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E307: A Religious Sister Answers The Internet's Top Questions w/Sr Maria Goretti | Lila Rose Show · The Lila Rose Show

• 0:00
  Does Jesus in your heart look like Jonathan Rumi or like Jim
• 0:03
  Caviezel? Oh my gosh, what a question.
• 0:04
  You want me to be honest? Very much so, yes.
• 0:06
  Standing in my dorm room as a freshman, I knew that I was
• 0:09
  claimed by God. As soon as that came into my
• 0:11
  heart and in my soul, I thought, Oh no, take it away, Lord,
• 0:14
  please, please. What was the reaction of the
• 0:16
  ex-boyfriend? I'll never forget his reaction
• 0:18
  because he just looked at me and said, Can you believe that?
• 0:23
  Has there ever been a time that you felt you wanted to leave the
• 0:26
  convent? Well, if you're looking at human
• 0:27
  feelings, sure. I've actually in the court.
• 0:29
  I've never doubted my vocation. Never.
• 0:32
  We're all called to marriage in some form.
• 0:34
  We actually are. Do you ever experience romantic
• 0:36
  feelings and how do you handle that?
• 0:39
  That's such a good question. Tell me, why the habit?
• 0:42
  What do Carmelite Sisters do for fun?
• 0:44
  We really do have a lot of fun. Were there specific moments
• 0:47
  where you remember God was really leading?
• 0:49
  You. Oh my goodness, yes.
• 0:51
  Let's see which one the Holy Spirit wants me to share with
• 0:53
  you. Sister Maria Goretti of the
• 0:58
  Sacred Heart, welcome to the. Podcast.
• 1:00
  Thank you. I love that she used my whole
• 1:01
  name. As a religious sister, you give
• 1:04
  up marriage and many other things that everyday people
• 1:07
  have. What was the moment when you
• 1:10
  decided that you would become a religious sister?
• 1:13
  That is a really good question actually there.
• 1:16
  I mean, I would say there probably was a moment, there was
• 1:19
  a moment when I made a surrender, but the actual
• 1:21
  journey towards saying yes to Jesus with my whole heart and to
• 1:24
  give him everything was quite it was that it was a journey and it
• 1:28
  took a lot of time for me to finally surrender and actually
• 1:31
  trust him. But I grew up in South Louisiana
• 1:35
  and yes, I, I ended up going to LSU.
• 1:38
  So Go Tigers went to Louisiana State University, absolutely
• 1:43
  loved my time there. And so I was deeply blessed with
• 1:46
  an amazing group of friends while I was there.
• 1:49
  And a lot of the the surrender and the freedom that I actually
• 1:53
  found finally and being able to say yes to our Lord a couple of
• 1:57
  years into college eventually came from being surrounded by
• 2:00
  such a beautiful, loving community of friends who really
• 2:03
  supported my discernment. But yeah, I had no plans to
• 2:07
  become a sister, so it's not in my plan at all.
• 2:11
  I had a lot of plans. So I majored in a mass Comm PR
• 2:15
  and business, which I absolutely loved with every fiber of my
• 2:18
  being. It was so much fun.
• 2:21
  So I loved, we did APR campaign my last semester of school and
• 2:25
  just it was a blast. So I really loved it.
• 2:28
  But yeah, so really what ended up happening for me with my
• 2:31
  vocation is when I got to LSUI, spent a lot of my time at Christ
• 2:35
  the King Catholic Student Center there, going to daily Mass, I
• 2:39
  started sending hours in Eucharistic adoration.
• 2:42
  And it was really Eucharistic adoration where I started to
• 2:45
  just fall madly in love with Jesus.
• 2:48
  And even more than that, I was falling in love with him.
• 2:52
  But what I was actually experiencing was his spousal
• 2:54
  love for me and his most Sacred Heart.
• 2:56
  So it was like he was jealously claiming me.
• 3:00
  Wow. Yeah.
• 3:01
  And it was it was actually, it was it was very powerful in
• 3:04
  those years of adoration. And just in prayer.
• 3:06
  It was very deep and it was very real and it was so strong.
• 3:11
  And yet obviously there's so, I mean, deep down inside of us,
• 3:14
  right? There's so many parts of us that
• 3:15
  are in conflict with that, right?
• 3:17
  Lacey, you're experiencing this incredible love of God.
• 3:20
  And at the same time, you know, actually I had a deep knowing,
• 3:22
  to be honest with you. I had a deep knowing probably
• 3:25
  from the time when I even I got to LSU that there was something
• 3:28
  in me that felt very jealously claimed by God.
• 3:31
  And I couldn't, like, I couldn't make it go away.
• 3:34
  So. But The funny thing is that I
• 3:36
  shouldn't say funny. I mean, he's patient with me,
• 3:39
  but I didn't want it. Like, that's the thing, you
• 3:42
  know, I can still remember the moment standing in my dorm room
• 3:46
  as a freshman and just having this moment of clarity where I
• 3:49
  knew, I knew that I was claimed by God.
• 3:53
  And as soon as that that came into my heart and in my soul, I
• 3:57
  thought, oh, no, take it away, Lord, please, please.
• 4:01
  I have plans for my life. You can't like, come on, please.
• 4:04
  And so it actually did take me a couple of years of just I going
• 4:08
  to mass, going to adoration and he had to keep working on me big
• 4:12
  time. So actually, I want to say I
• 4:14
  think I was a junior in college by the time I, I actually
• 4:17
  surrender to it. And so I ran from it for the
• 4:20
  first few years of college because I had again, just a
• 4:22
  really different plan for my life.
• 4:24
  I was doing foreign missions in Mexico, which I was falling in
• 4:27
  love with, love serving the poor in Mexico, loved foreign
• 4:31
  mission. So I had all these different
• 4:33
  ideas and dreams and, and actually, when it comes down to
• 4:37
  the depth of it, really what it was, I, my family had gone
• 4:41
  through a very, very hard time growing up.
• 4:44
  And so there were a lot of deep wounds in my heart of distrust
• 4:47
  and mistrust with the Lord, a lot of fear, a lot of just,
• 4:53
  yeah, wounds of rejection, abandonment, all these different
• 4:55
  things. And so, you know, here comes our
• 4:58
  Lord, you know, trying to ask me for my whole heart and my whole
• 5:01
  life, you know, and it's I really had to have a lot of
• 5:06
  honest conversations with Jesus about that and just share all of
• 5:10
  my fears. And then finally I ended up
• 5:13
  dating someone's name was Joseph.
• 5:15
  It was just perfect. That's my husband's name.
• 5:18
  Oh. Really.
• 5:18
  OK, Yeah. So God sent me a Joseph.
• 5:21
  He was, he was so beautiful. He really was.
• 5:24
  He just a beautiful, beautiful man.
• 5:27
  And yeah, like he was a man. They are.
• 5:30
  Yeah. He would have made such a
• 5:33
  wonderful husband and a wonderful father.
• 5:35
  I mean, all of that. And yet it was actually, God
• 5:39
  used that relationship to like to seal the deal for me because
• 5:43
  while I was dating him, I was so anxious.
• 5:44
  I was not myself. Like I couldn't just be at
• 5:47
  peace. And I felt like somehow I was
• 5:50
  like, I was kind of betraying the Lord in a way.
• 5:52
  Like I couldn't give my heart to this man because my heart was
• 5:55
  already claimed, you know? And, and I thought, OK, Lord,
• 6:00
  OK, I, I, you know, so I ended up, I broke up with him.
• 6:04
  And literally right after I broke up with him, there was
• 6:07
  just this freedom and this peace and this joy.
• 6:10
  And I knew like, it was just, that's where the surrender came
• 6:13
  of whatever God wanted for me. And it wasn't long after that
• 6:17
  that it just, it was clear. It's like he know, you know, you
• 6:19
  know, Sister Marie Grady, you know, I wasn't Sister Marie
• 6:21
  Grady at that time, but you know, Oh yeah, getting there.
• 6:26
  But it was so clear what he was calling me to.
• 6:28
  And when I finally surrendered and said yes, that's when I had
• 6:31
  true freedom and peace and joy because up until that point, it
• 6:35
  was all tension inside. Not that I didn't have deep joy
• 6:38
  in him, because I did. I was living a Sacramento life,
• 6:42
  praying all the time, going to daily Mass, all of that.
• 6:45
  But my heart was very divided, very, very divided.
• 6:49
  But when the surrender came and I said yes, that's when the
• 6:51
  peace came. So that's when I could just let
• 6:54
  myself be formed to be a bride, you know, in that way.
• 6:57
  What was the biggest doubt that you had when you were joining?
• 7:02
  That's a that's. A good question I think it was
• 7:06
  the fear, the doubt and the fear like would God be enough?
• 7:11
  You know, could is the is Jesus going to fulfill every single
• 7:14
  one of my heart's deepest desires?
• 7:16
  Because every woman desires, well, most of us right to get
• 7:20
  married, to have a family, right, to have a husband that
• 7:23
  you can actually come home to, right, that she could like a
• 7:25
  physical person there to be with you.
• 7:28
  And I think that was one of the fears that I had just as a human
• 7:30
  being, right? Like a woman, a real woman with
• 7:32
  a heart and just thinking like, Jesus, are you going to be a
• 7:36
  spouse that's able to to be enough?
• 7:38
  Like, are you going to be able to fulfill my heart's desires on
• 7:42
  every level? And that's something that
• 7:45
  actually takes time. Because The thing is, we say yes
• 7:48
  in the beginning, but that's only the very beginning.
• 7:51
  It's like we have to actually start walking the road with him
• 7:54
  and give him a chance to show us his fidelity and his love, you
• 7:58
  know, So it's, it's moving forward in the midst of the fear
• 8:03
  and in the midst of, you know, sometimes the anxieties and the
• 8:06
  doubts and all of those different things.
• 8:09
  But to be honest with you, as I'm saying this right now, those
• 8:12
  things were more surface like it's just a part of being human.
• 8:15
  But if you were to ask me in the core of my soul, did I trust him
• 8:19
  and did I did I know he was going to fulfill his promises, I
• 8:22
  would tell you overwhelmingly, 100%, I've actually in the
• 8:25
  court. I've never doubted my vocation.
• 8:28
  Never, not in the core of my heart.
• 8:29
  Now have I have gone through really hard times.
• 8:32
  Are there temptations where you're like, I'm not doing this
• 8:35
  anymore, see you later, everybody.
• 8:37
  You know, it's like, I mean, we all go through that.
• 8:39
  I mean, married people go through the same thing, right?
• 8:40
  Like we all have, we all have those days in our vocations.
• 8:45
  But yeah, so I would say just the fear and wondering if God
• 8:48
  was going to be enough as a spouse, you know, as a
• 8:51
  bridegroom, because I've always, I've grown up as a hopeless
• 8:53
  romantic. You know, I loved Disney
• 8:55
  princesses and Disney stories from the time when I was little.
• 8:58
  So I really, I did, you know, growing up, dreamed about the
• 9:02
  man I was going to marry and what he was going to be like and
• 9:04
  all of that. And then our Lord came in and
• 9:09
  fulfilled and surpassed every single one of those desires.
• 9:13
  The ultimate Prince, Jesus Christ.
• 9:15
  Oh my goodness. The Prince of Peace and Prince
• 9:17
  of my heart. Yeah, absolutely.
• 9:19
  If you're enjoying this conversation with me and sister,
• 9:21
  please hit that subscribe button.
• 9:23
  Also leave this video a like and a comment.
• 9:26
  We read all the comments and if you're listening on podcast app,
• 9:29
  five stars and a comment goes a long way.
• 9:31
  Thanks so much. I mean, what's it like to be
• 9:33
  married to Jesus? That's quite a question.
• 9:38
  There's so many questions. Yeah.
• 9:39
  I want to talk about the reaction of your family and
• 9:43
  friends, but I just, I mean. I think to be honest with you,
• 9:46
  the first thing that came into my mind this is going to sound.
• 9:50
  I don't really know how this is going to sound, but I'll try my
• 9:51
  best. The Holy Spirit will help me to
• 9:53
  explain it. So when we make our vows as
• 9:57
  religious sisters, we are totally espoused to him.
• 10:01
  We're fully conformed to his paschal mystery, to his Paschal,
• 10:06
  his passion, his death and resurrection.
• 10:09
  And so I would say that in a very intense and real way, we
• 10:12
  live that Paschal mystery with our Lord, with our bridegroom.
• 10:16
  And there's a deep abiding intimacy that does exist there.
• 10:21
  And it's something that doesn't ever leave.
• 10:23
  And regardless of what our feelings tell us because we go
• 10:26
  through times of dryness too, where we don't see him, we don't
• 10:28
  feel him, all of that like everyone else does.
• 10:31
  And yet for me personally, at the core of my being, he, he is
• 10:36
  there. Like his presence is so abiding
• 10:38
  with me all the time. And so to you espouse to Jesus,
• 10:41
  I can tell you it's a tremendous joy.
• 10:43
  There's so much freedom that exists there and there's a very,
• 10:48
  very deep conforming to the mystery of the cross as well.
• 10:53
  And so, and in particular as a Carmelite, because as
• 10:57
  Carmelites, we, we have a great love for, for the cross and for,
• 11:02
  you know, obviously there's self denial and all those things that
• 11:04
  come along in the life of a Carmelite, which should be a
• 11:07
  part of the life of every Christian, right?
• 11:10
  But Carmelites have this jealous, fiery zeal in their
• 11:14
  heart. It's a part of the spirit of
• 11:16
  Carmel actually. So getting back to Saint Elijah
• 11:18
  in the Old Testament, where he says, with zeal, have I been
• 11:21
  zealous for the Lord God of hosts?
• 11:23
  And that's actually that banner is a part of the Carmelite
• 11:27
  shield, the traditional Carmelite shield.
• 11:29
  And so Elijah is proclaiming these words after he has these
• 11:33
  intimate face to face, heart to heart encounters with the living
• 11:38
  God on Mount Carmel. And so that's what we're called
• 11:41
  to as Carmelites as well. And so there is there's a
• 11:45
  quietness, there's a simplicity about that life sometimes.
• 11:49
  And then other times there's a great intensity and a real a
• 11:55
  real element of being united with our bridegroom on the cross
• 11:59
  and sacrificial love in our spiritual motherhood.
• 12:02
  But I have to tell you like that for me has been one of the most
• 12:06
  phenomenal experiences of my vocation is being united with
• 12:09
  Jesus on the cross. But experiencing just this
• 12:13
  penetrating intimacy with him of being fully held and seen, known
• 12:17
  and loved in that. And actually being united with
• 12:19
  him in in his passion, death and resurrection in order to bring
• 12:22
  life to the world. So and that happens in concrete
• 12:27
  circumstances of daily life. So it happens in the joys and in
• 12:32
  the struggles of community life, like living together as sisters.
• 12:35
  It happens in the joys and the struggles of daily prayer, the
• 12:39
  joys and the struggles of the apostolate.
• 12:40
  I think I shared with you, I'm serving as a vocation directors
• 12:42
  right now for our community, which I love with every fiber of
• 12:46
  my being. And it's a very real and direct
• 12:48
  experience of spiritual motherhood, you know, walking
• 12:51
  with these women, helping them to discover the heart of Jesus
• 12:53
  for them and helping them to surrender.
• 12:55
  Not that they can say yes to whatever his call is, whatever
• 12:59
  direction that leads them. So, yeah, so it is.
• 13:03
  It's a profound joy. It's the greatest joy of my life
• 13:06
  to be a Carmelite spouse. I wouldn't trade this for
• 13:09
  anything. Thank God he kept coming after
• 13:11
  me in college. I'm so grateful.
• 13:16
  And it's a, it's a powerful experience of the whole Paschal
• 13:18
  mystery. It's all I can tell you of the
• 13:20
  cross and also the resurrection, so.
• 13:23
  Yeah, I'm going to ask you to break that down more.
• 13:25
  Sure. That's right, yeah.
• 13:27
  Before that, though, I want to go back to your vows.
• 13:31
  We haven't even gotten to your vows yet.
• 13:34
  First, how did your family and friends react to your decision
• 13:37
  to become a religious sister? Oh, yes, there were a range of
• 13:43
  reactions, I think, you know, So before we came on and started
• 13:48
  this interview, I was joking with some of you about how I
• 13:50
  used to really be into fashion and hair and shoes and makeup
• 13:55
  and all of that. And so, yeah, they all used to
• 13:58
  tease me about, yeah, I really, I wouldn't leave my apartment
• 14:02
  unless I look like I had, you know, just stepped off the
• 14:04
  runway. There's just part of the way
• 14:05
  that God had made me just loved all of that.
• 14:08
  And so I think for for the people who kind of just saw a
• 14:11
  little bit more of the externals, they were very
• 14:13
  surprised because it was kind of like you like you're going to
• 14:17
  become a nun. Like, you know, like, kind of
• 14:19
  like, are you serious? Like, yeah, I'm.
• 14:21
  I'm pretty serious, you know, So what there was, so there were
• 14:26
  those reactions for people who didn't know me quite as well and
• 14:28
  just again, saw the external aspects.
• 14:30
  But for my friends who knew me very well, they actually were
• 14:33
  not surprised at all because my close friends had actually been
• 14:36
  journeying with me through the whole process of discernment.
• 14:39
  And so they had seen really up close, upfront and personal, all
• 14:45
  of the graces that I had received through the whole
• 14:47
  journey, the whole way through. And they saw the transformation
• 14:50
  that was taking place in me and they were supporting me in my
• 14:53
  discernment. So which was awesome to have a
• 14:55
  group of friends like that. Amazing.
• 14:57
  Oh, they were incredible. Oh, my goodness.
• 15:00
  And it's neat now to actually see all the beautiful holy
• 15:03
  vocations that have come out of that group.
• 15:05
  So we have priests who have come out of there.
• 15:08
  We have, I have a several friends who are now married with
• 15:12
  several children, beautiful holy marriages.
• 15:15
  I have my best friend from college, Emily, she's a
• 15:17
  consecrated virgin for the Diocese of Lafayette.
• 15:21
  So, yeah, beautiful. A few religious sisters.
• 15:23
  But through that, through all of that, we, yeah, we were, we were
• 15:27
  very close knit group of friends.
• 15:30
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• 17:06
  What was the reaction of the ex-boyfriend?
• 17:09
  Oh, actually, OK, Joseph. Yeah.
• 17:11
  So he was amazing. He was actually amazing.
• 17:14
  So I saw him in Mass. It might have been maybe just a
• 17:19
  few weeks after. I can't remember exactly how
• 17:21
  long after not not a long time after we broke up.
• 17:24
  And I ended up telling him what I was planning to do.
• 17:27
  And I'll never forget his reaction because he just looked
• 17:30
  at me and he smiled and he said that is absolutely perfect for
• 17:35
  you. Can you believe that?
• 17:38
  Isn't that so beautiful? He's he just was.
• 17:41
  So it was just beautiful. His heart, I could tell he was
• 17:44
  genuinely supportive and he actually saw the vocation, which
• 17:47
  was awesome. How long had you been dating?
• 17:49
  Oh, not very long. I mean like we dated for like 3
• 17:51
  months I think. It wasn't long at all.
• 17:53
  Yeah, but he was very a man of faith.
• 17:55
  And so he was. Oh yes, definitely.
• 17:56
  He wanted God's will. He wanted God's will.
• 17:59
  Yes, he wanted God's will and so, yeah.
• 18:01
  So when I actually told him afterwards, he just was fully
• 18:04
  supportive. Just.
• 18:06
  Not going to compete with Jesus. No, not at all.
• 18:09
  I might be not. Joseph, but I'm not.
• 18:11
  Going to not at all. So, but yeah, so then my family,
• 18:16
  there were definitely a range of responses within my family.
• 18:19
  So one of the things that we haven't gotten to yet in my
• 18:21
  story is I so when I was 13 years old, my brother actually
• 18:25
  died very suddenly and he. Thank you.
• 18:29
  So he was almost 16 years old, so five days before his 16th
• 18:32
  birthday. So Blake, he had a heart
• 18:35
  condition and he actually died on the Solemnity of the Most
• 18:38
  Sacred Heart of Jesus, which was amazing.
• 18:42
  So I like to say that Blake had a pierced heart like our Lord
• 18:44
  Jesus too. So our Lord took him home on
• 18:47
  that day, like I said, very suddenly, just at home one
• 18:50
  night. He just he in his sleep.
• 18:52
  No, he was actually with his best friend in his room.
• 18:54
  So very, I mean, it was traumatic beyond what I can.
• 18:58
  I mean obviously really, really hard and painful.
• 19:02
  And no one had any idea this was coming, that he had the heart
• 19:05
  condition. Oh, we knew he had a heart
• 19:06
  condition. We knew he did.
• 19:07
  But he was like, if you would have looked at him, you never
• 19:11
  would have known anything that was wrong with him.
• 19:13
  So he had had two open heart surgeries already by that point
• 19:15
  to replace a valve. But he would have his surgery
• 19:18
  and he would bounce back, look perfectly healthy, handsome,
• 19:21
  popular, all of that. So I think we knew that probably
• 19:24
  later on down the road, he would have more heart issues and
• 19:27
  things like that when he got maybe into his 40s or, you know,
• 19:31
  but no, I mean, no one expected him to just go that quickly and
• 19:36
  that young, not by a long shot. And so because of that, so I
• 19:40
  mentioned she'd have an older sister.
• 19:42
  And then there was Blake, who's the middle child and then me.
• 19:45
  And so for my parents to lose my brother so suddenly like that,
• 19:48
  and you can imagine like the trauma and the tragedy of that
• 19:51
  loss for my parents, for my whole family.
• 19:54
  So my sister got married, you know, I moved out, started
• 19:59
  having her own family. And so I'm the last one at home.
• 20:03
  And I was with my mom through some pretty tumultuous years
• 20:05
  with my family, with my mom and my dad.
• 20:08
  My dad is incredible now, but he, he relapsed into alcoholism
• 20:12
  those years after my brother died.
• 20:13
  And so we really lived in. It was, yeah, it was kind of
• 20:17
  like a nightmare, to be honest with you.
• 20:19
  My dad was in and out. Mom was trying to hold my family
• 20:24
  together. And so, yeah, those are really
• 20:27
  difficult years for my family. And yet our Lord's Sacred Heart
• 20:30
  and his mercy were so present to us through that whole time.
• 20:35
  And now my dad is fully recovered and he has been for a
• 20:38
  number of years. And he and my mom walked me down
• 20:41
  the aisle for my vows. And praise God, they for your
• 20:44
  daily rosary together now every day at home.
• 20:47
  And yeah. So actually, my family's story
• 20:50
  is pretty phenomenal. I've always said if I could
• 20:51
  write a book on it, I mean, I I would, I'm not going to, but
• 20:55
  it's written in God's book, right in the novel equipment.
• 20:59
  Well, we'll see, but there's so many miracles that happened.
• 21:03
  And so, but because of that with my mom and my dad, you know,
• 21:07
  both losing my brother, they're amazing Catholic people, you
• 21:12
  know, and very much my mom raised us deeply in the Catholic
• 21:15
  faith. She was a religion teacher for
• 21:16
  years. She still teaches catechism, you
• 21:18
  know, the church. And but it was just so hard for
• 21:22
  them whenever I told them that I was discerning, even though my
• 21:24
  mom, I think really knew, I think both of them actually had
• 21:27
  a sense that I was thinking about it because I saw how
• 21:29
  involved I was in the Catholic faith and all the foreign
• 21:31
  missions I was doing. And I wasn't dating anybody, you
• 21:34
  know, And then so it's just, I think they're kind of putting
• 21:37
  two and two together. But when I told them, there
• 21:40
  definitely was a lot of tears, a lot of tears.
• 21:44
  And I think the one thing that my mom, I remember her just
• 21:47
  being so afraid of just not the cloister, you know, just not the
• 21:50
  cloister just so because in a very real way, it did feel for
• 21:53
  them like they were losing another child.
• 21:56
  And so it wasn't that they weren't supportive, you know,
• 21:59
  that they didn't trust our Lord, but just it actually was a step
• 22:04
  in their journey that our Lord was leading them to greater
• 22:07
  trust in his Sacred Heart. And interestingly enough, so my
• 22:10
  brother dying on that, that particular day, I knew through
• 22:15
  my all my journeys. So Fast forward to when I was
• 22:17
  discerning, the one thing that I was sure of when our Lord made
• 22:20
  it clear that he was calling me was that I was called to a
• 22:22
  religious community that had to be totally devoted, totally
• 22:27
  given to his Sacred Heart because that's how he was
• 22:29
  drawing me in. The Blessed Sacrament adoration
• 22:31
  was through the spousal love of his Sacred Heart, living and
• 22:34
  beating there, you know, in particular.
• 22:37
  And so, yeah, so I knew that for sure.
• 22:40
  And so here I am, a Carmelite sister of the most Sacred Heart
• 22:42
  of Los Angeles. But anyway, so it was hard for
• 22:46
  my parents in the beginning and then I think once they started
• 22:49
  to actually come and experience the love of our sisters and just
• 22:53
  the embrace into the new family, that's where things really
• 22:57
  started to change for them. And now every time I talk to
• 23:00
  them, you know, they always say say hi to my Carmelite family,
• 23:03
  say hi to all our Carmelite daughters, you know, so they
• 23:06
  really have in a very real way adopted our whole religious
• 23:09
  community as their daughters, which is so beautiful to see and
• 23:12
  to experience. So, but it takes serious
• 23:14
  sometimes, it takes time. My sister was always very
• 23:17
  supportive, my extended family very close to many of them.
• 23:22
  I think that they very much supported me, but had a hard
• 23:25
  time letting go, you know, because sometimes, you know,
• 23:28
  your family knows you well. So they see natural gifts, you
• 23:30
  know, in a natural level. And you know, they, they've been
• 23:33
  dreaming with you about all the things that you could do in the
• 23:35
  world, like all the places you could go, all the different
• 23:38
  things that could be. And so, so I think it was hard
• 23:42
  for some of them to let go of that.
• 23:46
  But at the end of the day they all I just, I felt so very loved
• 23:50
  and supported by them even if they didn't fully understand so.
• 23:55
  Can you walk us through the stages of or the steps leading
• 23:59
  up to your perpetual vows? Absolutely.
• 24:01
  And explain what even a perpetual vow is and what those
• 24:04
  stages look like. Definitely, definitely.
• 24:07
  OK, so I think First off, just to say like, what is a religious
• 24:11
  sister? What does it mean to even be
• 24:13
  called to be a religious sister? I've been alluding to it as I've
• 24:16
  been talking to you, but it really is a call to be a totally
• 24:19
  espouse to Christ. So we're all called to marriage
• 24:22
  in some form. We actually are like love.
• 24:25
  Love is called to produce itself in the form of some sort of a
• 24:28
  commitment or a vow. Like there's something deeply
• 24:31
  within us as human beings that that wants to make a total gift
• 24:35
  of self, right, whether that be to God or to another person on
• 24:39
  earth, like to God through that that marriage.
• 24:44
  So with that being said, those of us who are called to
• 24:46
  religious life, we are called to live a spousal marriage, family
• 24:52
  life, but just in a different way.
• 24:53
  So we're called to be brides of Christ and we're called to be
• 24:56
  spiritual mothers to the whole world.
• 24:58
  So, so that's that's what we're talking about when we talk about
• 25:01
  being a sister, the vows that we professor, poverty, chastity and
• 25:06
  obedience. Those are what we call the
• 25:07
  evangelical councils, and we call them that because our life
• 25:11
  is meant to be an imitation of the life of Jesus Christ, the
• 25:14
  kind of life that he lived when he was on this earth where you
• 25:18
  know, he nothing, He owned nothing for his own.
• 25:21
  He was in perfect obedience to the Father and he lived in
• 25:25
  chastity. So his heart and his love were
• 25:27
  for his Father and for Holy Mother Church, right, His bride.
• 25:31
  And so we seek to imitate him through professing those vows.
• 25:34
  So the first stage for us in our community, this isn't the case
• 25:40
  for every community. This one can depend community to
• 25:43
  community. So this is for Carmelite?
• 25:44
  This is for the Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart
• 25:46
  of Los Angeles specifically. So our first stage is called
• 25:49
  candidacy. And this is a beautiful time,
• 25:53
  which I praise God that we have this time, as I think back to my
• 25:56
  experience as a candidate and think about what it is now.
• 25:59
  So it is a time of serious discernment with our community
• 26:02
  before you actually enter the convent.
• 26:05
  So the women move to Southern California and they have a place
• 26:09
  where they live, and it's called Heart of Mary, and it's actually
• 26:12
  an extension of the convent where the sisters don't live
• 26:14
  anymore. It's its own separate section,
• 26:16
  but it's set up just like one of our convents would be,
• 26:19
  similarly. So they have their cells, their
• 26:21
  little rooms, their rooms look just like a Carmelite room
• 26:24
  would, but they're still wearing normal clothes.
• 26:26
  They still have their cell phones.
• 26:28
  They can still keep in contact with their family.
• 26:30
  They can bring their car if they have it.
• 26:32
  And they're receiving beautiful classes of formation.
• 26:35
  So human formation, spiritual, social formation, learning
• 26:38
  Carmelites a little bit more about Carmelite spirituality and
• 26:41
  starting to understand a little bit of religious life.
• 26:44
  Like what does it mean? This vocation?
• 26:45
  I'm actually discerning. So they have those classes, they
• 26:48
  have a candidate directress, and they actually serve with our
• 26:51
  sisters in our apostolates, which is wonderful.
• 26:53
  So what's an apostolate? An apostolate, yes.
• 26:57
  So I guess it would be most easily translated as ministry.
• 27:01
  So our ministries that we have as Carmelite sisters in the
• 27:04
  church. So through our mother,
• 27:06
  foundress, mother Lucita, that's a she's a whole nother
• 27:09
  conversation. Amazing.
• 27:10
  She is phenomenal. She's absolutely phenomenal.
• 27:13
  She's venerable now, so keep praying that she's going to be
• 27:15
  beatified soon. On her way to be.
• 27:17
  On her way to being canonized to Saint.
• 27:20
  Yeah, incredible story. So, yes, so we so in candidacy
• 27:28
  they actually learn about Malusita, a lot about her.
• 27:31
  They have those classes. They serve with us.
• 27:33
  Yes, in our ministries, that's what it's our apostolates in our
• 27:35
  community, we do retreats, healthcare and education.
• 27:37
  So those are our three main apostolates, our three main
• 27:39
  ministries in the church. So the women can serve with us
• 27:42
  in any one of those when they're discerning.
• 27:45
  So candidacy is one to two years.
• 27:47
  And if at the end of that time there is that that call and that
• 27:51
  assuming you know, of our Lord opening the door for the young
• 27:54
  woman to actually enter the convent and take the next step,
• 27:57
  then she asks to be able to enter the convent as a
• 28:00
  postulant. And, and so then postulancy
• 28:04
  would be the next step. Oh, and I want to back up.
• 28:06
  So candidacy is actually really beautiful because it's a time of
• 28:08
  transition for the young woman who's been living in the world.
• 28:12
  It's kind of like an on ramp onto the freeway is what I like
• 28:15
  to call it. Because actually now to go
• 28:18
  straight from just living, just living in the world to into the
• 28:22
  convent would be a pretty significant culture shock is
• 28:27
  that our life is beautiful and our life is so good and it's
• 28:30
  it's different. It's very different.
• 28:32
  It's meant to be, you know, it's supposed to be different.
• 28:35
  So candidacy is a beautiful time of transition, learning some
• 28:39
  little things about our life. And it's also a time of
• 28:41
  transition for our families. So it's it's a time for our
• 28:43
  families to learn more about the vocation, a time for the
• 28:47
  families to learn more about the community anyway.
• 28:51
  So there's a lot, there's a lot that happens in that time of
• 28:53
  candidacy. So then postulancy is about 10
• 28:55
  months as when you actually enter the convent, so.
• 28:59
  At When you're a postulant, do you wear your habit?
• 29:03
  Not a habit. Yet not a habit.
• 29:04
  What do you wear? So as a postulant, once you
• 29:07
  enter, it's big day. You receive in our community,
• 29:12
  it's a simple blue and white uniform, blue skirt, blue vests,
• 29:15
  white blouse. With the postulants wear, they
• 29:17
  don't have a veil yet and they're so-called by their
• 29:19
  baptismal name. So that's for about 10 months.
• 29:22
  And when you enter postulancy, you know, I feel like a lot of
• 29:26
  it, we joke about this in the Comet.
• 29:27
  You know, when you enter for a little while, you kind of feel a
• 29:30
  little bit like a deer in headlights, you know, because
• 29:32
  it's just such a, a different way of life and it's totally new
• 29:36
  in so many different ways. And you would kind of joke that
• 29:39
  sometimes you feel like you like forget how to tie your shoes
• 29:42
  because you're like, Oh my gosh, where am I?
• 29:44
  What am I doing with my life? So Ponchulancy, it's a beautiful
• 29:49
  time that was you're learning, you're learning about the life,
• 29:52
  just real simple, You know, what's the Aurarium, which is
• 29:55
  our schedule. So learning to live the
• 29:56
  Aurarium, you're taking simple classes, catechism classes, more
• 30:01
  human formation classes, spirituality classes, those
• 30:04
  kinds of things. And so you're it's a gradual,
• 30:07
  it's meant to be a gradual transition into, into religious
• 30:11
  life is what it is. What is the schedule?
• 30:13
  Can you share that with us? The brief schedule of what your
• 30:16
  day typically looks like. Yes.
• 30:18
  So the basic outline is we rise at 5:00 in the morning, and then
• 30:22
  we're in the Chapel 1/2 hour later at 5:30.
• 30:25
  And we start right away with just a silent meditation to just
• 30:29
  be with the Lord. So 1/2 hour silent meditation,
• 30:32
  and then we chant lots together and community, and then straight
• 30:35
  from lots right into the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
• 30:39
  And so that's the beginning of our day, you know, pretty much
• 30:41
  every day, which is so beautiful to have all that time just for
• 30:44
  the Lord. And we're in grand silence all
• 30:46
  during that time. And then when we come out of
• 30:49
  Mass, we have a community greeting in the morning, and
• 30:52
  that's when we come out of our grand silence.
• 30:54
  And breakfast is usually maybe around like 73727. 30 A
• 31:00
  community greeting is that when you're all like, good morning?
• 31:03
  Oh, that's a great question. It's like community greeting
• 31:05
  these the terminology we use I don't even think about, but a
• 31:09
  community greeting is. So we say praise to be Jesus
• 31:11
  Christ and that's when we're coming out.
• 31:13
  So that's when all together opening.
• 31:15
  Yeah. So, so the superior, the
• 31:16
  superior would say, praise be Jesus Christ Christ, and we all
• 31:18
  say now and forever. And that's the morning greeting.
• 31:21
  And that takes us out of that, that sacred time of grand
• 31:24
  silence. Got it.
• 31:25
  And then you can talk to each. Other and then we can talk to
• 31:27
  each other in the morning, we have breakfast.
• 31:29
  But our life is a life of silence.
• 31:30
  So it's Carmelites we do spend we spend our day in silence and
• 31:34
  that silence is going to look different depending on what your
• 31:36
  pastel it is what your your ministry is.
• 31:38
  So if you're a teacher in the classroom, right, there is a
• 31:42
  still an interior silence as Carmelites that we're called to.
• 31:46
  To be. Yeah.
• 31:47
  So it's actually, it's the life, it's the charism of our founders
• 31:50
  is what it is. But we're called to be
• 31:51
  contemplative as an action, which means that no matter where
• 31:54
  we are or what we're doing or who we're talking to, that there
• 31:58
  is this ongoing ESMO. Luisita says there's a silent
• 32:02
  dialogue between our Lord and each soul that no one can hear,
• 32:06
  that no one else knows about. So there's meant to be this
• 32:08
  silent intimacy that remains no matter where we are and what
• 32:11
  we're doing. And that's a, that's a grace,
• 32:13
  right? Like that's a grace of
• 32:14
  contemplative prayer that our Lord wants to give to all of us,
• 32:17
  not just to our community, but to all of us every, all human
• 32:20
  beings, to every baptise. This internal silent dialogue
• 32:24
  with the Lord while they're busy about their day is what I'm
• 32:27
  saying. That's the goal.
• 32:29
  He wants to be in total reunion with all of us, every single one
• 32:32
  of us. So especially starting while
• 32:35
  we're here on Earth. But yeah, so we so we do spend
• 32:38
  most of our days in silence. Meaning you're just not chit
• 32:41
  chatting with each other all day.
• 32:43
  Correct. Correct, you do have chit chats.
• 32:46
  We do we have to talk to each other for the apostle, Yeah.
• 32:48
  So it's not. Have ever have heart to hearts?
• 32:51
  Oh yes, absolutely. We have heart to hearts.
• 32:54
  We definitely do. I have the best sisters ever.
• 32:58
  I do. My sisters, in every sense of
• 33:02
  the word are my sisters. They are my sisters and they are
• 33:04
  my closest friends. They're amazing.
• 33:06
  So yes, we definitely have hearts to hearts and we have, we
• 33:09
  have very real relationships with each other and community.
• 33:14
  That's one of the things that I appreciate so much is the
• 33:15
  authenticity of our religious family.
• 33:17
  It's just such a gift. But is there like set time?
• 33:20
  So after breakfast, then you have the rest of your
• 33:22
  activities. Is there like, OK, this is the
• 33:23
  set time where you could have like effectively a coffee date
• 33:25
  with another sister? Or oh, I see what you mean.
• 33:28
  Like how time and space for those heart to.
• 33:31
  Heart. Yeah.
• 33:31
  I mean, honestly, you kind of just.
• 33:34
  You're not upset until midnight watching like Netflix together,
• 33:38
  obviously. No, not a part of our life yes.
• 33:42
  I mean, honestly, it's it's a very natural thing in our life.
• 33:46
  So it's basically, you know, when you and that sister by the.
• 33:49
  Way we don't like Netflix on the show I should have.
• 33:50
  Said Amazon Prime, whatever. But yeah, so I mean, that's one
• 33:55
  of those things that, you know, if we we have God's blessing,
• 33:57
  especially if it's another sister like that lives in
• 33:58
  another convent or something like that, we want to schedule a
• 34:00
  time with her. We have God's blessing to have
• 34:02
  that conversation. And you just set up a time with
• 34:05
  that sister, you know, to be able to do that if it's somebody
• 34:07
  that you live with. I think it's it's to me a very
• 34:11
  understood that we have the sisters have God's blessing to
• 34:15
  reach out to the sisters to if there's something that we want
• 34:17
  to talk through, whatever. Do you have your wheels in
• 34:19
  silence? We do actually usually except
• 34:21
  for lunch, so lunch we have in recreation, which is beautiful.
• 34:24
  So we're able to come together and just share about our day,
• 34:27
  share about our morning, see how everybody's doing.
• 34:29
  Just enjoy each other as sisters and community.
• 34:32
  But in breakfast and dinner we have spiritual listening.
• 34:34
  So we have silence and spiritual listening usually unless it's a
• 34:37
  feast day or solemnity or another special day for us in
• 34:40
  community, then our meals will be in recreation.
• 34:44
  So we have breakfast together. And then afterwards there's
• 34:47
  usually a little bit of time you can take care of, you know,
• 34:49
  different things, sisters might exercise or whatever, you know
• 34:52
  how a little personal time, take care of house studies.
• 34:55
  And then we go into the apostolate, our ministry,
• 34:57
  wherever it is that we're assigned.
• 34:59
  And then we come back together midday.
• 35:01
  So for some it's right before lunch, some right after lunch,
• 35:04
  but we pray a midday examine together.
• 35:06
  And that's a such a beautiful practice of our community.
• 35:09
  We do that twice, 15 minute examine midday, and that's
• 35:14
  actually just to look back on the first half of the day and
• 35:16
  ask the Lord, where were you, Lord, how did I experience your
• 35:20
  love and your presence? Where were your graces and your
• 35:23
  gifts and your blessings? How are you trying to speak to
• 35:25
  me? Did I recognize you, you know,
• 35:27
  and, and asking for his forgiveness for those times
• 35:30
  where we didn't respond well or the times where we didn't see
• 35:33
  him and then asking for his healing and his mercy for that.
• 35:37
  And then the grace to move forward and looking forward to
• 35:39
  the second-half of the day with him and asking for the grace for
• 35:42
  that. So it's a beautiful prayer.
• 35:44
  We love the examined prayer. So it's not focused on just my
• 35:47
  sins, like what did I do wrong? But it's actually, it's in a
• 35:50
  beautiful way focused on his presence.
• 35:52
  And did we recognize him? Were we living in the presence
• 35:55
  of God? So.
• 35:56
  It's a It's a relationship check in.
• 35:58
  That's exactly I call it examination of relationship.
• 36:01
  That's so beautiful. Yeah.
• 36:03
  Yeah, it is so. Beautiful, that makes me want to
• 36:05
  cry. So we do that midday and then we
• 36:10
  go into lunch and we enjoy each other.
• 36:12
  By the way, can you be like when you're doing your relationship
• 36:14
  check in or your examination of relationship and you're doing
• 36:17
  this twice a day midday and then at the end of the day, do you
• 36:20
  like have a coffee while you're doing this or is it like in?
• 36:22
  The Chapel where we're in the Chapel in the Chapel, yes, so,
• 36:27
  and actually I'm glad you brought that up.
• 36:28
  So a beautiful part of our life. So that that's simple the
• 36:31
  penitential aspect of our life. And I just want to reiterate
• 36:35
  here that it's a gift. So when we say yes to this life,
• 36:37
  we freely renounce good things. So this beautiful little coffee
• 36:42
  that I have sitting next to me right now.
• 36:45
  So usually for us, this caramelized throughout our day,
• 36:48
  we, we don't go and just get a cup of coffee, you know, we
• 36:52
  don't go and just like get snacks whenever we want those
• 36:54
  kinds of things. It is a beautiful penitential
• 36:56
  aspect to our life in that way where really our meals are a
• 37:01
  time of sake, like it's a sacred preparation for Eucharist.
• 37:04
  It's a sacred meal for the sacred preparation of going to
• 37:07
  the table together as sisters, you know, and so we come
• 37:10
  together, you know, for our meals.
• 37:11
  And it's not that sisters, like if we have special needs that we
• 37:14
  can't ask for things that we can't eat in between meals and
• 37:17
  receive that blessing from God, we definitely can in our life.
• 37:19
  That's what I'm so grateful for our community.
• 37:22
  If there's not a rigidity about it, it's it's human and divine
• 37:25
  at the same time. So, but as sisters on normal
• 37:29
  days, yes, we, we really, we have such a simple life, but
• 37:33
  it's so beautiful in that way, the simplicity of our life so
• 37:36
  that when the special things come on solemnities or feast
• 37:39
  days, the special coffee, we enjoy it all the more.
• 37:43
  So, so it sounds like you're saying the mealtimes, which are
• 37:46
  sacred, use the word they're sacred and all of life is
• 37:48
  sacred. But in these meal times, you're
• 37:50
  eating to prepare yourself to be able to receive Holy Communion,
• 37:54
  which is this act of most, you know, immense intimacy with your
• 37:58
  spouse, Jesus Christ. Absolutely.
• 38:00
  So the food is the purpose of the food is yes, to be enjoyed
• 38:03
  as a gift, but to prepare you to sustain you to be able to have
• 38:07
  this intimacy next of receiving Holy Communion, which we believe
• 38:10
  is Jesus and His body, blood, soul and divinity.
• 38:12
  Yeah, the true banquet, right? Wow.
• 38:14
  Yes, yeah. What a.
• 38:15
  Beautiful way to think about eating.
• 38:17
  Yes, and it doesn't. It change the whole perspective
• 38:20
  though, because like the sacred nourishment of our of our body
• 38:23
  and our dignity as human beings too, that preparation for being
• 38:27
  nourished by the Lord Himself. So yeah.
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  Figuring out the right daily nutrition can feel overwhelming,
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  code Lila at checkout. And then you mentioned the
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  apostle or the ministry work, and that can be healthcare,
• 40:25
  education, or retreat. Retreat.
• 40:27
  So helping other people make a silent retreat or make a retreat
• 40:30
  at your mother house, right? Yes, which I have.
• 40:33
  I don't think I've gotten to do it yet, but I know many friends
• 40:36
  who've been to retreat. I love to come.
• 40:38
  I know I would love to come. It would be an honor.
• 40:42
  But and so in this work, though, it sounds like you're not
• 40:46
  working like clock in at 8:00 AM, clocking out at 5:00 PM,
• 40:50
  like the the day is punctuated with a schedule that is designed
• 40:53
  for intimacy with Jesus. Not that you can't have intimacy
• 40:56
  with Jesus if you're working an 8 or 9 hour day.
• 40:59
  And I'm not saying your other tasks aren't a kind of work, but
• 41:03
  the actual apostolate you're doing in each day is typically
• 41:06
  how many hours. That's a great question.
• 41:08
  So if we go into the apostolate, let's say 88 AM, 8, so 8:00 AM
• 41:14
  to 8:30, somewhere around there to around 11:45.
• 41:18
  And then we go back in the afternoon, depending maybe
• 41:21
  around 1:00. And then we have holy hour at
• 41:24
  445 S Yeah, I can kind of do the math there from morning and
• 41:28
  afternoon. So however many hours that is, I
• 41:32
  don't know really. You don't calculate it, but.
• 41:34
  What I just love about that is it's so designed for you and
• 41:38
  also the people you're serving. But I think sometimes we think
• 41:41
  about or maybe there's fears about religious life.
• 41:43
  Like it's just like super toil. No, all you do is like pray and
• 41:47
  it's like uncomfortable prayer and then like you're just
• 41:49
  toiling. But it's what I love.
• 41:52
  I, I think about Mother Teresa and what she did for the
• 41:54
  Missionaries of Charity Charity. She had this schedule where they
• 41:58
  like prayer and tea time was part of the day, like built in.
• 42:01
  So that because they were working, you know, toiling with
• 42:04
  the, you know, on the streets of Calcutta and like doing very
• 42:07
  heavy lifting work. And then they, I think they took
• 42:09
  six weeks off in the summertime not to just like lay on the
• 42:12
  beach. That's what I'm doing.
• 42:14
  But but six weeks off from like the intensity of that, of that
• 42:17
  work to restore themselves, to do their own retreat, etcetera.
• 42:21
  And I just, I think there's something so human about it
• 42:24
  because I think about the average modern person today and
• 42:27
  how work is for them and how it's just sort of we frittered
• 42:31
  away times for even meals, times for family and then time for
• 42:37
  prayer. And it's just work, like the
• 42:40
  American life. A lot of us just work.
• 42:42
  And I, I think we have a lot to learn from you and how you've
• 42:46
  set up the life. You know, and that's the gift of
• 42:48
  our Aurarium, and I'm calling it that because you know, Aurarium
• 42:51
  like hours, the hours of the day, our schedule really is
• 42:54
  meant to be sanctified, like it just imbued with the spirit of
• 42:57
  our Lord. And we're just so blessed that
• 42:59
  it is balanced. We're grateful to have a very
• 43:01
  balanced schedule. And all those things that you're
• 43:04
  mentioning for the Missionaries of Charity, we have those things
• 43:06
  built into our life as well. So we actually take one day a
• 43:08
  month. It's a special community day and
• 43:11
  we're in general recreation all day, which means that we can
• 43:13
  talk all day. We can listen to music, we can
• 43:16
  chat, we can have those conversations you and I were
• 43:18
  talking about. Come on my podcast.
• 43:20
  Come on your. Podcast.
• 43:21
  I don't know. This is ministry.
• 43:23
  But that's OK. Sisters here we'll do a round
• 43:29
  table. That's work.
• 43:30
  It would be work for you, but that you're always welcome.
• 43:33
  That would actually be a blast. I think we don't have fun doing
• 43:35
  that together. But yeah, so we have those days.
• 43:37
  And actually on those days, we will go to the beach, we'll go
• 43:39
  hiking in the mountains, We'll do something beautiful like
• 43:42
  that. To the beach with your whole
• 43:43
  habit on. Yes, we do everything in the
• 43:46
  habit. The suntan on the hands of the.
• 43:48
  Yeah, exactly. But you.
• 43:50
  Don't go into the water. No, I mean, this is serious.
• 43:53
  If they want to put their feet in the water, they can.
• 43:55
  They can't lift their habit up a little bit and put their feet,
• 43:57
  but yeah. So yeah.
• 43:58
  But we go on the beach in our whole habit and enjoy it
• 44:01
  tremendously. Tell me why the habit?
• 44:04
  Oh, that's such a good question. So Holy Mother Church, she's
• 44:08
  such a good mother, so she gives us the essential elements of
• 44:13
  religious life. So this is just starting from
• 44:14
  the basic foundational teachings of the church.
• 44:17
  One of the things that she teaches us is there needs to be
• 44:20
  an outward sign of our consecration so that people on
• 44:24
  the outside can recognize that we actually are totally given to
• 44:29
  Jesus Christ alone, but because we're totally his, we're also
• 44:33
  totally theirs. So when I laid down my life and
• 44:37
  my perpetual vows and prostrated in the sanctuary, I laid down my
• 44:40
  life to my bridegroom and for my bridegroom, but for the whole
• 44:43
  church and for the whole world. So it's a public witness.
• 44:47
  Like I, my life is literally is not mine anymore.
• 44:50
  I have a lot of moments of selfishness where I act like my
• 44:53
  life is still mine, but it's not.
• 44:55
  It actually isn't. And so, so I'll just give you.
• 44:59
  So a very practical example serving the vocation, obviously
• 45:02
  travel a lot. And so we're in airports all the
• 45:05
  time, planes all the time. We encounter people absolutely
• 45:09
  everywhere. And I cannot tell you how many
• 45:13
  Times Now, this is more of what brings tears to eyes.
• 45:15
  How many times people come up to me in the middle of the airport
• 45:19
  and asking for prayers and literally pouring their hearts
• 45:22
  out to you with the most desperate family situations and
• 45:25
  circumstances of their lives. And they come with so much trust
• 45:29
  because when they see us, they see a mother.
• 45:32
  They see a mother, you know, and they.
• 45:35
  And so, yeah, I prayed with people in the middle of the
• 45:38
  airport. I've.
• 45:39
  Yeah. I mean, on planes, I prayed with
• 45:42
  people. Amazing stories.
• 45:45
  People of all walks of life who are so desperate to encounter
• 45:49
  the healing love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
• 45:51
  And there's something that when they see the external sign, they
• 45:54
  know who to walk up to and ask for the prayers.
• 45:56
  So you know what I mean? So that's why the Holy Mother
• 45:58
  Church as that is one of the essential elements of religious
• 46:01
  life, because we've laid our life down in the church for, for
• 46:06
  the world. And so we want others to know
• 46:09
  that we're their mother. We want others to know they can
• 46:12
  come and approach us and ask for prayers.
• 46:14
  That's why we're here. So, so it's, it is such a gift.
• 46:18
  The external witness and sign is such a gift.
• 46:21
  And I think even before that, because that's an overflow, the
• 46:26
  most important thing is for the actual consecrated person
• 46:29
  themselves. So for me personally, I can
• 46:30
  speak to this, that we actually have a prayer that we pray in
• 46:34
  the morning for every part of the habit that we put on.
• 46:37
  And so, so our habit is blessed when we receive the holy habit,
• 46:40
  which I know we didn't finish the stages of formation, but we
• 46:43
  have two years of novitiate. And it's in the second year of
• 46:46
  novitiate that if the young sister feels called to make
• 46:49
  vows, she'll ask to make vows. When she's approved for vows,
• 46:52
  she receives the holy habit about 3 months before making her
• 46:55
  first vows. And this is so postulancy.
• 46:58
  Postulancy for 10 months, two years, no vision.
• 47:01
  Two years, no vision and then vows don't get made until.
• 47:04
  After those two years of no Bishop.
• 47:05
  And then are they final vows or their initial?
• 47:08
  First vows. First vows.
• 47:09
  OK, First vows, Yes, initial vows.
• 47:10
  And we have six years of temporary vows in our community.
• 47:14
  We renew them every year for six years, and then, well, for five
• 47:18
  years. And then we get to the end of
• 47:19
  that sixth year and God willing, we would make perpetual vows of
• 47:22
  poverty, chastity and obedience. So, and again, you know, it's a
• 47:26
  supernatural vocation. It's a supernatural life.
• 47:28
  And so the church is so wise and actually requiring at least
• 47:31
  three years of temporary vows before anyone in a religious
• 47:35
  community makes perpetual vows because it does need to be
• 47:37
  discerned. And you need time to live the
• 47:39
  life. You need time to see if you're
• 47:41
  growing into your true self, becoming more authentically who
• 47:43
  God's created you to be. And so, yeah, so we make vows
• 47:47
  after perpetual vows after six years.
• 47:49
  So it's a total of. Including the postulancy, it's a
• 47:52
  total of 8. So if you do candidacy, so let's
• 47:56
  say one to two years of candidacy, so you have one year
• 47:58
  candidacy, 10 months, about a year postulancy, 2 years of Nova
• 48:04
  shit, and then +6. This is anywhere between 10:50
• 48:07
  years formation time before perpetual vows.
• 48:11
  So yeah, it's a, it's a lengthy process, but again, beautiful.
• 48:15
  So, so wise. So wise.
• 48:16
  How long have you been now a religious sister for?
• 48:18
  Oh, I entered in 2010. OK, so you've been 20. 16 years,
• 48:22
  yes. 16 years, yeah. So it's been beautiful.
• 48:26
  You made your final vows 16 years ago.
• 48:28
  Or no, no, enter the conduit. Enter the concert.
• 48:30
  You look a little. Yeah, no.
• 48:32
  So I I made my perpetual vows in 2019.
• 48:35
  July 21st, 2019. Beautiful, yes.
• 48:39
  So I know I took you 2 directions.
• 48:40
  You're explaining the different stages leading up to perpetual
• 48:43
  vows, which you've been living now since 2019.
• 48:46
  You were describing the habit. Yes, so the habit.
• 48:48
  So, so I love being able to pray as I put on my holy habit every
• 48:53
  morning. But the the important thing to
• 48:55
  remember is that when we're putting on our habit, it's a
• 48:57
  reminder to the consecrated person themself of their
• 49:00
  identity, that they are espoused totally to Christ, They belong
• 49:04
  totally to God in this religious family, whatever religious
• 49:08
  family that is. So I would say even it's a
• 49:10
  reminder of our constitutions, of our rule of life, say put on
• 49:14
  the holy habit of Carmel. I'm reminded, you know, as I
• 49:16
  kiss the scapular in the morning when I go into the Chapel, you
• 49:19
  know that I'm a Carmelite. You know, I belong to the order
• 49:22
  of Our Lady. This is, you know, we actually
• 49:25
  wearing her holy habit, which by the way, I have to put in a plug
• 49:27
  for this because I love it. That's Our Lady.
• 49:31
  This is, I think she's our habit is the only one that she
• 49:33
  actually appeared wearing our habit.
• 49:35
  Our Lady of Mount Carmel appeared wearing the the
• 49:37
  Carmelite havent and that was to Lucia, the apparitions of
• 49:41
  Fatima. So of course she appeared as Our
• 49:43
  Lady of Mount at Carmel to Saint Simon Stock.
• 49:46
  This is a long time ago. So he was one of the Father
• 49:49
  generals of the Carmelite Order. And so he she appeared to him
• 49:54
  and handed him the scapular and said that whoever wore this
• 49:57
  would have her special protection and prayers and would
• 50:02
  help them to basically get to heaven.
• 50:04
  And that's Our Lady of Mount Carmel.
• 50:05
  Our Lady of Mount Carmel, I want to just.
• 50:06
  Pull up a picture, we'll look at it, and maybe we can put it in
• 50:08
  the. Episode The Lady of Mount
• 50:10
  Carmel. There you go.
• 50:11
  That's great, very close and like Yep, there you go.
• 50:14
  Yep. So she's wearing the scapular,
• 50:17
  the brown scapular. She's wearing the brown tunic,
• 50:19
  which is this part that we wear. She has, you'll see her in
• 50:23
  statue. She also has a cincture which is
• 50:25
  the belt and yes, and then her cream colored mantle which we
• 50:29
  also wear as Carmelite Sisters when we go to the Holy Sacrifice
• 50:32
  of the Mass. You change your veil when you go
• 50:35
  to. The Holy sacrifice of the We
• 50:37
  don't know, same veil. Same.
• 50:38
  Yeah. So she she's not wearing a veil
• 50:40
  like this here actually. Usually the white part is the
• 50:43
  mantle. But see that cream colored?
• 50:45
  It's like, it's like some people will say when they see it,
• 50:47
  they're like, what's your Cape for sister?
• 50:49
  You know? But it's called a mantle.
• 50:51
  It's like a mantle, like. The white part of your your
• 50:54
  habit right now. No, it actually goes on.
• 50:56
  So I don't know if you see that cream colored fabric that
• 50:59
  straight over her. We have one like that.
• 51:01
  To wear to masks. To wear to masks and during
• 51:03
  times of adoration. And then when we sing, we have a
• 51:06
  special song that we sing. It's been a tradition in the
• 51:08
  Carmelite order for a very long time.
• 51:10
  It's called the Solemn Salve. So it's a special song to our
• 51:13
  Blessed Mother that we sing together as Carmelites every
• 51:16
  Saturday. They do this in the cloister and
• 51:18
  they also do it in active communities like ours.
• 51:20
  And we hold a lit candle we put on our cream colored mantle, and
• 51:24
  it's a solemn moment of singing in honor of Our Lady as our
• 51:28
  Mother. So we sing the song solve it
• 51:30
  with our mantle on as well. Beautiful.
• 51:32
  Yeah, so. But one last note about the the
• 51:35
  habit. Our mother foundress founded our
• 51:37
  community in Mexico right after she founded our community.
• 51:41
  Mother Lucia. Mother Luisita.
• 51:43
  Yeah. Mother Luisita.
• 51:44
  Luisita yes. So after she founded our
• 51:47
  community in Mexico, an awful persecution broke out.
• 51:50
  And I think, you know, so the Cristero movement, I don't know
• 51:53
  if you've heard of that, but there was a movie that came out
• 51:54
  called For Greater Glory. And it basically goes through
• 52:00
  and shows a little bit of what happened during that
• 52:03
  persecution. Holy Catholic lay people were
• 52:06
  being slaughtered by the government.
• 52:08
  Religious sisters and priests were being sought, haunted down
• 52:11
  by the government and killed and martyred left and right.
• 52:14
  I mean, it was it was a really bloody persecution of the
• 52:16
  Catholic Church in Mexico at that time.
• 52:18
  And that was the time when Mother was starting our
• 52:20
  community, if you can even imagine that.
• 52:22
  What year was this roughly? So our community, so 1927 is
• 52:26
  when we came into existence, Yeah.
• 52:29
  So yes, so mother was trying to start our community and at the
• 52:35
  same time, wearing a habit was against the law.
• 52:40
  So our sisters were in hiding and they would put on a habit to
• 52:43
  make their vows and then immediately have to take it off.
• 52:46
  And they had to wear lay clothes and they had to be in hiding.
• 52:49
  And mother Luisita actually, so her in particular, so she was,
• 52:52
  she was married before she started our community.
• 52:55
  She was married to a doctor, and when he passed away, she was
• 52:58
  widowed at 29 years old, was in mourning for a number of years.
• 53:02
  It's very hard for her. And then years later, ended up
• 53:07
  beginning our community. And so the sisters were not
• 53:09
  allowed to wear their habit. They couldn't.
• 53:10
  They would have been killed. So they came as refugees from
• 53:14
  Mexico into the United States during that time.
• 53:16
  And we're welcomed with open arms into the Archdiocese of Los
• 53:19
  Angeles. And the very first thing that
• 53:22
  they did when they crossed the border into the United States
• 53:24
  and got off the train, they put on their habit and they knelt
• 53:28
  down and sang the tedeum, which is a song, ancient song of
• 53:31
  praise in the church. Just give thanks to God that
• 53:33
  they were in a free country where they could actually wear
• 53:35
  their habit and show forth who they were.
• 53:38
  So the habit has been something that's so sacred to our sisters
• 53:43
  and the particular, so get a little bit more specific here,
• 53:45
  The particular style of our habit.
• 53:47
  So it actually has gone through some different changes through
• 53:51
  the years. When the sisters first came into
• 53:53
  the United States and put on their habit, Mother Lisita, it
• 53:55
  looked like the habit of cloistered Carmelites.
• 53:58
  And there's so there's a couple of differences.
• 53:59
  So if you've ever seen pictures of Saint Therese, for example,
• 54:03
  you'll notice that. So we have this, we call it a
• 54:06
  band. Her veil just sits kind of flat
• 54:08
  on her head and she has the white piece here that covers
• 54:11
  everything, but it's not quite as fitted to the neck as our
• 54:14
  ours is. It's a little looser and that's
• 54:16
  more what a cloistered Carmelite looks.
• 54:18
  Like and just describe briefly the difference between
• 54:20
  cloistered and non cloistered. So you're not cloistered and
• 54:23
  there's cloistered, but you're both Carmelites.
• 54:25
  Absolutely. So we have our greater Carmelite
• 54:28
  family. And just like you have your
• 54:30
  family, you're part of, you have an extended family, right?
• 54:32
  You're all the same family, but then you have your own immediate
• 54:35
  families like your your husband, your children, that's your
• 54:37
  immediate family. It's kind of like that in
• 54:39
  Carmel. So we have the greater Carmelite
• 54:42
  family. We're all a part of Our Lady's
• 54:44
  order. We all, we wear the holy habit.
• 54:47
  We follow the same Carmelite spirituality if we're of Holy
• 54:51
  Mother, Saint Teresa and Saint John of the Cross.
• 54:54
  But we have our own separate immediate families, which means
• 54:57
  that our governance, we're autonomous in our governance of
• 55:00
  our institute. OK.
• 55:02
  So just explain in that. So the governance of our
• 55:06
  community, our active contemplative community, which
• 55:08
  is what we are of active sisters, not strictly
• 55:11
  cloistered, we have our own autonomous governance there and
• 55:15
  every cloister is also autonomous and its governance as
• 55:19
  well. So cloistered is.
• 55:22
  So when we refer to that, we're talking about Carmelite nuns.
• 55:24
  So a nun actually lives a strictly contemplative life.
• 55:27
  And what that means is if they're practicing, this is
• 55:31
  getting a little technical, but if they're practicing what we
• 55:32
  call people enclosure, there are different levels of enclosure
• 55:35
  depending on the different communities.
• 55:38
  That means that when they enter the cloister, they enter the
• 55:40
  convent. They stay within the walls of
• 55:43
  the convent for the rest of their life unless there's a
• 55:45
  serious reason for them to come out, right.
• 55:48
  So yes, the sisters stay in the cloister in the cloistered area,
• 55:52
  which is the area that only, only the nuns or only the
• 55:56
  sisters are able to, to go into. And so if you're a cloistered
• 55:59
  Carmelite nun, your life is one of prayer and penance and
• 56:03
  sacrifice. And they also work too, but just
• 56:06
  within the within the convent. So some will do altar breads,
• 56:10
  they do lots of gardening, some will do different works to also
• 56:13
  help sustain themselves as a, as a Carmelite convent.
• 56:16
  So now for us as active sisters, we live the spirituality of
• 56:21
  Carmel, but because of our particular charism.
• 56:25
  So when the Holy Father approved us as active, contemplative
• 56:28
  Carmelite sisters, Mother Luisita, he approved that
• 56:30
  charism through the Bishop in Mexico.
• 56:32
  At that time, we were designed, we were actually founded to
• 56:38
  allow the spirit of Carmel to bring that spirit into the world
• 56:42
  and to actually infuse the spirit of Carmel.
• 56:46
  Yeah, too. It's just share it with all
• 56:48
  those that we encounter through our active apostolates, through
• 56:51
  retreats, healthcare and education.
• 56:53
  And so we still live the Carmelite spirit, but it's it's
• 56:58
  lived in an active, contemplative life.
• 57:00
  Beautiful. So yes, going out into the
• 57:02
  world, which is why I'm here. I'm so glad you're here and
• 57:06
  looking back on the whole process of your childhood, those
• 57:11
  difficult teen years, college, and then the process and the
• 57:15
  steps of becoming ultimately a religious sister, Were there
• 57:19
  specific moments where you remember God was really leading
• 57:22
  you? Oh my goodness, yes.
• 57:25
  So many, so many moments. My goodness.
• 57:29
  Let's see which one the Holy Spirit wants me to share with
• 57:31
  you. Yes, I mean, he The thing is,
• 57:35
  there's so, gosh, there's so many moments that I really,
• 57:37
  there's so many moments that I could tell you.
• 57:42
  Yeah, I would definitely say for sure.
• 57:46
  So I shared with you, you know, so growing up with my brother's
• 57:49
  death, that was such a it was a very difficult, very difficult
• 57:52
  thing. And in the years following, but
• 57:55
  there were so many moments in those years when I was in high
• 57:58
  school where I really did feel our Lord's presence so
• 58:01
  powerfully, so, so powerfully. And I'm, I'm thinking of 1
• 58:04
  moment. This is probably around the time
• 58:07
  when, I don't know, maybe I was 16 or 17 years old.
• 58:10
  And even at that time, because I felt like I was constantly
• 58:13
  praying for my family and constantly praying for a miracle
• 58:15
  of feeling for my dad, for my whole family.
• 58:18
  And I just remember having this moment in prayer where I knew I
• 58:22
  didn't realize at that time. So what you're what you're
• 58:24
  referring to, I didn't know at that time that this was also
• 58:26
  very Carmelite. But our Lord showed me that he
• 58:29
  had put this thirst in my soul, that I had such a thirst for
• 58:33
  intimacy with God. And the only way I knew how to
• 58:36
  describe it at that time was that God was calling me to a
• 58:39
  relationship with himself that could only go deeper and deeper
• 58:42
  and deeper and become more and more profound and just keep
• 58:45
  expanding my soul more and more. And that could never come to an
• 58:48
  end. And so that I remember that
• 58:51
  moment and now looking back at that, I can put words to it and
• 58:55
  say that was a thirst for the infinite.
• 58:57
  You know, that was a thirst for the infinite God.
• 58:59
  And he was creating that thirst in my soul, preparing me to be
• 59:01
  Carmelite. I already was.
• 59:03
  I didn't know so, but so it's little moments like that, you
• 59:07
  know, in prayer, definitely I would say, gosh, moments in
• 59:13
  discernment. So this is actually, this is
• 59:14
  kind of a fun story. This I was not not by a long
• 59:18
  shot was I discerning at this point, but I was in high school,
• 59:20
  OK. And God, again, God was
• 59:22
  preparing me. But we actually made a visit to
• 59:24
  a cloistered Carmelite monastery in Lafayette, LA, which is about
• 59:28
  an hour away from where I grew up.
• 59:29
  And it was AI was at the Catholic school.
• 59:32
  So it was a class field trip. OK, all 40 of us, super small
• 59:36
  class, a very small graduating class.
• 59:37
  We got on a bus, went to visit the Carmelite nuns in Lafayette.
• 59:41
  And I'll never forget, we got off the bus, went into the
• 59:46
  parlor there and cloistered nuns speak to you through what we
• 59:49
  call a grill, which means that, you know, it can be an iron
• 59:52
  grill, it can be a wooden grill, but it basically it's something
• 59:55
  that separates them from you physically.
• 59:58
  So they're on one side of the grill.
• 59:59
  It's like a screen, a certain kind of screen.
• 1:00:01
  They're on one side of the grill, you're on the other side.
• 1:00:04
  And I remember all of us piling into that room waiting for the
• 1:00:07
  the Carmelite nuns to come and they had a curtain closed.
• 1:00:10
  And then they opened up the curtain on their side of the
• 1:00:12
  grill. And when I saw.
• 1:00:13
  Of them, whenever, when I walked into that Carmelite monastery, I
• 1:00:16
  had this peace. This is deep peace, just wash
• 1:00:20
  over me. And I remember thinking, wow,
• 1:00:22
  there's something really special about this place.
• 1:00:24
  I can't name it, but it's really special.
• 1:00:27
  So I was just saturated in peace.
• 1:00:30
  And then when the nuns that I saw the Carmelite nuns, they
• 1:00:33
  were just it was amazing. They were radiating this love
• 1:00:36
  and this joy of Jesus. And I was just so drawn to them.
• 1:00:41
  And OK, so the way it all played out was I was the last one in
• 1:00:46
  there. So everybody else was like
• 1:00:47
  leaving. They were all going, getting
• 1:00:49
  back on the bus. I was the last one in there.
• 1:00:50
  I was clutching the nun's hands through the grill and I was
• 1:00:53
  crying my eyes out and I did not want to leave.
• 1:00:55
  Like I just remember thinking in my heart, just get me on the
• 1:00:58
  other side of that grill. I just want to stay because they
• 1:01:01
  had so much love and joy and freedom.
• 1:01:04
  I mean, it was tangible. You could see it and you could
• 1:01:06
  feel it again, like that's just like a little, that was a grace,
• 1:01:10
  a big grace actually from our Lord and preparing me for my own
• 1:01:13
  vocation that I had no idea what was to come at that time
• 1:01:16
  especially. But at that time also, I was
• 1:01:19
  going through a really hard time.
• 1:01:20
  You know, my family, we were still really struggling with my
• 1:01:22
  dad and all of that. So I was asking for their
• 1:01:24
  prayers, but all I knew was that I wanted what they had.
• 1:01:29
  I wanted what they had and I felt so drawn to it.
• 1:01:32
  So, yeah. So that was an amazing moment of
• 1:01:35
  grace for me As I look back, even as a teenager, you know,
• 1:01:37
  that our Lord was working so powerfully in my own hearts.
• 1:01:40
  And then, of course, in my religious life, so many, gosh,
• 1:01:43
  so many different moments. I think about the moments with
• 1:01:47
  some of our elder sisters who are now an eternity of just
• 1:01:50
  having hearts to hearts with them and letting them speak to
• 1:01:53
  me about fidelity in our life, you know, and yeah, just saying
• 1:01:57
  yes to our Lord with whatever he asks and the witness of their
• 1:02:01
  obedience and their consecrated life, you know, that.
• 1:02:04
  And now their vows are fulfilled in eternity.
• 1:02:06
  It's just amazing. So yeah, there's a lot of
• 1:02:09
  moments. I'm sure the whole your whole
• 1:02:11
  life is moments of experience of divine intimacy with the Lord
• 1:02:15
  calling you. It's so beautiful.
• 1:02:17
  But has there ever been a time that you felt, at least felt,
• 1:02:21
  you wanted to leave the convent? Well, if you're looking at human
• 1:02:25
  feelings, sure, for sure, but not I guess it goes back to what
• 1:02:29
  I was telling you before. It's not because I didn't feel
• 1:02:33
  like I didn't have a call or or even because I ever would have
• 1:02:36
  actually left. But I think on hard days, right,
• 1:02:40
  like just as a human being, you know, you go to the Lord and
• 1:02:43
  you're like, I'm out of here, right.
• 1:02:46
  You're like, we're like. Yeah, what's the sort of
• 1:02:48
  temptation? I want to go get myself an ice
• 1:02:51
  cream and lay on the beach or like I want to go home.
• 1:02:54
  Like what's the? Yeah.
• 1:02:55
  Like, what would cause somebody to say, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:57
  Or what? So like, is there a specific
• 1:02:58
  temptation of like when you say Get Me Out of here, is there a
• 1:03:01
  specific temptation? Associated with that, yeah.
• 1:03:04
  So I think sometimes, I mean, here's the thing, like I said,
• 1:03:07
  I'm saying, I'm saying that knowing that I, I don't, yeah, I
• 1:03:13
  never would leave him. I never would leave him,
• 1:03:15
  actually. Thank you.
• 1:03:16
  Love them. I love them, right.
• 1:03:18
  And so when I'm saying that in a really human way, what I mean is
• 1:03:21
  like, we all have really hard times that we go through
• 1:03:24
  regardless of what our vocation is, regardless of what our life
• 1:03:26
  is. That's just that's just human.
• 1:03:29
  And I think what can happen sometimes is we want to pretend
• 1:03:33
  like we don't feel that we want to make like what we call like a
• 1:03:35
  spiritual bypass. And that's not what God wants us
• 1:03:38
  to do. He doesn't want us to pretend
• 1:03:39
  like we're not going through hard times and to not really
• 1:03:42
  acknowledge it. And there are times when our
• 1:03:44
  life gets really hard and intense, like everybody else's
• 1:03:46
  life, right? And there's certain sufferings
• 1:03:48
  that are unique to religious life that we're going to go
• 1:03:51
  through that married people aren't going to go through and
• 1:03:53
  their unique sufferings that you all are going to go through that
• 1:03:56
  we're not going to go through. So I think it's, I think it's
• 1:04:00
  kind of normal, you know, to go through that.
• 1:04:02
  In fact, I would say, especially as you're a young sister, like
• 1:04:06
  learning a brand new life, you know, I mean, there's just so
• 1:04:09
  much that you're learning. You learn new apostolates,
• 1:04:11
  you're having to learn new skill sets.
• 1:04:13
  Sometimes you might receive an assignment that's ridiculously
• 1:04:16
  hard for you, right? And that you don't feel like you
• 1:04:18
  have natural gifts and skill sets for and you might have
• 1:04:21
  years that feel like The Dark Knight where you really feel
• 1:04:24
  like Lord, where are you? So in your in your feelings, you
• 1:04:26
  don't feel him right. So that's the thing.
• 1:04:30
  I mean, we all go through those seasons in our lives and our
• 1:04:34
  Lord wants us to be so honest with him about that.
• 1:04:37
  So for me, I would say yes, I had very, some of the years were
• 1:04:40
  very difficult in the apostolate and it was just really heavy.
• 1:04:43
  And it felt a lot like, I don't like, can I do this, Lord?
• 1:04:46
  Like seriously, that's really what you're asking because I
• 1:04:47
  don't know if I can do this in my poverty.
• 1:04:51
  So those kinds of things. And then, you know, there's
• 1:04:54
  obviously spiritual desolation that comes about in all of our
• 1:04:57
  lives. You know, we go through
• 1:04:58
  different difficult things and then in our personal lives too,
• 1:05:00
  right? So we have health struggles.
• 1:05:03
  We have, I mean, all kinds of different things that can come
• 1:05:05
  up. And yeah, I think that, I mean,
• 1:05:09
  temptation is just going to be a part of life.
• 1:05:11
  It's just going to be a part of life.
• 1:05:13
  And I would say probably as a younger sister, like when I was
• 1:05:16
  first like in temporary vows, like when those thoughts and
• 1:05:18
  those temptations come up, it's like it's a little bit more
• 1:05:21
  worrisome for you because you're like, oh, no, what does that
• 1:05:23
  mean? I'm not supposed to be here, You
• 1:05:25
  know, if I'm like, you know, feeling this or thinking this or
• 1:05:27
  whatever. Well, no.
• 1:05:29
  So it's the same thing with married people.
• 1:05:30
  Like you have really hard days in your marriage where like, it
• 1:05:33
  might feel tempting sometimes to want to just walk out the door
• 1:05:37
  or just like whatever, throw in the towel.
• 1:05:38
  But does that mean that you're not called to to stay faithful?
• 1:05:42
  Absolutely not. We're human, you know, And so,
• 1:05:47
  yeah, so I would say it's, it's usually when times get really
• 1:05:50
  intense and when we're experiencing our own poverty, at
• 1:05:53
  least for myself, I'm experiencing my own poverty in
• 1:05:55
  some way, shape or form. But here's, and I'm not trying
• 1:05:58
  to like overly spiritualize this at all, but telling you through
• 1:06:01
  very real experiences in my own life, there's always been an
• 1:06:04
  invitation to our Lord that when he leads, when he's led me into
• 1:06:09
  those experiences of my very real poverty, of knowing that I
• 1:06:11
  cannot do it on my own. I can't live my vows on my own.
• 1:06:15
  I can't serve on my own. It's an invitation to a radical,
• 1:06:21
  A deeper radical surrender to him, which I did make on the day
• 1:06:24
  of my vows, especially my perpetual vows.
• 1:06:26
  I gave him everything, but it's our whole life where he's
• 1:06:30
  calling to just strip away everything that keeps me from a
• 1:06:33
  total dependence on him, really. So that I can live my vocation
• 1:06:36
  in freedom, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health
• 1:06:40
  and until death, when my vows will find their fulfillment in
• 1:06:43
  heaven with him, God willing. So anyway.
• 1:06:46
  So, yeah. So there's hard times.
• 1:06:48
  And yet he's such a faithful, faithful bridegroom.
• 1:06:52
  In fact, when our sisters celebrate their jubilee, So
• 1:06:56
  jubilee is 25 years, 30 years in the convent, 75 years in the
• 1:06:59
  convent, which we actually have some, you know, got like 7580
• 1:07:02
  years in the convent. Isn't that wild?
• 1:07:04
  So people don't even live to be that old.
• 1:07:05
  And that's how long they were in the convent.
• 1:07:08
  But if you ask them, they will tell you it's all him.
• 1:07:11
  Like it's his faithfulness to them.
• 1:07:14
  And we have to choose to say yes.
• 1:07:16
  And sometimes it's going to feel like the yes is cutting to the
• 1:07:20
  very core, you know? But he's asking for a radical
• 1:07:23
  surrender. And I can only tell you that it
• 1:07:26
  leads to the most incredible interior freedom that you
• 1:07:31
  actually trust me. I'm not a ride, but I'm telling
• 1:07:34
  you like I've tasted it in little pieces.
• 1:07:36
  I'm nowhere close, but tasted it in little, little pieces and
• 1:07:40
  snippets of when we actually make those deeper surrenders in
• 1:07:44
  our times of deepest suffering. And we keep saying yes and
• 1:07:46
  walking with him and the passion with him, it will lead to such a
• 1:07:51
  deep interior freedom. And He does purify us through
• 1:07:55
  those times so that on the other side, our love is so much pure.
• 1:08:00
  And there's you. You realize it's his fidelity in
• 1:08:02
  you. It's not you, that's the thing.
• 1:08:04
  It's like Christ living his fidelity to the Father in
• 1:08:08
  poverty, chastity, and obedience in US and through us.
• 1:08:10
  But we have to let him. So beautiful.
• 1:08:13
  It's a lifelong journey. Yes, it's messy for everybody.
• 1:08:16
  It's all right. The life.
• 1:08:18
  Of faith. It is a life of faith.
• 1:08:20
  Do you think other people should become nuns or religious
• 1:08:22
  sisters? Oh, well, that's quite a
• 1:08:24
  question you're asking a vocation director.
• 1:08:27
  I'm married, so I'm I'm I'm off the table but.
• 1:08:31
  Oh my goodness, if. God, I thought about it, you
• 1:08:34
  know, before. Getting married Well, actually
• 1:08:36
  you should right, like every young adult Catholic woman who's
• 1:08:39
  single, just open her heart to whatever God wants.
• 1:08:42
  So I mean, the answer to that question is yes, if God's
• 1:08:45
  calling them, you know, that's the thing that in walking with
• 1:08:49
  women and discernment, what an incredible gift, such a
• 1:08:52
  privilege and a gift and an honor, and it's so sacred, you
• 1:08:55
  know, and the whole process of it, though, really and truly.
• 1:09:01
  So each one of us, like our Lord has a unique plan for every
• 1:09:05
  single one of our lives. And he knows why he's created us
• 1:09:07
  and he knows our best path to our best path to holiness.
• 1:09:11
  So he knows the kind of love that we're created for that's
• 1:09:16
  going to make us into the best St. we can be.
• 1:09:18
  And that's really what we're seeking after.
• 1:09:20
  So, so if God is calling someone to be a religious sister, if, if
• 1:09:24
  she is truly called 100% yes, of course, I hope and pray that she
• 1:09:28
  says yes. But if he's not calling her,
• 1:09:31
  absolutely not, you know, And again, going back to the whole
• 1:09:35
  discernment process, that's why there actually are so many years
• 1:09:39
  in the process because it's a supernatural vocation.
• 1:09:41
  You've got to live it. You've got to learn the life and
• 1:09:43
  sometimes really, even sometimes a few years into temporary vows
• 1:09:46
  of living a vowed life to see, is this what I'm created for?
• 1:09:50
  Is this how my heart's created to be a bride and a mother?
• 1:09:52
  How I'm created to love so? What are some signs that someone
• 1:09:56
  might experience or or or have that might indicate they may
• 1:10:00
  have a calling to religious life, especially to, if you're a
• 1:10:05
  woman, to the convent? Right, such a good question.
• 1:10:08
  So I've been talking a lot about it's this might sound like an
• 1:10:12
  interesting place to start, but spiritual motherhood, often
• 1:10:15
  times there is this, there is this sense in your heart that
• 1:10:20
  you're called to embrace all. Like there's this universal call
• 1:10:25
  to motherhood that you really feel the sense that even though,
• 1:10:30
  yes, you desire a husband and children of your own, that
• 1:10:35
  there's something in your heart that knows that you're, you're
• 1:10:38
  called to have even more children.
• 1:10:40
  Like you're, you're called to this, this expansive kind of
• 1:10:44
  love that embraces the world. And again, it's not that lay
• 1:10:46
  people don't have that or can't have that, but it's a, there's a
• 1:10:49
  unique character to it. If you're called to be a
• 1:10:52
  spiritual mother in consecrated life that you really do feel the
• 1:10:56
  sense of, of laying down your life for the church and the
• 1:10:58
  world and that kind of spiritual mother.
• 1:11:00
  It's very expansive. There often times is a sense of
• 1:11:04
  this desire for a total gift of self to Christ alone, like a
• 1:11:09
  spousal. And you'll start.
• 1:11:11
  Sometimes women will start to experience a spousal love for
• 1:11:14
  him in prayer, or they'll experience his spousal love
• 1:11:18
  coming to them, you know, and really wooing them in that way.
• 1:11:22
  So that call to be his bride and that that love of exclusivity
• 1:11:26
  like for him alone. So as I was describing to you
• 1:11:29
  before, I kept having the sense within my own soul like I was
• 1:11:31
  jealously claimed by him as the best way I know how to put it
• 1:11:34
  into words. I even had a friend tell me in
• 1:11:37
  college ones, which I was not happy with her for saying at
• 1:11:39
  that time, because at that time I was still running away from
• 1:11:41
  the vocation. But she said something to me.
• 1:11:44
  She's like, you know, like, you know, you have the word like
• 1:11:47
  basically like claimed by God across your forehead.
• 1:11:50
  Like there apparently there was something about me that was
• 1:11:52
  like, don't touch. Like she belongs to God.
• 1:11:55
  I was so mad. I was like, what?
• 1:11:56
  That's not true. But yeah.
• 1:11:59
  But there's there is often times a sense of just wanting to
• 1:12:02
  belong to Jesus Christ alone. Yeah.
• 1:12:06
  So the totality, the exclusivity of love, this expansiveness and
• 1:12:11
  spiritual motherhood and wanting to be a mother to all those are
• 1:12:14
  just a few things, but. Beautiful.
• 1:12:16
  And also a love for prayer too, right?
• 1:12:18
  Like to feel our Lord like continuing to draw you like into
• 1:12:20
  prayer because yeah, our life, regardless of what charism, what
• 1:12:26
  community, we're all called to intimacy with God by prayer
• 1:12:30
  first. That's the most fruitful of all
• 1:12:32
  our postulates. The most fruitful thing we can
• 1:12:34
  give to the church is our life of intimacy with God.
• 1:12:38
  So. What are some misconceptions
• 1:12:40
  that people have about being a sister?
• 1:12:43
  Oh, I think their life is boring.
• 1:12:46
  We're not happy. We just like kneel and pray all
• 1:12:49
  the time. And I OK, so I have to tell you
• 1:12:52
  the things I've been that I've actually had the opportunity to
• 1:12:54
  do since I've been in the convent.
• 1:12:55
  I don't think I ever would have done ever if I wasn't a sister.
• 1:12:59
  I know that sounds funny, but it's actually true.
• 1:13:02
  So like what? Her life is amazing.
• 1:13:05
  OK, well, it's OK. This is a little, this is going
• 1:13:07
  to sound a little super official, but she's so lovely.
• 1:13:09
  I'm just going to tell you. OK, so I, so I got to meet Julie
• 1:13:12
  Andrews. It was so awesome.
• 1:13:15
  I just like I hit the microphone.
• 1:13:16
  I'm so excited. So Julie Andrews anyway, we sang
• 1:13:21
  at this event and she came and I didn't realize that we knew her.
• 1:13:25
  And anyway, so I was beyond myself with excitement.
• 1:13:28
  She got inspo from you guys, right?
• 1:13:30
  She got what inspiration from you guys?
• 1:13:32
  Inspiration. Well, yeah, she would have in
• 1:13:35
  the way years back. Sound of Music, right?
• 1:13:36
  For The Sound of Music, but we didn't know her way back when,
• 1:13:40
  but. But it's when after I entered.
• 1:13:42
  So we ended up getting to meet her.
• 1:13:43
  I was like, that's phenomenal. You know, my goodness.
• 1:13:47
  Yeah. So I actually, I joked about
• 1:13:49
  this with my family. So as a sister, I walked to the
• 1:13:52
  red carpet. You know, we went to this movie
• 1:13:54
  premiere, you know, we were invited to go.
• 1:13:56
  And so I just I told them we were laughing about it.
• 1:13:59
  I was like, you know, it actually looked really different
• 1:14:01
  from the way that I always dreamed about it when I was
• 1:14:03
  little. It's like, you know, when I was
• 1:14:04
  little, I always pictured myself and like the the red gown I was
• 1:14:07
  gonna wear, like the shoes and all of this.
• 1:14:09
  And it says, you know, the way it actually worked out in the
• 1:14:11
  comment was, you know, the Chrysler minivan rolls up and
• 1:14:15
  the door opens and, like, the black nun shoe hits the red
• 1:14:18
  carpet. It's, like, so different from
• 1:14:21
  the way I dreamed about it as a little girl.
• 1:14:24
  But, you know, there's fun stuff like that.
• 1:14:26
  Yeah. Honestly.
• 1:14:27
  I mean, gosh, I mean, our life, our life is so full of
• 1:14:31
  surprises. That's really all I can tell
• 1:14:33
  you. You know, of course we have an
• 1:14:34
  aurarium. Of course, prayer is, you know,
• 1:14:37
  primary, of course, our apostolates and God will bring
• 1:14:40
  out these beautiful opportunities.
• 1:14:42
  And Even so for example, I, I know that my, my, the way I
• 1:14:46
  serve in community is very unique and I'm serving as a
• 1:14:49
  vocation directors. I never would have known that
• 1:14:51
  God was going to call me to be the vocation directors in the
• 1:14:53
  community. And so I have to say it's, it
• 1:14:57
  has been a beautiful gift to be able to travel to so many
• 1:15:00
  different places and meet so many different people and to
• 1:15:04
  help to just encounter so many different hearts to draw them
• 1:15:06
  closer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
• 1:15:08
  So yeah, our life, gosh, yeah, I know our life is far from
• 1:15:12
  boring. And in fact, I think many of us
• 1:15:14
  would say we wish we was babies sometimes a little, a little bit
• 1:15:17
  more boring. What do?
• 1:15:20
  Carmelite Sisters do for fun. Oh, what do we do for fun?
• 1:15:24
  OK, so we actually our community, we love to line
• 1:15:26
  dance. We just, we love to Just Dance.
• 1:15:28
  To go away, sister. Oh my gosh.
• 1:15:31
  OK. We love to lie dancing other
• 1:15:33
  sisters. I know so.
• 1:15:35
  I have to tell you this, we were actually talking before you came
• 1:15:38
  and I was telling my husband last night.
• 1:15:39
  I'm like, I think I'm going to ask sister as part of our bonus
• 1:15:43
  footage to line dance and he's like, oh, she line dance.
• 1:15:46
  She probably doesn't line. Dance.
• 1:15:48
  Yes, I'm being serious because we are one of our last guests,
• 1:15:52
  Michael Iskander and our producer Harris, they do line
• 1:15:55
  dancing together. So we all did a little line
• 1:15:56
  dancing and I'm kind of learning.
• 1:15:58
  So I was like, well, maybe sister can.
• 1:16:00
  And my husband said, well, she maybe knows a dance she can
• 1:16:03
  teach you. I do actually line dancing
• 1:16:06
  several. I know many actually.
• 1:16:07
  So that is, that's awesome. That's the whole.
• 1:16:10
  The Lord has a sense of humor. He has.
• 1:16:12
  Yeah. I can see this little twinkle in
• 1:16:13
  his. He loves that.
• 1:16:15
  That's awesome. Would you dance with me
• 1:16:16
  afterwards? Are you kidding?
• 1:16:17
  Of course I would all. Right, we're doing it here,
• 1:16:19
  really. Dance would be awesome.
• 1:16:21
  That's amazing. So you line dance at the
• 1:16:24
  convent. We line dance at the convent, we
• 1:16:25
  actually have a beautiful Plaza. So at our mother house, Secret
• 1:16:28
  Heart Retreat House, we are so blessed.
• 1:16:30
  That campus is so beautiful. We have the the Plaza del
• 1:16:33
  Carmen, this lovely statue. So we dance around Our Lady of
• 1:16:36
  Mount Carmel. So yeah, we have, we actually
• 1:16:40
  have a lot of fun as sisters and community.
• 1:16:42
  We are blessed. So there's pickleball, We do
• 1:16:44
  pickleball, we do cornhole. You know, some sisters will do
• 1:16:47
  the line dancing. And then sometimes for
• 1:16:50
  recreation, we'll just, we'll sit and we just, we talk, you
• 1:16:53
  know, we just share together sisters, we play games.
• 1:16:56
  It really just depends, you know, so.
• 1:16:58
  Do you ever watch movies? We do, yeah, we do watch movies,
• 1:17:01
  yes, yes, yeah. So we have you seen?
• 1:17:04
  House of David, Do you watch TV shows?
• 1:17:06
  No, well, I haven't. No, I think I've heard of that.
• 1:17:09
  You might like it a. Lot really OK.
• 1:17:11
  It's a new Amazon Prime series called House of David about the
• 1:17:15
  life of King David. Oh beautiful.
• 1:17:16
  Our last guest that we did the line dancing with.
• 1:17:18
  He plays David in House of David.
• 1:17:20
  It's sort of like the Chosen, except Old Testament.
• 1:17:22
  OK, that's what I say. We do really like the Chosen,
• 1:17:26
  that we like the chosen. A lot.
• 1:17:27
  Does Jesus in your heart look like Jonathan Rumi or like Jim
• 1:17:30
  Caviezel? Oh my gosh, what a question.
• 1:17:33
  You want me to be honest? Very, very much neither.
• 1:17:37
  Neither one. Yeah, our Lord, he has, I think.
• 1:17:41
  I think, gosh, the way he shows himself to each one of us is
• 1:17:44
  just so unique with how he speaks to her heart.
• 1:17:46
  So. It's only yours.
• 1:17:48
  I know what my bridegroom looks like, so in my heart, yeah.
• 1:17:55
  I'm gonna cry, all right? What's so special about the
• 1:17:57
  Carmelites? You spoke about this a little
• 1:17:59
  bit already, but what's so special?
• 1:18:01
  What is special about the Carmelites as compared to the
• 1:18:04
  other orders? So the Catholic Church and the
• 1:18:06
  Orthodox, they have a lot of different orders, religious
• 1:18:08
  orders. You are a Carmelite.
• 1:18:10
  I'm a Carmelite. I'm so grateful to be a
• 1:18:13
  Carmelite and. Can you just describe briefly
• 1:18:15
  what is an order for people listening?
• 1:18:17
  Yes, that's a good question. So within the within the family
• 1:18:21
  of the Catholic Church, or like I know you mentioned the
• 1:18:23
  Orthodox Church as well. So within the family of the
• 1:18:25
  Catholic Church, there are different, what I would call
• 1:18:28
  religious families. So that's we talk about
• 1:18:30
  ourselves as a family because we actually are, we are a religious
• 1:18:33
  family. And so each order is its own
• 1:18:38
  religious family and every order is given a unique charism.
• 1:18:43
  And when we talk about a charism and Holy Mother Church,
• 1:18:46
  basically what we're speaking about is the unique way that
• 1:18:49
  that religious family shines forth the holiness of Jesus in
• 1:18:53
  the world. So the Holy Spirit gives a
• 1:18:55
  charism to a founder or a foundress, and we'll invite that
• 1:19:00
  founder of founders to to shine forth the life and the holiness
• 1:19:04
  of Jesus in a particular way in the world.
• 1:19:07
  So when we think about the Dominicans, and of course they
• 1:19:09
  live a life of contemplated prayer as well, but they are the
• 1:19:13
  order of preachers. So they are shining forth the
• 1:19:16
  beauty and the holiness of the preaching Christ in the world
• 1:19:19
  through the gift of truth, Jesus, who is the truth himself.
• 1:19:21
  So how beautiful, you know, the Franciscans, they're shining
• 1:19:26
  forth the gift of the poor Christ in the world and Jesus
• 1:19:29
  love for preferential love for the poor.
• 1:19:32
  So how beautiful as Carmelites in particular, we are called to
• 1:19:38
  shine forth the holiness of the praying Jesus, Jesus on the
• 1:19:41
  mountaintop, Jesus in intimate contemplation and union with his
• 1:19:45
  Father in prayer for the life of the church.
• 1:19:49
  So we always say, says in our constitutions, prayer, prayer is
• 1:19:56
  it. We are actually as Carmelites,
• 1:19:57
  we're called to become a living prayer.
• 1:19:59
  That's what our call is. And so if we're not in union
• 1:20:03
  with Christ in prayer, our works are going to be, as Saint Paul
• 1:20:07
  talks about it, like it's going to be empty.
• 1:20:09
  It really will actually be empty.
• 1:20:11
  Our life of service in the church is an overflow of our
• 1:20:15
  intimacy with God in prayer. So Carmel gives that gift of
• 1:20:20
  prayer and intimacy with God to the world and to the Church.
• 1:20:24
  And so for us, it's Carmelites really.
• 1:20:28
  We talked about Carmelite spirituality.
• 1:20:29
  OK, so this is my own unique perspective.
• 1:20:31
  I know other Carmelites who have a similar perspective, but we
• 1:20:34
  say Carmelite spirituality. But when you actually look at
• 1:20:37
  the different unique elements that make up Carmelite
• 1:20:40
  spirituality, which you'll actually come to realize is that
• 1:20:45
  those these pillars, these foundation stones of Carmelite
• 1:20:47
  spirituality are actually the pillars and foundation stones of
• 1:20:50
  the life of every baptized Christian and especially a
• 1:20:53
  Catholic everyone. And so Carmel really kind of
• 1:20:57
  takes these essential core elements like the meat and the
• 1:21:00
  potatoes of the spiritual life, I would say.
• 1:21:03
  And we live them hopefully with with great intensity and zeal.
• 1:21:08
  So we're looking at things like, look, I was talking to you about
• 1:21:11
  every Christian, every Catholic is called to, to contemplation,
• 1:21:14
  to prayer and intimacy with God. Whether you're a layperson,
• 1:21:18
  married layperson in the world doesn't matter.
• 1:21:20
  Everyone is called to be an intimacy with God by prayer.
• 1:21:24
  The whole section of the Catechism of the Catholic
• 1:21:26
  Church, this gorgeous section on prayer, all the different quotes
• 1:21:31
  on prayer, Oh my goodness. And if you go to the section on
• 1:21:34
  prayer and the Catechism of the Catholic Church, you will find
• 1:21:37
  Carmelites coded. There's a reason for that.
• 1:21:40
  So you'll find, you know, Saint Teresa of Avila, Saint Elizabeth
• 1:21:44
  of the Trinity, St. Therese, quoted in the section
• 1:21:48
  on prayer, because that that is the Carmelite gift to the
• 1:21:50
  Church. But we're all called to that.
• 1:21:52
  So it's a life of prayer, a life of self denial, right?
• 1:21:56
  Like Jesus says to all Christians in the Gospel, take
• 1:21:58
  up your cross and follow me. So that's not just for priests
• 1:22:02
  religious, and not definitely not just for Carmelites.
• 1:22:04
  That's for the whole Christian baptized community that we're
• 1:22:08
  all called to deny ourselves through penance, like free
• 1:22:11
  penance and sacrifice that we offer.
• 1:22:13
  There's certain things the Holy Mother Church asks us to do,
• 1:22:15
  though. That's the minimum, but
• 1:22:17
  hopefully in our spiritual lives, we're just starting that
• 1:22:19
  with the Lord to make sacrifice. So prayer, sacrifice, penance,
• 1:22:25
  these are also messages of our Blessed Mother in her
• 1:22:27
  apparitions that she kind of repeats over and over again
• 1:22:30
  whenever she does appear, in different places, different
• 1:22:33
  times, different peoples. So those are pillars of Carmel
• 1:22:38
  also, of course, Our Lady. So for us as Catholics like she,
• 1:22:42
  she is our mother, she's our mother.
• 1:22:43
  And so we're clothed in Our Lady's habit, but in that we
• 1:22:47
  actually really are called to embody her, especially as
• 1:22:50
  consecrated women, religious, Our goal and as Carmelites in
• 1:22:54
  particular, is to show forth her beauty and her holiness in the
• 1:22:57
  world. So for me personally, I, I don't
• 1:23:01
  often say that I have devotion to her.
• 1:23:03
  That's beautiful. That's nothing wrong with saying
• 1:23:05
  she'd have devotion to her. It's Catholic, beautiful
• 1:23:07
  Catholic language, but I just like I have like she is, she's
• 1:23:11
  my heart, like she's my mother, have a relationship with her.
• 1:23:15
  You know, it's like it's 1/2 her actually become someone in our
• 1:23:18
  lives who's so real and who's really walking with us every
• 1:23:21
  step of the way. Like the wedding feast at Cana,
• 1:23:25
  like she's always interceding and pointing at saying do
• 1:23:28
  whatever he tells you. So as Carmelites, we strive to
• 1:23:32
  embody her in the world. There's zeal, right?
• 1:23:36
  Like to have a zeal for souls. It's very Carmelite to have this
• 1:23:41
  fire of Saint Elijah. The the silence is another
• 1:23:44
  thing. So, and even with our silence,
• 1:23:47
  again, even for lay people in the world, our Lord does call us
• 1:23:51
  into times of silence and solitude because that's another
• 1:23:54
  big part of Carmelite spirituality, silence and
• 1:23:56
  solitude. He speaks to all of us and
• 1:23:58
  calling us to come away and rest for a while and to be with him
• 1:24:02
  alone. We need that.
• 1:24:04
  We need that so that we can. Yeah.
• 1:24:07
  I just go in our relationship with him and even get to know
• 1:24:09
  who he is, you know, so. So there's a different aspects
• 1:24:12
  of Carmelite spirituality. So, yeah.
• 1:24:15
  So I love being a Carmelite. And then our particular
• 1:24:19
  Carmelite community, the Carmelite Sisters of the Most
• 1:24:22
  Sacred Heart of Los Angeles. So our charism, how we put it
• 1:24:26
  into words is we exist to stand in the presence of the living
• 1:24:30
  God and with Mary to make known to the world the love of the
• 1:24:34
  Sacred Heart of Jesus. So we have this immense
• 1:24:37
  privilege through our mother, foundress, Mother Lucita, who
• 1:24:40
  was Carmelite through and through, but who was given
• 1:24:43
  really this gift of healing love, really like this charism
• 1:24:48
  to bring healing love of the Sacred Heart into the world for
• 1:24:52
  so many people who are thirsting for the healing love of the
• 1:24:55
  Sacred Heart. So we first have to receive that
• 1:24:58
  though ourselves. And that's an ongoing thing,
• 1:25:00
  right? Like we talk about we all, we
• 1:25:02
  all go on as wounded healers. So we're, you know, we all, we
• 1:25:05
  receive our Lord's healing love. We all have those tender places
• 1:25:08
  of our hearts. And it's actually precisely
• 1:25:11
  through those places that are most tender in our own hearts.
• 1:25:15
  Sometimes those wounds that our Lord's healing love, eventually
• 1:25:19
  as he comes in more and more there can overflow from those
• 1:25:21
  places to help touch other people's hearts and bring them
• 1:25:24
  closer to Him. So it's a very unique, precious
• 1:25:28
  gift that we're given in our charism.
• 1:25:30
  Thank you for sharing that so beautifully.
• 1:25:32
  It's just very inspiring for to hear it and to receive it and to
• 1:25:37
  know that the world is given many graces through that charism
• 1:25:42
  and through your yes, through your vocation.
• 1:25:44
  Please, God, please. This is a kind of a maybe a
• 1:25:49
  funny thought, but it's one that I, I think about and I'm curious
• 1:25:54
  what you have to say compared to, let's say, religious life in
• 1:25:57
  the 1500s. Oh, OK.
• 1:26:00
  How is religious life different today?
• 1:26:02
  Oh, that's such a good question. My, I would say, well, I'm sure
• 1:26:08
  there are many things. I mean, even, I mean, obviously
• 1:26:10
  external aspects of it too. I'm sure one of the things that
• 1:26:14
  I can say that probably is very different, even just not even
• 1:26:17
  the 1500, But so let's even say like 50 years ago, you know, I
• 1:26:21
  would say that one thing that I see happening in the church
• 1:26:23
  right now, which is so beautiful, in which I know that
• 1:26:26
  I personally have been deeply blessed by my own religious
• 1:26:29
  family, is really how religious men and women are coming into
• 1:26:34
  this place of just greater freedom and embracing of their
• 1:26:39
  of, of their humanity. And actually what that looks
• 1:26:42
  like to be lived in an authentic way, integrated into this
• 1:26:46
  beautiful life, this beautiful, you know, gift of consecrated
• 1:26:49
  life. So yeah, there's AI think
• 1:26:52
  there's just AI don't know because it's not that religious
• 1:26:54
  like wasn't beautiful and good in the 1500s, but just through
• 1:26:57
  the years, right? Like a human anthropology, just
• 1:27:00
  like what we're coming to know about the human person through
• 1:27:02
  the Christian perspective and especially even just a Catholic
• 1:27:05
  perspective. I'm only thinking about John
• 1:27:06
  Paul, the second theology of the body, like just the richness and
• 1:27:09
  the beauty of all of that. I think just what we've learned
• 1:27:13
  about ourselves as human beings, you know, just who we are as
• 1:27:16
  human persons and understanding, you know, that Jesus became
• 1:27:20
  Incarnate, like he became a person in the flesh.
• 1:27:23
  And so there's just understanding the goodness of
• 1:27:26
  our body, the goodness of our humanity, the goodness of our
• 1:27:29
  whole person and that we bring all of that with us into our yes
• 1:27:33
  to him in consecrated life. And so, yeah.
• 1:27:37
  So I, I would say over these past several years, our
• 1:27:39
  community has undergone a more intensive healing journey.
• 1:27:42
  I would call it. We've been doing our community's
• 1:27:45
  been doing really hard work for a number of years before I ever
• 1:27:48
  even entered deeper work of just learning about like what is
• 1:27:52
  forgiveness like? How do we just like go deeper in
• 1:27:54
  forgiveness and be healed through that?
• 1:27:56
  How? Do we look?
• 1:27:58
  Anybody like each other, like just forgiveness, like
• 1:28:00
  forgiveness in community, forgiveness in the past that
• 1:28:03
  people who have heard us, so like years back, our sisters
• 1:28:06
  started really receiving beautiful formation in that what
• 1:28:10
  does communion really look like in religious life?
• 1:28:12
  Reconciliation amongst ourselves as sisters, you know, because so
• 1:28:17
  here's the thing, every religious family has a story.
• 1:28:19
  So just how we talk about like there are generational wounds
• 1:28:22
  and trauma that can get passed in natural families.
• 1:28:25
  Same thing can happen in a religious family.
• 1:28:27
  And so there are certain wounds and things, right, that can get
• 1:28:31
  passed along in a spiritual sense in a religious family
• 1:28:35
  because of so like, for example, our sisters undergoing that
• 1:28:37
  horrible bloody persecution, our sisters who came from Mexico
• 1:28:41
  into the United States literally like went through intense
• 1:28:44
  trauma, like intense. And so carrying that deep pain
• 1:28:48
  in their heart. And maybe at that time, not
• 1:28:49
  necessarily having the resources to know what to do with that,
• 1:28:51
  right. So, so in that, yeah.
• 1:28:55
  So some of those like maybe different ways of coping with
• 1:28:58
  that at that time, like some of those things start to inform a
• 1:29:00
  community culture or a community's way of responding to
• 1:29:03
  humanity or littleness or brokenness.
• 1:29:06
  And so in, I would say in more recent years, we've really as a
• 1:29:11
  community, yeah, our Lord the Holy Spirit just opened up a
• 1:29:17
  beautiful door for us in our community through our past few
• 1:29:20
  superior generals to look more deeply at our own inner healing
• 1:29:24
  journey, like individually and also together as a community, as
• 1:29:27
  sisters. And in more recent years, we've
• 1:29:29
  been deeply blessed to be able to utilize the resources of
• 1:29:32
  Doctor Bob Schutz and healing the whole person.
• 1:29:35
  Oh, he's phenomenal. He's like.
• 1:29:37
  We've got to have him out here in person.
• 1:29:38
  He came on the show remotely, like during COVID.
• 1:29:41
  Doctor Bob. He's become like our spiritual
• 1:29:43
  father of our sister. It's beautiful, so beautiful.
• 1:29:47
  His whole team, they're amazing. They're just, they're so
• 1:29:51
  amazing. And so our sisters have received
• 1:29:53
  so many riches and graces through that.
• 1:29:56
  And I just seen this blossoming and freedom and authenticity and
• 1:30:01
  even deeper joy in our sisters since we've all kind of taken
• 1:30:05
  that deep dive. It's really been incredible.
• 1:30:08
  It's been incredible. And the neat thing about it too
• 1:30:10
  is that as we start to utilize his particular tools, being able
• 1:30:14
  to see the already natural integration of that healing with
• 1:30:19
  Carmel, because Carmel is an interior journey.
• 1:30:22
  So I didn't talk about going into that, but one of the
• 1:30:24
  focuses of Carmelite prayer and spirituality is the dwelling of
• 1:30:27
  the Blessed Trinity and the soul that we have him with us always.
• 1:30:30
  And so we make this incredible interior journey, the interior
• 1:30:32
  castle, the Saint Teresa, she talks about that, the different
• 1:30:35
  mansions within. As we journey through those
• 1:30:38
  mansions and we go through these different seasons and stages in
• 1:30:42
  our prayer, we will necessarily encounter the parts of us that
• 1:30:46
  are wounded and need to be healed by the love of God,
• 1:30:48
  whether it's through past trauma, our own sins, whatever
• 1:30:51
  it is. And the Lord invites us into
• 1:30:54
  those places. So, but you read about this and
• 1:30:56
  Jonathan Cross and say Teresa of Avila, like Jonathan Cross talks
• 1:30:59
  about the healing of the memory. It's I mean, he does.
• 1:31:02
  So these are not things that are quote UN quote, brand new.
• 1:31:05
  These are. First therapist.
• 1:31:07
  Truly, and Oh my gosh, if you read the Fathers of the Church,
• 1:31:10
  Oh my, did they understand human psychology and the human person
• 1:31:13
  better than we can even realize. But Jonathan Cross for sure, and
• 1:31:17
  so does Saint Teresa of Avila. But all of those resources that
• 1:31:21
  we're utilizing now, they integrate so beautifully with
• 1:31:24
  our Carmelite spirituality. It's just giving us more tools
• 1:31:28
  to let the Holy Spirit continue to do deeper work so that we can
• 1:31:31
  hopefully be even freer vessels to pour out His love to the
• 1:31:35
  world. How much freedom do you have in
• 1:31:38
  your day-to-day decisions? You have your schedule that you
• 1:31:41
  keep. You shared?
• 1:31:42
  You have assignments. Definitely.
• 1:31:45
  That's a good question. OK, so the part of me where my
• 1:31:48
  brain first went actually when you asked that question was I'm
• 1:31:52
  thinking on the on the deeper level way, actually there's like
• 1:31:56
  a super intense freedom that's there because, you know, we made
• 1:31:59
  our vow of obedience. We did that in freedom.
• 1:32:02
  Nobody forced us to prostate, nobody forced us to, to make a
• 1:32:06
  vow of obedience to God through the hands of our legitimate
• 1:32:09
  superiors. Like that was a free gift of
• 1:32:12
  self that we offer to Christ, an imitation of his obedience to
• 1:32:16
  the Father. And so in our obedience, are
• 1:32:20
  there certain things that that we do follow in obedience, like
• 1:32:23
  our schedule and obviously certain things that we have to
• 1:32:26
  ask our superior for? Absolutely.
• 1:32:28
  But that's all a part of the valid life that we freely
• 1:32:31
  chosen. So but if you're talking about
• 1:32:33
  just like day-to-day, OK. So for example, if we're mission
• 1:32:38
  to serve in a particular apostolate, I don't need to ask
• 1:32:42
  for every single phone call I need to make or every person I
• 1:32:44
  need to contact. Like that would be, you know,
• 1:32:47
  there's no way to just freely serve.
• 1:32:49
  So I think I think it is a gift in our community.
• 1:32:53
  It comes with the maturity of obedience or realizing that
• 1:32:55
  we're all adult women. We're adult women who are
• 1:32:58
  entrusted with a mission by by our mother general, and then
• 1:33:01
  through the hands of our local superior.
• 1:33:03
  And so we have the freedom to serve and the way that we need
• 1:33:06
  to serve. And, you know, once you've lived
• 1:33:09
  a religious life for a number of years, you get a sense of the
• 1:33:10
  things that you should really be asking God's blessing for, like
• 1:33:13
  things that would be more extraordinary, sort of how we
• 1:33:15
  serve. So.
• 1:33:16
  And then those are the things that we're in dialogue with,
• 1:33:18
  again, as mature adult women, you know, Are you allowed to
• 1:33:21
  have a cell phone? Are there?
• 1:33:23
  OK, so I Yeah, so I do. Carry a cell phone, but our
• 1:33:27
  phones? Actually are not for they're
• 1:33:29
  technically not for personal use.
• 1:33:31
  So the phone belongs to the the family phone.
• 1:33:33
  It's Yeah, well, it belongs to the Apostolic position itself.
• 1:33:36
  So for example. I carry the.
• 1:33:38
  Phone right now that belongs to the vocation directors of the
• 1:33:41
  Carmelite Sisters. So if and when I get transferred
• 1:33:44
  out of this position into another positioning community,
• 1:33:47
  the phone will not come with me. It's like a work phone.
• 1:33:49
  Yeah, exactly. But you take it into your cell
• 1:33:51
  with you. Oh, that's a good.
• 1:33:53
  Question your cell is like your little apartment we actually
• 1:33:56
  normally. Don't so we do we we have a
• 1:33:58
  custom that we try to keep. Our phones outside of the.
• 1:34:00
  Cell especially at night every with a little Yeah our sisters
• 1:34:03
  all put their phones into the basket at night.
• 1:34:06
  Everybody should be doing this right.
• 1:34:08
  Yeah, so and does the phone have like e-mail?
• 1:34:11
  Texts like Do you have social? Media do you have news?
• 1:34:13
  YouTube we OK, so this is so I'm glad you're bringing all this
• 1:34:16
  stuff. It's actually really good.
• 1:34:18
  Interesting. No, it's really good.
• 1:34:20
  So our we're so we're, we're gosh, yeah, we're really blessed
• 1:34:23
  in our life. We don't.
• 1:34:26
  So our community Carmelite Sisters, which if you want to
• 1:34:29
  follow us, that's great. Carmelite Sisters has social
• 1:34:32
  media on behalf of the whole community.
• 1:34:34
  Sisters do not have individual social media accounts.
• 1:34:37
  So none of us have that just on our own.
• 1:34:41
  We typically don't just go and look up the news on our own
• 1:34:45
  either, just out of curiosity, just see everything that's going
• 1:34:48
  on. So we watch the news together in
• 1:34:50
  community once once a week usually.
• 1:34:52
  So we'll watch that together so we know what's going on in the
• 1:34:55
  world so we can pray. And we also know that if there
• 1:34:58
  are important things happening there, our superior will let us
• 1:34:59
  know so that we can pray as well.
• 1:35:01
  So yeah, like, just like scrolling on the Internet and
• 1:35:05
  things like that. That's not that is not a part of
• 1:35:08
  our life, right? It shouldn't be, right?
• 1:35:11
  Probably shouldn't be the part of anyone's life.
• 1:35:13
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:35:15
  We use those tools, so the. Goal, right?
• 1:35:17
  And again, we're human. Out of my life but haven't
• 1:35:19
  succeeded yet. It's hard.
• 1:35:21
  Well, and then here's the thing too, though, we recognize.
• 1:35:23
  We live. We live in this.
• 1:35:25
  World in this time right now and so there are certain tools that
• 1:35:29
  we do need to utilize in order to be able to minister to
• 1:35:32
  people. So yes, like our community is on
• 1:35:34
  social media because we want to bring to the healing love of the
• 1:35:36
  Sacred Heart to people and always right and always.
• 1:35:40
  So all of these things can be used for good.
• 1:35:43
  Yes, it's really as vocation directors, we go to different
• 1:35:45
  events like Seek, for example. Well, there's always, there's
• 1:35:48
  usually an app for big events like that.
• 1:35:50
  So we have the phone so we can get the app and we could do the
• 1:35:52
  registration and all those things and can get the boarding
• 1:35:56
  pass and we fly on the phone. I mean, you know, for things
• 1:35:59
  like that, we have texting for the sake of communication with
• 1:36:02
  each other, which is actually really helpful, especially when
• 1:36:04
  you're always travelling. You really do need that
• 1:36:07
  coordinating with so many people outside of community.
• 1:36:09
  So it's really unnecessary thing in that regard.
• 1:36:13
  So what does a cell look like? A Carmelite cell?
• 1:36:17
  Yes, yes. Good question.
• 1:36:20
  Our cells are very simple. There's a there's a simplicity
• 1:36:24
  and an austerity to a Carmelite cell because really it's meant
• 1:36:27
  to be a place of intimacy with the Lord.
• 1:36:31
  We go to be with him alone, the bridegroom, right?
• 1:36:33
  Not just a place where we sleep. So our cell has it's, we have
• 1:36:39
  like a little night stand, we call it.
• 1:36:41
  Yeah. So we call it a como Dita.
• 1:36:42
  It's a Mexican word for it. It's a little night stand.
• 1:36:45
  We have a simple bed that we sleep on, which consists of two
• 1:36:49
  saw horses and boards on top and then a mattress on top.
• 1:36:53
  So that's our Carmelite bed. And then there's a desk.
• 1:36:57
  You have a pillow. I do not a rock like I don't
• 1:37:05
  sleep on straw. It's a real.
• 1:37:06
  Mattress. So yeah, so we have a.
• 1:37:11
  Desk in our cell, we have a crucifix on the wall and below
• 1:37:17
  our crucifix we have there's a picture of Our Lady of Mount
• 1:37:19
  Carmel, a picture of Our Holy Mother Saint Teresa, and then
• 1:37:22
  Saint Joseph, who is the protector of Carmel.
• 1:37:25
  So he is a very special patron of Carmel Saint Joseph.
• 1:37:28
  Yes. And then one simple Carmelite
• 1:37:31
  maxim on the wall. So from a Carmelite St.
• 1:37:35
  And that's pretty much it. Do you get to pick the maxim?
• 1:37:38
  No. When you go the maxim, what does
• 1:37:40
  it say? So.
• 1:37:41
  Like it's like a phrase. What is the what is your quote
• 1:37:44
  that's on the wall of yourself? Oh, gosh.
• 1:37:46
  OK, so now you're testing me. I have to remember it's from
• 1:37:48
  Saint Therese. So it's oh.
• 1:37:50
  Saint Therese help me to remember it says something.
• 1:37:55
  It's basically about about recognizing our weakness and
• 1:38:01
  through our weakness, experiencing God's mercy.
• 1:38:04
  Beautiful. And so I read that every single
• 1:38:06
  day, multiple times. Where do you keep your habit?
• 1:38:09
  I'm. Sorry, we do have a little class
• 1:38:10
  where we can hit. Yeah, and you do have.
• 1:38:12
  Multiple habits I'm going to guess.
• 1:38:14
  Yeah, we do. And you do your own ironing.
• 1:38:15
  Where do you iron? Yeah, we do Our.
• 1:38:16
  Own we have a a room, a laundry room, a little and then a
• 1:38:20
  bathroom. You have the.
• 1:38:21
  Shared bathroom? I'm going to guess.
• 1:38:23
  And so are other sisters not allowed in each other's cells,
• 1:38:26
  correct. We don't go into each other's
• 1:38:28
  cells. That's right, right?
• 1:38:29
  Yeah. So it's like it's, you know
• 1:38:30
  that. It's like you're, it's like
• 1:38:32
  you're, it's literally where it's just for Jesus and me.
• 1:38:34
  It's meant to be sacred. Of me, yeah.
• 1:38:37
  And this is a very personal question, so you can either ask
• 1:38:40
  it for yourself if you're comfortable, or just ask it
• 1:38:42
  generally for what you understand how nuns or religious
• 1:38:45
  sisters might manage this. Do you ever experience romantic
• 1:38:50
  feelings and how do you handle that?
• 1:38:52
  Oh my goodness, that's such a good question.
• 1:38:54
  It's so human. Yeah, it's a.
• 1:38:56
  Good question. So I think it would be kind of
• 1:39:00
  strange if we went through our whole lives and never felt
• 1:39:02
  attracted to someone else, you know, because we're still human.
• 1:39:06
  So yeah. So are we going to feel
• 1:39:08
  attracted to someone sometimes? Well, sure, you're going to
• 1:39:10
  experience a natural, a natural attraction to someone.
• 1:39:14
  But I think The thing is, again, it's not something to be afraid
• 1:39:17
  of. It's something that we offer
• 1:39:19
  back to our Lord. I guess I would compare it
• 1:39:23
  really with, I mean, again, we're two different vocations
• 1:39:26
  with married people, you know, So I guess it's like, OK, but I
• 1:39:29
  could ask you the same question. No one.
• 1:39:31
  No one compares to my husband. I won't.
• 1:39:33
  I know. Of course.
• 1:39:33
  No one goes. Yeah.
• 1:39:35
  And I can imagine like it's the same you.
• 1:39:37
  No one versus Jesus, I mean. They don't.
• 1:39:40
  My husband's amazing. Jesus Christ, you know the Lord
• 1:39:43
  and. Obviously he's still the Lord of
• 1:39:44
  my heart as he is. Yours, but in a special way.
• 1:39:46
  You're espoused to him, Absolutely.
• 1:39:49
  Yeah. So I mean, yes, I think and
• 1:39:51
  probably most. Of our lives, like you're going
• 1:39:53
  to have people that you're attracted to.
• 1:39:55
  And we offer that back to the Lord, you know, And it's
• 1:39:58
  actually always a beautiful opportunity again to just renew
• 1:40:02
  the vows that we've already made to him.
• 1:40:04
  So beautiful. Yeah.
• 1:40:05
  Can sisters leave the convent if they change their mind?
• 1:40:10
  Yes, we actually can. We can you know, here's.
• 1:40:14
  The thing the church, again, I keep, I keep talking about what
• 1:40:19
  she's such a good mother and she's a very merciful mother.
• 1:40:22
  She's a very merciful mother. And I think the one thing that I
• 1:40:25
  want to say with regard to that is that we can't ever judge.
• 1:40:29
  I think sometimes that can be something that can be easy to
• 1:40:34
  fall into just in general where it's like, oh, like this person
• 1:40:38
  used to be a sister, but she left like she, you know, and
• 1:40:42
  then we start to make a story in her mind of why and what
• 1:40:46
  happened. And she didn't, she didn't
• 1:40:48
  persevere and she wasn't about all those things.
• 1:40:50
  The reality is that we can't, we can't even do that.
• 1:40:53
  There's a reason that the church allows religious to be dispensed
• 1:40:57
  of their vows, even if they've made perpetual vows.
• 1:41:00
  The thing is, we can we say forever in our heart and we
• 1:41:03
  absolutely mean that. We mean that and if you were to
• 1:41:08
  ask all the stories of those who have left, both men and women,
• 1:41:12
  priest, the priesthood, sisters leaving religious life.
• 1:41:16
  Every person has a story. Every person has a story.
• 1:41:20
  And I'm not saying that to excuse like sometimes really sad
• 1:41:24
  infidelities that have happened right when our Lord is calling
• 1:41:28
  us to to be totally his. But yeah, the, I mean, I think
• 1:41:33
  about what a good father our Father in heaven is.
• 1:41:36
  And he wants, he wants our gift of self.
• 1:41:39
  He wants our yes, in freedom. He wants it in freedom.
• 1:41:42
  He will never force US ever, ever, ever.
• 1:41:45
  He won't. And so, yeah.
• 1:41:47
  So if, if, if there are serious issues that sister is having in
• 1:41:51
  community, for whatever reason, something happens or whatever
• 1:41:55
  the circumstance, a sister, yeah, she can ask to be
• 1:41:58
  dispensed of her house. So what is the best part about
• 1:42:02
  being a nun? The very best thing?
• 1:42:06
  For myself, it's a lot of what I've already shared.
• 1:42:09
  With you, but just being Jesus's bride, you know, and knowing
• 1:42:15
  that he's he's totally got me in good times and in bad, you know,
• 1:42:19
  just being able to be his bride is is phenomenal.
• 1:42:22
  And honestly, as I think about that, I it's especially when you
• 1:42:26
  Start learning about it in the novitiate, we it's just so
• 1:42:30
  you're just so kind of awed by it because you think, wow, like
• 1:42:34
  the gift, the gift of this vocation and that it's something
• 1:42:37
  that I know with like every fiber of my being that I could
• 1:42:40
  not earn. Like this is not something that
• 1:42:43
  just the immense gift that it is.
• 1:42:44
  I know it's a gift. So I love being a spouse to
• 1:42:47
  Jesus. What's a specific way for you
• 1:42:49
  personally that Jesus has shown up for you?
• 1:42:52
  As your spouse or wooed you as his spouse.
• 1:42:58
  That's such a it's actually a really beautiful question.
• 1:43:02
  The first one that I would say, and I know this is a gift to the
• 1:43:07
  whole, to the whole church, to the Catholic Church, but really
• 1:43:11
  like so in the Holy Eucharist, the fact that in our life I can
• 1:43:15
  receive my bridegroom every single day.
• 1:43:17
  We go to Mass every single day as sisters and receive our
• 1:43:20
  bridegroom and Holy Communion. And that I mean, that's such an
• 1:43:25
  intimate exchange of love right there right after we profess our
• 1:43:30
  vows in the vows ceremony. So we profess our vows and then
• 1:43:34
  we receive Holy Communion right afterwards.
• 1:43:37
  And it's such an incredible moment, you know, of just of
• 1:43:39
  intimacy with the one that we've just given everything to our,
• 1:43:43
  our heart, our soul, our life, everything.
• 1:43:46
  So I would say that that's, that's an ongoing moment daily
• 1:43:50
  of deep, deeply being loved and seen and known and held by him,
• 1:43:55
  that moment of, of intimate communion with him in that way.
• 1:44:00
  Other times I can think of. So I think last year in
• 1:44:03
  particular, the Lord, there was some challenges, health
• 1:44:06
  challenges in particular, that came up for me.
• 1:44:08
  And I can tell you, Oh, my goodness, the way that I
• 1:44:13
  concretely experienced his love for me, going through everything
• 1:44:18
  that I went through. I've never experienced that in
• 1:44:21
  my life. It's so interesting.
• 1:44:23
  So, you know, yeah, I had to have surgery last year for the
• 1:44:28
  first time in my life, and I never, you know, so it's
• 1:44:31
  actually really scary. And yeah, our Lord actually was
• 1:44:36
  inviting me to walk into some of my deepest fears and having to
• 1:44:39
  go through that and just all the other things surrounding that.
• 1:44:44
  And I can tell you concretely how he showed up so powerfully
• 1:44:49
  like his. Oh my goodness, I can't even, I
• 1:44:51
  really can't even put it into words.
• 1:44:53
  But through the whole process, through the love and the care of
• 1:44:56
  the doctors and the nurses, through through praying with
• 1:45:00
  him, like just having that time of intimate prayer with him, and
• 1:45:03
  even in the moments of agony of fear, right?
• 1:45:05
  Like deep, just like human fear of not knowing what was going to
• 1:45:08
  happen and all of those different things.
• 1:45:11
  But his, his fidelity in his presence was off the charts.
• 1:45:15
  And he sends concrete, tangible signs of his love, you know, and
• 1:45:20
  it came actually at that time through so many different people
• 1:45:23
  who I know and love. But yes, I mean, it's he, he
• 1:45:28
  really shows up. That's all I can say.
• 1:45:30
  He really shows up. And it sounds like a funny
• 1:45:33
  example to use for being wooed, but it actually was because it
• 1:45:36
  was him showing me as my bridegroom.
• 1:45:39
  I know. Like, you really are my bride.
• 1:45:41
  And I really am here for you everything that you're going
• 1:45:45
  through and holding you and caring for you in a way that you
• 1:45:47
  can't even conceive of. And I, I experienced that in a
• 1:45:50
  profound way. So anyway, so yeah, I asked you,
• 1:45:55
  what's the best part about being a sister?
• 1:45:57
  What's the worst part about being a sister?
• 1:45:59
  Yeah. That's a.
• 1:46:00
  It's a kind of a funny question to answer, actually.
• 1:46:03
  There's no worst part there's I would say.
• 1:46:07
  Like what's the hardest part? The hardest part that's I'm
• 1:46:10
  going to rephrase it a little bit.
• 1:46:12
  That's fair because I really do love my vocation.
• 1:46:14
  Honestly, you know, I think obedience can be very
• 1:46:21
  challenging sometimes. Like I had told you before, we,
• 1:46:25
  it isn't freedom that we lay down our lives to the Lord.
• 1:46:28
  And when that starts to actually like concretely play out in our
• 1:46:32
  lives, that's when the rubber hits the road, right?
• 1:46:35
  It's like when we're we think and we pray and we think we know
• 1:46:38
  what's best for ourselves in the situation or whatever, you know,
• 1:46:44
  and something very different, you know, comes to us.
• 1:46:48
  And it can be a moment of like, whoa, OK, I wasn't expecting
• 1:46:52
  that, Lord. And in all honesty, at least for
• 1:46:55
  myself and obedience, like I don't always respond well.
• 1:46:58
  Like I'm, I'm human, you know, So sometimes my responses are
• 1:47:01
  not one of faith. You know, it's so easy to, I
• 1:47:04
  think just to stay on a human level with obedience because
• 1:47:06
  sometimes we just get stuck and we just see a person in front of
• 1:47:09
  us instead of remembering that our Lord's will is, is being
• 1:47:13
  mediated right for us through our superiors.
• 1:47:18
  You know, and again, like I mentioned with obedience, it's a
• 1:47:21
  mature obedience. So we're just blessed that like,
• 1:47:24
  yes, like especially for things that are important, like there's
• 1:47:26
  dialogue, you know, that can happen there.
• 1:47:28
  So it's not like it's just like, you know, you will do this and
• 1:47:32
  just blind obedience. And if we're things that are
• 1:47:35
  small, we actually should just have that kind of simple
• 1:47:37
  obedience. Like it doesn't, you know, to
• 1:47:39
  not. But yeah, I would say obedience
• 1:47:41
  is probably the hardest part for sure, because as you know, we
• 1:47:45
  all have our our human will and that's going to be the hardest
• 1:47:48
  one to tame for all of us for our Lord to bring our will and
• 1:47:52
  conformity with his. And that it does require a lot
• 1:47:55
  of dying to self letting go, sometimes actually painfully.
• 1:47:59
  I will say this too. And in a particular way, this
• 1:48:02
  can happen in religious life. But again, that's why faith is
• 1:48:05
  so important and trusting our Lord, trusting, trusting,
• 1:48:08
  trusting and renewing our trust because when it comes to our own
• 1:48:12
  hopes and plans and dreams. So we freely placed all of that
• 1:48:16
  into the hands of the Lord when we made our vows.
• 1:48:18
  And like, of course, we still have hopes and dreams as
• 1:48:22
  religious and we're people, you know, and we're supposed to.
• 1:48:26
  But like, let's say, even if we're entrusted with a project
• 1:48:29
  and we have a hope and we have a plan and a dream for that
• 1:48:32
  project that has been entrusted to us, and the final decision
• 1:48:36
  ends up turning it in a way that we never would have chosen.
• 1:48:39
  And it seems to us to be like maybe in my like in my mind,
• 1:48:43
  right, Like, Oh, that doesn't seem like the right to, you
• 1:48:45
  know, whatever. It sometimes really can be a big
• 1:48:48
  dying to self. And it's realizing, OK, Lord, I
• 1:48:51
  made that project mine and it and it actually was and it was
• 1:48:54
  yours. But he's always asking us to
• 1:48:56
  dream with him and to be willing to say into your hands, Father,
• 1:49:00
  you know, with whatever it is that he entrusts to us.
• 1:49:03
  And so that can be very difficult to the letting go.
• 1:49:06
  You know, you've shared some very beautiful spiritual
• 1:49:09
  practices that the Carmelites do.
• 1:49:12
  In the Carmelite tradition, what are some like a couple that you
• 1:49:16
  would recommend to everyday people who are not part of the
• 1:49:19
  Carmelites, but they want to add to their Pearl life or build a
• 1:49:24
  Pearl life? Absolutely.
• 1:49:26
  I would say actually the daily examine.
• 1:49:28
  I love that the. Relationship Examine Yes, yes,
• 1:49:32
  yes the relationship. Examine.
• 1:49:33
  Oh my goodness, what a treasure and.
• 1:49:35
  Actually, this isn't meant to be a plug, but we do have it on our
• 1:49:39
  website. So on the
• 1:49:41
  carmelitesistersocd.com, if you look it up, I think it might be
• 1:49:44
  under our spirituality. We are actually really blessed
• 1:49:47
  to have a beautiful website. Our team created a beautiful
• 1:49:49
  website and we have the examine prayer that we use as sisters
• 1:49:53
  and community on there. So, but it's a beautiful prayer
• 1:49:57
  and you don't have to take full 15 minutes.
• 1:49:59
  You can or you can actually take 1/2 hour to pray through if you
• 1:50:02
  want to use it more like a meditation.
• 1:50:03
  So I would definitely say the daily examine in some way, shape
• 1:50:06
  or form, even if it's just once at the end of the day,
• 1:50:09
  beautiful. So that prayer, the other. 1.
• 1:50:14
  I know not everyone can get to daily Mass for sure to be able
• 1:50:18
  to be close to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament me what a gift
• 1:50:21
  to receive him. So I'd highly, highly recommend
• 1:50:24
  that if you can. So yeah.
• 1:50:26
  So those would be those of you my talk to a Carmelite Sister
• 1:50:30
  will live with the same group of people for decades.
• 1:50:33
  How do they? Foster a healthy relationship
• 1:50:35
  with the people, with the people that you're you and they live
• 1:50:38
  with. Well, that's such a good
• 1:50:39
  question. So in US, for us, in our
• 1:50:42
  community, we have 120. Sisters and we have Carmelite
• 1:50:46
  convents in different parts of the United States.
• 1:50:48
  So yes, that's true that there are 120 of us.
• 1:50:51
  So at different parts of our journey will live with some of
• 1:50:54
  those sisters and different mixes of those sisters.
• 1:50:57
  But it's actually really beautiful because so sometimes,
• 1:51:00
  let's say for a stretch of years, you might live with the
• 1:51:03
  same group of sisters for a few years and then you get
• 1:51:05
  reassigned or transferred to a different caramel and then
• 1:51:08
  you'll get a different group of sisters still within our family.
• 1:51:11
  So, yeah, so there's actually a really beautiful element in that
• 1:51:14
  regard of getting to know all of our sisters in a deeper way with
• 1:51:17
  whoever you're assigned to for that year or stretch of year.
• 1:51:19
  So it's a gift regarding healthy relationships.
• 1:51:23
  My goodness, yes, I feel like that's something in religious
• 1:51:27
  life. And if I can even say in our
• 1:51:29
  community in particular that we've been so deeply blessed
• 1:51:32
  with and receiving rich, rich and beautiful tools to be able
• 1:51:38
  to foster healthy relationships and community.
• 1:51:41
  And I would say honestly, gosh, vulnerability based trust.
• 1:51:47
  So OK, so our community, we love Org health, organizational
• 1:51:51
  health. So Pat Lincioni developed the
• 1:51:54
  org health model. We've been engaging with
• 1:51:57
  organizational health reps So cool Pat Shout out to we love
• 1:52:00
  you Pat. We love you, Pat.
• 1:52:02
  We love we. Do we actually do?
• 1:52:03
  Love has helped me for years and was hugely influential for live.
• 1:52:07
  Action a decade ago and Tommy. So much that's phenomenal.
• 1:52:10
  And then what? His CEO has been on our board as
• 1:52:12
  a dear friend and they've just been amazing.
• 1:52:14
  That's. Awesome, but he's.
• 1:52:15
  Like, Oh my gosh, yeah. Helping the Carmelites.
• 1:52:18
  Oh, a number of religious. Communities so he and the
• 1:52:20
  different consultants that he's worked with, we've worked with
• 1:52:23
  for a number of years for organizational health and that
• 1:52:27
  in combination actually with healing the whole person is
• 1:52:32
  really what has enabled us to to be so free I think in community.
• 1:52:38
  But it's so if you learn those principles of organizational
• 1:52:40
  health as you know them, so you have vulnerability based trust
• 1:52:43
  is the, the foundational part of that pyramid when you're trying
• 1:52:47
  to create a cohesive team or family.
• 1:52:50
  So for us, it's, it's a family, you know, And so if we can work
• 1:52:54
  on that piece of the vulnerability based trust, which
• 1:52:57
  means that it's not that I undiscerningly share everything,
• 1:53:01
  right? It's not that, but vulnerability
• 1:53:03
  based trust is hard because it does require being exposed in
• 1:53:07
  ways that are going to be uncomfortable sometimes, you
• 1:53:09
  know, and what I can tell you is that in our in our religious
• 1:53:12
  family, in the caramels, in the years that we've been able to
• 1:53:15
  really do that and to let ourselves be seen in some deep
• 1:53:19
  places. Oh my goodness, like it does
• 1:53:21
  bring so much freedom and it it actually gives the sisters a
• 1:53:26
  greater freedom to just keep growing together, you know, and
• 1:53:31
  there's a sense of being known, you know, so it's vulnerability
• 1:53:35
  based stress. And I would also say too, that
• 1:53:37
  we have to like the healthy conflict, right?
• 1:53:39
  So we have to be able to be free to have healthy conflicts in
• 1:53:44
  community too, and learning what that looks like and being able
• 1:53:47
  to talk things out of sisters. And so in our community, we have
• 1:53:49
  our own specific avenues of being able to do that.
• 1:53:52
  And, and there's always the, the one-on-one conversations that if
• 1:53:56
  you just need to talk something out to your sister with your
• 1:53:57
  sister, you go and you talk to her.
• 1:54:01
  And so we when we're looking at the the conflicts, is this
• 1:54:05
  continuum of conflict. I don't know if you're familiar
• 1:54:07
  with it, but on one side there is artificial harmony.
• 1:54:11
  OK, so it can it, it can be a temptation to want to live in
• 1:54:16
  that. I would say probably more in
• 1:54:17
  religious life where, you know, if we can sometimes want to
• 1:54:20
  smile and say yes, sister, maybe like underneath they're like,
• 1:54:24
  I'm going to kill you, you know, but anyway, just kidding.
• 1:54:27
  But we do get upset with each other.
• 1:54:30
  So but but so we. Want to move away?
• 1:54:33
  From this artificial harmony thing where like everything's OK
• 1:54:36
  and we're not actually saying things directly to each other
• 1:54:39
  and also not moving into the side.
• 1:54:41
  We're like, we're just like letting loose in ways that are
• 1:54:43
  just not healthy. So.
• 1:54:45
  So anyway, yeah. So the vulnerability based trust
• 1:54:47
  the the conflict and then of course, it just it helps us to
• 1:54:51
  move towards greater communion, you know, as a religious family.
• 1:54:54
  So did you have Pat Lindsay when he come or you're just saying
• 1:54:56
  you did some of the trainings with some of his team?
• 1:54:58
  No, we do. We know.
• 1:54:59
  Pat really. Well, We know Pat really well.
• 1:55:01
  So fun. Yeah.
• 1:55:02
  So Pat and. His and some consultants that
• 1:55:04
  work with him. So have you met Cody Thompson?
• 1:55:08
  I you know what? I haven't.
• 1:55:10
  Not No, I haven't. Personally, yeah, I listen to
• 1:55:13
  their. Podcast though, yeah, they're
• 1:55:15
  great. They are if someone doesn't know
• 1:55:18
  how to. Pray, how should they start?
• 1:55:20
  Oh. What a good question, the best
• 1:55:25
  way? That I would answer that is, I
• 1:55:31
  think honestly just learning to just just to talk to God from
• 1:55:35
  your heart, because prayer is meant to be a conversation with
• 1:55:40
  the Lord. And at its just this most basic
• 1:55:43
  level, it's an it's an ongoing heart to heart.
• 1:55:46
  Even when Saint Teresa of Avila talks about it, she talks about,
• 1:55:48
  you know, mental prayer is nothing more than a heart to
• 1:55:50
  heart sharing with between friends, like we're sharing her
• 1:55:53
  heart with him who we know loves us.
• 1:55:55
  So I would say if someone has no clue where to start, you know,
• 1:55:58
  of course there there are vocal prayers that you can learn how
• 1:56:01
  to pray and instead of just kind of repeating them wrote like
• 1:56:04
  sometimes we have a tendency to do, to pray them slowly and just
• 1:56:07
  listen to the words that you're saying.
• 1:56:09
  So that would be one thing too with the vocal prayers.
• 1:56:11
  But honestly, I think just sharing from your heart, like
• 1:56:14
  what's bothering you? What's bringing you joy today?
• 1:56:17
  Telling the Lord about that, What's making you sad?
• 1:56:19
  What are you struggling with? Where do you need Him to show
• 1:56:22
  up? I mean, really just being very
• 1:56:24
  open the way that we would with somebody that we're close with,
• 1:56:28
  you know, and if you have no prayer life at all, it can feel
• 1:56:31
  a little awkward in the beginning.
• 1:56:32
  It can feel very awkward. So whether you're doing that
• 1:56:35
  interiorly, like in the silence of your heart, whether it's
• 1:56:38
  journaling, that's another good way to get started where like
• 1:56:41
  you just start journaling to the Lord, you know, just writing to
• 1:56:44
  him everything that's in your heart.
• 1:56:46
  But I think the important piece though, is even in the very
• 1:56:49
  beginning stages of learning to pray, which scripture can be
• 1:56:52
  another big help as well. Sacred Scripture is so huge in
• 1:56:55
  prayer, but even in the beginning stages, if, if we are
• 1:57:00
  sharing our heart with the Lord, we're pouring our heart out to
• 1:57:02
  him, we're journaling, it's really important to take time
• 1:57:06
  afterwards to just be quiet. And that's the most awkward
• 1:57:10
  part, I think in the beginning when you're learning to pray
• 1:57:13
  because sometimes people are not just like, well, what do I do?
• 1:57:16
  Am I doing it right? You know, my brain's so
• 1:57:18
  distracted and that's normal. That happens to all of us,
• 1:57:21
  especially in the beginning stages.
• 1:57:23
  Saint Theresa Valvola talks about it with her 4 Waters of
• 1:57:26
  Prayer and she, she gives the analogy of how it when we're
• 1:57:29
  first learning to pray, it's like someone with a bucket.
• 1:57:32
  So you're trying to water your garden.
• 1:57:33
  So the garden of our soul, that's another beautiful
• 1:57:35
  Carmelites visual analogy that our soul is like this beautiful
• 1:57:38
  garden where God himself dwells and comes to take his delight.
• 1:57:42
  And so we're trying to tend this garden within and union with
• 1:57:45
  him. And so we want to water the
• 1:57:47
  garden of our soul with prayer, with his grace, his presence.
• 1:57:51
  So in the beginning we were trying to pray.
• 1:57:52
  It's like we take our bucket and we walk.
• 1:57:54
  We have to walk all the way over to the well from our garden.
• 1:57:56
  And then we got to lower the bucket.
• 1:57:58
  And then you pull the bucket back up and then you got to walk
• 1:58:00
  all the way back with your bucket.
• 1:58:01
  And by the time you get to your garden, half the water like
• 1:58:03
  splashes out. You know, it can feel like that
• 1:58:06
  with prayer in the beginning can feel very arduous, but the key
• 1:58:09
  is to stick with it. Don't give up.
• 1:58:12
  And Saint Teresa of Ava talks about that, how that's the one
• 1:58:14
  fatal error is when people give up on prayer.
• 1:58:18
  Because the reality is that it's going to feel like that for all
• 1:58:21
  of us, like all of us sometimes Carmelite sisters, we all go
• 1:58:25
  through that. Everybody goes through that.
• 1:58:27
  But you, it's, it's the consistency that's key.
• 1:58:30
  So, so, yeah. So I would say sharing your
• 1:58:33
  heart openly and honestly with the Lord and making sure you're
• 1:58:35
  taking a little quiet time afterwards to to let him
• 1:58:38
  respond. The other thing too, one of our
• 1:58:41
  sisters shared this how when she was first learning to pray,
• 1:58:44
  someone gave her this advice and it worked beautifully for her.
• 1:58:47
  Our Lord really showed up in some powerful ways.
• 1:58:49
  But to ask him questions in prayer and and wait, very
• 1:58:52
  powerful and wait for an answer. Ask a specific question, ask a
• 1:58:55
  specific question and he will answer.
• 1:58:58
  He does answer, He answers. So Yep, and you can always the
• 1:59:04
  general question of Lord, what do you want me to hear right
• 1:59:06
  now? Yes, or Lord.
• 1:59:08
  What name do you call me? Oh, that's so beautiful, that
• 1:59:11
  one. He shows up very quickly.
• 1:59:13
  Yes, he will. Mm.
• 1:59:14
  Hmm. Yeah, 'cause he has.
• 1:59:15
  Something special that he calls each one of us in.
• 1:59:17
  Fair. Yeah.
• 1:59:19
  It's really, really beautiful. But yeah.
• 1:59:20
  So the questions could be another powerful way to hear his
• 1:59:23
  voice. Did you ask him for your name?
• 1:59:26
  Sister Maria Goretti of the Sacred Heart I did ask for.
• 1:59:29
  This name I did, but like you asked him what is my name?
• 1:59:33
  And this is the name you received?
• 1:59:34
  Well, no, I didn't actually. I didn't ask him that question.
• 1:59:36
  He just. Told it to me it.
• 1:59:38
  Just came in. Well, sort of in prayer, but it
• 1:59:40
  was a prayerful moment. Yeah.
• 1:59:43
  I didn't grow up with a devotion of Saint Marie Gretti at all, in
• 1:59:46
  fact, I mean, I'd heard her story.
• 1:59:47
  Yeah. Tell us briefly what happened.
• 1:59:49
  Yeah. So.
• 1:59:50
  So I had heard her story. I was always.
• 1:59:52
  Very deeply impressed and moved. By her story, because it's so
• 1:59:54
  powerful, I mean just her, her act of martyrdom, of course, and
• 2:00:00
  defense of her purity, but even more so her forgiveness and her
• 2:00:03
  mercy of him to forgive him before she died.
• 2:00:07
  And then to say, and I want him to be in heaven with me.
• 2:00:10
  So she was this little girl, 11 years old.
• 2:00:13
  What year roughly was it? Do you?
• 2:00:14
  Know she died in 19-O2. She was fatherless.
• 2:00:18
  Yeah, her dad died. Dad.
• 2:00:19
  Died a bunch of siblings. Yes, fairly destitute.
• 2:00:23
  They're trying to hold mother's. Trying to hold it together.
• 2:00:25
  She was really helping out. Oh, yes, And there was a servant
• 2:00:28
  man, you know, older boy, kind of in.
• 2:00:31
  It was late teens, right? Alessandro, I think he was 18.
• 2:00:33
  He was 18. He was helping.
• 2:00:35
  He was supposed to be helping out he and his father.
• 2:00:37
  He and the Father, and then He. Attempted to sexually assault
• 2:00:40
  Maria, Yes. Correct.
• 2:00:42
  Yeah. Well, first he was trying to,
• 2:00:44
  like, deduce her. And she's like, no.
• 2:00:46
  Way. And then he turned into.
• 2:00:48
  Into assault and she rejected his advances and he tried to
• 2:00:52
  stab her to death. Yeah, he did.
• 2:00:53
  Yeah. And he, he told her if you don't
• 2:00:55
  give in, I'm going to kill you. And she wouldn't.
• 2:00:57
  And so he did. He stabbed her 14 times.
• 2:01:00
  Yep. And she ended up dying in the
• 2:01:02
  hospital afterwards, I think it was the next day or a couple of
• 2:01:05
  days later. So yeah, she has a really
• 2:01:08
  powerful story. But she forgave him from the
• 2:01:09
  hospital before she died. She did.
• 2:01:11
  A priest came to visit her and. Asked her do you forgive him?
• 2:01:15
  And she said. Yes, I forgive him.
• 2:01:16
  I think one thing about that story that is a little bit
• 2:01:20
  controversial. Today is this idea that if you
• 2:01:24
  are because this, this, this comes up a lot, you know, sexual
• 2:01:26
  assault, rape, it happened. It's horrific.
• 2:01:29
  And this idea that if you don't fight to the death against your
• 2:01:32
  attacker, somehow you're not pure.
• 2:01:36
  Because this is this is, I've heard, Maria.
• 2:01:39
  Goretti kind of be. Almost St.
• 2:01:42
  Maria be for some assault victims kind of confusing
• 2:01:46
  because they feel like, well, I didn't fight till the death.
• 2:01:48
  I'm alive. And so there's sort of a guilt
• 2:01:52
  that some abuse survivors. May feel.
• 2:01:55
  Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and yeah. That's not, I mean, that's,
• 2:02:01
  that's not the message obviously of her life.
• 2:02:04
  I actually think the more important part for her story.
• 2:02:07
  I mean, yes, like she fought very strongly and very bravely,
• 2:02:12
  but I think the reality of abuse is so complex.
• 2:02:15
  It's so complex, truly, you know, I, I think of all the
• 2:02:19
  horrible stories and deep suffering of so many women when
• 2:02:23
  it comes to something like that that's so tender, that is not
• 2:02:26
  their fault, was not their fault because he could have still
• 2:02:30
  succeeded in assaulting her, in raping her.
• 2:02:33
  And she would have still been a St.
• 2:02:35
  It's I think that's where I think that's where it gets a
• 2:02:38
  little misplaced. Is like she's considered the
• 2:02:39
  Saint of purity because she like fended off a rapist.
• 2:02:43
  No, that's not really it. It's that she was wholly
• 2:02:47
  dedicated to God and ultimately too, that she forgave him.
• 2:02:50
  Correct, because forgiveness was really a part of the, you know,
• 2:02:55
  holiness, a significant part of her holiness.
• 2:02:57
  Well, and that is the purity of love right there.
• 2:03:00
  So that's the purity. So she's.
• 2:03:02
  A patron St. of purity, I mean yes, a physical chastity as
• 2:03:06
  well, like especially for I know she's often the patron St. of
• 2:03:09
  young people, right? Like whenever they're in
• 2:03:11
  situations where they have the freedom to choose right, like to
• 2:03:14
  choose to choose chastity. But the exactly what she said,
• 2:03:20
  Yep, she forgave him. She still forgave him.
• 2:03:23
  And it was her heroic act of virtue in forgiveness that shows
• 2:03:27
  forth the purity of her love. Because it was realizing that in
• 2:03:32
  that moment, even as he was attacking her, she was, she was
• 2:03:35
  literally caring more about his soul.
• 2:03:37
  That's what she cared about. She was caring about his soul
• 2:03:41
  more than herself in her own physical life.
• 2:03:43
  Like she was worried about him getting to heaven is actually
• 2:03:46
  what she was worried about. And the same thing in her last
• 2:03:49
  moments of life when she forgave him for that atrocity.
• 2:03:55
  That's what she said. It was her mercy.
• 2:03:56
  And she said I forgive him and I want him to be with me in
• 2:03:58
  heaven. So it was the purity of her love
• 2:04:02
  and her merciful, merciful heart towards him.
• 2:04:05
  If somebody wants to become a religious sister, what should
• 2:04:07
  they do? Good question.
• 2:04:10
  Well, I would say before anything else, pray.
• 2:04:15
  Talk to our Lord about that first and spend, spend a lot of
• 2:04:18
  time with him in prayer because really it's our Lord who invites
• 2:04:21
  and to just be totally open and surrendered to whatever it is
• 2:04:24
  that he wants to tell us about what he's created us for.
• 2:04:27
  So that'd be the first thing to develop a strong prayer life.
• 2:04:31
  It's silence to like that silent heart to heart with him
• 2:04:34
  consistently. I would say get a spiritual
• 2:04:37
  director, a solid spiritual director who can be someone to
• 2:04:40
  walk with you and that discernment process and to be
• 2:04:43
  able to point out God's grace along the way and how our Lord
• 2:04:45
  might be leading there and to give, you know, more practical
• 2:04:48
  guidance along the way. Yes.
• 2:04:52
  And then when the time is right, if and when the Lord, if he's
• 2:04:56
  continuing to open the door, when the time is right to reach
• 2:04:58
  out to a religious community to just talk to a sister, you know,
• 2:05:03
  or go to an event where there are religious sisters that, you
• 2:05:06
  know, you can just sort of be around them, talk to them, ask
• 2:05:09
  questions about their life, learn about them, see that
• 2:05:12
  they're normal people. So, yeah, those are just a few
• 2:05:15
  things, but beautiful. And how can people find you and
• 2:05:20
  the Carmelites? The Carmelite Sisters, so we are
• 2:05:23
  online as I mentioned, so our website.
• 2:05:26
  Carmelitesistersocd.com And if you go into our website, you can
• 2:05:31
  learn a lot, especially about our mother, foundress, Mother
• 2:05:33
  Luisita. There's so much to learn about
• 2:05:35
  her and her beautiful story. So you can learn a lot about
• 2:05:39
  mother, about our sisters, our works, where we serve, all of
• 2:05:43
  that. So I would say go online to our
• 2:05:45
  website. Amazing.
• 2:05:46
  And Are you ready to line dance? I'm ready, I'm excited.
• 2:05:50
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• 2:05:55
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• 2:05:58
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