, maybe you want to look up your old
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: high school friend. But right now, I say let it go. Steve.
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: This is a good letter. This is a tough one,
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: this twenty eight year old young man. I'm gonna try
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: to talk to you like you my son, because I
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: got ye old boy, so I'm gonna try. But I
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: want you all to understand before I read this letter
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: and dissect it, I'm a grown man, and all my
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: advice is not perfect. Some of this is for comedy,
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: and some of it as well. It's just a damn letter.
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: He'd been married for two years, he's rocky. Right after
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: he got married, his wife cheated on him with her
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: ex boyfriend. So then he said, I suspected someone's going
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: on all along, and she finally admitted to me. But
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: she says she was drunk and it only happened once.
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: This over with. Now there's no need for no letter
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: because you ain't playing on quick drinking? Are you? So
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: all this got? It happened again? Written? Well, you know
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: she said she was sorry it only happened once she
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: was drunk. Well, she ain't went to the alcoholics, anonymous
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: or nothing. So if you ain't gonna quit drinking, this
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: has the potential of it could happen all over again.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: Now I'm not mad nobody because they get drunk, they
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: gonna have sex with somebody. We got to get out
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: of this marriage now because last time I checked, they
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: say alcohol everywhere. So now I'm married to a person
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: that can't passing nothing without passing out something. If you
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: can't pass a bar without passing out something, girl, this
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: marriage can't work. So now me and you threw anyway.
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: I forgave her eventually and we're still together now after
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: it happened. My wife says she felt terrible, and she
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: told me that the only way to make things even
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: she offered me a Hall pass, which allowed me to
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: have sex with one person outside our marriage. I didn't
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: have to tell her who it was or when it happened,
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: just let her know after I had used my Hall pass. Boy,
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: if this wasn't an opportunity for you to capitalize and
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: never mentioned the damn Hall pass, hold on, Steve, We'll
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: have Yeah, we'll have part two of you up. We're
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: kind of twenty three minutes. Has never been off for
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: the damn Hall pass. I'm gonna I just got your
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: hall in the damn hall. I ain't have a pass,
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: all right, subject today, I need my wife to reinstate
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: my Hall pass. We'll be back in twenty three minutes
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: after the hour to get back into it right after this.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: You're listening, all right, Steve, Come on, let's recap today's
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: Strawberry letter and wrap up part two of your response.
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: Twenty year old dude Mary two years been rocky, found
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: out his wife cheated on the way the ex boyfriend.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: You know, she said it only happened once she was drunk.
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: I don't like that excuse. I was drunk. That's why
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: it happened. Seeing us how they continued to sell alcohol worldwide,
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: damn worldwide. I don't see how this can't happen again. Yeah,
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know where she can go. Well, I ain't
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: serving no alcohol. Rockingham, North Carolina was a dry county,
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: but even if you drove ten miles, you could get
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: drunk over there and drive back home and screw the
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: gas station attended. So I'm not real secure with her,
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: but you forgave her, and so she decided to make
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: things even to give you a Hall pass, which allowed
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: this dude to have sex with one person outside their marriage.
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: He didn't, She didn't. He told her, you don't have
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: to tell me who it was or when it happened.
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: Just let her know after I had used my hall pass. Now,
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: he said, once I forgave her, I had no intentions
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: or cheating on her, and I let her know that
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: the proposal was crazy. I ain't gonna judge you. I
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: think that's a noble thing to do, young man. You
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: want to be in a committed marriage. Two wrongs don't
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: make her right. That was a wonderfully adult decision that
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: you made. Far ahead of my years at twenty eight,
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say that still that now, I had
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: never heard of a hall pass, nor has any one
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: ever given me a hall pair. I ain't had a
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: girlfriend with a hall pass. Now, not to say I
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: wasn't out in the hall. I've been out in the
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: hall hall monitor stopping me everything, Polarard's everything. But that's now,
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: as time has gone by, I regret that I turned
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: down the hall pass because I ran into an old
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: friend from high school and she looked better than she
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: ever looked. She worked out now and everything was writing
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: tight on her body. Around the time I ran into
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: my old classmate, my wife and I had been arguing
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: a lot and was strestful at home. Well, son, she
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: she gave you what what? What Steve? She gave you?
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: What are you saying she gave your pass? You had
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: to pass anyway? Uh? And so now I've considered going
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: to my wife here who to let it get real
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: damned dumb? Yeah, it's been stupid, but now we're in
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: a inter dumbed him. So I considered going to my
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: wife to see if I could possibly get my hall
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: pass reinstated. What what what did your dumbass, just say
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: why what did you say? You find to go to
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: your wife a woman, You find to go to a female,
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: tell her to her proposal was crazy. Come back after
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: you ran up into your old classmate and you're gonna
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: ask her to reconsider reinstate in your hall pass. Let
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: me ask you something, How do you imagine this going down?
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: Tell me how you introduced this concept to your wife. Okay,
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: now after you get out the hospital, what I want
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: you to do it is I want you to then
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: think about hospital. Uncle Steve told your dumb ass not
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: to say that. Boy, you cannot go in there with
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: your stupid ass and say that. Listen to me anyway,
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: the original hall pass was a trap, and you played
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: the right thing by saying this proposal is crazy. That
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: was the perfect response. But all being said, if you
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: was gonna do it, you should have took your hall
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: pass and then just said I just told you it
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: was a crazy ass proposal, But I took the pass
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: and then you'd have been clear. But now you're gonna
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: go back and ask to read and stated. Now here's
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: what your dumbass did. You went back to your classmate
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: and and told her what was going on in your head,
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: and your classmate told you to think long and hard
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: about it before I asked my wife. Hold on, donc
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: you went to the woman that you want to cheat
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: with and asked her? Did you should I ask my wife?
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: Can I have a hall pass to cheat with you? Doc?
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: I'm make this statement right here. You ain't got no daddy. Yeah,
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: there's no way you have a dad. It's no way
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: you was raised without a father. I'm gonna just say that.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: So let let Uncle Steve help you out. Hey, dog,
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: quit talking to your new class made potential of mistress
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: about your wife. That's rude. Number one. Secondly, don't go
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: intea and ask your wife to reinstate no damn hall pass. Now,
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: Shirley said, get the girl out your mind? That's impossible.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: How do you get temptation that? Surely you can't try
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: to get somebody out your mind. That ain't how it worked,
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: because you can't control your mind with what comes in it.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: You control how you process it, but you can't stop
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: the sin and the temptation from in in your mind.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: He's twenty eight years old here in trouble. He he's
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: been asleep with this girl. Oh, I didn't slept with
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: an eye ain't in my mind. I don't know. All right, listen,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: we're gonna come back with part three of the Strawberry
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: Letter today. It's a good one, subject I need my
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: wife to reinstate my hall pass. We'll be back right
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: after this. You're listening, all right, Steve. You had part
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: three of today's Strawberry Letters the subject I need my
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: wife to reinstate my hall pass. Let's recap, because surely
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: this letter was a twenty eight year old dude that
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: was married his wife. She did on him. He forgave
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: h but she felt bad about it and so said
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: to even it up, she gave a dude the hall pass.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: He told her he wasn't interested on a hall pass.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: He thought that proposal was crazy because he didn't want
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: to cheat on his wife. Man. Yeah, so then he regretted.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: He turned it down because he ran up into an
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: old friend from high school and she was looking better
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: than ever. She worked out now, everything was right and
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: tight on her body. And around the time that he
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: ran up into him and his girl had been a
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: hug and a lodden stressful at home. So here was
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: his dilemma. I've considered going to my wife to see
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: if I could possibly get my hall pass reinstated. Boy,
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: and I told him before the break, you cannot do that,
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: you cannot do that, But he did it got dumber,
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: he said, And I told my classmaker the woman that
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: he wanted to see. He told his classmate, the chick
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: that he ran up and do with the banging body,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: that everything that was going on in my head. And
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: she told me to think long and hard about it
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: before I ask my wife. Hay food, Hey food, you
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: go go to your wife and ask her, cause she
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: reinstate the hall pass, and you didn't ask the girl,
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: the potential mistress that you're gonna sleep with, what her
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: opinion is. And she tells you to think long and
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: hard about it. So my question to you is should
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: I do it? Now? You cannot discuss your wife with
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: a chick that you're talking to on the side. That's
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: how all the fast store. You don't ever listen to me.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: Don't ever talk about your wife to another human being.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: Your wife is off limit to the opinion of other people. Now. Dog,
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: if you go to your baring gonna man a girl
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: at the house tripping, that's one thing she don't go
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: to no woman. Yeah, and talk about your wife to
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: a woman. Are you done? You're breaking the rules. Son,
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: Then you stop this now, Shirley say, get this out
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: your mind. That's not gonna happen. We're gonna have. It's
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: gonna happen. That's gonna have. That's how he got another problem.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: It's just how he gonna play this because he fitted
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: out set with this girl, Sherley. They don't matter what
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: the hit all we say, he gone here control, guys,
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: have self control. We gotta leave your comments on today's
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM and check out
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: the Strawberry letter. We have control and he don't have
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: control here twenty eight Jake, you're listening morning show. All right, guys,
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: time for today's comedy roulette. Jay. Let him have it quickly, please.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: We take three subjects. Put him on the wheel, sputting
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: the wheel, wedge stop damn it. We'll make it funny.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: Watch us, watch us do this. All right, here we go.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: Today's categories are, if you really really don't know what
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: you're doing, you should never blank. All right, uh huh huh,
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: all right. Things you put on ice cream, all right?
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: And television show you cut off that you really can't stand.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: Television show you cut off that you really can't stand. Okay, alright,
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: bend the wheel. I want things you put on ice
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: Oho landed on. You really really don't know what you're doing,
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: you should never blank Jane, there would go comedy roulette.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: If you really really don't know what you're doing, you
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: should never try to pierce your own ears. Okay, if
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: you don't go yeah, yeah, go ja. If you really
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: really don't know what you're doing, you should never break
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: up fights. I'm telling you don't know you you're going
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: to get ask me, but I'm telling I've seen this happen.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: Get your hands off him. Okay, all right. If you
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: really don't know what you're doing, you should really not
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: try to put magic shade on your bald head y'ah
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: my god, what you are looking like? Oh? If you
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: don't know what you're doing. If you really really don't
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: know what you're doing, you should never tell a new
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: woman what you're about to do to her when y'all
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: get home, we get to the house, Yeah, wear that, Yeah, nah,
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: I don't brand before I have screaming. If you really
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: really really don't know what you're doing. You can check
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: yourself for him. Rod, you can't do that. You want
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: to get okay, if you don't know what you're doing,
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: but if here we go. If you really really don't
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: know what you're doing, you should never make potatoes salad.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you to say something. I think I got it. No,
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: you didn't, just know what you're doing. You make a
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: potato salad, don't don't. Don't think it. If you don't
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: know what you're doing, If you don't know what you're doing,
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: if you don't know what you're doing, if you really
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: don't know what you're doing, I mean, really really don't
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: know what you're doing, don't tell the kids you've been
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: to go up there and get the ball out the tree.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: Don't tell them yours to the hospital. Yeah, if you
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: really really don't know what you're doing, you are to
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: never tell nobody your ass can cook. Don't put that
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: out and saying all right, all right, all right, we're
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: doing comedy roulette and is. If you really really don't
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: know what you're doing, if you don't know what you're doing,
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: don't you try to put that seventy inch TV on
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: your wall. Okay, If you don't know what the hell
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: are you doing? All right? Kind of stood or nothing?
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: Here you go. If you really really don't know what
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: you're doing, I mean, you really don't know what you're doing,
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: don't you ever start a fire? I swear to God,
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: I said, if you don't know what you're doing, if
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: you really really don't know what you're doing, please don't
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: try to siphen some gas out of a car. Please.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: That's the worst thing you'll ask. If you really really
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: don't know what you're doing, don't you ever decorate your
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: own apartment at I keel. That's comedy Roulette Guys stories
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: on the Steve Harvey Morning Show coming up at twenty
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: minutes after the hour, right after this you're listening morning show.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: All right, So, Steve, it's been a minute since you
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: introduce your brand new healthy product to Elevate You, the
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: Green Powders. So how's it going. What's happening? You know?
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say, Elevate You is getting rave reviews.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: I was really moved by a video that a woman
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: sent me the other day talking about the product. She
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: decided to try it, and after a week she noticed
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: a huge difference in her energy level and she was
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: able to do things that she normally set around more sediment,
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: you know, and everything, and how it's giving her the energy.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: And then she got emotional and just said, I wanted
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: to thank you because I've tried some things and I
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: just couldn't get it. But this is giving me the
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: energy that I haven't had in a long time. And
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: you know, she said, as a woman, just becoming more
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: regular was a great help to her digestion. And I
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: hear that from a lot of women. Yeah, that digestion
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: is tough for a lot of women as even as
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: they especially as they get older. But even throughout I
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: hear women talk about that all time. People who get
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: it enjoyed the taste. People who get it enjoyed mostly
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: the results. Look, it's not a one stop shop miracle.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: You drank this and pounds just gonna drop off. No,
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: you still have to work out, you still gotta take walks.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: You know, you still gotta watch what you eat. It
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: does give you energy and help with your brain falk,
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: and it helps with your digestion. And that's what a
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: lot of people are finding out about the new elevate
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: you dot com. Go check it out right now. L apostrophe,
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: evate l evate you dot com. All right, we'll have
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show coming up at
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: thirty three minutes after we'll play a round of would
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: you rather? Right after this you're listening to show? All right, guys,
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: it is time for would you rather? Would you rather
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: have to always lie to your friends? Or would you
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: rather tell your enemies the truth? So? Which one? I
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: ain't got no problem would be at all? Yeah? Just
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: straight up in your face, man? Yeah, So you rather
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: tell your enemies the truth? I tell them the truth
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: and lie of them for him. I know how you
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: guys feel about lying? Yeah, now we cool, We cool? Okay,
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: we ain't all right, but we ain't right all right?
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: Would you rather never be able to take a hot shower?
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: Or never be able to eat fried food again? Never
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: be able to eat fried food again? Yeah? Got to
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 1: be hot, got to be chicken, it's grilla. Are you
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: talking about not taking a shower? A hot shower? Yeah? Hot?
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: Well what other kind of shower is it? Can take?
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: No cold shower? Show, can't take no cold shower. Okay,
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: you'll give up, You'll give up fried catfish and fried
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: chicken and fried yeah, I'm saying catfish. Now, come on,
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: I ain't gotta have nothe fried. You can't take a shower,
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: are you king? Are you kidding me? At least you
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: will be a lot healthier. Yeah, without the fried foods.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: All right, all right? Would you rather be the president
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: of the United States for a day, just for a day,
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: or would you rather be a billionaire for a day?
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: You don't want to be the most powerful man in
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: the world. Can you do nothing for a day? What?
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: What do you can't do nothing? They're gonna beet or everything.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: You say? Oh okay, you say, you say, he really
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: has no power for a day. I'm gonna do this
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: for the country. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this. As soon as you sign it,
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: they're gonna run all that out they vote on it.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: I need that billion. Give me that billion. I get
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: a billion for one day, for one day, I got
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: a billion. Do set yourself, well, the whole billion is
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: gone one day for hours. Can you think you can
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: spell a bit to spend a billion one day? No,
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna spend it. I know where to put it.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: I'm calling Robert Smith and I need for him to
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: just tell me what to do with six hundred million
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: of it. What if the other four hundred million go
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: get spent that day? That's the first thing, all right,
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys. Today's rather first in the playing first
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: coming up forty nine minutes after it'll be our last
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: break of the day, Sorry, Steve, and some interesting, interesting
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: closing remarks from the one and only Steve Harvey. You
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: don't want to miss this coming up right after this.
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: You're listening all right? Here we are last break of
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: the day, Steve, take us home with some enlightenment and
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: some closing remarks. You know, one of the things I
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: think is important for people to keep their mind on
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: and can always be conscious of. I've especially tried to
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: embard this in my children, but like all of us,
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: my children no different from your children. Sometimes they get it,
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: sometimes they don't. Sometimes they're here it later, but it'll
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: register eventually. But I wish somebody had given it to
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: me early and helped me really really understand the importance
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: of this right here. The things that you do today
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: and every day will determine your future. The things that
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: you do today and every day will determine your future.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: The mistake I was making as a young man was
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: I didn't understand how to lay all the groundwork I
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 1: needed to lay in order to become successful. I just didn't,
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 1: you know, you know, I flunked out of school. I didn't.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: I didn't understand how to set goals and dreams. I
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: didn't know anything about writing my visions down. I did
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: not know fully, nor did I really comprehend how the
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: things that I was doing on a daily basis back
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: then would affect my future. I just didn't see it.
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: I guess one of the reasons I didn't see it
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: was because, like so many of you and myself, we
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: didn't see what our life had to do with fifteen
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: twenty years from now. It's sort of funny because you
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: haven't gotten to the fifteen twenty year mark. You don't
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: know anything about really setting goals at high all of
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: this here, and I just didn't at the time that
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: I didn't make enough preparation. I did not lay enough
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: foundation to be as successful as I could have been earlier.
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: So what I tried to impart upon people is to
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: remember this now, that the things you do today and
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: every day will determine your future. All these frivolous days.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: You keep having these things that you think it won't matter.
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 1: I'm just young. Look, I'm young. What you won't you know?
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: If you keep using youth, it's your excuse. That'll be
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: your excuse when you get old. I was young back then,
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: I didn't know no better. Well, at one point in time,
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: you gotta stop being young and you gotta start knowing
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: better because that excuse is only gonna be good for you.
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: If you want to explain your failure as a person,
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 1: then all you gotta do is just keep on talking
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 1: like that because I got that you don't didn't know then,
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: but you know now. Or what I'm trying to get
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: more people to do is to know now what you'll
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 1: be talking about later on. If I only knew then
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: what I know now. Well, I'm trying to get you
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: to start thinking about it now because everything you do,
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: the things you do today and every day, will determine
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: your future, because your future is coming. And often said, man,
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: we just spend too much time wasting time on frivolous things.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 1: What really does really? What does happy I would do?
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: It's just a celebration for being off work. It don't
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 1: put you in line to accomplish much of nothing. How
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: many business network things you to went to out a
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 1: bar that was really business networking. Really, there was a
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: bunch of people standing around in the same predicament you hen,
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: wanting to accomplish the same things you want to accomplish,
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: but needing somebody is to get it done. But y'all
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 1: all in that needing something. Man, I can't tell you
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: how many times I've wasted moments of youth pursuing something
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 1: that had no value to it. Looking back on it,
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: if I had really understood that the things you do
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: today and every day would determine your future, i'd have
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: been a little bit more serious about my day to day.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: But I wasn't. I just wasn't, And I paid for that,
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 1: and it cost me in my thirties. Oh my god, man,
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: my thirties was miserable. Ah, Man, my thirties was. I
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: was in a pain, man, I was in a pain.
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 1: But I bought it all on myself. So I spent
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 1: all of my thirties fixing what I should have been
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: doing in my twenties, and I spent all of my
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: forties getting it together the way that I should have
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 1: been doing in my thirties. I looked up one day
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 1: and I was fifty and I said, man, I gotta
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: get it together for real. And that's how it happens.
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: So just remember this. You are. All the things that
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: you're doing today and every day it will determine your future.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: And know this, the future is coming. It may very
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: well get here, all right. Keep that in mind, those
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 1: of my closing remarks. And drop it, baby, drop it drop.
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 1: I dropped it the first time I threw it down
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: seconds it sounded like, thank you Steve for that. For
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: all Steve Harvey contests, no purchase necessary void where prohibited.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: Participants must be legal US residents at least eighteen years old,
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: unless otherwise stated. For complete contest rules, visit Steve Harvey
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 1: FM dot com. You're listening to