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Backstage Pass to Trauma Care | Learning Trauma Care for Family and Community with Josée · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

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  Welcome to this special episode of Journey with Care, part of our summer speedo
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  series. I'm Johan, and today, I'm excited to hand the mic over to our
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  guest host, Tim, our lead trauma care trainer who's guiding us through
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  a meaningful conversation with Jose. She'll be joining us
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  from Ottawa. She is a mother of four, passionate homeschooler, and deeply
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  involved in her local church and community. In this episode, she shares
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  about her family's story, her heart for serving others, and some powerful
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  insights on compassion and connection, and they get into why she got
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  into trauma care and why she took the trauma care course with Care Impact.
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  Some powerful insights. So whether you're in a walk in your garden or just taking
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  a break, I invite you to listen as we explore what it means to walk
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  alongside others and grow together. Let's get started.
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  Well, Jose, welcome. We are so excited to have this
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  moment to have a little conversation with you. And
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  I'm just wondering, you're there in Ottawa. I'm here in Nova Scotia.
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  Is there something simple that brought you joy this week? Oh, yeah.
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  Getting out in the garden with the kids. I mean, we're we're just preparing, having
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  the chickens walking around, and the kids just helping me out with some
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  projects. We we have a lot of fun out there. Beautiful. Oh, I love it.
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  I'm gardening here with our two kids and and, loving that as well.
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  Before we jump into your story, if you could share a little bit about
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  yourself, where you live, what you do, anything you kind of would
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  like to share with us about your day to day life. Well, thanks for
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  having me. My name is Jules Lee Jovan. I live in Clarence Rockland,
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  and we have a family of four kiddos. So my
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  husband, Steph, and I, we've lived in this area. Well, him his whole
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  life and me, rural Eastern my whole life. But with our
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  kids, we have three girls and one boy and
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  basically a 15 year old, a 10 year old
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  and two little twins that are two little boy little girls.
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  So that's that's our family. We are a homeschooling family. We
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  are in it for the long haul, so I kinda joke around that I don't
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  know what vacations are, and I I don't know what retirement's gonna look like,
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  but I try to enjoy that journey with them and get to
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  infuse some life and what God has placed over them. And so that's
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  a high honor. I also serve through my local
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  church. We go to New Beginning Church in Rockland
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  and served and worship there a long time, but God really put a
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  tug on my heart to serve with safe families.
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  And we wanted to, as a family, have that opportunity to reach out to our
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  community in a very tangible way. And so
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  we became a host family with them. And then, well, when our
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  adoption went through, then things shifted, with the two younger
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  ones. And so now I'm a family coach with them and still advocating
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  to, and supporting the work that say families auto was doing as well
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  as hoping that we eventually will be able to reach out to the community
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  here and continue to see families and
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  encouraged and strengthened in their journey, but also to
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  see God do some restoration. And so for me,
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  learning about trauma care has been life giving, not only for me with my own
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  kids, but interaction with other families, other children,
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  but also with, or would say families, I think is so important. And,
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  so I'm really thankful for that opportunity of the course. I'm just, I
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  need that gets I can get a handle on. And, and the more I can
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  understand of myself as well as I, aim to serve
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  others that are going through crises, then the the more the Lord is able
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  to sharpen whatever I am doing. And and so that has a greater impact for
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  his glory. That's beautiful, Jose. So for our
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  listeners that are not familiar with the Ottawa area, I grew up
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  there, so I know where Clarence Rockland is. But you're just outside of Ottawa. You
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  referred to being connected with Safe Families Ottawa. We've got
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  another story that listeners will hear, from someone else connected with Safe
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  Families. You've already jumped right in to where our questions are going today.
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  Can you share a little bit about your journey in understanding a little bit about
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  trauma? What first opened your eyes to to that? When
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  we were going through the process of adoption, actually, is what
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  got us into it. We're trying to learn more and more
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  about trauma and open adoption and
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  understanding the dynamics of a child
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  that has gone through that trauma, whether they're adopted from birth or
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  later on, and just being aware of how to support them in all those
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  seasons. That's where it started. Started learning
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  with the provinces to, you know, what are some of the challenges out in the
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  community with the foster system? And that was very much,
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  it was very much geared towards that. I found a lot for adoptive
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  families like we were hoping to be. And so I came across
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  Catherine Purvis's resources, and so we
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  started connecting with the annual conference
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  with Empowered to Connect, the podcast as well, and just
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  taking that in and sharing with our kids too, our older girls,
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  so that they can also understand how those dynamics might
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  change and what we can pray for. And I find sharing
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  is is an opportunity for them to to be more
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  empathic empathetic Mhmm. From French. Empathetic. Yeah. Thank
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  you. You're you're doing this in your second language. Yeah. It's beautiful, Jose. Thank
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  you. Oh, I'm Franco and Terrian, so we kinda blended all
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  both. Right. Well, we wanted them
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  to have compassion in their hearts for others irregardless through
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  adoption. Just anyone you meet in community. Right? That's really the heart even in our
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  homeschool, that, that they would be able to be strong in the Lord
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  and that their first response is when they see people they interact with
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  is compassion and understanding, well, this is who God is, and
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  this is what he's expecting of me. But God, what is
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  your response? What do you see? How do you want me to act and
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  embrace this person? And so we've had that lovely introduction,
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  those resources, honestly, was the best books I found.
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  I found some, some really horrific books, unfortunately, about
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  adoption and trauma and all these things. I was like, lord, it's
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  so sad. But, yeah, it is. It is. But I'm like,
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  surely, there is hope because there's you. And then I I came
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  across those, those resources. And so I was like, Oh, thank you,
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  Lord. Like just so much hope. And then I care
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  and I've been blessed and encouraged our
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  family in ways that we never even thought we'd need it. Like
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  we went through some trauma with our
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  eldest, some times, of, of serious
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  illness where at 11 years old, we almost lost her and
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  having to walk through that with her and then walk through the trauma
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  of my younger child at that time, realizing that maybe she
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  was an ill, but she certainly had trauma. So it opened my eyes.
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  So even to this day, God is still showing, ways that we
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  can kind of reconnect and help rebuild there. And he's done so much.
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  But if I would not have had that opportunity
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  to learn about new trauma and how to connect and how
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  to rebuild it, then that would have been detrimental, I think, to my
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  family. So I definitely encourage any family to
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  be informed about these resources because
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  first thing we have to do is look at ourselves. And as a parent, we
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  can get triggered by so many things, but to take the time to
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  understand, like, how am I triggered here? What is
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  this? Where is this coming from? And understanding and getting some
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  insight into my experience as a teller. What have I told
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  myself? What have I believed all these years and how is that impacting how I
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  interact with others? Yeah. It's a lovely thing. And
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  we certainly wanna have connection with our kids and encourage
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  them that whatever season you're going through, that I'm a safe space
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  to land and that, you know, we're we're able to walk through it together.
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  That's beautiful, Jazee. It's so powerful how you're seeing
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  the equipping that you've received really shaping you.
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  And then it's you that holds the relationships within
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  your family unit that you're speaking a lot to. But in the community, you've
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  spoken of your church, of safe families and their connection with other families, and then,
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  of course, within your family unit with the adoptive twins
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  that you have, but also with your biological kids and the hard things that each
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  of you has been through together. And it's not just one
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  place of relationship that I'm hearing from you that you found the
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  impact of the training and the empathy that comes with understanding
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  more of what's below the surface for for each of us.
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  So you've just actually come through a training, a master class we call it with
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  Care Impact. Very similar content, I would say, being
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  trained in TBRI and in this content we just delivered.
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  You have a few things to say to that training. You've already said a lot,
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  but, was there a moment in the trauma care master
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  class, that you just took where you learned or realized something
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  that helped you approach a relationship differently, something maybe new,
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  or or just a a strong reminder to you that you picked up from the
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  course? There was a lot of reminders, but I do have to say that
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  it went even deeper in details about trauma,
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  trauma intervention, the fight or flight, all the different,
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  things, even the attachment styles. That's not something that we had gone through
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  and the other resources that I had learned. So I very much
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  appreciated that. Yeah. Some more detail around what was
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  happening physiologically and an understanding of,
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  and what place people are at, depending on where
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  they're at. Seeing also their attachment types, how it's
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  represented in childhood and then how it's represented in adulthood,
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  because those will look completely different. And so I really
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  appreciated those details. Of course, as we ended
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  up closing the time together, there was some sharing about others,
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  share our kids' stories. And so for me as an adoptive mom, I have a
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  closed adoption. It's a bit tricky to know how do you
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  share what and how much. That was really helpful to me because they went
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  through the different stages and what's an example of how you could share
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  delicate information, but but in accordance to their development.
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  Yeah. So I thought that was helpful. Oh, thank you. Thank you for sharing that,
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  Jose. I'm so glad to hear that it was a deeper dive, that it went
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  broader, reminded you of some core things that you had picked up along the
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  way from TBRI and wherever else you've been been doing your
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  learning. And, but I'm so glad to hear that the course served
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  to to broaden and deepen your understanding, and it is from that place,
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  like we say in the course, of competence that our compassion grows. And as
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  our compassion grows, we desire to get more competent. So I I I think it's
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  beautiful that you're on that journey. With this learning journey you've been on,
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  has there been a moment when what you learned or what
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  you've been realizing along the way has helped shape a specific situation that you
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  might wanna share with us? It reminded me, again,
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  when we were talking about adoption and you had mentioned a book about the
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  body remembers trauma, which I knew, but again, you know what? I got the
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  book because I'm like, No, I need to dig deeper here because, yeah,
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  their body remembers and I need even more education on what that might
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  even look like as they're growing up. And also for my other
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  kids and the trauma that they went through too. There might be some things that
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  I'm seeing that are actually an indicator of that. And in a bigger
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  spectrum too, I want to help and support families that might be going
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  something similar, But but from my own space, that's where I was coming
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  from. Like, oh, yeah. I I need to dig in a little bit deeper there.
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  As you think of yourself and this is a while ago now because you've been
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  on this journey for a good while. But as you think of yourself before starting
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  this journey learning about the impacts of trauma and how to care well,
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  is there a way that you've seen yourself interact maybe with one of
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  your kids or or anyone, in your life that you realize has shifted
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  a little bit? And could you tell a quick story about that?
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  So much. I mean, I I grew up in a a a
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  different time. Right? And we look at our parents and our grandparents and
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  and the parenting that they did, of course, the best that they could in very
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  loving ways. And then, you know, we kind of make a decision as to, well,
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  this is how I do want to parent. This is how I'd like to
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  be with my kids. And so, yeah, in our journey, it's
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  opened my eyes to even more connection. Like I, I
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  remember feeling the stress in my household and, and
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  then seeing my parents relaxed when we were all married and gone. I'm like, you
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  know what? I want to enjoy the journey. I want to enjoy
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  the moments. I want to enjoy even the hardships, but just to
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  allow the Lord to just, to move in those and
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  to be present. The tools I've learned in order to stay
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  connected with my kids, if I have to intervene as far as even,
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  just discipline the regular mentoring we have to do with our kids, a lot of
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  repetition, but to keep myself checked
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  where I'm able to to be,
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  regulated, but also help them to find, regulate and talk
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  through tools a lot about self regulation and
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  sometimes to their frustration. They're like, but this really does help. And you know, I'm
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  a parent, but it helps me too. Sometimes I'm tired. Sometimes I don't
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  wanna do something, but you know, taking a nice deep breath or doing
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  you know, not running away, but choosing to to stick around and
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  and to talk it through or just even have a big hug and and
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  talk through how we're feeling. Doesn't that feel better? And asking about
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  how how they're feeling when they're going through all those emotions and then
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  connecting. And how do you feel now, now that we've been talking together? And
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  I know it was really hard at first, but how are you feeling now? Like,
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  that feels really good, you know, and just talking about what we can do in
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  the future maybe. So you don't have to feel that way and
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  and a lot of connecting, a lot of talking, a lot of yeah.
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  Well, that's beautiful. I love that centering on
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  connection because that feels like a great idea
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  until you're in the moment and it's hot and it's tired and the emotions,
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  yours and whoever else you're caring for, the kids in the in the case
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  you're sharing, right, are are high. And I and I love your naming
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  finding joy in the journey, of of connection. And
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  I I hear you, naming emotions, not just for your
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  kids, but for yourself and being able to name those together is a powerful way
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  of regulating. That's so beautiful.
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  It's been such a pleasure hearing your story, and I know your
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  story will be an encouragement to our listeners as they
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  think about, is this something I should be on a journey
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  of learning more in understanding trauma and how to care well for people who
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  are carrying hard things? Do you have one final encouragement for our
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  listeners, one final, little reach out to anybody that
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  might be thinking about this idea of learning more?
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  Mhmm. I'd encourage them to do that, to step out.
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  Whether you're in ministry or you're you're walking alongside people, all
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  of us go through difficult seasons. It might even be your own
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  parents one day. You really don't know what God's gonna put
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  on your path. As far as, you know, someone that you're asked to be the
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  hands and feet of Jesus, I just find it's just another way to connect to
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  his heart, to really have him touch your heart with different
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  ways to connect to people, to really have eyes, to see people for
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  who they are and to walk with them where they're at,
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  just like God does with us. I think it's terrific
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  for the church ministries. We've got so many people that
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  are reaching out and coming, but so little equipping. I think there's so
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  much room to increase, you know, talking about this and
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  sharing resources and, and making this actually
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  a pivotal piece of how we're choosing to reach out to
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  the community and all the different ways. I think it'll, we'll see a greater
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  impact if we do that. And as Christians, I mean, we'll be
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  better equipped as well, too. In this day and age, there is so much
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  brokenness. And so we, we can use all the,
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  the tools that we can, especially when people have walked through it and they've
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  they've learned so much. I mean, there's a lot of wisdom to learn and it's
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  wise to apply that, you know, with the sermon and the different
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  situations we come across. Great wisdom.
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  Thank you, Jose. Bless you.
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  Thank you. Thank you for joining us on Journey with Care.
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  or to connect with our community, visit journeywithcare.ca,
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