Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Rushion Interviews Daniel Carcillo about Brain Trauma and Schellie Fanfan, Mental Health Coach!

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Rushion Interviews Daniel Carcillo about Brain Trauma and Schellie Fanfan, Mental Health Coach! · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

0:04
Speaker 1: Welcome to Money Making Conversations. It's the show that she
0:07
Speaker 1: has the secrets of success experience firsthand by marketing and
0:10
Speaker 1: Brandon expert Rashan McDonald. I will know he's given me
0:13
Speaker 1: advice on many occasions. In occasion didn't notice I'm not broke.
0:17
Speaker 1: You know. He'll be interview with celebrity CEOs, entrepreneurs and
0:20
Speaker 1: industry decision makers. It's what he likes to do, it's
0:22
Speaker 1: what he likes to share. Now it's time to hear
0:25
Speaker 1: from my man, Rashan McDonald money Making Conversations. Here we come.
0:29
Speaker 1: My next guest is Daniel Carsilo. He is the founder
0:33
Speaker 1: and chief executive officer with SNA Health, biotechnology company focused
0:38
Speaker 1: on developing the novel therapies of tomorrow and delivering new
0:41
Speaker 1: care paradigms for today. Daniel is a well known speaker
0:45
Speaker 1: and IF advocate on behalf of traumatic brain injury t
0:48
Speaker 1: b I survivors and people dealing with mental health challenges.
0:52
Speaker 1: Mr Carsilo played in the n h L which we
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Speaker 1: all know that little circle can be a train wreck.
1:00
Speaker 1: As they say. Reason I say it's a train wreck
1:02
Speaker 1: because his nickname car On car On. During his ten
1:08
Speaker 1: year nh career for his explosive playing on the ice,
1:12
Speaker 1: no for protecting his teammates. They call that an enforce her. Okay,
1:15
Speaker 1: in basketball they got me. Football they got Spen. But
1:18
Speaker 1: in hockey and basketball, those two, those two, there were
1:21
Speaker 1: pops up a lot. Mr Daniel helped Chicago win two
1:25
Speaker 1: Stanley Club Championships with the Blackhawks, but a great personal
1:29
Speaker 1: cost to himself. We'll talk about what son of health
1:32
Speaker 1: and the price you can pay for being and enforcing NHL.
1:35
Speaker 1: Please welcome to money making conversation in Master Cars. Mr
1:38
Speaker 1: Daniel Carno. How you doing, sir, I'm good. How are you? Um?
1:44
Speaker 1: Let's talk about I'm gonna ta my hockey. I'm I
1:46
Speaker 1: love all sports, okay. And I was in New York.
1:51
Speaker 1: I was I think that was in New York and
1:52
Speaker 1: Nanny went to my first hockey game. Was enjoying it.
1:56
Speaker 1: I was enjoying it. It's two shows going in the
2:00
Speaker 1: hockey game, Daniel. You can probably you're on the ice,
2:03
Speaker 1: but there's also a show that goes on in the stands, okay,
2:06
Speaker 1: and the hockey crowd. I think it was the most
2:09
Speaker 1: rowity group of people I've ever been in the stands
2:12
Speaker 1: with Okay, I've been to the baseball games. I've been
2:15
Speaker 1: to the football games. I've been to the basketball games, okay,
2:18
Speaker 1: but that hockey fan beer drinking was extreme and women
2:23
Speaker 1: were the rowdiest I've ever seen in any sports setting.
2:27
Speaker 1: Where the women I would like to actually stunned Daniel
2:30
Speaker 1: at the beer drinking and the rowdiness of the women. Okay,
2:33
Speaker 1: that's my experience in the stands. Then you're dealing with
2:36
Speaker 1: this tremendous, volatile sport of violence was you can say,
2:41
Speaker 1: a time very graceful called ice. How did you get
2:44
Speaker 1: involved with the as a young hockey player? What attracted
2:48
Speaker 1: you to the sport? So? I grew up in Canada,
2:52
Speaker 1: and as soon as you get born, you can walk,
2:55
Speaker 1: you get put on skates. So I started at three
2:58
Speaker 1: years old. And one of the things that attracted me
3:02
Speaker 1: to the sport was just being able to move with
3:06
Speaker 1: a group of guys towards one goal. Because you have
3:09
Speaker 1: to move in synchronicity towards that common goal. Whoever is
3:13
Speaker 1: more connected will ultimately win the game. And and then
3:16
Speaker 1: there was also this other aspect of you know you
3:18
Speaker 1: mentioned going to hockey games. Doesn't want a bounce. It's
3:22
Speaker 1: like m m a on skates and you're legally allowed
3:25
Speaker 1: to hit somebody when when they have the puck. So
3:27
Speaker 1: it was definitely attracted to the aggressive nature of the
3:31
Speaker 1: sport as well. Well. The aggressive nature. Didn't that I
3:35
Speaker 1: wanted to ask you that for now, go back to
3:37
Speaker 1: my experience at the at the at the hockey game.
3:40
Speaker 1: So I'm enjoying the movement, the the gracefulness you all
3:45
Speaker 1: of a sudden at the at the end of the
3:48
Speaker 1: hockey we there's a fight going on. It had nothing
3:50
Speaker 1: to do what the other eat of that. I would
3:53
Speaker 1: I would tell as as a as a fan, I
3:55
Speaker 1: would like, what the heck, what is going on? But
3:58
Speaker 1: everybody in this day like wow, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
4:02
Speaker 1: I'm as m. I'm as the first time and I've
4:04
Speaker 1: been to more hockey gate system was like like caught off.
4:08
Speaker 1: I remember, I really understand how that played a role
4:12
Speaker 1: into it. And people start educating that's where hockey as
4:14
Speaker 1: they do that. That's how I go like that explained
4:16
Speaker 1: to me? Would you be called carbomb because I'm pleading sure,
4:20
Speaker 1: you're one of the guys at the other end of
4:22
Speaker 1: the ice that I was like confused, that's what were
4:24
Speaker 1: you doing? What was going on here, Daniel. So we
4:28
Speaker 1: have in hockey, you have four lines and forwards. So
4:31
Speaker 1: you have six forwards, two lines that are essentially your
4:35
Speaker 1: skill guys that are quote unquote untouchable, and then you
4:40
Speaker 1: have your third and fourth line who are more grinders
4:43
Speaker 1: who wear the other skill guys down. So one of
4:46
Speaker 1: my jobs was to be an antagonist, was to ensure
4:51
Speaker 1: that the other team knew not to take any shots
4:54
Speaker 1: at our top six guys. So there's a little bit
4:56
Speaker 1: of an unwritten code because then I wouldn't take shots
4:59
Speaker 1: at theirs. And if that did happen, then you know, um,
5:04
Speaker 1: I had a pretty unpredictable nature to myself, so you
5:07
Speaker 1: would have to answer to me. And if their guy
5:10
Speaker 1: took shots at, you know, one of our skill guys,
5:12
Speaker 1: you'd think that I would go after the enforcer, when
5:16
Speaker 1: in fact, I would, you know, take the next shift
5:19
Speaker 1: and my coach would probably put me on the top
5:21
Speaker 1: six line and I would go after one of their
5:24
Speaker 1: skill guys. So kind of tip for tad get their
5:26
Speaker 1: guys instead of thinking about scoring goals distracted by me
5:30
Speaker 1: and trying to trying to keep their head on straight. Yeah,
5:33
Speaker 1: in baseball, that would be if their star player got hit,
5:37
Speaker 1: then the next inning when their planner comes, they can
5:40
Speaker 1: hit him with a baseball. That's now now a lot
5:43
Speaker 1: of people trying to outlawd that now in hockey that
5:47
Speaker 1: the model of what you just spoke to me is
5:49
Speaker 1: that still the norm. Are people trying to show away
5:52
Speaker 1: from neck especially with being on TV so much that days. Yeah,
5:55
Speaker 1: so I think that there's there's a lot of backlash,
5:58
Speaker 1: but I think we have to remember how the game
6:01
Speaker 1: was founded. Ultimately, there's a regular season, but that regular
6:06
Speaker 1: season is all set up to get to the playoffs
6:08
Speaker 1: to then win the Stanley Cup. And the Stanley Cup
6:11
Speaker 1: is a seven game series, right, four rounds of seven games,
6:15
Speaker 1: So at the end of the day, there is always
6:17
Speaker 1: this aspect of taking somebody's will to play away, and
6:21
Speaker 1: the way you do that is you you lean on
6:24
Speaker 1: them with with physicality. Obviously you have to score more
6:27
Speaker 1: goals to win the game, but over that period of
6:30
Speaker 1: time you have to make sure that there's there's a
6:32
Speaker 1: nice meld of physicality and skill. And so I don't
6:37
Speaker 1: know if it will ever you know, be out of
6:40
Speaker 1: the game, but there's definitely less fighting nowadays, which I
6:44
Speaker 1: think is a positive thing, and there's no more enforcers
6:49
Speaker 1: in the sense of the word. There's guys that can
6:51
Speaker 1: fight if something does happen. And so it's trending in
6:54
Speaker 1: the right direction being that you know, now they're on
6:57
Speaker 1: ESPN and T n T and you have some TV
7:00
Speaker 1: deals and really people I think in in Canada still
7:04
Speaker 1: there's the purest of the sport where they want to
7:06
Speaker 1: see the fighting, but to attract new fans to the game,
7:09
Speaker 1: I think the game is trending in the right direction
7:11
Speaker 1: where we're moving away from the right. We really we
7:14
Speaker 1: we This is what's just taken to this conversation, that
7:17
Speaker 1: whole circle and how you can just run up to
7:20
Speaker 1: a player and just pin him against the ice and
7:23
Speaker 1: you're moving at a hundred miles an hour and sometimes
7:25
Speaker 1: they don't see him that that that that's coming, and
7:29
Speaker 1: it can lead to an ultimate collision or smash up
7:32
Speaker 1: against the rink itself. And those collisions of what leads
7:36
Speaker 1: us to the conversation we have in the day, those
7:39
Speaker 1: those you know you see him in football, you know
7:41
Speaker 1: a running back is coming through the line, another player
7:43
Speaker 1: is meeting him at the same impactful moment that's causing
7:48
Speaker 1: brain damage and his cause, and people are starting to
7:51
Speaker 1: do tests. Some people are dying and asking can we
7:53
Speaker 1: get that players brains that we can do research on
7:56
Speaker 1: there is That's where we're at with with Sana. Yeah,
8:00
Speaker 1: so I think that donating your brain for research is
8:03
Speaker 1: really important. Unfortunately, that happens after men have passed away
8:09
Speaker 1: with a history of repetitive head trauma. There's never been
8:12
Speaker 1: anybody found to have chronic traumatic encephalopathy, which is a
8:18
Speaker 1: neurodegenerative disease similar to Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, a l S, and
8:23
Speaker 1: dementia where eventually a taw protein takes over your brain
8:27
Speaker 1: and you're unable to do the normal tasks um of
8:31
Speaker 1: an everyday human being. And when these symptoms start to
8:35
Speaker 1: arise and there's little to no education or awareness or understanding,
8:40
Speaker 1: then you have people passing away and trying to cope
8:43
Speaker 1: in a in a number of different various ways. So
8:46
Speaker 1: I think that the settlement with the NFL really opened
8:49
Speaker 1: a lot of people's eyes and in the community of
8:52
Speaker 1: hockey to speaking about how not only the concussive hits
8:57
Speaker 1: are affecting individuals after they're done playing and during but
9:03
Speaker 1: also how these subconcussive hits are are affecting people over
9:07
Speaker 1: a longer period of time. So they've done things like
9:10
Speaker 1: move the age of hitting up um to incur less damage, etcetera.
9:14
Speaker 1: But uh, we are definitely in a brain eccentric age
9:19
Speaker 1: if you look at all supplementations and and even outside
9:23
Speaker 1: of the sporting world, everybody's really focused on on the brain.
9:26
Speaker 1: And so you know, I think making sure that people
9:30
Speaker 1: that the men playing the sports are aware of the
9:34
Speaker 1: risk and then making sure that they have the proper
9:36
Speaker 1: treatment to recover during the sport and then after having
9:42
Speaker 1: the proper resources to rely on, I think is extremely
9:45
Speaker 1: important and it's one of our goals absolutely to raise
9:47
Speaker 1: awareness for that and for traumatic brain injury. You know,
9:50
Speaker 1: I just recently saw a special I want to make
9:53
Speaker 1: sure I get the team weight. I believe it was
9:54
Speaker 1: do your Red Wings versus the Avalanche? Correct? Yeah, and
9:58
Speaker 1: uh and so you know, and my wife, you know,
10:00
Speaker 1: she doesn't watch hockey, and it was so it was
10:02
Speaker 1: such a compelling series. It puts a violence series too.
10:06
Speaker 1: You know, it was like you know, it was like
10:09
Speaker 1: you know, you was you was you were blown away
10:11
Speaker 1: because of the fact that you know, here with two
10:13
Speaker 1: of the violent individuals that were sitting sharing the stage
10:17
Speaker 1: as warriors. Who can actually sit next to you doesn't
10:19
Speaker 1: be civil? How did you translate you being this? You know,
10:24
Speaker 1: you don't get a name like you know, CARBONMB unless
10:26
Speaker 1: you're doing something out there. How did that translate? I
10:30
Speaker 1: know your teammates got you, how did you translate away
10:33
Speaker 1: from the court with your competitors are the other teams
10:35
Speaker 1: in the league, So it's it's funny. Guys that did
10:39
Speaker 1: my job are usually the closest. We'd run into each
10:42
Speaker 1: other at you know, bars or afterwards at other events
10:46
Speaker 1: and shake hands and hug and it was just all
10:50
Speaker 1: part of the game. It's all understood. It's similar to
10:54
Speaker 1: the confusion that you see. I'm sure some people get
10:57
Speaker 1: when m m A fighters are clapping each other and
11:00
Speaker 1: immediately after the fight, right, So hockey's um very much
11:04
Speaker 1: like m m A on skates. I think that's why
11:07
Speaker 1: it's so compelling and exciting when you go and watch
11:10
Speaker 1: it live. That's such a different experience when you're watching
11:14
Speaker 1: it on TV. But we get on. We get on
11:17
Speaker 1: pretty well, and we understand that, you know, we are
11:21
Speaker 1: gladiators in a sense that um, we're programmed to suffer
11:27
Speaker 1: and to take damage for the good of the team.
11:30
Speaker 1: And however that looks if that looks like fighting somebody,
11:33
Speaker 1: then so be it. If it looks like laying down
11:35
Speaker 1: blocking a hundred slap shot, um, however we can get
11:41
Speaker 1: to the final goal of of winning. Uh, it's all,
11:45
Speaker 1: it's all a part of that game. Just just I
11:49
Speaker 1: know the interviews about this, but I just want to
11:51
Speaker 1: get your feedback. I saw that and I was just
11:54
Speaker 1: taken away by the violence and then the team we're
11:58
Speaker 1: in them, camaraderie of it. A person like you who
12:02
Speaker 1: was not part of that and saw that. What was
12:04
Speaker 1: your takeaway? Was it too much violence? Did you say? Wow? Sometimes,
12:08
Speaker 1: oh my god when you watch that that that that
12:11
Speaker 1: that especially that was put put on by ESPN A
12:14
Speaker 1: ray Birds, I mean the reb Wings versus the Avalanche. Yeah.
12:18
Speaker 1: So that's how I learned the game. I watched rock'em
12:23
Speaker 1: Sock Them videos and I watched these men be gladiators
12:27
Speaker 1: out there, and the game was again, like much different
12:32
Speaker 1: back then than it is today right where it's trending
12:35
Speaker 1: in a different direction. But when I came up, I'm
12:37
Speaker 1: only thirty seven years old, and it was very much
12:41
Speaker 1: like that where you would start games, the puck would
12:45
Speaker 1: drop and you'd have two guys fighting right away, and
12:48
Speaker 1: so um. You know, there's a couple of things that
12:50
Speaker 1: bring people out of their seats, and one of them
12:53
Speaker 1: that brings everybody out of their seats is a fight.
12:56
Speaker 1: So um and the fight, their fights were their fights
13:02
Speaker 1: brooke line brawls, right, so you saw less of like
13:06
Speaker 1: five guys fighting and bench clearing brawls, et cetera. It
13:09
Speaker 1: still happened, Um, But I think that, you know, to
13:14
Speaker 1: make the game, to grow the game outside of you know,
13:17
Speaker 1: the six Canadian teams that we have, and and outside
13:20
Speaker 1: of Colorado and these original six teams Chicago, Detroit, we
13:25
Speaker 1: have to the game has to evolve. And that's that's
13:28
Speaker 1: definitely what's what's happening now. Cool. I was speaking of
13:31
Speaker 1: Daniel Carcillo. He's the two time UH Standard Cup champion
13:35
Speaker 1: with the Chicago Black Off. What you did you win
13:37
Speaker 1: those those those titles? So I lost to them in
13:41
Speaker 1: two thousand and ten with the Flyers, and then I
13:44
Speaker 1: ended up signing with them in two thousand and twelve.
13:46
Speaker 1: I won a Cup in two thousand thirteen. I thought,
13:49
Speaker 1: so I was in Chicago. I was managing Steve Harvey
13:52
Speaker 1: at the time and we were doing the talk show
13:54
Speaker 1: at Chicago. I said, he problems up there when I
13:57
Speaker 1: was up there, and one of those titles up there, well,
13:59
Speaker 1: that city was on fire man, because we did out
14:01
Speaker 1: talk to you the first season and y'all wanted and
14:05
Speaker 1: then y'all wanted the game man. That city was on
14:07
Speaker 1: fire about the black Hawks, man, it was. Yeah, it
14:10
Speaker 1: was a really amazing time to be a block Hawk,
14:13
Speaker 1: to be in the city. It really was one of
14:16
Speaker 1: the modern dynasties because you don't see many teams winning
14:20
Speaker 1: three times within an eight year period. We'll be right
14:23
Speaker 1: back with more money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rushan McDonald. Now,
14:31
Speaker 1: let's return to money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rushan McDonald. So,
14:37
Speaker 1: now now you're out of hockey, and so let's say
14:39
Speaker 1: we do play the game to play the game. You
14:40
Speaker 1: play the game to win. You play the game because
14:42
Speaker 1: God gave your talent. When you start realizing that something's
14:46
Speaker 1: not right in the game that you're playing, when did
14:48
Speaker 1: you start realizing that, Daniel? So, when I signed with
14:52
Speaker 1: the block Hawks, I made an intention to not, you know,
14:57
Speaker 1: manage my symptoms with you know, alcohol, opiates, um toward
15:02
Speaker 1: her all quarters, all these anti inflammatories that most athletes
15:05
Speaker 1: are on. So that was at twenty five and when
15:08
Speaker 1: I got to the black Hawks, I met Steve Monitor,
15:11
Speaker 1: who was seven years sober and he had been through
15:14
Speaker 1: sixteen traumatic brain injuries at that time, and we were
15:18
Speaker 1: kind of just um. We became really really fast friends
15:21
Speaker 1: and and stayed by each other's side for the next
15:24
Speaker 1: five years. In two thousand and thirteen, Steve got cleared
15:28
Speaker 1: for four concussions in a twelve week period, and so
15:32
Speaker 1: at that point he had nineteen and he started to
15:35
Speaker 1: really suffer and I started to see very similar symptoms
15:40
Speaker 1: in myself that he had. And then those symptoms, Daniel,
15:43
Speaker 1: can you tell us who that's what those symptoms were
15:45
Speaker 1: that you started to notice. Yeah, so things like light sensitivity,
15:49
Speaker 1: slurred speech, headache, head pressure, insomnia, impulse control issues, appetite loss,
15:55
Speaker 1: short term long term memory loss, anxiety, depression, sue side
16:00
Speaker 1: all ideation there was. You know, they're pretty serious symptoms
16:04
Speaker 1: and it's it's kind of the first onset of dementia.
16:08
Speaker 1: And when you're experiencing that at thirty three thirty four,
16:12
Speaker 1: while you're still playing, and I'm watching my friend who
16:14
Speaker 1: then retired, really accelerate his degradation if you will. Um,
16:22
Speaker 1: I just looked at myself and I just had my son.
16:25
Speaker 1: In two thousand fourteen, two thousand fifteen February, Steve passed
16:29
Speaker 1: away and then he was found to have a stage
16:35
Speaker 1: three ct E, which is a pretty progressive stage for
16:40
Speaker 1: him only being thirty four. So at the end of
16:43
Speaker 1: that year, we ended up winning again, but I ended
16:46
Speaker 1: up suffering pretty bad. And then I got my seventh
16:49
Speaker 1: concussion in March, and for reasons that I made for
16:54
Speaker 1: my family and for myself, I decided to retire and
16:58
Speaker 1: step away. And then I've sent Spen on this eight
17:00
Speaker 1: year brain health journey to recover my brain quality of life,
17:04
Speaker 1: and it's brought me across a number of different treatments
17:07
Speaker 1: and tools and modalities that I've been able to luckily
17:10
Speaker 1: share with with the following that I have. Well, you
17:13
Speaker 1: know the interesting thing about it, when this interview opportunity
17:16
Speaker 1: presented itself to me, you know, you know, coming off
17:19
Speaker 1: mental health, Mond, coming off mental health and minorities, and
17:22
Speaker 1: we're coming off with so many the layers of trying
17:24
Speaker 1: to get the message across Daniel is that the football
17:28
Speaker 1: Pro Football has done a good job of getting the
17:30
Speaker 1: word out that we have a problem. You know, we
17:33
Speaker 1: have a problem. They've talked about high school, they've talked
17:35
Speaker 1: about middle school. Changing the way you tackle, you know,
17:38
Speaker 1: not tackling with your head. All these things have been
17:41
Speaker 1: put in place, and I felt that at least should
17:44
Speaker 1: allow you to start telling your story, the NHL story,
17:47
Speaker 1: because changes don't happen if it's just only a few
17:49
Speaker 1: people hear about it. And I hope that my platform
17:52
Speaker 1: allows more people to hear about it. What are you
17:54
Speaker 1: trying to get out the most doing this interview about
17:57
Speaker 1: the WHATSNA health platform as well as the experiences that
18:02
Speaker 1: may need to happen within the inn ajail for it
18:05
Speaker 1: to be a safer what's still entertaining league? Yeah, So
18:10
Speaker 1: as far as the NHL goes, I'm really not trying
18:12
Speaker 1: to do anything to change any rules. I just want
18:16
Speaker 1: because damage is gonna happen, So I just want individuals
18:20
Speaker 1: in the league, outside of the league, if you have kids,
18:22
Speaker 1: to know that there's things that you can do to
18:24
Speaker 1: train your brain to increase processing speed, hand eye coordination,
18:29
Speaker 1: as well as peripheral vision. Because unfortunately, right now, there's
18:33
Speaker 1: only a couple of things that can protect your brain
18:36
Speaker 1: from further injury, which is seeing the hit coming and
18:39
Speaker 1: bracing for it so that you stopped the whiplash, effect
18:43
Speaker 1: effectively stopping the damage of your brain slashing around in
18:46
Speaker 1: a rigid skull. And then things like CBD, which is
18:49
Speaker 1: a patented neuro protect and patented by the US government
18:53
Speaker 1: in two thousand three, the only patented neuro protecting on Earth.
18:57
Speaker 1: So things like that that I advocate for, and then
19:01
Speaker 1: just the treatments that I've come across. I've been a
19:04
Speaker 1: astaunis mental health traumatic brain injury advocate, and I always
19:08
Speaker 1: preface it with things can happen in different arenas, because
19:12
Speaker 1: I've talked with veterans, have talked with domestic abuse survivors,
19:17
Speaker 1: have talked with football players, um cheerleaders, you know, swimming
19:24
Speaker 1: people that swim and hit their heads during practice because
19:27
Speaker 1: the pool is populated, so there's equestrian I mean, there's
19:30
Speaker 1: a bunch of different arenas, and I always just speak
19:32
Speaker 1: from the context of if you're suffering, there's things that
19:35
Speaker 1: you can do, and those things don't always include medicine.
19:40
Speaker 1: They can because it does help but they can also
19:43
Speaker 1: include things like float tanks or self deprivation tanks, hyperbaric chamber,
19:48
Speaker 1: cranial sacral which is a technique to to decompress the brain,
19:52
Speaker 1: and also supplementation regiments. And really that's where we saw
19:56
Speaker 1: it was founded because up until three years ago, I
20:01
Speaker 1: was still suffering. If you see them before and after pictures,
20:04
Speaker 1: I was a complete shell of myself. I wasn't able
20:07
Speaker 1: to put thoughts, words, conversations together, and I was deteriorating
20:11
Speaker 1: pretty quickly. It was a very scary time in my life.
20:14
Speaker 1: And and then I took an invitation to go to
20:17
Speaker 1: a decriminalized city and use the active ingredient in magic mushrooms,
20:22
Speaker 1: which is psilocybin, to recover my brain health. And it
20:25
Speaker 1: happened in a in about a sixty day period. And
20:28
Speaker 1: I've now been on that regiment for almost three and
20:31
Speaker 1: a half years, and I've never been a healthier version
20:36
Speaker 1: of myself or higher operating. And just making sure that
20:40
Speaker 1: you know, once you find something that you can create
20:43
Speaker 1: something like we sanna, which can go through the proper
20:47
Speaker 1: regulatory scientific rigor with the FDA to create a new
20:52
Speaker 1: medication for people. Because I believe that people need a
20:55
Speaker 1: diagnosis and then they need a prescription um that doesn't
20:59
Speaker 1: nest necessarily take them six months to get acclimated to
21:03
Speaker 1: like the current essess or as an antidepressants we have
21:05
Speaker 1: on the market. When they sat the bio over to
21:07
Speaker 1: me about certain things they want to talk about. When
21:09
Speaker 1: I hear the word psychedelic assisted therapy, I'm going old school.
21:13
Speaker 1: I hate the word a LSD. When I hear psychodad, Okay, cool,
21:16
Speaker 1: are we're talking about that? Or we're talking about CBD
21:19
Speaker 1: or what are we talking about when you talk about
21:20
Speaker 1: the assisted therapy, Because it's a it's a combination that
21:24
Speaker 1: I've taken both hallucinogenic and non hallucinogenic. So when you're
21:28
Speaker 1: doing the larger doses of psilocybin, you definitely want to
21:33
Speaker 1: have a person there that's guiding you. So that's what
21:36
Speaker 1: they speak about in the context of psychedelic assisted psychotherapy
21:41
Speaker 1: and psychotherapy works. We know that. And when you add
21:44
Speaker 1: in something like psilocybin or m d M A that's
21:47
Speaker 1: going to be coming online there and it's in phase
21:50
Speaker 1: three for PTSD survivors with the FDA right now. You
21:55
Speaker 1: are basically in a lot of these substances UM, looking
21:59
Speaker 1: at the trauma, meeting the trauma head on. So in
22:02
Speaker 1: the context of addiction, you are figuring out and you
22:07
Speaker 1: will be shown why you are addicted to a certain
22:11
Speaker 1: substance or why you're suffering from PTSD. You have to
22:15
Speaker 1: relive that trauma in order to come out of that
22:18
Speaker 1: ceremony UM feeling a little less weight. So then when
22:24
Speaker 1: in real life you have something that triggers you and
22:27
Speaker 1: triggers that trauma, you have a less emotional response to it,
22:31
Speaker 1: effectively not needing the alcohol or the other substances that
22:35
Speaker 1: you would normally need to numb that down. So it's
22:39
Speaker 1: a really efficacious way of of dealing with mental health
22:44
Speaker 1: symptoms and it's um successful over sixty seven percent of
22:48
Speaker 1: the time, unlike what we have on the market now
22:52
Speaker 1: that works around seventeen to thirty percent of the time.
22:55
Speaker 1: Was talking to Daniel Corsillo, I'm gos to um. It
22:59
Speaker 1: was Sound Health, a two time champion that's right standing
23:02
Speaker 1: Cup and Chicago Blackhawks. He's a champion there now he's
23:06
Speaker 1: trying champion of calls that's out there trying to make
23:08
Speaker 1: a difference with with the brain traumatic brain injury. You know,
23:12
Speaker 1: then and we can talk with this car accidents, we
23:14
Speaker 1: can talk about it's a lot of different ways. I
23:16
Speaker 1: like a like a knucklehead. I tell you, I got
23:19
Speaker 1: a hicky right here, Daniel. When I was undeath, the
23:22
Speaker 1: cabinet forgot the top cabinet was up and raised up automatically,
23:26
Speaker 1: and bro I saw if I saw stars, I saw
23:29
Speaker 1: I could I could touch them. And so these type
23:31
Speaker 1: of injuries, you know, we kind of like blow them off,
23:34
Speaker 1: but people have died from these type of injuries, you know,
23:37
Speaker 1: sudden impact on your brain. So we cannot trivialize what
23:41
Speaker 1: you're talking about in any situation, especially when you involve
23:45
Speaker 1: your kid in physical sports, whether it's uh, you know,
23:48
Speaker 1: like I said, whether you know, we look at it.
23:50
Speaker 1: We look at it. We look at wrastling, we look
23:52
Speaker 1: at football, we look at uh hockey. But it also
23:56
Speaker 1: happens in basketball because the physical contact, the elbows to
23:59
Speaker 1: the face, you know, a sudden going and elevating the air,
24:02
Speaker 1: you fall, hit your head on the floor. There's so
24:04
Speaker 1: many ways that kids and young people are walking away.
24:07
Speaker 1: I just want to let you know, man, you look fantastic.
24:09
Speaker 1: You're very articulate, and to say that you were a
24:12
Speaker 1: staged several years ago where you were a shell of
24:15
Speaker 1: a man. Today, my brother, you are outstanding. Man. I
24:18
Speaker 1: am I am U. I am a walking testimony to
24:22
Speaker 1: hear you that I want to see me. Whatever you
24:24
Speaker 1: gotta send to me to promote what you're doing, because
24:27
Speaker 1: if this is what it can get you from some
24:30
Speaker 1: from a shell, to get you control of your life,
24:33
Speaker 1: being articulate, having a smile, brand awareness, socially awareness. Let's
24:38
Speaker 1: get that message out there. What's son a? Where you at? Man?
24:40
Speaker 1: That's that's my new world conduct. Okay, thank you man.
24:45
Speaker 1: I appreciate the kind words. And it's um, yeah, it's
24:49
Speaker 1: been uh, it's been a long journey. I feel I've
24:52
Speaker 1: always felt that there's a larger purpose to life than
24:56
Speaker 1: you know, essentially pushing a punk around. You know, it's
24:59
Speaker 1: kind of always U. I have a mind that was
25:00
Speaker 1: always kind of looking for other things even though I
25:03
Speaker 1: was in my career and um, I feel like, you know,
25:07
Speaker 1: you get tested and this is uh, not necessarily another test,
25:12
Speaker 1: but really a culmination of everything that I've done in
25:15
Speaker 1: my life up to this point to help mitigate suffering,
25:18
Speaker 1: whether it's in the traumatic brain injury context or whether
25:21
Speaker 1: it's outside of it, because these medicines have the potential
25:25
Speaker 1: to help activate the brain, help flush out you know,
25:30
Speaker 1: inflammation uh from from damaged parts of the brain, stimulate
25:34
Speaker 1: the brain, essentially making us feel better, more creative, better
25:40
Speaker 1: access to language and memory. And it's um yeah, it's
25:45
Speaker 1: just a really exciting time. So I appreciate you having
25:47
Speaker 1: me on your platform to to talk about this. Well.
25:50
Speaker 1: Appreciate you because first of all, a knowledge is power,
25:53
Speaker 1: and when you have knowledge and you're able to share
25:56
Speaker 1: with people who may not be aware, I think it's
25:58
Speaker 1: even more incredible. Experiens the fact that you've taken a
26:02
Speaker 1: brilliant career ten years and any sport, especially at the
26:05
Speaker 1: level you played, to walk away two championships and then
26:08
Speaker 1: to be on my interview and be able to articulate
26:10
Speaker 1: the next phase of your life. This is the one
26:13
Speaker 1: that I always tell people anything in life. You know,
26:15
Speaker 1: athletics is a sharp phase of your life. The other
26:18
Speaker 1: phase of your life that fifty plus period. What are
26:21
Speaker 1: you doing now? You have a plan, my friend Daniel
26:24
Speaker 1: and I am I want a champion in and I'm
26:26
Speaker 1: very serious. Whatever you do, I want to kind of like,
26:29
Speaker 1: you know, if you give me something that we can
26:31
Speaker 1: part down the information so I can put it in
26:34
Speaker 1: my social media, put it on my newsletter and things
26:37
Speaker 1: like that on my LinkedIn account. I definitely want to
26:39
Speaker 1: assist you and that spread the word. Okay, of course
26:42
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. I'll definitely send over some information. Thank you.
26:46
Speaker 1: I want to thank him for coming on my show
26:48
Speaker 1: two times, Stanley cup Chop. He was he wanted when
26:50
Speaker 1: I was in Chicago, Okay, so I feel like I
26:53
Speaker 1: got little ownership for this man's relationship. Again, thank you
26:56
Speaker 1: for coming on Money Making Conversation about the class, Daniel,
26:59
Speaker 1: So come thanks together. If you want to see this
27:01
Speaker 1: interview or hear this interview on money Making Conversation Masterclass,
27:04
Speaker 1: please go to money Making Conversation dot com. I'm Rashan McDonald.
27:07
Speaker 1: I am your host. We'll be right back with more
27:10
Speaker 1: money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rushan McDonald. You are now
27:16
Speaker 1: tuned into the money Making Conversations Minute of Inspiration with
27:20
Speaker 1: Rashan McDonald. Hi, I'm ra Sean McDonald for money Making
27:23
Speaker 1: Conversation Masterclass with your daily meaning of Inspiration. This week,
27:27
Speaker 1: I sat down with attorney arbitrator Arthur and Emmy nominated
27:31
Speaker 1: host of Divorce Court Judge Faith Jenkins. Judge Faith Jenkins
27:34
Speaker 1: shares why it may be beneficial to add your own
27:36
Speaker 1: perspective and opinion to your position. What would happen with
27:40
Speaker 1: someone's case would literally depend on who got their case.
27:43
Speaker 1: So if I got a case and it was a
27:45
Speaker 1: young person from Harlem, I would have a different perspective
27:50
Speaker 1: than a lot of my colleagues. So it was very
27:52
Speaker 1: important for me to add my perspective to that job.
27:57
Speaker 1: So when it came time to calling on me for television,
28:00
Speaker 1: they were looking for people like me. You could add
28:03
Speaker 1: a different perspective and opinion when giving analysis on these cases.
28:08
Speaker 1: If you want to listen to this full interview with
28:10
Speaker 1: Judge Faith Jenkins is available on money Making Conversation dot com.
28:14
Speaker 1: Now let's return to Money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rashan McDonald's.
28:20
Speaker 1: My guest is Shelly fan Fan fan Fan is the
28:23
Speaker 1: Florida state licensed mental health counselor. She's currently the chief
28:27
Speaker 1: executive officer of Harmony Mental Health and Behavioral Services for Children,
28:31
Speaker 1: Adolescents and Adults. Shelly is also the founder and sole
28:35
Speaker 1: owner of Asked Shelley Consulting, LLC. Or she consoles with
28:39
Speaker 1: individual businesses, ministries, and organizations to maximize performance and productivity.
28:45
Speaker 1: Shelly's passion is to change the world, one life, one family,
28:48
Speaker 1: and one community at a time. Please work with the
28:51
Speaker 1: Money Making Conversation Master Class Shelly fan Fan. How you doing?
28:55
Speaker 1: I am well? Hello, thank you for having me. Well,
28:58
Speaker 1: you see, bright Chipper is that it's a standard and
29:01
Speaker 1: mo for your personality. Absolutely, I got up this morning.
29:05
Speaker 1: I still have purpose. Uh, impact is my my my currency.
29:11
Speaker 1: So yes, there's so much more to smile about than
29:14
Speaker 1: there is to frown about. But you know, but you
29:16
Speaker 1: always get these people go, why are you so happy? Well,
29:19
Speaker 1: you know they want to bring you down. You know
29:20
Speaker 1: they want they feel there's a reason or dysfunctional role
29:24
Speaker 1: in your life to have this level of enthusiasm that
29:27
Speaker 1: I say that not even joking, because they have people
29:30
Speaker 1: like that. How do you how do you deal with
29:33
Speaker 1: people who who have that negative built in energy that
29:38
Speaker 1: they want to just spread instead of absorbing positivity. I
29:42
Speaker 1: try to be as positive as possible and make sure
29:44
Speaker 1: that I do that consistently, because being fulfilled and being
29:49
Speaker 1: in purpose and finding a reason to smile is no
29:53
Speaker 1: longer a normal thing. It's quite abnormal. So when people
29:57
Speaker 1: respond to that, it's because they are acting you to
30:00
Speaker 1: be defeated. They're expecting you to be discouraged, They're expected
30:04
Speaker 1: you to be at your wits end. And so it's
30:07
Speaker 1: not uncommon for people to ask me, like, why are
30:10
Speaker 1: you smiling so big? But the reason why my mantra
30:13
Speaker 1: is lived in your smile is because I went from
30:16
Speaker 1: that stage in my life where I'm you know, you know,
30:19
Speaker 1: I spread the misery because I was so miserable on
30:22
Speaker 1: the inside. And so I am very intentional about spreading positivity.
30:28
Speaker 1: And when I deal with people or when I come
30:30
Speaker 1: to across across people who have that attitude, I just
30:35
Speaker 1: basically confunct them and encourage them to fix their focus,
30:40
Speaker 1: and um, I try my best to give them a
30:43
Speaker 1: different perspective and let them know that there's so much
30:47
Speaker 1: more working for us than there is working against us
30:50
Speaker 1: when you speak of that different perspective, because if it's
30:53
Speaker 1: based on who you meet, there's no cookie color game
30:57
Speaker 1: plan you can give to everybody. Otherwise you're not really
30:59
Speaker 1: servicing the correctly and also hearing their issues. You know, now,
31:03
Speaker 1: your name is that I introduced you with Shelley fan
31:06
Speaker 1: Fan was that born and raised name. It is okay, cool,
31:10
Speaker 1: So you know, we go through life and you know,
31:12
Speaker 1: I remember when middle school at times I was bullied. Okay,
31:15
Speaker 1: and you have a name, your name as a little
31:17
Speaker 1: odd due to a fan fan. So will you teased
31:21
Speaker 1: and when you would tease? Did they lead to any
31:23
Speaker 1: bullying incidents that you can remember that you had to
31:26
Speaker 1: overcome or share with your parents or the teachers to
31:29
Speaker 1: to you know, keep you focused and enjoy going to school.
31:34
Speaker 1: I'm happy that you bring that up such a good
31:36
Speaker 1: question because I love my name. Now. It works so
31:39
Speaker 1: well with campaigns because people are like, I'm a fan
31:41
Speaker 1: of fan Fan. I'm like, yeah, keep that energy going.
31:44
Speaker 1: But let me tell you, I never it took a
31:46
Speaker 1: long time for me to really embrace that name because
31:49
Speaker 1: I was bullied. Fan Fan is a very uncommon name.
31:53
Speaker 1: Is actually of Haitian descent. It's pronounced Fafa, but of
31:57
Speaker 1: course you know, in our English language it is pronounced
32:01
Speaker 1: fan fan. That's what people get, that's how they are
32:03
Speaker 1: able to pronounce it. And so in school, I was
32:07
Speaker 1: bullied for having a very strange last name. I was
32:11
Speaker 1: bullied for being so skinny. I was bullied for being
32:14
Speaker 1: Haitian all the things that make me me, and so
32:18
Speaker 1: it really impacted my capacity to self accept now you know,
32:23
Speaker 1: I know that I would when I look back in
32:26
Speaker 1: my life, I kind of went with the flow. You
32:28
Speaker 1: know when I say that, is that the things that
32:30
Speaker 1: people tease me about, I stopped doing it so I
32:34
Speaker 1: can fit in, you know, like they like my teacher
32:37
Speaker 1: used to always asked me to read publicly, you know,
32:39
Speaker 1: and put in the classroom. And one I remember a
32:42
Speaker 1: couple of students they were very, very upset that I
32:45
Speaker 1: was always chosen to read. And that really hit me
32:48
Speaker 1: when I look back on it, and not not just started,
32:50
Speaker 1: you know, just started breaking up my words and saying
32:53
Speaker 1: eight instead of isn't so I can stop being the
32:56
Speaker 1: special student and so and so. I I understand that
33:00
Speaker 1: because of the fact that when you start talking about
33:02
Speaker 1: mental health, people need to understand it doesn't start in
33:06
Speaker 1: high school. It just start as an adult. Sometimes you
33:09
Speaker 1: can go all the way back to you know, uh, preschool,
33:12
Speaker 1: how the adults allowed certain situations, the crying baby or
33:17
Speaker 1: the kid in the corner by itself, or the way
33:20
Speaker 1: the kids dressed. And because kids started a blank slate.
33:23
Speaker 1: So let's start at the at the at that age
33:26
Speaker 1: level that you start counseling and and and treating, so
33:31
Speaker 1: we can then we move up to adolescents, then teens,
33:33
Speaker 1: then adults, and adults are a whole new story. But
33:36
Speaker 1: sometimes if you don't get your adulthood with the proper guidance,
33:40
Speaker 1: then your disaster correct. Well, I'd like to take it
33:45
Speaker 1: back one more stage, and that's in vitro. And it's
33:50
Speaker 1: important for people to understand that mental health starts when
33:55
Speaker 1: you are in the womb of your mom. Because in
33:59
Speaker 1: your room, the womb of a woman, a child is developing,
34:05
Speaker 1: the brain is developing, there is a soul, they have
34:09
Speaker 1: the sense of hearing. I could go on and on
34:12
Speaker 1: about the fetus inside of a woman's womb. And a
34:17
Speaker 1: lot of the times when I'm dealing with individuals who
34:20
Speaker 1: are trying to overcome trauma, their trauma dates back all
34:24
Speaker 1: the way to when they were in their mother's womb.
34:27
Speaker 1: And it could be because the mother was a victim
34:29
Speaker 1: of violence herself, or the mother was a drug abuser.
34:33
Speaker 1: I could go on and on, and so it's important
34:35
Speaker 1: to understand that our mental health lifeline actually starts when
34:40
Speaker 1: we were in the womb of our mother's The way
34:44
Speaker 1: that our mothers cared for them, for herself, her mental health,
34:48
Speaker 1: how well she attended to her health needs while she
34:51
Speaker 1: was pregnant with you, has to do and it is
34:55
Speaker 1: included in the mental health lifeline. When we're working with
34:59
Speaker 1: preschool children or kindergarteners, those young because I treat from
35:03
Speaker 1: the ages of two to it's important to understand that
35:08
Speaker 1: there's so much um of there's so much involved in
35:13
Speaker 1: a child's development of self identity that incorporates their peer interactions.
35:22
Speaker 1: And so when we as parents and caregivers minimize when
35:26
Speaker 1: they come to us and say such and such was
35:29
Speaker 1: talking about meet all the things that we find trivial,
35:32
Speaker 1: it's very huge to a child, and so it's important
35:35
Speaker 1: to understand that those things create impressions. Everything creates impressions.
35:42
Speaker 1: Our brain is a huge recorder. Even those memories that
35:47
Speaker 1: we don't have access to have power. And so as
35:51
Speaker 1: we develop through those developmental stages and we are trying
35:56
Speaker 1: to find ourselves, it's important to understand that all of
36:00
Speaker 1: those experiences matter. They are impressions, and what we impress,
36:06
Speaker 1: we will express. What we impress is what we express
36:11
Speaker 1: so a lot of times when I'm working with adults,
36:13
Speaker 1: it's important for me to kind of go back to
36:16
Speaker 1: those learned experiences that cause those impressions and try to
36:21
Speaker 1: unlearned them so that they can find some freedom and
36:25
Speaker 1: the opportunity to relearn healthy connections and healthy ideas. Absolutely,
36:31
Speaker 1: now as I'm talking to doctor excuse me, I'm talking
36:34
Speaker 1: to Shelley fan Fan. She is a license important license
36:39
Speaker 1: mental health counselor. And I reason like I've been interviewed
36:43
Speaker 1: a lot of African Americans, people of color about mental
36:47
Speaker 1: health because in the community of black and brown we
36:51
Speaker 1: kind of shy way, you know, because just using street terms,
36:54
Speaker 1: I don't want think I'm crazy, you know, I don't
36:57
Speaker 1: think you know, you know, people still use the word
36:59
Speaker 1: retarded and associated with you know, craziness, and you know,
37:03
Speaker 1: these are terminologies within our community that we have not
37:07
Speaker 1: wrapped our conversation around, and that it doesn't allow us
37:10
Speaker 1: to move forward. You know, we call our kids slow.
37:14
Speaker 1: You know, it's still humor tied to a child not
37:18
Speaker 1: functioning properly. That child may be discarded into the back
37:23
Speaker 1: of the house or to a different conversation, or may
37:26
Speaker 1: not be included in part of the family conversation because
37:30
Speaker 1: of embarrassment. How do you deal with those? Because, like said,
37:35
Speaker 1: we started to move forward now because it's called participation,
37:38
Speaker 1: it's called inclusive awareness of a child, um intelligence, a
37:45
Speaker 1: child's social adaptability, adaptability, and things like that. Talk to
37:51
Speaker 1: us well, it starts with education because our breakthrough is
37:56
Speaker 1: often on the other side of something we do not know.
37:59
Speaker 1: And so this idea of crazy. Usually when people say crazy,
38:03
Speaker 1: I asked them, what does that look like for you?
38:06
Speaker 1: And so most people will define like a person. Think
38:10
Speaker 1: of a man at a seven eleven who's talking to himself,
38:14
Speaker 1: you know, wiggling his fingers and responding to internal stimuli.
38:18
Speaker 1: Most of the time people see that as mental illness.
38:22
Speaker 1: When they think of the word mental health, they automatically
38:26
Speaker 1: think mental illness, the person who has schizophrenia, the person
38:31
Speaker 1: who has bipolar who's blowing up things, burning things, and
38:34
Speaker 1: having anger outbursts. And what I try to teach every
38:39
Speaker 1: opportunity that I have, especially to black and brown communities,
38:44
Speaker 1: is that mental health is a spectrum. It starts with
38:49
Speaker 1: being completely whole and emotionally well, and most of us
38:54
Speaker 1: do not fit into that category all the way to
38:58
Speaker 1: having a diet ignosable mental health disorder. So what I
39:04
Speaker 1: try to teach is, what does it look like outside
39:08
Speaker 1: of that space, outside of the area that criteria for
39:11
Speaker 1: mental illness, What does the rest of that spectrum look like?
39:15
Speaker 1: The rest of that spectrum looks like your inability to
39:18
Speaker 1: commit to another person. It looks like your inability to
39:22
Speaker 1: get eight hours of uninterrupted rests. It looks like your
39:27
Speaker 1: self doubt. It looks like your fear and anxiety that
39:30
Speaker 1: keeps you stuck. It looks like your procrastination. It looks
39:34
Speaker 1: like that book that you haven't written. It looks like
39:37
Speaker 1: that song that you haven't sung. It looks like your
39:40
Speaker 1: inability to overcome your emotional issues. It's your inability to
39:46
Speaker 1: to communicate effectively without allowing your emotions to drive the car.
39:52
Speaker 1: It's your incapacity to manage your anger and be successful
39:56
Speaker 1: at work. It's your inability to manage your fin answers effectively.
40:01
Speaker 1: When we look at it that way, it changes our
40:06
Speaker 1: mind about what mental health really looks like, and then
40:09
Speaker 1: it expands the need in our communities for health. Right. Well,
40:15
Speaker 1: you know the thing about it is that you have
40:18
Speaker 1: an inner city, then you have or which is which
40:20
Speaker 1: which is totally a lockdown, and well, you know there's
40:23
Speaker 1: a lot of work has to be done. You're talking
40:25
Speaker 1: about the wealth gap, that's a mental gap too. That's
40:28
Speaker 1: we're definitely in the mind of city. But it's all
40:30
Speaker 1: about embarrassing how people feel the statue or the place
40:35
Speaker 1: they want to be recognized within the community. And it
40:37
Speaker 1: starts with your children. And your children are your future.
40:41
Speaker 1: And so you know, we bring these innocent, taught or
40:45
Speaker 1: innocent people into our lives. And I always tell people
40:48
Speaker 1: to have a healthy child and that maybe define what
40:51
Speaker 1: you might call healthy into a life is a miracle.
40:55
Speaker 1: And in the process of the adults, this is the
40:58
Speaker 1: whole thing. You have an adult, you have the child,
41:00
Speaker 1: and then and the child may not be living up
41:03
Speaker 1: to the physical and mental expectations of the parents. How
41:07
Speaker 1: do you deal with that? So the love and the
41:11
Speaker 1: in the not lawering the standards, but raising the love
41:17
Speaker 1: and being able to push that child at that level
41:20
Speaker 1: to their maximum efforts. How do you balance that because
41:23
Speaker 1: you're dealing with all three. You're dealing with the lessons,
41:25
Speaker 1: you're dealing with the children, and you're dealing with the adults.
41:29
Speaker 1: So in parenting, when we are providing parenting training. One
41:35
Speaker 1: of the things, one of the main lessons that we
41:37
Speaker 1: teach is that the love and affection, celebration of life,
41:44
Speaker 1: those things should not be contingent upon expectations or what
41:49
Speaker 1: we define as good behavior. It should never right. And
41:54
Speaker 1: so sometimes I'll have parents say, or what, we canceled
41:58
Speaker 1: his birthday party because he was blah blah blah blah right,
42:01
Speaker 1: he didn't listen, he got in trouble. And so we
42:03
Speaker 1: have to help parents understand what's healthy to have as
42:08
Speaker 1: contingencies because a lot of parenting is very performance based,
42:14
Speaker 1: and then we grow up as adults and we are
42:17
Speaker 1: over performers, we are perfectionists. We're not living happy lives.
42:22
Speaker 1: And where does that come from? That comes from performance
42:26
Speaker 1: based parenting. Where I love you when I say when
42:29
Speaker 1: I believe you're doing good, when the report cards all aids,
42:33
Speaker 1: when you got that trophy at school. It is at
42:35
Speaker 1: that point that I give you love and affection, but
42:37
Speaker 1: when you are not meeting my expectations, I withhold my
42:41
Speaker 1: love and affection. It causes children to understand that love
42:45
Speaker 1: depends on fill in the blank, and that's a that's
42:50
Speaker 1: a problem for a lot of marriages too. I always
42:52
Speaker 1: say when you say I love you, because everything after
42:55
Speaker 1: the word because becomes a condition. And so we have
42:59
Speaker 1: to actually teach parents how to unconditionally love and accept
43:05
Speaker 1: their children. And half the time parents who parent that
43:08
Speaker 1: way is because they were parented that way. And so
43:12
Speaker 1: it's about going back and breaking those generational understanding, those
43:16
Speaker 1: generational choices, those generational curses, in order to set the
43:21
Speaker 1: children free. One of the things also in addition to
43:24
Speaker 1: that teaching unconditional love in our parenting, we also have
43:29
Speaker 1: to teach that there's no such thing as good or
43:31
Speaker 1: bad parenting. It's either it's effective or ineffective. And when
43:36
Speaker 1: we are not raising children that are emotionally intelligent and
43:40
Speaker 1: mentally stable, there is some ineffectivity in the way that
43:44
Speaker 1: a person parents, And then it gives us an opportunity
43:47
Speaker 1: to teach parents new skills. New skills are really the key.
43:52
Speaker 1: It's when they seem a series of questions for me
43:55
Speaker 1: to include in my interview, which you I'm speaking with
43:59
Speaker 1: Shell They and Fan. She's a licensed in the state
44:02
Speaker 1: of Florida mental health counselor. She also has another organization
44:06
Speaker 1: called as Shelley Consulting LLCEE where she consults with individuals, businesses, ministries,
44:11
Speaker 1: and organization to maximize performance and productivity. That's how we
44:15
Speaker 1: talked about that productivity, especially coming out of the COVID experience,
44:19
Speaker 1: but also came out of the COVID experience was two
44:22
Speaker 1: words that I heard a lot, conflict resolution, and I
44:25
Speaker 1: heard it a lot in law enforcement. Confluent resolution. Of course,
44:30
Speaker 1: you know, confluence happens in everything, happens in children, happens
44:33
Speaker 1: in relationships, happens in the two adults trying to get
44:37
Speaker 1: into the same door going into a seven elevel. So
44:42
Speaker 1: we need to work conflict resolution. I'm sure that's been
44:44
Speaker 1: a prominent part of your conversations. How what exactly does
44:48
Speaker 1: that mean? Conflict resolution? Well, it means that it's it's
44:53
Speaker 1: basically a process by which we manage on met expectations.
44:58
Speaker 1: Because when you think about conflict, conflict is a problem.
45:01
Speaker 1: It's a nice word for problems. Problems are always rooted
45:04
Speaker 1: in an expectation that wasn't meant. Think of a problem
45:08
Speaker 1: right now, think of problems that you dealt with. It
45:10
Speaker 1: always goes back to a an expectation that you had
45:14
Speaker 1: of someone something, an outcome that you were expecting and
45:18
Speaker 1: the expectation wasn't meant, and so conflict resolution teaches skill
45:22
Speaker 1: sets on how to manage that distress. If that conflict
45:26
Speaker 1: is with another person, Conflict resolution teaches how to have
45:30
Speaker 1: those courageous conversations and be solution focused in it. How
45:35
Speaker 1: do you manage your emotions that disappointment, that anger, that frustration,
45:39
Speaker 1: How do you manage that in order to get to
45:42
Speaker 1: a resolution with someone that you want to preserve a
45:44
Speaker 1: relationship with. Sometimes the resolution is deuces, and that's okay too,
45:49
Speaker 1: But conflict resolution is about that. And one of the
45:51
Speaker 1: things that I teach as a corporate trainer is a
45:54
Speaker 1: lot of the time when we say conflict resolution, what
45:57
Speaker 1: we're trying to say is conflict management. Why because we
46:01
Speaker 1: may not always resolve our conflict the resolution maybe that
46:05
Speaker 1: we're just gonna agree to disagree. Is that a resolve?
46:09
Speaker 1: Well maybe not, But it's a way that we're managing
46:12
Speaker 1: conflict so that we can still be affective, we can
46:15
Speaker 1: still be partners, we can still be married, we can
46:17
Speaker 1: still be co parents, we could still you know, be
46:20
Speaker 1: effective and work towards the go. Conflict management is always
46:23
Speaker 1: the key. We'll be right back with more Money Making
46:26
Speaker 1: Conversations Masterclass with Rushan McDonald. Now let's return to Money
46:34
Speaker 1: Making Conversations Masterclass with Rashan McDonald. Conflict management can be
46:40
Speaker 1: sectioned off. You know, when you're when you're in a
46:42
Speaker 1: police officer, that's a separate conflict management. When you go
46:46
Speaker 1: in for mediation with parenting, that's a separate conflict management
46:51
Speaker 1: resolution discussion, as well as in a girlfriend or a
46:56
Speaker 1: partner relationship or husband and wife relationship, because there's certain
47:00
Speaker 1: contractual agreements that you have when you get married. A
47:03
Speaker 1: lot of people don't realize you've signed a contract, you know,
47:06
Speaker 1: where when you're just a partner, a girlfriend, boy for
47:08
Speaker 1: you can go do somehout, you know, depending on if
47:11
Speaker 1: you've moved in with that person, then that's a different duce.
47:14
Speaker 1: There's a certain mediation that's the conflict can get kind
47:17
Speaker 1: of kind of dicey. But and and and talking to
47:20
Speaker 1: you in mental health and and you know, it all
47:23
Speaker 1: goes back to stress. It always goes back to am
47:27
Speaker 1: I living up to my personal standards? Then? And then
47:30
Speaker 1: if you're not living up your personal standards, are you're
47:32
Speaker 1: living up to your kids stand are you living up
47:34
Speaker 1: to your job standards, So you can just put all
47:37
Speaker 1: this weight on your back and like that that little
47:39
Speaker 1: image of that guy holding up the world Atlas holding
47:42
Speaker 1: you can feel like that person and guess what, it
47:45
Speaker 1: may never come off of you unless you learn how
47:48
Speaker 1: to handle stress. Now I've always felt that, you know, stress,
47:52
Speaker 1: for me, I handled a lot of different ways. Uh,
47:56
Speaker 1: even when I when I bought a house in Atlanta,
47:58
Speaker 1: I made sure I had water near me, or I
48:00
Speaker 1: go near water. I just watched that calmness of the water,
48:04
Speaker 1: and it's just just seeing it. It just really brings
48:07
Speaker 1: me down. And So because I'm not agar cigar smoker,
48:10
Speaker 1: I don't drink wine, so everything's always one on me.
48:14
Speaker 1: And so how I deal with that. I love to bake.
48:17
Speaker 1: I love to cook, you know, because it's a short
48:20
Speaker 1: term window and I can see success. Sometimes stress is
48:23
Speaker 1: tied to goals. So and then in my office I
48:27
Speaker 1: have a garden and so I have this forty five
48:30
Speaker 1: day window where I can see tomatoes, I can see okraw,
48:34
Speaker 1: I can see collar greens, and so that's how ideal
48:37
Speaker 1: with stress. And as I'm just giving those examples of
48:40
Speaker 1: because there's so many different ways. But I time, I
48:42
Speaker 1: tend to tie short time which short term windows too
48:48
Speaker 1: to be able, especially if you're goal order in person
48:50
Speaker 1: like me and you have these long committed plans where
48:53
Speaker 1: you it's a month of whales a year way, or
48:57
Speaker 1: you're not even reaching your goals. Well, I can go
48:58
Speaker 1: out to my garden. I can want me to cherry
49:00
Speaker 1: tomatoes and I'm happy. So when you say stress management,
49:04
Speaker 1: am I in the right direction? Chilly? You are? Absolutely
49:09
Speaker 1: you hit the veil on the head. Stress management is
49:12
Speaker 1: about under first and foremost understanding the importance of having
49:20
Speaker 1: practical wellness tools. What you just talked about. Our wellness tools.
49:26
Speaker 1: I garden. I make sure that I am living by
49:29
Speaker 1: the water, and you know I have these. I give
49:32
Speaker 1: myself an opportunity to achieve success. That's what that is like.
49:35
Speaker 1: I want to be able to see the tomatoes growing.
49:37
Speaker 1: That's success. These are wellness tools, and unfortunately many people
49:42
Speaker 1: don't have many. They may have one or two tools
49:45
Speaker 1: that they use. So if my tool is a glass
49:47
Speaker 1: of wine and sleep, that I'm not dealing with my
49:49
Speaker 1: stress because the tools that I'm using are very avoidant.
49:53
Speaker 1: And so we teach how to classify your stressors into
49:58
Speaker 1: two main categories. What stressors are avoidable and what stressors
50:04
Speaker 1: are unavoidable? Because the ones that are avoidable, that we
50:08
Speaker 1: need to be strategic about avoiding them in a healthy way,
50:12
Speaker 1: because escape avoidance sometimes becomes very unhealthy. You're not really
50:15
Speaker 1: living life because you're just living in escape avoidance, just
50:18
Speaker 1: running from those stressors. So in a healthy way, how
50:21
Speaker 1: do we avoid those avoidable stressors? And how do we
50:25
Speaker 1: manage our stress in those unavoidable stressors? And I am
50:29
Speaker 1: telling you in the twenty four years that I have
50:33
Speaker 1: been in practice, there are so many people out there
50:37
Speaker 1: that do not know how to Here's a word. Here's
50:40
Speaker 1: a word, and that is decompressed. Like decompressed. What do
50:47
Speaker 1: you do to decompress? Because if you're trying to manage
50:52
Speaker 1: your stress, but you don't have the capacity to decompress,
50:55
Speaker 1: it's gonna be very difficult to manage the stress. So
50:58
Speaker 1: of course we teach, you know, a good planning, making
51:01
Speaker 1: sure that we teach harmony versus balance, teach make sure
51:05
Speaker 1: that you are around people that are going to pour
51:07
Speaker 1: life into your accountability partnerships, set realistic goals. But but
51:11
Speaker 1: deeper than that has to be the capacity to decompress.
51:16
Speaker 1: That's your ability to take your anger from a ten
51:20
Speaker 1: to a six, your anxiety from a seven two a three,
51:28
Speaker 1: leaving your office and going at home and understanding you
51:32
Speaker 1: have to change roles. Now, your hats have to change.
51:38
Speaker 1: There has to be an exchange made either at your
51:41
Speaker 1: front door or on your way home so that you're
51:43
Speaker 1: not bringing that energy into your sanctuary. Decompression is key,
51:49
Speaker 1: and there are people that don't know this. They have
51:51
Speaker 1: to learn how, and that's why therapy is so effective. Again,
51:56
Speaker 1: I'm speaking to Shelley fan Fan. I'm a fan of
51:58
Speaker 1: fan Fan Okay, and she's like State of Florida mental
52:04
Speaker 1: health counselor and also she deals with what I'd like
52:07
Speaker 1: to talk about the conversation. We don't have children have
52:11
Speaker 1: mental health. They are not tied to the words that
52:13
Speaker 1: we use because there's so many stress levels the kids
52:16
Speaker 1: have to do. Because we have technology, you know, video
52:19
Speaker 1: games create stress. Uh, just being able to have apps
52:23
Speaker 1: create stress. The fact that your child and yourself are
52:27
Speaker 1: tied to a phone, so they're they're prevoud the conversations
52:31
Speaker 1: while you're driving in the car. That was not privy
52:34
Speaker 1: when I was growing up and we drove, we drove,
52:36
Speaker 1: We got the car. Now you're on the phone. That
52:39
Speaker 1: child may want that attention, but you're given all that
52:41
Speaker 1: attention to the person you're dealing on the phone. They
52:44
Speaker 1: may hear your stress levels and they pick that up.
52:47
Speaker 1: So I know that your world. Sometimes you're inviting that
52:51
Speaker 1: stress into your child's life because of technology. So I
52:55
Speaker 1: want to close what you give me us some pointers
52:57
Speaker 1: on overcoming life obstacle. Absolutely, And are you talking about
53:03
Speaker 1: in terms of children? Because you hit something, you hit,
53:06
Speaker 1: you hit the nail on the head. When you talked
53:08
Speaker 1: about children watching how their parents handle stress, how children
53:14
Speaker 1: learn by watching their parents managing their stress, managing conflict
53:19
Speaker 1: and things of that nature. And so a lot of
53:21
Speaker 1: times when parents come in and they sign up for
53:24
Speaker 1: therapy for their kids, do you know what we do?
53:27
Speaker 1: We asked them to sign up themselves first, because our
53:32
Speaker 1: children are sponges, and it's very important that caregivers are
53:37
Speaker 1: tapping into their own mental health so that they can
53:39
Speaker 1: be better examples for their children and that stress in childhood.
53:44
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that you mentioned that because it's key
53:48
Speaker 1: and all of this emphasis on gaming and winning and
53:53
Speaker 1: likes and shares and all of that, one thing that
53:57
Speaker 1: I want to say here. And I could go on
53:59
Speaker 1: and on about this, but I'm going to keep it brief.
54:02
Speaker 1: Parents have to encourage peer interactions. You can negotiate with
54:06
Speaker 1: your kids. Four hours of peer interaction gets you one
54:10
Speaker 1: hour of gaming. Like, we have to make sure that
54:13
Speaker 1: our children are still connecting with their peers. That's so important.
54:17
Speaker 1: That peer interaction is so important and alleviates a lot
54:21
Speaker 1: of the internal distress that children deal with on a
54:24
Speaker 1: day to day basis. And we have to make sure
54:26
Speaker 1: that children have the opportunity to express themselves. This idea
54:30
Speaker 1: that children should be seen and not heard, that's like
54:33
Speaker 1: a thing of the past. That is unhealthy. It causes
54:37
Speaker 1: mental illness. We have kids that are cutting themselves, they
54:40
Speaker 1: are self mutilating. We have to allow children to speak
54:44
Speaker 1: their minds and parents have to give them the space
54:46
Speaker 1: to do that. Well. I want to thank you Chilling.
54:50
Speaker 1: And like I said, I am based in Atlanta, Georgia.
54:52
Speaker 1: I know you're licensed in Florida. You make trips to Georgia.
54:56
Speaker 1: Please make time and come over. We can talk stress free.
55:00
Speaker 1: You know. I can show you my guard I can
55:03
Speaker 1: make some sauce right in front of you with the
55:05
Speaker 1: holla opinions. I freshly picked the onions, I freshly picked
55:08
Speaker 1: the cilantro. I freshly picked in the hockey ChIL beef
55:13
Speaker 1: steaf tomatoes that we're gonna stred up and enjoy. Of course,
55:16
Speaker 1: the chips are going to be storeball. I can't do everything.
55:19
Speaker 1: Get okay, but again, U I, I appreciate your smiles,
55:23
Speaker 1: appreciate you and the more important to honest conversation. That's
55:26
Speaker 1: why a couple of bringing on Money Making Conversations master Class.
55:28
Speaker 1: So no, you have a home here, to be able
55:30
Speaker 1: to afform to be able to communicate, and I like
55:32
Speaker 1: to believe that the conversation I was able to deliver
55:34
Speaker 1: you was one of honesty and one that you was
55:37
Speaker 1: able to expound on and deliver information for my audience. Okay, absolutely,
55:42
Speaker 1: thank you for having me. Cool. If you want to
55:44
Speaker 1: hear or see this interview on money Making Conversations, UH,
55:46
Speaker 1: go to money Making Conversation dot com. I'm with Sean McDonald.
55:50
Speaker 1: I am your host. You've been listening to Money Making
55:52
Speaker 1: Conversations Masterclass with Rushan McDonald. Always remember to lead with
55:57
Speaker 1: your gifts. Money Making Conversations Masterclass is a presentation of
56:03
Speaker 1: fifteen media Incorporated. You are now tuned into the Money
56:08
Speaker 1: Making Conversations. Minute of Inspiration with Rashan McDonald. This is
56:12
Speaker 1: what I sat down with Earthquake. He's starting to Day
56:15
Speaker 1: Chapelle home teaming Earthquake Legendari streaming on Netflix. Earthquake shares
56:20
Speaker 1: why he puts his faith in his work and allows
56:23
Speaker 1: it to speak for itself. You to real deal correct Earthquake. Yes,
56:28
Speaker 1: I mean because I've just believe let the work speak
56:30
Speaker 1: for itself. There's nothing else. I always felt in our
56:35
Speaker 1: profession that stage is an equalizer. The credits can get
56:39
Speaker 1: you applause in the beginning, but the jokes work. You
56:47
Speaker 1: could tell who works on their craft and who's in
56:49
Speaker 1: our craft. Um deserved to be there, and I think
56:54
Speaker 1: that so I always concentrated on the workshop. Who works
56:58
Speaker 1: speak for itself. If you want to listen to this
57:01
Speaker 1: four interview with Earthquake is available on Mindy Making Conversation
57:04
Speaker 1: dot com