Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / It's Supposed to Be Fun

Transcript

It's Supposed to Be Fun · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

0:10
Speaker 1: Warning. The following episode contains adult language discussion of miracles,
0:13
Speaker 1: arranged marriages, chanting tatum, and disclosure of at least one
0:16
Speaker 1: Bible approof stoning. Sensitive listeners. Take care.
0:36
Speaker 2: So here's a confession I'm going to make right at
0:38
Speaker 2: the top of the show. I don't believe in astrology,
0:42
Speaker 2: but astrology keeps happening to me.
0:45
Speaker 3: Now.
0:45
Speaker 2: Everyone says podcasting is the most visual medium, So I
0:50
Speaker 2: made you a slide show to try to explain. This
0:53
Speaker 2: is the real skyline drive. It's in Delaware, and growing
0:57
Speaker 2: up when I couldn't sleep, it's one of the many
1:00
Speaker 2: places I would drive to look at the stars. This
1:03
Speaker 2: is the moon. It rules our emotions. This is mercury
1:07
Speaker 2: in retrograde. You know it because it makes life miserable.
1:11
Speaker 2: This is Rahu and k Thu. They're important and mischievous
1:14
Speaker 2: nodes in Vedaic astrology. They're prominent in Donald Trump's horoscope,
1:18
Speaker 2: and they're also responsible for Paris Hiltan. This is me.
1:22
Speaker 2: I was born May first, nineteen seventy nine. This is
1:26
Speaker 2: the sky at the time I was born. In Western astrology,
1:29
Speaker 2: it makes me a Taurus. These are some other tauruses,
1:33
Speaker 2: polepot I, Toolo, Komeni, Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, Barbara Streisan.
1:39
Speaker 2: The fact that we're all tauruses has made me doubt
1:41
Speaker 2: astrology for a very long time. These are my parents.
1:45
Speaker 2: They've been hitched fifty one years and every morning my
1:48
Speaker 2: dad makes my mom a cup of tea and then
1:51
Speaker 2: they sit and do the spelling, be and pencil. It's adorable, right,
1:55
Speaker 2: These are my parents calling in the middle of this recording, Si, Magisha,
1:59
Speaker 2: I thank you. It's going calling back. Give me a club.
2:02
Speaker 2: This is India when I was growing up, where it's
2:05
Speaker 2: like yoga and meditation and turmeric and astrology. These are
2:09
Speaker 2: words that were part of my Indian life, but they
2:12
Speaker 2: weren't a part of my going to school fitting into
2:14
Speaker 2: America one. But now now everyone has an opinion about it.
2:19
Speaker 2: I'm a Gemini, which I've heard is bad.
2:21
Speaker 4: I'm a Libra, so I'm indecisive.
2:23
Speaker 5: That's definitely true.
2:26
Speaker 2: I'm a tourust.
2:26
Speaker 1: I find it starts to be beautiful.
2:28
Speaker 2: It sucks that we can't see your starts in New
2:29
Speaker 2: York because all the lights.
2:31
Speaker 6: I know a few people who are kind of into it,
2:33
Speaker 6: and they like ask, yo, do you see the horoscope today?
2:35
Speaker 6: And I'm like, nah, bro, not really, I'm not worried
2:37
Speaker 6: about what the horoscope says.
2:39
Speaker 4: I know a lot of people don't believe in it,
2:41
Speaker 4: but why can't people just believe in things for fun,
2:43
Speaker 4: Like it doesn't have to be backed up by anything.
2:45
Speaker 7: But if you believe in fantasy football, why can't you
2:47
Speaker 7: believe in astrology.
2:49
Speaker 2: A few months ago, my friends and I set out
2:50
Speaker 2: to make this show about astrology. We wanted to run
2:53
Speaker 2: around the city and have some wild adventures and understand
2:56
Speaker 2: why after so many millennia, people still look to the
3:00
Speaker 2: sky for answers. This is an astrologer I met in
3:03
Speaker 2: Queen's He promised me you're going to dig this show.
3:06
Speaker 8: I think if you do your own show, he'll become
3:08
Speaker 8: a super hit, no doubt about it.
3:12
Speaker 2: This is a graph of how much I believed in
3:14
Speaker 2: astrology before our session. Not that much. This is a
3:18
Speaker 2: graph of how much I started believing thirty minutes later
3:21
Speaker 2: when something horrible he said came true.
3:25
Speaker 8: That's why I asked again. From the time it started
3:28
Speaker 8: a couple of years back till now, the situation doesn't
3:31
Speaker 8: look good.
3:33
Speaker 2: This is me traveling halfway around the world to answer
3:36
Speaker 2: the biggest question my entire life. This is a shop
3:39
Speaker 2: in India where your fortune is waiting for you. It
3:41
Speaker 2: was written centuries ago and put on a shelf, and
3:44
Speaker 2: the shopkeepers know which one to pull because it's coated
3:46
Speaker 2: by your thumbprint and the time you're going to walk
3:49
Speaker 2: through that door. This, this is me walking through that door.
3:57
Speaker 2: I'm Mungi's articular from Kaleidoscope and iHeartRadio. This is Skyline Drive,
4:38
Speaker 2: chapter one. Leave your axe at home.
4:46
Speaker 6: So I figured, you know, I do need to soone
4:49
Speaker 6: an astrologer, and there are a bunch of astrologers on
4:52
Speaker 6: the Upper West Side who have set off with these.
4:54
Speaker 2: Wait till you're looking for an astrologer to zone.
4:57
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, well I need to check it off the list.
5:02
Speaker 6: I've got one.
5:03
Speaker 2: Hundred, you know already, this reporting and starting off weirder
5:06
Speaker 2: than I thought. It's ten o'clock on a bright summer
5:08
Speaker 2: day and I'm standing here with Ajjacobs.
5:11
Speaker 6: I am an author and a journalist and a pisces.
5:15
Speaker 2: In addition to being a pisces or technically on the
5:18
Speaker 2: cusp of Pisces and ares. AJ's a friend and he's
5:21
Speaker 2: one of my favorite writers. I've come to meet him
5:23
Speaker 2: in this neighborhood, because in two thousand and seven he
5:25
Speaker 2: wrote a New York Times bestseller called The Year of
5:28
Speaker 2: Living Biblically. The book was a phenomenon. It came out
5:32
Speaker 2: in multiple languages, there were magazine and TV pieces about it.
5:35
Speaker 2: It was such a big deal that at one point
5:38
Speaker 2: Marlon Wayns was lined up to play AJ in the
5:40
Speaker 2: Network TV version.
5:42
Speaker 6: The premise was that I would follow all the rules
5:46
Speaker 6: of the Bible as literally as possible, So that meant
5:49
Speaker 6: the famous ones like the Ten Commandments and love your neighbor,
5:52
Speaker 6: but also the lesser known ones like you cannot wear
5:57
Speaker 6: clothes made of two different kinds of fabrics, so I
6:00
Speaker 6: had to get rid of all of my polycotton blends.
6:03
Speaker 2: Giving up polycotton blends is just one of the hardships
6:06
Speaker 2: Aga endured in the name of journalism. He also grew
6:09
Speaker 2: a massive beard, shoved wild birds so he could steal
6:12
Speaker 2: its egg and say a prayer on it. And he
6:14
Speaker 2: followed seven hundred other Biblical rules literally in an attempt
6:18
Speaker 2: to understand religion. And somewhere along the way he decided
6:22
Speaker 2: that to fully appreciate the Bible.
6:23
Speaker 6: You actually had to stone people who committed these abominations,
6:28
Speaker 6: and the abominations include adultera, breaking the Sabbath, but also astrology, witchcraft, divination,
6:37
Speaker 6: they're all sort of lumped together.
6:39
Speaker 2: Just the fact that he decided to stone someone was
6:42
Speaker 2: a shock to me. I mean, Aj is one of
6:44
Speaker 2: the nicest people I know, but that's how committed he was.
6:48
Speaker 6: I didn't want to go to jail for assault. I
6:51
Speaker 6: just wanted to check it off my list, you know,
6:53
Speaker 6: stone and astrologer check. So I walked by this astrologer
6:58
Speaker 6: on the street and just very subtly dropped the pebble
7:03
Speaker 6: so that it landed on her.
7:05
Speaker 2: Shoe, kind of a drive by stoning.
7:08
Speaker 6: And I was thinking, she's probably not even gonna notice
7:11
Speaker 6: because I just kept walking. Oh she noticed, and she's like,
7:16
Speaker 6: what's going on? Why did you do that? And so
7:20
Speaker 6: I had to tell the truth. Because I was following
7:22
Speaker 6: the Bible. I thought maybe she'll think it's funny. She
7:25
Speaker 6: did not think it's funny.
7:26
Speaker 2: She was pissed.
7:27
Speaker 6: She started yelling at me, like, f you go to
7:31
Speaker 6: f and hell I was rattled. Even if you're trying
7:34
Speaker 6: to stone someone in modern day using pebbles, people don't
7:38
Speaker 6: like it. Well, that's a lesson.
7:39
Speaker 2: That's a takeaway rule number one, don't stone an astrologer.
7:45
Speaker 2: It wasn't the advice I'd come for, but I wrote
7:48
Speaker 2: it down anyway. But the thing I really wanted to know.
7:51
Speaker 2: The reason I traveled all the way out here to
7:54
Speaker 2: meet with AJ was to ask him how to make
7:56
Speaker 2: the show, because doing the show in astrology it actually
8:00
Speaker 2: makes me nervous, like, is there a way to talk
8:04
Speaker 2: about how accurate a fortune telling parrot could possibly be?
8:08
Speaker 2: Or is there a way to joke about whether an
8:10
Speaker 2: astro curse can make you bald? Because even if the
8:14
Speaker 2: show makes me look silly, like I don't want to
8:17
Speaker 2: get disinvited from a family wedding because I said something
8:21
Speaker 2: that hurt friends or family or really anyone who puts
8:25
Speaker 2: stock in these subjects. As I'm trying to uncover threads
8:28
Speaker 2: and things like how do you tell a story delicately
8:31
Speaker 2: where you're not offending people but still engaging with all
8:34
Speaker 2: the subject.
8:35
Speaker 6: I have that exact dilemma when I was writing The
8:39
Speaker 6: Year of Living Biblically, because I was coming in as
8:43
Speaker 6: an agnostic writing about religion. My big overall advice is
8:49
Speaker 6: go in with deep curiosity. Don't go in with an
8:53
Speaker 6: agenda that you're trying to disprove or prove astrology. You're
8:57
Speaker 6: just an explorer, So go in like with no acts.
9:02
Speaker 6: Leave your axes at home.
9:04
Speaker 2: That I think I can do. After the break, we
9:10
Speaker 2: talked to an astrologer who doesn't believe in astrology. Take
9:13
Speaker 2: a subway ride to Queen's and hear this from my mom.
9:17
Speaker 4: I felt like a josic though.
9:37
Speaker 2: Chapter two, just for funds.
9:42
Speaker 4: Is the phone listening?
9:43
Speaker 2: Is that?
9:43
Speaker 4: Are you listening through the phone?
9:44
Speaker 2: Pattern?
9:45
Speaker 8: AI?
9:45
Speaker 2: The algorithm?
9:46
Speaker 8: That is the pattern?
9:47
Speaker 2: Back in twenty twenty, one of my friends shot me
9:49
Speaker 2: a text linking to this video of Channing Tatum. The
9:52
Speaker 2: actor had uploaded it himself after using an astrology app
9:56
Speaker 2: called the Pattern, But when Channing's readings became a little
9:59
Speaker 2: two spot on, he freaked out.
10:01
Speaker 4: Are you listening through my phone?
10:03
Speaker 2: And then just regurgitating the stuff that I'm afraid of?
10:05
Speaker 5: And the stuff? You know what?
10:07
Speaker 8: Pattern? People?
10:08
Speaker 4: You should just call me.
10:09
Speaker 2: I need answers right now, poor Channing. I don't know
10:13
Speaker 2: if he ever got his answers, but what I do
10:15
Speaker 2: know is that astrology is ubiquitous and lucrative. One venture
10:21
Speaker 2: capital investor told The New York Times that the app
10:23
Speaker 2: co star this pattern competitor had the potential to be
10:27
Speaker 2: a twenty four billion dollar business, claiming it could one
10:31
Speaker 2: day be as big as Spotify. But if astrology is
10:35
Speaker 2: as big an opportunity as everyone's saying, I'm wondering if
10:38
Speaker 2: my company should get in on the act. After all,
10:40
Speaker 2: it feels so obvious that I don't know even a
10:43
Speaker 2: nine year old could see the potential. So I decided
10:46
Speaker 2: to try the pitch out on my nine year old Ruby.
10:49
Speaker 4: Hey only, why let me get this closet.
10:53
Speaker 2: I brought you to this closet because I wanted to
10:55
Speaker 2: pitch you on an astrology app. Are you ready for it?
11:01
Speaker 2: Why is that? What do you think about astrology? It's dumb?
11:04
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, Well, maybe you're not the right person for it.
11:08
Speaker 2: But the reason I came to you is because you
11:11
Speaker 2: actually have a bank. You spend only my money. You
11:14
Speaker 2: seem to hoard all your money, and you keep all
11:16
Speaker 2: of Henry's money as well, which you charge him a
11:18
Speaker 2: small fee for. So I thought you might be the
11:21
Speaker 2: savviest person in this family. Is it okay if I
11:23
Speaker 2: pitch you an astrology app?
11:25
Speaker 4: Okay?
11:26
Speaker 2: So? Here's my case for it. These aren't your grandmother's
11:30
Speaker 2: horse ghosts, right, They're talking to you in this very
11:33
Speaker 2: fresh and fun way. They're up to the minute with
11:37
Speaker 2: the NASA data. They look beautiful, and they have a
11:41
Speaker 2: chat feature where astrologers will chat with you live about
11:44
Speaker 2: your birth charts. Right. And then by twenty nineteen, right,
11:47
Speaker 2: like you could see, astrology are starting to take over Bumble,
11:50
Speaker 2: the dating app. They start allowing you to sort your
11:53
Speaker 2: matches by their birth signs, so like you could say,
11:56
Speaker 2: like I only want to date Tauruses, or I only
11:57
Speaker 2: want to date Geminis or whatever. In fact, astrology in
12:01
Speaker 2: twenty nineteen was a two point two billion dollar market.
12:05
Speaker 2: What do you think about that? Mind, I can't help
12:12
Speaker 2: whether you're serious or not. But apps made forty million
12:17
Speaker 2: dollars that year, and in fact, the next year, when
12:21
Speaker 2: COVID really hit, people started searching for birth charts and astrology.
12:26
Speaker 2: Both of those searches hit five year peaks on Google.
12:29
Speaker 2: So it's no wonder that all these venture capital funds
12:33
Speaker 2: had started investing in astrology apps early and then continued
12:36
Speaker 2: to invest. And I'm here to ask you to invest
12:40
Speaker 2: in my astrology app.
12:42
Speaker 4: What do you think, oh, I know, I'm spending oh
12:46
Speaker 4: my money on a skateboard now on you?
12:49
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, so Ruby, what type of business would you
12:52
Speaker 2: invest in? Bubble gum? Okay? Chapter three, Truth and Poetry.
13:12
Speaker 2: When you go out with a recorder in hand, it's
13:14
Speaker 2: interesting to see who will talk on tape. We found
13:17
Speaker 2: scientists at NASA who actually wouldn't talk about their interest
13:19
Speaker 2: in astrology to us because they were afraid of losing
13:22
Speaker 2: their jobs. We found PhDs and postdocs who were worried
13:26
Speaker 2: that if they talk at all to our podcasts, even
13:29
Speaker 2: to say that astrology was nonsense, they would face professional repercussions.
13:34
Speaker 2: I mean, it is insanity what a lightning rod astrology
13:38
Speaker 2: can be. But luckily we found Jamie Green.
13:42
Speaker 9: My grandfather showed me a little half of a peanut
13:45
Speaker 9: that had the germ in it, and he said, that's
13:47
Speaker 9: going to become a plant. And it was just things
13:49
Speaker 9: like that that got me interested in the world, which
13:53
Speaker 9: is the same as being interested in science.
13:55
Speaker 2: Jamie is a celebrated science writer, and.
13:58
Speaker 9: I'm Sagittarius, although you would not know it from looking
14:01
Speaker 9: at anything about my life. I've got some planet in
14:04
Speaker 9: Capricorn that explains why I'm not an impulsive adventurer.
14:10
Speaker 2: She has a new book coming out called The Possibility
14:13
Speaker 2: of Life, and she's co editor of the annual Best
14:15
Speaker 2: American Science and Nature writing volumes. And whether it's chatting
14:19
Speaker 2: about her garden or the way we perceive constellations, her
14:23
Speaker 2: capacity for wonder is incredible and infectious. But perhaps what
14:29
Speaker 2: I love most about Jamie was how she clarified that
14:32
Speaker 2: science and astrology don't actually have to be at odds
14:36
Speaker 2: with one another, that we don't need science to disprove astrology.
14:41
Speaker 2: Not that she thinks astrology is a science.
14:43
Speaker 9: Exactly scientifically, in terms of astronomy, astrology doesn't hold a
14:50
Speaker 9: lot of meaning because it's all very human centric. From
14:53
Speaker 9: the point of view of looking at the stars from Earth, the.
14:56
Speaker 2: Stars are light years apart. They have no real relation
14:59
Speaker 2: to you each other except in our minds. But that relationship,
15:04
Speaker 2: the one we make up while looking up at the stars,
15:07
Speaker 2: that means something, or it can mean something if you
15:11
Speaker 2: want it to.
15:13
Speaker 9: It's like a much more eloquent, poetic personal fortune cookie.
15:19
Speaker 9: And I don't mean that disparagingly. I just think that
15:21
Speaker 9: it's for you to take from it what you need.
15:23
Speaker 9: Like we don't think it's anti science to say a
15:26
Speaker 9: poem is true. I think that's where science gets defensive,
15:31
Speaker 9: is when people say that astrology is a science and
15:34
Speaker 9: has physical roots in the stars. It's like, oh no
15:38
Speaker 9: it doesn't, but it's true the way a poem is true.
15:41
Speaker 2: I can't tell you how much I love that. I mean,
15:44
Speaker 2: as someone who's a skeptic but also a romantic, this
15:48
Speaker 2: idea that astrology is true the same way a poem
15:51
Speaker 2: is true. That feels right to me, and it's something
15:55
Speaker 2: my friend Pete also said when I talk to him,
15:58
Speaker 2: Pete Steele is, well, it's complicated.
16:03
Speaker 7: So like even though I was in like a semi
16:05
Speaker 7: successful like musician, I was like, I need to make
16:08
Speaker 7: money somehow, like right now, Like what other skills do
16:12
Speaker 7: I have?
16:12
Speaker 8: Oh?
16:12
Speaker 7: I do astrology.
16:15
Speaker 2: He is a rock star, like a real rock star.
16:18
Speaker 2: He used to be in the Walkman, Oh that massive
16:27
Speaker 2: seminal Indie rock band. And yes, his backup career was
16:32
Speaker 2: professional astrology. When he was younger, he trained with this
16:36
Speaker 2: big famous guru. He was living in his guest house
16:39
Speaker 2: and that's where he learned to read star charts.
16:42
Speaker 7: You would take him back to him and he would
16:43
Speaker 7: say like, no, it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Like,
16:46
Speaker 7: you're wrong, you know, and then he kind of in
16:50
Speaker 7: very traditional style like yell at the apprentice sort of thing,
16:55
Speaker 7: kung Fu master, right, the very very karate kid kind
16:58
Speaker 7: of feeling right.
17:01
Speaker 2: But here's the other thing. Pete doesn't even believe in astrology.
17:05
Speaker 2: He's a rock star who does astrology for politicians and
17:09
Speaker 2: World Bank economists and all sorts of interesting folks, but
17:13
Speaker 2: he doesn't believe in it.
17:15
Speaker 4: It's just art to me.
17:16
Speaker 7: And I don't mean that dismissively, like, but that's like
17:18
Speaker 7: my whole being, Like, that's what I care about.
17:20
Speaker 2: What he believes really is in a more vivid reality,
17:24
Speaker 2: a kind of embroidered view of the world. Pete and
17:27
Speaker 2: I both spent formative years in India, and we have
17:30
Speaker 2: a certain comfort in the magical if you.
17:33
Speaker 7: Read like one hundred Years of Solitude or something like that,
17:36
Speaker 7: world of like this kind of magical Columbia. You know,
17:39
Speaker 7: it's like that felt very similar in a lot of
17:43
Speaker 7: ways to how we were raised.
17:51
Speaker 2: Magical explanations have been woven throughout my life, like why
17:56
Speaker 2: was my family's little community in India so well off?
17:58
Speaker 2: A century ago. You could say it's because of luck
18:02
Speaker 2: or global economics. You could say it's because when the
18:06
Speaker 2: Civil War was happening in the US, England actually needed
18:09
Speaker 2: more sources of cotton to replace all the cotton that
18:12
Speaker 2: the US had been producing. And my family they just
18:16
Speaker 2: happened to be in the right place to manage mills
18:18
Speaker 2: and plant cotton on their land. Or you could tell
18:21
Speaker 2: the story in a way that's way, way more magical,
18:25
Speaker 2: that a great great ancestor had this powerful vision from
18:29
Speaker 2: a goddess that if he chanted a simple string of
18:31
Speaker 2: prayers every single night, and he taught all his children
18:35
Speaker 2: to sing it, and they taught all their children, his
18:39
Speaker 2: people would be protected for years. And for most of
18:43
Speaker 2: my life, I only knew that second.
18:45
Speaker 5: Story Shanta Majimus mah Luxmi maji ja jakadambe I'm baby.
19:01
Speaker 2: About buying Chapter four. Mopeds and mini skirts. Arranged marriage
19:10
Speaker 2: has always been this thing that's hard for me to
19:13
Speaker 2: talk about. When I first moved to Delaware, kids in
19:15
Speaker 2: my elementary school had all these questions for me about
19:18
Speaker 2: being Indian, right, like does your family sleep on a
19:21
Speaker 2: bed of nails? Can charm snakes? Just you know, these
19:25
Speaker 2: things they'd seen on cartoons, and arranged marriage was just
19:29
Speaker 2: another one of these questions I'd have to field, except
19:32
Speaker 2: this one actually bothered me more because this time I'd
19:36
Speaker 2: have to admit that, yes, my parents did have an
19:39
Speaker 2: arranged marriage, and then I'd have to explain that The
19:42
Speaker 2: thing is, everyone assumed my mom and dad were like forcibly,
19:46
Speaker 2: paired off when they were nine years old and then
19:48
Speaker 2: sent away to work and have kids, and that isn't true.
19:51
Speaker 2: It's like my parents' situation was a little more like
19:55
Speaker 2: pride and prejudice. Like, you come from a good family,
20:02
Speaker 2: your parents want you to marry into another good family,
20:04
Speaker 2: so they set you up. They make introductions to certain people,
20:08
Speaker 2: and if you like each other, they kind of fast
20:11
Speaker 2: track the marriage or they make more introductions. But since
20:16
Speaker 2: this was already super hard to explain, I just left
20:20
Speaker 2: out the part of astrology, which also plays a big
20:23
Speaker 2: role in the whole arranged marriage thing. It was like,
20:27
Speaker 2: I don't know, just too difficult or embarrassing something. After all,
20:32
Speaker 2: it's a weird thing to have to admit you only
20:35
Speaker 2: exist because of astrology. But I'll let my mom explain.
20:40
Speaker 2: Tell me about how your marriage was arranged.
20:43
Speaker 4: Oh, that's funny, okay. Umishi's aunt Shadaka. She came to
20:51
Speaker 4: see Amma because she'd heard that, you know, I was available.
20:55
Speaker 2: I guess this story starts, of course, with two families
20:58
Speaker 2: dusting off their kid's horse and handing them off to
21:01
Speaker 2: a trusted astrologer, not some low level quack.
21:05
Speaker 4: So they matched it and it mashed perfectly.
21:08
Speaker 2: The traditional Indian matching system is way more complicated than
21:11
Speaker 2: just saying is you a scorpio? A proper celestial marriage
21:15
Speaker 2: is supposed to be a union of souls, so the
21:17
Speaker 2: astrologers inspect all the vagaries of your chart and pressure
21:21
Speaker 2: test everything like your personalities, your feelings about class and status,
21:26
Speaker 2: even how a couple's health will be affected by one another.
21:29
Speaker 2: It's all on the scale of thirty six points, and
21:32
Speaker 2: any match under eighteen points shouldn't be considered, But anything
21:37
Speaker 2: over thirty two, that's something you want to lock down immediately.
21:40
Speaker 4: My patents want to make sure that the man Amadi
21:43
Speaker 4: did not let me, She asked the astrology you know,
21:46
Speaker 4: how is his nature? So the strologia todama that Umish
21:50
Speaker 4: was a gentle creature, you know, never lost system.
21:53
Speaker 2: But so this part is one hundred percent true. I've
21:57
Speaker 2: only ever heard my dad yell a handful of times,
22:00
Speaker 2: and most of that was when our dog Lupini would
22:03
Speaker 2: just race out of the house and he would run
22:06
Speaker 2: after her with this like slice of Kraft singles cheese,
22:10
Speaker 2: just waving it to try to tempt her back. And
22:12
Speaker 2: it always worked because she was super greedy.
22:16
Speaker 4: But one fault he'd have is never come on time
22:18
Speaker 4: to the table to have dinner. And we thought it
22:21
Speaker 4: was a big joke, and that came true. If we
22:23
Speaker 4: couldn't believe that astrology could be that powerful to tell
22:28
Speaker 4: a quirk like that.
22:30
Speaker 2: Wasn't there something else with the mother in law?
22:32
Speaker 4: The mother law? Yes, they said that I would be
22:35
Speaker 4: best for a boy that did not have a mother.
22:38
Speaker 4: I really don't know. They said it was something to
22:40
Speaker 4: do with the stars, and if I had a mother
22:43
Speaker 4: in lot it wouldn't go well. So here Umish had
22:47
Speaker 4: lost his mother when he was under year. I think
22:50
Speaker 4: we just about a year, so it was perfect.
22:53
Speaker 2: This is something I think about a lot, how astrology
22:56
Speaker 2: accounts for everything. My dad had an ayah or a nanny,
23:01
Speaker 2: but he never had a mother. His life was a
23:04
Speaker 2: series of hostels and boarding schools, sometimes in cities hundreds
23:08
Speaker 2: of miles from his home. It makes me sad to
23:11
Speaker 2: think about, but if his mom had survived, my parents
23:16
Speaker 2: would never have been together. Astrology would have made sure
23:19
Speaker 2: of that. Anyway, back to my mom. Even though my
23:24
Speaker 2: grandmom was working really hard to set her up, my
23:26
Speaker 2: mom was not keen to get married.
23:29
Speaker 4: I wasn't ready. I was still studying and it was
23:31
Speaker 4: in my final year for Masters, studying linguistics. I didn't
23:36
Speaker 4: want to give that up and didn't want to get
23:38
Speaker 4: married that fast. Yeah, so I felt like a Josico.
23:44
Speaker 4: I wasn't happy, and things were really moving faster than
23:48
Speaker 4: I ever expected. So I said, I'm going to foil this.
23:52
Speaker 2: So, just to get the picture, a typical woman hoping
23:55
Speaker 2: for a match would be waiting, sitting by her parents,
23:59
Speaker 2: dressed in a sorry or something traditional, like making a
24:02
Speaker 2: big show of what a quiet and obedient wife they
24:06
Speaker 2: could be. And instead I.
24:08
Speaker 4: Had a miniskirt on and I had lambretta. I wrote
24:12
Speaker 4: that and came.
24:13
Speaker 2: Oh, and she's also late, Like my mom is the
24:17
Speaker 2: most punctual person I know. She gets at the airport
24:19
Speaker 2: three hours ahead of time. And that since I was
24:22
Speaker 2: a kid, so she's clearly trying to tank this thing.
24:26
Speaker 4: And my hair, I'd let it lose and curly wasn't done.
24:31
Speaker 4: But instead, you know, Mishuzana said, Oh, that's no problem.
24:34
Speaker 4: We love more than girls.
24:36
Speaker 2: What type of women do you think Mama was expecting
24:39
Speaker 2: to present.
24:41
Speaker 4: She wanted them to know that I was absolutely sensitive
24:45
Speaker 4: and very loving, very kind and gentle with everyone, and
24:49
Speaker 4: animal lover.
24:50
Speaker 2: But my Grandmam was also incredibly honest, so she was
24:54
Speaker 2: sure to tell my dad's family this.
24:56
Speaker 4: I had no interest in cooking.
25:00
Speaker 2: Anyway. Despite my mom's lack of interest in the kitchen
25:02
Speaker 2: and her dramatic attempt to topple this whole affair, she
25:07
Speaker 2: somehow still won my dad's family over.
25:10
Speaker 4: So I must say, here's the deal. Let him write
25:12
Speaker 4: to you. If you don't like him, it's fine.
25:15
Speaker 2: He was a charming writer.
25:16
Speaker 4: He was a tom directed.
25:18
Speaker 2: So they wrote letters back and forth for a year,
25:21
Speaker 2: and when they finally met in person.
25:23
Speaker 4: You know, he looked so vulnerable that I said, oh,
25:25
Speaker 4: this is great. I can handle him.
25:28
Speaker 2: My parents don't have a perfect marriage, but there are
25:31
Speaker 2: lots of wonderful bits things that make me think those
25:34
Speaker 2: thirty two points mean something like once when they were young,
25:38
Speaker 2: they visited Paris and they went to dinner at this
25:41
Speaker 2: fancy restaurant with a ballroom, and then orchestra started playing
25:45
Speaker 2: and no one was dancing crickets. So my dad just
25:50
Speaker 2: whisked my mom onto the dance floor and then slowly
25:53
Speaker 2: everyone in the place joins in. And when my parents
25:56
Speaker 2: went back to their table, the band leader had actually
25:58
Speaker 2: sent them this gorgeous bottle of brandy to say thank
26:01
Speaker 2: you for livening the place up and forgetting everyone dancing.
26:05
Speaker 2: I mean, if astrology can promise you those sorts of
26:08
Speaker 2: scenes like who wouldn't listen? Of course, astrology has done
26:12
Speaker 2: damage in the family too. Here's my mom telling me
26:15
Speaker 2: about an arranged marriage gone wrong.
26:18
Speaker 4: My cousin Nana. The girl that they looked for the
26:22
Speaker 4: horoscope matched with him.
26:23
Speaker 5: Who's your cousin, Nana?
26:24
Speaker 4: Nana from Manglo Nalipachison, So there was a danger of
26:28
Speaker 4: his brother dying if the girl married Nana.
26:32
Speaker 2: The astrologers have predicted that if the couple went through
26:34
Speaker 2: with the marriage, even though their horoscopes matched, it could
26:38
Speaker 2: lead to Nanu's brother's death. I mean, who wants that
26:42
Speaker 2: on their hands? Even if it's putting your chances for
26:45
Speaker 2: love at risk.
26:47
Speaker 4: So to this day he still a bachelor.
26:49
Speaker 2: Really, Oh wow, what do you think about that?
26:54
Speaker 4: It's a shame. Yeah, they could have found other girls,
26:59
Speaker 4: but he just was dejected, said normal, normal hotorscopes.
27:04
Speaker 3: That's heartbreaking, really is Yeah.
27:18
Speaker 2: After chatting with my mom, two things occurred to me. First,
27:21
Speaker 2: the chasm between the way Americans and Indians used astrology
27:26
Speaker 2: that only felt wider, Like no app was going to
27:29
Speaker 2: tell you to quit your NBA to marry some guy
27:31
Speaker 2: in America, or to break it off with this girl
27:34
Speaker 2: because it could bring bad luck or death to another
27:36
Speaker 2: family member, like the starkness of the way Indian astrology
27:40
Speaker 2: can be used to control lives. It felt so dark,
27:45
Speaker 2: but also pretty intriguing, like it only made me want
27:49
Speaker 2: to dig in more. And the second thing I remembered
27:52
Speaker 2: is this piece of advice AJ gave me about really
27:56
Speaker 2: embracing the show.
27:58
Speaker 6: I think you got to go all in, So you've
28:00
Speaker 6: got to hire an astrologer to help you with the show.
28:05
Speaker 6: Let's figure out when you should start. When should the
28:08
Speaker 6: air date be, Who should you hire to help you?
28:11
Speaker 6: Should it be a Virgo or a Capricorn? Like, go
28:15
Speaker 6: for it, because that's one way to test it is
28:17
Speaker 6: to see does it work for you?
28:20
Speaker 2: So I decided to find an Indian astrologer and solve
28:23
Speaker 2: both problems. I could lean into my Indian side and
28:27
Speaker 2: also have some fun with it. But what I didn't
28:30
Speaker 2: know was that that visit was going to change my life.
28:50
Speaker 2: Chapter five We go to Queens. On April ninth, I
29:02
Speaker 2: headed to Queens to meet an astrologer. He's someone my
29:05
Speaker 2: friend and showrunner for the show, Mary recommended that I
29:08
Speaker 2: reach out to, and coincidentally, he happened to be an
29:11
Speaker 2: astrologer that my cousin Aditya had used. Yeah, the hey,
29:14
Speaker 2: how was you d A? That is another rational type.
29:19
Speaker 2: He's kind of this white shoe lawyer, masters from Cambridge,
29:22
Speaker 2: and he used this astrologer in a difficult time and
29:25
Speaker 2: apparently the predictions had proven accurate. So I've actually wanted
29:29
Speaker 2: to see him again. So I took a train to
29:31
Speaker 2: Jackson Heights to meet doctor Rakish Kamar and we entered
29:34
Speaker 2: his white wood frame office. From the outside, it's kind
29:37
Speaker 2: of nondescripts like this row house, but when you opened
29:41
Speaker 2: the door, you immediately sensed these temple like vibes. So
29:46
Speaker 2: I took off my shoes at the entrance, walked through
29:49
Speaker 2: a fog of sweet sandalwood, and there were these massive
29:54
Speaker 2: photos of his guru on the wall. And then I
29:58
Speaker 2: turned into this tiny room with a wood and it
30:01
Speaker 2: had a giant stack of books on it with a
30:03
Speaker 2: little black laptop on top. Looking around, I realize how
30:08
Speaker 2: fun this is. I'm here on this field trip with
30:11
Speaker 2: my cousin, this astrology adventure, and I'm so ready to
30:15
Speaker 2: hear some ridiculous things and enjoy this experience. Doctor Kamar
30:22
Speaker 2: very sweetly welcomes me in. He closes his emails, and then,
30:26
Speaker 2: using the information I'd sent him a few days before,
30:29
Speaker 2: he pulls up my chart and turns on his recorder.
30:33
Speaker 8: So I'm just looking at it. Charted me first nineteen
30:36
Speaker 8: seventy nine, Gel War four in the afternoon, summit, New Jersey.
30:40
Speaker 8: You're born on a Tuesday. You have the sign Cancerizing this.
30:44
Speaker 2: I've got to say I was a little surprised by
30:46
Speaker 2: how quickly doctor Kamar dives in. It seems like he's
30:50
Speaker 2: just staring at a bunch of numbers on his screen,
30:52
Speaker 2: but he's interpreting them, kind of like Neo from the matrix,
30:56
Speaker 2: and I'm curious to hear my reading. But what I
30:59
Speaker 2: really want to do is asked doctor Kamar about the show.
31:02
Speaker 2: I thought it'd be fun if there were these auspicious
31:05
Speaker 2: dates for my podcast, or if you could predict something
31:08
Speaker 2: about how many people would listen. But first he had
31:12
Speaker 2: some questions for me.
31:14
Speaker 8: So, how's work been since January twenty twenty.
31:19
Speaker 2: That's when I decided to quit my job.
31:24
Speaker 8: Okay, so either you would have quit your job where
31:27
Speaker 8: the job would have quit you one of the things
31:29
Speaker 8: because the time of such because it impacts your converch
31:33
Speaker 8: through your work career. It's so ironic. You come here
31:35
Speaker 8: today two days from now, April thirteenth onwards. Then after
31:40
Speaker 8: a new chapter of your life begins, another beginning of
31:43
Speaker 8: your life, which will be very good.
31:46
Speaker 2: This is what I came for. I write down April
31:49
Speaker 2: thirteenth on my notebook and I circle it big. Four
31:52
Speaker 2: days from now. That's the date I'm going to get
31:55
Speaker 2: started on my show. Doctor Kamara continues with more work
31:59
Speaker 2: related things. He says foreign travelers in the cards, which
32:03
Speaker 2: is super exciting, and that I should wear an emerald
32:06
Speaker 2: to improve my communication skills, which is funny. I make
32:10
Speaker 2: a note to do an episode on gems and veda
32:13
Speaker 2: astrology down the line. But the best part is that
32:16
Speaker 2: doctor Kamar seems to think this whole podcast will go
32:19
Speaker 2: really well.
32:21
Speaker 8: So it's very profound. So you'll make it big in life,
32:24
Speaker 8: You'll be very successful in everything, because your planets show that.
32:28
Speaker 2: I'm so excited about all this tape, getting a start
32:31
Speaker 2: date for the show, the talk of gems, this prediction
32:34
Speaker 2: that everything might go well, that I'm caught off guard
32:37
Speaker 2: by doctor Kamar's next question, which comes out of nowhere.
32:42
Speaker 8: Tell me something about your father, like what he did
32:46
Speaker 8: for work or still does.
32:49
Speaker 2: He's a chemical engineer. Okay, he's retired.
32:53
Speaker 7: He's ill right.
32:55
Speaker 2: Now listening back, I don't know why I mentioned my
32:58
Speaker 2: dad was ill. Doctor Kamar hadn't asked, and maybe it's
33:03
Speaker 2: because I was trying to participate fully, like I thought
33:06
Speaker 2: I should let him know. Years ago, my dad was
33:09
Speaker 2: diagnosed with cancer, but he actually sailed through that treatment
33:14
Speaker 2: and he's been cancer free for a while now. But
33:17
Speaker 2: recently he broke a rib reaching for something, which was odd,
33:21
Speaker 2: and then he also had this slight boost and some
33:23
Speaker 2: liver counts which his doctor told him not to worry about.
33:27
Speaker 8: Because that's why I asked again. From the time he
33:31
Speaker 8: started a couple of years back till now, a situation
33:34
Speaker 8: doesn't look good for father. There is risk to father.
33:38
Speaker 2: This thing about my dad. It was a throwaway line
33:41
Speaker 2: in the middle of an hour and a half interview.
33:44
Speaker 2: I don't even know how closely I was listening. By
33:47
Speaker 2: the time we hit stop on the recorder, I was thrilled.
33:50
Speaker 2: I had over an hour of material and I was
33:52
Speaker 2: cutting tape in my head as I was asking questions,
33:55
Speaker 2: and I felt good. I thanked doctor Kamar for his time,
33:59
Speaker 2: and I let him run off to feed his mother lunch,
34:01
Speaker 2: which he does every day, and my cousin and I
34:04
Speaker 2: walked off to get fresh dosas in Italy's that one
34:07
Speaker 2: of the many canteens that dot this area of Jackson
34:10
Speaker 2: Heights so well, I turned to thank you for you,
34:17
Speaker 2: and then twenty minutes into chatting and laughing and debating
34:22
Speaker 2: what's real about astrology and what isn't and how can
34:26
Speaker 2: you even tell right? I received this email from my dad.
34:31
Speaker 2: It read we just received the results of the MRCP testing.
34:36
Speaker 2: Unfortunately the news is not as good as it could be.
34:40
Speaker 2: We'll talk to doctor Thomas and doctor Shakur and let
34:43
Speaker 2: you know as soon as we can. Study result diffuse
34:48
Speaker 2: metastatic disease throughout the liver and bones from unknown primary.
34:56
Speaker 2: The cancer had metastasized through my dad's liver and bones.
35:00
Speaker 2: I don't know what it means, but I've forgotten about astrology.
35:05
Speaker 2: I don't care about emeralds or whether any of this
35:08
Speaker 2: feels embarrassing anymore. My stomach drops. I can't finish my child.
35:16
Speaker 2: I don't know what to write, so I just tap out.
35:19
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, Dad. I'll call you back in a bit.
35:24
Speaker 2: And all I'm thinking now is how fast can I
35:28
Speaker 2: get to Atlanta Next week? On Skyline Drive, we take
35:52
Speaker 2: a train to be a ridge, meet a therapist who
35:55
Speaker 2: secretly uses astrology behind your client's backs, and hang out
35:59
Speaker 2: with a seventy four year old who just wants to know.
36:02
Speaker 4: Am I ever gonna have sex with somebody again?
36:06
Speaker 2: And we use astrology to get her an answer. Thank
36:14
Speaker 2: you so much for listening. I have so many people
36:17
Speaker 2: to thank. Skyline Drive is a production of Kaleidoscope and
36:20
Speaker 2: iHeart Podcast. The show is hosted and written by me
36:23
Speaker 2: Mongish Heartikular with a ton of help like so much
36:27
Speaker 2: help from these wonderful people. Mary Philip Sandy is our
36:31
Speaker 2: cat loving supervising producer. Miitra Bunshahi produced this whole thing
36:36
Speaker 2: despite my constantly getting in the way. Mark Lotto is
36:39
Speaker 2: our incredible story editor who even suffered a trip to
36:42
Speaker 2: India with me. This episode was mixed by my pal
36:45
Speaker 2: at Soundboard with scoring from Botany. The song Yola Mango
36:50
Speaker 2: is my absolute favorite. The insane music in between is
36:54
Speaker 2: courtesy of Azadi Records, Himanshusuri and Peter Matthew Bauer. If
36:59
Speaker 2: you want to hear we made you a mixtape, just
37:02
Speaker 2: check out the show notes. Additional production and research support
37:05
Speaker 2: from the wonderful Anna Rubinova through Shivrau Lucas, Riley Bethan Mcalouso,
37:12
Speaker 2: aditya bus Thrower, and my wonderful wife Lizzie Jacobs. There's
37:16
Speaker 2: also my superstar Aunt Summon, the Woman Buckshi and my
37:20
Speaker 2: cousin Argent Bukshi, who helped me out of a giant
37:23
Speaker 2: pinch abroad. The show is executive produced from iHeart On,
37:27
Speaker 2: my Good Pals, Nikki Etour and Katrina Norvel. This show
37:31
Speaker 2: would not have happened without the support of my friends
37:33
Speaker 2: at Kalidoscope, starting with my good pal Ozwolishan, who believed
37:38
Speaker 2: in this show. He's also my partner at Kaleidoscope. Also
37:40
Speaker 2: Kate Osborne for her spot on notes, cost Us Linos
37:44
Speaker 2: for his encouragement, and Vahini Shori for her delightful suggestions.
37:49
Speaker 2: I also want to give a little special thanks to
37:51
Speaker 2: all the kiddos who bore with us through this production,
37:54
Speaker 2: Henry Ruby, Julian Grendel, Lou and little enzo Etour. All
37:59
Speaker 2: my friends at I Heart, including Bob Connell, Will Carrie,
38:02
Speaker 2: Nathan Jason, Jerry My New York and Atlanta Cruz. There
38:06
Speaker 2: are too many to name. Also Shantan Sarub, my family
38:10
Speaker 2: in India, my family in the States, my friend Noel
38:12
Speaker 2: Brown who read this episode's warning check out his show's
38:16
Speaker 2: ridiculous history and stuff they don't want you to know.
38:19
Speaker 2: And just one last thank you to my Amma and
38:22
Speaker 2: my dad, Lalita and Amije Artigudur, who I thank my
38:27
Speaker 2: lucky stars for thank you so much for listening.
38:36
Speaker 4: Dom Dom Dim Dam Doom Doom Dim Doom Doom did