Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Uplift: Founder of 1 Million Lives Transform, focused on empowering women to reclaim their voices.
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Rashon McDonald.
- 0:01Speaker 2: Our host is weekly Money Making Conversation Masterclass show. The
- 0:04Speaker 2: interviews and information that this show provides offer everyone it's
- 0:08Speaker 2: time to start reading other people's success stories and start
- 0:11Speaker 2: living your own.
- 0:12Speaker 1: I'm talking about you now.
- 0:14Speaker 2: If you want to be a guest on my show,
- 0:15Speaker 2: Money Making Conversations Masterclass, please visit our website, Moneymakingconversations dot
- 0:21Speaker 2: com and click to be a guest. But if you're
- 0:24Speaker 2: a small business owner, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, influencer, a nonprofit, now,
- 0:29Speaker 2: let's get this show rolling. My guess is a certified
- 0:33Speaker 2: neuroscience coach, criminal justice professor, author and mentor who has
- 0:38Speaker 2: dedicated her life to helping others rise above self doubt, fear,
- 0:42Speaker 2: and circumstance to live in their full power.
- 0:46Speaker 1: She is the.
- 0:46Speaker 2: Founder of one Million Lives Transform, a global movement helping
- 0:51Speaker 2: women unmute their voices and lead with authenticity, confidence and purpose.
- 0:57Speaker 2: Please welcome to Money Making Conversations Masterclass, Doctor Stephanie Wall.
- 1:01Speaker 1: How you doing, doctor Stephanie?
- 1:03Speaker 3: Hey, how are you doing with Shaan? Listen? Thank you
- 1:05Speaker 3: for that? Oh I just wanted to hear one more time.
- 1:08Speaker 2: Well, you know when you got the credits. They are legitimate.
- 1:11Speaker 2: They just roll off my lips. He I'm telling you
- 1:15Speaker 2: something else about Dr wal It was more. I had
- 1:18Speaker 2: to cut it down. I had to cut it down
- 1:19Speaker 2: because I can't I have a thirty minute show. I
- 1:21Speaker 2: can't be introduced you m for five minutes. So I
- 1:24Speaker 2: went to win the highlights. And I think that you
- 1:26Speaker 2: get a clear understanding with this interview. When I say
- 1:30Speaker 2: the word mentor, she means it. When I talk about
- 1:33Speaker 2: transformative thought process and helping people achieve their next level
- 1:38Speaker 2: of opportunity, she does that. With that being said, let's
- 1:41Speaker 2: talk about your criminal justice professor.
- 1:45Speaker 1: Talk to us about that.
- 1:46Speaker 3: So you know I for twenty years.
- 1:49Speaker 4: I actually served in law enforcement when I retired, and
- 1:53Speaker 4: while I was there, I was a professor at our
- 1:56Speaker 4: local university here in Maryland, one of them, and I
- 2:00Speaker 4: still serve because here's the thing, when you work in
- 2:04Speaker 4: the field, more people complain about how people are serving
- 2:07Speaker 4: in law enforcement. Right, I served well for twenty years.
- 2:11Speaker 4: We're still very proud of it. Folks are still talking
- 2:13Speaker 4: about raving. But I wanted to teach people how to
- 2:16Speaker 4: serve the right way, so not once I retired, I
- 2:20Speaker 4: didn't stop teaching at the University of Levels. I teach leaders,
- 2:25Speaker 4: chief of police, of commanders, and those who are just
- 2:31Speaker 4: getting into law enforcement not only the laws, but how
- 2:34Speaker 4: to ethically.
- 2:37Speaker 3: Serve in those positions.
- 2:38Speaker 2: Now you're an interesting place. You're in that Maryland, DC area, right, correct? Okay,
- 2:43Speaker 2: I gotta ask the question about it. But for our
- 2:46Speaker 2: President Trump is doing with the National Guard a lot
- 2:50Speaker 2: of people. I've been there, in and out. I'll be
- 2:52Speaker 2: honest with you, I really don't see him. I don't
- 2:55Speaker 2: know where he has the post of that. I come
- 2:57Speaker 2: in via the Reagan Airport. I've taken the Amtrak's train
- 3:03Speaker 2: in several times. So what is he accomplishing? You're there,
- 3:09Speaker 2: you know you have a background of criminal justice as
- 3:11Speaker 2: a professor. What is the perception and do you feel
- 3:16Speaker 2: it was necessary?
- 3:18Speaker 3: I'm going to.
- 3:18Speaker 4: Say, out the gate is my girl, Sonya was saying
- 3:20Speaker 4: Sony PRUITTZ right, who's all all over national television talking
- 3:23Speaker 4: about she also is a retired commander.
- 3:27Speaker 3: This is this posturing.
- 3:30Speaker 4: And I'm going to tell you I was in Washington
- 3:34Speaker 4: and where if you go.
- 3:35Speaker 3: To some of the museums, right, if you.
- 3:38Speaker 4: Go to some of those places that you really not
- 3:41Speaker 4: even museums anything. There's a federal building, you may see somebody.
- 3:46Speaker 3: In uniform one or two. Because this is where I
- 3:48Speaker 3: saw them.
- 3:49Speaker 4: They look like security guards standing in front of a building.
- 3:52Speaker 4: And they even looked like, why am I here? Very uncomfortable?
- 3:57Speaker 4: This is I'm going to tell you, it's a bunch
- 3:59Speaker 4: of part strength and want I want us not to
- 4:01Speaker 4: get distracted. Right, this is a this is a distraction
- 4:05Speaker 4: from some other stuff. And I'm going to tell you
- 4:07Speaker 4: that it has nothing to do with law enforcement enforcing
- 4:10Speaker 4: any laws because there's nothing going on right, nothing that
- 4:13Speaker 4: the local police can't handle. And I'm going to tell
- 4:16Speaker 4: you for most of the local police, they don't like
- 4:18Speaker 4: it either.
- 4:20Speaker 3: They just know.
- 4:20Speaker 4: But hey, right, some of them are I guess just
- 4:23Speaker 4: keeping their mouths closed.
- 4:24Speaker 3: I guess.
- 4:25Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to educate people about the National Guard.
- 4:27Speaker 2: A National Guard are as close to regular everyday people
- 4:31Speaker 2: as you can get, okay, And so basically you're taking
- 4:35Speaker 2: people away from their normal lifestyle because anybody who studs
- 4:39Speaker 2: us with the National Guard, yes they want to serve
- 4:41Speaker 2: their country, but yes they have an everyday lifestyle and
- 4:44Speaker 2: the benefits of that everyday lifestyle from being uh some
- 4:49Speaker 2: people called weekend warrior.
- 4:51Speaker 1: And so now you put you use the word uncomfortable.
- 4:54Speaker 2: You're absolutely correct, I do believe because when your mindset,
- 4:58Speaker 2: if you're going to serve, you're going to and enforced
- 5:02Speaker 2: things out of this country, not serving people that are
- 5:05Speaker 2: your maybe your neighbors.
- 5:08Speaker 4: Correct, some of them are were and or were federal workers.
- 5:14Speaker 4: Right now you've been called for this and or you
- 5:18Speaker 4: the palmer, the teacher, right whatever, the person brook at
- 5:22Speaker 4: the car dealership. But today you've been called up and
- 5:25Speaker 4: cold to duty. But you were not last time you
- 5:28Speaker 4: was doing doing anything with two weeks ago and one
- 5:31Speaker 4: two months ago on the weekend or those two weeks
- 5:33Speaker 4: a year that you've been serving.
- 5:35Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, I just wanted to get your
- 5:38Speaker 2: feel on it and just expose some information to my audience.
- 5:41Speaker 2: If they are interested in traveling to uh DC the
- 5:44Speaker 2: holidays are coming up, please go uh Like I said,
- 5:47Speaker 2: I was not stressed. I was not putting the pace
- 5:50Speaker 2: of endangerment. I was not uncomfortable and my many travels.
- 5:54Speaker 2: In fact, I'd be going there uh next month and
- 5:57Speaker 2: also the following month. So again let's talked about you,
- 6:00Speaker 2: doctor Stefan wrong. You've often talked about unmuting your voice.
- 6:04Speaker 2: What does that mean?
- 6:06Speaker 3: Listen?
- 6:07Speaker 4: I was once and like everybody else, we have all
- 6:10Speaker 4: experienced things in our lives, periods and our lives when
- 6:13Speaker 4: we have lost our voice. And when I say lost
- 6:15Speaker 4: our voice, lost our ability to speak our truths, or
- 6:17Speaker 4: for whatever from some people call it imposter syndrome. Some
- 6:21Speaker 4: people call it just you just haven't your your self
- 6:25Speaker 4: conscious has been or your self awareness or you somehow
- 6:29Speaker 4: your self esteem has been challenged.
- 6:31Speaker 3: So now you just stop talking.
- 6:34Speaker 4: So before we could even deal with why you stopped,
- 6:36Speaker 4: you muted yourself. I would use the example of myself
- 6:40Speaker 4: and many other women as we got elevated. Sometimes we
- 6:43Speaker 4: put people in positions and we don't prepare them with
- 6:46Speaker 4: the mindset for the position. So when we get in
- 6:48Speaker 4: that room, we don't think we belong in there. So
- 6:49Speaker 4: we just sit in the room. We have the answer
- 6:52Speaker 4: to the question, but we're not opening our.
- 6:54Speaker 1: Mouths Now, I've been there, I've been there. I think
- 6:58Speaker 1: that your mind can raise You don't know. You don't
- 7:00Speaker 1: want to be embarrassed one.
- 7:03Speaker 2: You don't want to saying anything that will be people
- 7:06Speaker 2: can question your ability to lead. Now, but you have
- 7:11Speaker 2: been placed in that position. So I have you on
- 7:14Speaker 2: this show to help us with some techniques and also
- 7:17Speaker 2: how to unmute ourselves in those situations, because that situation
- 7:22Speaker 2: happens in a lot of situations. You can get a
- 7:24Speaker 2: bad beat a restaurant and the meal that's been served
- 7:29Speaker 2: to you is not a good meal, but you mute
- 7:31Speaker 2: yourself and pay the bill, maybe even tip, and walk
- 7:36Speaker 2: out the restaurant instead of saying, excuse me, this is
- 7:39Speaker 2: not quality service, this is not a good meal. Can
- 7:42Speaker 2: I speak to somebody? So I just want to let
- 7:44Speaker 2: everybody know what you're talking about is not just an
- 7:47Speaker 2: employment situations, it's in relationships.
- 7:50Speaker 1: It's a lot of things.
- 7:51Speaker 2: So talk to us how each situation one should be
- 7:55Speaker 2: able to not so much be challenged, but be honest
- 7:59Speaker 2: with your situation exactly.
- 8:01Speaker 3: So I'm going to tell you I like the music
- 8:02Speaker 3: that start with awareness.
- 8:04Speaker 4: Noticed in that moment that you are meeting yourself, Notice
- 8:09Speaker 4: right then and there.
- 8:10Speaker 3: So if in using that example, I mean I've been
- 8:13Speaker 3: there too.
- 8:14Speaker 4: I've been there, been in that restaurant and have paid
- 8:17Speaker 4: that money and instead of and then get complained about
- 8:20Speaker 4: it all the way home. So it's okay, it's okay
- 8:26Speaker 4: at tip, yes and tip? And notice is this a habit?
- 8:31Speaker 4: Is this something that I do all the time? And
- 8:33Speaker 4: how can I change it? And you know that he
- 8:34Speaker 4: is the deal? Notice it and breathe because sometimes we
- 8:39Speaker 4: just stop breathing. Breathing that moment, think it for you
- 8:42Speaker 4: got a couple of seconds. Hey what else can I
- 8:45Speaker 4: do differently? And you can talk to the person, say hey, listen,
- 8:50Speaker 4: if if.
- 8:50Speaker 3: The way that sucked, maybe you.
- 8:52Speaker 4: Know, I want to talk to the waiter, but if
- 8:54Speaker 4: it's somebody else, hey, I like to speak.
- 8:55Speaker 3: Hey, just have a moment. Please speak to the manager.
- 8:58Speaker 2: Right, but some people will who you with will mute. You.
- 9:04Speaker 2: Don't say nothing, don't say nothing. Don't make us see
- 9:07Speaker 2: have you? Don't make us seen? All you trying to
- 9:10Speaker 2: do is have a conversation.
- 9:11Speaker 3: Sure do you say, I'm not gonna make a scene.
- 9:13Speaker 4: I'm not gonna make a see I'm having a comm
- 9:15Speaker 4: say you know what, listen and this is where you
- 9:17Speaker 4: got to You got to manage the group.
- 9:19Speaker 3: Yes, you gotta manage the group. You got to lean
- 9:21Speaker 3: in because here's the day. There's a scene.
- 9:24Speaker 4: And when you just ask, like you know the feeld
- 9:26Speaker 4: Fel found right, I know how you feel what I'm
- 9:29Speaker 4: gonna do, because if we don't.
- 9:30Speaker 3: Do this right now, I would probably feel the same way.
- 9:33Speaker 3: But you know what I found right.
- 9:35Speaker 4: You have to manage the group and let them know.
- 9:37Speaker 4: If listen, I hear what you're saying. But if we
- 9:40Speaker 4: don't say anything, then this business will not elevate. This
- 9:45Speaker 4: person may not know that they the service they're providing
- 9:49Speaker 4: is not good service, and they may not keep this job,
- 9:51Speaker 4: and they might need you know how to get them
- 9:52Speaker 4: get into their head a little bit. Say look, I'm
- 9:54Speaker 4: not gonna make no scene, but I am gonna make
- 9:57Speaker 4: somebody aware.
- 9:59Speaker 3: Look, listen on your face.
- 10:00Speaker 4: Now you might have to lean in, you know, but
- 10:03Speaker 4: you have to say something if leive me. I always
- 10:07Speaker 4: use this example when and I teach I'm a man, woman,
- 10:12Speaker 4: child on good care who it is. When you not
- 10:14Speaker 4: you don't feel your.
- 10:15Speaker 3: Own purpose and power, you can't stand in it.
- 10:18Speaker 4: An example would be when you're in a meeting now,
- 10:21Speaker 4: particularly women, and we're in a big conference room in
- 10:26Speaker 4: it and you're the only woman at the table, and
- 10:27Speaker 4: you get ready to make your point. I tell them
- 10:30Speaker 4: to stand up. Stand up when you speak, stand up,
- 10:36Speaker 4: and one everybody in the rooms because they're on their phones.
- 10:39Speaker 4: They're gonna turn around like, what is stuff you commanding
- 10:43Speaker 4: their attention? Then also, well just stand on up and
- 10:47Speaker 4: make your point and then sit back down. Now, what's
- 10:51Speaker 4: gonna cause one, it's gonna help me to project because
- 10:53Speaker 4: you didn't help the sound to come out. It's gonna
- 10:55Speaker 4: help you to project, especially for those people that can't
- 10:57Speaker 4: raise their voices, they don't project well, stand up saying
- 11:01Speaker 4: it's gonna make you feel a little more powerful, You
- 11:02Speaker 4: feel a little bit more confident. You will turn your
- 11:05Speaker 4: body around, you will address everybody in the room. You
- 11:08Speaker 4: will look more confident. Because what's the problem is oftentimes
- 11:11Speaker 4: those people want to elevate in their positions, but what
- 11:13Speaker 4: the people that are watching them seeing them do is shrink.
- 11:16Speaker 4: But when you stand up, you standing full and full.
- 11:18Speaker 3: And they said, well, you know what, maybe she can lead.
- 11:20Speaker 3: She commanded this room.
- 11:21Speaker 2: Right right now, there's some techniques to just don't just
- 11:24Speaker 2: stand up, stand up, you know, stand up. I have
- 11:28Speaker 2: a few words I want to share, I have some
- 11:30Speaker 2: thoughts I want to add to that. Yes, push back
- 11:33Speaker 2: when you're talking, push back and then stand up. Don't
- 11:37Speaker 2: just stand up and start talking that's gonna shock right yeah.
- 11:42Speaker 4: And if ra Shawn just made a point, you build
- 11:44Speaker 4: on it. And you know what, I just want to
- 11:46Speaker 4: be that was a great point that Rashawn just made.
- 11:48Speaker 3: Thank you Rashaun.
- 11:49Speaker 4: I'd like to build on that if you were you know,
- 11:53Speaker 4: acknowledge the great point.
- 11:54Speaker 3: Don't just ask like you're the only one in the room.
- 11:56Speaker 3: Got a good point to make.
- 11:58Speaker 4: They will then Shawn will say, oh, right now, she
- 12:00Speaker 4: will give you his attention.
- 12:02Speaker 3: Y'all heard what she just said. She's both on her point.
- 12:04Speaker 2: All right now, y'all get to listen right now. I
- 12:07Speaker 2: know this now because I've done this. Definitely you're gonna
- 12:10Speaker 2: get teased afterwards. Now, Oh you have to stand up
- 12:12Speaker 2: making your or you just couldn't sit down to make
- 12:15Speaker 2: your point. But guess what, they remember that moment. But
- 12:19Speaker 2: that levels into consistency because I love the whole conversation
- 12:24Speaker 2: about unmuting your voice, but understanding the situation around you
- 12:30Speaker 2: can create you not to unmute your voice, but then
- 12:33Speaker 2: other people, your coworkers, your who you're married to, who
- 12:37Speaker 2: you dating, or your friends, they can also mute your voice.
- 12:42Speaker 1: And so you have to be comfortable enough.
- 12:45Speaker 2: Like you said, to be able to say, allow me
- 12:48Speaker 2: to say this and you and what.
- 12:51Speaker 4: It is, and thank you for that, Rashaan, because what
- 12:53Speaker 4: you are rewriting the narrative right when I said the narrative,
- 12:56Speaker 4: what you tell yourself about yourself, because sometimes I'm.
- 12:59Speaker 3: Gonna say for you, rion one.
- 13:00Speaker 4: I was muted because I believe because somebody told me
- 13:03Speaker 4: you ain't got nothing to say, I'm not gonna listen
- 13:05Speaker 4: to you, and I believed it, right, so tell I
- 13:10Speaker 4: said myself, Okay, I got something to say. And of
- 13:13Speaker 4: course there was you talked too fast, your voice too.
- 13:16Speaker 3: Heavy, and I was like I talked, I.
- 13:19Speaker 4: Talked with zest, and my voice is not too heavy,
- 13:22Speaker 4: it's sultry. So I had to I had to rewrite
- 13:25Speaker 4: the narrative of what I believed about myself.
- 13:28Speaker 3: And I found I'm not the only one.
- 13:30Speaker 1: Right right, right, right right.
- 13:32Speaker 2: But you know, the thing about it is understanding criticism,
- 13:36Speaker 2: because criticism can't be a challenge.
- 13:38Speaker 1: I know that. I remember a long.
- 13:41Speaker 2: Time ago because I started my career out as a
- 13:43Speaker 2: stand up comedian, and I remember I would go on
- 13:46Speaker 2: stage and I would get what I felt tremendous laughs.
- 13:49Speaker 2: And I remember the owner I remember his name, Paul Menzel.
- 13:53Speaker 2: He called me and decided to Shawn, you could be
- 13:56Speaker 2: a lot funny if people understood what you were saying.
- 14:00Speaker 2: While he said, you have this accent and people really
- 14:03Speaker 2: can't catch all your jokes. And I went, oh, okay, really,
- 14:08Speaker 2: And I remember when when when Steve Harvey now was
- 14:12Speaker 2: nobody thought he could go to New York and be
- 14:15Speaker 2: successful because they thought that that country traying ain't gonna
- 14:18Speaker 2: make it up in New York. Now he's the most
- 14:20Speaker 2: longest running host on Family Few. So people can stereotype
- 14:24Speaker 2: you and because they want to challenge you and also
- 14:28Speaker 2: intimidate you. That intimidation plays a lot a big role
- 14:32Speaker 2: into fear. Let's talk about fear, doctor Stephanie Wall.
- 14:36Speaker 4: Listen, let's talk about neuroscience tells us and that in
- 14:41Speaker 4: science period psychology, but what we tell ourselves? Right, So
- 14:44Speaker 4: I always talk about you know, what was what junk
- 14:48Speaker 4: and what is? Les Brown said, junk and junk stay right.
- 14:52Speaker 4: I used to I literally used to say junk and
- 14:54Speaker 4: junk out junk and junk out right. But then I
- 14:56Speaker 4: was like, I realized, Okay, doing my studies, it said, listen,
- 15:02Speaker 4: step what it doesn't matter with our brain, this big
- 15:07Speaker 4: computer that we have here, all of the things that
- 15:09Speaker 4: come we feed our minds, all the things that I
- 15:12Speaker 4: say to myself is more important.
- 15:14Speaker 3: It does more.
- 15:14Speaker 4: Damage to me than anything anybody in the world could
- 15:17Speaker 4: say to me or I could read in a book.
- 15:19Speaker 4: And so I have changed about if I want to
- 15:22Speaker 4: change something about myself, every time I had to change
- 15:25Speaker 4: the people I was around, the things I was listening to,
- 15:29Speaker 4: and get into rooms with people who were talking about
- 15:32Speaker 4: things that I wanted to learn versus the junk I
- 15:34Speaker 4: was feeding myself. So I'm going to tell you that
- 15:37Speaker 4: in mindset, I know we also we keep hearing the
- 15:40Speaker 4: same moment like, well, okay, mindset, mindset, But it really
- 15:44Speaker 4: is about mindset. Really, it really is about what you
- 15:48Speaker 4: believe about yourself. It really is about what you hear
- 15:52Speaker 4: over and over again. If you tell a child, if
- 15:56Speaker 4: you tell any child you're bad, you're just so bad,
- 16:00Speaker 4: you're bad, they will be bad.
- 16:02Speaker 3: They will rise to the occasion.
- 16:04Speaker 4: But just the same if you tell any human I
- 16:07Speaker 4: d double days. We used to like to say, go
- 16:10Speaker 4: out there with your employees, the people that you serve,
- 16:12Speaker 4: your family, and your friends and speak life into them.
- 16:16Speaker 4: Just to make it simple, to take the science out
- 16:18Speaker 4: of it, speak life into them, change what you say
- 16:20Speaker 4: to them about themselves.
- 16:21Speaker 3: You know, see, you know what you are the most
- 16:23Speaker 3: amazing person. I like the way you did.
- 16:25Speaker 4: Don't don't just fill no philoph talk about what it is.
- 16:28Speaker 4: I appreciate how you did this. Thank you for helping
- 16:33Speaker 4: me with this. You made me really understand it because
- 16:36Speaker 4: the way you broke that day would be authentic. Don't
- 16:39Speaker 4: be blowing those smoke up nobodies behind so they know fakeness.
- 16:43Speaker 1: Right right and in this authenticity right now.
- 16:46Speaker 4: Correct authenticity. I don't Someone told me that steth You
- 16:52Speaker 4: know you smile a lot. I said, you know, all
- 16:53Speaker 4: of my life, all of my life, I have heard
- 16:58Speaker 4: you cannot be a real person like that, can't be
- 17:02Speaker 4: who you really are. You smile too much, You're too
- 17:04Speaker 4: happy all of the time. And what they don't.
- 17:07Speaker 3: Know is that's the version they do of me now
- 17:09Speaker 3: as an adult. But I didn't used to smile right right.
- 17:13Speaker 3: Life was rough.
- 17:15Speaker 4: I was trying to figure out why I was my
- 17:17Speaker 4: life different than all the other kids. And so once
- 17:20Speaker 4: I realized, you know, oh my, that's what the smile about.
- 17:22Speaker 4: I smile, I told somebody today. I know life is
- 17:25Speaker 4: rough right now in this world. This world is crazy,
- 17:28Speaker 4: and I can focus on that, or I can look
- 17:30Speaker 4: out right now, I can see the blue skies. I'm
- 17:34Speaker 4: focusing on what right now in this moment, on the
- 17:36Speaker 4: great people and the great things and the blessings I'm
- 17:38Speaker 4: having right now, and that makes me smile, and my smile,
- 17:43Speaker 4: this smile makes other people smile right right, and that
- 17:47Speaker 4: makes me and them feel good. So I'm saying it
- 17:50Speaker 4: doesn't have to be this big elaborate thing. Do you know,
- 17:54Speaker 4: when I'm walking into any place I do business, if
- 17:58Speaker 4: the person I'm doing business smiles at me, I'll I
- 18:00Speaker 4: can't every time I do the same thing. And I'm serious,
- 18:02Speaker 4: I mean it. Thank you for Shane. You smiled me
- 18:05Speaker 4: and they smile. And it's because people will give me
- 18:08Speaker 4: mean looks all the time.
- 18:09Speaker 3: It's not them, it's the situation.
- 18:12Speaker 4: So I tried to change their moment, give them a
- 18:14Speaker 4: little bit of light in that little moment that they
- 18:17Speaker 4: have with us.
- 18:17Speaker 3: And if what would happen if all of us did
- 18:19Speaker 3: that right.
- 18:23Speaker 4: And I'm talking on your on your job and your
- 18:27Speaker 4: house with your children, And because of that, that has
- 18:30Speaker 4: changed who I am, and it changed.
- 18:32Speaker 3: And I know for a fact that wherever I.
- 18:35Speaker 4: Go, because I'm intentional, I change the spaces and the
- 18:39Speaker 4: places that I am in.
- 18:40Speaker 1: Cool.
- 18:40Speaker 2: I'm talking to certified neuroscience coach, criminal justice professor, author
- 18:45Speaker 2: and mentor. She has founded one million lives transformed. Explain
- 18:51Speaker 2: to us what that is and why did you find
- 18:54Speaker 2: found it?
- 18:55Speaker 1: Found it?
- 18:57Speaker 4: So here's the deal with Well, you know they tell us,
- 18:59Speaker 4: don't be a gatekeeper. Once I went and I mean,
- 19:02Speaker 4: I look, let me just say this.
- 19:04Speaker 3: Put the people in the bag.
- 19:05Speaker 4: I went out there and got me a coach and listen,
- 19:08Speaker 4: you may need two three four.
- 19:09Speaker 3: Coats because you know, you depend on what it was.
- 19:10Speaker 3: I realized that I needed.
- 19:11Speaker 4: To get some Sunday to how do I get something
- 19:15Speaker 4: besides my schooling, besides my schooling? How do I take
- 19:21Speaker 4: what I've learned and helped myself? How do and more importantly, once,
- 19:28Speaker 4: how do I take.
- 19:28Speaker 3: All of this?
- 19:29Speaker 4: I know I tell everybody else, but how do I
- 19:30Speaker 4: help myself? So I needed to become self aware. I
- 19:33Speaker 4: need to do all the self reflect I needed to
- 19:35Speaker 4: know how to use my voice.
- 19:37Speaker 3: Why do I think the way I do? I went
- 19:39Speaker 3: and got to help I needed.
- 19:40Speaker 4: And once I transformed myself, I realized I am a
- 19:43Speaker 4: total different person and I'm doing great things in this world.
- 19:47Speaker 4: But I'm watching a lot of people around I felt
- 19:49Speaker 4: like I had it was like a hidden secret.
- 19:52Speaker 3: So I said, I'm with you.
- 19:53Speaker 4: I launched one million livee transformed because I figured my
- 19:57Speaker 4: training is transformed one life at a time, than each
- 20:00Speaker 4: one of us together will change the lives of millions,
- 20:04Speaker 4: millions of women. To help them to listen, mute their
- 20:07Speaker 4: voices right right, all of them use their voices. They can
- 20:10Speaker 4: transform the spaces and places they're in the same way
- 20:13Speaker 4: that I'm doing. I'm not gatekeeping. I'm giving it away.
- 20:15Speaker 4: I'm giving it away.
- 20:17Speaker 1: Please don't go anywhere.
- 20:18Speaker 2: We'll be right back with more money Making Conversations Master Class.
- 20:27Speaker 2: Welcome back to Money Making Conversations master Class hosted by
- 20:30Speaker 2: me Rashaan McDonald. Money Making Conversations master Class continues online
- 20:35Speaker 2: at Moneymaking Conversations dot com and follow money Making Conversations
- 20:39Speaker 2: master Class on Facebook, X and Instagram. You know you
- 20:43Speaker 2: warn many hats because I said that in my intro.
- 20:46Speaker 2: Law Enforcement Executive Professor Deacon with and brought that US
- 20:51Speaker 2: coach and mentor how do all these roles connect to
- 20:54Speaker 2: your life's purpose? And telling us what is your life purpose?
- 20:59Speaker 2: We just came off of talking about the one million's
- 21:01Speaker 2: lives transformed, but technically that isn't always the purpose of
- 21:06Speaker 2: your life?
- 21:08Speaker 1: What is your purpose?
- 21:09Speaker 2: And wearing all these hats, how do they create the
- 21:13Speaker 2: authenticity that we're hearing in this interview?
- 21:17Speaker 4: So you know, respond, it's so funny because I went
- 21:18Speaker 4: last time, I was out in US and I was
- 21:20Speaker 4: at the Speaker's UH event and you spoke and you
- 21:24Speaker 4: mentioned talked about mentor.
- 21:27Speaker 3: Oh.
- 21:27Speaker 4: I was leaning all the way in because you were
- 21:29Speaker 4: speaking my language. I said, if above all the things,
- 21:33Speaker 4: all these titles, I am.
- 21:35Speaker 3: A mentor.
- 21:37Speaker 4: And I am intentional about it. And I believe that
- 21:42Speaker 4: you know they I've heard it say, I want to
- 21:44Speaker 4: say Tremember I said that our gifts are not for us,
- 21:47Speaker 4: there for other people and when and I know that,
- 21:52Speaker 4: and some of the folks say, what is my gift?
- 21:53Speaker 4: What's my gift? And I believe, I believe, based on
- 21:56Speaker 4: my faith, that those gifts are those things that you
- 21:58Speaker 4: do that come naturally to you, you that make you
- 22:01Speaker 4: can not only feel good, but when you unleash them,
- 22:04Speaker 4: it transforms somebody else's life. And my purpose, I know
- 22:08Speaker 4: is is not just this right lip service, but wherever,
- 22:12Speaker 4: whatever it means. If I'm in, if I'm in a
- 22:14Speaker 4: space and no opportunity to unleash whatever gifts is needed
- 22:19Speaker 4: that I can do well it comes easy to me
- 22:21Speaker 4: in that moment, then I must not walk away without
- 22:25Speaker 4: transforming that space and using it, however that looks. In church,
- 22:30Speaker 4: I show up as the deacon. I show up and
- 22:32Speaker 4: support that my faith. I share my faith equally. I'm
- 22:36Speaker 4: not ashamed of it.
- 22:37Speaker 3: Everybody knows my Christian I'll babies, I'll give you.
- 22:39Speaker 4: A good word and no matter where I am right
- 22:43Speaker 4: and if you need me to pray for you, which
- 22:45Speaker 4: I have in uniform, out of uniform, in a courtroom,
- 22:51Speaker 4: in a board room, I talk about good as God
- 22:55Speaker 4: is a good God.
- 22:59Speaker 2: To some people that you get on my nerve. You know,
- 23:03Speaker 2: you always violent, you always feeling blissed. You know, why
- 23:08Speaker 2: why do you react to that? And why do they
- 23:10Speaker 2: say that?
- 23:12Speaker 3: Listen?
- 23:12Speaker 4: But my mother, my mother and a teacher, Miss Telephar
- 23:15Speaker 4: and some afraid told me that my energy and my
- 23:18Speaker 4: smile is going to make some people feel uncomfortable.
- 23:20Speaker 3: It has nothing to do with me, but everything to
- 23:21Speaker 3: do with them, because.
- 23:22Speaker 4: Sometimes all of the energy your light shines on people
- 23:26Speaker 4: what they're perceived shortcomings are.
- 23:29Speaker 3: And I and here's the thing. When they start that,
- 23:33Speaker 3: can you shure all that a good? Anybody come in?
- 23:36Speaker 3: But good morning? And they said, oh yeah, I had.
- 23:39Speaker 4: A professor to say what's good about it? And for
- 23:42Speaker 4: a second I was like, oh so. Then I said,
- 23:45Speaker 4: well I woke up right, you don't have an answer right?
- 23:51Speaker 4: And then I heard someone tell me she'd be like, seriously,
- 23:55Speaker 4: can't nobody be that happy? I said, you know, we
- 23:57Speaker 4: got Atlantic teach choices. You can choose to be happy
- 24:01Speaker 4: or feel happy, or we can choose to let this
- 24:05Speaker 4: world be this down. I said, I've been beat down enough,
- 24:07Speaker 4: and I refuse to live another day. It's a choice,
- 24:10Speaker 4: it's it's a choice. And I choose to be happy.
- 24:12Speaker 4: I choose happiness even if through storms.
- 24:15Speaker 3: And sometimes I go.
- 24:16Speaker 4: And and I before a storm, or while I'm in one,
- 24:19Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, Lord, help me, help me. I reached
- 24:25Speaker 4: off for some help and and me and the Lord
- 24:27Speaker 4: LAWD said okay, you just prayed to me.
- 24:29Speaker 3: And I call on my friends and my people and
- 24:31Speaker 3: my and the folks that I say.
- 24:33Speaker 4: You know what, I'm on a cliff m those people
- 24:36Speaker 4: that I know like me that they'll pray for you
- 24:38Speaker 4: and say and come over there and tell you.
- 24:40Speaker 3: Some truth and all and speak truth to you like
- 24:42Speaker 3: you know, well you was wrong. Let me be couse,
- 24:43Speaker 3: get better.
- 24:44Speaker 4: I call those people that will tell me the truth
- 24:46Speaker 4: but will love me through it. I got my mentors
- 24:50Speaker 4: that my circle was tight, because you know everybody, you
- 24:52Speaker 4: can't let everybody speak into your spirit. But right, but
- 24:56Speaker 4: I call them and I say, this is where I'm
- 24:57Speaker 4: at today was rough. I think I might have made
- 25:02Speaker 4: a mistake or I might have I don't know if
- 25:06Speaker 4: I did the right thing. And maybe like what's all
- 25:08Speaker 4: to me?
- 25:09Speaker 1: You know, doctor Wall.
- 25:10Speaker 2: You know I'm speaking to doctor Wall, like I said,
- 25:13Speaker 2: She's a certified neuroscience coach. And you about helping people
- 25:19Speaker 2: rise above self doubt, which we keep talking about, fear
- 25:22Speaker 2: and circumstance to live in their full power. When we
- 25:26Speaker 2: live in an era today because of social media, you know,
- 25:30Speaker 2: because of the fact that people can contact you anytime
- 25:33Speaker 2: they feel like it. You know, when I grew up,
- 25:36Speaker 2: guess what you left the house? Guess what you got
- 25:39Speaker 2: a phone call where you pitched the little message machine.
- 25:42Speaker 2: When you got back home you found out.
- 25:43Speaker 1: Who called you. Now you can't do that anymore.
- 25:46Speaker 2: And so you constantly are being restricted on being able
- 25:51Speaker 2: to find some your space.
- 25:54Speaker 1: And so with your process that.
- 25:57Speaker 2: Your one million lives Transform, how you helping us get there?
- 26:01Speaker 2: And also before you answer the question how can we
- 26:04Speaker 2: reach you?
- 26:06Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm gonna say boundaries.
- 26:07Speaker 4: I know you have heard it, boundaries, And if you
- 26:10Speaker 4: found me while I'm going that same thing.
- 26:12Speaker 3: You where you can reach me at one million.
- 26:14Speaker 4: Dollars Transform dot com and of course doctor Stephanie Wall
- 26:19Speaker 4: everywhere on every platform, from LinkedIn to the gram and
- 26:22Speaker 4: on the Book of Faces and all those places. But
- 26:25Speaker 4: I want to tell you that all my clients I
- 26:27Speaker 4: fought with boundaries, was well, I fought with self awareness.
- 26:30Speaker 4: Because we don't know where ourself. We can't do anything
- 26:32Speaker 4: from there. But once I teach them about being self aware,
- 26:35Speaker 4: we talk about boundaries and why it's important to have them,
- 26:38Speaker 4: and why it's okay to have them, right because you know,
- 26:43Speaker 4: for all of us, we and particularly women and men,
- 26:48Speaker 4: quite frankly, we don't we are afraid to set some
- 26:51Speaker 4: boundaries so I teach them. Listen, it can be a
- 26:55Speaker 4: little small things. Hey, listen, how about if you are
- 26:59Speaker 4: always available.
- 27:00Speaker 3: On the phone.
- 27:02Speaker 4: Let's set some some some timers on your phone.
- 27:04Speaker 3: Where you're shuting. Your phone just kind of shuts down,
- 27:06Speaker 3: or at least one of them phones. Y'all got to
- 27:08Speaker 3: like me, right.
- 27:10Speaker 4: And or the and no is a complete sentence, uh rashawan.
- 27:18Speaker 4: There's so many people that do this. Hey, can you
- 27:21Speaker 4: come over and help me with thus and so? Oh no,
- 27:25Speaker 4: but I because I and all this, no, no, don't explain.
- 27:29Speaker 4: I have got I have mastered the know and I'll
- 27:32Speaker 4: be like concepting, can you do that's and so?
- 27:35Speaker 3: And I decided singing on Oh no, no, I want
- 27:37Speaker 3: people to help.
- 27:38Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you the doctor all you brought up
- 27:40Speaker 2: brought up something interesting. When people call me and they
- 27:45Speaker 2: asked me what am I doing? I am the conversation. Okay, okay,
- 27:50Speaker 2: all of them now you calling asking me what I'm doing?
- 27:55Speaker 2: She's right there, that is that's not a conversation. I
- 27:59Speaker 2: had a really I remember this real a big executive.
- 28:02Speaker 2: He would call me and he always wanted to ask
- 28:05Speaker 2: me questions about me. And I was saying, I said,
- 28:08Speaker 2: I don't do that. I said, I don't. I don't
- 28:10Speaker 2: have time to just discuss me. And he didn't understand that.
- 28:15Speaker 2: And I tell people all the time, if people call you,
- 28:18Speaker 2: there has to be a purpose for the call. If
- 28:20Speaker 2: people are calling you just to talk, wrong person to
- 28:24Speaker 2: call is me because I want to move my day forward.
- 28:27Speaker 2: I want to move my minutes forward, my hours forward.
- 28:30Speaker 2: And I think if you're on a phone and you're
- 28:33Speaker 2: not talking about moving your life forward, you know, whether
- 28:37Speaker 2: it's a relationship, whether it's business or any family calling you,
- 28:41Speaker 2: that call should not be about recapping the world. But
- 28:47Speaker 2: I tell you, I tell you hit a button with
- 28:49Speaker 2: me when you was talking about people asking you stuff
- 28:52Speaker 2: or want to invite you over to do things for
- 28:55Speaker 2: you that they want to invite you over, and they
- 28:57Speaker 2: specifically say clean and you can make a decision, moves
- 29:00Speaker 2: the furniture, make a decision, help me put together this?
- 29:03Speaker 2: Uh this this is family, but faith make it. That's
- 29:06Speaker 2: that's when people get generic. You got to shut her down.
- 29:10Speaker 2: You gotta said bod just exactly like doctor Walt says.
- 29:14Speaker 1: Otherwise you are going.
- 29:16Speaker 2: To be uh a gossip pen when they bord, they're
- 29:21Speaker 2: gonna call you when they have nothing to do.
- 29:24Speaker 1: In their life.
- 29:24Speaker 2: They're gonna waste your time, and then suddenly your time
- 29:28Speaker 2: has no value. And then they start stereotyping at the
- 29:33Speaker 2: type of person that you are, so when you want
- 29:36Speaker 2: to be yourself, they will mute you.
- 29:41Speaker 4: Okay, wait a minute, so Jealai, I'm gonna give you
- 29:43Speaker 4: little tip I had to learn that. I'm gonna tell
- 29:44Speaker 4: you one of my girlfriend, Gloria, Gloria refol Banks. Y'all,
- 29:47Speaker 4: she taught me this once because she said, Stephanie, because
- 29:52Speaker 4: I remember I was on we know how when you
- 29:53Speaker 4: call your friends.
- 29:54Speaker 3: They're busy.
- 29:55Speaker 4: Busy people don't have time. So she taught all of
- 29:59Speaker 4: us how to call her.
- 30:00Speaker 3: Right, this is what you look And I've been doing
- 30:02Speaker 3: it for over thirty years. Now, y'all, here you go.
- 30:06Speaker 3: If I'm calling you for Sean one, as soon as
- 30:10Speaker 3: you answer the phone.
- 30:12Speaker 4: I'm saying, hey for Sean, this is Stepanie.
- 30:14Speaker 3: Do you do you have a minute. See, first of all,
- 30:17Speaker 3: don't start talking. Don't start talking with people you don't
- 30:20Speaker 3: know they might have a minute, because.
- 30:22Speaker 4: Ra Sean might say, you know, I really don't step
- 30:24Speaker 4: Let me give your call.
- 30:24Speaker 1: Right back, right right?
- 30:25Speaker 3: I mean, how need you call you back?
- 30:27Speaker 4: You know I'm gonna say that, so right and when
- 30:30Speaker 4: you and when you said you a minute, don't.
- 30:32Speaker 3: Take fifteen minutes. Y'all right, I'm calling because of this.
- 30:37Speaker 3: This is what I need. Boom, get right to it.
- 30:40Speaker 3: I mean, don't do no backstory, y'all. Busy. People got
- 30:44Speaker 3: ten seconds asthma, they can do you have? Do you
- 30:47Speaker 3: have a minute? They will tell you they do. And
- 30:50Speaker 3: this is heyer Sean.
- 30:51Speaker 4: Listen, I'm calling because I need this, this, this and this,
- 30:55Speaker 4: and listen, can you help me?
- 30:58Speaker 3: We'll do whatever the thing is.
- 31:00Speaker 2: I'm laughing at doctor Wall because now just and people
- 31:03Speaker 2: have called me. They go, I have two things I
- 31:05Speaker 2: want to talk to you about. Oh I got, I
- 31:07Speaker 2: want to talk about three things. They'll say, you got
- 31:10Speaker 2: five minutes. And that's how they talk to me. And
- 31:13Speaker 2: they know that's, you know, because I've set the rules.
- 31:17Speaker 2: I've said, this is how I want you to communicate.
- 31:19Speaker 2: Because your scheduled. They respect it, and they say I
- 31:22Speaker 2: got They actually tell me, I have three things I
- 31:25Speaker 2: want to talk to you about.
- 31:26Speaker 1: First, two three?
- 31:28Speaker 4: This?
- 31:28Speaker 2: You got five minutes? Hey, brother, listen to me right now.
- 31:31Speaker 2: I need you to be stable for about five minutes.
- 31:34Speaker 2: Can you give that to me? That's how people talk
- 31:37Speaker 2: to me. They specifically tell me exactly what I want
- 31:41Speaker 2: to do. And when I call people, I call people
- 31:44Speaker 2: specifically for the purpose of it. And you know, that's
- 31:49Speaker 2: that's me. I'm not saying that's everybody. But I will
- 31:52Speaker 2: tell you this. If you are a busy person, if
- 31:54Speaker 2: you are a functioning person, and you want people to
- 31:57Speaker 2: have a system of how to communicate with you, then
- 32:01Speaker 2: they should upfront say hey, I got a couple of
- 32:04Speaker 2: the ideas I want to share with you that's happening
- 32:07Speaker 2: in my life.
- 32:08Speaker 1: Then all of a sudden it can be personal. It
- 32:10Speaker 1: can be personal because.
- 32:12Speaker 2: Then I have the option to go, well, can you
- 32:14Speaker 2: can you give you like fifteen minutes to talk? Okay,
- 32:16Speaker 2: we have a timeline. It might go past fifteen minutes,
- 32:19Speaker 2: But did you not You have not trapped me into
- 32:21Speaker 2: a conversation because I look at that clock and go,
- 32:24Speaker 2: hey man, it's fifteen.
- 32:26Speaker 1: Okay, it's time to wrap this up.
- 32:28Speaker 2: Okay. I said fifteen. Now I gave you fifteen okay.
- 32:31Speaker 2: And so that's what the whole this old conversation. I
- 32:34Speaker 2: hope everybody understand what we're talking about with Dr wall
- 32:38Speaker 2: Is about being able to find your voice and being
- 32:41Speaker 2: able to use your voice comfortably in all settings, whether
- 32:46Speaker 2: and not allowing people to I'm gonna use this word
- 32:50Speaker 2: bully you down with that perception of how.
- 32:54Speaker 1: You should act.
- 32:56Speaker 2: That's very important, correct, doctor Walt, That is correct.
- 32:59Speaker 4: Listen, All and change starts for the pause, not just
- 33:03Speaker 4: before it starts with the plan. Because here's wherever you are,
- 33:06Speaker 4: you have you have to see somebody say something and
- 33:10Speaker 4: you either no reaction because you're just so pissed off, right, or.
- 33:15Speaker 3: You react and it just ain't making sense. You look, look,
- 33:17Speaker 3: just pause for a moment. Somebody says something because I
- 33:22Speaker 3: want to. I want to. I'm getting to give somebody
- 33:23Speaker 3: some something.
- 33:24Speaker 4: Right here, you have been offended, right, and instead of
- 33:30Speaker 4: acknowledging in that moment, something like making that person way
- 33:34Speaker 4: without business, you know, becoming getting in a banter. Some
- 33:37Speaker 4: bands are going on, you walk away. Now you have
- 33:39Speaker 4: to cook out mad about it. Listen, you ask a question.
- 33:43Speaker 4: If I said something, you could say, so Stephanie, I
- 33:48Speaker 4: would tell me exactly what you meant.
- 33:50Speaker 1: By that, right, mm hmm, because.
- 33:52Speaker 4: I might have been you know, it might I might
- 33:54Speaker 4: have been You may have taken it incorrectly. I made
- 33:57Speaker 4: it any checked right, and you say it and it
- 34:00Speaker 4: was offensive, then you can say, if I repeated it
- 34:03Speaker 4: because you asked the question, I meant this, and you
- 34:06Speaker 4: could say, if we're friends, say but that you know
- 34:10Speaker 4: that that kind.
- 34:11Speaker 3: Of all sends me stuff. Then they give me the
- 34:14Speaker 3: opportunity to set right there. Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
- 34:17Speaker 2: That wasn't my intention, right, because all these techniques are
- 34:21Speaker 2: so when someone contacts you, Dr Wall, what is the
- 34:24Speaker 2: process of the relationship where you're trying to build on
- 34:29Speaker 2: with these relationships and the benefits.
- 34:31Speaker 4: So I'm going to say when they when they contact me, first,
- 34:34Speaker 4: I have to have a conversation because I'm a coach, right,
- 34:37Speaker 4: I'm a consultant, and sometimes we may or may not
- 34:40Speaker 4: be the best bit. So you might like what you're here,
- 34:44Speaker 4: and you may have a problem that you might need
- 34:46Speaker 4: a therapist because I am a coach and a consultant.
- 34:49Speaker 3: But I have a conversation so I can see what
- 34:51Speaker 3: is it that you need?
- 34:53Speaker 4: And am I the right person to get you there?
- 34:55Speaker 4: And it may and I may be or it may
- 34:57Speaker 4: be somebody that I.
- 34:58Speaker 3: Am associated with may be another coach.
- 35:00Speaker 4: I'll say, you know what, Rashawn or or you might
- 35:04Speaker 4: be needed, you might once need more media help, and
- 35:07Speaker 4: then that would be one of my colleagues.
- 35:10Speaker 3: Right.
- 35:10Speaker 4: Well, whatever it is that you need, you come to
- 35:13Speaker 4: me so we can build on it. Because here's the thing.
- 35:16Speaker 4: I'm not gatekeeping, but if you are somebody that's out
- 35:20Speaker 4: there and you absolutely know I've been muted as a professional,
- 35:25Speaker 4: as a human, as whomever you are, and I don't
- 35:28Speaker 4: know how to get to my next then I need
- 35:31Speaker 4: to talk to you.
- 35:32Speaker 2: And I'm just going to help other people out who
- 35:34Speaker 2: are employees and companies. That's what HR is all about.
- 35:37Speaker 2: You go to the HR department and feel you can't speak,
- 35:41Speaker 2: feel you can't share your idea.
- 35:42Speaker 1: That's being muted.
- 35:44Speaker 2: And so this is a broad This is a great interview,
- 35:46Speaker 2: I want to tell you because we're talking about a
- 35:49Speaker 2: lot of things that happen to people in so many
- 35:51Speaker 2: different ways. And some of it we do control because
- 35:55Speaker 2: we can't mute ourselves. But a lot of situations, I
- 35:58Speaker 2: will tell you probably about native percent of it, people
- 36:01Speaker 2: are trying to mute you. They're trying to tell you
- 36:04Speaker 2: to fine how you should think, to find how you
- 36:06Speaker 2: should live and the direction you should take your relationship.
- 36:10Speaker 2: Because muting isn't always verbalized.
- 36:14Speaker 1: It can be through action.
- 36:16Speaker 2: It can be people can mute your opportunities at a
- 36:20Speaker 2: job by not telling you about the job. So it
- 36:22Speaker 2: means you have to be aware of opportunities from buying homes,
- 36:27Speaker 2: buying cars. This is such a grand approach for muting.
- 36:33Speaker 2: Some people just looking at us. A verbal term really
- 36:37Speaker 2: is about life. And I really want to thank you
- 36:40Speaker 2: for allowing me to bring that to the show because
- 36:45Speaker 2: of the fact that it's so many things. We fail
- 36:49Speaker 2: in Doctor Wall because we don't know, and they become
- 36:52Speaker 2: a victim, a victim because we don't understand what's happening.
- 36:57Speaker 2: And like you said, if you don't understand, take a
- 37:00Speaker 2: deep breath, pause and then ask the question. And that's
- 37:03Speaker 2: what we have to start doing, asking the questions.
- 37:06Speaker 1: Correct.
- 37:06Speaker 3: We do?
- 37:07Speaker 1: We do?
- 37:07Speaker 4: And you know think about you know, we both deep
- 37:10Speaker 4: into leadership, right, we always think about leadership.
- 37:13Speaker 3: I don't know, and that's some of them.
- 37:14Speaker 4: Some of my clients at you know, organizations, when they
- 37:17Speaker 4: bring me in, what is the composition is all right?
- 37:19Speaker 3: So they have a whole group, they promote everybody.
- 37:23Speaker 4: You get promoted from being the doer to being the
- 37:26Speaker 4: person who's to make sure it gets done. But you
- 37:30Speaker 4: have you got, you got all the skill set. Put
- 37:32Speaker 4: your mindsets not there and I'll go I'll use this example.
- 37:35Speaker 3: And you know I was in, Oh my god, I
- 37:38Speaker 3: can I can do police or I.
- 37:40Speaker 4: Can do profession right, administrator got promoted to the next
- 37:44Speaker 4: role and from what I was promoted.
- 37:47Speaker 3: And now I am in charge of my of my peers.
- 37:51Speaker 4: I went from being the person that was talking trash
- 37:53Speaker 4: and the breakroom with them, so now I'm the themness
- 37:57Speaker 4: and everybody else standing and now.
- 37:58Speaker 3: She's coming down here. Tell we got to be at
- 38:00Speaker 3: work on side. You know.
- 38:01Speaker 4: We was all coming here at the same time, punching
- 38:02Speaker 4: this clock right, and it.
- 38:04Speaker 3: Was difficult for me.
- 38:06Speaker 4: I wondered why when I walked into the room, I'm
- 38:09Speaker 4: trying to be like, hey, y'all, everybody was like bye,
- 38:12Speaker 4: and it's some one of them. And as a lieutenant
- 38:15Speaker 4: one time I walked in and I'm like, where's everybody going?
- 38:17Speaker 3: And my sergeant, who.
- 38:18Speaker 4: Had three male sergeants, they were like, uh, one of
- 38:22Speaker 4: which used to be my sergeant. So I was elevated
- 38:24Speaker 4: over him and he said, you're the commander.
- 38:28Speaker 3: Ain't nobody dad you coming to rope people? Getting up
- 38:31Speaker 3: out of here? I was like what? So and so
- 38:35Speaker 3: I had to.
- 38:35Speaker 4: Have a mind I had to realize it's not personal,
- 38:39Speaker 4: you just on another level. And this is the thing
- 38:42Speaker 4: you have to teach people. And so Nail used to
- 38:43Speaker 4: job to create more of us. And so I not
- 38:46Speaker 4: only had to get my mindset right, but I had
- 38:48Speaker 4: to Nail teach the people that were managers under me
- 38:53Speaker 4: how to lead.
- 38:56Speaker 3: It's all it's so many things.
- 38:58Speaker 4: And when you lead, like before you go, you know,
- 39:00Speaker 4: your boss complaining about how your folks are not doing
- 39:03Speaker 4: the work. The question that I always answered, Oh that's wonderful,
- 39:06Speaker 4: so listen. So tell me what steps you took to
- 39:10Speaker 4: prepare them to do that task?
- 39:12Speaker 3: Did they know how to do it? Did you show
- 39:13Speaker 3: them how to do it first? Okay, when you realize
- 39:17Speaker 3: they didn't know how.
- 39:18Speaker 4: To do it, did you give them like a template
- 39:19Speaker 4: or did you show them how to do it? No,
- 39:22Speaker 4: they came to my office to complain that they had
- 39:24Speaker 4: to go.
- 39:25Speaker 3: And so here's the deal.
- 39:26Speaker 4: The one thing I know, before we can complain about
- 39:28Speaker 4: somebody else on the work, there's either a system failure
- 39:31Speaker 4: or leadership failure?
- 39:33Speaker 3: Which one is it?
- 39:34Speaker 1: Right?
- 39:35Speaker 4: Right? And we got to take accountability. And so I
- 39:38Speaker 4: mean lead well, lead well by first being leading yourself well,
- 39:42Speaker 4: being amazing, showing up in every place as the person that.
- 39:47Speaker 3: You want to be leading you.
- 39:50Speaker 2: And now I would take that example, like you said,
- 39:53Speaker 2: you know everybody with that break.
- 39:55Speaker 1: Room was was was was everybody.
- 39:57Speaker 2: Then you got promoted. But I have to put it
- 40:00Speaker 2: back on you. You didn't understand the shift, the dynamics shift,
- 40:06Speaker 2: and everybody muted up around you because most lady in here.
- 40:10Speaker 5: Now and they knew you, knew their personalities, their two
- 40:16Speaker 5: d they're the little secrets, that's the little back talk,
- 40:20Speaker 5: the little the little jabs and all that.
- 40:22Speaker 1: So basically it was some fear in your promotion.
- 40:27Speaker 3: Yes it is. So I'm gonna tell you, I'm I'm
- 40:30Speaker 3: gonna help y'all because there's some of y'all are here
- 40:32Speaker 3: now that has just got elevated to this new position
- 40:35Speaker 3: in your organization.
- 40:37Speaker 4: So when you you and what you gotta understand is
- 40:40Speaker 4: you gotta you have got elevated.
- 40:41Speaker 3: So that means you got to change how you think it.
- 40:43Speaker 4: You're not here and these people right here now they're
- 40:47Speaker 4: not looking at you as if you are you're equal.
- 40:49Speaker 4: They look up at you like you one of them,
- 40:51Speaker 4: and so you model and be okay with it. You've
- 40:54Speaker 4: heard the term that it's kind of lonely at the top, right,
- 40:58Speaker 4: it's because listen, look, you can't go complaining to the
- 41:01Speaker 4: people down there anymore because they're like, you bet a
- 41:03Speaker 4: girl you up there down so find you somebody. And
- 41:07Speaker 4: for me, I was like, oh my gosh, what am
- 41:09Speaker 4: I going to do? I went and found the person.
- 41:11Speaker 4: As my brother in law said to me, he never
- 41:13Speaker 4: worried about getting to the next place because he always
- 41:16Speaker 4: operated at two levels above where he was.
- 41:18Speaker 3: He said, I need you to start doing that. So
- 41:20Speaker 3: I was like, well I do that.
- 41:22Speaker 4: He said, go and start getting mentored by the people
- 41:25Speaker 4: that are two levels above you.
- 41:27Speaker 3: So after this once, I started doing that.
- 41:29Speaker 4: And I mean when I say mentor, y'all for the folks,
- 41:31Speaker 4: and y'all got to y'all at me when you're getting
- 41:34Speaker 4: mentor it, don't go in there. Tell me I want
- 41:35Speaker 4: you to you to be my mentor. They were like,
- 41:39Speaker 4: what does that look like? What kind of times the
- 41:41Speaker 4: busy people ain't got a bunch.
- 41:42Speaker 3: Of time, So be a good mentee.
- 41:44Speaker 4: Say listen, I would love it if you could mentor me,
- 41:49Speaker 4: and and and whether it be.
- 41:51Speaker 3: Can I do this?
- 41:52Speaker 1: Can I take you specifics?
- 41:55Speaker 2: What you're saying broad? And people do that all the time.
- 42:00Speaker 2: People do care. I can talk to you for another
- 42:02Speaker 2: hour speaking. I'm telling you cause people cause people always
- 42:05Speaker 2: approached to me. I need mentorship, really, and I immediately
- 42:09Speaker 2: go whereas money made conversations master class because you cannot
- 42:15Speaker 2: come to me with a generic term like mentor, because
- 42:19Speaker 2: that means that you don't have a game plan. You
- 42:21Speaker 2: just gonna throw some general term off to me. Well,
- 42:24Speaker 2: tell me I need mentorship and graphic design. Then I'll
- 42:28Speaker 2: tell you that's not what I do. I need mentorship
- 42:31Speaker 2: and engineer. That's not what I do. I need mentorship
- 42:34Speaker 2: and leadership. Go to YouTube.
- 42:39Speaker 3: Yeah, I got one for you. I just want I
- 42:41Speaker 3: just already. Do you gonna say hanky and stuff?
- 42:44Speaker 4: How many people said to you, Hey, for Sean, I
- 42:46Speaker 4: like to just pick your brand?
- 42:48Speaker 2: Come on, see gee gee, that's what see that's the
- 42:52Speaker 2: people who called and go what you're doing?
- 42:56Speaker 1: Huh, what I'm doing? That's what you called me for?
- 42:59Speaker 2: So that phones in that same lane, Dr Wall, pick
- 43:03Speaker 2: your brain, my brain.
- 43:06Speaker 1: I'll tell you this is.
- 43:07Speaker 4: Somebody told me, uh, Steff, you've reached a level where
- 43:11Speaker 4: you're gonna have.
- 43:12Speaker 3: To stop saying let people pick your brains. And you said,
- 43:14Speaker 3: no problem.
- 43:14Speaker 4: But you before you pick my brain, go ahead and
- 43:18Speaker 4: pick this level on which invoice I'm gonna reasy because
- 43:21Speaker 4: they were like, y'all, listen, pick a plan because you
- 43:23Speaker 4: know that the pictures. I mean, look, they will pick
- 43:26Speaker 4: your brain right and then pay them other people all
- 43:31Speaker 4: this money for that same for some information. So they said,
- 43:34Speaker 4: you got to learn how to send them invoice and staff.
- 43:36Speaker 2: Why would you tell you, doctor Wall. That's why I
- 43:38Speaker 2: will tell you go to YouTube. But now I got
- 43:41Speaker 2: go to doctor Wall because it's not CoA sit around
- 43:45Speaker 2: with those general conversations. But I want to thank you,
- 43:48Speaker 2: my friend, for forty.
- 43:51Speaker 1: Three minutes we've been talking.
- 43:52Speaker 2: Girl, uh and I looked over to go, oh my god,
- 43:57Speaker 2: we're doing a part two again. Thank you for coming
- 44:00Speaker 2: on my show. I still been talking till I turn
- 44:03Speaker 2: around looking.
- 44:07Speaker 3: Girl. Thank you, thank you, thank.
- 44:09Speaker 2: You doctor Walll for coming on my show. Money Making
- 44:11Speaker 2: Conversations master Class. This has been Money Making Conversations Masterclass.
- 44:15Speaker 2: With me, Rashaun McDonald. Thanks to our guests and our audience.
- 44:19Speaker 2: Visit Moneymaking Conversations dot com to listen or register to
- 44:24Speaker 2: be a guest on my show. Keep leading with your gifts,
- 44:27Speaker 2: keep winning,